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I don't like my STEP dad! I miss my real Dad... what do I do about this?
I dont like my step dad my real dad is gone cause my mom broke up with him so i feel so empty inside what do i do to find or tell my father that i dont like him because my hearts set on my REAL dad
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I'm a little confuse by your question. First, you don't say why you don't like your step-dad? Knowing why would really help in answering your question.
Second and why I am confused is what you wrote; "my real dad is gone cause my mom broke up with him". I'm not sure how to interpret this. How long ago did they break up? How old were you when they broke up? Has your biological father tried to stay in touch with you?
Without information such as I questioned; All I can say to you is this. I understand how you feel. I have two nieces who's father left them and basically walked out of their lives. My sister remarried to a wonderful man who helped my sister make a wonder full home for the two girls.
My oldest niece wants nothing to do with her father. By the way the girls are now adults in their 20's and thirty's. My youngest niece yearns for her father and does everything she can to include herself in his new family. Their father still does nothing to reach out for them. It is their step-mother who reaches out to them on occasion.
In both instances the girls are opposite in how they feel about their step-father. The oldest one took to her step-dad right away. The youngest has always kept him at arms length. Whenever a father daughter event at school came up it was me, her Uncle, that she asked to step in. She recently married and I had hoped she would ask her step-father to walk her down the isle. Due to injuries from a car accident I could not travel to where she was getting married so she walked down the isle unescorted.
Why did I tell you all this. To show you that your feelings are quite normal and that you do not have to say anything to your step-dad. Your actions most likely speak louder than any words you can ever say.
I will say this to you. If your step-dad is providing for you as a dad should? Whether your biological father is in contact with you or not? You should consider giving your step-dad a break. You would not be insulting your biological father if you shared you love for a father with your step-dad; especially if he is showing you the love that a father should. The choice is yours. Speaking as a father I would be quite proud of my children if I had to separate from them and they lived with a step-dad and shared their love with him.
The nice thing about love is it can be enlarged to accommodate others.
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It would be unfair to tell your step dad that you don't like him. Of course, I dont know the fully details about why you dont like him. Your question suggests its because you feel that he is trying to replace your dad. The chances are, that he also is finding it difficult. Could you maybe get to know your step dad? Realise that he makes your mother happy, and so this could be your common link to get to know each other.
In reference to your actual dad, acan you still not see him? If your mother doesn't allow you to see him, then that is fundamentally unfair. As long as your father wants to see you, you should be able to see him. Why not get into contact with your dad, or explain how you feel to mom? Maybe she will understand and arrange with your father times and places where you can spend time. Or maybe talk to him over e-mail? Or skype? Or the phone? But don't be secretive about it to your mother. This man is your father and you have the fundamental right to see him.
Hope I helped :)
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