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My boyfriend hit me
I just moved out of state to live with my boyfriend of two years. We just got in an argument and he was yelling at me, while putting his hand in my face. Out of reaction, I lightly slapped him.
He slapped me back on the head, then threw me off the bed.
I know hitting should never be tolerated in a relationship, but it's not exactly easy for me to pack all my stuff up and go home.
What do I do? :/
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I went down that road, and I'll tell you that it does not get better, it's going to get worse, especially with him having such an extreme reaction to the situation.
No, it's not easy, and I moved a long distance to be with a guy who ended up hitting me too, but it's the only way. You are going to have to pack up and leave asap, no excuses, no justifying what happened.
Dig deep, know you're doing the right thing, and move on with you life, do NOT look back. If you stay your life will turn into a pure living hell.
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The hand in your face isn't acceptable, much less the hitting. The guy is an abuser. Get out NOW. Go find yourself some roommates and move into an apartment.
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I've lightly slapped my boyfriend before, playfully. I think that slapping someone playfully is different than them actually hitting you. He has never hit me back before as a reaction. Someone who would hit you back after you lightly slap them has severe anger issues. Do not blame yourself because really you didn't do anything wrong.
I would say get out of that situation as fast as possible. If he hits you again or if you have any bruises on you, report this to the police. I actually talk to this girl online whose boyfriend used to hit her all the time, she hated him but didn't know how to end it, she was afraid that he would hurt her and her other family members, and one day he tried to kill her. She was too afraid of him to report him, because of this she now has it on her record that she tried to kill herself (she's Canadian) and it has to do with a mental health thing.
Move back home if you can't afford it financially see if a friend or a family member can possibly help you, explain the situation to them and that you'll pay them back as soon as you get a job and can financially afford it. If that option doesn't work for you for whatever reason, find a woman's shelter nearby until you manage to get on your feet (I don't know what your financial situation is like).
I would also recommend that you seek counseling afterwards, you're already partly feeling like it's your fault. I have a friend who I talk to from online and she was in an abusive relationship and it affected her so much that she had to go to counseling.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do!
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I once read i book called dreamland it was about an abusive boyfriend i was a lot younger when i read this so it pretty much gave me a shock but now thinking back that book was amazing. You love him enough to tolerate him hiting you. Ask yourself "what i'm i going to tolarate next?" He doesn't respect you. i mean sure he loves you but is that enough? for some it is but is it enough for you? You hit him, making him feel weak that's why he hit you harder but can you really live with a man you doesn't caress you or doesn't hug you and says that his sorry? are you going to marry him, knowing that he using his fists to teach you to respect him? what about when you have kids? i know you've only been with him for two years but anything can happen. i know you feel like you have no where to go but is that true? or is it just an excuse? get out of there before you drown in his disrespect.
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Well has he ever done this to you before? Has he apologized for hitting you?
I know you know that even lightly slapping him the face wasn't right either. For him to hit you and throw you off the bed well thats completely wrong. You need to sit down and talk to him. Maybe he has anger issues and maybe you are seeing them first hand because you live with him now. I would suggest talking to him and if you don't feel comfortable try to call a friend/ or family member and maybe go to another place for a bit to figure things out. Fighting is one thing, its another thing if there is violence going along with it. This is a serious issue and I wouldn't take it lightly if I were you.
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First off you should not have hit him in the first place. His hitting you and throwing you off the bed was an over reaction. You are in an abusive relationship, one that will only get worse if you stay with him.
No matter how hard it is to go home now it is easier to do so now than later. If you find that it is impossible to go home then you still have to find away to move out of the living arrangement you have now. If you have no one who can take you in for a short time while you find a place of your own then a women's shelter is the next best place.
If you don't know how to find a shelter call this number 1-800-656-HOPE. This is a 24/7 hotline operated by an organization called RAINN which stands for; Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. They can help you find a shelter and people who will help you with finding permanent living arrangements and filing a protection order if you feel you need too.
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You dump him, That's what you do.
Find someone to stay with until you have a permanent living plan. If you need to go to a women's shelter until you can call someone. NEVER let a man hit you, I don't care what his excuse was it is never to be tolerated. Do you have any family you can call? In the meantime you really should report the boyfriend, This is abuse and abuse is not okay. Also, Forgiving someone who abuses you is telling them it's okay and trust me it will happen again as long as you allow it too. Someone who is violent cannot magically change themselves on their own, They need to seek professional help for the problem. Right now I would advise you to find a shelter or call the police and report him. It is better to be safe then sorry
- An EX victim of 5 years
EDIT: Doesn't matter if he had thrown or hit you that hard in the past, You still need and should leave him. The bottom line is he is abusive towards you and nobody needs to be in a relationship with someone who is going to hurt them. I was in a relationship that was abusive for five years, I thought things would get better I also thought well.......It wasn't bad this time but if it's bad next time I'll leave and I never did. The abuse got worse and worse and I finally got myself together to leave. Believe me, It was the smartest choice I ever made. Do NOT let him manipulate you, I can see already by what you added to your question apparently he is already trying to bribe you and manipulate you into staying with him. Remember, The longer you stay with him the longer you prolong your own pain. You are worthy and are too worthy for that jackass.
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