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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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Hi, i'm a 20 yr old girl, well there's this guy who friended me on facebook, i figured tht since i was in a relationship with my thn boyfriend 2 years ago, i told him tht i had a bf, but still tht guy and i became really good friends. Later i found out that my boyfriend cheated on me and went a person who tried taking advantage of me. So i did go through depression for a while, he was there to kinda like check on me, and i really admired tht. Then suddenly he said tht he was in love with me, so i lectured him tht we were like best friends and still havn't forgotten abt my previous relationship. I switched of my cell and deactivated my facebook account, later whn i switched on the phone aftr a day, he texted me saying he was joking. So we went on fr a while like strangers, then one day he said "i can't take this anymore, can't handle my heart broken again nd again, again i adviced why its wrong, he again said tht he was pranking me. Thn he avoided me fr a while and thn he calls, avoids and again calls. Why?
Well, I'd say he probably thinks he's in love with you. Whether something could ever come from that is a shot in the dark. I miss use internet dating sites for an example cus it doesnt matter how you met or where you met online,,,the outcome is the same. I did online dating. Thats how I found my 2nd husband. But until I did, here's what I learned. You can be talking to someone and pick up on certain things like you like their sense of humor, and for example long talks about my interest in natural health and Non smoking. I cant say how many hid that they were smokers or that they in fact did not care about their health or were obese..using an older pic of themselves. I had more criteria than that but those are a few examples. If I chatted continuously for a month before meeting them, I found my mind was dreaming up and filling in all the cracks of what he is like in person because there is lots of info missing that you won't get until you are face to face. Like body language, mannerisms, facial expressions and their aura/energy and what kind of chemistry there is or not. When finally meeting the ones I had talked to continuous almost daily on the net, and then I finally met them, always at a Starbucks...my choice...lots of people around to be safe... I found they were nothing like I thought they would be and was actually repulsed by some, others no good energy coming off them, and yet others no chemistry. Even one I found who looked like a hot model just walked off the covers of a magazine, had two real dates with me. During that, I found he thought the world revolved around him and he wanted my adoration and attention to a certain degree where if he didn't feel the ego stroked enough he was no longer interested. So your guy has only a flat 2 dimensional idea of who you really are but has no idea who the 3d you is. He only said he was kidding because he was terrified of losing your online friendship. Maybe he's a nice guy. I can't tell you for sure. But there's a chance he has low self esteem and is needy and won't feel like a whole person until he has a female in his life. That is all stuff you don;t want to get messed up with. If the guy lives somewhere in your city where there'd be a possibility to date if you met and hit it off, then its up to you to meet him or not at a public place and maybe take a girlfriend along. If he doesn't live anywhere near you, don;t even go there...don't meet someone you have no way of having a daily in face relationship with. Since you do not feel at a 2d level, the same amount of interest in him, tell him you appreciate him being there for you during a hard time but you are not in love with him and would appreciate him not contacting you. If its FB and an IM window pops up, close it dont answer. Unfriend him if he becomes a pest. You dont have to respond to any texts and you dont have to answer his calls. Dont take his number off your cell yet cus you'll need to see who is calling so you dont answer. He still thinks he has a chance with you and thats why he keeps contacting you. So explain first and then cut off contact.
Hey im usinng my sisters account lol but anyway im a guy im 17 and my girlfriend is 16. We get intimate alot and we go up to my bedroom and do oral usually. Well for two days now when i asked to go up to my bedroom she made up an excuse that she was too tired or that she wanted to watch a show on tv but she never did that before. When i finally convinced her to come up to my bedroom she wouldnt let me eat her out or finger her. She always tells me when she is on her period and i asked if she was and she said she wasnt. When i tried to reach to finger her she quick stopped me and said she would rather just give me a blowjob today. Thats fine by me haha but i cant figure out why she was acting like that...
The best way to find out what is up is to ask her. Although, there may be a chance that she truly does not know why either. It is possible that if this is her first sexual experience or second, that she is still dating and having sex for the experience but not realizing the importance of having an actual physical sexual attraction and chemistry with her partner. She may like you well enough as a friend, and for the attention and you're cute enough for her but somethings missing. Or it could be that she is now attracted to someone else even if she isnt seeing them, just in her mind, wanting them can turn off the feelings for you. The dating experience is all about meeting several different people, not sticking with for life with the 1st person you meet. During your dating years, you learn to discover what you like and don;t like in the opposite sex, not that theres anything wrong with them, they just are not right for you. So try to be encouraging, let her know you'd rather know the truth than go on wondering. Be gentle and don't get mad. Because if it's not the right match, then it's not something you did wrong. You will be the right catch for the right girl and she will think you're the cat's meow.
I am a 24 year old girl who is dating a 25 year old boy for 5.5 years now.
in the last 3 years I have had mixed feelings for him. I have lost interest in our relationship and wanted to break up but I didn't have the heart to hurt him. I have thought about other guys and wanted to see what else was out there. we had breaks in the last 5 years and have suggested to break up but he didn't want to so I stayed and we made up.
we are currently on holidays and its still early into our trip and I feel Unattracted to him. I don't want to be with him but I can't tell him now whilst on holidays.
his a great guy. his nice and caring. doesn't get angry at me with me for whatever I've said and done. he puts up with me. but there are other traits I want in a partner that he doesn't have. when I am angry he doesn't ask what's wrong. he tries to pretend nothing happens. we don't talk as much as couples do. when I try to make a conversation I get short answers like "ok" or he just laughs, it feels like I'm talking to a brick wall most of the time. his not romantic or spontaneous. we joke a lot & that makes me feel that we're more like friends than couples. I know it's my fault too but I really can't see a future with him, not a happy one at least.
I don't know if I was even in love..
I don't know how to break it to him. I get emotional when I need to express it verbally.
is it too late to start over with someone new? .....
If you were turning 19 when you met him, that explains why you have are having doubts if he's the only serious dating you have ever done. The dating experience is all about learning what you like and don't like about a guy, which guy you still have the sexual chemistry with after a handful of months when the NRE New relationship energy has worn off.
You have already stated, you don't want to be with him. It sounds like you already know something is not right, even if you aren't sure what that something is. While most relationships are not anything like fairytales, when with the right person, you experience more joy in life simply because this person is at your side, everything! This joy would include even mundane tasks such as grocery shopping and doing dishes together. When you are apart for a short while, like work or some other event, both of you feel like something is missing, a part of you and both of you look forward to being in each others presence, even if you aren't doing anything special. When with the right person, you both want to support and uphold each other in what you are feeling, through personal goals, each validating the importance of what is going on in the mind and heart of the other. At times you catch his eyes darken with passion for you, just glancing at you across the room, the same as when you first met. You never tire of each others company.
And since conversation you feel is an issue, heres what I feel about that. Consistent communication will provide your relationship with the strong threads that weave through it to become a beautiful tapestry. In the beginning it is wise to discuss expectations, hopes and dreams and prioritize whatever things need to be tackled. If not done in the beginning it can be started at any time. As you get to know each other well you’ll know when is a good time to approach to talk, when to give your partner time and space to unwind, or private 'bubble time”. Under the heading of communication would fall the paying of compliments and being encouraging towards your partner, building each other up. Though he still has some weight to lose, I tell my husband how handsome he is to me, as is. Because I truly mean it, a wonderful thing happens. When we feel loved and cherished and secure in the attention we get from our partner, it spurs us to want to become even a better person for them. When information is not withheld but shared freely, then trust will continue to grow stronger. This is what you are likely shooting for but didn't know what it was called or how to put in words. Do you have any of this with him? If he is all this with you, then you do not need to go exploring the what if's that you never had a chance to date around. But if either one of you do not feel that for the other, it won't work. Good intention alone from one person isn't enough to carry a relationship. I have a quote that goes: Happily ever after doesn't happen just because you wish it so. It happens only when both partners put in maximum effort to make it so. And that means there needs to be a strong enough mutual attraction or one of you will not put in the effort needed to make it work. Doesn't mean either of you failed at a relationship, just that you were not with the right one to begin with. Hope this helps you out. If you decide you need to break it off and you cant say it face to face, write it in a card or letter and hand it to him asking him to read it all first and then have a face to face conversation with you. You can make your points and illustrations from logically when you are not wrapped up in the emotions of the moment. But you must be willing to still discuss in person after he's read it. Reassure him its not him, just that he doesn't feel like the right person for you and no one should ever have to change themselves to be right for someone.
Well I met this guy 2 years ago, and if I knew anything about it I would say it was love at first sight, which would probably explain why I still think about him all the time, and I've had a boyfriend and been married since then. well this guy and I have had our ins and outs, he has a girlfriend that doesn't want him talking to me or something so he doesn't, but I'm one of those people if you really want something then don't give up, so I would text him. and he'd either text back or not. I've been through a lot emotionally with this guy. we hung out one time when we first met and we kissed but that's about it. we talked all the time but decided we both didn't want a long distance relationship cause I lived 4 hours away, I was only visiting family when I met him. well he got a girlfriend so we quit talking so much, and on and off we went. well the last time I texted him like a month ago I was kind of a bitch cause I was pissed off and he told me I should just move on, well I thought I did, and then I was driving home from work the other day and he popped into my head out of no where, well my mum says he's my "Noah" (the notebook) whether I like it or not, he's always going to be in my heart. and so I texted him and he actually replied he was being a little short so I cut the conversation short, well the next day I sent him a picture of me, to see If it was even him texting me, and he never replied so I texted him yesterday and asked if he got my picture he said no, so he had me send it to his email, then he sent me a couple pictures of him. I asked if he could call me cause I was smoking a cigarette and I don't like smoking alone outside and night, and he called me, we were on the phone for almost a hour, and he was nagging me about how I'm old enough its about time I fly the coop, and go live life. that I should go to LA (which is were he is) then he started asking me what I want from him, cause I'm so consistent, he tried to help me break it down so I can figure out why I just cant shake him cause any other guy I can. well I told him cause I think I still have feelings for him and I'm just trying to find out, and he said I fucked a lot of stuff up for him with past relationships I've caused them fights and stuff cause I texted him, and I don't understand how that's my fault cause all id say is hi, unless he told them about me or they were super insecure I don't know why someone would get so upset from a hello. well anyways towards the end of the conversation he was saying that he needed to think about things, he's glad we had this talk but he needed to get off the phone and just text me, cause I was driving him crazy. he said he thinks rationally and I was making him think crazy shit, he doesn't understand, but it wasn't bad. so I shouldn't worry I just needed to let him think so we got off the phone and he texted me and said he just didn't want to get all emotional and stuff on a phone call and he was still attracted to me, but well figure it out. I don't know what to do. my mom and grandma say that maybe I never left his mind either and that's why its driving him crazy cause I'm stuck in his mind, but my dad said to leave him alone, cause it doesn't sound like its going to go well or something, that I shouldn't try and persue a relationship with him.
I'm so confused, and I'm so sorry this is so long.
aww..mom and grandma are romantics. I liked "the Notebook" too. But life isnt always going to turn out like the movie or a romance novel. Mom and grandma were not helping at all by putting these idea in your head that you have a chance with him.
I can tell that in your mind, even tho you've dated others and were even married and now divorced, (or at least I assume so--you didnt say) that no one you have been with has helped you forget him. Unlike the movie, your past love had moved on and was in other relationships, Noah had not so when she came to see him, he was totally available. The lady friend with benefits was only that, someone for the sexual needs. You don't know for sure that the new women who were in your exs life were just friends with benefits or whether he had moved on and his heart was falling for these others.
You are a female, so you should know that we all have great built in antennae, intuitions and senses, we can tell when something isn't Kosher. Yes, there can be jealousy. But lets say you did get together with him and all the loves he has had since you and texting and calling him day and night. Would YOU be okay with that? You know they were in a romantic relationship with him and don't want to let go, so if he did pay attention to them and was willing to continue to be friends with them, doesnt that leave a chance that one of them might be able to win him away from you. Its sure helps on perspective to place yourself in the other persons shoes. Truly, you did mess things up for him. He is only currently single because of you. Being realistic not trying to shame you. When you saw him two years ago and fell for him, did you guys ever date? That seems to be missing from your story. Did you spend any time together, not in a group of friends hanging out but one on one to get to know each other. When you say love at first sight, I assume you mean only yourself, not him too because you did not say love at first sight for both of us. If it was love at first sight for both and you dated, then i would wonder why you are not with him? But if it was only on your part, just hoping you could catch his interest, then you have a problem. Since you are not in the same city, it is not easy for you to find out right now if there could be something to a future relationship. You may see hopeful clues where there really aren't any or perhaps he does have a true interest. Maybe he is not sure and is not going to commit only to have you move to him or him to you only to find out that you both were wrong. Yes, it is important to have someone in your life you care that deeply about. Maybe the fact you can't let go means, you were predestined before coming into this life to meet. If you believe in your heart that is so, your inner voice is saying so very strongly, then the better idea might be to get the okay to spend some vacation time together and make the most of it, see what happens. If you are destined to be together, a visit for a week or two should be all it takes. But do not force things by showing up on his doorstep if he doesnt want to give it a try. You have to know in your heart that it is a dead end before I think you'll be able to move on.
I'm a 13 year old girl and when i turn 14 (It's ages away)I want a party. I don't want a little sleepover, but i want a proper one like in those American teen movies. I know I'm really young and usually you have them when you're like 17 or 18, but i just want to know a few things:
-where would i have it? (my house is quite big, but it would be sort of awkward, so i would rather hire a venue)
-Is it a good idea? Or would people just not take it seriously?
-How would i get a lot of people to come? even though my social circle isn't very big.
-Should/would there be alcohol?
-How much parental supervision should there be?
-How many people should i invite?
-How much would a venue cost? (in pounds)
-Any additional things you might want to add about parties?
I most likely wont be able to or something, but I'm quite curious, and i think it would be fun :)
And please tell me if this is a stupid idea! Thanks!! :D
Alcohol and minors is not a good mix. But then you already know that. I don't know why you are asking us for advice for a party instead of your parents unless you have asked and they said no.
At your age, if your parents are willing, it would be quite fine to have a girl and boy party at your home but of course it would have to be small scale, a dozen teens max and you'd have to abide by whatever guidelines the parents set down and they would have to be okay with hiding out in another part of the house and not hanging out watching your every move just peeking in to check on you all every once in a while. Alcohol is not a good idea. Drugs a big no. But fun teen games that include flirting and kissing should be fine. With your parents on site to be chaperones nothing can get out of hand such as use of a date rape drug. It's more likely that other parents will feel okay with their teens attending. I raised 3 daughters, all who at some point had boys over to the house for a party. One party only two guys showed up and one had to go home early. The one guy left so the gals all talked the guy into letting them doing a makeup job on him and tho he was not gay, he was okay it amazingly. They had a blast doing that. LOL. I have no idea on cost but I dont know how many parents have the extra money sitting around to rent a place that is somewhat private from the public. Thats why a mention the home, a large rec room would be best. We had none and used our living dining area. We retreated to the office or our bedroom. It might help to have everyone bring some cash for ordering pizza delivery. That was always the easiest and favorite food for a party. Instead of cake with all the sugary frosting, have icecream bars, popsicles on hand and also sugar free ones for the girls watching their calories or those who are diabetic. Look up fun party games ahead of time. There are even books for sale that are all about party games. Thats all I can think of. If your parents can afford a grand scale party, still be careful and selective of who you invite. Only once did we have a kid attend a party who wasnt exactly a close friend to my daughter. The gal would not abide by our rules and started horsing around, wrestling the other girls, throwing couch pillows. I asked her twice to please stop. I enjoy a pillow fight too but I explained my crowded living room was not the place for that. I thought all was well until the next morning. I discovered a broken ceramic picture frame and a cracked lamp shade and a couple broken nicknacks. That girl was barred from ever coming over again. I really felt devastated but other parents may react more severely and not allow any future parties if things get out of hand. Just a friendly warning. The number of people attending is not what will make your party memorable and fun but the quality of the people and how fun they are.
I can't seem to get a girlfriend. They all seem to ignore me. And after countless attempts by my friend I'm ready to get advice. So how do I get a girl to talk to me? Maybe go on a date?
Since I don't know what you are doing or saying to them or anything about your appearance, and mannerisms, it's hard to say where you might need a little advice.
Are you attracted to people (guys & girls) who are shy, and have a low self esteem? Most of us are not. How do you come across? You don't have to be a jock, look like a model to get the girl. While everyone has their own personal taste in looks, no one has to look like a hot movie star to get a partner. Make sure you deal with shyness if you battle that and become bold. I have an exercise I can share that helped me battle shyness as a teen. But since I dont know if you need that, you'd have to repost a question asking for help with shyness. I'll see it. Without shyness, a person comes across as bold, self confident and that is attractive to those of the opposite sex, no matter which sex you are.
So I will concentrate on conversing, what you say is very important. Do you talk AT people or do you talk with them. Ask your guy friends. If you do all the talking, telling people one fact or detail after another of what you know, you did, you think without ever asking them questions about themselves and giving them a chance to talk, then you are talking AT someone. A guy might do this out of nervousness of just talking to a girl or it may be something called Aspergers syndrome which some people are born with. Just like people who are Dyslexic, being aware of it is half the battle won and paying attention and trying extra hard to not do it will make all the difference.
So as to actual words said, I know even women will do this with a cute little girl, use her appearance as the conversation opener. "Aren't you the cutest thing, You look so pretty and grown up in the dress. This is bad. It teaches girls that their appearance is the only way they are going to get a guy. Those are the gals who wear the latest fashions and fuss with their makeup hair and nails all the time. So they are generally noticed first before the pretty girls who go for the natural look and just being themselves. I would focus on going for the girl next door type rather than the Hollywood types. Deep down inside all females want a guy to ask them questions about themselves and show a genuine interest and what she says and reveals. It works with 5 yr olds through 95 yr olds. Try not to make your first comment be her looks, "You are looking awesome today. Hey I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me." Bad. Most girls will want to get to know a guy first before going out with him. They want to feel a true bond of friendship before going on to romance. This is a good thing to learn now because later in life, marriages without a base of friendship won't survive if it's only based on the sex.
Make your opening question something related to where you are at that moment, whats going on around you or something you've heard or seen on TV. And make it something that cant be answered yes or no or the conversation ends there as there is nothing for you to latch onto that she said to carry on the conversation. Then after you have commented on her answer, Mention something about yourself like, I am a movie buff and always wanting to find another good movie to watch. What are some of your favorites. Now you have switched the conversation to asking her about herself. Women have invisible antennae that are good on picking up when someone is truly interested or not in what they have to share. So either be truly interested in what you hear from them and make mental notes to remember these things, or if you nothing much in common, try another gal. Do not change who you are to pretend to have things in common. Doesn't work. Hope this helps.
We've been together for 9 years now, and I still get so frustrated with him. We have 3 children together, I do everything, house cleaning, work, take care of the kids, I keep up with the routines with the kids.
He watches television all day, does not help with the house, tells us what to do all the time, what to eat, drink, tells us to go towards health, that's fine for me but he does not do it himself, he drinks a lot, wants to start smoking pot again, sits on the couch all day.
I'm so tired of him telling us what to do, how to do it, what and how to say things to other people.
He tries to get angry when I try talk to him that bothers me about him. I feel his always against me in everything, he asked me questions about myself and my answers are never right for him.
He thinks he has me figured out but he has me all wrong, but he won't get that because I'm wrong.
He gets angry at the kids when they make mess and I don't like that because why should he have the right to be angry with the kids making mess when he won't take the effort to clean up.
He goods in many ways too, he provides to the family very well but it's changing too in that area, he's trying to be a stay at home dad while I attend college, which I think is making him want to be at home than working, I told its more benefit for the house if I'm at home, since I would keep up with the house work, and he says you'll have something to do after work.
I have no one to talk to, and I don't want to send bad vibes about him, just want someone to understand and what ways can change so that he will make changes for the better for himself and the family.
I've tried to talk to him about these stuff but it doesn't get anywhere, he won't accept it and not take responsibility. He can't even apologize.
I keep hoping for a great outcomes but it seems so far away.
I understand you not wanting to say anything bad about him and I am taking what you say as simply reporting the facts. I used to be married to a man like that except for the part about being at home instead of working, he sounds alot the same.
I understand how frustrating it is. Because you have children with him, you feel totally committed to being with him, even if it makes you unhappy. You also need to think about the effect his behavior has on the kids. If both parents aren't doing the same and showing a united front in how they raise the kids, the kids will be affected by this psychologically. My 3 daughters were affected by it. They are finding they have issues now as young adults because of how he treated them.Thank God that what I did to give extra loving when dad hurt them or upset them, helped them to turn out fairly normal. So I will say that you must think about your kids when you decide what you need to do.
Here's the bad piece of news. No one can change another person. The only one you have any control over changing or growing for the better is yourself. And you can do that but it isnt going to help your situation. Some people have to hit rock bottom in their life and be very miserable before they decide to start making some changes. Some people never change enough to save a marriage. And others never change at all. There is no guarantee that hubby will change during your marriage.
So you need to ask yourself, can I handle things continueing on just as they are without any change for another 6 mos... likely you can easily say sure...I've done it so far. A year then or two? Yes...but you know you wont like it. Now ask yourself, it's been 9 years already, and you see yourself putting up with this, no complaints for another 5, another 10 years? I gave myself the same pep talk at 30 yrs of marriage. But once I got to imagining 10 more years of my life with my ex with no improvement, I broke down and wept. I could not put myself through that. I was loyal by character trait but it wasnt helping him or me. In fact, at about 12 yrs of marriage, the stress of putting up with it began to have affects on me, on my health. I was a Christian and prayed and only God kept me sane and kept my self esteem in tact. But the strain still affected my body.
What I am saying is that this could possibly affect your health, increase in headaches, tight stressed muscles, problems sleeping, depression, stomach ulcer, etc...I got all that and my blood pressure went up too.
what are some fun things to do while making out?
Not sure I understand your question. Do you mean things to do in addition to making out? Like what snack foods to have on hand? Or did you mean what kind of things qualify as making out?
Making out in the dictionary says: It typically refers to kissing,including prolonged, passionate, open-mouth kissing (also known as French kissing), and intimate skin-to-skin contact.The term can also refer to other forms of foreplay such as heavy petting,which typically involves some genital stimulation,(mutual masturbation) but usually not the direct act of penetrative sexual intercourse.
All of these are part of making out and are rewarding to do if you are with the right partner. If you get started and decide you don't like the partner or feel unwilling to do it, uncomfortable, then stop. There is no hurry when first becoming sexually active.
But there are good precautions to take. If you feel that your makeout sessions are not enough and you want to do it all, then the girl needs to go to Planned Parenthood for contraceptives. The sooner the better because she needs to be on them for a while before they are effective. P P will accept anyone who comes to them and no one is turned away because of their age, even younger teens, pre-teens.
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My dad has done drugs in the past. He got put on probation 9 years ago and he was off drugs. He became a better person but he still drinks a lot of beer daily. He got caught by my brother 2 years ago and he promised us he would never do it again. Now My mom and I think he's doing drugs. He's spending a lot of money and we don't know what he's doing with it. He stays out all night too. My mom left town for 5 months and it was just me and my dad at home. He would stay gone all night. One night he came home and he asked me for his money that he stored in my room. I dont know how to explain it, but his face was looking different, like a drug addict and his voice was deeper. he stays gone at night for hours. I thought he was doing drugs then because of how he was acting and looking. I think he's trying to hide a drug problem. And he's spending all the money that him and my mom are supposed to be using to get a house. My mom came back after 5 months and he started to take my debit card and my moms and stay out all night withdrawing money from ATM's. He keeps his money in mine and my moms bank account cause we're supposed to get a house. My mom says she can't control him cause he's a grown man and she thinks he's doing drugs too and he's wasting a lot of money. He said he's not doing anything. How do find out what's going on?
Your mom needs to wake up and see what is coming...if she does nothing about it, not only will you have no money for a house but you will be out on the streets, homeless. It is not smart for her to say nothing to authorities, such as the parole officer. She needs to talk to a lawyer about her situation. Perhaps she can regain control of the bank account that is hers and not allow him access to the money. If he doesnt get the money he can become mean and abusive even though you are his family, drugs will mess with his judgement when he is desperate. For mom to allow him access to money means she is enabling him. That means she is helping him to stay on his drug habit. She may have given up on him but she should not being giving up on a future for you,her and any siblings. She'll need some money for that. She may want to get a legal separation and tell him he needs to go for treatment again for them to get back together and if he doesnt go, then file for divorce. It isnt fair to allow him to drag the whole family down into the gutter.
I don't know how old you are and whether the bank account is your own or your mom is on it too cus of your age. If you are of legal age, and the money in your account is your own hard earned money, you need to go to the bank and ask that your mother or mom and dad if his name is on it too, be taken off since you are of legal age. They may require your mom to come in and verify it, but not necessarily likely. If he wont give the debit cards back, let the bank know you want to report the cards as stolen and have them reissued only to you and mom and this time do not let him have them. Find a good hiding place...not the wallet. You'll need to ask professionals for advice because it involves street drugs and he was on parole once already. The best thing is to contact an agency that deals with drug users and can give the proper advice to your family. If mom wont do it and you become even more scared of your situation, then hon, you're going to have to do it. Mom might be angry cus she's trying to ignore it but that won't make things get better, only worse, not just for him but all of you. This is a time when because of your love for your parents you won;t want to do anything that will anger or upset them. But if you ever feel threatened of him hanging around the house while high on drugs, and mom won't act, then you have a right to do something that will protect you and give you peace of mind and that is contacting the authoritys. Your mom and the rest of the family may need to go for counseling just as the family of alcoholics do in AA meetings. This is a hard situation you face dear. I am sorry to hear you have to experience this. I hope you find the inner strength to do what you must when the time comes no matter what your age, even if still under 18
Im 13 and my boyfriend and have bren dating for 7 months now, and we haven't broken the touvh barrier yet. We hugged twice and thats about it
Well, you need to think about what it is you really want. Would you be happy with just some kissing and holding hands?
If your boyfriend has not tried to kiss you yet, either he is scared because this will be your first foray into anything romantic, or he wants to but wants to leave it up to you to make the first move.
Next time you are walking together, just say, "Lets hold hands and grab for his hand. If he is comfortable with that, then find a chance to hug him again and while hugging, give him a quick kiss. Look for his reaction. does he seem happy about it or uncomfortable. And ask him too. Did you like that Tom? Would you like another kiss? or ask, Would you kiss me this time? You have to be doing something where you are close like a hug or cuddling together somewhere so that kissing will feel natural and not as awkward for you.
I'm an 18 year old male, and I could never even think about young girls sexually. But the other day at work, a girl came in with her parents and was clearly(by looking at her face and size) about 13 years old. However, she was very developed in every other way, quite well endowed, in good shape, in dressed in an outfit that complimented her features VERY well, and I couldn't help but be attracted to her. I would never try anything, because I know that it would be horribly wrong. But does the fact that I couldn't get her out of my head make me a monster? Or is it normal to feel that way under those circumstances?
Don't feel bad about how your body reacts to seeing a particular female and feeling sexually attracted to. Guys as long as they have eyes in their head, are going to see women throughout life that may garner that response from their body...whether she be younger, same age or old enough to be your mom. Just as long as you for now not allow yourself to mess with someone who isn't of legal age, then you're doing good. If it makes you feel better, females have those responses, because it's easier for us to hide our responses, we can pretend it doesn't happen to us. Perhaps it doesn't happen quite as often as it does for guys but it can be inappropriate too. Like being a teen and seeing a guy older than my dad who I thought was so sexy looking at his age but i wouldnt act on it. I just had to be discreet to not get caught staring at him all the time. I remember a time my ex had a prayer buddy friend over from church and all of a sudden as I had to pass behind the dining chair he was seated at, I had the most strongest desire to dig my hands into his hair and play with it, I felt the desire that strong. It shook me up pretty bad, being the Christian lady and married too. LOL I had to learn to not take life so seriously. Enjoy the fact that I have a healthy body with a healthy libido. Some people have a libido but not a healthy body. Some have a healthy body but their libido has gone to sleep. YOU will do fine. Start dating and enjoy some romance between you and someone your age. Best wished for your life
I have all the friends in the world. Ever since I was basically born I've had many friends and always been satisfied. Until I turned 17 and my life and future began flashing before my eyes. Nervous and terrified, all I needed was someone to talk to. That's when I realized that I can't talk to anyone I know now. I've had some good friends in the past ones that I probably could have talked to but as the course of life would have it they all became really distant. I feel so alone trying to deal with everything I feel I need to do. Pressure from all over is coming at me. My parents and my grades and university and keeping close with friends trying not to lose any. Being the best I can. This website seems to be my only hope of letting it all out. I guess all I really need is someone to just say something to me.
You are 17 so you have graduated. All during your 17th year, friends will have been making their own plans for their future. Some go away to colleges, some go to work, get into a relationship, maybe even marry. I remember one daughter who felt as traumatized as you. She understood that many friends were leaving for college out of state. She was going local CC. and working. But one by one, her local friends married, or had to move far for work. Eventually, she had no friends left from her past. She felt pretty bad but we'd agree, she was not depressed and did not need to see a doctor for it. Then she lost her job cus the company closed down. And she had temp jobs here and there and fell behind in bills until she finally landed a job as a barista. What I am saying is that you and my
I had to take the morning after pill, bled for a week after and since then for two and half months did not have my menstrual cycle
Have you taken a pregnancy test? If it is not positive, then there could be other factors. Just worry and stress will cause a delay in cycle. Sickness will also do that.The morning after pill being an emergency contraceptive could throw you off one month and then stress throw you off more. If I were you, I would plan a visit to planned parenthood or your gyn. Get a check up and let them know ahead that if you are not pregnant at the time you want to get a contraceptive at the same appointment. Don;t put yourself through all this anxiety or you will not be able to enjoy sex as much as you possibly could with the ever present worry you might get pregnant.
Start reading up on contraceptives. The hormonal ones, many women are having not so nice reactions too. >They trick the body into thinking its pregnant so it doesn't release an egg but then the body exhibits weight gain like a pregnant woman gets, also tenderness in the breast. Constant headaches are common. Some even find their lose their libido which is counter productive to the reason you got the b c in the first place, You want to want sex, while on b c, not lose your desire. The list goes on. Not all women get these side effects but a great number do. You might look into non hormonal bc. Spermicide kills the sperm and is used alone or with a diaphragm which you'd have to get measured by dr. for so its a custom snug fit for you. The most carefree is the copper IUD. no hormones. what it does is that the copper reacts with the lining of the uterus so that the lining becomes inhospitable for a fertilized egg to attach itself. Read all the facts on line. Be proactive and make some decisions ahead of your visit as to what you want to try. If you choose to go with shots or the pill, just be knowledgable about the possible side effects and if you have any, then go back and get a prescription for something else.
Hey,
My dog is a Whippet and she is 10 years old. Last night she threw up 8 times for no apparent reason. After the 8th time she tried to throw up again but nothing came out anymore. Tonight she just threw up again. She just had a vet appointment last week and everything was fine he said but why is she throwing up all of a sudden? We havent changed her diet in any way that would cause this..
We used to have a small dog. She was notorious for going to neighbors for treats. One elderly demented neighbor would throw their old spoiled food out in their garden hoping it would compost eventually. ONe day, we figured she must have gone too far from home and ended up eating what she found in this neighbors yard and got a severe case of food poisoning. We had to put her in the bathroom because she was puking and shitting (the runs) at the same time just as we were leaving for work. When we got home, it was no better. We waited another day hoping it would improve but it didnt. So we took her in. we called the vet the next day and when they saw her she was dehydrated severely. That is the danger you run right now with your dog if its not taking in liquids and keeping it down. They kept her overnight and watched her. She seemed to be fine once rehydrated and they gave her something to eat and she was able to keep it down so we were able to take her home again. If your dog couldnt get into any old food outside from a garbage can or something, then it could be something else, maybe an obstruction in her digestive tract, something she swallowed that is stuck.
I am 13 and I want to give my boyfriend an erection. We have been dating for 10 months now, and PLEASE don't be concerned or tell me that I'm too young!!!!!!!!!!
There are many people having sex at your age nowadays so its not looked at as odd by anyone. Only parents still freak out. I only ask that you go to Planned Parenthood and get on some contraceptive now before you have sex because 1. it takes some time before the contraceptive becomes effective and 2. condoms are great for diseases but there can be leakage, a tear or something else go wrong and you can become pregnant. Get a good contraceptive. Planned Parenthood treats anyone who comes asking and have never turned anyone away because of their age. If you have any weird reactions to a contraceptive, tell them right away and go back to be seen, they may change what you are taking.
Now on the the erection part. Are you sure that just being around you he hasn't had any erections already? Depending on his size and the cut of his pants, it may be easily visible and then again not. I remember slow dancing close with some men where I couldn't see any erection but sure felt it between us as we danced.
Have you and the boyfriend talked? Does he want to become sexual with you too? Make sure you're on the same page if you haven't talked. If this is something you both want to do, then just slowly start enjoying being sexual together. There is no hurry to do it all at once. After four years with the current husband, we both keep experiencing things we havent before with anyone else. So you have the rest of your life to experience it all.
You may want to go online and do some studying on mens responses sexually. I can tell you from experience that we don't always have control over how our bodies will perform from one time to the next, Nor will our bodies react to the same stimulation predictably. So one time, just heavy kissing is enough to get my guy erect. The next time, it doesnt. No big deal, holding his flaccid penis in my hand and playing with it, is enough to get him hard again. Don't expect something like a hard and tried routine that is exactly the same way...step 1, step 2, step 3. For all you know, the first time he's with you he may get hard simply because he watched you undress.
My guyfriend texted me sayin he felt used by me so we had to talk about it he said he wasnt upset with me later i tried callig for many hours his phones were busy what do i do
Texting, writing on FB and phone calls are not the proper way to work out issues in a relationship.
This is best done face to face. This is where you can watch the persons eyes, their facial expression or body language and know how they are feeling. There are things you can pick up on in person that in this texting generation, the skill has been lost because even talking on a phone is seldom done. This is not good for relationships. Communication is one of the key things important to a healthy relationship, another is trust, and yet another, a willingness for both to put in equal effort to work on the relationship. He said, I am feeling used. He did not say, you are using me, right? If so, he said so correctly.
I've had a close friend since the ninth grade. it's been 2 and a half years and we are still friends... "friends". I don't feel the same way about her as I did then. I feel like any other friend I ever had has done to me. They built up this competition between the two of us. It's ridiculous. We're friends it should not be this way. Only every girl I have ever gotten close with does this to me. I don't care if she is smarter than me or thinner than me but it occurred to me the past year that this is exactly what worries her. Being the better of the two of us. It hurts because I've done this so many times and although the most reasonable thing is to just not let it get to me and not let her be as close to me as I used to let her. It's just so much history to let go of.
I am not sure I understood correct but if your friend is being influenced so easily by other girls to compete against you, then it shows she is
1. easily influenced
2. has no back bone
3. caves in under peer pressure
Not everyone matures at the same rate. In a couple more years she might mature enough to realize how good and true of a friend you were and come back to you. If she does, give her a chance to prove herself changed. If so, accept her back in. Don't hold against her what she was too weak as a teen to learn. If she hasn't changed, don't take her back as a friend because friend isn't the proper word for someone who toys with your feelings. Currently she does not know how to be a friend. So look elsewhere. I know darn well that no matter at what age, whether still in school or out in the work force, there will always be the people who have no friends. seek them out and befriend them. My daughters never lacked for good friends in high school. They befriended the overweight girls, the shy ones, the gay, the bi sexual ones who heterosexual girls were afraid to be friends with,
the pagan, or witch, the ones with social behavioral conditions that turned people off such as Aspergers syndrome. All of these can make good friends because they aren't looking to compete with anyone, all they want is someone who will be a true friend and like them for who they are inside. They are the few who are not into their looks 100% of the time, changing their hairstyle, cut or color more often than one changes oil in the car, nail art, toe art, jewelry, tattoos piercings, and clothing that is name brand, the latest greatest, and shoes, more than they can give you a number of what they have, makeup has to be perfect. Think about it...They strive so hard to make the outside look what they think is appealing because they don;t feel self assured inside, and maybe don;t even like themselves. Thats as bad as skinning a knee, having ground in dirt and all you do is cover it with a bandaid so no one has to see it without addressing the issue of germs and sterilizing so under the bandaid pus begins to form. Yeah real smart huh? Not. Spend your time for those who know who they are inside and won;t change who they are to please the majority. They have the backbone to stick with who they are even if it means they have no friends. The 3 points that your friend struggles with, these people have aced. But it doesn't mean they don't hurt as you do. They hurt too. Maybe they struggle with forgiveness, maybe they feel bitter towards some people. But instead of acting upon these feelings and making things worse...they stay to themselves and keep hoping for someone like you to come along. Go find them dear!
How do you feel about tipping?
I know this may piss some people off but I do not tip. I believe one pays for service when they dine out in the cost of their meal.
I am not looking to hear how ignorant I seem to be, I am looking for opinions.
Its a system that was set up and put in motion all across the world. Service person like waiters or even bellboys at a hotel are usually all paid a minimum wage. They count on tips to really help make ends meet on their budgets. I believe people should be able to pay what they can afford. I don't like paying 20 % which I have heard is the going rate when i have splurged to go out to a very expensive restaurant for say a birthday or some other special event because we are paying for the atmosphere there, the view perhaps, the choice of foods. By time I have run up a bill with expensive meals, two glasses of wine a piece, coffee and dessert, I can barely afford the bill let alone add on any tip at all. I agree with you on tipping on places that are high end expensive places.
However it is rare we go to such places because we can't afford it. We look for the moderate to inexpensive places where we have had a wonderful equally well made, classy meal, just the restaurant is more old worn shabby but clean. At those places if my meal was only $8 and a wine at $6., they are not bringing in enough there to pay the employee a big salary, you know they will be earning minimum wage. As long as the service is great, I will tip at places like these because I can afford to and they need it. If you become a regular at such an inexpensive place and still won't give some tip, they will remember you. You run a chance of getting worse service in the future. It's up to you. Your conscience.
I dated a guy for 7 months. We had good times and a good connection.
He's in 3 music bands and had been busy lately but he still wanted to spend time 2gether. Then we stopped talking as much and there was some tention between us which i think both of us ignored. One day he broke up. He said maybe we should date others and he did'nt feel the same as b4. Anyways, I always had a problem with saying "no" to things he asked for and I thought I was always right in arguments. I used to say sorry but never with a genuine intention of changing. Now I realize how I've been. I am very self centered and I never noticed. Now I'm ready to talk and apologize. But how can I even start talking to him!?
It is good that you finally see what you have been doing wrong. Thats a great start. I remember when one of my daughters couple years ago realized what she was doing wrong after reading Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. There's even more than what the book shares but she was off to a good start...hoping she could get her boyfriend re-interested in her. The problem wasn't entirely her actions. I could clearly see what he was doing wrong too but she couldn't. They were not a right match for each other to begin with. And it ended quickly.
It was just 7 mos. which may seem like a long time, but in a relationship, it really is a short time, not enough time to get past the NRE, new relationship energy that makes everything super intense and great, but that levels out after a few month or 6 mos or so. When that happens, you know what you are really left with. True, he may not have liked some things about your behavior but I am willing to bet he has things he does which are not the best thing for a relationship. Ask any woman who has a workaholic husband if she is satisfied in her marriage if she still loves him, and the answer will be no. Trying to be in 3 different bands at once is quite a stretch for his time and he is choosing all 3 over you, putting you last. Even if you have never done any of the things you had, there's a chance that he still would put you last. Are you really sure you want to try to get him back? Maybe thats part of what you need to experience and learn still. Experience is a good teacher. If you are determined to get back together, you can call him and talk. Or write to him on FB or text. He may see it eventually if he takes a break from music. He may respond, and he may not. If he doesn't move on. If I were you, I would go find some find to read self help books about relationships and learn more about what makes a woman a great partner and what to look for in a guy. Good luck
The closest friend I ever had left to live in another country two years ago. In two weeks she plans on returning for a visit. It is now that I realized that I hated the people we were when she was here. Now I have different friends and I don't do the same things I used to. I'm afraid that when she comes back it will all come out. Everything I changed about myself will come back to haunt me. All the boys, drama, narcotics. I don't deny I did it but I don't want it all to spill out the way I am afraid it all might. How is it possible that we were such good friends and now the thought of seeing her petrifies me.
She must be planning to see other people besides you. You won't know how strong you are unless you have to face the temptation and be able to resist it. Don't place yourself in harms way, meaning, see her on your own terms, your own turf. In fact, it wouldn't hurt to let her know this before she arrives. Let her know you are no longer the person you were when you hung out with her. There's nothing wrong with the choices you've made though she might not see it that way. If she ridicules you and trys to make you feel bad for not wanting to take some drugs and attend a wild party or two with her while she is back..just tell her she is not welcome to see you if she insults or harrasses you. Tell her you will see her at a restaurant or your own place where you can have control. Do not go to the home of a mutual old party friend of yours and hers for that puts you in an uncomfortable situation. You feel petrified because the inner child in you does not want to ever go back to that way of living and is terrified you will make a mistake and take you both back to that again. So promise yourself that you will not take any risks and make some plans ahead of time how you will respond to her. You should find your anxiety level go down some. Since you have new friends, perhaps you could invite them along for moral support. It might be better that way. If they dont know your past, tell them now and ask if they could hang out with you at your place or out to dinner to meet Giorgina. Once Giorgina sees for herself that you and your new friends aren't anything like she is, unless she too has changed, then she will cut her get together with you short and leave of her own accord to look up the buddies who will go party on the wild side with her. Just stick to what you believe in now, act yourself. Just the wonder and the what ifs that we think about before we are facing what we fear, is never as bad as our minds think. Our minds usually are really good at dreaming up the worst case scenerio real easy and not good at letting go of negative destructive thinking. I believe that you are strong and the battle is more in your mind. tell yourself out loud each day what strengths you have now, relay all the good things you are proud of in yourself. You can do it girl. But get your new friends to help support you.