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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
advice
13/m
So today i finally asked the girl i liked! She said she wanted to go out with me. But my class is really immature with relations, and so shes scared they will all be making fun of us, since we will be the only couple in the class... My question is what should i tell her or what should i tell her to forget what others think about us and care what i think about her? thnx for all the answers!
At your age
25% of 12-year-old and 37% of 13-year-old males had been in a romantic relationship.
27% of 12-year-old and 34% of 13-year-old females had been in a romantic relationship. So I am surprised to hear that you would be the only one dating a girl.
Please also know that most romantic relationships among 12- to 14-year-olds last less than 5 months. So to push her and try to convince her, risking her being emotionally stressed all for such a short time of 'going out with each other' is not worth it.
Now let me explain what I see as 'going out'. A couple agrees on what they are going to do as they spend time together, going out to dinner, going to the theme park, going bike riding, swimming, cuddling while watching movies and can but not necessarily include starting a sexual relationship. This couple goes out alone.
At your age, is the time to learn more about girls and how they think and feel about things in life and so on. So it is a good idea for you to spend time with her...but it doesn't have to happen at school which is where I bet most so called "going together" occurs. Find out how open your parents and her parents are to having you invite a friend from school over. If your male friends already come to your house to hang, then it shouldn't be a big stretch for your parents to accept a friend who is a female. Just so the parents don't freak, call her a friend who is a girl but not a girlfriend like dating. Having parents who will include her on invites on the weekend to family events like a picnic, bar-b-que, a family bike ride is a good way to be spending time together with a girl and the parents are there to help be guidance and chaperones...which makes them feel more comfortable, and your lady friend will be more comfortable because the kids at school dont have to know. Once the kids in your grade level are into going together as couples, then the best way to do so is as a group. You shouldd wait until your a bit older for dating alone. It will vary from one parent to another because they know their childs maturity level. Some can be ready at 15, some not til 17. And even then it is still difficult because young adults brains don't fully mature until they reach their mid 20's. If your parents know you openly share everything with them, and you ask their opinion or advice like you are asking here, with the open communication, theres a chance they can learn to trust you at an earlier age. Good luck on spending time with your girl
My mom doesn't get it. All she does it put me down calling me ungrateful, stupid, and sometimes tell me to shut up. I wish she were a little more understanding. I've been to so many school counselors for advice and they just referred me to family counseling- in which now I have a case worker but I feel like there's no progress. My case worker then referred me and my mom to a psychologist.
When I got my report card a few months back, my mom flipped when I failed one class and saw that I was late or didn't even go to school. I was scared for the new quarter to come in the mail since I was still going to school late but I was failing three. I mentioned this worry to my psychologist on Saturday and she helped me break it down to my mom. In that same session, I was referred to a psychiatrist so that I can recieve an antidepressant.That same day she recieved the grades in our mail box but didnt say anything whatsoever. Sometimes she doesnt say a word, but other times she has too much to say/yell to me about. I wish she understood me. I was a 93 average student yet now I am a barely passing sophomore, failing 3 classes this marking period. Its like every time I push myself out there and try to get motivated, I feel like I fail more and more. When I miss school, it's so I can catch up but every time I enter school, Im even more behind due to absences. I was a motivated bright girl with a good future ahead of me. It were as if my depression took over my entire life and is controling as if I were a puppet controlled by strings. I miss the old me. I want to be good again, having healthy emotions but my world doesn't have a sun anymore, for its a cave of darkness closing in on me.
at some point something changed for your mom in her life...something very devastating to cause her to feel she has to dump on you. At one time she didnt treat you this way or you would have been affected all along in school.
From how you tell your story and express yourself, I get the feeling you are very intelligent and that you are not the problem unless
you have begun hanging with the bad kids
got into taking drugs
or too distracted by the ups and downs of datiing relationships.
No person can function well under that kind of stress, verbal abuse and lack of unconditional love.
Your depression is not because of you but because of how you've been treated. Once the bad treatment your receiving stops your depression will stop and there are ways to naturally get your brain producing the serotonin its low on when depressed. So I am guessing you dont need to be on meds for the rest of your life.
Where is dad in all this? Do you have one or not?
Do any other relatives know of the situation?
Do you have siblings and if so how are they treated. I can realy only guess. If you wish to explain more I could try to discern more of what is happening. The professionals can't help moore because they are taught only treat one aspect of a human not all. A good healer looks at the physical, the spiritual, mental and emotional to see how to treat the whole. And besides that, they seem to be focusing only on you, not the whole family unit. If there is a rotten apple in the bushel, it will eventually affect the other apples.
What do i do when many girls give me their phone numbers?
Laughing because my nephew had many girls calling him starting in junior high. I remember his popularity. It wasn't so much about his looks although he's a good looking kid now graduated from HS with a steady girlfriend. It was more about how he treated all the girls. He wanted to genuinely be friends with them without acting like a player or wanting to pressure girls for sex.
My question to you is: What kind of guy do you think they see in you?.
maybe they like you because you seem to be respectful to girls and treat them just the same as you would your buddies so they see friendship with you as a way to learn more about what boys are like in a safe setting...as friends, buddies.
If you are this kind of guy, you know it.
What is it you want at this point? If just friends, ask those giving you their numbers, if they are looking for a friend or a boyfriend because right now you want just friends.
If you really want to find a girl to date, ask the girls again are you looking for a friend or a guy to date you? If they want to be friends, let them know you are more in the dating mode right now to discover first what you like in a girl. If they say they want a boyfriend to date, this is the best way to learn about females, what you like and don;t like because it will help someday when or if you go looking for a mate. Tell them you are still trying to learn what you like in females and believe you can learn that just as well as a friend or buddy without the going on dates and being exclusive with one person.
Those are examples and I know you'll figure out what to say in your own words. Steer away from dating at first and discover first what you like in personality in girls and then later date the ones with personality traits you like and from them choose the one you want to explore sex with or if you already have, learn more about what you like in a sex partner.
Lucky you that they are offering their numbers but don;t just accept them without your explanation first. Always be upfront with the females and even though they might not be happy that you aren't picking them to start an exclusive, going steady relationship with, they will at least respect you. Don't make any promises you might not be able to keep. Oh and its okay to do group stuff. Lets say you wanna go out to pizza Saturday and then hang out at the mall with friends, call a couple guy friends and a group of girls to go so maybe theres 8 of you in the group. Let the girl being invited know you are inviting a group of girls and guys so they know its not just you and her. If she accepts, go on to the next til you have your group. Nephew did lots of group stuff hanging with friends girls and guys. Hope that helps
I don't know how to fix my family. We have a 23 yr old son who has aspergers and my husband refuses to understand anything about him. We were joking around the other day and then we were going to go on a walk when my son sat down to put his shoes on the dog jumped in his lap. My husband went over and took the dog by the scruff and the dog yelped so when he tried to move the dog again my son put his arm up and was going to put the dog down himself but my husband wouldn't let him and kept swatting his arm down. My husband then shoved my son and he hit his head into the wall. My son left the house for the night and I said my husband needed to apologize but he says its my house I can do what I want and he isn't going to stop me. I see it as my son was sticking up for the dog and he says it was disrespect. My husband has hurt the dog in the past so we are always wondering if that is what is happening when we hear the dog cry. How do I get him to apologize to his son?
Getting him to apologize is the least of your issues.
For one thing, it's hard to see when we are in the situation, because we make excuses for our partner. I was there. I had a husband with an anger problem. In 30 years he never improved.
How do you babysit a 1 year old girl? She is my sister, and she loves me ( :) ) but I have a problem with making her listen to me. How can I make her listen to 'no'?
Her mind isn't developed at the point to use reasoning and rules by just talking to and having her listen to you.
What works best is distraction. If she is opening cupboards and pulling things out that she shouldn't. Grab a cooking pot and turn it over, get a wooden stirring spoon to beat on it with. Start by doing it yourself, she take notice and want to do the same. They learn by copying at this stage. She likely grab the spoon out of your hand and bang away. and now you can put the cupboard back to order. Thats one example of distraction. You'll be busy doing a lot of distracting.
Why does my dad hate me, and how can I get him to love me?
You haven't given enough information for us to really be able to give the best advice. Until I know more, I'd say, go talk to your mom and tell her how you feel and ask her for suggestions.
I don't know what to get my mom for mother's day I don't have any money to buy her anything this year and I don't know how to cook so it's not like I can cook supper for her and my mom is allergic to almost everything that is scented so I don't want to go that route either. Does anybody have any ideas? oh and I did the coupon book for her last year you know homemade coupon books .
Darn, I was going to suggest a coupon book.
Well, here's something different, a spa day for mom. Whether you're female or male it can be done. There are many male beauticians and I know quite a few husbands who paint their wives toenails.
If you want to keep the details secret and surprise mom, enlist the help of friends moms. When you tell them why, they will be more than happy to lend you stuff to use and give instructions.
It will work best if mom can be lying down on a bed head at the foot of it where you can easily access her. Something higher like a massage table or a sturdy rectangle dining table would work. You may want to enlist help from dad. Pad it with thick blankets to make it comfortable to lie on face up. Use a lawn trash bad for plastic protectiion against any dipping messes and have towels over the plastic.
Focus on moms head and hands. Using your fingertips massage moms scalp and work over to using thumbs to move outward from middle of forehead out. Do each step for a while at least a full minute. Rotate thumbs or finger at each temple in circles. Get a clean washcloth dip it in hot water and place on her face, as it cools repeat a couple of times. Read on line for all sorts of inspiration. There is such a thing as good hair conditioning treatments using things from the kitchen. Two raw eggs at room temp, beaten with a tablespoon oil added can be massaged into the hair and left to sit for 20-30 minutes before being rinsed out in shower. The eggs give much needed protein to the hair and the oil gives it shine. You will want to apply a mask to her face as part of spa treatment. Check online for " homemade facial masks ". And if you have cucumber at home, one slice of cucumber laying on each closed eye has benefits too..can't remember what. If a friends mom has ideas for a mask to massage into her face and will just give you some, all the more easy. While moms hair is sitting with conditioner and face with a mask on, nows the time to work on the hands. I will leave that to you to research online or get help from friends.
This is enough to get you started. I'll bet this would be a gift she'll never forget for the rest of her life.
Hey. I'm feeling really bad about what happened in athletics today. My friend and I were angry at the coach because she never picks us to play or says something like "Too bad deal with it" when one of us is sick or injured. My friend's name is Leah. She is known to have seizures. I just happened to have a strobe light on my ipod. She told me to let her see is so the coach would start respecting us. I told her no that it was a bad idea, but she grabbed it out of my pocket and turned it on. She was having a silent seizure and I thought she was faking it because she had in the past. I was laughing at her, but after a few minutes, I noticed it was real. I panicked and told the coach then ran out of the building due to fear and embarrasment. Now the other girls say mean things about me and I got kicked off the team.
I would think that your friend with her condition already knew to stay away from your strobe light. I was at a party where a lady made an announcement, "If you want to take pictures, please let me know so I can leave the room first because a camera flash is enough to put me into seizures every time."
So this is not your fault. Your classmates seing you run out of the building at that time made assumptions based on what they saw and just guessed that you did something but likely have no clue what it was. And in any case, you did not DO something. Your friend Leah did. Hopefully this will be a good experience from her to learn by. You might mention the camera flash to her too.
Her faking seizures is like the story of the Kid who cried Wolf. Its not your fault for not taking her seriously because of her goofing around about a very serious subject. She set up this situation herself by her faking in the past. Hopefully your friend will also learn from it. If she ever tries to fake it again, I would remind her that it is not a nice thing to do to someone else and could jeorpardize her own life.
Your coach jumped to conclusions too by kicking you off the team. Have your parents talk to him/her.
Do your parents know anything about Leah? Do you talk about her to them? My oldest daughter gave me a run down every once in a while of how things were going with her friends and occasionally I could see a problematic pattern starting and could point it out and offer solutions. If your parents knew of her faking seizures, I would think they'd have taken that seriously and thought to point out that perhaps she shouldnt be doing that. If I was your mom and I knew Leahs, moom, i'd have been on the phone as one mom to another to let her know what her kid was doing...not to get her in trouble. It's kids just being silly and playing around but because of our having more life experience as adults, sometimes we can see a potential problem coming before it hits.
18/f, freshman in college. I asked this question before but I don't think I was very clear on some things. So, there is this anonymous page for my college on facebook, where you can go on and post who you think is cute, who you'd date, who you would like to get to know better.. that kinda thing. I posted one for this kid in my english class that I think is cute. All of his friends commented on it trying to guess who posted it for him. He commented "Okay, whose the son of a bitch? haha." I think that he thinks one of his guy friends posted it as a joke. Well, he deleted that comment than he posted, "come forward, person who wrote this." As I read that, I was thinking that I want to tell him it was me. But, I want to message him privately on facebook so all of his track and field friends don't see it. Or, me post it on the post for him to comment back that he doesn't feel the same. So, my first question is, do you think it would be weird for me to privately message him and tell him that it was me?
Secondly, I was going through his facebook a little bit and I saw that two months ago, he posted that he was celebrating his two year anniversary with his girlfriend. However, I am not facebook friends with either of them so I cannot see if they are still together. Plus, I don't know why he would ask for the person that posted the status about him to come forward, if he already had a girlfriend. So, my second question is, do you think that I should still tell him, even if he might have a girlfriend?
Thank you!
I remember you. I answered last time. Since its possible he initially thought his friends were playing a prank, I can see him being at least curious since he changed his comment just in case it was a girl who wrote. That means he wants to know who it is so contact him.
What he does once he knows its you, thats entirely up to him. If he is not really into a girl but just dating around, that would leave him feeling open to date one girl exclusively if he has some interest in her and they really hit it off.
The dating period in our lives is a time to learn what it is that we like in a person of the opposite sex and we may have to date several different people to get a clearer picture. Just because a person is dating someone does not mean they have found the right person yet. Think of the movie, "The Notebook." Good example.
If you can get him chatting with you on facebook, take that time to ask lots of questions about him getting to know some things about him. I am sure instinct will tell you what to do at that point. If you need more advice, just write in again. Good luck!
So I will attempt to make this as short as possible. I am 21/female and have been in a relationsip for about 2 years and 3 months.
I specifically asked for an older persons take on my situation because I believe the limitations of my age and lack of experience in the dating scene/relationships to be my problem.
I am also looking for a level of profundity in the advice because it is an issue I have thought about for a long time.
Now I would like some sort of advice on what the best thing for me to do in order to try and repair my current situation. My number one problem is that my relationship is not at all where I want it to be but I am having problems letting go of it. This is because I love the man I am with, I respect him as a person and I like his qualities and personality. It is something I want in a partner and I have not been able to find in anyone else so far. Now the issue is in our compatibility. We are very opposite which initially made for a very passionate relationship, and that passion is still there today, except in a very different way. It is all mostly negative. We argue about everything and the hostility has taken over the love in my oppinion. I can no longer just ignore it and hope it goes away.
We fight and challenge each other daily on any little thing, and we both have problems addmiting defeat, so it is never ending. It has reached a point where we are hostile towards one another so even things that we may not mean to come out in a bad way are interpreted as such. And I know we both do it beacause I notice it. But neither of us wants to break up or let each other go. He has told me many times he wants to end up with me, but Im starting to doubt wether this is possible.
My question is wether or not this issue is fixable? Is it possible once youve reached the point of there being more negatives in your relationship than good to overcome it? I know that you need to try and add more good to the relationship to counteract the bad but I am not sure if we are at a point where that is no longer possible since we both expect bad from one another and so thats what we get? Lately most attempts at kindness and doing nice things even turn out bad, and even when there is a good moment it still doesnt feel as good as it should because we both know how bad things have been
Has anyone had any experience with this? Is this fixable at all? I am just wondering if investing any more time/effort in this is worth it. And just to give a little perspective we have been through a lot of both amazing and terrible experiences in the past two years so we have a strong connection even though we havent been together for that long. This is what makes letting go hard.
Thanks so much for taking the time to answer, some advice would be of great help.
As to whether investing more time is worth the effort I believe you already doubt it is. From my life experience it is not worth it. I am not saying that doing so means you are discarding a person like discarding dirty clothes. You really need to think of yourself first...it is not a selfish thing to do. You have to be able to love yourself first before being able to love another. So this means considering what is a healthy lifestyle, foods, environment for example and yes relationship too.
The key to figuring it out is quite simple. Does the other person weaken you? Do you weaken him?
We should not be changing who we are to be more pleasing to a partner. In the long run, we become unhappy because we have lost ourselves and sometimes don't know how to get back, and the partner can lose respect for us because they know we are really a false persona and they truly want the real thing. We tend to stay with someone who is not right for us, because we are afraid we won't be able to find anyone better. After leaving ex husband of 30 years, I started dating and found with each guy someone better than the one before, because I was becoming better at spotting the traits in a man that would weaken me. Hanging out with this guy will rob you of the experience of learning how to see the traits you don't want. Back away from men like that and you likely will back accidently into the right man
This question has probably been asked before, but why do you think there is this need for men and women to play stupid power games with eachother?
There are a ton of books out there on dating advice meant for both men and women, and recently I read one of each just out of curiosity to expand my knowledge of what these dating "experts" are saying. Guess what? The advice in both of the books was exactly the SAME. Only flipped.
"Dont be the nice guy/girl because women/men get bored of the nice person and you wont be able to keep them"
"Dont bring her flowers/cook him dinner, because they will only see you as a pushover"
"Dont be the one to call first"
"Let them wonder where you are and what you are doing"
"Make them wait"
"play the game, be a CHALLENGE"
And these are supposedly the secrets to healthy relationships?
It is ridiculous how men and women are taught to play these games in order to gain control of the other person and the relationship. But this is really messed up. Why does this psychological mind trick theory supposedly work on people?
Ive always thought relationships are about love, openess, communication, undertanding, and kindness. You are with someone because you like who they are, and you want to be kind to them and them be kind to you. This is what love is about, not who is the one in control of the relationship.
The truth is that people are too different to be able to categorize them and generally say "men like bitches, women like jerks"
I know girls that will only date nice guys, guys that do everything for them, guys that are gentlemen and are not afraid that they will look imasculine if they give in to a girl.
I also know girls that will mostly date jerks. Or just girls that will date any type of guy as long as they are attracted to them.
I also know guys that will only date nice girls, girls willing to do things for them, and then I know guys that will date "b****es" because they like a woman who is in control.
I have never been interested in a guy, only to lose interest if he calls me the next day or seems to eager. I have never looked down on a man for doing a nice thing, on the contrary. And even though some girls would take advantage, I know plenty that wont. So why do men and women do this back and forth i care i dont care, im just trying to mess with you because I dont want to get hurt thing?
Isnt acting in this way going to eventually teach women that all men are jerks and men that all women are b****es? What do you think?
I agree with you...all you read is a bunch of BS.
I don't like the nice or naughty image they say you have to choose.
There is balance in life, yin/yang, good/bad. And there should be balance in a relationship with both parties putting in maximum effort to make it the 'Happily ever after" we dream of.
I'll start with naughty. In a healthy relationship, naughty is the wrong word to use. The right words to describe characteristics both would be wise to have is: creativeness, playfulness, roleplaying, fun teasing, flirting, doing something out of character for a good laugh for you both or to entice sexually. Thats the kind of thing that people are really looking for but just don't know it. My life examples, always wearing pantys in public except for a few occasions I'm out with my husband, wearing a dress seated at a restaurant table with friends. I take his hand and place it on my leg, If he doesnt go exploring, I then push his hand up under until he discovers I am not wearing anything. The look on your loves face then is precious! I go bralesss these days. We could be doing housework together and all of a sudden, I pull my top up flashing him quickly. He takes a break from cleaning to play with my breasts and we return to finishing our tasks. Its things like that will make us look forward eagerly to when we have time to make love. Oh and sometimes I start role playing in love making, "Come to me my Son. Mummy has need of your big strong cock." I swear the boy in him surfaces and all of a sudden he is more energetic. He will do his version also of flirting, teasing, walking around with only a top on and as soon as he catches me looking at him will waggle his cock at me with a sexy smile. Stuff like that and way more erotic are the Spice of a healthy relationship. It is not naughty...it is vital for a vibrant sex life.
On the nice side: Treat your partner the way you'd like to be treated. Love unconditionally. Don't raise your voice or yell. Do special things for each other...like one is up at the time, "Can I get you anything in the kitchen? Giving full attention to, having your mind in the present, really listening to. Find ways to support each others strengths so they feel free to blossom in whatever it is they do well.
After leaving a bad marriage, when I wanted to find a guy like that, it wasn't working in just running into someone like that, so we both tried internet dating and thats how we found each other. The stuff I wrote is criteria I put in profile that the guy I am looking for must meet, besides being my spiritual and sexual equal. Never settle for someone who weakens who you are, where you have to change who you are to meet their expectations. Well, many men wrote saying I was too critical and picky and would never find a guy. They just were too lazy to becoome a Real man. But the right one will not be offended by your strict requirements but be glad to come before you and show you that he is indeed the one for you.
Hope this gives you some encouragment. Those of us who 'have a clue' seem to be in the minority but we're out there.
20/f
I've never been able to reach orgasm during intercourse, but I still get really turned on and enjoy it. However, I started seeing a guy and we recently had sex for the first time. We've hooked up twice since and each time, it hurts really bad. He's definitely the largest guy I've ever been with but I don't want to get discouraged and assume that because of his size, it will always hurt this bad. We spend quite a bit of time on foreplay and I think that I get really wet, and I do everything I can think of to just relax... but my reflexes stop him everytime he pushes in too deep. We've also tried different positions and the only one that really works is with him on top because that way I can't stop him from pushing all the way in. He turns me on so much but I don't know how to make this more enjoyable!
It sounds like he's just too big for you. A couple of times I was with guys too big for me, I agree, it is very painful. What happens is that the cock rams to one or other side of the cervix and hits a nerve that causes instant pain not only around the area of impact but a horribly strong charlie horse cramping running down the leg. Maybe it felt different to you but either way the sex is not going to be pleasant, no matter how handsome he is, or how much chemistry there is. I was limited to only one position (spooning entering from behind) with my sex partner and still he had to be slow and careful, That takes all the fun and creativity and variety out of sex. Since a healthy sex life is one of the things important in a relationship, I can't see this lasting long. Why? At some point you will begin to push him away because you're still sore from last time while at the same time not having your sexual urges taken care of and you might be thinking of seeing other guys for sex while with him. He will be frustrated for not being able to do everything he wants sexually and having sex with women who can take larger cocks are going to sound pretty tempting to him.
So i saw this girl at a festival, and she was really cute. She is in another school, and i'll see her at a volleyball tournament, i know how to start a conversation but not how to continue, any advice how to continue a conversation, and what girls like to talk about? something that will make them interested in?
Ohhh...you are soo wonderful and refreshing to hear from. The first guy I've seen write who's in school and who gets it that it is important to have conversations with and befriend a girl and find out what she likes.
I'm way older so I'll have to think of what my girls had interests in when in school. Girls are interested in how they look and everything that goes along with it. Girls like going to the mall these days, trying things on and then taking pics with their phones to have a memory of it cus they can't afford to buy everything they like. Hair and makeup and nails are part of it. Thats foreign stuff to you unless you have sisters. It would take one brave guy to volunteer to go wandering the mall with her. It might work. If she lingers a bit long over a particular item of clothing, suggest she go try it on and show it off for you. So when she steps out of the dressing room you ooo and ahh over it, Unless to good but you suggest in another color and if one is better than the other, tell her which one you like her in better, maybe it makes her eye color stand out or a certain style makes her look older.
So next, the girls loved sharing with friends quotes from favorite shows or movies. One is into anything Pirate themed, and the other is still into anything fairy themed. Ask if she's interested in any particular fantasy theme such as Pirates, Sci-fi, Anime, or Fairies.
You know what you like so yu can start by asking if she has interest in any of those things.
Find out what genre movies she likes and maybe you can plan to watch a movie at your house or hers or at theater.
Girls are such a pushover for anything cute having to do with pets and animals and are much into sharing cute pics and things that pets do on facebook. Heck even I do. Do you have pets? Ask if she has any. Share any funny things your pet does. If no pets, you might want to go look up some funny pet videos and tell her about them, see if she has seen them. If you can save up a couple of good cute animal pic's or videos to send her by facebook thats a good reason for getting her to accept you as a facebook friend.
Some things are the same for girls as for guys, we all get hungry and need to eat and have favorite foods. Does she like to cook or bake or ever tried to? Some have an interest, some don't. As a teen I was much into baking, cookies brownies. All people have things that make them happy, or sad, or angry. Does she have ideas what she'd like to do for a job someday? Some teens know and others have no clue but plan to figure out later. What about exercise, recreation. Is she into biking, swimming, hiking, jogging, If she has an interest in a area you have never tried and you are willing to try it, let her know. Maybe her family goes hiking and you've never been. Let her know you really want to try that. Would her family be okay with a friend coming along? You get the idea. I hope. Good luck young man.
Hello! I am 14/f and I am rather interested in 18th and 19th century Europe. However, I am VERY interested in erotica from those times (like literature). When u hear the word erotica, all you really think of is probably smut, though, I don't read that, and I don't just read 18th century French erotica novels to get off by it. I see it as absolute art! I'd like to be more open about this type of subject, but I'm somewhat afraid of being ostracized. I'm guessing no one will understand I'm interested in such great art, and its really disappointing. So ... Do you believe it's okay for me to be awfully interested in such a subject? Thanks!
Anyone who is a literary works fan or English teachers will understand an appreciation for a particular writer or a period of literary art. There is nothing wrong with it. You need to see about joining some groups who are interested in the same. They may not be local but surely a search on the web could produce other people with the same reading interest/hobby. It would be great to have others to talk to about that subject. If you can't find others with the same interest, ask an English teacher and explain it exactly as you did to me. Remember the teacher is an adult and less likely to react as you believe your peers might.
Actually,I am wondering what you think your peers might find wrong with your particular interest in this art? I for one love the older paintings of nudes because they were more realistic as to what a real woman looked like. As I see it, right now you are worried about a reaction that you may not even get.
I am a 24 female and my ex is a 20 year old. He lives with his mom and dad and I live with my mom if that helps any. we only dated 7 months I broke up with him for several reasons .
reason number 1: He was constantly trying to talk me into having sex with him even though I told him I wanted to wait till marriage because I was trying to get my life right at time but he finally succeeded and talked me into it. He did this by saying things like I could always get sex from some girl in another town and looking to have sex with people he meets off of face book I saw the ad he posted my self.
reason number 2 is because he was emotionally abusive . If I said no he would yell at me and call me sorry .
he would also make me give all my money to him when I got my pay check and now when we have been broke up for a little over a year now he is harassing me . He does this by calling my mom's cell phone because I have gotten a number because he wouldn't leave me alone . I blocked him on face book. I have even called the police and all they did was warn him and I have a new boyfriend now who says that if he doesn't leave me alone he can't handle it anymore and will break up me what should I do please help me.
Your mom is a big girl. If receiving these calls from him are disturbing to her, she can block the blocks if possible or do the pain in the butt thing of changing her cell number and telling her friends her new number. As long as she stays with the same servive I don't see how that would be a problem. He doesnt have your new cell. In the meanwhile, tell mom you are no longer taking calls from him and make sure she understands why. Its not a bad thing to admit to her what was going on in case she doesnt know. What would be bad if you had decided to stay with him.
What about his parents, do you suppose they could be any help talking to him?
Apparently your new boyfriend isn't man enough to deal with it. Does he feel jealous about this sick attention from an old boyfriend. Poor little boy is gonna run away cus HE can't handle this? Where in all of this do you come in? What should happen is that you find yourself a real man, someone who loves you enough to not stand for anyone harassing you like that. That kind of man will go over to the old boyfriends house and confront him. "This is MY girlfriend now. Your harassing of her must stop. You can't call her, You can not show up at her house or stalk her around town. If you do not stop, we will take this to the police."
Women who complain about something aren't taken seriously in the beginning because women are seen as emotional by men so if we ignore the problem, maybe it will go away. If a new boyfriend went with you, lets them know that you made a friendly call with the demand that he stop and he still hasn't you both ask to be able to put a "restraining order" on the ex. If they don't want to do it, then you simply have to say, if the law won't protect my woman, then I will and I may need to beat the snot out of this harrassing bully. Does it need to go to the level of him calling a restraining order on me for protecting my girl?
I'll bet all it takes is getting smacked good and hard once by your Real man, and the ex will leave you alone. You mention no dad, otherwise, if your dad was alive and knew about this, he should be the one to go over and deal with your harrasser becauses he loves you. What about a step dad? Any uncle you are close to? You need some male in the family or a boyfriend to go over and put that young brat in his place.
20/f
I know that if someone is in a sexual relationship, they should be able to communicate about what they like. However, I've been thinking of something recently and I'm not sure how to initiate it. I watch porn pretty frequently and one day I came across a woman giving a rimjob to a man and at first I was grossed out but now I find myself searching for it and getting off at it. It turns me on so much. But I don't know if I could actually do it because I mean, that's someone's ass.. it could be really gross. But if my guy's clean, I know I would love it. How do I initiate this? I want to make sure he's clean before I do it but I also want to surprise him.. and would he probably like it?
Some people both females and males are really squeamish about anyone nosing around their anus. Others have no problems at all. Just in case he's the kind who would say NO, I wouldn't plan on trying to surprise him by just going there...he might resent it that you didn't communicate anything first. Trying something something between a couple must be talked about and planned to at least try it first.
It may be that you were aroused by it simply because it seems so naughty and gross but in real life, you are right, you may not like it.
If you both decide to try it, take a shower together before hand, soaping each other up. Remember, no soap for the female parts, just water is sufficient. Douches and soap cause problems for women. But thats another story.
If the male ass in sex has caught your attention, and he is open to it, massaging his prostrate, which is the Male G-spot, will increase the strength of his orgasm. It is a couple inches inside his anus on the wall facing his cock. It will feel about the size of a walnut, kinda hard and firm like your cervix. If you use disposable gloves or just finger gloves from the pharmacy for this, it is very enjoyable for the man who is brave enough to try. If he says no to anything. Let him know if he ever changes his mind to let you know and ask him to check around on line or maybe with friends he's that close to talking about anything and have him find out what others have to say about it.
22/f
I've been with my guy for about 4 years and I love him more than words could describe. I have no doubt in my mind that I want to marry him, and I completely trust him. About 8 months ago, I noticed him acting really weird and depressed, but he didn't want to talk about it and he actually ended things abruptly, no explanation. About 3 months later, I told him that that I'd feel awful if something happened to him and our last encounter was a fight over something stupid.
We moved on and things were back to normal. Lately he's been dealing with that very same thing and while I don't fear him leaving me or cheating on me or anything of that sort, he has this secret that he refuses to tell me. We got into a fight last night and I told him I was so confused because literally every aspect of his life, he tells me about. We are always brutally honest with each other and communicate so well.. up until this he has been completely open and he said he will continue to be open, he just can't tell me this ONE THING because he doesn't want to talk about it with anybody, period.
I almost ended things because I thought, it is something he could tell me and I would still love him, and he's choosing not to, even if it that means ruining our relationship. But how he sees it, is that our love is enough to look past it and move on since he believes it won't affect him much anymore. I understand that love should be unconditional but it's hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that the person who I know EVERYTHING about has a secret so big that I can't know. How am I supposed to look past that? I know he shouldn't have to tell me everything, but if it's that big of a deal, I can't help but think about it. What could it possibly be? How can I learn to deal with it?
You are asking only how to mentally deal with this big secret between you. My personality is to not let something like this just be ignored as irrelevant. To me, I must pull every apple out of the bushel until I totally empty to check and see if there is one rotten apple in there. The reason for this is, no matter how small the rotten part on one apple is, if left to sit with all the good ones, the good ones will eventually be affected too. And this is translated to: whatever the secret is, if it's harmless (like some male pride thing he doesn't want anyone knowing about) then it won't poison the rest of the relationship. If on the other hand, his secret is something majorly bad (rotten) it WILL affect the rest of the relationship.
What could be so bad? I remember the TV series "Breaking Bad" a loving husband who got involved in manufacturing and selling drugs. He only wanted to provide for family once he died. Then he couldn't stop. Who knows what illegal thing your boyfriend has gotten himself into if he cannot tell a single living soul. Acting weird and being depressed is not normal behavior. If he was so sensitive about it as to end things once already, you can bet he had no qualms about doing it again. I would even go so far as to venture that his secret holds his attention first place and that you will always fall into 2nd place in his life. If you can live with that and any consequences that may arise, then do as you wish. If you are wanting to have children, does he? If he does, and you have kids, would it be fair to them to be part of a split family because Daddys big secret reared its ugly head and became known and was something that tore the family apart. If not for yourself, hold off on being in relationship with this guy for the sake of any possible future children until you know what the secret is.
It's really rediculous sometimes I get so mad I just walk out the door. I did tht last night and she ended up being the one getting mad! Its crazy she treats me like a slave. I do 100% of all the dish washing and cleaning. I wash all the clothes and hang them up. All she does is cook for herself and her child and takes her to school. Now shes even getting me to do her kids homework with her! Dont get me wrong Idont have anything about doing work but the way she is getting me to do it I feel that she is only with me to use as her personal slave. When I dont do any of these things she gets really pissed off. I have tried to talk to her but she just ends up shouting at me. Its really rediculous. I do not plan to leave her because ofthis as its not that big a deal its just annoying to the extreme. Why wont she help around the house? What the heck did she do before I came into her life hire a maid or something?
I am wondering, was she like this before you proposed and put the engagement ring on her finger? How long did you know her before she changed? Since you say you don't know what she did before you came along, theres some important info about her past that you may not know. How much have you checked into her past? Are her parents like this? Are there any behavioral signs that might point to a mental disorder or emotional disorder? It may not be that noticeable now but continue to grow worse in the future. That happened to me. The husband continued to become more mentally sick and began to emotionally abuse me. She gets mad now, you could be hearing emotional verbal abuse directed at you 24/7. It might not be the case, she could simply be looking for a free ride ticket, someone to do everything for her, the kids, pay the way. What will she choose to do with her free time? Go to school and have you pay? Maybe. But if she's too lazy to keep her own home at least half the time, she won't apply herself in school. So will she put most her time into some hobbies of hers? If she gets bored with life because there is no depth to it because of her own choices, she may go looking for something to fill a wish for something new to entertain her, whether it be drinking and partying while you run the house, be father to the kids and pay for it all, or she may do something fun like gambling, drugs, start cheating. I could be totally wrong but all the stories I have come across in my life with the scenerio you paint...did not end up "Happily ever after" You sound like a man who wants to be honorable, one who sticks to a commitment made. You are not married yet, but even in marriage, if one partner doesn't carry their half of the load. I have a quote: "Happily ever after doesn't happen just because you wish it so. It only happens when both parties put in maximum effort to make it so." I should know...I lived that life and learned the lesson after 30 yrs of trying to stick with the dysfuntional person.
Let me point out that your emotions are being whipped into a frenzy already, and mentally you are finding yourself unable to cope by getting angry and walking out the door. You have an emotion of being resentful at how she is treating you. You feel confused because you call the situation ridiculous since there is no logic rhyme or reason for it that you can see Yet. You feel annoyed.
Make a list of pro's and cons. So far, I have a big list of Cons from you. I have not yet heard a list of the Pros. I will try a guess...dont mean to be disrespectful but many couples marry for only this reason. Are the pros, that she is beautiful in looks and the sex is terrific? That is not enough to base a marriage on.
After all I have said, if you still can't see anything wrong with this, then perhaps this is exactly what you want out of life..to be unhappy, uncherished, taken advantage of and abused. Some souls incarnate simply to experience the darker side of life so if that is why you want to plunge ahead with this, who am I to say no. In that case, there really wasn't any logical reason for you to write in for advice. You deserve to have a woman who is your equal and loves you unconditionally...they are out there.
I am a 14 year old girl who desperately wants someone to love. Yes, I know that this age, kids aren't really serious about it. I have been bullied in the past since 5th grade. I wasn't exactly the sweetheart either, but I have changed. I'm known as the weird girl. I have only one friend that sometimes, I'm not sure I can trust. I have achnea badly sometimes and I refuse to wear make-up. I believe that it doesn't really do anything anyway. Could someone please give me some advice?
Kids can be cruel. Sorry to hear about the bullying, I got that too and was not popular either. So I know how you feel. Find guys for now who are willing to be just friends who are males, not the boyfriend dating type. That will develope naturally in the friendship stage. I will bet there are also some guys who are not popular either. Often, it can be the odd guy out, the computer nerd types that end up making the best boyfriends, lovers and husbands. My husband admits to hanging with the nerd crowd when young.
Acne isn't the prettiest thing to look at, many teens have some acne at some point during their teen years, but it's part of growing up. If it gets extreme, you may want to see a dermatologist.
It will be hard to get the others to see past that to the real you inside. I raised my daughters to look past the outside. As a result, tho they were petite, most their girlfriends were overweight, heavy acne or unpopular for some other reason and they made the best friends ever. You may have to wait for the kids to 'grow up' a bit. But its worth a try to start paying attention to see if there's any nerd group guys and befriend them all. All guys want a chance to get to know a girl. Start as friends..it's low pressure for both of you. Best of luck to you dear
I met a girl on a chat website and we lived pretty close surprise. So we chatted I am older and we got to knoe each other pretty well. we started to meet and go over to each others houses. I started to have feelings for her and i like her a lot. I think she likes me to but I am scared to lose a good friend. please help me!!!!!
Well, you are starting things right by beginning as friends. The guys and gals who are dating have more a chance of a stable relationship when falling for each other romantically. So this is natural.
She is probably as scared as you of messing up a friendship. Ask some questions to find out where her thoughts are at. Use your own words but an example might be, "I know we're pretty good friends, right?" Of course she'll agree.
"I am wondering if you have ever thought about the future regarding our friendship? Would you be open to seeing it grow into something more, like a romantic relationship." If she says no, you haven't admitted yet how you feel. if she asks why, then tell her You have hopes of finding a female friend who will grow into a romantic love for you. If she says yes, then you can tell her your feelings are taking you there already. How does she feel?