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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

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One of my best friend is done the court marriage before 5 months ago. but few days back his husband is traying to breke with her because his family is not allowing . so what should she have to do??

It is an unfortunate thing when inlaws on one side or the other or from both sides interfere with the decisions of their children. They can not live their lives through their children unless the children are weak in give in to the pressure of the parents.
If two adults are in love and have married and are willing to make their committment work no matter what, then it may require cutting off relations with any interfering family.

She can not make this happen on her own. If her husband is weak and willing to allow his family to make decisions for him, then he is not yet a strong man able to stand on his own two feet and will not in the end result make a good marriage partner.
If she finds a way to convince him to resist, he'd have to be willing to move somewhere, change phone numbers and maybe even names to avoid interferance from family. For many, no matter how wrong their family is, they cannot make that kind of change to cut off family. Thats where the saying "blood is thicker than water' comes from..the blood relations have more sway over some people than the mate they have chosen.
If he was not willing to hide from family but try to remain married, their life will be nothing but hell, she'll be miserable and in the end it could still destroy the marriage. The stress could bring depression or ill health to either or both of them. It's a nasty situation. All your friend has control over is over what she decides to do, how she decides to view it and how she responds to it. If the man is already pulling away from her...no matter how much it will hurt her heart, looking back 20 yrs from now, she may be glad she let him go. However, she could also have regrets if she knew she never fought for him. But she must go in knowing that she could possibly lose the fight but she will at least have peace knowing she did everything possible. Its a hard decision but one that is hers to make

I have been dating this lady and I love her very much. But lately, I have been feeling like an outsider in my relationship. She has this friend who she will tell our problems too, but only a half truth of it. This friend doesn't want her with me, she is single and wants my gf to be single also. My gf also talked to her therapist about me and said something that was only half true. Her therapist without ever talking to me made an unfair assessment and diagnosis about me that isn't true. I feel very hurt, I do love her but I dont know what to do. I can't talk to her, she justifies what her friend is doing. I feel like a complete outsider in my own relationship. This friend also told her that she is going to purposely cause upset to the relationship, everytime she talks to this friend she comes at me all mad. Someone help please

Thank God you're not Married!!!
If your ladyfriend is so easily influenced by her girlfriend is making her life decisions, her level of maturity may not match yours. And that does not work in a relationship because it takes both people putting in maximum effort to make a relationship successful. Some peoples bodys mature but they can go an entire lifetime without any growth in their level of mental maturity.
You did not mention any ages. So I will add this piece, the frontal part of the mind responsible for making good decisions doesnt finish developing until people reach their mid twenties!
Think about all the relationships and dating that young people are involved in before age 25. That explains lots why relationships dont last or have many issues at younger ages.
Unless you were married and it was a marriage counselor, the therapist is never going to see both people and can only go based on what a person is willing to tell and how they paint the picture. So advice from this quarter will never be the correct if the person giving info isnt being honest with themselves and the therapist. LIke computers, bad data in, bad data out.

Since it takes two to make a relationship, there will always be something on parts of both people that contribute to the problem. One person being willing to change and grow isn't enough. Thats where I was in first marriage. I was making all the changes and it was never good enough because he felt nothing was wrong with himself.

You have some hard decisions to make. At some point, she may realistically leave you totally. Or you can choose to leave now. Or hang in there and wait for the slow death of the relationship.
Both of you need to be willing to work things out together. Communication seems to be happening everywhere but with you two.
Sharing details of private problems with others outside the relationship as she does breaks down confidentiality and trust.
Without good communication and trust, the relationship can not live. It is in the stages of dying right now so if things are not quickly turned around by the two of you both choosing to work together on it, then it will die.
I have written a piece about the steps toward a committed lifetime relationship.
It starts with seeing someone you are attracted to, then conversing, then dating, then steady partnership to a committed relationship. Some people never progress. At any point it is okay to realize you are with the wrong person and choose to back out. The longest amount of time is spent at the last two levels. The first are short temporary parts of the progression, but some people get stuck there. I have nothing to tell you how to save the relationship because there is nothing you can do to change her, only change how you handle this. But i wish you the best. heres the piece i promised.

The Normal steps to a Relationship

Attraction: Whether just plain looks or a pheremone attraction. It doesn't mean that either one "Likes" the other yet so it is important to go beyond the staring at stage to conversation.

Conversation: Now you are talking and find that you like the persons sense of humor, how they think, their beliefs or way of living life...this is the teaser...either you decide you want to learn more in depth about the person or you decide you don't have enough interest from the conversation to want to learn any more. Someone not interested stops talking to the other and looks elsewhere. If both want to learn more about the other, you start dating.

Dating: Dating is not all about calendar appointments to go to a movie or out to dinner, or out dancing. It is a time to learn what you like and don't like about the opposite sex. Find out more about the person you have interest in which happens only if you start seeing each other regularly making it a conscious choice. If there are too many dislikes, start over again with someone new. Or take this to the next level. Usually a move to being a steady couple happens automatically without any conscious thought.

Steady relationship: This is meant to be a time where you have plenty of opportunity to spend in each others presence getting to see how they handle themselves 24/7 under all sorts of conditions, their good days, and bad days. Many choose to live together at this time. There isn't much that can be hidden when you live with someone, like their housekeeping habits, what their usual diet is, any mood swings, and by now there should be a good idea of what their normal sexual habits and needs are. You don't want to get matched up with someone who is the opposite libido level of yourself.

Committed relationship: Here there are vows and oaths made to each other, a professing of mutual love and devotion for each other and it goes beyond words to living it out daily in how one treats their partner. This person will be your life mate with a marriage license or without one.

Hi, 3 years ago I found out my wife was having an affair , maybe I pushed her away through working day and night ,then I met my wifes colegue who is much younger was in a bad way , I decorated her flat and tried to help her as much as I could I felt so sorry for her and became a close freind .Then I fell for her we became lovers and soul mates this is it I thought shes the one know 3 years later she wants to be just freinds after letting me spend all my time , money and most of all loving her. Before anyone judges me or her she came from an abusive family and she feels so much guilt it took the fun from our relationship know I love this lady who is 24 while I am 40 more than anything but her freinds have taken against me because of my age and started to turn her against me , have I really done wrong loving someone who had nothing and who made me feel good again, know shes starting to go out and her freinds wanted to set her up on a date , I am mortified because I really dont want to lose her at all , but she is becoming more distant and just lately says its making her ill the guilt and if it came out she would take an overdose ,I know people will judge me but i can't help loving this lady more than i have ever loved anyone i am tottally loved up , not eating or sleeping and i can't stand the thought of losing her , although she is distancing herself from me , i feel like im just there for her when she wants me because we argue all the time too .

I don't know what your wife was doing during your relationship with the younger woman, but if she was also in another relationship, i think it's high time the two of you talked honestly and openly about what's going on. Either the two of you are mismatched and shouldn't be together or you have plenty in common and should stay together.

One thing that is a fact is that many people like animals, are not monogamous. WHile some are, most of us force ourselves into the monogamous role because that is all that society teaches us is okay and normal.
It couldn't be more wrong. However, there needs to be some real love and consistency in a marriage if you are raising children. It is a disservice to them if it's anything but that.
The only thing I can see wrong here, is not being honest with each other. There is such a thing as an open marriage, where both partners have someone else on the outside of the marriage. Here, Both of you will have agreed to be open and share about your situation, maybe who it is but not necessarily so there doesn't have to be any sneaking around. You are now being a responsible adult and a person of integrity by chosing to live such a lifestyle by agreement with each other. Some choose swinging, some chose polyamory. What you two are doing doesnt resemble either of those, it most closely resembles the open marriage but what's missing is the two of you being open. The 2nd relationship can be as strong and real as the first but should not destroy the first one. If you had been open, you could have the comfort and the consoling of your wife to help you through a difficult time.
Since your young ladyfriend has less life experience, she is possibly more prone to listen to any opinions without taking into consideration that these opinions are based on what is comfortable or good for the one giving their opinion, not on what is good for her. She needs to learn to make decisions based in her life on what she feels is best.
Bad part, there is nothing you can do to make her see the light and change.
No person has the ability to change another person. If we did, there'd be no free will and God would be forcing us to do stuff (essentially robots) and no choice of our own to learn and grow by.
Who knows if you'll ever find someone like that again.
So no matter if you and wife both have no one else at this moment...its time to talk...forgive for the past and come to some agreement for the future.
Children if there are any little or college age, are very adaptable.
Look how many are able to understand having 2 sets of parents, mom and dad remarried to new partners. It isn't the best but depending on how maturely the adults handle it, it wont have any dire effects on the kids.
Kids also do very well if parents have other sexual partners or relationships. I have many friends who are sex positive folk who engage in these lifestyles and the children were well adjusted...and in many cases grew up to know more about sex..the real facts than kids their own age. It did not cause them to have sex too early or even want the same sexual lifestyle choices for themselves. So there is no good arguments against an open marriage.
For the sake of possible STD's contracted, it is best to be open and have guidelines with your partner so they can go be checked if your other partner exhibits some symptoms. Good luck.

How do you make yourself squirt

Hello Hon.

There are some things you need to know about your basic anatomy and the best thing to teach it is visuals, models and diagrams.
While all women can have a g-spot orgasm, not all women can actually squirt or gush as some do with the g spot orgasm. I went looking on line some time in the past for the best and most up to date information on this subject and everyone seems to leave different pieces of information. If you did more research on line, you would hear that th

GSPOT video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yz68K2qAlkE&feature=c4-overview-vl&list=PLTXiNEUzXWKTfNYKThSk-kmJdf7AJRP5K

On squirting. Follow her link at bottom to part 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHIUt83srvc

and then Univ. of Oregon Health Ctr had a couple videos that are very informative on both the female and male parts regarding orgasm. Here they are.
part 4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVL_GudwAOI
part 5
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnEJ6bcVFsI&list=TLoW5IytjE5Qs

Have fun learning

To start out, I am 20/F. My boyfriend of 6 years is 21. We have lived together since we were really young, about 17/18 years old. Our relationship has been practically perfect, we have always been best friends and we get along great. This summer, however, I went away to work at an internship. This wasn't the first time we had been apart for long, in fact, we dated for a year long distance, so being away at camp was nothing compared to that. But at this internship, I met another guy. We became great friends, and felt a really REALLY strong connection to each other. He is married, and I of course am in a serious relationship, so we never let our relationship go further than really close friends... until the last night, we shared our feelings that we really really like each other, but we have to continue on with our "real lives" because we are both happy with our SO's. So we parted ways, and now... everything feels different. I get frustrated easily with my boyfriend, I feel like I am no longer attracted to him, and I am somewhat bored. Furthermore, I feel smothered... I guess at this camp I learned that I am still so young, and I still have so much to experience.

It's only been a week since I got back, so I know everything is still very new, but I can't stand the feeling that everything is going downhill. I still keep in contact with the other guy, and we care about each other very much. I can't stand the feeling that I am making my boyfriend jealous when I talk to this guy, even though I never cheated on him or even thought about cheating on him. My boyfriend obviously suspects that I like this guy, and that he is losing me... and the worst part is, I don't even really want a relationship with the other guy, he's married and I would never want to ruin that, but I can't help feeling this connection to him that I have never had with anyone else.

I just want everything to go back to how it was before. I feel like everything is so complicated now, when before, i had everything figured out. To make things worse, my bf and I share so much more than just a relationship, we also have an apartment together, pets, bills, debts, etc etc. This makes me feel even more tied down and I don't know what to do. I know I need to wait longer and feel the situation out a little bit more, but I can't stand the feeling that I am hurting my boyfriend in the meantime. I want to tell him everything that I am feeling, but at the same time, I feel like that would only make the situation worse, since we are not at a point where we would just break up.

Any advice?

You told a story that is basic biological body responses that can and will happen several times throughout your life and it does not matter if you are single or in a committed relationship. It doesnt matter if the relationship is a poor one or a wonderful one. I am talking about chemistry/instant attraction to someone. This happens to individuals who are not unhappy, not looking for someone else, but happens quite unexpectedly...I know. It has happened a handful of times in my life. Sometimes, it's just the meeting of eyes and you can tell by looking at his that the other person felt/is feeling the same thing you are. But the situation at that momemt is not perfect for you to have a chance to do as you did and speak. Others do get a chance to speak. What people who are truly single will do is likely start dating. If in committed relationships, they either have an affair on the spot or exercise self control and do nothing other than interact as friends. Which is what you did. Good girl!
Now for your situation, you said both of you were happy with your SO's. Or at least you thought you were. We don't know what the married mans true situation with his wife is. Perhaps it is the best most perfect match possible for him and it would be best for him to keep you in perspective and not allow himself to become too close to you in keeping in touch. Or maybe they have a great friendship, but the chemistry was missing and he did not know until he met you.

You could be in the same situation. The thing is to not over re-act. Give yourself some time. You have the experience of the other man fresh in your mind yet. But at the same time, evaluate what you have with your SO. Your subconscious mind is where all feelings and emotions come from. But it can be impulsive like a child. There is such a thing as NRE new relationship energy that is not what the true status will be once it wears off. It could be your subc. mind just registers the excitement of having met him and that seems stronger than what you have with your SO. I don't know how often you've been in touch in the weeks, but if its daily or several times a day, you gotta give your guy a break, that would look excessive to even me if I were in his shoes and give me cause to worry. Put yourself in his shoes, he went somewhere, met a gal who is married, comes back and starts chatting during the next couple days with her on line...don't tell me it wouldn't bother you. Yes, he's feeling something, whether worry, insecure or jealous, who knows. If you value him, pay him a little extra attention. Push yourself through it. Even if you see images of the other guy when you pay your guy attention. You need to be absolutely sure of your situation. Give it some time and see how you feel after a month. If you still feel that now that you have a comparison of what a real chemistry feels like and you realize you don't have it with your guy...then the fairest thing to do is let him know and start seeing other people while you switch to room-mate status and work on finding a different living arrangement. Very few people at your age of having met, find the person they will be with for life. Most people like myself, because of our inexperience at that age, think we've found the perfect person but because we have not dated around and experienced many people, we really lack perspective and experience. I married the first guy I met who seemed interested in me. We were a total mismatch for 30 yrs of marriage. Only you will really know what to do.
Perhaps fate brought this situation along for you to realize you have no chemistry with the guy you're with so that you would end it. Then you'd be free to go looking for a guy who is not married, whom you feel the same things you did with the married guy. Keep things in perspective tho...not just feelings based...he must also be your best friend and treat you well. Good luck dear.

20/f
So I've been dating this guy for almost three years now and he is the absolute best boyfriend he can be. He treats me very well, is always thinking of me and is very sweet. We've always gotten along and hardly ever argue about anything serious. The thing that's been bothering me lately is that I don't feel as sexually attracted to him as I once was. Every time I know he's about to make a move, I turn away or start doing something else and I don't even know why. I'm not ever in the mood for it anymore. I don't like to make out anymore or do anything sexual. I love him to death and I could see myself marrying him one day. I just don't understand how to make this better. I hate not being in the mood especially when he is. What should I do? We've tried new things to spark it up but nothing seems to work for me /:

There is something called new relationship energy, NRE which in the beginning of a relationship give a heightened awareness of all the sensations and emotions, feelings. So what might seem to pass for sexual chemistry and attraction is not actually true. After weeks or a couple months, maybe in some cases even 6 months, it wears off. What you are left with then is the true status of the relationship. This man deserves to be with a woman who has sexual attraction for him. You deserve to be with a guy who has all the wonderful attributes of him but whom you have sexual chemistry with. Some of us figure out subtle signs sooner with life experience. But at your age, you are doing the best you can. Its scary to move on and start the process over but that is part of the learning experience to better know what we do and dont like, what we want and can't live without in a relationship. Great friendship and great sexual relations are the two foundations on which each relationship rests.
So unless you have had a recent emotional trauma like losing someone to death or other extremely stress ful situation that can affect all our moods even sexual desire, then I would still figure its the lack of chemistry. It's not your fault or his. There's nothing you're doing wrong.
I was married 30 years to a man I had no chemistry with, and he didn't feel it for me. But immaturely, he blamed me for it tho I was willing to try all sorts of things like watching porn together....anything to make it work. Trust me, without chemistry, nothing is going to help. ONce there were children, I stayed because of the children. Partly Because of his frustration in not being sexually fulfilled, he began to verbally abuse me.
The only thing I don't understand is why you have been for him for 3 years...unless you didn't have the sex until real late in the relationship.
Even then, there should have been some subtle warnings that all was not right. Since this is probably your first long term relationship you have nothing to compare this to. If there is sexual chemistry, you will know it. How?
The moment you meet a person, even a perfect stranger, it may not be exactly his looks, but all of a sudden your body responds in sexual ways, your heart beat picks up, you tingle or have little lightning bolts course through your genitals, you are overwhelmed with longing and desire. Your palms sweat. You mentally start wishing you could have a chance to have conversation with the person to determine if there is a possibility of his being a best friend too...you know there is sexual attraction on your part. If he keeps locking eyes with you, likely there is a chance he has too. When you kiss, there are kisses that can make your heart jump and beat a beat harder at first...more from the anticipation your mind set up, but eventually as the kiss goes on, it levels out and though nice, is not making youPerhaps you thought that before being sexual with him, whatever you felt was enough to prove he was perfect for you feel like you are spinning out of control, that you have become a boneless mass and youPerhaps you thought that before being sexual with him, whatever you felt was enough to prove he was perfect for you can feel your crotch reacting really strongly...to spell it out, you feel your self becoming wet and engorged. Yes, I thought once at your age that it was something only made up in Romance novels. But trust me...it is true. It took me until my late forties before I left the husband I had no chemistry with and found someone I did have it with. I just wish now that I'd had this experience a whole lot earlier in my life. But better late than never. Have an honest talk with him. He may feel sexual attraction but one sided doesnt work. Or he may think what he feels is sexual attraction but then he hasn't experienced many relationships yet either to be able to know from experience.
Good luck dear.

Hi, im 21 years old girl. im loving him deeply. but he dumb me. he was very nice n was loving me but last 7 months he was cheated me. now i knw everything about him. but i still love him. i dont want to loss him but i really dont want to loss my self respect. feeling very upset n lonely. i wont b able to handle my self. please suggest me how can i solve this metter n how teach him that waht im facing. how can i get him back with that love.

You need first to understand the difference between love and lust. Lust is just a taking care of the bodys normal need for sexual release and the attraction is only skin deep, that means the only interest is in what the girl looks like on the out side. Love goes beyond the attraction to looks to who she is on the inside. He is attracted to her personality, how she thinks and acts, her beliefs and values.
I know thats the kind of guy you want. The one you love is not that kind of man. When we go into a relationship, no matter how good or how bad it is, there is a tie womens hearts seem to make with the guy. He doesnt deserve that love. You need to tell yourself that you can find someone better, Until you can convince your subconscious mind of this, you will always be wanting him.

You already said you don't want to lose your self respect, so stop seeing him. Make a list of the things you did not like about him like the lying, cheating, and make a list of the things you did like. Dating a man is all about having short learning experiences with each one...of what you did like and what you will not tolerate in a relationship. With the next one, you try to recognize the warning signs of the bad things you are trying to avoid in a guy. The warning signs are always there, often hard to recognize because of our inexperience at this age but always there. So learn a little more with each guy you date and the moment there is behavior that you will not tolerate, that means you have to lose self respect, then let the guy go and move on to the next. As you get better at recognizing the bad things in a man and back away from him, you will find the right one for you.

I just got hired at my job about three weeks ago. One of my trainers was a cute boy. He was very nice and taught me a lot, let me do things on the register that other trainers did not. We cracked jokes, got to know each other and everything. That was my first day. I'm now done with training and am able to be alone on a register. However, I did learn register faster than self checkout. My boss said he would keep me after one night to run me through everything. So, when I got assigned to self checkout and my cute trainer saw it, he said there's no time to wait and he will teach me how to do self checkout. So, we went down, he even took a late break to help me learn everything and even when he did take his break, he took it up front in case I had any questions. I am not in my third week of working there. He has no come to be more himself around me. He'll come over and help me if he sees me look confused or a customer seems a little angry. He was finished his break and was assigned to the self checkout that I was at so before he started, he got my baskets to put away, he stacked them up and started to walk over but he ran into me jokingly and said "you were in my way" and then went to put them away. But, I've noticed that he kinda has a rude sense of humor but only to me. Like, when he took over self checkout after taking my baskets back, he said "geez, log out already, nobody wants you here!" but he did chuckle a little and I told him it wouldn't hurt to be a little nicer and he said "did you happen to notice that I'm only mean to you?" Now, my boss is someone that I went to school with, he is twenty and I've had a crush on him ever since high school. So, as a joke with my friend, I call my boss "hot face number one" and my cute trainer "hot face number two." I was working self checkout tonight, my trainer walked over and said "I can't believe you think I'm number two! I'm not two, I'm number one." Then walked away. So, obviously he found out about that. I'm just asking this question to get other people's opinions on him. Do you think he is mean to me because he likes me? Do you think he said that about being number two because he really was offended that I think someone else is cuter? Or is he sarcastically mean to me and only me because he doesn't like me? Thanks!

When I was internet dating at late forties, I found even grown men have no idea what to say to women. Some are still mean, others just bungle it up in many other ways.
The key to remember is that every person has their own personal taste in what they see. I happen to like brunette men better than blonds or redheads. So if one guy is taking the time out to make sure he is in your vicinity a lot and actually speaking to you either really sweetly or sarcastically, he is trying to get a reaction to determine if you feel any attraction in return, thus his comment of sadness at you calling him "hot face number two".

The rude sense of humor only towards you could be an instinctive thing on his part to use to check out how self assured you are. Do you crack under it and become nervous and think you're doing a terrible job or do you see it for what it is, not meant seriously at all. He is waiting for a response from you. So if you have the slightest interest, which I think you do, then respond to him and have fun with it. Next time he says some cutting remark, dramatize up your response as if delivering a line in a corny play. For example:

"geez, log out already, nobody wants you here!"
Play the part of being overcome with sobs as you rest your bowed head against him and pretend to sob, "Nobody wants me? Not again! Everywhere I go, nobody wants me. Maybe no one will ever love me! Boo hoo hoo." Then pop your head up and grin at him. If the guy was smart, he'd quickly pat your back or something, enjoying the moment to actually have some contact with you and make some verbal response, hopefully an encouraging one at that point. By playing the melodramatic with him, you show that you see thru his tactics and understand his interest in you. So you've had a crush on your boss, other than friends, has he ever taken the pains to show you that he is interested in you. Has he taken pains to be near you and interact with you, other than what is normal for work? You didn't mention anything like that from him. Attraction has to be a two way thing. So there may be no attraction on the part of your boss. But there is from the 2nd guy. If you feel some attraction in return, go for it. He will drop the crazy joking as soon as he knows you have equal interest in him. The two of you haven't yet explored true conversation together yet. Find opportunities to talk at work a little and say something like, I enjoy talking to you and would like to talk more without the distractions of work, what do you say? You are at the conversation stage of a possible relationship and have to progress through it to the point you can decide you want to go further and date or decide to drop him. Here's a list of the different stages of relating and why:

The Normal steps to a Relationship

Attraction: Whether just plain looks or a pheremone attraction. It doesn't mean that either one "Likes" the other yet so it is important to go beyond the staring at stage to conversation.

Conversation: Now you are talking and find that you like the persons sense of humor, how they think, their beliefs or way of living life...this is the teaser...either you decide you want to learn more in depth about the person or you decide you don't have enough interest from the conversation to want to learn any more. Someone not interested stops talking to the other and looks elsewhere. If both want to learn more about the other, you start dating.

Dating: Dating is not all about calendar appointments to go to a movie or out to dinner, or out dancing. It is a time to learn what you like and don't like about the opposite sex. Find out more about the person you have interest in which happens only if you start seeing each other regularly making it a conscious choice. If there are too many dislikes, start over again with someone new. Or take this to the next level. Usually a move to being a steady couple happens automatically without any conscious thought.

Steady relationship: This is meant to be a time where you have plenty of opportunity to spend in each others presence getting to see how they handle themselves 24/7 under all sorts of conditions, their good days, and bad days. Many choose to live together at this time. There isn't much that can be hidden when you live with someone, like their housekeeping habits, what their usual diet is, any mood swings, and by now there should be a good idea of what their normal sexual habits and needs are. You don't want to get matched up with someone who is the opposite libido level of yourself.

Committed relationship: Here there are vows and oaths made to each other, a professing of mutual love and devotion for each other and it goes beyond words to living it out daily in how one treats their partner. This person will be your life mate with a marriage license or without one.

19/f
One of my former best friends from high school and I had a huge fight at the end of our senior year. It ended our friendship. It's hard on me because she constantly talks about me/posts things about me on her blog when this all went down over a year ago. I need to move on and not be so bitter and angry over it anymore, but I don't know how to start. How can I get over this and not allow her to affect my life and how I'm feeling anymore?

Zane is right. I just want to give a real life example that all turns out well.
At one point, my abusive ex agreed to a divorce but when it came right down to it, he didn't want me to leave and wouldn't cooperate so I left and went far. I had a few close friends in our circle of friends who did not believe the horrible things he started saying about me once I was gone. She sent me a sample of an email everyone got. I am sure he posted stuff elsewhere on the internet. She only sent the sample because I didn't believe her. She just wanted me mentally prepared for the time I would return, which I did as my grown daughters lived in the area too. Yes, there were people who believed him. I was never close with them anyways. What I discovered was that those who believed him were the ones who really knew me the least or they would have known it was nothing but vengeful stories. They would have known my true character and never have been even the slightest tempted to wonder if there was any truth to it. So I stood strong. The whole battle is in your mind. It was easy once I was several states away. Once I was back, I let my mind briefly entertain the thoughts of wondering how people would receive me once they knew I was back. It's amazing what entertaining those thoughts can do to you emotionally. At once I felt the anger you feel, betrayed by so called ex and friends. But I didn't like how it made me feel so I made a choice to look at it for what it was, souls who were less mature than myself and had every right to move through life more slowly and not mature and grow at all if they wished. God doesn't force us to change or we wouldn't have a free will. Once I realized it was about free will, I couldn't be angry with other adults who spiritually were more at the two year old stage. Its all about how you choose to think.

So Every time such a thought comes along, you have to retrain yourself how to think. It's stinking thinking. It comes from your subconscious mind where all our emotions and feelings are controlled by. Give yourself a pep talk. Tell yourself that your ex best friend has every right to be immature and not grow up. That there is nothing you can do to change her or any other human who might believe her. And any acquaintances or friends who choose to believe her, weren't worth being your friend to begin with. Tell yourself she's actually doing you a favor by weeding out the weak people from your life. Go out and make new friends and cherish the ones who never fell for her lies.

I was actually surprised how rumor spread that I was back and couples actually chose to call me and want to keep in touch with ME not him. It becomes even more obvious to those who were undecided about what was true or not when they see your behavior. Since I was not acting bitter or angry towards him or saying anything bad about my ex, the undecided quickly realized I was the guiltless party. They could pick it up in my energy, they could sense it even without words spoken. In fact quite a few people shocked me by revealing what they did not do while I was still with them. . . that he had made the moves on the wives of many couples trying to entice them to leave their husbands to be with him. Thats not the reason I left, he was abusive. One could make up a story. But when couples who didnt know each other were all giving me such stories, it was confirmation that as scary as my new path was, I did the right thing to leave him. You are doing the right thing wanting to move on. You may have to say "I reject these negative thoughts" every 10 minutes, maybe hourly maybe daily... but as time goes on, you will have retrained yourself and it becomes less and less until it no longer affects you.
Another trick is to actually be thankful to your ex friend for her betrayal because it provided you with an opportunity in life to learn how to forgive, to understand, to choose to learn a better way to think, etc... which would not be possible when all was honky dory. It's in the conflicts and battles that we learn to grow, not in times of peace. Good luck dear.

I want to feel worthy of living. I don't feel I deserve anything I have/ever will. I think about the roof I have over my head and feel guilty because there's someone my age who's much smarter and prettier out there who doesn't have a good home, and I do. I almost feel as if I'm stealing from someone who actually deserves the things I have. Even breathing gives me anxiety, I feel like I'm taking oxygen from people who actually matter.

I feel like a humongous waste of space and time. I wish so much that someone else had been born into this situation in my place. I have no idea why God put me here. But then sometimes I think, "Without ugly people, there are no beautiful people." and like, SOMEONE has to have an average IQ, I guess.

These feelings have been growing since I was 10. I'm 19 now, and I don't think I can take much more of this life. I've stopped praying because I feel like I'm bothering Him. And I know that's not true, but I feel like that anyway. I have a lot of friends, but I'm always the one comforting THEM and listening to THEIR troubles. They don't feel like they have to care about my worries. I always pretend like I'm happy, I've gotten so good at it, I almost fool myself. But I have this constant depression cloud hanging over me, sometimes it's impossible to ignore.

To release some tension, I've taken to cutting myself secretly. It's always in covered places, if you can see them I always have an excuse. I looked up how much aspirin it would take to kill a person, separated that much into a plastic baggie and keep it in my sock drawer. I made a post-suicidal apology video. Literally the only reason I'm still alive right now is because of how much it would scar my mother. I honestly don't know why she loves me, my other siblings are astronomically more talented and beautiful. When I drive across bridges on the highway, I have to restrain myself from driving off them. I'm not afraid of dark and empty parking lots or anything because if someone killed me, I'd be relieved. And as sick as this is, sometimes I daydream about getting a terminal illness, not telling anyone about it, and dying a few days later.

I'm not looking for a pity-party, or anyone to tell me not to do it. I hate it when people use cutting or suicide threats for attention. I want to know how I can tolerate myself again, and maybe even learn to like me. I don't know how much longer I can go for anymore. I can feel myself coming to my limit. Soon my mom won't even matter to me. I already know Jesus loves me no matter what, and however I die I'll be with him. But... At the same time, you get one life. This is it. Any tips for me to want to continues living? Much appreciated, sorry for the length, thanks for your time.

I believe adviceman has a good point it does sound like survivors guilt. So if there is nothing in this lifetime that could have caused it, then perhaps it is something that your soul remembers from a past lifetime, and that will cause the equally strong feelings and emotions. No matter which is causing it, yes you need to see someone professionally to begin to heal and overcome it. Though with a past life experience being the cause, you may want to have someone who specifically advertises that they work on past life regressions, it's like hynotherapy, taking you back to an event that far back. Once your mind is put to rest and okay with that situation, the effect in the current life will be immediate.

You mention praying and asking God for help. I used to be in the Christian belief and Holy Spirit slowly taught me how to fully trust him by giving me things to say to people that I wouldn't have possibly known about what was going on in their life, usually the right scripture verse, somethings just a phrase or encouragement. So when I was told to open my perspective and know that we do get several lives, not just one, I knew from experience I was hearing from the Holy Spirit, not the devil. I can't hope in this message to convince you of that. Hearing back specific things from God takes lots of practice of talking and not hearing, until one day, after getting good at sending out messages, our 'radio' is finally tuned to the right station and we hear back. Yes, Jesus loves you and probably wishes you could hear him so He can tell you what to do and encourage you. The best I can say is that hearing Jesus is much like hearing your own thoughts in your head, its like talking to what some call, their higher self or their inner voice. No matter what people call it, it's God. Sometimes we just don't recognize it. And often we have to go by not words but a gut feeling we get. Each of us has a small piece of God living inside of us...everyone even those who live a life doing the opposite of what our Heavenly father does. Many never realize He's there. So He isn't far away dear. He is there inside of you. He lived a human life so he can know what it really feels like to be overwhelmed, upset, angry, and yes, maybe depressed. Don't you think he ever felt depressed after delivering a speech and everyone clapped and said what a great message and every single one proved the next day by their actions that they didn't get it? I think he had to deal with it. No one is going to tell you that though. All they were willing to show in the Bible is that "Jesus wept." and got angry with the money changers.
I dont know how much your parents know of how you feel or your pastor. Or if you have tried and their attitudes are not helpful. I can easily see some churches saying if you are feeling suicidal that you under the possession of a demon. All a bunch of misconceptions that have grown over history. There is no longer any such thing since Jesus came and died. Yes there was before he came and thats why he was casting em out while on earth. I know from my church that we were told our faith was strong enough if we weren't getting results and that we just needed more faith. Thats not helpful But If the church isnt a problem, tell mom and dad. They as your parents must love you very much and a parent would do anything to help their child. I am a parent of 3 daughters. I have had to help 2 of them through depression. One needed medication the other, it was more her mind set and willpower that made the difference as there was no chemical imbalance in the body.
If you have told the parents and they aren't helpful, i am sorry to hear that.

Basically, your actions need to be two fold. One, start seeing a counselor. If you don't connect with that person, see another until you have found one that is right for you.
Second, work on hearing your inner voice from God. Who was it who laid out the fleece and asked for a sign from God? This is one way to get your communication from God going. You wrote a lot to us to explain but I feel there may be some vital pieces of info I dont have that you don't think relevant. But God knows those. If you wish to talk to me again, you may write to my inbox. I wish you the best dear. But you have to start reaching out. You don't show your friends you are hurting...so many will simply not know. No one I worked with ever knew my first husband was abusive.. They only knew when I told them why , that I was leaving my job abruptly to finally leave to another state due to abuse. I am not worried about your cutting. That will eventually stop when you get the right help for your mind and your troubled heart and soul. Write me anytime. Talking about it to someone, even those you dont know is reaching out in a way...good way to get used to doing that. And since I am a stranger, it's easier to share with strangers. But I do care. Blessings to you dear.

What could be wrong with me, whenever i have a romance with my boyfriend and when he sucks my breast i feel some pains in the breast even after the foreplay. unless i stop for a very long time before it stops. what could be the reason?

If you never had this problem until you had this boyfriend, then nothing is medically wrong with you.

It should be a pleasurably arousing experience.
Although I will admit my body had to learn how to react to that. It didn't at first when I had sex first time at 19.
Perhaps he sucksIf the two of you get tested for STI's and are too hard like when making a hicky.
I don't find that to be pleasurable to begin with.
If I have my breast handled or squeezed too hard by my husbands hands it hurts. I say OW, and he immediately releases or gentles his grip.

Is this your only sex experience? If so, you have nothing to compare it to to know if another man might be gentler, or if your partner is too rough. Breast cancer is the silent killer cus women don't feel any difference, no pain, it's only found by feeling for lumps other that the normal lumps of the milk glands and sacs that lie in wait for when they are needed to breast feed a child. It is perfectly normal to include breast play in foreplay and sex.
Its pleasurable for the woman and the man absolutely loves it! Suckling gently, using the tongue to flick the nipple back and forth...all gentle stuff. No chomping down or anything. Theres a reason babies dont come with teeth or they'd never get breast fed.
Try asking him to be gentler. You might try sucking on his nipple with the same intensity as he does to you to see if he likes it. Some men like their nipples sucked, and for others it doesnt do a thing for them or is actually uncomfortable. His threshold between what is still pleasure vs pain may be very different than yours. Talk about it with him. Communication is vital between sex partners/lovers

I know love is just supposed to be about love but realistically financial situations can easily ruin a relationship and I think it's already starting to tear apart mine.

Here's the deal. I've been with my boyfriend for a couple of months of now and we're doing really good. He's become my best friend and I almost believe he's my soul mate as silly as that sounds.
We'd never really fought before last night but I finally hit a weak point with him on the topic of money.

He's 21 and his parents pay for almost everything. He lives in an apartment outside his parents home and they pay for his schooling and rent. All he has to pay is like $100 a month for car insurance on the car that was given to him also by his parents and he doesn't even think he should have to pay that. He works about 25 hours a week at a local grocery store.

I work 40-60 hours a week and I'm 19. I pay $550 rent, $316 car payments, $180 car insurance, $50 cellphone bill, $150 groceries, gas and other living expensive all on my own. I don't have any help from my parents or family members.

Last week he decided not to go to work for a week. He didn't even take vacation he just didn't go so he didn't get paid today like he normally would. Well now he's saying he probably won't be able to see me this week unless I pick him up and that he's afraid the cash he has won't last him through the week for even himself and frankly that pisses me off.

He chose to not work and now he's realized he doesn't have any money and he's upset about it.

I wouldn't be so angry if he hadn't said I spend too much of my own money last night when I went over all of my finances with him (which isn't the first time it's been talked about) he kept saying that I was paying too much for them when clearly he doesn't understand how much it costs to actually support yourself.

Now it's like if I drive to him I pay for gas i pay for all of our meals I pay for everything. With that said I've been low on cash lately (I have $180 to last me until Friday) because he always wants to go out to eat for all of our meals and I almost always pay and I never had this issue before we started dating. I literally probably spend around $150 on him every week between eating out and gas for my car even with a hybrid.

On top of that I have the next week off which I'm taking vacation time for (I get paid) and just a couple nights ago we planned to go out of town. Now we can't go anywhere because he doesn't want to pay for anything and I'll be damned if I spend all of my money when he put himself in his financial situation so I'm probably going to spend the next week at home doing nothing.

What do you think I should do?

We'd talked about getting engaged in the close future and getting a place together but there's no way in hell I'm going to pay for everything and support him while he pulls crap like this.

He's basically a little boy in an adult body. His parents aren't helping by raising him the way they do with paying so much for him. People dont change overnight. In fact, once a person reaches adult hood as you both have, the patterns and habits have already been established and most people have trouble changing and growing in minor ways throughout life. Most never change anything in their entire life.

17/m

My girlfriend and I had sex twice. She was a virgin and I wasn't.

I am almost 100% the condoms didn't break or anything but she is now 2 days past when she was suppose to get her period and she is worried and getting more worried.

I know girls can be kinda late or early but since I am not a woman I don't have any idea on this stuff.

What could be going on? Should she be worrying?

Any info is helpful

If she is so worried, and she is 17,then she can purchase Plan B, tne morning after pill if it is still within 72 hours after sex.
The very fact that she worries and wonders if the condom wasn't enough is enough stress to compound the issue and make her even later on her period due to the stress of worrying. Do you best to keep her calm and take a pregnancy test later. Read the instructions on the packages. It will tell her when its too early to register any response yet.

If the two of you are going to continue being sexually active, she needs to go to Planned Parenthood for something more trustworthy so she doesnt freak out every time after you two have sex.
It's more carefree. If she is terrible about remembering to take a pill consistently, then she may want to go for the shot or an IUD. But that way she'll be able to relax.

I have been having unprotected sex with my boyfriend, neither of us were virgins when we met, couple days after having sex I realize that I have a bad odor(like a decayed animal). I don't have the funds to attend a gynecologist or doctor, what should I do? We both thinks it yeast, is it?

It could be bacterial vaginosis because the odor is the biggest symptom. You need to see a doctor to get a prescription to get over it. I have had that and I have had yeast infection. With yeast infection the biggest symptom was discomfort, itching even once pain so bad it hurt to sit or walk. You need to see a doctor for treatment of either one.
The following web MD article means what causes it to happen.
http://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/tc/bacterial-vaginosis-topic-overview

Many agree smoking, douching and new sex partners to be causes of these female problems.
I have my own personal opinion on the new sex partner part. In the beginning, when first with a new sex partner, we are more self conscious about ourselves and want to smell good and be very clean. So I believe that women either douche lots in the beginning with a new partner until comfortable with him or wash with soap and water. Douching and soap are known problems with upsetting the balance of the good bacteria in the special little ecosystem know as the vagina. Plain water on the outer lips and leaving the inside alone is good enough. Ever notice a little crusty discharge dried on panties when not having a period. It doesnt smell bad. Its your vagina's natural cleansing system. Go see someone for treatment and then practice correct care of the vagina to avoid it in the future.

My friends keep telling me to try online dating sites because its a good way to meet new people but I'm kinda skeptical about it. For instance if I do go on and I see someone I'm interested do I message them first or wait for them to message me. If I messaged a guy first would I look desperate. And how long do you talk to someone on these sites before you exchange numbers or decide to meet. Tell me what you think.

In ways, the inter-net keeps getting more dangerous. But if you are smart about it, you should never be at danger. And I used both sites mentioned already, Okcupid (which I like better, it has guideline/topic areas to fill out on profile) and I used Plenty of Fish, which can now found by looking for POF.
And that is where I met my 2nd husband. I had to go through a lot of duds, liars, and jerks before I met him though. There will be guys on there who are cheaters. But I was looking for something specific, and it sure cuts down on the slower process of seeing someone who looks attractive, doing the talking stage, then the dating stage, then to steady dating and finally to a committed relationship. If you are religious you put down it matters alot to you and you seek someone who believes the same way. Be very specific as to what points a guy must be able to pass before you will consider him. Think hard about your self. How do you describe for him who you are. Not where you went to school or your job/career, or what countries you've visited, that tells nothing about you. You also need to know what to put in profile that you are looking for in a man...your needs and wants.
Despite all the weirdo's and horny guys that write, I am still glad I did for I met my soul mate. Wish we had inter-dating when I was 20 so I couldve met someone much better.
Don't hand out a phone number until the guy who writes you has consistantly kept contact back and forth a few times. Many guys have no idea how to communicate. If you are talkative and the guy only writes two sentences each time, its a chance he's the quiet type. Or he needs lessons in how to communicate but thats not your job to give. Look for the intelligent man who has a completely filled out profile, leaving nothing for your to guess at. Stay away from those who talk in the negative ie I am looking for a woman who is not fake, is not a liar. If he says he is looking for a woman who prefers being real and open and is truthful in relationships...thats good. The ones talking in the negative never turn out to be good. I learned quickly. I also didn't want anyone who smoked. One guy coughed alot on the phone and I asked if he smoked. He said no. I finally met him in public at Starbucks. Always go for a public place and don't go out to dinner...it makes them think of it as a date and that you are more serious. A coffee shop is the perfect place. Met him in person and he was a heavy smoker. Thought that once I met him in person I might like his personality so much I would overlook that. Hahaha. There is soooo much I could tell and teach you to make this as worthwhile and hopefully successful as possible for you. So if you decide to go this way, keep me in mind and write directly to my inbox with any further thoughts and questions. Good luck to you dear

What are some really cute nicknames for my best friend Rylee.she likes rapping swimming and hangin with friends.???

Is this something all your friends do, coming up with nicknames? A nickname doesn't necessarily have to have any thing to do with the persons name or what they like to do but come about naturally from some event in the past like lets say as little kids, one friend was always the slowest at finishing their ice-cream cone and every one dripped all over their hand and down their arm, every time! So by the end of summer, everyone was calling her "Drippy"

It's not a tease to hurt her, it's just something, a piece of knowledge about that person that binds you all closer. Since I don't know your friend as you do, it would be hard for me to guess.
If you want to do a rhyme-ing name, there's Smily, Wily, Or is there something in swimming that stands out, different or better than the rest of you? Does she stick strictly with dog paddling. In that case referring to dog somehow like Sea-dog. Okay, I know that sounds corny but come down to it, most pet names, nicknames for friends are gonna be in some way corny. Have fun with it. You'll come up with something

Ok I'm 10
years old and can anyone tell me how to masterbate please give me some advice it would help me a lot

You didn't say whether you were male or female. So I will offer both. A male uses his hands on his penis with a little lube and use an up and down motion. Experiment with speed and pressure and you will get with works best for you.

For females, there are a few more options. Use a finger with lube to stimulate the clitoris, or use a dildo or vibrator. Although underage are not allowed anywhere that sells pornographic movies and other such things, a few have mentioned obtaining vibrators at a non pornographic sex store. They found some at Spencers. Or any pharmacy sells body massager/vibrators by home-medics or other brands. While it cant be used internally, it would work well as an external vibration used to stimulate the clit. You may even wish to try stimulating your g-spot. It's about two inches in on the upper wall of your vagina. It's a rougher patch of skin. It's covering an area that had the urethra of the bladder behind it so you may feel the urge to pee. Thats normal. Empty bladder first so you know its empty. You use a 'come here' motion with the fingers, bent and curling over and over starting slow and then faster and harder which will sensitize and engorge the area with blood so it swells like the cock does when aroused. These produce the full body orgasm while focusing on the clit produces a more localized orgasm.

16 Female
Both male and female answers.... but I mostly want a guys opinion on this! Thanks :)

I like this guy and he likes me. We are going out. He is 18 and I'm 16. He has already had sex. And I haven't. He wants to have sex, not right asap, but he doesn't want to have to wait so long for it. I understand what he means by it because I care about him and I don't want him to feel like he doesn't get pleasure in that way. He respects that I'm a virgin and doesn't pressure me into having sex, and that I'm nervous about having it. His birthday is in two months and I was thinking about giving in to him then. My one question is am I ready to have sex with him? Or do I just hold off on it. My other question is would his birthday be a good time to give him sex?

The question isn't whether it's an appropriate thing to give as a gift, or what day, time or occasion is proper for your sexual debut but whether he is someone you really care deeply about, hopefully love, and want to share that love in one of the most special ways a couple can mutually share that with each other. Otherwise, it is nothing but satisfying a lusting for each other, taking care of a sexual urge, like scratching an itch. Scratching an itch isn't a bad thing. It can bring temporary relief.
So it boils down to you. Take the focus off the boyfriend and think about yourself. It's best if you were having sex for the right reasons. Read back over what you wrote to us. Maybe you put down a bad choice of words. Or maybe, your subconscious mind is telling what its really concerned about deep down that your conscious mind isn't acknowledging.

You said, "and I was thinking about giving in to him then" Giving in means you are resisting, that he can make it appear that he isn't pressuring you, or maybe he isn't, but your mind feels you are being pressured, maybe just by yourself (such as your conscious mind trying to pressure your subconscious mind into going along with this idea. ) It's a bad idea to be at odds with yourself. Do not fight yourself and don't ever give in and do something (not just sex) that you don't feel deep at core ready to do.

You also said, "Or do I just hold off on it."
Holding off on anything means that the timing isn't right. Perhaps deep inside you simply don't feel ready to have sex for the first time.

Lets say the only determining factor was whether both of you loved each other since I mentioned earlier sex as an expression of love. Sex can also just be a biological thing, taking care of a sexual need, urge. There are relationships where its called "Friends with benefits" but it is hard for an inexperienced young gal to not get her heart involved and possibly hurt or disappointed in her experience either right away or later.

You said, "I like this guy and he likes me." Like is a good enough status for 'friends with benefits'. So are you just wanting to experience sex for the first time, or are you wanting to experience a love relationship that shows that love through the giving of sexual pleasures mutually to each other? Nowhere did I see you state he loves you. He likes and like is a good start. But people just don't all have sex with every person we "like". There has to be a chemistry between them, an actual sexual desire for the other, wanting them sexually.

And finally, I share with you a short 3-4 min video on losing virginity done by a peer...she's 23 and one of the best on you tube. I suggest you get yourself educated because the schools aren't teaching this stuff. Its on the level, good stuff, entertaining. Please consider viewing the video and try to watch other of her 160 videos on all topics concerning dating, relationships and sex. It's up to the individual these days to educate themselves. thanks for writing in so I could share this all with you dear.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-hUbI8my0Q

I'm 13, whenever I drink redbull I start feeling sick, not straight away though,like a hour later but its like hectic nausea. Can it be the redbull? And if so why? I drink it a lot so its not like my bodys not used to it.

If you are not eating healthy meals, your body is not getting the nutrients it needs to function. Imagine how well the family car would run on a tank full of Redbull. even if you eat well, you counteract and zero out any benefits the food may have had when you take in these high amounts of caffeine and/or sugar.
Your body might have gotten used to it but once pushed beyond it's limits to remain healthy, you will eventually find yourself having chronic problems that you were never born with...they come about by the abuse to your body. A body can be pushed to the point of needing to be on dr. prescribed medications just to remain alive. You think you have your whole life ahead of you so no need to worry. But you are actually taking years off your life which you will begin to worry about when you hit 30 or 40. What if doing redbull were to have the affect of ending your life at 50. You die...would that thought be enough to get you to kick the redbull habits and any other bad habits you haven't mentioned.
Your only get this one body to make it through a whole lifetime, if you are abusing it, your body will first give you signs it wants you to stop like this "feeling sick and nauseous" stuff.
If I were you, I'd stop right now but you will need lots of willpower cus it's an addiction.

My husband really gets on my nerves but I'm not sure if he's to blame. I think I am a difficult person to live with. I am highly strung and lose my temper really quickly. He does things that wind me up again and again always promising he won't do it again. He invariably does. If he does or says something stupid I tend to blow it up out of proportion. When I do this he gets angry too. I wish he could stay calm and help me to calm down but when he gets annoyed I get even worse. I want things done my way and if he doesn't agree I lose it. I had a difficult childhood and wonder if I'm trying to gain control now or maybe I'm just a nasty woman. I think he would be better off without me but he says he doesn't want us to separate. I don't think I can stand this unhealthy relationship much longer but how do I stop or escape.

Your subconscious mind isn't all too sure that is it just your temper, wanting control, short fuse that is to blame. You were quick to admit it.
I am guessing that although you need to work on it... something else came first to cause it to come to the surface.
I know from being in the wrong relationship myself 30 yrs of marriage, that even though I was usually successful at not reacting or losing my cool, that the stress of the relationship still would bring nasty vindictive behaviors to the surface. I am not like that at core but the stress can make a person lose it either once in a while or all the time.

Could it possibly be that the two of you were never meant to get together? People can be mismatched to the point that your normal pleasant conversation pushes buttons and sets off your partner. I experienced that. It got worse. We were sexually mismatched. He could please other women as we found out after our divorce, but there was no spark or chemistry for either of us. I didn't thrill him and he never gave me orgasms. Then again for some people, Sometimes it is the good sex that is the only thing keeping a relationship limping along that is not a good match in other areas. My ex didn't want me to leave either. I was kind of his security blanket, so he didnt have to feel alone or abandoned. He was willing to remain unhappy with me just to not feel alone. Yes, thats nuts....all of us tend to make that choice somewhere in our lives, stick with where we are unhappy (even a job) because change is scary, there's a big unknown out there.

I feel that you are needing more to hear that someone agrees that both of you would be better off without each other. And you may have a point here. So you have two choices and both involve you getting some self help books or see a counselor and work on yourself first. You can choose to try and do that while still with him, or choose to do so after leaving him...that way there is less stress. Everywhere in life, you will come across opportunities to test your new peaceful self controlled state. But the strongest test will be in another relationship. We tend to attract that which we are inside. If we have issues to still work out, we'll attract others with issues, and those who are more loving and mature will attract the like. So don't be surprised to find yourself dating another man who brings up your anger again. You will be tested, more for you to know where you are at and what you still have left to work on. Its a process, so as you get better, you will attract better men.
Good luck dear and if you ever need to talk again, just message my inbox.

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