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Fake Friends Hurt
I've had a close friend since the ninth grade. it's been 2 and a half years and we are still friends... "friends". I don't feel the same way about her as I did then. I feel like any other friend I ever had has done to me. They built up this competition between the two of us. It's ridiculous. We're friends it should not be this way. Only every girl I have ever gotten close with does this to me. I don't care if she is smarter than me or thinner than me but it occurred to me the past year that this is exactly what worries her. Being the better of the two of us. It hurts because I've done this so many times and although the most reasonable thing is to just not let it get to me and not let her be as close to me as I used to let her. It's just so much history to let go of.
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And this explains why your so often see girls in triples - two reasonably ok-looking girls and one not-so-ok looking. The ok-looking ones have her around so they have someone to dump on other than eqach other, and the not-so-ok one takes the abuse because the guys have to assign a wingman to, uh, deal with her.
It works well for everyone.
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I am not sure I understood correct but if your friend is being influenced so easily by other girls to compete against you, then it shows she is
1. easily influenced
2. has no back bone
3. caves in under peer pressure
Not everyone matures at the same rate. In a couple more years she might mature enough to realize how good and true of a friend you were and come back to you. If she does, give her a chance to prove herself changed. If so, accept her back in. Don't hold against her what she was too weak as a teen to learn. If she hasn't changed, don't take her back as a friend because friend isn't the proper word for someone who toys with your feelings. Currently she does not know how to be a friend. So look elsewhere. I know darn well that no matter at what age, whether still in school or out in the work force, there will always be the people who have no friends. seek them out and befriend them. My daughters never lacked for good friends in high school. They befriended the overweight girls, the shy ones, the gay, the bi sexual ones who heterosexual girls were afraid to be friends with,
the pagan, or witch, the ones with social behavioral conditions that turned people off such as Aspergers syndrome. All of these can make good friends because they aren't looking to compete with anyone, all they want is someone who will be a true friend and like them for who they are inside. They are the few who are not into their looks 100% of the time, changing their hairstyle, cut or color more often than one changes oil in the car, nail art, toe art, jewelry, tattoos piercings, and clothing that is name brand, the latest greatest, and shoes, more than they can give you a number of what they have, makeup has to be perfect. Think about it...They strive so hard to make the outside look what they think is appealing because they don;t feel self assured inside, and maybe don;t even like themselves. Thats as bad as skinning a knee, having ground in dirt and all you do is cover it with a bandaid so no one has to see it without addressing the issue of germs and sterilizing so under the bandaid pus begins to form. Yeah real smart huh? Not. Spend your time for those who know who they are inside and won;t change who they are to please the majority. They have the backbone to stick with who they are even if it means they have no friends. The 3 points that your friend struggles with, these people have aced. But it doesn't mean they don't hurt as you do. They hurt too. Maybe they struggle with forgiveness, maybe they feel bitter towards some people. But instead of acting upon these feelings and making things worse...they stay to themselves and keep hoping for someone like you to come along. Go find them dear!
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