|
How to deal with customers when you have social anxiety?
So I work in fast food and have been doing sandwiches since I started and I was able to avoid working at the cash register for 3 months but now the time has come and I don't know what to do. I don't want to interact with customers or take people's orders cause I have anxiety, and if I get criticized I can't take it and you know how people are when they're hangry. Any tips??
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I agree with Adviceman that:
Social anxiety is a handicap that will prevent you from reaching your full potential. I used to have it, so I would know. I actually had it very bad. I was cured of it without medicines as the medical community did not address the issue of anxieties nor have medicine for it. Medication only masks the problem. Its like placing a bandage over a cut or scrape you did not disinfect and it grows to become pus filled and sore and all you keep doing is slapping new bandages on with out going after the root issue.
I have heard the advice of picturing people naked and thus vulnerable, more so than you, as a method to get over being afraid or nervous or anxious. I knew it back it HS. I know it has worked for many people. I can only suppose that perhaps depending on the severity of the anxiety, is whether this method will work for you or not. It certainly won't hurt to try. I tried it for doing book reports but it did not work for me. I was happier taking a D in class for not doing book reports than even attempting to do them.
However at the time I graduated HS, I was sick and tired of being like this and knew it would affect me greatly as an adult if I could not navigate my life without being able to speak to people. I was as scared of you at potential criticism coming my way. I always assumed the worst and never thought it was the other person who had issues and felt it must be me. I hated that feeling when someone said something in anger to me and it felt like a spear stabbing me in the heart along with a jump in the adrenaline and heart beat increasing. Sweaty hands and feeling weak and shaky sometimes accompanied it too. I just shared that to let you know I was in your place. I also worked fast food but that was more recently in my 50s, for a year and 1/2.
I was hired as cashier because they had too many non English speaking people at the time. I know that all fast food restaurants want the customer to feel welcome and so they stress being polite and interacting with the customers. I did this naturally as i have been doing for years. I am now more outgoing and bold than people I once thought to be so outgoing. SO there is hope if the other tip doesnt work for you.
I got so desperate to be rid of my anxiety that I was willing to diligently do anything I had to, to get over it. Odd as it may seem, I actually prayed and asked GOd what to do. I was given one step at a time to conquer before even being told the next one. It was simply, worked quickly and I could go at a pace comfortable enough for me. In recent years, I picked up a book on anxieties and non medicinal methods of being cured of the various types of anxiety and was surprised to find the exact same method God gave me, outlined in this book. So I will share those steps with you in case you wish to try. I will say that the steps to feeling comfortable conversing with customers are ones that will be employed daily no matter if working or not but will impress the boss if you are using them with customers. i found once I was comfortable talking to strangers, I something about that gave me a level of self confidence that helped me to be able to handle the few times someone got critical or yelled at me. It didn't bother me much, mostly just surprised me. It is a very small percent who actually do a verbal attack and more times in fast food, it is directed at the entire staff, not just one person.
None of this involves using people you already know because you already have some comfort level there Also start at the point where you have anxiety. For me, I was terrified of even looking people in the face and just smiling. If you can do that, move on to the next step. For this exercise, you will have to drop the teaching, “Never talk to strangers”. Just use common sense and talk to people in public places where other people are around and don't go off alone with anyone. So here's your lesson.
1. Smile at strangers every day as you come across them. When you are comfortable with this, move on to step 2
2. Smile and add saying hello to people you don't know. This is already harder because your mind will be going, "They're gonna think I'm nuts cus I am saying hi and they dont even know me." When you can do this without feeling awkward or shy, move to step 3
3. Smile and say hi to and then pay a compliment to another person you don't know. It could be telling the grocery clerk you love her necklace. Keep paying compliments to people until you can do so without being fearful of their reaction or simply the act of doing it.
4. Smile, say Hi, and start a conversation with a stranger. Here's an example. When I'd be at a clothing rack and another woman was there...no matter her age, I would make a comment to her about the clothing. I'd pull something off the rack and ask what she thinks of it for me.
Keep trying statements with a question to get responses from a person. If they don't open up and start responding and sharing some of their story or thoughts then they are part of the 10 % of people who are hermit like and don't like being around people or talking to them. I took a class that taught about personality types and discovered that 90% of people are very friendly but will not start conversation first. If you can learn to start conversation first, in every situation, you will find that the majority of people respond in a very friendly and supportive way. They won't find the fact that you start talking too weird. Once they figure you're a naturally friendly person you will see them willingly respond back and share bits and pieces of information and such.
I was trying to pick ripe but not over ripe melon one time when an older woman was tapping and listening to the melons. I asked what she was doing and she explained that there is a certain sound it makes so I learned something. Later we bump into each other in another aisle, and I say, "Well Hello again!" Her response, "Hello again. Do you use coupons?" "Sometimes." "Do you buy this product," she shows me something in her cart, "Yes I do." "Well I happen to have a coupon for a great deal on it if you'd like," and without waiting for my response reaches into pocket and hands it to me. You'd be amazed at the conversation you could have with people and be able to share helpful info with them or vice versa. And sometimes in the conversing you may find people who you have some things in common with and you decide to keep in touch with and exchange cell numbers and /or get their name for facebook friending. Once you are comfortable with talking to one person, then its a small matter to talk to groups of people.
Learn the register well and don't worry the first weeks worth of days you are training for and doing the register. You need to feel comfortable with that before you try anything other than a simple greeting of Hello, how may I help you today, with a smile. I also had to go clean tables in between when there were no new customers coming in so I sometimes chatted with a customer briefly while cleaning a table near theirs. Compliments always work. You can even compliment men if you like the saying on their tee shirt or they seem overdressed in a suit and tie. I remember saying "Wow, you are overdressed for this place. Nice suit." The guy smiled and said they just came back from a wedding and were just grabbing food to take home." "Ah, so thats explains the suit." I'd reply and that was all I said other than taking his order. No long convo's as time is of the essence in taking orders but a short exchange like that takes around 10-12 seconds. Once you are more comfortable with cashiering, you can add short comments too after you've handed them their change or reciept. One time the next guy in line had a big ink blotch on his shirt pocket. "Oh dear, I commented, did you know you have an ink stain on your shirt? I pointed. He figured it was ruined and i told him of two products that might take it out. He was so grateful for the info and kept thanking me.
There will be regulars who come in daily if not twice a week. Regulars are important to fast food.
i tried to memorize one or two new names a week. just say that you see them all the time and feel bad you don't know their name, and they are glad totell you. I could be busy handing change to a customer when one i know by name comes thru the door and i call out, 'hi Nancy, hi Bill. People just love being greeted by name if regulars. It shows a level of interest and being happy they came in again. Makes them feel recognized and appreciated and that is what many fast food places will try to train their employees to do. Most are not personable enough with customers and I remember the regional manager not counting enough employees interacting with customers so his solution was hide all the creamers and sugars rather than having them out so a customer would be forced to ask for them and the staff member having to ask how many and what kind of sweetener. To his thinking, that was interaction with customers. Heck I could have taught a class how to do that. Making them ask for items they needed was a sad and poor non effective way to force sharing a word or two with a customer and will not make a customer feel anymore appreciated and glad to be there. I had customers calling me by name as they came in the door and as I swept or cleaned tables, they would be eager to share something with me, or I was the one they came to to alert if someone spilled their pop on the floor or that bathroom was out of soap or toilet paper. They could have told anyone but consistantly choose to interact with me due to the tiny bit of interest I showed them and it was not a memorized line that the company taught us to say. Thanks for coming in doesnt sound genuine anymore after you hear the same line over and over where ever you go. People really do like more personal interaction than only that. I hope this all helps you with the new position and helps you in talking with customers.
If a customer has a issue and starts yelling at you bringing up a sandwich not made right or their order was wrong, remember, you didn't make the sandwich but customers tend to complain to the face up front. Follow instructions they give you on how to handle complaints. Half the time, it was as easy as calling over the store manager or shift manager.
Let me know how this works out for you. I really do care to know as I had both things, anxiety and fast food experience in common with you.
]
This is going to sound a bit silly but if you can make yourself picture what I'm about to tell you it actually works.
I found myself in a career where I had to address large crowds of people. Problem I'm somewhat of an introvert and putting me in front of a crowd is a problem. Another presenter gave me two pieces of advice one of which should help you. Picture that everyone on the other side of the counter is naked. If they criticize or are rude to you not only do they get cold food but they don't get their clothes back.
I know it is a bit strange but it does work. In you mind they are the ones that should be anxious as they are naked and you're dressed.
The first time I went on stage to make my presentation. I stood at the lectern and froze. Then I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, thought about what was suggested, opened my eyes and everyone was naked. I gave my presentation everyone applauded and when the stood up they were dressed again. I don't always have to use this trick but when I do it always works.
The other thing you should do is talk to your doctor about getting treatment for social anxiety. It is a big world out there and to try and navigate it suffering from social anxiety is a handicap that will prevent you from gaining your full potential. Trust me on this as until I tool control of mine I was stuck. When I did I became one of my companies leading salesmen then sales manager.
]
More Questions: |