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an older guy
ok i know this is bad but my bf is 20 and im 13 but im vietnamese and i went over there and thats where i met him apparently age doesnt matter over there but now im back here and he lives over there which sucks but every1 says hes using me but he says he wants to marry me when im 18 which im not sure about yet since im just 13 but i dont know what to believe or what to do about the distance i can only see him once a year and i can only talk to him like once a month i dont know what to do should i keep going out w/ him? and i dont know if hes using me or not but i love him alot ahh im soo confused help!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Well this is just my opinion, but if you only get to see him once a year, then you won't actually get to know true love, and you probably shouldn't marry him unless you trully love him, and that should be in a long time, but you could just be wasting your time with him, you never get to see him, and there are so many other guys out there for you!
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Please stop dating him.. He is just gonna trick you into sex next time he sees you..and that is not good you don't wanna be raped...seriously so try and endit.
sup4321
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let me blunt..using you maybe not, but honestly do you want to wait five years..never date guys around where you live not experience the dances and kissing after school...Hes 20 and your 13..7 year difference so now think about college i hope you will decide to go and when you do. Do you want to have on your 3rd year of college a 30 yearold come to your dorm room. Im 16 and ive dated older as well..Ive dated an 18 yearold for a year when i was 14 to 15 so 4 years difference. my first kiss was with a 17 yearold when i was 13. So its not like i cant understand i udnerstand theres no difference really. The age thing is only a minor part of why i say you should dump him. there are many great guys out there some even your age and there are benifits to dating your age. Im sorry i hope i wasnt to blunt. :) always ask if you want mroe advice...Ive lived every relationship possible
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I usually say that age doesnt matter but your hell to young for this.DUH hes using you,how can you not see that?He wants to marry you when your 18 thats FIVE years from now,how do YOU know youre going to be with him next FIVE years???And besides,hes only using you cuz he wants something to brag about to his freinds.No offence but what makes you think hes going to leave other 20 year old chicks with gorgeous,completely developed bodies and go to you?And what makes it WORSE is that he sees you ONCE a year!How do you know hes not looking at some other chick??Hes using you cuz he likes it when a lot of girls like him,he likes the attention.Hes saying that he wants to marry you when your 18 so he can get you to like him for another FIVE YEARS and then when the time FINALLY comes and your 18 hell be like,sorry im seeing someone eles,you were never there for me and i barely got to see you.Im telling you,dump him now and be hurt for a couple of months better than having HIM dump YOU after 5 years and youll take more than a YEAR to get over this.He might seem like an angel and all honest but people are NOT the way they seem,especially in YOUR circumstances.NEVER judge a book by its cover.
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first thing; i do believe in love at a young age because when you are young and experience love, it is the most magical feeling in the world. even when you are older. but, when you experience it for the first time, most of the time it is when you are young. so, i can understand that. you can talk to me about this problem or any other. just send me a message :)
you can look at this two ways. i totally understand that different
places have different cultures. while here, in the united states, it might be illegal, there are places where these kinds of things are the normal things. there are places where when you about 9 years old, they marry you off with a fourty something year old man. now, i think that i truly gross. i'm sorry, but i wouldn't want to be in their position. however, you are not nine and he is not fourty of fifty years old. so, you can see it as something that is cultural. over there, the culture does not consist in caring about things like that how it is emphasized here in the US
you could also see it in another perspective. he could be a crazy phsyco maniac. some people are sick in their head. all they think about is sex and who they can have sex with. while some people are just crazy rapists that will get you on the floor and just do it, there are people that actually plan this stuff out and have strategies about how they will do it. they decide to lure girls in with charms. they figure that if they can sweet talk us, they might be able to get something out of us. so, we always have to know our place, as women
so, if you want to, you can continue talking to him over the internet or something and just talk to him. just have a conversation with him and if you see a crazy rapist in him, then i suggest that you back off fast! you should not be under these situations. your happiness is important and you should treat it like if it were gold. so, you have to think about what makes you happy
hope i helped
*muaz*
xoxo
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Sweetie, where did you meet this guy? In the US that is illegal and he can easily turn into a child molester if you guys do anything sexual before you turn 18.
You're 13. You have a whole life ahead of you and to be tied down to one guy that is much older than you is pointless. And don't say you love him because you probably haven't experienced what true love is.
I mean if I was a 13 year old like you and had a twenty year old guy saying I love you, marry me when you turn 18, it would scare the sh/t out of me. I wouldn't let the friendship escelate to anything higher.
Love is a lot of commitment and marriage is a bigger one. Age may not matter to you now but think about why he wants you. You live far away from each other. Where you guys live is far away from each other.
You need to break this off before it gets "serious". Since you onlt see him once a year and talk to him once a month, you don't know much about this guy. I mean what does he do while you guys don't talk? Is he sayin the turth? Have you met his friends or [maybe] even family? How do you know this guy is the real deal?
For all you know, he could be lying about EVERYTHING since you don't even live or talk with him often. You can't verify that everything he says is the truth. He could be just luring you in to have sex [even rape if you're unwilling] with him.
I say break if off right now and tell him that you're not ready for the kind of commitment he's thinking of. You're only 13 honey so don't be tied down to one guy that could be lying to you.
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whoa. thats not even legal babe. but anyways thats a very big age difference. but only talking to him once a month isnt a very good relationship. & only seeing him once a year is not good at all. he could be cheating on you over there & youd never know.& getting married. well that is sooo far away from now. i would break it off & then see if you can see him more if you really do love him. but for the time being i would just let him go. thats so much stress for a 13 year old. hope i helped<3
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Well hes 20, and your 13! Thats 7 years, kind of a big gap. And you only see him once a year? And only talk to him once a month? You don't know what the hell he is doing over there, he probably IS cheating on you, hopefully not though. And he wants to marry you in 5 years.? You are going to be 18 and hes going to be 25. You are going to be a wild party girl teenager and you are stuck with a 25 year old who will want to start a family and stuff. I think you should break up with him. They're PLENTY of cute vietnamese guys here *your age*. You will be alot happier in longterm.
hope i helped =]
Jess
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do what your heart feels is riqht. if you dont see yourself with him in the future then dump him but if you look at yourself when your 18 &+ see your self with him stay :] follow your heart not your brain.
dont believe what other people are tellinq you. i like a 17 year old &+ im 13 almost 14 & hes qoinq to be 18 in march. Everyone tells me stuff about him but we have a ahmazinq realationship so i`ll just ask him about it.
keep qoinq stronq.
♥ tiffanie
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Well, I dont really know if hes using you. Since you haven't said anything that would really sugest that, and you did say that age dosen't matter there but, if you can't talk to him that offten, or see him almost at all then maybe you should break up with him untill you can. You say you "love" him but, most people your age throw around that word too much. I know I did. Just wait untill you're a bit older. Then try and figure things out
-BlackBatman-
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