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Q:

I'm a 16 year old male
Recently I spent the weekend at a lake house with a couple friends at a lake house. My friends sister was there who is a year younger than I am.
We instantly got along really well and have a lot of things in common. We held hands for a little bit but then her brother came up to us so we stopped so he wouldn't know.
If he found out we both are afraid that he would be mad at both of us and we wouldn't end up being friends.

She's one of the most beautiful girls Ive ever seen and I just have a feeling that I can't loose about her. Help!
Do you know for sure that he is extremely protective of his sister? I know that a lot of guys are, and I notice that you said that you are worried that he would be mad at you. I am trying to see if this fear of yours is well-founded.

I would suggest asking him what he would think about one of his friends hypothetically dating his sister. If he seems cool with it, then tell him that you like her and you think that she likes you too.

After confessing your feelings for his sister, consider his response. If he's not supportive of it, then what is more important - his friendship or having a relationship with his sister, who you can't seem to get over? Before you answer, remember that teen relationships don't usually last long, so if you are good friends you might reconsider risking your friendship. If he gives you the go-ahead, then start pursuing a relationship with her.

Q: I hate putting this under love life. But I wasn't sure what else to do.

I've been struggling with this thing since March. I am a 19 year old female, college student. This spring I went on spring break with friends in Florida. We went to a club with fake IDs and, yes, I'm a college student, I got pretty drunk. I've only blacked out three times in my entire life and I've been drinking since 16 and I'm almost twenty. The last night of spring break, in that club, I blacked out. Kind of. I can remember bits and pieces. I remember meeting a guy and dancing with him and that I thought he was cute. At some point I left with him. Which is completely unlike me. My friends were freaking out and so scared, they called me hundred times. I don't remember texting them this but I replied to their messages and calls with "I'm fine, meet you at home". The next thing I remember after leaving the club was vomiting violently in a toilet in either a house or a condo. It was horrible. I remember the guy picking me up off the floor. And I remember laying in a bed. I think I have flashes of having sex but I don't know if they're real. Before this night I had only had sex with one guy, my boyfriend of two years but we had recently broken up. I remember being in a car and walking up to the house where my friends and I were staying. I definitely remember this next part. I was laying on a table in the backyard of our house, behind some trees by the pool. I remember something inside me and it hurt. I don't know what it was.That's the last thing I remember. When I woke up the next morning my vagina was bleeding and sore and it hurt really bad. I knew I had had some kind of sexual intercourse. I just didn't remember if I wanted to. I felt so embarrassed and didn't tell my friends. I was so mad at myself for putting myself in that situation. and I hate that I can't remember if I told him no or fought him. im almost positive I wouldn't have willingly had sex with a guy I just met. I went to the doctor to get tested for STDs and pregnancy and I was okay. I didn't tell the nurse any details. But that night still eats at me. I haven't told anyone and I don't know what I would say. I don't think I can call it rape, but then why do I feel so violated?
Whether or not you consented to sex, he still raped you. You were drunk and not in the right mental state to consent to anything at that point.

At this point, if possible, you should still press charges. Do you remember anything about what this guy looked like? He could do this to another unsuspecting girl, so you should try to report it if you can.

You mention that you're struggling with this experience. I recommend that you go to a counselor to discuss this problem. He or she will help you work this out and get over what happened to you.

Q: I was dismissed from a masters program for not maintaining professionalism and adequate clinical performance--this was so sudden, within one week of starting clinical work. I was required to monitor my well-being. I requested complete withdrawal from the university and this has no been processed yet. I believe I acted hastily and not in the right state of mind. Can I go back on my decision and request a medical leave instead? I would be willing to provide documented proof of medical management of stress and anxiety, from here on out, so that I can remain in the program.
Has it still not been processed? Likely the reason why you did not get any response is because this is not a question that any of us can answer for you. You need to write a letter to your school, providing documentation, if needed, and see if they will allow you back in without forcing you to withdraw.

Q: Well the end of the school year talent show is my friends and I don't know what to do we are girls
This question is very difficult to answer, because you did not mention any of your talents. This is designed as an important opportunity to show off what you and are friends are you best at.

Are you talented dancers? Create your own dance routine.

Are you talented singers? Find a good song that you feel is popular with people in your age group.

Q: do u have to take birth control pills before or after you have eaten in order for it to work 100% effectively
Double check with your gynecologist, but I don't think that it matters if you eat at all in order for them to work 100% effectively. I take my birth control at 7:00 PM, and most of them I do not eat. I haven't been on it long, but I assume that it's working effectively.

The best thing to do is to look at the brochure that they pack along with the birth control pills. This brochure is important, because it also identifies the risks associated with taking the medication and helps you identify if the one you are on is the proper one for you.

Q: Hey, I'm 15 and a freshman . Well, this guy (he's 20 and he graduated already) have been friends since last summer and him and I are somewhat really close. He's a really sweet guy, he is a Christian and he's never had sex before. He's helped me through when I got dumped, rejected, bullied, depressed, and we've just always been real good friends and never fight. Well, since Valentine's Day is coming up we already made plans to hang with our single friends, and yesterday he asked me if I would go out with him, and I keep saying I'll think about it, but I just don't know how I should respond even though I feel the same way as him. Like, we discussed age gap we had and he said 5 years isn't that huge and I kind of agreed. If him and I go out, I just would feel afraid I would get bullied for it , but I don't know. I want to say yes, but a part of me wants to say no. Advice please?
I think that 5 years is huger when you're 15 and he's 20. Things get better when you're 20 and he's 25. Right now at this point in your life, the two of you still want different things.

I doubt very strongly that the two of you are doing similar things with your lives right now, or are thinking of the same things. In order for a relationship to work, especially when you're starting out, the two of you have to be in relatively the same place.

Is not having sex something that he has chosen not to do because of religion? Or, does he want to find the right girl to do it with first? I'm not sure what state you live, but if the two you were to have sex, that would be illegal. He could go to jail.

For now the two of you should remain friends. If you still have feelings for each other after you graduate high school, then maybe revisit the issue later.

Q: I haven't been on this site for literally years but I thought someone here could help me. I can't go to my friend with this because I've told her similar things before and she immediately says the worst, like he is cheating and hiding things from me.

I'd really like someone else's opinion, please.

I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now, and he is 21 and I am 20. I basically live with him and I'm with him pretty much all the time. BUT I can never touch his phone. He literally fights me over it if I get ahold of it. He also has two phones. He says one is for games and the other is for calling and texting. I've been on the games one before freely with his permission. The other one I have only been on when I snuck around when he was sleeping, and I did find horrible heart-crushing things on it. He was talking to multiple girls, and even in sexual ways. He told one girl that he was going to have sex with her when he visited another state and she was agreeing to it.
Talking to him about it, he denied everything I said and said he was never actually going to have sex with her.

(This wasn't the first time I saw him talking to other people. A couple months before he was talking to his ex, who we went through terrible things with. She is psycho and I don't know why he'd even think about talking to her. I guess she was hard to let go.)

I've accused him before of continuing to talk to other girls, calling them beautiful, deleting the messages after, etc. He gets extremely mad, yells at me, and leaves the room. I can recall this happening 3 times where I'm seriously crying and scared of him.

It seems like every day I see on his phone a pop-up saying a girl accepted his friend request. I ask him and he says its someone he knew from where he lived before, and he had a lot of friends who were girls. But all of them are like... Beautiful, have lots of likes on their pictures(from him too), and.. ya know? Like, they don't seem like real girls. But their location sure enough says where he is from. BUT who even has that many friends? He adds a LOT of girls. "That request is from a long time ago." Yeah, okay.

He also used to take his phone in the shower with him. I say USED TO because he doesn't shower when I'm there anymore, I'm assuming because I confronted him about it.

One last thing, I was on his games phone and went on his Facebook to see him telling another girl she's "so beautiful" and then later, it was gone. He doesn't remember it all at. So, I know he deletes everything. And, of course, denies it.

I'm sorry this is so long. If someone can give their opinion on this, like how I can help the situation or help fix these problems we have, I'd be very appreciative. I really do love him. Taking away all of these things I mentioned above, he does NOT seem like someone who would cheat. I know him really well. But all of this is beyond my mind.
I hate to tell you this but some times things happen and we don't want to believe them. This sounds exactly what is going on with you. In fact, you said that you don't want to go to your best friend for this reason.

It is very strange that he has two phones, one for "games" and for making phone calls. Most people that I know only have one cell phone. This already sounds suspicious.

Then you find him telling another girl that he plans to have sex with her, and she's consenting? You also see facebook posts where he calls all of these girls beautiful?

Next time you see a message like that, print it out and make sure that he cannot just delete it. Sit him down, confront him about it, and see what his reasoning is.

Maybe he's into some weird role playing stuff, but it does not sound like something kosher is going on.

Q: What jobs can gay people get?
I wish that you would tell us which country you're from, because laws like this vary depending on where you live. I will tell you how employment issues work in the United States, which is where I'm from.

In the United States gay people can work any job. Valentina is wrong that you cannot be gay in the military, as of 2010 the U.S. military branches have accepted homosexuality.

http://girightshotline.org/en/military-knowledge-base/topic/homosexual-conduct-discharge

If you are in the United States, and you think that you are being denied employment, or fired from your job, because gay then that's considered discrimination and you can sue for that. In fact, you should sue for that in anything like that happens to you. You will get treated to the compensation that you deserve, and in some cases get your job back.

If you live in another country, look up the laws and you will find out your rights as a worker in the country. This is a good thing for you to do anyway. These laws might also help you to determine which kind of jobs you can apply for in your country as a gay male.

Q: Hi im a boy in the 7th grade and I recently went to a playground over the weekend thats just outside the county where i live and witnessed a girl who goes to my school beating up a boy really bad for whatever reason I don't know. He wasn't anyone I knew he probably went to the school in that area. Anyway she finally let him go and he was limping and crying as he went by me and the girl and her friend were laughing at him and saw me standing there in shock and her friend said something"Tina kick his ass too" so she came at me I pushed her away but she was able to punch me in the face and take me down and started To get me in a headlock and punch me some more. Well I was able to get away and on my bike. Now after that I was so scared out of my mind of her and I knew I would see her in school. so today she's been hassling me intimidating me, by coming up behind me at lunch and said "I love making boys cry" and "I won't let u get away next time"
I don't know what to do! I never been afraid of a girl before and im scared and nervous as hell! Im to nervous to tell anybody esp my dad! Not sure how he would react and I don't want to admit to anybody that I'm scared of her, but im definitely scared of her after what I seen her do to the other kid and what she did to me! and another girl who's on her gymnastics team told me she knows im afraid of her now and said she overheard her saying she plans on beating me up after school to get out of practice! Any advice please!
You really do need to tell an adult. Do not be worried because you didn't do anything wrong in the situation.

Does she go to the same school as you? Does your school have guidance counselors? You should go to your guidance counselor and inform him or her of your anxieties, they are trained in this area. They might also be able to tell you certain information, such as who the girl is, and be able to help resolve the conflict.

You should also tell one of your parents about the issue. Most parents love their children no matter what, and would be concerned about the issue.

I don't know your father, but is your mother in the picture? What if you told her first, and then she talked to your father? She might be able to talk to your father about this better than you would be able to.

Q: Hello,
My boyfriend and I are 17 and 18 years old. We started a long distance relationship a little over six months ago. Back then, I was still a virgin and he knew that. However, a few months ago I cheated on him and lost my virginity to a guy I honestly had no feelings for. I was completely aware of what I was doing and I did it because I really just wanted to get it over with. I made sure there were no feelings attached. Now, the guy still chases after me, but I want no business with him, or any other guy rather than my boyfriend. I love him to death and really have no trouble remaining faithful. I realized it wasn't worth it and he's truly the only guy I ever want to be with. However, I know that he'll want to break up with me and his heart will be completely shattered if he knows. He keeps talking about how magical he wants my first time to be once we finally see each other again. And I believe it will be magical because it'll be with him. I don't want to lose him, but I do think he needs to know. I also don't think it's any conversation to have via phone/text/video. A close friend told me not to say anything '"cause there's no point". I know if we were in the same time zone it'd be easier to confess and try to win his trust back, but I have a serious disadvantage by not being able to daily demonstrate my true feelings towards him. I've thought of telling him in the far future, once we're living together, but I don't know how he'll feel about it after such a long time...
Also, I'm actually kind of glad I did it only because it was extremely painful, and he wasn't the one who caused that terrible experience. The guy was gentle, so it would've been bad either way. Should I tell him when we finally meet again? If so, should I do it as soon as possible, or do I give it some time? If I do choose to tell him, I know I probably shouldn't have sex with him until he's known, but I'm terribly scared of ruining the possibility of a future with him.
I'd appreciate any thoughts and advice,
Thank you.
You can't build a relationship on a lie. Yes, you should tell him. Tell him the exact truth, as it happens and let him make his own decision. Yes, it might crush him, yes he might leave you, or he might decide to works things out.

Even if things don't work out, you're still very young. You're very young to be saying that he's the only guy who you want to be with. He's your first love and tons of girls feel this way about the first guy who they develop feelings for, but then life gets in the way of things.

So, even if the two of you break up, although it will be painful, just know that eventually you will move on, hold yourself together, and focus on getting over him and staying faithful to the guys who you date.

Sometimes you have to make mistakes to grow. Don't feel too anxious about telling him the truth, yes, he may leave you but relationships have grown stronger after cheating.

Q: can a 14yrs old impregnates a 14yrs old girl
In short yes, it might actually help us if you gave us more information. Usually the two have already matured enough a girl can get pregnant right after she has her period, and boys tend to be starting puberty at this age so they are producing sperm. During puberty the body starts preparing to have children.

Q: How should I choose a topic for my bachelor paper of history, if nothing is really interesting for me?
As someone who is interested in history I find it slightly shocking that you cannot think of anything that you're interested in. There are so many things to explore but it would be helpful we knew what area of history that you are studying.

While I do not know how large or small the university that you attend is, I suggest that you go to a history professor who you respect for some help. Most history professors already have an area of history that they are interested in, and have pursued doctorates in the subject. If you are totally clueless they tend to be a good resource and most professors would feel flattered that you are asking them for help.

Another thing that you could possibly do is do some research on historical topics focusing on the area that you would like to go into some day.

Q: In my life I have never been what you would call normal. I have social quirks: I don't like looking people in their eyes, I move awkwardly, I take things literally, I talk to myself when I'm alone, I'm overtly sensitive, I don't understand all of the norms well and I perceive things differently. I have my issues, I get angry and I have known to tell or break things and hurt people's feelings. These outbreaks happen once a year. I have been perceived as a monster or a villain. Personally, I'm not innocent but I'm Christian as well and I've worked hard to control myself and not give up. I haven't killed anyone or anything unless you count insects and spiders. I haven't done anything that's taboo or horrible to people but over years I have given up to be normal and be happy. After one incident , in which I was perceived as bizarre and different I have become depressed and hopeless. I have lost a lot of things. I want to meet a psychiatrist but I'm not wealthy and I want it private. Is there anyone who can give me advice
Do you feel that you are a good person? I think that who you are as a person depends on who you feel you are inside. This is also what matters.

It sounds like you should go to therapy, if you are having these issues. A therapist can help you come up with methods for dealing with these outbursts. Maybe you need anger management, which does not make you a bad person - it just means that you need to exercise more self control.

Are you still in school or do you work in a very large place? You did not mention your age, but if you are still in school there are usually therapists who work for the school. Also, some offices do hire corporate therapists. Perhaps you will want to look into these options.

If you live in the United States, therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists will not reveal that you are in therapy. They are bound by HIPPA, violations can result in the loss of their license or a fine.

If you are a minor they may discuss your sessions with your parents, when I went to a psychologist as a child he would constantly talk to my parents. I had issues with that, but as an adult I understand that there are things that parents need to know about their children. But all your conversations and your issues stay in the doctor's office. No one will know.

Q: 'fingering girl, may have precum on finger, but girl took ipill after the incident....will she be pregnant?
In general, the amount of semen found in precum is very low. However this varies based on the man, since I assume that you are young (still in your teens) your chances of making a girl pregnant through precum are most likely higher than if you were older. So, if there was precum on your finger there is a slim chance.

Even with the morning after pill there is a slim chance that she could be pregnant. The morning after pill is only 87 percent effective against preventing unplanned pregnancies: http://www.pregnantteenhelp.org/prevent/morning-after-pill/

While the chances of her being pregnant with the 'possibility of precum' on your finger are very small, you should be aware that there is a slim possibility of her getting pregnant.

If it will make the two of you feel better, encourage her to take a pregnancy test. But, like I said, the chances are very slim. So rest assured with the idea that she is probably not pregnant.

Q: M/16
So today one of my freinds straight up said he hates gay people. Well I'm gay but I havent come out yet and I always thought so did most of our other freinds that he was bi. What he said hurt me and it dosnt make sense to me. He's not a religious person at all so he dosnt really have a religious reason. Mabey he's just trying to fit in at school. We do go to a pretty homophobic school. It just dosnt make sense to me.
Is it possible for you to go to another school? I am asking this, because going to a homophobic school would be really difficult for someone who is gay. Are your parents accepting, can you tell them?

One thing that you cannot do is deny who you are.

I would strongly suggest cutting this friend out of your life if he is going to make such ignorant comments. Yes, I understand that at 16 fitting is a big deal, but it is very important to watch the kind of things you say.

Ask yourself is he worth having as a friend? You already seem to be doubting your friendship with him.

Q: We have got problems, like obesity, and illegal immigrants are flooding in each day. But what about the diversity? I wake up every day knowing I am free. Make the ignorant jokes but 8 out of ten of the best schools in the world are in America. And it doesn't block people from it due to gender or race. We also have the best food in the world and it's dirt cheap, too. Less people suffer here, and make your selfish greedy jokes but it just shows you are a dumbass because in 2012 we donated 37 billion dollars to OTHER countries,and people on welfare here are doing great with it. So why do people hate us? America is the best in my opinion.
First of all everyone has the feeling that their native country is the best. In anthropology (the study of humans) there is actually a term for this, known as ethnocentrism.

http://www.iupui.edu/~anthkb/ethnocen.htm

The rest of the world hates us because Americans are viewed as greedy, snobby, fat and lazy.

This site may enrage you as an ethnocentric individual, but it gives you an idea as to why America is not exactly well-liked: http://www.experienceproject.com/question-answer/What-Comes-To-Mind-When-You-Think-AMERICA/9296

Most of the world is also irritated with our lax gun laws, take the shooting death of Christopher Lane, a young man who was murdered while going for a run in his girlfriend's neighborhood. Many Australians were irritated with this incident, and blamed us because they feel that we need stricter gun control laws.

Not to mention that the United States becomes involved in foreign aid and often leaves countries in states of despair. This situation is one of the main motivations between terrorist group Al-Qaida's resentment towards us.

This article explains Osama Bin Laden's motives for the September 11th, 2001 attack: http://www.usnews.com/opinion/blogs/stephen-glain/2011/05/03/what-actually-motivated-osama-bin-laden

I hope that this helps.

Q: I truly loved a girl name preethi she lives in Coimbatore im Arun maheedhar in same area because of her situation and completion of her parents she left me we both doin masters in Coimbatore the day of her proposal is Nov 8 th around 7.30 in the evening then our life was awesome for few days like upto Dec 30 th the same year 2013 I was last seen her at Dec 30 th 2013 evening I dropped her in a market place and I left with tears and my tears still not stopped today april 6th 1.14 am I was feeling very sad abt the memories I tried to erase her memories but I can't I tried many things but only fail remains in love in carrer in life only her memories left with me now I want to die with that same memory but I don't want any resurrection after this life it's enough I'm now not fit for my life. Her birthday is April 9th so on that day I pray for her life for last time and I want to die with those memories please tell a way for a quick painless death
I refuse to give anyone advice on how they can kill themselves. Trust me when I say this, suicide is never worth it.

I suggest that you seek counseling to recover from your problem, since this is probably not the only girl who will ever break your heart. A few resources that you can connect with, include:

The Lifeline Foundation (91 33 2474 4704)
AASRA (91 22 2754 6669)
MAIYTREYI (91 413 339999)
ROSHNI (91 40 7904646)
Saath (91 79 2630 5544)
SNEHA (91 0 44 2464 0050)
The Samaritans Sahara (91 22 2307 3451)
Sumaitri (sumaitri.org)
MAITHRI (91 239 6272)

I will tell you that when I broke up with my first love, I could not stop crying and it felt like I would never get over him but I did. The way that he broke m heart was completely awful and it took me a long time to get over it, and I have. The two of us are now best friends and he regrets hurting me.

Now I have been with my boyfriend for three years who I plan to marry and begin a future with one day. I love my life right now, and I promise you that you will find yourself in a situation one day. When you find the right woman she will give you the world and will never leave with you a broke heart. You have so much going for you, you're getting your masters degree, killing yourself is definitely not the answer.

Q: I just can't take this anymore. My life is too harsh at my age. My dad tortures me mentally. I cannot resist. He always finds something to bully me about. I cannot focus on school because of all of the things in my life. He doesn't give a fuck about my education and future. I'm going to cheapest school here. One that i cannot have a future with. Unless being a maid or a toilet cleaner is considered as a good job. The. Yeah i do have a future. Everything he does he does on my moms money , and he also makes her buy him stuff.. My mom can't even think properly. Me? I'm done. I need ways to die that is not painful. I don't care who will miss me after this , maybe no one. When i think of him or see him or hear about him it drives me insane.. The only thing i feel is hate , anger , pain. I just need help with ways i can kill myself fast and non- painful . I will do it anyway , if i don't get ideas , i will even take a bullet in my heart. I don't care . Pleasee!!! Give me ideas of non-painful death. I made up my mind , not changing it. I'm 14 btw. And im a girl who just cant take it anymore.
I'm not going to recommend that you kill yourself or ways for you to commit suicide. At 14 years old you have so much to live for, even if you have a father that sucks.

Why don't you tell an adult at school (a counselor or teacher) what's going on at home, and ask them for some help? They are trained in assisting students with problems similar to yours, and know how to handle and resolve them.

Q: My best friend and ex co worker, P, use to joke arounf with me. He'd tease me by keeping my pen away from Me out of reach. He bought me a pop when I had no money. He'd just pick on me and tease me but at the same time bought me things. My friend M teased him about liking me and he got all quiet that day.

My second last day of school I had a cupcake and ate it and gave him the ring that was on top because to me it was trash. I gave it to him to throw it away. I came back the next day which was my last day working there before I transfered to a different location and asked him did he throw it away. He said no he kept it.

Do you think he likes me or just being a really nice friend? Usually I would now but we were coworkers back than and I didn't know if he liked me or not.
It sounds like P likes you, him being your best friend while working with you means that he wants to spend time with you in different social situations. Therefore this means that there is a much higher chance that he likes you. And then with keeping the ring from the cupcake that you intended to throw out, also backs up my theory.

Q: please could anyone take a few minutes to fill out the questionnaire, would be much appreciated. just follow the link thanks, http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/6B2FQC2
I just answered your questionaire. Good luck!

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