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Falling out of love
Its just im like halfways out of the door to moving on but i still hold back. Ive had such a long history together with him and i miss him. I do want to get back woth him but when i think about contacting him i remmeber all the things he said when he broke up with me and i stop. Ive been having dreams about him for an entire week that makes me wake up around 3 in the morning. And i just dont know. I already know i cant make him love me or want me but i just want to try to make him realize that he still has some feelings for me. But at the same time i dont know if i should. What should i do? Because ive kept thinking of maybe trying to talk to him on friday.. Via trxting causewere a bit long distance then try to meet up on saturday for a few house or possibly even one hour only. I just kinda want to try it once more to hear his response in person.
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At this point, why are you asking me what you should do. You've figured out already what you plan to do Friday. Are you hoping for approval?
With your own words you say:: I know I can't make him love me and then, I want to make him realize he still has some feelings for me.
Okay...so you think he has some feelings for you? What kind of feelings? Could you spell it out? Does he like you as a friend? Does he think you're a nice person? Those aren't strong enough to sustain a relationship. Imagine what life woulda been growing up if your mom felt you were a pretty nice kid but didn't love you as her own? Life wouldn't be hell but there'd sure be something missing. I don't think you want anything less than love.
So this must mean that you are convinced that the feelings he has for you are love. If so, is he behaving like a man in love? Not according to the standards of most dating coaches. If a man needs a few days to himself to come to grips with the intense feelings he has for you, realizing he wants to make a long term commitment even though it sounds scary to him, then he needs to do it alone. He doesnt need the girlfriend contacting him. Cus once he has processed through his feelings, he will either come back to you because his feelings of love are stronger than feelings of fear of uncharted territory or something new,
OR he will not contact you again. A guy doesnt need weeks or months. If it takes that long, he's not interested. It could take him a week. I had a guy ask me once to give him a week of no contact he had something to do. I honored his wishes. Little did I know that the speed with which we formed a relationship and intense feelings had scared him. He wanted a week to think about it and sort out his feelings. He never needed the week, after the 3rd day, he called, asked me to come over and then confessed why he'd wanted time away. But he missed me and was all gung ho about dating me now.
Texting him, as you have planned, would be the same thing as calling or just showing up. He needs his space. I suggest you give it to him. No contact, not even facebook or some other such thing. Leave him alone. If he has any love for you he will come back. If he doesnt, you have your answer.
Explanation on significance of the dreams:
All your dreams are telling you is that this is something important to your subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is where all our emotions are stored. Your subconscious mind also takes care of things you don't have to remember to do like breathing, and it takes charge once you are asleep, so dreams you have will come from the subconscious mind and its desires. Yes, we've established already that you want him badly or rather, your subconscious mind does. Is there some significance you can make of the dreams that its a message to you that you are meant to be together? No. Remember, its just your emotions and therefore your hopes and wishes. Its not a done deal.
If your conscious mind is at odds with your subconscious mind, and both of these fight each other, then the subconscious mind, despite what the conscious mind knows is the smart thing to do, will throw a fit like a bratty little kid in order to get what it wants. A brat will cry and moan and throw tantrums because it figures that will get the attention of the other person and they will give them what they want. Life doesnt work that way. Maybe as a kid, mom caved in at times, embarassed, and you got what you wanted. Sometimes if two dysfunctional people get together, it kinda works for a while for them. But for a healthy relationship, no. This should give you something to think about.
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