i have had heaps of struggles with my boyfriend he dumped me today people are telling me to go after him... i think hes a loyal idiot i have no clue weather or not to fight for our relationship. im 13 and a girl :)
It may seem all cool to have a boyfriend, but having a boyfriend isn't about popularity and feeling more mature. It's about truly loving and caring for someone.
From he way you describe him- you guys seem like it'd be best to stay friends.
Besides, most guys at this age are only after two thing when it comes to girls-
1. Saying they are cool because they have a boyfriend
2. Sexual Interactions- I think you get what I mean.
I hope you understand what to do after getting advice from all these different people. Hope I helped! :D
Dragonflymagic answered Tuesday August 8 2017, 7:48 pm: If you meant "royal idiot" I do understand well because throughout school, I always felt the guys were so immature. It is good that you are able to see this. The thing is to not feel like you are 'naked' or 'weird' because you don't have a boyfriend at your side, like an accessory to show off. You only date someone until the point that you don't like how they treat you or you see a behavior they kept hidden before but now its there and causes troubles in the relationship. That is when You Dump the Guy!
As Advice said, boys this age do have a very narrow perspective when going after a girl. Due to hormones raging, the big one is wanting sex with any girl they can cajole or trick into having with them. I have another line they tend to say (from girls who wrote to me on here) "You say you love me. So prove it by having sex with me!"
No, no no no, that is soooo wrong. They are twisting a truth to their benefit. It is true that just a guy saying he loves you isn't good enough to know he really loves you. He proves how he loves you (same with you for a guy) by how he treats you, the special things he does for you. You are attracted by his looks, but people fall in love over how a partner treats them. Then sex comes into the picture. Making love/sex is an outpouring, a byproduct of being in love, it is a way to do something special to 'celebrate' your already established love between each other, not a way to prove it to each other.
Your friends, at your age will not know any more than you do, even if they have dated before as well. It takes many more years of experience to even begin to learn how to find a great guy.
Another narrow perspective guys tend to have at this age and it may still be there for some guys at college years or later, is having been brain washed by media that only girls who are cute and have model type tendencies are the ones to go after to date. Therefore, so many great girls get overlooked. A good thing is that the percent of guys who still believe this gets smaller as they grow older and mature. So don't go after him. Heres another piece of advice. When girls go back to guys whose behavior and treatment of them is less than satisfactory, guys tend to learn that they don't have to work hard at treating girls well because they can treat girls like crap and yet girls will still want to date him. That is why there are so many men who never learned how to treat a lady right, even at older ages. Never settle for less than what you want. If you can't get a good boyfriend for now, then do without, as was said, you are not an old maid or undesirable, you have lots of time to learn. I still didn't know enough to avoid marrying the wrong guy at age 20. So take your time. and as you did this time which is a smart thing to do is write in with your questions here. There are people of all ages here but I do know that the majority who answer most all questions are college age, moms at home and older people with long lives of personal experience so you can get better advice going to someone older than you, even in person like lets say an aunt you are close to if not Mom. Maybe there is another adult in your life you are close to who is open minded and would love to try to give advice and they know you the best. Here, we may be missing information that could change how we answer, but for the most part, just go with the advice that seems to make the most sense to you. It is your life and you will be learning how to make more and more good decisions on your own. Good luck dear [ Dragonflymagic's advice column | Ask Dragonflymagic A Question ]
adviceman49 answered Tuesday August 8 2017, 3:24 pm: Hello young lady.
If you were 18 I might tell you to go after him but your not 18 your 13 and boys your age are fickle and only after one thing. They confuse love with lust and if they don't get what they want they dump you and look for it someplace else.
Simply put boys your age want sex if they don't get it the get frustrated and move on. There is a line boys use that is as old as I am and dirt is only 2 years older than me. The line is; "If you love me you will have sex with me." Remember this line for this line tells you he does not love you he lusts for you, dump him before he dumps you.
Since you are only 13 forget what your friends are telling you. You don't need him. He is maybe a first in what will be many young men you will meet as you go through middle and high school then college. Very few people marry high school sweethearts. The man you marry will most likely be some man you meet in college who will give you the storybook romance you dream of.
Your not an old maid at 13 if you don't have a boy friend or boyfriend. If you do get one or the other in the future remember what I have said about them and make it clear in the beginning what your boundaries are. The last thing you want to be is a teenage mother. [ adviceman49's advice column | Ask adviceman49 A Question ]
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