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Girlfriend troubles: I can't seem to get a girlfriend
I can't seem to get a girlfriend. They all seem to ignore me. And after countless attempts by my friend I'm ready to get advice. So how do I get a girl to talk to me? Maybe go on a date?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Generally, people ignore those who are 'unattractive' to them. Although this may be stating the obvious, it is worth taking a long, hard look at yourself with the help of close friends and family.
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Start by being friends with them. I mean obviously a girl isn't going to say yes to a guy she hardly knows. So to become close to a girl, you'll be closer to getting a girlfriend.
It would really help more to know your age though.
You don't have to get a girl to talk to you. You need to talk to them. Introduce yourself. If you're in school, talk about schoolwork, teachers, ect. Girls like to be complimented. Don't shower one with a bunch of compliments but maybe compliment her eyes or her shirt or jewelry. Also, you don't want to ramble on about yourself. People like to talk about themselves.
You make friends with a girl the same way you make friends with a guy. Although if you talk to your guy friends about gross or inappropriate things, just leave that stuff out.
Once you make friends with a girl, then ask her on a date to the movies or some other activity. If she says no, there are plenty other girls in the world.
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Since I don't know what you are doing or saying to them or anything about your appearance, and mannerisms, it's hard to say where you might need a little advice.
Are you attracted to people (guys & girls) who are shy, and have a low self esteem? Most of us are not. How do you come across? You don't have to be a jock, look like a model to get the girl. While everyone has their own personal taste in looks, no one has to look like a hot movie star to get a partner. Make sure you deal with shyness if you battle that and become bold. I have an exercise I can share that helped me battle shyness as a teen. But since I dont know if you need that, you'd have to repost a question asking for help with shyness. I'll see it. Without shyness, a person comes across as bold, self confident and that is attractive to those of the opposite sex, no matter which sex you are.
So I will concentrate on conversing, what you say is very important. Do you talk AT people or do you talk with them. Ask your guy friends. If you do all the talking, telling people one fact or detail after another of what you know, you did, you think without ever asking them questions about themselves and giving them a chance to talk, then you are talking AT someone. A guy might do this out of nervousness of just talking to a girl or it may be something called Aspergers syndrome which some people are born with. Just like people who are Dyslexic, being aware of it is half the battle won and paying attention and trying extra hard to not do it will make all the difference.
So as to actual words said, I know even women will do this with a cute little girl, use her appearance as the conversation opener. "Aren't you the cutest thing, You look so pretty and grown up in the dress. This is bad. It teaches girls that their appearance is the only way they are going to get a guy. Those are the gals who wear the latest fashions and fuss with their makeup hair and nails all the time. So they are generally noticed first before the pretty girls who go for the natural look and just being themselves. I would focus on going for the girl next door type rather than the Hollywood types. Deep down inside all females want a guy to ask them questions about themselves and show a genuine interest and what she says and reveals. It works with 5 yr olds through 95 yr olds. Try not to make your first comment be her looks, "You are looking awesome today. Hey I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me." Bad. Most girls will want to get to know a guy first before going out with him. They want to feel a true bond of friendship before going on to romance. This is a good thing to learn now because later in life, marriages without a base of friendship won't survive if it's only based on the sex.
Make your opening question something related to where you are at that moment, whats going on around you or something you've heard or seen on TV. And make it something that cant be answered yes or no or the conversation ends there as there is nothing for you to latch onto that she said to carry on the conversation. Then after you have commented on her answer, Mention something about yourself like, I am a movie buff and always wanting to find another good movie to watch. What are some of your favorites. Now you have switched the conversation to asking her about herself. Women have invisible antennae that are good on picking up when someone is truly interested or not in what they have to share. So either be truly interested in what you hear from them and make mental notes to remember these things, or if you nothing much in common, try another gal. Do not change who you are to pretend to have things in common. Doesn't work. Hope this helps.
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