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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

In college, I had a teacher who made me feel emotionally protected and hugged me a lot. Then I graduated in May. I won't be seeing her again any time soon. Each day this summer I've become more distraught over this fact. I miss her more every day and feel as though no one will ever love me that much ever again. How can I get over this? Do I want to get over it?

You get over it by moving on with life. Your academic life is over and it is time to move on to the cold cruel world of adult reality. Your living at home with a mom you say you have no living attachment to. Yes I looked back at previous questions you have written.

It is time to take that Masters Degree and turn it into a viable livelihood. Then move out and make a life for yourself as you did in school. You will find someone to love you and keep you as your teacher did. You need to go out and find that person, make yourself available to that person for they do not know where you are.

You are a full fledged adult now the safety of the academic world is behind you. You need to carve out your space in this world or it will pass you bye.

Thanks for answering my question subject line, "Advice Needed on Daughters Online Relationship"

I needed to let you know that my daughter is a Sophomore in college and is going to be going to school entirely online. She is not going away to school, so therefore she will be talking to him more online and even growing closer to him. What do you think I should do to discourage her from getting more involved with him? She starts classes next week and I am worried that her grades will drop due to spending time with him online, since her school is online.

You are in a no win situation. Your daughter is 19 legally an adult. You legally have no more control over her than I do.

My best advice is to do nothing. The more you try to discourage her the more she will want to spend time online with him. Monitor but do not hover over her when she should be on-line taking classed. Monitor her grades if you see her grades falling then you need to step in and have a conversation with her.

Long distance relationships or romances rarely work out. HE is 17 and I'm sure he is not sitting home on a Friday and Saturday night. I'm also sure as a 17 year old boy he is also looking for someone to relieve his sexual tension which is one thing you can't really do on-line between two people.

If your daughter is being a wallflower and staying home Friday and Saturday waiting to get on-line with him. I'm betting on those days he isn't available until later in the evening. This should be a red flag to your daughter that he is not sitting home pinning for her and something you can at the right time point out to her.

Other than that like any of us who have raise teenagers you need to let them make their own mistakes and just be there for them when the world caves in on them.

I've had to do that several times for my son and I am now happy to report he is engaged to a very lovely girl and they will marry in Jun of 2018. He readily admits she is the best thing that has ever happened to him and his mother and I agree.

finally I decided to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time but I didn't see any blood and I was worried but d second time we had sex I saw bright red blood which stained the bed and i was relieved we had sex the third time am seeing blood again,please am confused and worried

I don't think you have anything to worry about. The first time you had sex your partner may have pushed through the opening in you Hymen that is there to allow menstrual blood to drain. The second time he most likely ruptured your Hymen and that was the cause of your bleeding. The third time, and I'm guessing now, you may not have given yourself time to heal and the bleeding was he opened the wound caused when he ruptured your Hyman.

Give yourself seven to ten days to heal before having intercourse again. IF you pleas again then I would consult your GYN and find the cause of the bleeding.

i am a 13 year old girl and i ahve been fingered many of times but not given HJ or BJ but i want to know and i want to have sex but i dont know what to do? could you give me some advice x

Your not going to like my answer and that's okay. YOUR 13 THAT IS WAY TO YOUNG TO BE HAVING SEX OR EVEN TO BE ALLOWING BOYS TO BE FINGERING YOU. If you continue down this road your going to get a reputation at school as being easy a reputation you don't want. Yes you will be popular but for all the wrong reasons.

I understand the peer pressure young people are under these days especially young girls to have boyfriends. If having a boy friend means having sex with them or allowing them access to places on your body they should not be touching then it is not a loving relationship.

Young boys do not know the difference between love and lust they believe them to be synonymous, they are not. When a boy says, "if you love me you will have sex with me." He doesn't love you he is horny and he lusts for you

High school relations ships are rarely meaningful relationships. You will have many of high school relationships with boys. It will be in college before you may meet the man you will love for a life time. I'm not telling you to wait until you are married, I am telling you that at 13 you are not ready for sex and you are too young for sex. TO wait a few years before deciding to have sex and then try to find a young man that will make it meaningful.

If you have sexual tension try masturbation.

is it possible for a person to loose her virginty because of finger fucking? After the fingering when you go to the doctor to test for virginty is there a chance you wont be one

Todays definition of virginity is much different then for your grandmother or great grandmother. Virginity for them was an intact Hyman and there was a blood stain on the sheets on the wedding night.

Todays women is much more active, uses tampons and is far more likely to rupture her Hyman long before a penis or finger ever comes near her vagina. Todays definition of virgin is or loss of virginity is when a penis enters a vagina then virginity is lost.

Fingering or oral sex has nothing to do with virginity. Until you allow someone to put his penis in your vagina which is the definition of intercourse; you remain a virgin with or without an intact Hyman.

FYI: There is no such thing as a virginity test. Your doctor cannot tell if you are a virgin or not. All the doctor can tell is if you have an intact Hyman. If you use tampons it is very likely you ruptured your Hyman when inserting t=on.

I'm a person who avoids conflict and I hate rude people because when they're rude to me I end up crying and thinking about it the whole day. Today a customer came up to me and asked how much a product was but in order to answer that I asked him which product because there was 3 different ones of the same one. Then he said did you hear what I said? I said no because I didn't want to explain why I asked which product cause I'm not much of a talker then he went on and said "in school do you listen to your teacher?" And I said yes then he said well then if you can't hear somebody you'll tell them to speak up I said "ok" so I selected a random product for him and told him the price then he said "I don't want that one I want the regular one" okay wtf then you should've answered that when I asked (of course I didn't say that) I said okay I told him the price of the regular one but as I was saying it he added somethings else but the only thing I could think of was him insulting me so then I asked him to clarify what he meant. Then he rolled his eyes and said see you're not listening again I said I wanted this and that. So then I said okay, I gave him his order and then he asked me if English was my first language I said yes. And he said "wow" and walked away. That completely ruined my day and I ended up crying and had a panic attack I also had to leave work early cause that's all I could think of. How do I deal with rude customers and not take it personally? Or what's a way to be polite but rude at the same time so that the customer can't report me to the manager. I'm 18 btw with social anxiety (it's gotten better but as you can see I can't handle conflict I don't know how I'd deal if it was more than one customer today)

First of all if your going to deal with the public you need to grow a thicker skin and not take things personally. There are all sorts of rude people in this world and that guy was one of them. When you asked him which one he realized he knew less then you and had to put you down to feel superior. When he saw he was getting to you he felt compelled to squash you. This is a man who is stepped upon at work and at home and takes it out on everyone else. You were in a now win situation from the start with him.

I once worked for a major international airline at JFK. One of our flights was late arriving. There are certain rules governing late arrivals.
This gentleman comes up to me at the ticket counter and demands compensation for the late arrival. I look at his ticket and under the rules he is not due any compensation as we arrived with in the allotted time. He then starts in on me calling all sorts of names that he is a lawyer and he knows the law so on and so fort. When he ran out of steam I handed he a preprint form we have that explains our responsibility and told him if he felt we wrong he could write to the address on the fork.

HE then told me to do what is physically impossible and started to walk off. As he did I said, "I hope you enjoy your stay in our city." He replied with a one finger salute as the agent next to me was on the floor in hysterics. He thought that was the best non-insulting kiss off he had ever heard. My reply was, just following company policy.

The moral of my story is never take anything personally. I can't explain why people feel the need to berate people who are there to serve them but that is the way some or maybe most are. Had that gentleman been nicer I might have been inclined it was really my choice up to $50. But since he was being an ass I chose not to offer him anything.

So the best answer to your question as to how to how to get a dig in on one of those customers. Just say something like we thank you for your patronage, or have a nice day. If there all pissed off it will sting them and they might go to a manager but what is a manger going to say if you were being nice to them.

Do they go to jail?

This is one of those questions that none of can give a definite answer. My brother in-law was a substance abuse parole officer. Failing a drug test did not cause him to immediately violate someone's parole as there can be false positives. Also over the counter drugs can give false positives or have trace amounts of illicit drugs in them.

In short it is really up to the parole officer and how the parolee has behaved on parole that will determine if the failure will cause a parole violation.

I'm 20 years old and I've been engaged to the perfect man for almost six months now.

I'm extremely mentally ill, but I'm in the process of trying to recover. (I'm deeply serious in this process and journey.)

My fiance's dream wife is a full-time housewife. And that's actually what I'd love to be as I am obsessed with cleaning and cooking and making his life stress-free and overflowing in joy.

But I just don't feel like a "real woman."

What are ***ALL*** the qualities of a REAL woman? Like her personality and what she does.

I'm really... dumb, sadly. So also, what's an easy way to learn how to pay the bills, like organize and pay them properly?

Please tell me ALL you know about becoming a REAL woman!!! Thank you!

Lets start with paying bills. I use online banking to pay my bills and I have most all my bills sent to me electronically. IF your not a computer person then have you bills come the old fashion way by U S Postal service.

Just about every bank offers on line banking. When a bill comes in go to the online banking section of your banks web site and set that bill up in your computer. It is a fairly easy thing to do. Once set up it will be there for use every time you need to pay that bill.

Now look at the bill and see when the bill must be paid by. Lets say the bill is due by the 28th of the month. I get paid on the 1st and 15th of the month. That means the funds for that bill would come out of funds from the 15th pay check. The bank asks for that we allow 7 days for the transaction to take place. Taking 7 from 28 means that I need to pay the bill on the 21st.

On you screen it will ask how much you want to pay, Fill in an amount you are sending. It then asks when to pay from the calendar select the 21st. Then click the pay button. Don't forget to update your check register. It sounds more complicated then it is.

How to be a real women is a very complicated question for being a real women is different things to different women and different men.

Marriage to day is a 50/50 proposition as many women today want both a career and a family. You say you want the type of life we all saw in television programs back in the late 50's and 60's. You want to be Donna Reed and Leave it to Beavers Mother. There is nothing wrong with that and maybe that is what your future husband wants.

Most men to day want a women that will support his career and help him climb the latter of success. She is the trophy wife, Mrs. White bread, the soccer mom. In the bedroom though he wants something much different.

The answer I see fro being a real women depends on what type of family you and your future husband plan to have. That is the real women your family will need.

28 female

I rent even know where to begin I guess I will start from the very beginning. My parents got divorced when I was 3 so I only got supervised visits with my dad every other weekend and then my dad died when I was 12 ,so I barely remember him. Well the other day I got a message from a man on facebook that said that he was my dad's cousin, until then I didn't even know that my dad had cousins. I thought the only family he had was my aunt and uncle which is his brother and sister. He said that he wants to come see me in October, but I don't even know this man that claims he is family. I don't know whether I should meet him or not. I talked to my mom and she said she didn't know if he was family or not, but my aunt says he was my dad's cousin. What should i do ?

I do not think it is right for any of us to tell you to see or not to see this man that is a decision you have to make for yourself. What I can do is maybe clear the water a bit as to why after all these years he has decided to reach out to you.

I define family as immediate and extended. Immediate family is mom, dad, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, sisters,brother and our own children and grandchildren as well as first cousins. These are usually the family you will know the best then come the second and third cousins.

As you get older the cycle of life take sit toll. In my own case a near death experience disabled me forcing me to retire early. With time on my hands I started to search the internet for both distant and misplaced relatives. I started this 14 years ago.

Just recently a branch of the family I knew of but lived in England reached out to me and suddenly my family has doubled in size. There is a larger story here but the reason for that side of the family reaching out is the same as my searching for them. The oldest had just retired and had the time to search. She found some writings on the web I had done and traced them back to the origin and they put her in contact with me.

It is very possible based on what you have written that this cousin may have just found out about you and is reaching out to you. Through him you may find a whole side of your family you know nothing about.

I understand your concern about meeting a stranger. Since your Aunt knows of him then he is also related either her nephew or cousin. If you decide to meet this man I would suggest you ask your Aunt to host the meeting. Y+I believe you will be more comfortable this way and he might be as well.

23/female
So we've been best friends since the first day of kindergarten, and even through my family moving 2 hours away, my best friend and I have remained close. 6 months ago, I got a call from her rejoicing, she just got engaged to her boyfriend of 2 years! And I'm the maid of honor! I should be thrilled but from the moment I heard the news, my stomach has been turning. I dont... HATE her fiance? But I majorly dislike him, and I think the timing for her to be getting married is just awful. She just graduated with a bachelor's in cinema, and is devastated at how hard it is to find a steady job in her field, and regrets her decision. She is also very depressed with her weight, her state of mind right now is just not equipped to handle such a major life event.
She has tried to arrange a get together so I could officially meet him, but we gave up since he insists his "social anxiey" makes him too nervous to meet new people (even though he meet her other friends just fine). So I've met him in passing, like me picking her up and us small talking while she finishes getting ready. Fine, but no joke, every single time I see him, they have a fight in front of me. Every time. And it's for silly reasons, like he was being a prude at the party, or he didn't want to drive 2 mins to deliver something she forgot, etc. One time, they had an enormous screaming fight in their room while I was over because he doesn't like when she has friends over. So I can't come to their apartment, and she can't have friends over anymore because it causes drama...
He's 2 years older than her but he's so immature it drives me crazy. There are so many red flags on him, but I have to start working on the maid of honor speech and plan a party, and I cant. I keep putting it all off because it makes me sad to think about. I'm going nuts because the wedding is in 2 months and I'm against it. I've talked to my boyfriend of 4 years and my mom about it, and they don't know what I should do. I so badly want to be happy for her, but I hate this wedding. What do I do? Thanks in advance for any advice.

Your BFF has made a decision, a life decision that is not your place to second guess her about. You may not like her choice but you do not have to live with the choice she made; she does.

For her part she has turned to her BFF and asked that you make this the best day ever for her. As a brides wedding day is meant to be the best day of her life. Put all the negativity you have in you pants packet and do all the things a maid of honor is expected o do for your BFF.

If your BFF had wanted your advise she would have asked for it. she hasn't. Maybe you see things she doesn't and maybe she does see the things you see. You may not see things she sees in him. Regardless of what either of you see if you are her BFF you will put your personal feelings aside and do this for her to the best of your ability. You will remain her BFF and be there for her should as you may foresee this marriage fail.

This is what being a BFF is all about being there for them when they ask for your help and when they need your help or just being there friend.

Do you have to visit a postal office?

You go to a post office, Bank or any place that sells money orders and purchase a money order with the cash you wish to deposit. Then send the money order to USAA to be deposited in your account.

i have had heaps of struggles with my boyfriend he dumped me today people are telling me to go after him... i think hes a loyal idiot i have no clue weather or not to fight for our relationship. im 13 and a girl :)

Hello young lady.

If you were 18 I might tell you to go after him but your not 18 your 13 and boys your age are fickle and only after one thing. They confuse love with lust and if they don't get what they want they dump you and look for it someplace else.

Simply put boys your age want sex if they don't get it the get frustrated and move on. There is a line boys use that is as old as I am and dirt is only 2 years older than me. The line is; "If you love me you will have sex with me." Remember this line for this line tells you he does not love you he lusts for you, dump him before he dumps you.

Since you are only 13 forget what your friends are telling you. You don't need him. He is maybe a first in what will be many young men you will meet as you go through middle and high school then college. Very few people marry high school sweethearts. The man you marry will most likely be some man you meet in college who will give you the storybook romance you dream of.

Your not an old maid at 13 if you don't have a boy friend or boyfriend. If you do get one or the other in the future remember what I have said about them and make it clear in the beginning what your boundaries are. The last thing you want to be is a teenage mother.

Literally every single cycle, on at least one night, my period leaks in my bed. I have tried everything I can think of to prevent it besides wearing a tampon to bed (which I know is a bad idea and also I just don't like tampons very much).

The issue is that I'm a bit of a restless sleeper, and I end up on my back, side, and front throughout the night. I can't do anything to keep myself in one position, and if I do, it usually ends up in me not really sleeping.

I usually use a night pad (the longest kind I can find) and then put a second pad up the back of my underwear because I do spend a good portion of the night on my back, so that helps prevent leaks that way.

However, I often end up leaking in the front or out the side, and sometimes even at the back beside the second pad.

How am I supposed to keep my bed clean? It's not such a big deal when I'm at home, but during the year when I'm living at school, it's a bit of a hassle to have to get the stains out every month. I can't think of anything that would help other than putting a third pad in to protect the front, but that just seems wasteful and would only solve one of my issues...

Go to a bedding store like Bed Bath 7 Beyond or look on Amazon for a mattress cover to cover your mattress with. Also go to a Surgical supply pharmacy and ask for mattress pads. These are the pads hospitals us and are generally placed under a patients bottom. You can place it on top of your sheet or under the sheet since you are a restless sleeper. Then if you leak all you need to do is change the sheet and put a fresh pad under where your bottom would be.

The mattress cover is a second line of defense against a stain getting through to the mattress.

FYI: Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS)was caused by super absorbent Tampons. Since the manufacturers of those tampons have pulled them from the market this cause for TSS has declined rapidly. Tampon usage is not the way one can suffer TSS. I suggest you talk with your GYN about using tampons overnight and the safety of doing so.

Hello adviceman49, could I ask you a question about me and my guy friend. It's on the topics, has he started to have feelings for me? He said he's going to miss me while I'm away for a month, says he will miss me and it's weird, I said why, your phone is weird (coz he was playing his phone while he mentioned that? He said yeah right looking at me. Why would he add it's weird part?? Said I'm going to miss you, are you going to miss me? I said yes of course. Praises me, you're cute and beautiful. Also said, I've never met a person who's similar and compatible to me and said You do understand me don't you. Don't deny that you don't like me he said, I replied, course I like you. He touches my arms and hands but not in disgusting way, told him you love to touch me yeah, he answered but you love me to touch you, don't you or you don't fancy it? Unfortunately the things is we both have a gf and bf. But I'm thinking at least he must like me slightly and myself like him too. He also says we're good friends but why go and saying things like this? Complimenting me and you're cute and beautiful. Thank you adviceman49. I'm sorry for a long message but I could do with your advice please. Do you reckon he's genuinely serious about me?? Thanks a million.

Thank you for trusting me to answer this question for you. This is not a question I would generally pick to answer from the open forum list of questions as there is no factual answer I can give to you.

For one thing their is information missing that would help me in deciding how to answer this question. Most importantly your ages. If I take this question at face value I am thinking you are two young teenagers and this could be a first love for both of you. IF I'm right I have an entirely different answer in mid. Not being sure and not wanting to insult you or hurt your feelings I will keep to generalities.

In general when someone say I will miss you it is acceptable to believe that person has some type of feelings for you. The difference in types depends on who says this. A parent o child leaving home for an extended period is one type. A BF/GF is another type but not the same. Both have feeling for you. Your parents definitely love you where in you BF may only lust for you.

I wish I could give you a better answer I just don't have the information to do so. Maybe you should write one of the ladies on this site the younger ones may be able to give you a better answer than me.

I'm a 15 year old female if that helps any. At the very beginning of January this year me and my family moved. I was so excited, new house, new friends, new area to explore! I thought it was gonna be great! At first, everything was fine. I made a few friends, the trachers were great, and I was feeling happy! A little after I started getting a really intense homesickness. I tried to brush it off, saying it would go away in a few weeks. 7 months later, and its only gotten worse. Sure, the teachers are great here, my mom adores her new job, and this school will look better on my college resume, by what about my mental well being? My new friends turmed out worse than I thought. So now I have pratically no real friends. Everything is too big, I miss my small town. I think I may be starting to fall into a depression because of this. I'm happy sometimes, but about every night I fomd myself crying myself to sleep. I'm getting better grades, but thats all I can do during the school year. I have to friends to hang out with, and somehow can't make any other ones because people in this school think approaching other people to introduce yourself is weird. Joy is starting to be sucked out of everything I love. Moving back isn't an option anymore. I tried asking if I can live with my grandmother, but that just started an argument between me and my mother. I went back for a visit once, and it was magical! All my friends came to see me, and I was laughing, and I was so joyous! I felt better, got a full nights of sleep, something I haven't got in a long time, and felt myself again. But as soon as we returned home, everything went back to the way it had been. I tried talking this over with my mother, but her repeated answer is always that I'll get used to it. I don't know if I ever will. And it's not like I can make these visits often. It's a days drive to and from there. What do I do? How do I fix myself? Is there any way I can be me again?

I grew up in a big town so I know how kids can be to the new kid on the block. You will always be the new kid until the next new kid comes a long.

I know knowing that does not make it any easier for you but their are things that can make life easier for you and maybe help you make new friends. Big towns and Counties have money small towns usually do not. Because they do the County or towns Park and Recreations Department run different activities many of which are free or of little cost. In our town we have the county community college which also offers activities that Parks and Rec can't offer You can send for their catalog.

What I'm suggesting is make a list, on paper, of things you like to do for recreation. Do you like to cook? The college offers cooking classes. Do you like to hike? Parks and rec offers hiking. Maybe Archery is you thing. Parks and Rec may offer that as well. How about Photography. Both the college and Parks and rec will offer something for that.

Look for activities and clubs to join of things that interest you and that you have knowledge in. Through these clubs and activities you will make friends. Do you like to play sports. Parks and rec sponsor just about any sport you can name.

Frankly you can sit around and feel sorry for yourself or you can make an effort to acclimate to you new home. Going home is not an option so make the effort to make where you are now your home. As you get older your home town will change as you grow into your jog so learn now ho to make friends. Your church is also a good place to make friend and the church also offer many activities.

Your not to young to start planning for the rest of your life. There are two types of people in this world. There are the people who fail to plan and people whose plan fail's. Remember this; having a plan that fails is not a failure for you fix your plan and move on. Having no plan is like trying to walk in quicksand it doesn't go anywhere.

Your going to be fine; just be the girl I think you can be and take charge of your life and you will make a life for yourself in your new town

My 19yr old daughter started an online long distance relationship with a 17yr old guy about 7months ago. They have never seen each other is person except through photos and video chats. He claims that he loves her and wants to marry her in 3yrs and move in with us. I asked her why in 3yrs and she said because that is when I graduate from college. I realized that he is waiting for her to graduate and for her to get a good paying job since she will have her degree, and then live off of her (like a gold digger). When I told her what he is planning to do is use her, she got angry and said that it wasn’t true, and that he will work and help us too. She won’t say what he wants to do as a job, as she doesn’t know. He is not planning on going to college after he graduates from high school, so what kind of a job is he wanting to get without an education. I am so worried that she is being deceived by this guy. She has never had a b/f before so I think she wants a relationship, and is tickled by it. By someone calling her a princess and saying I love you. She had told me in the past that she never wanted to get married, but now this guy has infatuated her and now she wants to marry him and says she loves him. I told her how can you love someone you haven’t seen in person, but she won’t answer me. I am worried that she is growing closer and getting deeper into this guy that has false intentions and is trying to shack up with us. I am already supporting my daughter as she attends college. I don’t need another person to support. She is a great student, has an outstanding academic record. I don’t need a teenager trying to use her, and prevent her from getting her degree, and ruin her life. What can I do to make her understand that this guy is not in love with her and is just out to use her after she graduates from college? I have raised her on my own for 19yrs so there is no father figure to get advice from.

At the moment I'm going to suggest you not worry and just monitor the situation. LDR's rarely if ever workout especially since she is going off to college.

You say she has never had B/F before. Not all that unusual for a girl concentrating on academics in high school. College is going to be different. For one thing all freshmen are in the same boat all starting out fresh with very few if any knowing anyone else. study groups will be formed. Part of college lie is the social life on campus encourage your daughter manage her time so that she can enjoy the entire college experience.

I'm fairly certain that by the end of the freshman year this boy will be old news for a number of reasons. The most import one will be that at the moment thy are about on the same maturity level. After one year of college she will have matured much faster then him.

How do I know this? From personal experience. I could not afford college so I joined the Air Force for the College benefits. I took some course while in the Air Force and the rest when I came home. There was a war on when I served I was forced to grow up faster than my friends who went to college. When I came home on leave I had nothing in common with them. They were still school kids and I had seen things they never would see and I should never had seen, no one should.

Basically that is what is going to happen to your daughter. She is going to have life experiences he isn't having. He will stagnate while she grows and matures.

My advice for now is to stand back, don't argue with her and monitor the situation through her freshman year.

So a few months back i was going through her drawrs to find a certain shurt i was looking for.
Then i see this big object wrapped in a towel - i dont know why i unwrapped it because it was obviouse already im looking at a vibrator.
Also in the same drawer there was an electric tootbrush and a candle which im sure are also used for the same purpse as the vibrator.
Now, i accept the fact that she does that and i shouldnt have looked through her things but MANY TIMES since then i see the electric toothbrush and candle just laying around in full display on top of her night stand or in the bed. What should i do?? Its really making me uncoftarble. I think shes sick for having those things used for masturbation just displayed like that. Does she think im stupid? That u wont figure out what an electric toothbrush is doing in her bed all the time? Please help, how do i tell her about this if at all?

I'm going to be more direct then Dragonflymagic.

Your mother is an adult with and adults sex drive. If she is no longer with your father masturbation is an acceptable form of relief for pent up sexual anxiety. According to a recent survey about 85% of masturbate which includes married couples, singles and teens. Masturbation is healthy, you won't go blind from it and you won't grow hair in the palm of your hand.

Now unless you are responsible for cleaning your moms room what she leaves laying around on her nightstand or on her bed is none of your business. There are two things you can so about mom leaving things out in plain sight in her room.

First: Stay out of her room, it is her private space and you should ask permission to go in there. I know your saying there is a double standard as mom can go into your private space at any time. This is called parenting something you will do when you become a parent. This is how we make sure our children are not doing thins they shouldn't. Now while parent checking your room should mom find your masturbation toys she should just ignore them as you should ignore hers. Being female though you should and can expect mom to make some type of inquiry as to whether you are sexually active.

Two: If seeing these thing so much bothers you close her door so you don't see them when you pass by her room.

A third thing depends on the relationship you have with your mother. IF you have an open type of relationship where you can talk about anything then you can say something to you mom about her leaving her toys out and how it bothers you. This could open a discussion between you on how masturbation is healthy and if you are not masturbating mom encouraging you to try it before some boy talks you into having intercourse with him.

I understand that he couldn't have done anything without me being a part of it, but I was young and foolish at the time and he was older. I'd never been with anybody else and he was my whole world and I'd do anything for him.

I don't want to have to explain the whole situation, but I was with him once when he was shoplifting and they detained both of us. I was never formally charged and released before I could even see a judge. It's not a conviction on my record, but it still shows I was arrested and what for. I haven't been able to get it expunged off because I don't have 2k to do that with. Now a lot of places won't hire me even though it shows I was never charged and that there was no evidence to convict me on (because I didn't have anything, he did).

Then because he was arrested we lost the apartment we were in since he couldn't pay his half of rent and I paid for him to be bonded out. We were both evicted and now I have that on my record too along with $3000 they sent to collections that we were fined for being evicted. Apparently they even took the eviction to court...which I never knew about since I'd broken up with him so there's also a civil case along with the eviction.

Since leaving him I've been trying to get my life back together. I got my own car and went back to college and I'm working on getting my degree and going to grad school. However, ever since then I haven't been able to rent anywhere that isn't school owned housing because of my background. The issue with that is this semester they ran out of housing early and I'm on a waitlist and not sure when I will get in.

I also feel like I'm forced to go to grad school because there's no way I'll be able to rent until 7 years have passed and it falls off my record, I have 5 years of that left 2 until I finish my bachelors and then I guess I'll go for a Masters and by then it'll have been 7 years.

I'm so overwhelmed and regretful that one man could ruin everything for me.
I've been good with saving up money, but can never get enough to pay 2k for my record to be expunged since I can't find a better job than what I have now and even if I did I still wouldn't be able to get rid of the eviction.

I feel like my life is ruined for another 5 years at minimum.

What can I do to better myself? I've been working on building my credit, but other than that how will I ever be able to rent a place again or find a good job until I can get my record expunged?

I know exactly where you are as my son was in a similar situation when his ex-fiancé was arrested. Fortunately for him I was in a position to offer him some help.

I assume the $2,000 is for legal fees for the services of a lawyer. Some lawyers will set up a payment system with a certain amount down and monthly payments. You might find a private practioner willing to do this or possibly a larger legal firm. Then there is also the legal aid society who can help you get the arrest expunged and help with the credit bureau.

You can write the three credit bureaus and explain the circumstances surrounding the issues on your credit reports. They have the ability to remove what is on the reports if they feel they are in error or you had no part in their making. If your name was on the lease you are responsible for the rent. I’m not a lawyer but if you were not notified of the pending eviction or the eviction itself that may be a loophole it depends on the law in your state.

This is where a lawyer can be of help they can write the right type of letter pointing to the proper laws and pointing out any extenuating circumstances that may be in your favor. If you are unable to find an attorney willing to work out a payment system with you then go to the legal aid society that is what they are there for. One thing to stay away from is the companies who advertise they can fix you credit. Many of them are more harm them good. Should you have to resort to one of them make sure to check them out with the Better Business Bureau before signing any legal documents.

So I work in fast food and have been doing sandwiches since I started and I was able to avoid working at the cash register for 3 months but now the time has come and I don't know what to do. I don't want to interact with customers or take people's orders cause I have anxiety, and if I get criticized I can't take it and you know how people are when they're hangry. Any tips??

This is going to sound a bit silly but if you can make yourself picture what I'm about to tell you it actually works.

I found myself in a career where I had to address large crowds of people. Problem I'm somewhat of an introvert and putting me in front of a crowd is a problem. Another presenter gave me two pieces of advice one of which should help you. Picture that everyone on the other side of the counter is naked. If they criticize or are rude to you not only do they get cold food but they don't get their clothes back.

I know it is a bit strange but it does work. In you mind they are the ones that should be anxious as they are naked and you're dressed.

The first time I went on stage to make my presentation. I stood at the lectern and froze. Then I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, thought about what was suggested, opened my eyes and everyone was naked. I gave my presentation everyone applauded and when the stood up they were dressed again. I don't always have to use this trick but when I do it always works.

The other thing you should do is talk to your doctor about getting treatment for social anxiety. It is a big world out there and to try and navigate it suffering from social anxiety is a handicap that will prevent you from gaining your full potential. Trust me on this as until I tool control of mine I was stuck. When I did I became one of my companies leading salesmen then sales manager.

I'm a 14 year old female. I go to a summer camp which is all about the performing arts. We put on musicals/plays for the town. We are doing Les Miserables currently. I auditioned for the role of Fantine, as did my "friend." I got the part and she didn't. She got really upset, claimimg that if I was actually her friend I would not audition for the part she wanted. A bit of background info for the next thing she says: three boys our age act as the casting directors. They were obviously flirting with me after I was done with my audition. So she's claiming that I gave the three of them blowjobs and that's the only reason why I got the part. That's so fucking offensive to me because I worked so hard to get that role, I practiced for hours on end. Whenever I audition I do dress extra nice but I still but so much time and energy into this, I don't deserve to be called a hoe. Not to sound mean, but I am more attractive than this "friend" and most the girls at the camp which will give me a leg up, certaintly, but I get parts because I'm great at it.

She's now trying to spread the rumor and generally being obnoxious. How should I resolve this?

If this is a summer camp friend I would be a Duck and just let role off my back. Your real friends will know better. You can't reason with a narcissistic person so it is best just to ignore her.

Let this be a life lesson; there are friends and there are FRIENDS. Friends are people that are friends as long as you help them get what they want or where they want to go. Then their are FRIENDS who want nothing from you but your friendship and will be there to support you when you need support, pick you up and dust you off when you fall down. These are true FRIENDS.

It is unfortunate but as you go through life you will find both types of friends. You start to see the two in High school and it continues into college and the work place. Learn to recognize the true friend from the friend that wants you only for what you can do for them. If you can do that life will be far less complicated.

As they say in the Theater, Break a leg.

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