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Learning to trust my husband
I have come across some txt messages as well as fb messages involving my husband and other woman. We have been together for 8 years and have two children and one on the way. I feel lost and sad and worry about what he is doing way to much when I'm not with him. I tell him all the time how i feel and he lies and says theirs no messaging between him and other woman. I'm not stupid, I cant tell him how I know about the messages. Yes, I have been being sneaky, but I am looking out for myself. Yes, its would appear I am looking for something to be upset about but I don't want to be in yet another cheating marriage...it hurts way to much. How do I withdraw myself from worrying about him all the time, how do i get my mind off him and start worrying about other things in my life?
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To an extent I will agree with Zane and his advice to you. I will also play devils advocate for a moment just to get your opinion and to have you see the other side of this issue.
You say you found text messages and fb messages,"involving my husband and other woman." What you have not said is the nature of the content of these messages. So my question to you is; Do you feel it is wrong for a married man to have, benign, friendships with other women? Do you feel it would be wrong for you to have, benign, friendships with other men?
Are these messages benign or are the more serious in nature. Please excuse this example but are you about to throw the baby out with the bath water because you hormones are working overtime at present.
What I am asking of you is to step cautiously. You need to speak with your husband and make sure that these text messages and FB friendships are not what you may think they are. You need to tell your husband you found these messages and want/need to know what they mean to him. Then based on his answers decide what you need to do.
If you decide you need to withdraw from him then the first step is seeing a good family Law Attorney and making sure you put everything in place to protect you and your children.
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Your husband is and still continues to lie too you, I would sit him down and question him. If your husband chooses to deny it then I would be upfront and tell him that you found messages between him and another women. Your husband may be angry but I would let him know that you wouldn't be snooping around if you had no reason to do so. Also, If I were in your shoes for the sake of your well being I would split from this man. You are pregnant, You do not need stress due to his childish behavior. At a last straw, I would suggest marriage counseling. If your husband refuses this offer then at worst case scenario I would be filing for divorce.
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