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humorist-workshop
a guy ive been stuck on
Well I met this guy 2 years ago, and if I knew anything about it I would say it was love at first sight, which would probably explain why I still think about him all the time, and I've had a boyfriend and been married since then. well this guy and I have had our ins and outs, he has a girlfriend that doesn't want him talking to me or something so he doesn't, but I'm one of those people if you really want something then don't give up, so I would text him. and he'd either text back or not. I've been through a lot emotionally with this guy. we hung out one time when we first met and we kissed but that's about it. we talked all the time but decided we both didn't want a long distance relationship cause I lived 4 hours away, I was only visiting family when I met him. well he got a girlfriend so we quit talking so much, and on and off we went. well the last time I texted him like a month ago I was kind of a bitch cause I was pissed off and he told me I should just move on, well I thought I did, and then I was driving home from work the other day and he popped into my head out of no where, well my mum says he's my "Noah" (the notebook) whether I like it or not, he's always going to be in my heart. and so I texted him and he actually replied he was being a little short so I cut the conversation short, well the next day I sent him a picture of me, to see If it was even him texting me, and he never replied so I texted him yesterday and asked if he got my picture he said no, so he had me send it to his email, then he sent me a couple pictures of him. I asked if he could call me cause I was smoking a cigarette and I don't like smoking alone outside and night, and he called me, we were on the phone for almost a hour, and he was nagging me about how I'm old enough its about time I fly the coop, and go live life. that I should go to LA (which is were he is) then he started asking me what I want from him, cause I'm so consistent, he tried to help me break it down so I can figure out why I just cant shake him cause any other guy I can. well I told him cause I think I still have feelings for him and I'm just trying to find out, and he said I fucked a lot of stuff up for him with past relationships I've caused them fights and stuff cause I texted him, and I don't understand how that's my fault cause all id say is hi, unless he told them about me or they were super insecure I don't know why someone would get so upset from a hello. well anyways towards the end of the conversation he was saying that he needed to think about things, he's glad we had this talk but he needed to get off the phone and just text me, cause I was driving him crazy. he said he thinks rationally and I was making him think crazy shit, he doesn't understand, but it wasn't bad. so I shouldn't worry I just needed to let him think so we got off the phone and he texted me and said he just didn't want to get all emotional and stuff on a phone call and he was still attracted to me, but well figure it out. I don't know what to do. my mom and grandma say that maybe I never left his mind either and that's why its driving him crazy cause I'm stuck in his mind, but my dad said to leave him alone, cause it doesn't sound like its going to go well or something, that I shouldn't try and persue a relationship with him.
I'm so confused, and I'm so sorry this is so long.
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aww..mom and grandma are romantics. I liked "the Notebook" too. But life isnt always going to turn out like the movie or a romance novel. Mom and grandma were not helping at all by putting these idea in your head that you have a chance with him.
I can tell that in your mind, even tho you've dated others and were even married and now divorced, (or at least I assume so--you didnt say) that no one you have been with has helped you forget him. Unlike the movie, your past love had moved on and was in other relationships, Noah had not so when she came to see him, he was totally available. The lady friend with benefits was only that, someone for the sexual needs. You don't know for sure that the new women who were in your exs life were just friends with benefits or whether he had moved on and his heart was falling for these others.
You are a female, so you should know that we all have great built in antennae, intuitions and senses, we can tell when something isn't Kosher. Yes, there can be jealousy. But lets say you did get together with him and all the loves he has had since you and texting and calling him day and night. Would YOU be okay with that? You know they were in a romantic relationship with him and don't want to let go, so if he did pay attention to them and was willing to continue to be friends with them, doesnt that leave a chance that one of them might be able to win him away from you. Its sure helps on perspective to place yourself in the other persons shoes. Truly, you did mess things up for him. He is only currently single because of you. Being realistic not trying to shame you. When you saw him two years ago and fell for him, did you guys ever date? That seems to be missing from your story. Did you spend any time together, not in a group of friends hanging out but one on one to get to know each other. When you say love at first sight, I assume you mean only yourself, not him too because you did not say love at first sight for both of us. If it was love at first sight for both and you dated, then i would wonder why you are not with him? But if it was only on your part, just hoping you could catch his interest, then you have a problem. Since you are not in the same city, it is not easy for you to find out right now if there could be something to a future relationship. You may see hopeful clues where there really aren't any or perhaps he does have a true interest. Maybe he is not sure and is not going to commit only to have you move to him or him to you only to find out that you both were wrong. Yes, it is important to have someone in your life you care that deeply about. Maybe the fact you can't let go means, you were predestined before coming into this life to meet. If you believe in your heart that is so, your inner voice is saying so very strongly, then the better idea might be to get the okay to spend some vacation time together and make the most of it, see what happens. If you are destined to be together, a visit for a week or two should be all it takes. But do not force things by showing up on his doorstep if he doesnt want to give it a try. You have to know in your heart that it is a dead end before I think you'll be able to move on.
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Is he in a relationship right now? If so, then you should stop talking to him. He's trying to move on and have relationships. Even if you just say hello, the girl will probably ask who it is and he'll have to explain, which causes problems.
Normally in relationships, you shouldn't be texting people who you were involved with. You need to respect those boundaries.
So maybe he does think about you but he isn't trying as hard as you are to get this thing going. If he does contact you and tells you that he does want to start things up again, then go ahead, but for now just leave it alone.
It's a good thing to be a persistent person but sometimes, it's not always the right thing to do. Life isn't like movies, although that would be amazing. So as of right now, I'd suggest letting it go unless he figures out what he wants.
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I am sorry if this sounds rude, but you need to back off.
This guy told you that you need to move on, He is in a relationship with someone. It is a nice thought to not give up on things but it is a whole different ball game to try and sabotage someone's relationship. Your persistence isn't paying off, It is annoying him.
Sometimes we need to except we can't always have things in life. This guy moved on and you need to except and respect that. Coming between his relationship is going to cause him to resent you. He is TAKEN, Sorry for the caps but you should ve getting a hint...
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