Website:
My ForumE-mail:
cancel.life@gmail.comGender:
FemaleLocation:
VirginiaOccupation:
StudentAge:
16Member Since:
August 8, 2006Answers:
1391Last Update:
February 19, 2009Visitors:
74961Favorite Columnists
karenR
DangerNerd
Razhie
theymos
russianspy1234
Cux
ASAPcamille
holahayley56
MikeCFT
HectorJr
aDoRkAbLe_Co0kIe_
more...
Main Categories:
Love Life
Friendship
Health
View All
about
:.Hey x3My name is Emily and blah blah blah.
:.I have a lot of personal, family, and friend issues of my own so a lot of times, I can probably relate to you a lot of times if you have personal, family, and/or friend issues.
:.I can offer a lot of information, help, and advice on family and friend relationships, love lives, depression, stretching/flexibility, weight loss, violin, being organized, dog training, forensics (public speaking), keeping up with school/extracurricular activities, eating disorders, writing (stories and poems), and probably a lot of other random stuff like what to drink when you eat something spicy and why.
:.Although I can help a lot of you guys on the above subjects, I don't tend to take my own advice so it can become quite an awkward/ironic/contradicting situation for me or make myself sound like a complete and utter hypocrite.
:.Hannah Whitall Smith once said, "The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right." I agree 100% of it. Advice is advice and it is given when asked for. I give it and I leave it at that. It's up to the questioner/advice seeker to take it.
:.That point leads onto my philosophies in advice giving:
1. Advice is given when asked and no time else, unless your friend is about to irritate a black bear, then you should definitely advice your friend to back away and run for his or her life.
2. Advice is not critical, not judgmental, and definitely not biased. Advice is advice and should remain neutral.
3. Advice is to help, not to get 5s on every answer. As a result, my advice ends up being quite blunt and frank with a hint of rambling mixed in.
If you have general questions on the topics I can be a lot of help in (as listed above), most likely, they will be in my FORUM
If it is not, you can inbox me to request me to put it up.
:.If you want to ask me a question directly...
a)if it is not urgent and can wait a week or so, inbox me.
b)if it is an urgent question such as "I'm being eaten by a shark! What do I do???" first of all, I'm quite amazed that you can type while being eaten and second of all, e-mail me at cancel.life@gmail.com. I will answer you by midnight of that day (or if it's 11:55PM, probably by 3PM the following day).
advice
my friend slept over at my house, and we both slept in my room. i have a computer in my room, and i told her that she could go on my computer if she woke up before me, which she did. when i woke up, i was still in bed and i just opened my eyes, but i didnt move or anything. i could see from where i was on my bed that she was going through my computer and looking at all of my things. i could see that she was looking through one of my word documents. then when i said something, i sounded tired and she closed the document immediately and i could see she was hoping that i hadn't seen her looking through my things. i know that i shouldve said something but i didnt, and i completely regret that now, because it shocked me that she would do something like that.
so my question is...should i just try to forget about this happening? and also, is it just me or is it wrong for someone to look around someone elses computer without permission, even if they are(somewhat) a good friend?
thx a lot.
yes. she's invading your privacy. she should've fully known that when you said she could use the cpu, you meant to like go on sites, check her email, use aim. Not go looking at your cpu files. she knew it was wrong since she tried to close out when she heard you and you should definately talk to her about this.
ask her what she was looking at and why. ask her if she would feel good if you looked through all her stuff etc.
ijust want you to clear this little mess with her before it becomes a quarrel and ends up being a fight.
My boyfriend smokes weed and it really bothers me. I know it's HIS life and I shouldn't tell him what to do, but I don't want him to mess up his life. I know people say ciggs are worse then weed, but weed can still give you cancer. I don't want him to die I just want him to STOP doing drugs so I don't always have to worry about him. What can I say and do to help him stop smoking weed?
weed is worse then ciggarets. First of all, it's illegal substance and it's amisdemenor I believe.
you should go to ydoyouthink.com and look for the facts they give you about smoking. I'm sure that weed has worse affects than ciggs do. tell it to him.
tell him that you're gonna have to leave him unless he stops the drug use. tell him that those illegal substance is ruining you relationship and that you're worried about him.
Hey my friend is 11 years old and she thinks she has a yeast infection cause she always wears her bathing suit after shes done swimming to bed and she has yellow stuff in her "down there" she said its yellow and mushy please help!
she needs to tell her mom and go to a doc or gyno to get treatment =] it may be embaressing but it's better to get it out of the way instead of lettting it get worse.
she should change out of her swimming suit when shes' done swimming and to wear lose pants
I am a 14 year old girl, and up until about a week ago I never had a boyfriend, had never been kissed or anything. But last summer I knew a boy from camp, and I liked him then, but I didn't see him again till this summer at the same camp, when he said we should hang out. Soon enough he asked me out, I said yes, and this was all before we actually hung out since camp. He invited me over, his friend was there and I brought a friend of my own. But before I went he put me on the phone with his friend, and his friend asked me if I wanted him to be the first guy I made out with? I said sure we'll see how it goes I guess. And then pretty soon he just took me inside and we made out... but like a lot... it was kind of ridiculous that we didn't even really talk much. And a couple times he did it in front of my friend and his friend which bothered me. There was one time though he kind of uh tried to touch my chest so I just kind of backed away, he asked me if it was too fast, I said yea and he said it's cool and stopped. Then he tried again later, I didn't really know how to stop him but I tried and he stopped after a little. A while after I left, he texted me and said he had fun and asked if I did. I said yea but asked if we could take it a little slower. He said yea no problem my bad, and that he was also trying to show up his friend. That's probably not good even if he was telling the truth. I feel like I should give him another chance... cause I really do like him. But I don't think he likes me - I mean he's telling me he loves me but I know he definitely doesn't, he doesn't even know me that well. He says I'm hot and I think that's the only thing that matters to him, but at the same time I feel like there had to be a reason that I waited a year for this guy and then it turns out that he asks me out. I honestly don't even know how I feel about it... I think I should go see him again, but probably with more people this time, and see how it goes from there. I feel really bad about myself though, how fast that went... I've been upset the past few days and I lost my appetite almost completely. What am I going to do?
It seems like this guy only wants to have sex sex and more sex.
Next time you visit him, go with your friends. Talk with him and say that you don't wnana make out but just talk. If it revolves around sex, or he doesn't respect that and tries to kiss you , ditch him. Tell him that you'd rather just be friends and that you're not looking for a guy like him to be your boyfriend right now.
hope everything works well
15/female. i dont have a boyfriend even though i want one soo bad. i guess i get shy at times and thats why i dont have one. you know that young love kind of feeling i never had that and i think its because i have a father figure in mylife ..hes my protector and i love him very much but at times i cant stand him for the things he does and because i think it's his fault i never had a boyfriend. Dont get me wrong i'm very grateful for him. but when i was younger and boys wanted to go out with me i always felt i didnt need a boyfriend. now that im older and my hormones are doing what they do best i feel like i want a guy that i can be close with. but everytime i'm around a boy i like and he puts his arms around me memories come to me when i was little when my father use to hold me around the waist. or if i lean on a guys chest it's like when i was little when i use to lean on my fathers chest giving him a hug...does anybody know how i feel?? why do i feel this way??
i really want a boyfriend but i dont wanna act weird around him. and most guys usually just want to fuck me and im still a virgin so its really hard to have a good boyfriend unless we're probably friends first. but i have no actual boy friends:(
okay, first of all you don't need a boyfriend to survive. it's hard to find boys who are in it for the personality and fun and not just for the sex.
be yourself around guys and don't be shy. be bold and confident but not hyper and such.
when a guy puts his arms around you or lean on him, block out the memories and just enjoy it and talk.
and if guys just want to go out with you to pop your cherry, they're not worth it.
remember, you dont need a boyfriend. having guy friends is the best thing a girl can have =]
Sorry this is way longg. But id appreciate any help.
In the eighth grade i met my bestfriend. She was in the Seventh grade. Then i went to highschool & we never really talked anymore. only a little. When she finish Junior high she went to a different highschool then i did. Remember she was a real good girl & never did anything wrong. Seriously.
She lived with her grandmother & her dad. Wehn school let out for Christmas break she decided that she wanted to visit her mom & her grandmother didnt like that & kicked her out of the house. So she went & moved in with her mother. Well her mother has a son With a different guy. My bestfriend & her stepbrother(i think thats what he is) became veryyy attracted to eachother. As time went on they ended up having sex alot ( almost every night. & she would tell me herslef that she would have sex with him) Her stepbrother Had a girlfriend. i didnt tell her that it was veryy digusting & wrong that she was doign this.
School started up Again & she was starting at a new school. She got a boyfriend not long after starting at a new school. Not even a week after meeting him she already had sex with him.
School ended for summer & her mother, brother & she moved To another house 5 hrs away. She did her tenth Grade year at A different high school. She had plenty of boyfriends & had sex with another guy. & her brother Alot.
at the end of her tenth grade year her brother moved Across the states to cali. To live with his dad. & My friend didnt want to live in the house without him so she moved back with her grandmother.
Now that i told you her past. Now heres the present. Shes now in the 11 grade & at the school she sepnt the first part of her ninth grade at. She clomplety Blows me off & ignores me. She has this guy friend that i know That is in love with her. But hes not popular or cute. But shes really rude to him & it hurts him what she is doing with her life. She tells him that he is one of her bestfriends & even has it on her myspace.
This was my bestfriend for Two years & she changed her life around for the bad. Shes turned into this fake girl that only the guys like Because shes hot & skinny & they only want her for her body.
How do i tell this guy that he shouldnt let it bother him & how do i tell her she changed for the bad and Her realy friends hate her for changing like this?
Sorry againf or it being way long.
But anything you have to say is great.
I'm guessing that her parents are divorced and her relationship with adults are not going too well. She could be just getting into sexual activity as a way to escape from all the drama she has in her life.
But she has to know that when she does this, she's losing her respect for other guys while getting STDs and pregnancy. She can be addicted to sex later on in life and that's not a good thing.
And having sex with her stepbrother is wrong. They have the same blood in them (from their mother) and just plain out yuck.
And her reason for blowing you off it maybe be cause your parents are still together (i hope) maybe she's jealous because guys treat you nicely and not just for sex. In the end, she is probably envious/jealous of something you have that you may not realize.
And tell this guy that she is facing her drama in a way that she shouldn't. Even if he likes her, he should move and not be tied down to this girl that is way sexually active and is mean, rude, and nasty. She has chosen this as a way of life: sex, stds, pregnancy, etc. And I'm pretty sure that this is the way she relieves her stress and drama and that he shouldn't try to change that. He can say some things I just said above to her. Tell her that he cares about her and that she deserves more than guys who carry STDs.
Tell him that if this chick keeeps on hurting him, he has no reason to care for her. She wants him out of her life and he should respect that and move on.
I hope everything goes well for you, your friend, and that chick
me and my boyfriend have been going out for a while and he doesnt let me go and see my guy friends. and if i talk about another guy he gets really jealous. and if i bring up the subject he says if you were in my shoes you would understand. how do i tell him that he needs to be less protective and not as jealous without makeing him flip out??
well, it seems like he's possesive and gets jealous very easily. he doesn't seem to trust you when you want to see other guys friends.
Tell him this:
-You're my boyfriend for a reason and it's because I like you in this way and I don't like the other boys in this way
-Relationship builds up on trust and if you can't trust me to hang out with other guy friends, it's implying that you think I'm gonna cheat on you and you think I'm a dishnoest person
-You need to meet with my other guy friends and not get jealous. I won't ditch you for any of them.
-If I talk to you about other guy friends and you get jealous, I become confused. I'm talking about what they did and when I'm around them I talk about what you do for me that they can never do because they are not my byofriend
Do you get my point? Assure him with the fact that you'renot gonna cheat on him and that trust is a necessity in a relationship
Well, the other day I find out that my gf kristin has been cheating on me. So, I broke up with her n' went into my depressin' thing trying to forget about what happend. Then, yesterday I hang out with Maia and her cuz. Maia has had the BIGGET crush on me for the longest time, and as things turned out. We actually made out a cupple times. N' I met her cuz for the frist time that day and I started to really like her too. Maia said that she liked me also, and that she'd be happy if I dated either one of them. So that made me happy because I kinda have my pick ya know? But I get back home n' kristin's friend tells me that she hates the guy she cheated on me with. And before I went to bed she said in this nice calm "everything is going to be alright" type voice that we should talk in person (i dont get to see her that offten because of her parents) if we wanna still be together so... What should I do Advicenators? (Sorry that it's a bit long)
Forget about Kristin. She is now your ex for a reason and if you get back with her then you will have to go through that again. Trust me. Once they cheat, they'll cheat in the future. She's not worth you time.
Even though Maia said she'd be happy if you dated either her of her cuz, she still likes and and haveliked you for a long time. Usually when girls like guys, it's only for short periods of time. She seems to really like you and will be faithful and not cheat on you.
On the other hand, you don't know much about her cuz. Why don't you go out with Maia and see how that works out?
what are the best ways to learn the words to a song? and good tips??
i don't really try and learn the song. it just comes to me
what i do is i get the lyrics and sing along with the song. and then i put the lyrics down and try to sing it without looking at the lyrics. i hold it up to look at it when i'm having a majore blank out
just listen to the song a lot of times and sing along with the lyrics a couple of times. then put it down to see how much you've got in your head.
also write it down looking at the lyrics
when you're pretty confident you have most of it in your head, write it without looking at the lyrics and see how much tyou've imporved
I'm a girl and I just shaved my hair down there off. I used conditioner and went down first then went up. What should i use afterwards to keep it from itching?
too tell you the truth, it's sorta impossible
those hairs down there are thick and rough and when you shave them, they'll come out twice as fast THICKER. So it's gonna itch as it grows =X
If you want, you can get it waxed with some special wax that makes the hair smoother and softer but I'm betting that it will hurt like a b/tch.
=/
this might be gross but i really need you help. i have a bladder condition. its uncontrollable and when i go to the bathroom, 5 minutes later if im with friends, they probably would say something funny and i would pee my pants. i use all of my pad that i use for my peirod in my underwear when i am with my friends. its too embarrassing to tell my mom because she never notices. i can't go to my doctor because im too young and can't drive yet. idk what to do please help.
It seems that you have a bladder control problem. It's nothing to be ashmaed of. It may be a surprise to you but many people have that problem. Not just you.
There is a medicine that helps you control your bladder perscribed by the doctors.
You need to tell you parents about it and go to the doctors. I mean you do not want to be using pads everyday in your teenage life, do you?
I know it's rewally embaressing to tell your parents but it's not as embaressing if they found out for themselves.
you're not too young to be going to the doctor so go and get your perscription. I'm sure the doctor has something for you
Why has advicenators been deleting people who are 'fakes'? As in they are pretending to be someone else, with the picture in their column. I know that's pathetic, and they shouldn't be doing it, but..why worry about it? I thought this site was about giving advice, personally I don't think anyone's picture should even be considered in the removal of an account.
Using other person's picture could cause a legal matter [the pic\ture could've been copyrighted. Trust me, it's happened before]
Also if they use the other person's image and be giving out bad advice, when people come across the real person's column, they could get the wrong info.
And if you stole other person's picture, you're right then and there dishonest and this is not the site which needs dishonest people.
im going to a new school this yearthis year. i've been in a catholic/private school since i was 3 years old. now i am going into eighth grade and im switching to a public school. i don't know what it will be like. i know a few kids there but i don't know if people will make fun of me since i new or whatever is going on. please help. i am 13 and f.
New schools. I'm experienced at that. I switched schools 5 times when I was little. Then I moved to another country when I could speak NO ENGLISH. So that was hard. And Then I moved here to the USA and could speak little enligsh and I felt left out.
When you go to the new school, have fun and enjoy it.
The fact that you went to a catholic school may cause some talk among the people but ignore them. Walk around the school with the people you know and meet new people!
Be bold and confident and don't hold back. Don't be shy and hold back. If people won't come up to you, you go up to them and introduce yourself.
Steer away from the bad crowds. If people bug, annoy, spread rumors about you, just tell people calmly that it's not true and no more. If you do say something back, they'll use that to twist it into some wicked form to say something nasty about you [again].
Some people [weirdly] think ALL catholic/private school girls are nasty sluts etc etc. Don't give into that and hold up your self image =]
I hope you havefun and enjoy 8th grade =]
I have had discharge for a very long time. About two day ago I started getting some werid brown stuff on my underware am I getting my period or is it an infection or something?
Yay it's the joyous [hint the sarcams] day when you're finally going to be starting your period!
It's not an infection and it's porbably the start of your period. Carry around pads and tampos when you go outsde the house and a pair of underwear so you won't be stranded in the middle of the store with bloodstained pants =X
But if the brown stuff [little bits of it keep coming out] continues for more than a week, I suggest you tell your mom about it and go to a doc to see if it's alright =>
Enjoy one of the gifts nature has send to us =/
ok i know this is bad but my bf is 20 and im 13 but im vietnamese and i went over there and thats where i met him apparently age doesnt matter over there but now im back here and he lives over there which sucks but every1 says hes using me but he says he wants to marry me when im 18 which im not sure about yet since im just 13 but i dont know what to believe or what to do about the distance i can only see him once a year and i can only talk to him like once a month i dont know what to do should i keep going out w/ him? and i dont know if hes using me or not but i love him alot ahh im soo confused help!
Sweetie, where did you meet this guy? In the US that is illegal and he can easily turn into a child molester if you guys do anything sexual before you turn 18.
You're 13. You have a whole life ahead of you and to be tied down to one guy that is much older than you is pointless. And don't say you love him because you probably haven't experienced what true love is.
I mean if I was a 13 year old like you and had a twenty year old guy saying I love you, marry me when you turn 18, it would scare the sh/t out of me. I wouldn't let the friendship escelate to anything higher.
Love is a lot of commitment and marriage is a bigger one. Age may not matter to you now but think about why he wants you. You live far away from each other. Where you guys live is far away from each other.
You need to break this off before it gets "serious". Since you onlt see him once a year and talk to him once a month, you don't know much about this guy. I mean what does he do while you guys don't talk? Is he sayin the turth? Have you met his friends or [maybe] even family? How do you know this guy is the real deal?
For all you know, he could be lying about EVERYTHING since you don't even live or talk with him often. You can't verify that everything he says is the truth. He could be just luring you in to have sex [even rape if you're unwilling] with him.
I say break if off right now and tell him that you're not ready for the kind of commitment he's thinking of. You're only 13 honey so don't be tied down to one guy that could be lying to you.
How do you deal with a friend who is clingy and annoying and gets on your last nerve?She can be nice sometimes but she says the most annoying things that really bug you. I do not want to hurt her feelings.She is also spoiled rotten and makes the biggest deals over things. Please I need advice. Should I tell her the truth and wreak friendship or should I do something else?
I have the same problem but turn the annoying part up a notch. She's a scene and gets mad if she doesnt get her way and has to have every thing meet to her need [even at my brithday party]
Those kind of friendship takes a lot of work and personally, I coulnd't make it work so I've gradually decreased my contact with her.
I'm not saying you to do it. If you want, do it at your own risk. It's hard to make friendships work smoothly with people like her.
Why don't you try this: Act the way she does. If she insults you in a joking way, make the biggest deal out of it. When she says she has to go like on AIM or something say that she doesnt care about you. Just act the way she does for a week[s] and that is bound to get on HER nerves. Ask her how she felt and tell her that is how you feel in the friendship
So, I have pubic hair and discharge. I don't have arm-pit hair, why? My mom says it will come after I start but I don't know when I will. I'm 14 and that's when my mom started so when will I?
&&hearts
Everyone starts their period at different times and you're lucky you haven't started yet.
Since you're starting to get discharges you should be starting soon so if school starts anytime soon and you still havent started, make sure to bring around pads or tampons to school.
Since your mom stared around 14, you probably will too.
And about the armpit hair. It usually grows because of your perspiration and too keep your skin from rubbing against each other making it painful sometimes when you sweat
Don't worry about it and hope you can put a stop on your period for a while =X
Hehe, it's another part of nature =]
i eat way to much all the time. like im not overweight or anything but i know it will cetch up to me sooner or later so i jsut need ways to stop eating so much & thinking about food all the time.
when you want to eat, pick up a book, use the cpu, or do something to keep you distracted. even esercise.
brush your teeth right after each meal because it will lower your urge to eat since toothpaste and food doesnt taste too pretty.
when you eat meals, eat only a set amount. dont get a second plate or heap your plate a mile high iwth food.
b/w breakfast and lunch/lunch and dinner, eat a healthy snack like fruits or veggies (only a small proportion) it wil help you resist seconds plates
eat slowly and take at least 20min since it takes 20min for your brain to aknowledge the food in your body and to tell you when you're full.
when you're full, don't eat anymore even if theres food left on the plate.
Okay. I'm 16/f and I want to get a vibrator. The problem is, I'm afraid to get one because I'm scared my mom will find it and I would be SO EMBARRASSED if that happened!! Am I too young to get one? If not, where should I put it (maybe in another room in the house?) where there's no chance of her finding it? FYI- she sometimes comes in my room and starts cleaning out my drawers/closet because she thinks they're so cluttered, so I'm not sure that's a good place to put it.
it will be a huge embrassment if your mom found it. buying it is harder because you have to go into the shop and have to buy it. since yu're 16 and can drive, drive down to a store with sunglasses and hat buy one, run out of there.
the hiding matter...hmmm i'm not sure because idk what your house layout is like. at my house i know places tht my family doesn know exist so i hide my diaries and such in those places...
hi. i am a 15/f. tomorrow i am going to a party for a guy that i have never met but i want to make a good impression so that him and his friends like me. im going with my best friend who is friends with all of them, its just that i have never met them before. i want them to like me really bad so that sometime in the future they might like me as more than a friend. i dont know how to make a good first impression. can anyone give me some tips?
NUMBER ONE RULE
be yourself.
if you try and form into a a mold the boy made that you want to impress you'll:
1)make a fool of yourself in fron to f your ff
2)make the worst first impression
you should be yourself and be casual and flirt if you wish. be fun and spontenous [sp?]
don't be dull by complaining or talking about one subject for on and on and on. ask the boy about himself cuz hey which boy doesnt like talking about himself.
before you leave, yo should ask him for him number or sn just to make sure you'll keep in touch with him if you want
have fun =]