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My Boyfriend's Parents HATE me!!!
Kevin (my boyfriend) and I have been together for a little over a year and his parents did not like me since day one. The biggest reason is because I am two years older than him. He is 16 and I am 18. Before I was with him, I cheated on a boyfriend i had, but Kevin trust me and he hasn't told his parents about it. I love him so much and more than anything in this world, but I really wish his parents would like me. One day, Kevin, his sister and I went to the mall together and his sister ran into some friends and so she went to hang out with them. Later on, Kevin's parents called him and asked to speak to Kristina (His sister), but she was with her friends. His parents got so mad with me saying I am a bitch and it's all my fault that we let Kristina go. I found out that later on, Kevin tried to take the blame for all of it but his dad hit him with a gun and passed out, his parents did NOT do anything about his passing out except let him lay there. A few months later, we started to somewhat get along. We had dinner together and everything, but i soon found out it was all just a show. I found out from Kevin and Kristina that their parents talk bad about me everyday. Like how they wanna kill me or how i am a bitch or whatever. I don't let any of that stuff bother me, i just keep trying my best to set a good impression. I always said yes mam and no mam and yes sir and no sir, but no matter what i do, they just cant get to like me. They also say Kevin should date someone of his own kind (He is Vietnamese, I am Mexican).Many months later, after kevin turns 16 and it passes our one year anniversary so he wants a tattoo. Well it's illegal but he found this place that will do it to minors. I do EVERYTHING I can to convince him not to, but he really wants it. He said he'll do it even if i don't bring him, he'll find a ride. I really want to tell his parents but i was afraid he will get really mad at me and break up with me. Then finally he convinces me to bring him, which was a horrible mistake because his parents saw the tattoo and blames me 100% for it. Now everyday, Kevin tell his parents its his fault, but they don't believe him and threaten to kill him everyday and hits him everyday. There really is no evidence because he heals really quickly. And also his parents continue to talk bad about me and also in front of my dad and i don't know what to do at all. How can I show them that I am a good person. I got my diploma, i am in college, I get great grades, I never ever curse unless I am quoting other peoples words and i show them as much as respect as i can even though they dont show me respect. What can i do? My dad says i should just leave it alone and deal with it until kevin turn 18. Kevin also say that when he turns 18, he wont see them or speak to them ever again because he believes they don't deserve to be his parents. I also found out his parents always believes that they gave their children life so they have the right to take it away from the. Please help me. What do i do?
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His dad is a nut. You aren't going to win here, so stop trying. It will only stress you out. At least you get a chance to partially understand how guys feel when a girl's parents don't like him being with their daughter.
So concentrate on pleasing him and not his parents. If the dad makes any threats against you then you need to go to the police, though. As I said, the guy is a psychopath and I mean that in a clinical sense and not in a hyperbolic way.
Your age isn't a problem, AFAIK, from a legal standpoint. So don't worry about it.
Incidentally, on the tattoo issue, in some Asian countries, especially Japan and Korea, tattoos are associated with organized crime. That may be why his parents objected so much to it.
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Hello I would just start off by saying you too sound like you too are in love. Don't let his parents get to you. You to are probably ment to b together forever. His parents might just be against mexicans which I say is not right what so ever. Just try to work your diffrences out between all of you. Ask his parents one day if you can talk to them and explain yourself to them and maybe they will listen. Just be yourself.
Hope I helped.
Stay together and dont let his parents come between the two of you.
If you need any aditional help please ask me.
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Before I go into the why of your boyfriends parents dislike of you. You need to make a decision as to your boyfriends safety.
I am very disturb over your statement; "his dad hit him with a gun and passed out, his parents did NOT do anything about his passing out except let him lay there." I'm also disturb by the constant hitting of your boyfriend by his parents. This is major child abuse. If his parent are 1st or 2nd generation Vietnamese immigrants to them this is the way things are back in the old country and how their parents treated them. Here it is very wrong.
To be hit with a gun and knocked unconscious will leave evidence that can be seen on an x ray or MRI. What you need to decide is whether in your mind your boyfriend is in enough danger that you as a responsible adult need to report this to child services.
Now as to why his parent are so against you being with their son. First of course is the age difference. In their culture this is not done the women should be younger than the man. Second; is the fact you are not only not of his nationality you are as they see it an interracial couple.
During the Vietnam war women and the children they bore of American soldiers regardless of the soldiers race were in grave danger because of the taboo of interracial children and the mixing of nationalities,In all cases if the father did not acknowledge the child, and in many the father was not present, either rotating home or being KIA, the U. S. government did not recognize these children. The children another mother we outcasts at best.
This is probably the mindset of his parents. No matter how hard you try you will have a hard time if at all overcoming this. What you should concentrate on at the moment is your boyfriends safety and well being. You are there and see the bruises. When you see them you should take him to a hospital emergency room and have them documented and ask for child services to be called.
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Hi,
First of all whatever the parents of the love of your life has done to you, you have to respect them with reason. Find out why they dislike you, it could be that they love their son very much and want to see them with someone they approve of. Have a mature conversation it could be someone they dont like about you but if they see how much you love him they could cherish you that someone else loves their son as much as they do.
Take care.
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