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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

advice

Its just im like halfways out of the door to moving on but i still hold back. Ive had such a long history together with him and i miss him. I do want to get back woth him but when i think about contacting him i remmeber all the things he said when he broke up with me and i stop. Ive been having dreams about him for an entire week that makes me wake up around 3 in the morning. And i just dont know. I already know i cant make him love me or want me but i just want to try to make him realize that he still has some feelings for me. But at the same time i dont know if i should. What should i do? Because ive kept thinking of maybe trying to talk to him on friday.. Via trxting causewere a bit long distance then try to meet up on saturday for a few house or possibly even one hour only. I just kinda want to try it once more to hear his response in person.

At this point, why are you asking me what you should do. You've figured out already what you plan to do Friday. Are you hoping for approval?

With your own words you say:: I know I can't make him love me and then, I want to make him realize he still has some feelings for me.
Okay...so you think he has some feelings for you? What kind of feelings? Could you spell it out? Does he like you as a friend? Does he think you're a nice person? Those aren't strong enough to sustain a relationship. Imagine what life woulda been growing up if your mom felt you were a pretty nice kid but didn't love you as her own? Life wouldn't be hell but there'd sure be something missing. I don't think you want anything less than love.
So this must mean that you are convinced that the feelings he has for you are love. If so, is he behaving like a man in love? Not according to the standards of most dating coaches. If a man needs a few days to himself to come to grips with the intense feelings he has for you, realizing he wants to make a long term commitment even though it sounds scary to him, then he needs to do it alone. He doesnt need the girlfriend contacting him. Cus once he has processed through his feelings, he will either come back to you because his feelings of love are stronger than feelings of fear of uncharted territory or something new,

OR he will not contact you again. A guy doesnt need weeks or months. If it takes that long, he's not interested. It could take him a week. I had a guy ask me once to give him a week of no contact he had something to do. I honored his wishes. Little did I know that the speed with which we formed a relationship and intense feelings had scared him. He wanted a week to think about it and sort out his feelings. He never needed the week, after the 3rd day, he called, asked me to come over and then confessed why he'd wanted time away. But he missed me and was all gung ho about dating me now.
Texting him, as you have planned, would be the same thing as calling or just showing up. He needs his space. I suggest you give it to him. No contact, not even facebook or some other such thing. Leave him alone. If he has any love for you he will come back. If he doesnt, you have your answer.

Explanation on significance of the dreams:
All your dreams are telling you is that this is something important to your subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is where all our emotions are stored. Your subconscious mind also takes care of things you don't have to remember to do like breathing, and it takes charge once you are asleep, so dreams you have will come from the subconscious mind and its desires. Yes, we've established already that you want him badly or rather, your subconscious mind does. Is there some significance you can make of the dreams that its a message to you that you are meant to be together? No. Remember, its just your emotions and therefore your hopes and wishes. Its not a done deal.
If your conscious mind is at odds with your subconscious mind, and both of these fight each other, then the subconscious mind, despite what the conscious mind knows is the smart thing to do, will throw a fit like a bratty little kid in order to get what it wants. A brat will cry and moan and throw tantrums because it figures that will get the attention of the other person and they will give them what they want. Life doesnt work that way. Maybe as a kid, mom caved in at times, embarassed, and you got what you wanted. Sometimes if two dysfunctional people get together, it kinda works for a while for them. But for a healthy relationship, no. This should give you something to think about.

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Im 21 and a female and Nathan is a 29 yrvold male. He is an old friend of my brothers who lives in texas that's where I'm at visiting family now. Nathan is my first crush. I haven't seen hinincei was four yrs old. Since I been down here visiting we have had sex several times. And he doesn't really cuddle with me afterwards. It see,s like he might kinda like me but I know I like him more and because I have a hard time expressing my self , I sent him a message on fb bout nt cuddling with me and he just read it but no response usually he waits until we're both online butnidk just nervous what do I do now ?? And if I need to message what I said them I'll do that ...hmmm...??

So you're trying to tell me that you had a crush on him when you were four years old? You may be one of the few who has crushes that early. What does a four year old know about what it takes to have a healthy relationship or what it takes from each person to put into a relationship, OR what is needed to be compatible for each other?
There is no way based on what you knew at age 4, and the few days visiting family that you saw him, that you could possibly have learned enough about him to base any kind of relationship on, whether casual or serious.
Women more often tend to require the emotional connection to have sex with a guy. And most guys don't require that. They can have sex just for sexual desires sake. He saw you. You've grown into a beautiful young woman who looked sexually appealing to him. You thought him having sex with you meant he had "feelings for you?" Yeah, he had feelings, horny feelings not love feelings. Love at first sight happens so rarely that I dont know a single person it has ever happened to. Love and caring and the kind of feelings needed for him to want to cuddle and have that kind of intimacy don't just automatically happen for everybody without a chance to develop a relationship and those feelings over time. You girl have no clue about relationships. Sex does not equal relationships. You're at a perfect age to start learning though. Please get on a reliable birth control and dont count on condoms. You have lots to learn about dating and relationships and understanding the opposite sex thoroughly before you are ready to start looking for the right guy for you. And I am sure you will make more mistakes
along the way and you don't want getting pregnant because of these or leaving it up to the guy to be prepared. If you keep chasing after him at this point, you will come across as desperate or naive and knowing nothing about guys and he will continue to take advantage of that to get as much sex as you are willing to give. Trust me, sex with a crush is no where near as good as sex with someone who is totally deeply in love with you and you feel like soul mates and feel a connection on an energy level besides the soul one. Now thats mind blowing and fulfilling, and to be able to experience that for the rest of my life with my guys, well...thats heaven. If thats what you are looking for, don't waste your time with guys who are not into you other than for sex. Do not contact him at all. Only talk to him if he contacts you. If he does contact you and its not to go to a movie or bike ride or something else non sexual, then take the clue, he isn't interested in a relationship. Chalk this up as a learning experience and move on if he doesnt call or show interest in really getting to become close friends. Like knowing your favorite color, what your biggest fear is, your most embarassing moment, knowing what your talents are, your hopes, dreams beliefs, what you're like when mad, sad, happy, etc...Best friends know that kind of stuff, know all your spots and wrinkles and still love you. Thats what you're looking for in a guy to date. The sex then is just the icing on the cake.

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Dear Sir,

I was divorcy and before 4 months I once got married. I have left my first wife because she was very crual. On first night she told me that she has came here to marry me but she has left her boyfriend at her village. In my 5 years marriage with first wife we have never enjoy our physical relatinship and my life was distroied like this. I only believe in love so I have given her divorce and given her all wealth and house I had.

Then In search of love I have got a woman who was divorcee and she has got divorce before 12 year as her her information she has left her husband because he was having relationshop with another woman.

My first month of marriage was good. but in second month husband of my second wife got in tough with her and both fell in love once again. Now she told me that she loves him only and cant live without him. She also doesn't want me to live but she wants to have relationship with him because her ex husband is father of her daughter.

She used to harras me daily. She is talking to him daily and when I caught her talking to her ex husband she said that she feels his love only and none is having courage to say anything to her.

I have decided to die buy now I cant understand what to do now.

I am working in multinational company and taking good salary but my wife wants love of her ex husband only.

Kindly advice what should I do now. I have just purchase house for her which is on loan.

Thanking you,

Regards
Tiger

I am thinking that not only have you no idea of what you are looking for in a partner but you have no idea how to spot the signs that a person may be wrong for you, shallow, not truthful, not on the same wavelength as you regarding everything, ideas, beliefs, how they live their life, hopes dreams goals. With a 5 year marriage that had problems and now other women who aren't wanting to stay with you, I think you need to do some research and study on everything from sexuality, relations between two people and the basics of what is needed to make for a successful relationship. This is way too much information to put in here. Sometimes, the problem is lack of knowledge sexually on how to please the opposite sex. But more often there is nothing wrong with either partner, both are doing the right things but not feeling the passion, and thats because they dont have the right 'chemistry'. It means that something called "pheremones" in each person do not match up right. Without these unseen pheremones matching up right, the two people will not enjoy sex with each other. I have experienced that in life. I had to learn about what I am telling you. If you can't get your hands on books to study on the subject, perhaps the internet. I don't know what country you're in or if you have the capability to look for teaching books like that. Basically, other than the excitement of the first kiss or two...look for how the kisses feel after several days or weeks once the excitement period of the newness of it has worn off, does the kiss still have a feeling of passion, do you feel something or does it feel like you are kissing mom or a sister. If its not there for a kiss, its not going to be there by adding in the rest of any sexual relationship.
Make a list of what you are looking for in a mate.
People who say you can learn to love someone have it only halfway right. You can learn to love a person but there is nothing you can do about the sexual relations part to learn to make it work if you are mismatched.

So on your list of what you are looking for in a mate, I'd say, someone who has chemistry and also likes the same things in sex, adventurous, kinky, conventional, or has the same libido. Its okay to have a high libido and want sex all the time or low one where you don;t require it as often, once a month is good for them. Its okay to be either way. But the problem is when both partners have different libidos...they need to match, no matter what they are. Otherwise, one is doing without or the other is feeling forced to do so when they are not in the mood.

As for the current wife in love again with her ex and childs daddy...you can not force her to stop loving him and love you only. Unfortunately things like this happen sometimes. Better to give her the divorce so she can go back to him. What benefit are you getting from having an unwilling partner around? Does it help you save face, meaning you don't have to worry what other people will think if you divorce again? Who cares what others think. Its none of their business.
Now if you are divorced again, its not the end of the world, some people are slow learners in the relationship game and end up divorced many times before they finally learn what they are looking for. I have an example of that. My oldest daughter, not even age 30 yet, has been married and divorced twice. Now she's with a third man. She thinks she's finally learned what she needs in a guy sexually. The first two were mismatches for her. Besides sex, the other component important to a relationship is that the other person is like your very best friend and treats you as such...this is BEfore you marry. Do you have any close male friends who treat you well? Use that as an example of what to look for in a female. Someone whose word you can count on, someone who has seen you at your worst and best and is still there for you, someone who cares about how you feel, someone you can trust, you having good meaningful conversation with, you enjoy each other company and differences, etc. LIke I said, I can't go into much more detail but this should kinda help give some guidance.
This is nothing to end ones life about, no matter how hard your heart hurts. Look at my daughter. She didn't end it after the 2nd one didn't turn out and now she's found the right one. Good luck

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Why am I so shy?
I am from India.I am very shy , I know that's a disadvantage but I can't stop being shy. I am not confident. I can't speak out in public. I can't sing out loud. Dance in front of anyone except my teacher and the other children who learn. I know I sing good, everyone says I do. But the thing that keeps me hidden is shy, lack of confidence. I want to sing , dance , speak out , like my other friends do. They don't sing, dance good but still they do it confidently. I want to open up like everyone else. Even in my school, class,if a question is been asked, I know it but I'm scared it will go wrong, so I don't answer. I want you to suggest me that what should I do to overcome these obstacles. Or what my problem actually is. Thank you.

Bluehart had some very practical applications for you to try and pointed out great facts. Its all true. I was extremely painfully shy when I was in school. I tried writing with a very blunt pencil that had no more lead showing because I was too afraid to go up to the front of the class where the pencil sharpener was because I was afraid of all those eyes that might be on me. As I grew older, I tended to have a suspicious nature and not trust people until I got to know them that I could trust them to treat me kindly. So as a result, I did not reach out first, I waited until someone was nice enough to notice me and make overtures to befriend me. By time I was also done with high school, I was finally sick and tired of being so shy and asked God for help. I got an answer in my mind as soon as I asked. The steps to get over shyness and being scared of other people was the first step, once past that, gaining confidence came naturally to me. Here's the pretty simple steps I took to overcome shyness.

1. Smile at strangers every day as you come across them. When you are comfortable with this, move on to step 2 I was afraid to even smile at people fearing it might make them want to talk to me and I was too afraid to talk. Guess what, no one I smiled at ever attempted to talk. People just assume you are a friendly person who smiles alot and leave it at that
2. Smile and add saying hello to people you don't know. This is already harder because your mind will be going, "They're gonna think I'm nuts cus I am saying hi and they dont even know me." When you can do this without feeling awkward or shy, move to step 3
3. Smile and say hi to and then pay a compliment to another person you don't know. It could be telling the grocery clerk you love her necklace. Keep paying compliments to people until you can do so without being fearful of their reaction or simply the act of doing it.
4. Smile, say Hi, and start a conversation with a stranger. Here's an example. When I'd be at a clothing rack and another woman was there...no matter her age, I'd find reason to make a comment about an item and ask her opinion.I'd pull something off the rack something that looks too uncomfortable or barely covers anything and showing it to her, "This reminds me of one of those fashions just for show, not very useful. Would you wear something like this?"

Keep trying statements with a question to get responses from a person. If they don't open up and start responding and sharing some of their story or thoughts then they are part of the 10 % of people who are hermit like and don't like being around people or talking to them. I took a class in my 20's that taught about personality types and discovered that 90% of people are very friendly but will not start conversation first. If you can learn to start conversation first, in every situation, you will find that the majority of people respond in a very friendly and supportive way. They won't find the fact that you start talking too weird. Once they figure you're a naturally friendly person you will see them willingly respond back and share bits and pieces of information and such. Even today, I prefer to talk to a stranger that I am near rather than spend any substantial amount of time in their presence not acknowledging their presence by speakng to them. I find it more uncomfortable now to be next to someone and remain silent. I think it must the the silence or non communication that IS the problem. The longer I sit in silence, the harder I find it to start a conversation and yet I am no longer shy. Keep that concept in mind. The longer you wait to say something or do something like sing, the more time you have to start feeling uncomfortable and second guess it all. Just plunge in right away once you've gone through and mastered the exercises I gave you. My confidence grew from thinking more positive thoughts about myself based on my success with being able to talk to anyone. But saying positive things in front of a mirror is even better, being able to hear it. Good luck.

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Yes.. My boyfriend asked for me to have a threesome. This came after he started talking to an old friend of his through Facebook and his friend said that she was a lesbian. I guess my boyfriend got curious and that's when his lesbian friend suggested that he ask me if I would would be willing to it.
Thing is,I don't have a problem participating in any of that because I am adventurous. I have two problems which I need guidance on..

1.Should I be concerned about the type of conversations that my boyfriend is conducting through Facebook..? I mean, doesn't that kind of conversation cross the line and constitute cheating to an extent? If it were me and I was having a serious relationship with someone, then any talk about sex would feel like I'm not being true to the person I'm in a relationship with.

2.What does it mean if he asks for a threesome? Does he maybe think that our sex life has become boring and we need to spice it up, or has he considered cheating on me with someone else just to experience a change?

I am of the opinion that threesomes could be a sign of an unstable relationship and maybe my boyfriend,in not too many words, is beginning to show me signs of him cheating in future.

Help me out!

Everyone said all that needs to be said but I have had experience in my past with swing clubs and polyamory groups, not at the same time but in that order. I no longer do any of that. But it certainly was a learning experience and I see nothing wrong with 3 somes in any configuration. Some people simply fantasize about it and never do anything to try it out. It often isn't exactly what they expected. It is not cheating if ones partner asks for permission to engage in such sexual activity or even one on one with both being straight people.
I've seen the gamut of people who try it. Some get jealousy feelings, some feel left out while watching, some find it thrilling and want to do it all the time or more often. 2 gals working on one guy at the same time is every mans fantasy. I remember a gal coming to me and telling me it was her husbands birthday and that he's always had a fantasy of 3 women at once doing some oral activity on him and she needed one more person, would I be willing. Hey I was adventurous like you. I know he liked it, but it I didn't find it arousing myself. Try to get 3 peoples heads in close enough to do anything and be able to reach, it was more awkward, but hey, it was his fantasy.
Stay open minded, talk things out but remember that what ever goes on in the mind is just fantasy. And if thats the case, like advice man, according to your standards, you've probably cheated a zillion times too by seeing a handsome movie star and imagining what its like to be in his arms, reading a romance novel, and imagining yourself as the female character, etc... Women fantasize as much as guys do. Our fantasys just are generally a bit different sometimes.
I knew of couples who got into swinging to "spice up the marriage" as they put it. They were bored with each other, had little in common, etc.. so if it seemed they were too fulfilled or impressed by a sex partner, yeah, there were fights and arguments and the guy trying to dump the wife or girlfriend over the other gal or vice versa. But the key thing to remember is that the two had issues already, problems before going into sexual exploration of this type. Hope this helps.

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Hey guys,

I’m writing to you because I have some work problems and I could really use some advice. I’ve been thinking at one time to change my work place and try to start over because of these, but I really enjoy the job, what I did until now and there is a really good opportunity to grow so I would like to give it some more time.
My problem is my boss, or our relationship, or actually the way he behaves and the way I respond. I’ve been thinking about what I expect from a job and I have an idea but the problem is I don’t know how to get it from him.
So let me tell you about the two issues:
1. Asking for stuff from him. This is my main problem. The guy is really a “cheap bastard”, and every time I try to obtain things from him it’s a huge fight (even when asking him to pay some provider invoices is like I’m asking for money for myself). For example raises, every year I have to prepare psychologically and then for 1 hour or so negotiate with him like Jews over this (turnover doubles or even more every year, so there are clearly results we’re directly responsible for). The problem here is I have asking for things, I’m very independent and I’ve been accustomed to go and get for myself whatever I need, so it really frustrates me sometimes to ask and be refused/postponed/ignored.
After thinking about the job I’ve decided I need a new computer and I would like to attend some conferences yearly, but he is not responding to my requests, unless I go into his office and stay there until I get it he doesn’t accept.
I think sometimes it’s my problem cause other people have somewhat an easier time to get things from him (although he says I’m his number 1 employee).
I would like to know if you have any guidelines about how can I approach this so that I obtain what I want and maybe with less effort and energy consumption (this keeps me up at night sometimes; it really makes me feel a bit humiliated).

2. Critics. He is a highly critical person (a lot of things are crap, shit), we often hear that we have no idea what we do there, although we clearly do (of course we are not perfect, we’re 15 people striving to build a big company, we of course are in processes). He is very demotivating to me, I tried to explain this but he doesn’t change, I go on doing my job, but I realize he will never really change (for a while I really believed that better results will stop this behavior, but not). He starts obsessing over a process or something and then we have to all focus on it so that he stops complaining. Of course he sometimes is right, but we have our plans. I really feel he does not trust our judgment or actions. I feel useless; even though time has mostly proven me right (I’ve been working for 3 years here).
I want some advice on how to improve these, because there is a really good chance that we might get some stock options in the near future, which really is one of the things I’ve been working for, that’s why I don’t want to give up on this because of the behavior of one man. (the CEO but still one man)

Thank you so much for the help!

Julia

CEO, 15 employees? Is it safe to assume that he is also the one who created this company? The owner/operator? If that applies, then what you are facing is the same thing a person faces when trying to tell a parent how to raise their child, what they are doing wrong with a child, how their tactics with their child are actually harmful in the long run for that child. This company is 'his baby' and he's not going to take kindly to someone coming along and telling him what to do, even its advice he didn't ask for. Few parents or business owners ask for help like that.
Since you insist on staying even though there is no guarantee you will ever get out of it what you are imagining will come your way, you'll need to learn how to act with him. Here's how to approach him. First, tell him you have an idea and ask his 'permission' to tell him what it is. Don't just start telling him. Thats a no-no and will make him shut down immediately to anything you have to say, even if its a good idea. Try praying and visualizing him being in a receptive mood and asking for your opinion. If it doesnt happen, sorry....everyone on the planet has been given a free will by God and has the option to exercise their will any way they see fit, even if it counter productive to their life, relationship, job or business. Try this also. Picture yourself starting a company of your own, it grows and you hire employees. You think you are doing pretty good but soon an employee walks into your office and just starts telling you what you need to do and change, tell him what you think you need. How are you going to feel, having someone lower in command have better idea's than you. Ones that will actually help. Most people have some ego and pride to deal with before they are able to do that. Perhaps that is where he is at. He may learn to change, but again, he may never change and he could actually in his stubborness to figure it all out on his own, run his business into the ground by a couple really crucial stupid mistakes. theres nothing you can do to prevent anything like that either if he's not in the mode of being humble enough, and doesnt take things personally. Then again, some of the things you ask of him may sound really good and important but he can not afford to get you what you think you need.
I had kids who thought they 'needed' Sketchers shoes when in high school. My budget couldn't afford it even though I had to agree they looked like great shoes. I offered them the choice of paying for the rest of the cost beyond my shoe budget amount. When it came to that, suddenly it didn't seem as important to them to have anymore.They went with a non name brand. Do you even know if he can afford another computer right now? I used to work in a small company a married couple started. Actually it was his but the wife began to work it cus he couldn't afford to pay an employee yet. Then it grew and they added one at the time. When he finally could afford it, I remember him buying the first computer for the office. Mostly for claim adjusters to look up comparable prices on items. Out of 6 employees it was shared. Eventually, they got two more. Those who were most computer literate got them first. Eventually as a clerk, I got mine last. It sped up our ability to do the work from what was once done by hand or typed on a type writer. Difference in my case, the couple were open to suggestions and knew they didn't know everything, especially nothing about computers. My boss made mistakes that I covered up for and took care of to help make him look good to those companies we were in contact with, even saying it was my fault. In return, if I made a mistake that got someone angry he would cover for me. His wife retired when she saw I was able to fill the role she'd done as his right-hand man, so to speak. I never made him feel less for being human and making mistakes or having a bad day, on pain meds and being forgetful. Try really hard to think of ways that you can find to do things that help make him look good to all the other and other companies you do business with. He'll be more likely to want to listen to you if you have that kind of attitude. I hope this helps.

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I am a high school senior and I cannot imagine any more of this hell. Sitting in a classroom being lectured about irrelevant information is not in any way fulfilling or satisfying to me. The idea that I am stuck going to class every day for the next portion of my life is almost too much for me to handle. The "core curriculum" sounds like death and I do not want to spend the entirety of my young life being lectured and assigned readings over western civilization in the precolombian times.
I thought this feeling would end once I graduated HS but I know now that is not going to be the case.
I want to go out and make a difference in someone's life. I want to travel, photograph, listen to music, meet people, and just make something of my life. I cannot handle irrelevant classes and busy work for 4 more years without going insane and becoming clinically depressed.

Not going to college is not an option so don't suggest that.

The others have a point that college isn't like high school.
However if you are tired of learning in a 'school' setting, then perhaps you are looking to learn through "a different cultural life experience." You mentioned things like travel, meeting people. So maybe doing some travel in Europe perhaps? There are plenty of people who have done that first upon graduating from high school. It is easier to do that kind of travel then, rather than wait til later hoping to do it when other responsibilities are tying you down so its harder to get away. Perhaps to get the needed money to get you going on travel you'll need to work for a while. When you come back you can still go to college.

Or there's always the possibility of becoming an exchange student and going to college in another country. It may not be enough time to get into one by Fall but its a thought to find one and get accepted there.Until the point college starts, go work full time or part time and take some college courses part time at the local community college.

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There's a guy that lives in the same dorm that I live in, he'll be Brandon. We talk and hang out a sufficient amount of time but not a lot that we are annoying about it. I've always thought that he was handsome but had never told him or tried anything because he has a girlfriend. The relationship they have is weird, though, due to the fact that they both cheat on each other so often. I think they're only together for security, just to always know they have someone there.

However, Saturday night, my best friend invited us to a party at his house so Brandon and I went. When we first got there, we were standing in the kitchen talking and these scantily clad girls were getting a bottle out of the fridge and he had said something to the effect of, "ooh, look over there" and his roommate gave him a look and left so after he left, Brandon looked at me and told me that he thought the bottle was cool looking and that's what he was telling his roommate to look at, not the girls. Then, I was in the living room with my girls and he came in, grabbed my hand and told me he and I were going to play pong, I told him I'm not very good at pong but my friend that invited us is and he told me he doesn't care, he wants me. So we played and when we finished, I sat on the couch and was going to take a snapchat, he saw and came and sat next to me, put his arm around me, got in my snapchat and then still kept his arm there. Then he told me he has to go to the bathroom but didn't know where it was at so I took him there and as soon as I got off the couch and held his hand to guide him through the masses of people, everyone started hollering (which I later found out from my friend, that invited us, that his friends do that when they think people are going to have sex). After he went to the bathroom, I could tell he had too much to drink so I told him to sit for a while and take a break. I took his cup from him and set it on the table behind me while he sat in the chair, I went to sit on the arm of the chair. He got so irrationally angry that I took his cup so he started punching the floor, his roommate tried to calm him down to tell him he was just taking a little breather and that didn't work so I grabbed his face and told him that everything was okay and it'll all be good in a few minutes and he calmed down almost immediately. He pulled me to sit on his lap after that and asked what I wanted to do while he was taking his break and I told him we can do whatever he wants since he was actually listening and taking a break. He looked at me and said "well, I want to do this" and he pulled me in and we started to make out. After a few minutes, he had my bra unhooked and he kept asking me to go back to the dorm. I told him this shouldn't even be happening because he has a girlfriend. He said "fuck my girlfriend, she's cheated on me so many times and I've cheated on her so many times. Let's forget about my girlfriend." We made out a little more and I thought it was ample time that he waited for another drink so I got off of him and told him to go get one and he said he didn't need it anymore, grabbed my hand and pulled me back on him. We made out for about ten more minutes until my friend started going through an existential issue so I got off of him to be with her and by the time I got back, his roommate said he was outside smoking and then he was gonna head back.

The next morning, his roommate was hanging out with my roommate and she asked how he was doing and his roommate said every time they wake up from the morning after a party, he says how much he regrets the previous night's happenings then tells his girlfriend that he cheated. His roommate said when he woke up he told him that he didn't want to tell his girlfriend about me and he'll just keep this one to himself. Which made me think that he regret it and everything but his roommate told my roommate that he never once said that he regret anything that happened between us.

That morning, I had work (I work for housing at my college, so I sit at a desk and help residents in our dorm lobby) so he sat in the lobby with me and we hung out and talked like normal. After my shift was done, Brandon, his roommate, my roommate and I all went to the diner for breakfast and he and I sat together on one side and our roommates sat on the other and he and I sat pretty close the whole time.

Before the party, we would only message each other on facebook. Today, he was out of building and I messaged him and he said "why did I never give you my number before? Here, just text me." I always felt like I was bothering him, messaging him first on facebook all the time but I don't think I was a bother to him now, since he gave me his number to talk to him on.

Finally, I have talked to every girlfriend of mine and told them everything and all of them said that he likes me and that's why he isn't telling his girlfriend about me.

So, my question for you is: why do you think he didn't tell his girlfriend about me even though he told her when he cheat every other time? I don't know his girlfriend so that wouldn't be an issue or anything. We're both fine, it isn't awkward or anything and we've even joked to each other about it happening but neither of us regret it so I think, deep down, even though we were both pretty drunk, that we wanted it to happen. I just don't know why he didn't tell her.

This is, indeed, a more in depth question to a previous one.

Thank you!

After your long story, the final question then is "why didn't he tell his current girlfriend?" Let me ask you something first.What is it that happens or changes to differentiate a person going from friend or aquaintance to girlfriend/boyfriend.
Is it merely an exchange of words like 'lets be girlfriend/boyfriend and both agreeing and saying yes. Words are cheap. Lots of people say things they don't really mean. The younger generations have no idea how to be a person of their word, how to keep their word. That is not enough to constitute a healthy relationship. There needs to be a commitment made to each other if two people were only going to see each other when in a committed relationship. There is dating for social reasons or to learn who a person really is and if they fit you good enough for you to make a commitment to them if they are wanting to make a solid commitment. And then there is a different situation, one you kids still call dating, but it is different because the two have made commitments with their words AND their heart and back it up. If at any time such a relationship is not working out, the thing to do is make a clean break from each other and then start seeing others.
My guess is, that neither of them made a commitment to each other IF he is telling the truth. He says she is cheating on him. It could be true, or he could be lying to get your sympathy.If you don't really know her and her story, then how do you know whats going on. For all we know, she made a real commitment to him and is keeping to it, but he is the one bedding girls as often as he changes his socks! If he doesnt tell her or doesnt want her to know...then something isn't on the level. I don't understand why girls are so desperate for the attention of a guy that they will choose to ignore warning signs that a guy is not relationship material, and will settle for less and take whoever comes along, even if he is a 'player'. Now if what you want is a player, who makes no commitment to one girl, the swinger type, then he's perfect! He's your dream come true! Okay, lets imagine you and he have been dating for 2 weeks solid, every day some contact, then a friend of yours comes to you and says, I overheard Brandon talking to another girl on campus. He was telling her that he has a girlfriend (You) and that you have been cheating on him so he doesnt feel he has to stay true to her and he was asking her if he could go to her room since her roommates away, so they could continue with more than just kissing. So how would you feel? Hey its fine, we have no commitment to each other, we're both free individuals with a healthy sexual appetite. He's free to do that, it doesn t bother me. If you can't answer like that, and you feel betrayed instead, then you are not cut out for hanging with him. My recommendation, is figure out exactly what it is you are looking for, date several guys without making a realship commitment to just one. Date long enough to learn and determine which one sounds like what you are looking for, at which point you totally stop seeing the others and stay with just the one and he with you. Dating is meant to be something we do to form our ideas by our experiences of what we are looking for in a mate. Many of us have given it little thought. If you don't give it some serious thought, then you may end up in a bad relationship like I did at age 20, marrying an abusive man. It wasn't until divorce 30 yrs later, I began to really learn and grow. I learned to make a list of what I wants and will tolerate and what was an absolute no in a guy. It sure helped. I found my 2nd husband and he is the sweetest man ever. Married just about 5 yrs now. Even if you are no where near ready to marry, you are at the stage of learning what is 'marriage material' in a guy, or at least long term relatioship material. With Brandons track record, he doesnt sound like he's ready...just thinking of himself with his "smaller head". Immature men who lie or react to cheating as he does by doing the same, are not going to change overnight to be totally devoted and in love with you. The fact is, all humans are creatures of habit. We don't like change and avoid it even if its for the better. Change is scary for most of us. Some people take their entire life to change and grow on one little area. I wouldn't count on him changing any time soon. Maybe he will slowly become mature by age 40. Do you want to wait that long to find a reliable long term partner?

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Me and now ex, were together for 2 years. However, this past month we haven't been right, I wouldn't say we were even together, the amount of times we broke up in the month. A lot of arguing, I felt I was putting too much effort in and getting little back, I was the one chasing him after we broke up, begging to work things out and the way he were with me was clearly because I was putting effort in, so he felt he didn't need to as I put too much in. However, it's been 2 days since we last spoke, we had an argument and I told him I was going on a date and he told me to never text him again. I want to be in no contact as of today I would say, as I've been checking his profile so it doesn't count as no contact. I'm just wondering though, because I said I was going on a date, maybe he won't come back, he won't text/chase me because of that. I want to build my confidence and patience up, so I don't come off as needy anymore. I'm going to do 30 days of contact, but what happens if he never contacts me again? And what step do I take after the 30 days? Do I try with him after the period is over? My thoughts are luring in my head, I'm thinking if he does message me whilst I'm in no contact and I don't reply, he may think "forget her" and move on himself as I won't be replying. Has anyone got any experiences to share?

I can't speak for him if he's doing things wrong in the relationship but from what you've said you've done...I already know you are doing some of the typical things that females do wrong when it comes to dating and relationships.

I will agree that a healthy relationship requires both partners putting in equal amounts of effort, actually it takes maximum effort to make a relationship, work...it doesnt just fall neatly into place.

Back to you. Here is what you confessed to:

1. I was the one chasing him after we broke up, this means you were the only one calling texting and showing up.
2. begging to work things out. Guys can't stand women who have no self confidence, gals who feel their lives are over if there's no guy in it. When you are so desperate that you'd beg him to come back, it actually sends the guy running in the opposite direction.
3. I told him I was going on a date. Oh this is a good one hahaha, trying to make him feel jealous so he'll 'come to his senses and realize he's about to lose you?" Whether the date was true or not, you were trying to bait him. If the date was not true. You are willing to go out of personality integrity and lie, in hopes lieing gets him to come back. He was probably overjoyed that you said you had a date...finally, now I can move on without her!!
4. Lying to yourself, even though you dont realize it yet. You said you want no contact with him. Then you felt the need to add and tell us, "I've been checking his profile so it doesn't count as no contact." You DO consider this to be some kind of contact or you wouldn't have tried to convince us. You girl are just lying to yourself.
5. You let your thought run wild and unruly rather than trying to rein them in. My thoughts are lurking in my head. You are too busy giving place to negative thoughts or dwelling on the what ifs. You allow negative thoughts to run rampant. One negative thought invites another who invites another and before you know it, you have an entire scenerio or storyline playing out in your head.

You said that "I want to build up my confidence and patience up." Its not lack of patience thats necessarily causing problems with the relationship. But it sure as heck is the lack of self confidence.
And you finally say "So I don't come off as needy." Hmm come to think of that, this would be another issue, point #6. You did not say,"I no longer want to be a needy person." Your choice of words tell a different story, come off as, means you intend to find a way to pretend to be confident, come off as being so when really down inside you are not. Thats presenting a false identity to someone. And I know many people who have tried this. Its takes a lot of personal energy to put out to keeping up a false image or identity, pretending you're a whole person rather than the real needy one inside. You eventually run out of energy and crack and the real you is showing and you are no longer able to pretend. This tactic is only a way to hold off the inevitable...and that is even if he was willing to get back with you. But it applies to any future guy you meet.
The few men who DO like needy women with little or no self confidence are the ones looking for a woman to control and abuse. I don't think you want that.
There are lots of helpful articles on the internet and lots of entertaining but equally helpful you tube videos on dating dos and donts and pretty much the same things that apply with a boyfriend apply to any relationaship, and your ability to interact social in a healthy way with family, friends co workers. Please let the poor guy go. You will need to take longer than 30 days to work on yourself to bring about change. 90 days as you were told is a good place to start but life is a learning experience. If you are open to learning and to correction, you'll find you are constantly learning something new every day of your life, in each new relationship, etc...
Good luck. Its not going to be easy for you. You have a lot of bad habits including lying to yourself. But just think, if you don't apply yourself and learn to REALLY change, then you will never find love. You may find a guy who abuses you, but not love. Its worth pushing yourself to do the hard things, work on yourself.

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A little background, my boyfriend and I are 24 and 25. A month ago he got his second DUI. He does not have the means to pay for a lawyer so I offered to help. I gave my card to him to give to the lawyer but I never signed anything allowing my permission and what not.
Anyway, today I find out my BF has lied to me for about the millionth time (my fault I suppose for sticking around). I became so livid and the first thing I could think to do was to text him and tell him I am canceling the payment to the lawyer. So, I e-mailed the lawyer and got the card canceled. I have calmed down a lot since and feel like the biggest bitch in the world for doing that. I feel that I overreacted and am looking for advice on how to fix it. Thought about emailing the lawyer explaining I just didn't want anything charged till I could read an agreement. I don't know what to do just feel bad for actually going through with it.
I understand my BF was in the wrong for lying but ultimately I could have reacted differently. Just need help please.

Biggest bitch in the world? I doubt it but I can think of other titles more appropriate, "enabler", "rescuer","his self proclaimed mommy", "glutton for punishment."
" If you keep coming through for him or ignore all the bad choices he makes, or how he treats you, then there is no reason for him to grow up.

Lying isn't the only thing, he's also driving under the influence. And I'll bet if I were there to observe him, I could come up with a long list of other things in a short while that show him to be an immature man. A night or two in jail cus he doesn't have the money to pay the bill is not going to hurt him and may be just the thing to help wake him up and begin to take charge of his life and start making better decisions.

You are asking for help? With what?
For getting mad?
For reacting out of anger?
For cancelling payment?
For feeling guilty?

I highly doubt you need anger management classes. Your patience is worn thin due to your circumstances. It takes something drastic to make us change. I should know. I was verbally abused all my 30 yrs married to 1st husband. It took me having a total breakdown in health and emotionally for me to finally wake up and put an end to it all by leaving him. I will say something about your offering your card and then canceling. While you may think you did a horrible thing, it actually turned out for the best cus you inadvertently did the right thing. Now if you can learn to do so purposely.
Or maybe you need help cus you feel guilty? Your guilt is misplaced dear. He is the one who should feel guilty for acting like a middle school kid, for treating you badly, etc....I am sure theres a long list of things that he could feel guilty about. Having a guilty feeling about what you did is only going to cause you to go back to bailing him out and enabling him. So don't feel guilty. You have to be tough on a person to cut them off so they have a chance to grow up.

Whats really scary is that he's 25 and its our mid twenties that the prefrontal cortex of our brains is done growing so we can finally become more mature and make adult decisions. Since it hasn't happened yet, he may be one of those few guys who typically doesnt mature until late 30s or age 40 or so. You want to wait around another 15 years to see if he grows up? You can maybe handle one month at a time. Can you handle more of the same or even worse behavior from him for the next year? Maybe. Another 5 years of the same old same old? Owww, thats hard. 10 years? Start to think of what that is going to be like, year after year taking care of him and getting treated badly in return. When I thought that way, I broke down crying because I knew the counselor was likely right, he might not ever get better mentally for the rest of his life. Some people change a little he said but counselling is better than not doing so. Could I handle it? No. In ways I was always handling the unexpected, bailing him out cus he couldnt handle things not going as he imagined in his mind. I had to pretty much do everything. I was his security blanket...like a little kid has...thats what the counselor figured out.
Your decision is not whether to call back and pay for his ticket, your decision is whether if you stay with him, that you are strong enough to tell him what the rules and boundaries are. You tell him if he makes bad choices, he is going to have to face the consequences alone, that you are no longer bailing him out. Tell him he is an adult and needs to begin making adult decisions like for one, not driving while intoxicated. You tell him that you deserve better treatment and have a list of all the things you no longer will accept as behavior from him towards you including the lie. And no, he doesnt get another warning later if he does. This is the warning. The next lie you catch him in, you will break it off with him. And do so. Dont give ultimatums you cants hold to. Its gets easier after you have left him.
Or, you can decide to tell him that this DUI was the last straw and break it off right now. Cus you really know, its a matter of time before he screws up again.

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I think im in love but bont know what to do she is posibly pregnit with sumone elses child and i care about her alot and always think of her but im 15 and am nervice about teling her i love her because i dont think im redy for a kid but i would do enything for her

At 15, the only thing you can do is be a friend to her. She's going to need the support of a friend in encouragement, cheering up and such because no matter what path she takes she will be going through some tough emotional times.
Choosing to carry and adopt out is hard because she will come up against the taunting of certain kids and then there is the natural guilt that comes when giving up for adoption.
Choosing abortion if she's early enough along has its own set of emotional junk too. It is a very traumatic procedure to go through, again there can be guilt, mood swings, lots of crying and sadness, the hormones of motherhood are still in her body for a while though baby is gone. I think you get the picture, no matter what, its going to be an emotional rollercoaster ride and she'll feel so alone at times, like no one understands. She will need a friend just to hang with and feel like life is somewhat normal but you are not anywhere near being a professional counselor so the best thing you can do starting now and throughout the whole deal is keep pointing her in the direction of adults who can help her, parents, counselors, etc...and just hold her hand and be a friend.
She is too young to be a mom. Is the child was kept, her mom would be raising it. That is usually too much stress in todays time when most households require two incomes and mom cant give hers up to raise another kid let alone be handle to handle the cost of raising a child.
You have no obligation to the child as you are not the father. Don't offer any. Only offer your friendship for now. You're still young. As has been said already, its first love/puppy love and there will come many others down the line that you date and have feelings for. Enjoy the friendship but do not pin your hopes for anything more.

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My ex boyfriend and i broke up about 2weeks ago amd ive been feeling better about myself through no co tact with him and iust working on myself. He always seems to check my snapchat story if that possibly indicates that he still had some interest in me still. Well lately ive been having too many dreams of him and it makes me rethink about all the history weve had together for one year and 7 months. Today would have been 8 months too... I feel much more sad than normal when thinking about him. And im also worried about this firl that asked him to homecoming last time when we bfoke up. She triedto break us up for herself a long time ago and its like she still does. But i just dont know what to do honestly today im going to go to the tenple he goes to to see my friends and most likely i will see him. Idontknow what to say if i do see him and idk what to do like if i should initiate contact by texting him one day or keep him wondering about my life and make him like think about me. Because i really dont know i still love him but i hate the headtbreak since this is the second time this happened. And this is the second time that his friends had something to do with it!! So im kinda pissed off at his friends for implanting the doubt in his mind when he coulbhave talked to me straight up. But its like idon't know i should try to get him back because i know how long and how hard it will take. But it also adds to the fact that he once told me that in our second relationship he felt like he was losing feelings for him and all we did then was like friends with benefits cause we didnt have any times without secual stuff to bond.

First thing you need to learn dear that will make your entire life flow a heck of a lot smoother, is to realize that there isn't a person alive who can force someone to change or to do something they aren't willing to do. Lots of people are weak, no back bone, easily influenced, but such people gave away their decision making to someone else. So no matter what, if he Really wanted to stay with you, there is nothing any of his friends could say to influence him to leave you, even if he was afraid of what they might say or do to him. You are young and just beginning to experiment in love and dating. Part of the dating scene has heart break, is full of silly mistakes each of us do as we learn the dating do's and don'ts, learn to understand the opposite sex better, and decide to set up boundaries and guidelines of what you will and will not tolerate in a relationship. You know what I think? You log on to Snapchat to see if he's looking at you, because you are not ready to let go. Who cares why he's looking at it. If he wanted a relationship with you, he'd be sitting next to you rather than sitting in front of his computer.
Hoping so desperately that him getting on snapchat means he is totally in love with you and can't let you go is the thinking of a desperate girl. He could be a total wimp of a guy who lets others set the path he should take, doesnt have any direction in life, too scared to make a stand and do his own thing, etc. Who even wants a guy like that. You can certainly do way better. But if you are so desperate you're willing to settle for less, then you will never have any guy let alone a good guy cus one thing that subconsciously chases a guy away is a desperate woman. Adult men too. Anytime you become sexual, the feelings you have tend to deepen even more so it will take some time for them to go away. There is no magic thing I can tell you to do to get him back. This is part of life. Life isn't always fair. But life is supposed to be about growth, personal growth and change for the better. So stop checking Snapchat. Keep your mind occupied with other things like maybe checking out you tube videos on dating do's and don't, articles on what females do that scares away the guys, etc. That would be a better focus for your attention right now. Learn all you can and you'll be ready when the next cute dude comes along who has an eye for you.

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I fuck my wife on her backhole and she got bleeding she is a degree student and will she become pregnent ??

No. The anus is not connected internally to the vagina

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Is it true that if you tickle a mans prostate gland it will make him ejaculate?

The actual term is "Milking the Prostate".

The function of the prostate gland is to assist in the making of semen. It is believed that some older fluid always remains in the prostate instead of emptying out totally in an orgasm so the practice of milking the prostate, massaging until he ejaculates will empty any remaining fluid.

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Are hiroscopes real or is it just a state of mind if u believe in them or not

Is a Horoscope real?

Horoscope: definition n.noun

1. The aspect of the planets and stars at a given moment, such as the moment of a person's birth, used by astrologers.

2. A diagram of the signs of the zodiac based on such an aspect.

3. An astrological forecast, as of a person's future, based on a diagram of the aspect of the planets and stars at a given moment.

On points 1 and 2, I can answer, yes Horoscopes are real as far as those definitions.
It's when we get to point #3 it falls flat.

I would replace your word 'real' for 'accurate'. Are Horoscopes accurate? No. A good astrologer can not come up with a good chart for you based on only your Horoscope or Zodiac signs. And thats because your Zodiac or 'sun sign' is only one aspect of your birth chart. Horoscopes printed to sell an idea of a forecast or prediction for your day or future is a bunch of baloney and not something worth wasting your time on.

However if you are interested in checking out Astrology, thats an entirely different subject. If you are at all interested in hearing a little about it, read on, otherwise you can stop here.

Astrologers through history have refined this into an exact 'science'. My husband is an astrologer. I've come to understand the basics of what it is, from him.

What he's told me in his own words is:
An astrology chart uses not only the date of your birth but the exact time of birth, and the place of birth meaning the city and state. So you see, using the extra information into pin pointing a personalized guidance chart for you makes a big difference. What is Astrology?
Astrology is nothing more than a measuring system, like using a ruler. People will ask, well how does the ruler know? It doesn't. It's a system humans came up with for measuring.
As long as the system is used for whats its intended for and stays consistent within it-self, its an accurate construct for apprehending our world. Astrology is a Language and language is a measuring system too. We use language to convey idea's, thoughts but each person has his own ideas about what each word in a language means in the translation. That does not mean that he is conveying the right interpretation in the agreement of the use of the words. Therefore someone else interpreting astrology for you, no matter how long they've done it, will not be able to convey to you in your own words the same as how you would interpret it doing it yourself.
It is too overwhelming to learn it all and figure it all out on your own. If you decide you are really interested, you'd have to seek out an astrologer and see if they will teach you.


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I'm a 13 year old girl and I call everyone darling, love, honey, etc. They've gotten use to it, but I'll call strangers that too on accident and I get funny looks sometimes. Or if the person doesn't know me well they'll think I'm flirting. Is it ok? Should I try to stop doing this? It feels like I'm being old fashioned or something.

Side note: I talk funny, too. I say words like therefore, no slang, and grammar that's so proper it sounds weird ( because people have become so used to using abbreviations and contractions, whereas I don't use any of that (I don't use it when I speak anyway.) It sounds even weirder because I'm so young.

I would never want to tell anyone to change who they are. Its important to be ourselves.
However, there are times when we must lay aside our preferences for respect of someones customs or rules. To go against it would be disrespectful.

If a girl friend invited you to go to visit her Mosque, you can't walk in with your head undercovered. You'd wear a scarf or borrow head gear of hers.
If entering the home of someone who does not wear shoes indoors, you take yours off too at the door instead of insisting on wearing your shoes.

So is there any compromise to what you address people older than you as? Initially no. There must be a time for adults to observe you with others and how you address them, a time to get to know you that this is part of who you are. Once older people have known you a while and are considered part of the family friends, etc... you might mention that they've likely noticed how you address others. It's a part of who you are and how once you're comfortable with and care about a person, you like to call them dear or honey. And you are wondering if that would be okay with them if you address them like that cus you'd like to but you will respect if they are not comfortable with it. iF NO,its no. I wouldn't address a strange single older man this way, you could draw unwanted attention. It's true that talking using dear, or sweetiepie in addressing someone was always done to me by someone of grandparent age, and on some occasions by certain girlfriends moms. I think people in general feel comfortable with that exchange. Anything different, I'd get their permission first. If you accidently find it slipping out with strangers and get that look, apologize right away. Better safe than sorry.
Talking differently using can not instead of can't and such should be no issue.

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could I be wrong if I would tell him about how I feel? Few months ago when it was new year, I spent my whole night talking with him. He told me that his world changed when we started chatting. He even said he'll never lose me as frnd. I told him that he means alot to me but sooner or later we would forget each other. And he said he will never forget me and i must not forget him to. But i said he must forget me coz i will forget him coz im just being practical and also literally we would forget each. But he said his heart will break if i would forget. He wants to visit me this summer or next yr. Is he falling? Thnk u so much.

The problem with sharing our feelings and telling someone who is a cyber friend how we feel, is that our feelings are part based on fantasy and part reality....they are not total reality. So it is unfair and can get up the hopes of someone with a self esteem issue, or other issues.
If could be something he was going through in life at the time and you happened along on the internet just at a time of his emotional need. So maybe it did have impact on his life at the time enough to say his world changed. I dont' know details of conversations so just guessing here.

You are too concerned with the future. You can't live tomorrow today. You can only live today, today. So it becomes irrelevant whether you or he forget each other in the future.
Have you asked yourself why you keep stressing to him he must forget you? Are you trying to create a convenient exit for yourself in case you grow tired of him or perhaps you're at that stage already now?
So you are connecting his wanting to visit you this summer for falling in love with you? I can't begin to guess what his reason for wanting to visit is and if it has any meaning behind it. You're probably over thinking it. Just enjoy the visit and see how you feel then about him, if you still want to talk to him online, then do so when he returns, if during the visit you realize you have nothing in common at all and you can't imagine why he ever interested you in the first place, then tell him thanks for visiting but you don't have any interest any longer in keeping in contact. Don't beat around the bush. Dont make promises you can't or dont want to keep. We all have to face disappointments and breakups in life. Its painful, and we all survive them and move on to other relationships. So don't worry about him, he'll eventually get over it.

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Well on Tuesday I managed muster up the nerves to tell this girl that I really liked her, but at the last minute I chickened out because I heard that she was going out with her ex again. So that night on Facebook I decided to ask if they were seeing each other and she said yes they were, then started asking if there was something I wanted to tell her...bottom line I snapped and told her that I do like her an have for a while now....this is where things start going down hill....she responded with this..

FINALLY!! i don't mean to sound cocky but ive known for a very long time that you've liked me, but has that affected the way i am around you NO OFC NOT!!! now that you have told me is that going to make things awkward between us deffo not, nothing is going to change between us!! Honest truth, if he wasn't in the picture things would be soooo different and ngl i probably would be with you, but he is in the picture and im sorry but i really like him! i will always have feeling for you, even when im a cripple and married I'll still have these feelings but i just think we should keep wha we've got now!! nothing will change though now you've told me okay, i promise!!

Then I said thanks for being honest ect and she comes back with this (we have an inside joke that we're married with kids, it's a detailed inside joke)

You will always be my husband!! and i mean it when i say this, if you had told me sooner, then maybe, maybe it would have been different but my feelings lie with will :L just know that i did like you and still have feelings for you!! i cant afford not to have you in my life though so please can we still be best friends??

I said yeah but could have some space to get over what has happened and she said that's fine, but yesterday at school I was louder than usual swearing a lot and when I got home all I've done is gloom around my room....what the hell is going on and what can I do about it!? I feel like I'm drowning, what the hell do i do?! (she is in loads of my classes)

If she knew you liked her, all she had to do was ask you out. In todays time, it perfectly normal for girls to do that. If you were really close as best friends, it's even more normal. In fact, I am beginning to believe more girls are doing the asking than guys from what I read.

So maybe she resents you for being too chicken? Well guess what...so was she! If its true she had feelings, and she's brave enough to tell you now, why couldn't she then, huh? If she knew and had it in her mind that she could only be happy with you if you asked her first, then she has some preconceived idea about how things should go and turn out in life. Life isn't a neat little package, its unpredictable and quite messy at times.

She sounds like a typical case of a teen girl with her hormones out of balance, cus her words sound like that is the case. A hormonal imbalance can cause a female to feel depressed, anxious for no reason, or extremely angry and mean or really weepy and sad all the time. Sounds to me like she is going through anger and meanness symptoms and taking it out on you. Hormonal females can't be counted on to be talking reality. Everything is blown out of proportion, or totally made up and many unsuspecting totally innocent of fault people feel the brunt of such a females mean ness. Trust me, raising 3 girls, I know. The anger is never focused on someone who did something to the gal to incite such a response. My daughters have lashed out at me as teens but mostly at their sisters and it was never anything we did. Just their confused way of seeing things.

Besides sounding hormonal which is a physical problem and can be treated easily by a doctor there is a chance instead that she has some mental health issues. Many people who are suffering undiagnosed mental health issues are unable to hold a normal healthy relationship for long.
And along the lines of mental emotional needs You have the Drama Queen. Life can't be even keel with her, its too boring, so drama queens create drama where there isn't any. Create issues where there aren't any. I will point out the drama in case you didn't catch it. The comment about sounding cocky, about knowing for a VERY long time, even when crippled and married she'll have feelings for you still? She probably has no clue she used 'when im a cripple' for GOD's sake, who Plans on becoming a Cripple??? Thats put in for dramatic effect. She could have said "if im a cripple", which would indicate she realizes that who knows what the future may bring, using When, sets it in stone as being reality as if she can predict the future and wants to gain your sympathy over an event that may not ever happen.

Who's she trying to convince you? or herself?? Her next words are to try to gain your belief and trust in her by saying: Honest truth, and im sorry, and i mean it when i say this.

I asked my husband who of course is a guy and he agreed with me that this gal is not sincere in anything she wrote. Shes the kind of female who is playing with your emotions, "manipulative" is the word the husband used. Go back over and read it carefully many more times. Hopefully you will see too how she says something to get your hopes up and says something to dash them in the next phrase. She is trying hard to get you hooked by toying with your emotions, leading you on even if just with a promise of must have you as best friend, can't live without you. She's trying get you to jump through hoops mentally at least....and it worked, she hooked you cus you are taking her seriously by your emotional reactions of swearing alot, feeling gloomy and feel like your drowning. I'll say you're drowning! Drowning in her B#llsh@t is more like it.
Calling you her "best friend?" More b%llsh@t . A really true best friend does not play with their friends emotions like this. If you don't learn to avoid females like this, you'll keep running into them throughout life and falling for their emotionally manipulative ways.
Count yourself lucky that you wrote in for advice. If you can learn to see her for what she is, then you won't want to waste your time pining after her, and seeing in her classes will not be a problem.
You're still young and wanting to experience a relationship with a girl. She might look cute on the outside but somethings rotten on the inside.
You deserve something better for a best friend let alone a girlfriend. If there are any major character flaws and trouble areas about someones personality, it will naturally eventually come to the surface in time. People like to look their best to make friends or find someone to date. We will put our best foot forward and be on our best behavior. Others with "real" problems, will make up a totally false personality and keep up the pretense the entire time you know them. However it can't go on indefinitely. At some point they crack and show you either a glimpse of or all of their true self.
I think you were just shown a glimpse of her true self. This is not the nice girl you thought she was.
I wouldn't even want to be 'just friends' with a conniving, manipulative, selfish, untruthful person like her.
You have to attend classes with her, but you don't have to remain best friends. Tell her you have had some time to think about what she had to say, that you are thankful that she was honest enough to show her true self. And that her true self is someone you wouldn't even want to be friends with. And leave it at that. You don't have to explain. People with the mental issues causing them to act that way are often incapable of understanding that they have problems and it would be a waste of your breath so don't get sucked into conversation with her. Getting into conversation with her to me sounds about as fun as wading through a septic tank.
Cut your losses, learn from this. Move on.

There are many sweet girls you just haven't met yet who would appreciate you and treat you well.
If a girl can enjoy being friends, then theres a good chance she's interested in more, just flirt to see how she reacts. If she likes it she'll flirt back and that means you can proceed with moving from friends to dating. There are many tips to know how a girl likes you like that. When you get to that point with the next girl, write us to get pointers on how to know and we'd be glad to help. Good luck!!

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is it normal to be late for your period if you had stop using trigestrel birth control tablets for a month?

The birth control pill messes up the bodys cycle. I can't say for how long if not taken for a month but i vaguely remember reading someone it can take a couple months to go back to ones normal periods and cycles.
If you're off the pill because you want to become pregnant, this is usually the biggest complaint of the body taking so long to get back to normal so they can begin to try again.

If you're off the pill and NOT wanting to become pregnant, even though your period doesnt come, that doesnt necessarily mean you don't ovulate which means releasing an egg that can be fertilized and thus become pregnant. If not wanting to be pregnant and off the pill for other reasons, you really should be discussing other options with the doctor. Use a condom right now but talk to your gynecologist asap. I like to recommend the copper IUD because there are no hormones to give the body side effects and once you have it taken back out, you can try for children immediately. The IUD lasts about 10 years and you dont have to remember to take anything, its just there ready 24/7.

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So, there are two people at this point in life I would call my best friends. There's a guy, my age(19), who for all intents and purposes will be referred to as Bob, and a girl a year younger than us, who I'll call, oh, I don't know, Jasmine I guess.

We've all graduated high school and work in the area, and Bob and I hang out close to every day. Jasmine on the other hand doesn't get to hang out with us very often because we usually work opposite shifts. On the occasion that I do see Jasmine, it's usually in public and she always makes a very sneaky, yet high-energy and flirty entrance.

She'll always sneak up from behind and hug me tightly, or tickle just under my ribs, or something along those lines. She's always so happy to see me, sticks close and always has some kind of contact, and always has a smile on her face. Now, I understand this is how a lot of girls are with their friends, but she isn't. She - and I, too, actually - hate physical contact with practically everyone. She has literally - on several occasions - noticed me or my car somewhere and stopped in to surprise me.

This is how I know her to act when she's flirting. It's how she's acted with boyfriends in the past, and with her current boyfriend, only even more so with me. And I don't mind, except the fact that we're both in serious relationships.

If she wasn't living with a boyfriend and I hadn't been in the same relationship for 3 and a half years, I would love it. She's very attractive, completely adorable, and I've always felt a connection with her. Our personalities

But, because we've both been in relationships, I've done my best to remain sort of ambiguous about my interactions with her. I don't want to encourage anything, but I don't want to falsely act as though I'm not at all attracted to her.

So, what should I make of this and how should I handle it? Should I ignore it for now, or talk to her about it? Sorry for the long question.

Thanks in advance for any opinions!

No matter what the real reason is behind how she acts with you, If being touched by her in certain ways disturbs you this much, just bring up the issue of it making you feel uncomfortable and you'd rather she refrain from touching you that much. If its true and you and her both don't like being touched by most people, then she should be able to understand and not take it personally.

You mentioned nothing about her or you being bi-sexual. If you were, I think you'd know it cus men and women equally would catch your interest sexually. Its possible to feel really comfortable with certain women to a point, that usually doesnt cross the line into being sexual with each other and not being bi-sexual. If you're one who ends up capable of and comfortable with doing that, it's fine and may not be of concern to your guy but you are still young yet. Let some time go by and see how you feel down the road. You may actually be feeling more flattered by and responding to the idea of a woman wanting you that way because it is sexually arousing to you, even if she doesnt mean it to be. Our minds are the greatest sex organ we have and there is a lot of input that goes in and then becomes sexual fantasies, lots of imaginings based around only a few actions, words or such.
So I vote for saying nothing unless you'd like her to stop touching you totaly and bring just that up. Cus for all you know this may just be more of an imagined fantasy in your head. And thats fine. If she doesnt fantasize this way, it might be a terrible thing for her to know you thought she was hitting on you. It would make her feel uncomfortable and confused around you and could ruin the friendship. It can't be considered being false with a person just because we don't share all our sexual fantasies or imaginings with everyone we've imagined about. This is a part of us better kept private except for your mate and lover where the two of you choose subject matter and fantasize them together. Really think about it, if every guy who has ever even briefly in any way told you that they fantasized about you sexually or imagined you flirting with them, or just kissing them, wouldn't it be uncomfortable or overwhelming? None of us could handle it well cus lots of that attention would be from people we aren't attracted to that way and would probably gross us out. Trust me, this is better kept quiet and enjoyed privately if you enjoy it or ignored if you dont like it, or ask her to not touch if you can't just ignore it.

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