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About Marriage life
Dear Sir,
I was divorcy and before 4 months I once got married. I have left my first wife because she was very crual. On first night she told me that she has came here to marry me but she has left her boyfriend at her village. In my 5 years marriage with first wife we have never enjoy our physical relatinship and my life was distroied like this. I only believe in love so I have given her divorce and given her all wealth and house I had.
Then In search of love I have got a woman who was divorcee and she has got divorce before 12 year as her her information she has left her husband because he was having relationshop with another woman.
My first month of marriage was good. but in second month husband of my second wife got in tough with her and both fell in love once again. Now she told me that she loves him only and cant live without him. She also doesn't want me to live but she wants to have relationship with him because her ex husband is father of her daughter.
She used to harras me daily. She is talking to him daily and when I caught her talking to her ex husband she said that she feels his love only and none is having courage to say anything to her.
I have decided to die buy now I cant understand what to do now.
I am working in multinational company and taking good salary but my wife wants love of her ex husband only.
Kindly advice what should I do now. I have just purchase house for her which is on loan.
Thanking you,
Regards
Tiger
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I am thinking that not only have you no idea of what you are looking for in a partner but you have no idea how to spot the signs that a person may be wrong for you, shallow, not truthful, not on the same wavelength as you regarding everything, ideas, beliefs, how they live their life, hopes dreams goals. With a 5 year marriage that had problems and now other women who aren't wanting to stay with you, I think you need to do some research and study on everything from sexuality, relations between two people and the basics of what is needed to make for a successful relationship. This is way too much information to put in here. Sometimes, the problem is lack of knowledge sexually on how to please the opposite sex. But more often there is nothing wrong with either partner, both are doing the right things but not feeling the passion, and thats because they dont have the right 'chemistry'. It means that something called "pheremones" in each person do not match up right. Without these unseen pheremones matching up right, the two people will not enjoy sex with each other. I have experienced that in life. I had to learn about what I am telling you. If you can't get your hands on books to study on the subject, perhaps the internet. I don't know what country you're in or if you have the capability to look for teaching books like that. Basically, other than the excitement of the first kiss or two...look for how the kisses feel after several days or weeks once the excitement period of the newness of it has worn off, does the kiss still have a feeling of passion, do you feel something or does it feel like you are kissing mom or a sister. If its not there for a kiss, its not going to be there by adding in the rest of any sexual relationship.
Make a list of what you are looking for in a mate.
People who say you can learn to love someone have it only halfway right. You can learn to love a person but there is nothing you can do about the sexual relations part to learn to make it work if you are mismatched.
So on your list of what you are looking for in a mate, I'd say, someone who has chemistry and also likes the same things in sex, adventurous, kinky, conventional, or has the same libido. Its okay to have a high libido and want sex all the time or low one where you don;t require it as often, once a month is good for them. Its okay to be either way. But the problem is when both partners have different libidos...they need to match, no matter what they are. Otherwise, one is doing without or the other is feeling forced to do so when they are not in the mood.
As for the current wife in love again with her ex and childs daddy...you can not force her to stop loving him and love you only. Unfortunately things like this happen sometimes. Better to give her the divorce so she can go back to him. What benefit are you getting from having an unwilling partner around? Does it help you save face, meaning you don't have to worry what other people will think if you divorce again? Who cares what others think. Its none of their business.
Now if you are divorced again, its not the end of the world, some people are slow learners in the relationship game and end up divorced many times before they finally learn what they are looking for. I have an example of that. My oldest daughter, not even age 30 yet, has been married and divorced twice. Now she's with a third man. She thinks she's finally learned what she needs in a guy sexually. The first two were mismatches for her. Besides sex, the other component important to a relationship is that the other person is like your very best friend and treats you as such...this is BEfore you marry. Do you have any close male friends who treat you well? Use that as an example of what to look for in a female. Someone whose word you can count on, someone who has seen you at your worst and best and is still there for you, someone who cares about how you feel, someone you can trust, you having good meaningful conversation with, you enjoy each other company and differences, etc. LIke I said, I can't go into much more detail but this should kinda help give some guidance.
This is nothing to end ones life about, no matter how hard your heart hurts. Look at my daughter. She didn't end it after the 2nd one didn't turn out and now she's found the right one. Good luck
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Stop looking for yourself between the legs of women that leave their husbands. It is only when you no longer need them that a good one will appear. If you think that you can attract a good and loyal mate my buying them houses they will most likely take your house and your soul.
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