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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
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Hey, guys! I'm a 20 year old female. I'll be 21 in 2 months :D. I am in my third year at the university, and I have been given the opportunity to graduate early. I am thankful enough to have my scholarship cover for summer classes, so this has really helped me, as I have taken every summer at my school. My graduation date, upon entering, was set to Spring 2013. But, I can decide to change that to December 2012, just by taking this last summer of college. Yet, there's a few catches!
Since, my school is in Florida, and runs through the state system, when applying to grad school, admissions focuses on your last 60 credits only. They also only consider your upper division (last 60 credits GPA). I already have quite a few upper division classes. My lower division classes (first 60 credits) are not as good as my last. I went though A LOT when first starting college. First of all, I was battling an eating disorder and going to therapy almost every day. I also found out 2 weeks before starting school that I was adopted. I met my biological parents the my second semester of school. It was very emotionally overwhelming. Now.. my grades are not TERRIBLE. I just got some B-'s, like two C's. It wasn't like I was failing. I would say my cumulative GPA for my first 60 credits was like a 2.9 or a 3.0 (so that's about a B average). My upper division GPA is a 3.7 (my whole GPA now is like a 3.4). I expect to keep it this way because I am taking classes that I like now. I've gotten rid of the classes I just had to take as requirements.
So, the due date for applying to grad school in the Spring is in October. In October, I will not be done. So, they will not see all of my upper division coursework. They will be waiting for a whole semester of grades. Of course, if this is the case, I can always get proof that all of these things happened and they will see improvement, which is good. Yet, if I graduate in the spring (and do not take summer classes), the due date to apply is in June! They will see all of my classes, I will still be graduating on time, and I am starting school in the Fall. The other good thing about graduating in Spring is that I get this summer off and next summer off too. I haven't had a summer off school since the summer going into senior year of high school! I can also take advantage of this awesome opportunity at my school called Peer Advising. You get paid and you are recognized by the school and get a lot of honors, which is good for grad school (I am applying to the same university). This is something great that I've been wanting to do, so it would be nice.
The reason I want to graduate early so much is because it's driving me crazy to live at home. Nobody respects my personal space or my school work. I can never study at my house and my mom gives me a hard time about staying in the library at night because she's afraid that something is going to happen to me. I also live like right next to my school so it's annoying to drive back and forth every day. I have to drive to my area because my gym is here and all of that. I am not exaggerating about this at all. Like... I really can't study in my house. My family just walks into the bathroom when I am using it (without knocking). I don't have a room as of right now because everyone goes in and out as they please, makes a mess, and now it's like a storage room. I don't fit inside my desk because it's like from fourth grade. My mom doesn't realize all the work I have to do, trying to balance a job with school and all my other responsibilities. She doesn't work or anything, so maybe she just doesn't realize. It's not out of malice. I'm just tired. I love my family, but they are not realizing. I was hoping that I can move into my own apartment once I graduate because I can find a better job. I am studying guidance counseling and I was hoping that I can find a job in a school or something. But, once I have my bachelor's, I am will surely get paid better than what I am getting now. If I were going to another university, I would be living in a dorm. My mom actually wants me to have my own apartment. We live with my grandparents, and she realizes how I feel at my age. She wants to help me. But, she can't because she doesn't have a job right now. I could always ask my dad for the help. But, I'm not going to burden people. I would just need to find a good job that can pay for a place. I live in a very expensive city, so it's hard.
But, what do you think? Do you think that I should graduate early and move out... but risk having to take a year off school? Or should I graduate on time and start looking for a job within a school? My parents are willing to help me with an apartment in which ever way they can. But, they are not willing to pay for a dorm because it is a loss of money... since I live in the same city as my school.
I feel graduating on time is your better option at this time. Use your summer to hopefully find a job that will allow you to save enough money to either move into a dorm at school,share an apartment with someone or rent a room near school.
You should also look into being a resident dorm counselor or whatever your school calls the senior class person responsible for the dorm. This usually give the resident a dorm room to themselves at little or no cost in return fro them supervising the dorm.
This option corrects most of what is bothering you and allows you to graduate on time with all of your credits being available for graduate school.
i've been freaking out lately and i decided to get an hiv test tomorrow. my boyfriend and i have been together for a year and we've had unprotected sex everyday pretty much since then. he's in the military so he gets all std tests every year or so. he recently had one done and he doesn't have anything. i know understand that it doesn't necessarily mean i'm clear, but if i did have something, wouldn't he have caught it by now? what are the chances of that? thank you for answering.
EDITTED ANSWER: You didn't mention you were pregnant. If you had I would have answered differently
Having unprotected sex is not smart. Even having sex using a condom does not protect you from all STDs but it is far safer than totally unprotected sex. I think the omission of this information falls under my statement: "freaking out I believe is a fail safe mechanism forcing you to confront something that is causing you to feel unsafe."
Yes being pregnant does give you reason to feel unsafe as you want to protect your baby. I still hope everything is negative. IF there is a problem please listen to your doctors and if you need advice write back. I'm sure people here will look to help you.
Getting tested is the smart thing to do. Your freaking out has to have some reason behind it which you have not shared with us. This freaking out I believe is a fail safe mechanism forcing you to confront something that is causing you to feel unsafe.
Even and hopefully when the test results come pack all negative my advise to you is to tell your boyfriend that from here on out; "No glove No Love."
Okay, I just got the HTC Evo, 2 weeks ago. I want to get the iPhone 4S in March of next year when I will have my Evo for about 6 and a half months, just in time for my trip across the world. It's only going to be about $100 because my contract would be up and since it would be up, I would get a discount. So, I told my mom that I would like to get the iPhone in March and she freaked out calling me spoiled, I just got a new phone, I don't need another. I am talking six months away AND I will pay for the iPhone with my own money! This is what grinds my gears, my brother smokes weed, he buys it all the time thus leading him to be broke constantly. She is okay with him using his money for illegal drugs and I can't buy myself a new phone with MY money? What is her deal? My dad agrees with her and they both said they aren't letting me get it. Why are they being so ignorant to me? I don't get it! Also, how can I talk them into letting me get the phone without them freaking out again? I love my Evo, it's a great phone, honestly. The only thing that makes me hate it is the battery, it lasts 4 hours and when I go across the world on my trip, I want to be able to take pictures and send them to the friends that I am there with and play games and find local restaurants on the internet without worrying about losing battery every time I click my phone on like I do with my Evo. Please help ):
We parents are a strange breed aren't we? If I'm reading this correctly your saying you're the good child and your brother appears to be the bad child. He gets away with everything short of murder and you are held to higher standards.
Relax your not alone in this dilemma there are probably a couple of million children like you. Your parents are not sure where they went wrong with your brother but they are damn sure there not going to let it happen with you, so they overcompensate. How do I know this, I'm a grandparent and this bit of wisdom comes with the age of being a grandparent.
I'm fairly certain there is a bit more to this story than what you have had time or space to share. In the same vain I'm sure your parents, if they shared their side, would put an entirely different spin on this story. I'm not going to try and explain what being a parent is like or try to be a referee.
What I will do is make a suggestion: It is the middle of October, your contract renews in March. Anytime after March you can purchase a new phone and receive the discount. So for now as far as purchasing the phone is concerned let it drop. On a grander scale of things at the moment it is far from the top of your list of priorities.
What you may want to do and I believe you should be doing as far as having a phone for your world trip is concerned. Is looking into the need to purchasing a phone once you get to Europe or wherever you are going. It is my understanding that our phone do not work well oversees and it is recommended that if you are spending any amount of time in a county, count Europe as one country, that it is suggested you purchase a cell phone designed for use over there.
While doing this find out what companies are best to contract with and which phones will be able to be converted to a carrier or your carrier of choice when you get home. Also check on the reverse side. Find out which phone from here will work best or can be converted to work there and which carrier.
Once you have done this and have the information at hand you have a valid argument to use with your parents as to why you need to purchase a new phone.
Recently I switched my schedule so I could have a drawing and painting class to work on my portfolio. My teacher placed me at te end of the class next to this sophomore , David. He seemed real nnice at first, but then he just kept staring at me and making odd comments about everything. And he breathes on me heavily(his breath stinks).
I really want to switch seats but another girl Maggi sits there and thinks David is a real creeper too.
I don't want to say anything to him cause that's mean.
And I don't want to ask the teacher cause she might put me in a MORE uncofortable position.
How can I get this creeper vibe out of my system??
I'm 16/f/junior in high school. I don't know what age he is. About 15?
If those odd comments David is making is interfering with your ability to take advantage of what the class is offering; then this is a form of harassment. Harassment does not always take the form of sexual things, it can be just a plain annoyance as you seem to be describing what David is doing.
You have the absolute right to enjoy the benefits of what this class has to offer. If David or anyone else keeps you for getting that enjoyment then you or you parents need to lodge a complaint.
The best way I believe this should be handled is to speak to your parents and ask them to write a note to your teacher or principal. In the schools where I live every teacher has a school email address. So either an email note to the teacher or a handwritten one you can have placed in the teachers mailbox at school should be sent by your parents.
This gives you what is called plausible deniability should David be questioned or punished for his actions. You can very honestly say you don't know what he is talking about as you said nothing to the teacher.
So talk to your parents and discuss the best way to rectify this situation in your best interest.
around 11 , 12 years old , i stuck a finger inside of me , but it didnt hurt . that same night my boyfriend stuck one finger inside of me , it hurt a little & i started to bleed & thats when i first started my period . im 17 now and im still a virgin and ive stuck two fingers inside and it hurted like loosing my virginity , but no blood came out . i stuck a tampon inside on the last day of my period & it didnt hurt as much . was my cherry popped when i was younger ?
Breaking you Hymen, does not always mean you will feel pain or that you will bleed. Fingering and the use of Tampons as well as horseback riding and other strenuous athletics have been known to break a woman's hymen. You may also have a Hymen with a hole, all have them, big enough and elastic enough, that it accommodates the tampon and fingering with out breaking.
By the strict interpretation of virginity you are still a virgin. The breaking of your Hymen does not in itself mean loss of virginity. You become a non-virgin when you have your first sexual intercourse.
There are some that would say that when you allowed a boy to put his fingers in you that this was your first sexual intercourse. Here again by definition sexual intercourse happens when the male places his penis in the female vagina.
To my mind you are still a virgin as you have not had a sexual intercourse by definition. You can decide for yourself if you are a virgin or not. I have provided the definitions and the information you need to make the decision, but only you can decide what that decision is.
I was unemployed for five, almost six months because of my unemployment situation I've been applying almost everywhere, recently I applied at Burger King, Blockbuster and a Halloween store.
I just took a job today at Burger King, the day after I interviewed with Blockbuster. I told the manager who interviewed me that I would definitely give him a two week notice if I was going to quit, because I felt like that was only courteous.
The hiring process at Burger King is still incomplete, he will give me information about my schedule on Sunday. I'm a little worried about their reliability only because when I first went in to interview today, he wasn't there and one of the team leaders asked if I could come back at 3:00. He did apologize, telling me that the shifts had been screwed up.
My question is that when I interviewed at Blockbuster she told me that I had to run a background check but that I seemed friendly and outgoing. There's a lot more opportunities to make money, and to advance within the company and their parent company Dish Network, meaning that I could work at Blockbuster for a year or two (it's a commissioned job, depending on how well I do) and then transfer to Dish Network.
If I get a call from Blockbuster, is it okay to tell Burger King that I have a better offer? Would that look bad or unprofessional of me?
I have mainly office experience working with a temporary agency, and he had asked me if I got a call back from the offices if I would go back. I told him that I would be that I would give him a 2 weeks notice. I don't think that I need to give him my two weeks because I haven't even started
working there.
-20/f
If this was a normal economy I would say that two weeks notice is a requirement. Given the fact that there are more people looking for jobs than there are vacancies to fill you are not truly harming Burger King if you start with them and then receive a call for a position that offers a better future.
I will say this to you. Talk with the Burger King manger about promotions and what a future there is for someone like you that is looking for a permanent job. Many franchise locations do provide for excellent promotion opportunities into the corporate ranks of the Branded Company. Moving up within Burger King is just as possible as moving up with in Blockbuster. Burger King is also in a much healthier financial position than Block Buster and offers a guaranteed salary. Block Buster I believe recently filed for chapter 11 Bankruptcy, something you might want to check out.
Hello well to start of I would like to say that i like in cleveland ohio on the west side and I was wondering if any one of you knew were I could volunteer. Im 14 years ol and i am going to volunteer at a hospital but I wat to volunteer somewere else 1st. when I grow up I want to be an ultrasound technician if that even matters. Please help if you can.
Thanks.
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In most states you are to young to have a wage earning job. This being so would also include many unsupervised volunteer programs.
There may be some hope that a school supervised work study program is available that you will like. Nice thing about a work study program is you get school credit for your work and you may even earn some small amount of money.
I would suggest you visit your school guidance department and ask them about a work study program. As I said you may be to young but you will never know until you ask.
I dont like my step dad my real dad is gone cause my mom broke up with him so i feel so empty inside what do i do to find or tell my father that i dont like him because my hearts set on my REAL dad
I'm a little confuse by your question. First, you don't say why you don't like your step-dad? Knowing why would really help in answering your question.
Second and why I am confused is what you wrote; "my real dad is gone cause my mom broke up with him". I'm not sure how to interpret this. How long ago did they break up? How old were you when they broke up? Has your biological father tried to stay in touch with you?
Without information such as I questioned; All I can say to you is this. I understand how you feel. I have two nieces who's father left them and basically walked out of their lives. My sister remarried to a wonderful man who helped my sister make a wonder full home for the two girls.
My oldest niece wants nothing to do with her father. By the way the girls are now adults in their 20's and thirty's. My youngest niece yearns for her father and does everything she can to include herself in his new family. Their father still does nothing to reach out for them. It is their step-mother who reaches out to them on occasion.
In both instances the girls are opposite in how they feel about their step-father. The oldest one took to her step-dad right away. The youngest has always kept him at arms length. Whenever a father daughter event at school came up it was me, her Uncle, that she asked to step in. She recently married and I had hoped she would ask her step-father to walk her down the isle. Due to injuries from a car accident I could not travel to where she was getting married so she walked down the isle unescorted.
Why did I tell you all this. To show you that your feelings are quite normal and that you do not have to say anything to your step-dad. Your actions most likely speak louder than any words you can ever say.
I will say this to you. If your step-dad is providing for you as a dad should? Whether your biological father is in contact with you or not? You should consider giving your step-dad a break. You would not be insulting your biological father if you shared you love for a father with your step-dad; especially if he is showing you the love that a father should. The choice is yours. Speaking as a father I would be quite proud of my children if I had to separate from them and they lived with a step-dad and shared their love with him.
The nice thing about love is it can be enlarged to accommodate others.
I HAVE BEEN MASTURBADING ON TOP OF MY UNDERWEAR AND SOMETIMES UNDER THEN LICKING MY FINGERS JUST TO FEEL SEXY AND NOW MY VAGINA REALLY ITCHTES! I don't know if it is just from shaving or if I have an infection! I have been putting like the balmax and
baby powder in my underwear and it kind of calms the itching but i need like good anwsers! so please anwser this as soon as possible! thank you!
Masturbation is quite normal. Masturbation helps relieve the sexual tension now raging through you from the hormones now building in you from puberty. According to a recent survey better than 85% of the population masturbates, this include married adults, singles and teenagers.
While the chances are that the itching is from shaving; there is an outside possibility of a yeast infection. If you see any discharge in you underwear talk to mom about what to do about this.
im messed im 26 female in aa australia been soba 3 yrs i cld be a petifile i have had those bad thoughts and i have a character like one(indulgent)neva done anythng neva wil i fuck with my own hed i mess with my thts im past wanting to die i runing outa options.any ideas?
From what I know of the psychology of pedophilia is that it is a character flaw and not a mental illness. This means that While you can be helped to repress those feeling there is no magic pill to make the feelings go away.
Since treatment for pedophilia exists I will refer to it as an illness as well. As in any illness or disease acknowledging you have a problem is half the battle. I believe Australia like Great Britain has Nation Health Insurance. What you need to do is follow the rules of that plan or your private plan if you have that type and find a psychologist who specialises in treating pedophilia and start treatment. As I said there is no cure but they can help you repress the urges.
Hey so I'm a sixteen year old girl in high school, junior year. I've been dating this guy for 18 months and he just turned eighteen, a senior. Something I've always kind of noticed about him are his very protective tendencies. When we first started dating it wasn't so bad, he was about as protective of me as he was his little sister so I knew it was out of concern and coming from a caring place. As we've continued dating, he's started to verge on the over protective side, and this I don't like. He get's so angry when guys make crude and dirty comments about me to him. Like, obviously joking comments. He plays football and all of the guys give eachother crap about everyone's girlfriend. It doesn't bother me, but it bothers him. And just last weekend he almost tried to fight some kid at a party who was being, I'll admit, out of line with me. The kid was grabbing and pulling me and wouldn't listen to me when I told him to stop and wouldn't let go. I appreciated when my boyfrined came over and told the guy to let go, but I didn't appreciate how he continued to threaten the other guy and how he completely escalated the situation. When my boyfriend does those kind of things I feel like he isn't even concerned abotu me at that point. I feel that it hasn't become about protecting me its become about HIM protection HIS "property". You know what I mean? Like he's doing it for himself and that just bothers me. Not only is it embarassing for me but its a little frightening too. We've had talks about it before but he I don't think he understands what I mean. Does anyone know what I'm trying to say here and how I should say it to him?? If so, please help!!
(Oh, by the way, on a side note. He constantly defends his over protective attitude by saying I'm too small to protect myself properly, which also extremely annoying. I know I'm physically little but that still bothers me that he doesn't think I can take care of myself. Any advice on how to handle that too? PLEASE don't tell me to break up with the kid. We've worked through so many bigger issues together, I'm not ending our relationship over this.)
This is a two sided coin. On one side you should feel honored that your boyfriend as we older folks say is;"defending your honor." On the other side of the coin his over protection of you is discomforting and the feeling of being property is out of place in today's world. In the middle of this is his feelings for you and yours for him.
I do not have a magic answer to this problem as anything you may say or do has to effect one side of the coin and the middle. What I can suggest is that since you two have been dating as long as you have that you might have established a relationship with his mother. If you have then I would suggest you talk to her about this.
Most young men get their social skills from their mothers. You know the ones; never hit a women, always open a door for your date, be protective of those you love. If I am correct then after you and she talk, she can talk with her son and adjust this area of her training in his social skills without injuring any part of the coin as I described earlier.
I do not see this a personality defect or a character flaw in him. Both of which are near impossible to fix. This is as I think some part teenage male protecting his women and some part a defect in his interpretation of the social skills he was taught as a child. One self corrects with maturity that comes with age and the other a word or two from the teacher will most likely correct.
Kevin (my boyfriend) and I have been together for a little over a year and his parents did not like me since day one. The biggest reason is because I am two years older than him. He is 16 and I am 18. Before I was with him, I cheated on a boyfriend i had, but Kevin trust me and he hasn't told his parents about it. I love him so much and more than anything in this world, but I really wish his parents would like me. One day, Kevin, his sister and I went to the mall together and his sister ran into some friends and so she went to hang out with them. Later on, Kevin's parents called him and asked to speak to Kristina (His sister), but she was with her friends. His parents got so mad with me saying I am a bitch and it's all my fault that we let Kristina go. I found out that later on, Kevin tried to take the blame for all of it but his dad hit him with a gun and passed out, his parents did NOT do anything about his passing out except let him lay there. A few months later, we started to somewhat get along. We had dinner together and everything, but i soon found out it was all just a show. I found out from Kevin and Kristina that their parents talk bad about me everyday. Like how they wanna kill me or how i am a bitch or whatever. I don't let any of that stuff bother me, i just keep trying my best to set a good impression. I always said yes mam and no mam and yes sir and no sir, but no matter what i do, they just cant get to like me. They also say Kevin should date someone of his own kind (He is Vietnamese, I am Mexican).Many months later, after kevin turns 16 and it passes our one year anniversary so he wants a tattoo. Well it's illegal but he found this place that will do it to minors. I do EVERYTHING I can to convince him not to, but he really wants it. He said he'll do it even if i don't bring him, he'll find a ride. I really want to tell his parents but i was afraid he will get really mad at me and break up with me. Then finally he convinces me to bring him, which was a horrible mistake because his parents saw the tattoo and blames me 100% for it. Now everyday, Kevin tell his parents its his fault, but they don't believe him and threaten to kill him everyday and hits him everyday. There really is no evidence because he heals really quickly. And also his parents continue to talk bad about me and also in front of my dad and i don't know what to do at all. How can I show them that I am a good person. I got my diploma, i am in college, I get great grades, I never ever curse unless I am quoting other peoples words and i show them as much as respect as i can even though they dont show me respect. What can i do? My dad says i should just leave it alone and deal with it until kevin turn 18. Kevin also say that when he turns 18, he wont see them or speak to them ever again because he believes they don't deserve to be his parents. I also found out his parents always believes that they gave their children life so they have the right to take it away from the. Please help me. What do i do?
Before I go into the why of your boyfriends parents dislike of you. You need to make a decision as to your boyfriends safety.
I am very disturb over your statement; "his dad hit him with a gun and passed out, his parents did NOT do anything about his passing out except let him lay there." I'm also disturb by the constant hitting of your boyfriend by his parents. This is major child abuse. If his parent are 1st or 2nd generation Vietnamese immigrants to them this is the way things are back in the old country and how their parents treated them. Here it is very wrong.
To be hit with a gun and knocked unconscious will leave evidence that can be seen on an x ray or MRI. What you need to decide is whether in your mind your boyfriend is in enough danger that you as a responsible adult need to report this to child services.
Now as to why his parent are so against you being with their son. First of course is the age difference. In their culture this is not done the women should be younger than the man. Second; is the fact you are not only not of his nationality you are as they see it an interracial couple.
During the Vietnam war women and the children they bore of American soldiers regardless of the soldiers race were in grave danger because of the taboo of interracial children and the mixing of nationalities,In all cases if the father did not acknowledge the child, and in many the father was not present, either rotating home or being KIA, the U. S. government did not recognize these children. The children another mother we outcasts at best.
This is probably the mindset of his parents. No matter how hard you try you will have a hard time if at all overcoming this. What you should concentrate on at the moment is your boyfriends safety and well being. You are there and see the bruises. When you see them you should take him to a hospital emergency room and have them documented and ask for child services to be called.
I have come across some txt messages as well as fb messages involving my husband and other woman. We have been together for 8 years and have two children and one on the way. I feel lost and sad and worry about what he is doing way to much when I'm not with him. I tell him all the time how i feel and he lies and says theirs no messaging between him and other woman. I'm not stupid, I cant tell him how I know about the messages. Yes, I have been being sneaky, but I am looking out for myself. Yes, its would appear I am looking for something to be upset about but I don't want to be in yet another cheating marriage...it hurts way to much. How do I withdraw myself from worrying about him all the time, how do i get my mind off him and start worrying about other things in my life?
To an extent I will agree with Zane and his advice to you. I will also play devils advocate for a moment just to get your opinion and to have you see the other side of this issue.
You say you found text messages and fb messages,"involving my husband and other woman." What you have not said is the nature of the content of these messages. So my question to you is; Do you feel it is wrong for a married man to have, benign, friendships with other women? Do you feel it would be wrong for you to have, benign, friendships with other men?
Are these messages benign or are the more serious in nature. Please excuse this example but are you about to throw the baby out with the bath water because you hormones are working overtime at present.
What I am asking of you is to step cautiously. You need to speak with your husband and make sure that these text messages and FB friendships are not what you may think they are. You need to tell your husband you found these messages and want/need to know what they mean to him. Then based on his answers decide what you need to do.
If you decide you need to withdraw from him then the first step is seeing a good family Law Attorney and making sure you put everything in place to protect you and your children.
Well my mom is my best friend but sometimes she can be really mean and i don't know why. I mean it's been like this for quite a while, like over a month now, i mean she's 42 and maybe it's the hormones or something but she gets really irrated and she calls me names like patheic or loser, and i really hate when people call me names and when my mom does it it hurts tiwce as much i don't want our friendship to be ruined but i don't know what i should do i mean when ever i tell her to stop being mean she always yells at me saying that i'm the one being childish what should i do?
If this is a sudden change in your mother then there is probably something that has caused this. The cause can be physical or environmental.
By environmental I mean new stresses at work. Something you may have done that you thought you have hidden from her or any other external stressors.
As for physical causes there are quite a few that come to mind. At age 42 it is remotely possible that it is hormonal in nature as she may be premenopausal.
The best thing to do is when mom is not irritated talk with her and ask her to see her doctor for a complete physical. If it is stress or something medical the doctor can help her. Better to catch something now rather than later.
If mom is premenopausal the best advice I can offer you is just to give her space when she gets irritated and it will pass. My son and I now joke with my wife about that period with her that it was like watching a tennis match with how fast her mood would swing. There was nothing we could do but stay out of her way on the downside.
My GF and I have been dating for about a year. Her apartment lease is about to be up so I asked her if she wanted to move in with me, but she said "no." She has lived with a BF in the past but it didn't work out. She's afraid of what my parents would think, plus she wants to do it right and maybe wait til we're married. She actually owned a house with her previous BF, how can she take that many steps back when she didn't "do it right" the first time. Not sure if that's the reason, but then I'm getting blamed for his actions.
She asked if I was disappointed, and I told her that I was, but didn't want to pressure her into something she wasn't ready for, and wanted her to be 100% committed to the idea before saying yes, so I would support her decision. But deep down I know it's not going to happen for another year or longer, and her not being able to commit to me is killing me inside.
On a side note, she told me that she was ready to be engaged at anytime, but I don't feel comfortable doing that for awhile. So I felt like moving in would show my committment to her even if I can't get a ring yet.
I don't know what to do or say to her about it now.
My son was recently in the exact same position you find yourself in, the difference is the positions were reversed.
He once had a relationship that broke up where he lived with a girl and they were about to make the trip to the alter. This took him years to get over.
His most recent girlfriend wanted him to move out of his apartment and into her house. He said no for many of the same reasons your girlfriend said and a few that you have not written about.
He and this girlfriend have since split up for a number of reasons many of them the reason why my son would not give up his apartment. The primary reason for their splitting up was not because he didn't love her or didn't want to marry her, he did. It was over a difference in what each saw as the definition of commitment. She saw it as him being with her every minute he or she was not working.
He saw commitment and marriage more like what my wife and I have. We have our separate interests and shared interest. She felt this was not a proper marriage. Well ours has lasted over 40 years so we must be doing something right and our son just could not commit to her definition of togetherness.
What I'm trying to say is that something is missing between you and your girlfriend. It may be a wedding ring, as the security ring for her, or it may be something else. I think you two would benefit from pre-marriage counseling to find out what if anything is missing in your relationship.
so, my friend is going through a really hard time, she tried to commit suicide, and she's getting really depressed. her mom doesn't pay any attention to her.. she used to be the peppy sunshiny person, now she just puts on a mask... I know what it's like I used to be the same way.... I keep telling her to talk to people, then I suggested for her to change up her normal life and listen to some songs she never would consider (my kind of music) and i'm just wondering... what else can i do for her?
Do you know the reason why your friend tried to commit suicide? I realize the primary thought behind suicide is a deep depression, finding out or knowing what is the cause of the depression is what you need to find out. What the cause of the hard time is?
Your friend must have had some type of physical or mental trauma happen to her. Depending on what happened there are two different organizations I am recommending she contact for help. This is not the type of thing she can overcome by herself or even with the help of friends. She will need the help of professional clinicians.
The first is the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. This is a 24/7 365 hotline that you or she can call at any time to talk to professionally trained volunteers that are ready to help her find people in your home town help her. Their Number is 1-800-273-TALK.
The second hotline is an organization called RAINN which stands for; Rape, Abuse (mental or physical) Incest, National Hotline. If your friend has been raped, abused or the victim of incest she should call this hotline. Their volunteers are trained to help her and to help her find professionals in your town who can help her through this and recover from these trauma so she can live a normal life. Their number is 1-800-656-HOPE.
I hope this information is helpful.
Alright so for about the past two years I tend to get physically sick when i try to be intimate with a girl. Now it doesn't happen everytime but about 90% of the time I do. Sometimes it happens when I start making out and sometimes I'm ok until we start doing more. It varies everytime and I don't know what it could be. I'm not nervous or anything like that I'm excited and happy it's happening so I have no idea what's wrong with me. Please anyone have any advice?:(
I'm just wondering how old you are? Your age may have a lot to do with why you get this way.
First there is the excitement of are you going to get there? Then there is always the performance anxiety that all males suffer from. Will I last long enough to satisfy her? Is my member big enough for her? Is it long enough for her? What if I get her pregnant? You may not be actively thinking about these things but in the back of your mind these things are always there. Then there is the big one, if you are a teenager, what will happen if we get caught.
Those thoughts have been on the minds of teenagers since the beginning of mankind. Today you need to worry about STDs and AIDS and other viruses that can be passed with and without condom usage.
Yea this is a lot to have on your mind even if it is just in the back of your mind. I think I would get ill too. THe biggest worry I had as a teenager is making sure to get the stains out of the backseat of the old mans Chevy.
Stop worrying about performance. First if your a teenager she is probably not anymore experienced then you are. As the saying goes practice makes perfect. If you want to be a great lover ask the girl what she looks so you can concentrate on her satisfaction.
As for disease, take all the precautions the taught you in sex ED. Know your partner. If you or your partner have a cold sore, don't kiss each other. A cold sore is a form of the Herpes Virus and you can pass it to each other through kissing and oral sex, so don't do them.
In other words take precautions and just relax and enjoy the moment.
Hi. I'm a 23-y-o, straight female. I've had the same best friend since 3rd grade (15 years). She often brings up sexual topics in a way that bothers me. I know I'm too much of a prude, so sometimes I feel like I shouldn't be bothered.
I wouldn't mind talking about it so much if she and her BF were having issues or she needed advice on something (not that I could provide it). Usually, though, she's just bragging, pretending to hit on me (we're both straight girls), going into way too much detail or making crude jokes. This happens almost every time I hang out with her and I tell her to stop and that it bothers me and nine times out of ten, she'll do it again a few minutes later.
Sometimes, when we hang out with her BF (I'm single so I'm often the third wheel) she touches him inappropriately under the table or when she thinks I'm not looking, but she isn't good at hiding it. Only, she recently told him that she's an exhibitionist. I think she's using me as an audience for her sexual gratification and that she wants me to see.
I've told her to stop so many times and she just ignores it. Is this sexual harassment? It bothers me so much that I'm not sure I want to be her best friend (or a friend at all) anymore. Is this worth ending such a long friendship over?
What is happening with you and your friend does not rise to the legal definition of sexual harassment. You two are friends and what is happening is not happening in school or in a work place where you are trapped and cannot walk away. She is not holding this over you and she is not using this as a means to control you. This is why it does not fit the legal definition of harassment.
On the other hand your friend may get a sexual charge out of embarrassing you and the reason behind why she continues to do so. This is something you can control simply by walking away from her. Yes I realize a 15 year friendship is very hard to walk away from especially when you yourself say you are somewhat of a prude. Prude or not, how much of a friend can she be if she gets off making you uncomfortable.
I think you can talk to her until your blue in the face and nothing will change since you have already spoken do her. You have to back up your conversation with a consequence for her to face. Talk to her one last time. Reiterate how you feel about these conversations and tell her if she cannot and will not respect your feelings then you will have alter the relationship you have had for the last 15 years.
I'm M/16. I'm a Junior in HS. I used to be good at school. My gpa was 83 in freshman year. In sophmore year my gpa went down to a 69, by the end I got it up to 79. This year has been okay but, I just don't want to do homework. I pay attention & do class work but I don't feel the same. I'll get home, play video games & research random things on the net. At around 11pm I'll look at my homework and just put it back in my bag. Then I'll end up going to bed at around 1am, fall asleep by 3am, and wake up at 5:30am. I've tried to sleep earlier and I just can't. Its like I've lost motivation & will power. I have nothing tol look forward to. Then I'll try in school but they think I'm dumb. I'm not the same, I used to help people with work & stuff. I had my first chemistry test & got a 50, even though almost all answers were right. Thats a disgrace, I loveD science, I used to get streaks of 100's in earth science. I just feel lazy more than ever. I'm always tired too. How am I going to get into college if I go on?
None of us on this sight are doctors neither can we make a diagnoses. That being said, I am a parent and someone who is familiar with two things that may be troubling you.
The first possibility would be teenage depression do impart to puberty and the hormones raging around in you. Way back in the dark ages we looked at this as a phase kids went through and something they would grow out of. Most did, some did not. What was found was regardless of whether a child would grow out of this "Phase" doctors and clinicians could help then through this so as they not suffer as bad as you seem to be suffering.
The other thing that might be bothering you is you have become ADHD. While this is something most children develop earlier in life it is not uncommon for a teenager to develop this disorder.
Why might these things be happening to you. First from what I have read part of the problem is hormonal in nature from puberty. The other and biggest part is it is tough being a teenage today. We put a lot of stress on today's teenage more than your parents had and more than I had. I'm probably old enough to be your grandfather.
My advice: Make an appointment to see you family doctor. Your old enough that you do not need parental permission or parental supervision while visiting the doctor. Tell the doctor what you have told us and ask to be screened for teenage depression and ADHD.
You should or could discuss this with mom and dad, you do have medical confidentiality by law at your age. I'm sure mom and dad have seen the change in you and may be unsure just how to help you. It is up to you to tell them what you feel you need medically speaking. My suggestion is that you do so they can give you the support you will need.
I just moved out of state to live with my boyfriend of two years. We just got in an argument and he was yelling at me, while putting his hand in my face. Out of reaction, I lightly slapped him.
He slapped me back on the head, then threw me off the bed.
I know hitting should never be tolerated in a relationship, but it's not exactly easy for me to pack all my stuff up and go home.
What do I do? :/
First off you should not have hit him in the first place. His hitting you and throwing you off the bed was an over reaction. You are in an abusive relationship, one that will only get worse if you stay with him.
No matter how hard it is to go home now it is easier to do so now than later. If you find that it is impossible to go home then you still have to find away to move out of the living arrangement you have now. If you have no one who can take you in for a short time while you find a place of your own then a women's shelter is the next best place.
If you don't know how to find a shelter call this number 1-800-656-HOPE. This is a 24/7 hotline operated by an organization called RAINN which stands for; Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. They can help you find a shelter and people who will help you with finding permanent living arrangements and filing a protection order if you feel you need too.