Gender:
MaleMember Since:
June 18, 2009Answers:
8136Last Update:
May 26, 2019Visitors:
140964Favorite Columnists
karenR
AyyItsKristen
Erinn_the_bamf
Xui
storageanddisposal
lvr
Smartone
bewise
GradingCurve
anonymous99
HildaJrCarter
more...
Main Categories:
General Sex Questions
Abusive Relationships
Cooking
View All
about
My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
Female, 16 years old. Okaay, i live in the state of New York, and i hate my parents so much, Well my mom, and her boyfriend. They don't do anything for me, but spoiled my brother. anyways can i run away ? I've been thinking about it, but i don't wanna get in any trouble.
As for running away. Given the new federal standards for age of consent. I would think you would be labeled a runaway, found by the police and returned to your mother. Not something you really want to do.
As long as mom, she is the one legally responsible for you and, dad may be as well; if they are divorced it depends on the divorce agreement, does what is legally responsible of her. You really have nothing to complain about. The fact that she spoils your brother and not you is not a legal requirement.
Legally she must keep a good home for you, properly feed you, clothe you, send you to school and see to your physical and mental well being. This does not mean she must provide designer clothing or she must provide steak every night or a different meal for you then the rest of the family; unless it is of a medical necessity.
If mom is doing what is required of her by law then you have no right to run away or seek assistance of the police or child service agency. If you are being abused, denied medical attention, food or proper clothing. Then you have reason to seek help. Running away is not the way to seek help.
Is there an Aunt, Uncle or grandparent you can talk too? If so I would suggest you do so. Mom may not realize how you are feeling. She may be spoiling your brother for reasons you are not aware of. There are times when things may not be as they appear. If there is someone you can speak to who can talk to mom for you then please do so. This could be just a misunderstanding on moms part thinking everything is okay with you.
It is not unusual for a girl your age and her mom not to get along. Mom just may be thinking this is a normal phase you have to go through. Speak up and tell her how you feel if there is no one else who can speak for you.
alright heres the thing ill be 14 soon i weigh from 113 some days and 120 others i wanna loose weight and this summer i was down to 108 but my parents and everyone find out i was doing it the wrong way i love not eatting it makes me feel so much better is it wrong to do something i enjoy?
short answer YES!!!
Just going by your age I do not see where you are overweight. Of course this would depend on your height and frame size as well. Though if you are in the average range for your height and frame size you are well within the weight guidelines for your age.
Weight will fluctuate from day to day and from morning to night. The best way to keep track of your weight is to weigh yourself on the same scale at the same time of day on the same day of the week; once a week.
As for not eating. This is very bad for you health wise. From what you said that you enjoy not eating has me concerned that you may be becoming anorexic. Anorexia Nervosa is a horrible disease if left uncorrected will kill you.
I do not wish to scare you but I will if this is what it takes to make you understand. I watched a good friends daughter die from this disease. She was a Ballerina a very pretty girl who was the lead Ballerina for a New York Ballet Company. She died a horrible death.
When you are underweight even by 10 pounds the body feeds off itself, this is one reason why the body stores fat as a reserve. When the body runs out of fat it starts to shut down different systems in order to preserve brain function.
The kidneys are the first to shut down, followed by the renal system, then the lungs, the heart and finally brain death. For what; to look like the models in the magazines? Those photos are all airbrushed and most of those models are underweight and their clothes hang off of them if not properly fitted to them, if they can be fitted to them?
Most of those models are ashamed to show their bodies in the nude for they are just skin and bones and look more like boys than woman.
At the weight range you are seeing you are a very good weight for your age. You are also only 13 in the throes of puberty. Your body is changing. You're losing your baby fat and changing into a young women. Give yourself time to change. IF you want; give your body help by properly exercising. Just remember that muscle weighs more than fat so find out how to exercise so as not to build up muscle mass.
If you eat properly. Which means staying away from junk food, snacking healthy, you will remain at a proper weight. A lot of thought at the moment is being given to having six small meals a day rather than 3 large meals. Consult your doctor to see what he or she may think of this for you.
Hi!.
My period was start july 6th end of 9th day i had sex wth my bf ,14th day 5 days after my period, its is safe ?
I'm sorry you did not care for my answer. Just because I'm a man does not mean I am not aware of the workings of a woman's body. I have lived with a women for 42 years and have grown quite familiar with how they work.
If you want not to get pregnant then there are two ways to do so. One is to not have unprotected sex both to prevent pregnancy and the other is to prevent disease. The other is to know when it is most likely when you can get pregnant. The only way to know this is to know when you ovulate. Unprotected sex during the time of ovulation is almost a 100% guarantee you will get pregnant. This is why it is important to know this. If you are over 14 no one will question you about the purchase of this kit or condoms. You can even have a private conversation with your doctor about birth control that you parents can never know about.
Look up a Federal Law called HIPPA and read the part about young people and medical confidentiality relating to their reproductive system.
This will depend on when you ovulate. Most women ovulate sometime during the middle 14 days of their cycle. Studies show that 80% of women do so during this time. The other 20% ovulate at other times including during their periods.
If you happen to be one of the 20% who ovulate at other times of their cycle then there is a chance you could become pregnant if you had sex on that same day.
If you are going to have unprotected sex, not recommended, ask your pharmacist if they have ovulation kits. These kits are designed to tell you when you ovulate and is good to know if you are going to use the rhythm method of birth control.
Before using the kit you should take a home pregnancy test to make sure you are not pregnant.
I am a 24 yr old women from India, two weeks back i had intercourse with my boyfriend and i'v not used any protection or contraceptive measures but on that same day i got my periods, are there any chances of me getting pregnant?
The chance of getting pregnant on the day of your period are fairly slim though not unheard of. Your period is the cleansing of your womb so your womb is not really ready for an egg to be implanted. Also you must be ovulating at the time of or with a few days of intercourse.
Most women ovulate some time during the middle 14 days of their cycle. Studies show that 80% of women do so during this time. The other 20% ovulate at other times including during their periods.
If you happen to be one of the 20% who ovulate at other times of their cycle then there is a slight chance you could become pregnant if you had sex on that same day.
I'm not sure if this kit is available in India but you should check with your pharmacist, if not it is available on line. Ask if they have ovulation kits. These kits are designed to tell you when you ovulate and is good to know if you are going to use the rhythm method of birth control.
Before using the kit you should take a home pregnancy test to make sure you are not pregnant.
I am 14 and my bf is 16 he proposed to me and I said yes but Ian a bit worried about what everyone keeps saying online about it being too young please help.
Depending where you live you may be legally too young to be legally engaged. Here in the states there is a law called age of consent. In most of the states that age is now 18 years of age.
What age of consent means is you can not consent to things such as sex or marriage, sign contracts or drop out of school if you are under the age of consent.
Other countries, particularly western countries have similar laws and the age of consent will differ from one to another. Certain religions may hold that you may marry at your young age but the law of the land will always trump the religious laws.
With all this being said and not knowing anything else about you such as where you live or religious beliefs that could be behind this. I would say that being engaged is one thing and being married is another.
If you do not plan to marry until you finish school then the heck with what others say, enjoy your engagement. Just remember to check the law to see at what age you are legally able to consent to marry before planning a wedding.
Note: On the other hand I do think you and you Fiancée are a little too young to be in such a committed relationship. Your teenage years are a time to mature and learn how to be an adult. Part of this is by being with other people. Dating others and seeing what other people are all about.
Years ago what you are feeling right now would be called puppy love, a first love. It is real and it will hurt if you break up and just about everyone does. This is all part of growing up.
I can't and I will not tell you what to do as it is not right in this instance for me to do so. What I will tell you is not to listen to people when they tell you how to live your life. This is your life and you should live it as you feel you should. You will make mistakes, this is a given. But this is how we learn.
If I think it is wrong to be engaged at 14, well that is my right. IF you ask for my opinion then I will give it. You have not asked for my opinion only my help which I hope I have given you.
I'm a 17 year old teenanger one day when i was with my my boyfriend he put his penis maybe 4 or 5 minut and i told him that it hate and he remove it and then he put his finger and the thing is i never bleed and i want to know if i'm still a vargin or not
Today's definition of virgin is someone who has not had sexual intercourse. Sexual intercourse is defined as the penetration of a vagina by a penis. Bleeding does not have to occur.
Blood on the blood sheet is the old world definition of a woman's virginity. This was before women became liberated and able to do more than just work on the farm, cook or clean the house.
It is possible that an active girl/women can lose her Hymen through sports activities, bike riding, gymnastics and other activities. If you use tampons it is possible you may have dislodged your Hymen. This does not mean you ruined your virginity. It just means you probably won't bleed during first intercourse.
Once your boyfriends penis penetrated your vagina, the moment he did so you lost your virginity. One other thing; if your boyfriend was not using a condom and was in you for the four or five minutes you wrote about. Even though he may not have ejaculated, he may have expressed enough fluid, referred to as pre cum. This fluid contains enough semen to make you pregnant.
You may want to get a home pregnancy test kit and follow the directions as to when to test, how long after the intercourse occurred and time of day. To see if you are pregnant.
im 15 and well my penis is not that big it hasnt grown much at all its really worrying around what age does your body keep growing too will it get bigger? is there something wrong?
As long as you are going through puberty your body will continue to undergo changes. Just when and what changes will take place is something that I can't answer. This may be a discussion you want to have with your doctor who is better qualified to answer.
Below is an answer I wrote some time ago for someone else with a similar question. It may not answer your question though it may put you mind at ease over the size of your penis.
According to the latest Ansel Research Survey; the average male penis when erect is between 5.1 & 5.9 inches long.
Keep in mind that this is the average, the middle between the largest and the smallest, above the micro-penis (below 2 inches in length). The survey states that size varies based on age, time of day, level of excitement and ambient temperature.
What you are born with is what you have. There is no way to enhance, or enlarge a penis even with surgery. Penile surgery is usually done to assist those with erectile dysfunction when there is no other medical solution that will help.
Average Vagina Size
Relaxed
Length 3 1/2 to 4 inches
Diameter 1 Inch
Aroused
Length ("tented) 5 to 6 inches
Diameter 1 1/2 to 2 inches
As you can see by the size chart of the average female vagina. Any penis over 6 inches in length and 2 inches in girth is larger than the average vagina can easily accommodate. A larger penis will cause a woman with an average sized vagina pain during intercourse, especially if the male is not a thoughtful and considerate lover.
Me and my fiance are together no for 7 years he wants to swing and I'm not really up to it but they say relationships is 50 50 you must make sacrifices for each other but the idee of my man toaching and kissing another woman is making me feel that I'm not good enough and I wonder why must I live? 25 female
My views are very liberal when it comes to consensual sex. Even so I have one very strict rule. Consensual means consenting which means both parties have to be in agreement to first have sex together. Consent to the type of sex or fetish one partner may wish to try. In what you have written about swinging or wife swapping as it was once called both parties have to be in agreement. If one says no then it is not consensual.
To some degree sex is part of the 50/50 of a marriage. An example might be I want to make love tonight you're too tired. Then you think its been awhile what with us both being tired and conflicting schedules. You give into me. This I see as part of the marital 50/50 relationship as putting yourself out for the other.
Swinging on the other hand has nothing to do with part of the marital 50/50 relationship. This is something totally apart from that and needs consent of both parties if you are going to do it. You have said no or want to say no. In which case no is no. It is not done. You are not comfortable with doing so.
This is not something like a new sexual position or new sexual technique like maybe anal sex where you can try it and if you don't like it you just don't do it again. Swinging from your own words is something that can ruin your marriage.
I'm not sure why your fiance wants to try swinging. What I believe is he for some reason may want to spice up your sex life. He might think that by swinging you both will learn new things. Frankly I don't agree with him on that.
I don't believe you are not good enough for him. I believe that given your age and if he is the same age. That maybe he feels he has missed something. What this requires is that you two have a frank discussion about your sex life. It may mean that you both see a couples counselor or even a sex therapist together. You will only find this out by talking to each other.
Communicating is my second hard and fast rule of marriage or relationships as well as sex. Sex only takes a relationship so far. One day you wake up and find that you need to talk to one another and you really don't know how. Learn to communicate with each other. Not just about things of the relationship such as household bills and things. But about each others wants, desires, goals in life and dreams so you can support each other as you go through life.
Short answer to your question. Swinging is not something you have to live with as part of the 50/50 of a relationship. You can and should, based on the feelings you gave, say no to swinging. Then you and your husband need to learn to communicate with each other. Enlist professional help if need be.
i think im bipolar.. ive read alot about it online and in books because ive had people ask me if i was.. what do i do? Do i just have to live with it? My emotions do change rapidly all the time ..
I'm sorry you do not like my answer. Feeling as you do the only proper thing to do is to seek medical help. Given the age information showing for you is to ask your parents for help.
You asked if you have to live with it. The answer is no. But to get relief from whatever this is bipolar disorder, depression, or HDAD you need to have it properly diagnosed then treated. The only way to do so is as I outlined for you.
Just for the record I am old enough to be your grandfather and I hope you will take my advice to heart as it is mean to help you and will not harm you in seeking medical advice.
The testing for these disorders and the treatment is not invasive or painful. Testing is being asked to answer some or a list of questions. Depending on the findings the treatment is either talk therapy or talk therapy and medication.
I hope you will change you mind and take my advice to talk to your parents. We are not ogres we are only interested in your pest interest that is what parenting is all about.
It takes a trained Board Certified Psychiatrist to make this type of diagnosis. The symptom you gave is only one of the many different symptoms that need to be present for bipolar disorder.
Another name for bipolar disorder is manic depressive disorder or manic depression. So there would be a variety of other symptoms that would have to be present. This is why it so very dangerous to self-diagnose any illness. Doctors are properly trained to make diagnoses that we, by reading about these things do not have the training or the practice to allow us to properly do so.
What needs to be done and what this type of research is telling you to do is to seek out the proper medical professional to make a proper diagnoses. My suggestion is you make two doctors appointments.
The first appointment is with you family doctor since the second doctor I would like you to see is only going to ask you to have a physical anyway. The physical is required to rule out any organic reason for how you are feeling or acting. While you are with your family doctor you can and should tell them why you are requesting a complete physical. This will allow you family doctor to do a preliminary screening for the disorders that concern you and advise you if they feel you need to see a psychiatrist for further diagnoses.
The second doctor should be a Board Certified Psychiatrist. Why a Board Certified Psychiatrist? Many states allow any Medical Doctor who has done a rotation in psychiatry to practice psychiatry. A Board Certified Psychiatrist has had advance training through a fellowship and past certain other training and testing to receive Board Certification. This makes a Board Certified doctors better trained in a particular specialty.
Both the certified and non certified doctors charge the reasonable and customary amount for the area you live in. Why not get the better trained doctor since the cost is the same.
You may or may not have bipolar disorder. You may be developing ADHD as you are coming of age for that problem as well. Some symptoms of ADHD mimic bipolar disorder. I'm not a doctor and neither are you. The best thing to do as you are too young to seek medical help on your own; is to tell your parents how your feeling and ask them for medical help.
If you school is like the ones in this area you are going to need a preschool physical before returning to school in the fall. Then you will have the opportunity to say something to the doctor at that time. Mom could tell the doctor to ignore you but they won't. If you tell the doctor something they will check you out for what you complain about.
I am 62. I have only medicaid, which in my state, is useless. Nobody takes it. I have had several mammograms show masses, the last one yet another new mass, but they won't do any biopsies. I have masses in my cerebellum, now a new one on the other side. they won't do anything, not try to remove, biopsy, nothing. it is because treatment is expensive and medicaid (in my state) pays pennies. no hospitals will let me in, and one was honest enough to tell me that their hospital would admit me but nobody on staff would accept it.
i am constant pain, trying to keep going, not knowing if the breast masses are cancer or if they moved to my brain. i wonder how sane any doctor would be, living with this "not knowing"?
i am tired now. I don't live, I exist, each day, in poverty. i am losing my will to keep going. i am hopeless, not mentally, but medically. how does one keep going each day, knowing their health is rapidly declining, and nobody will help?
i do understand that doctors and hospitals cannot work for free. but they have pretty much made it clear to me that i do not matter. i am a human being, but it is all about the people who can pay, not about a human life.
i have donated my body to medical science so there will be no funeral costs, not that i have a family to have a funeral.
i am asking, if anyone knows if there is any place, any doctor, anywhere, who would help me pro bono? anyone anywhere.
it is hurtful to know that i don't matter.
obamacare? people seem to believe that that "coverage" equates to care. It won't. I am "covered" by medicaid. it is meaningless.
i want one doctor, anywhere, to care enough to at least do the biopsies so I can at least know what i am dying from, and how much longer.
thanks for anyone who can give any suggestions.
First I believe at 62 you are covered under Medicaid which is a state based federally funded program. Medicare usually does not kick in until your full retirement age or after a waiting period if you retire early. Medicaid is a federal program for which the state has no control over and pays more than most state controlled Medicaid programs.
Regardless of which program you are covered under you should not be having this type of problem. Private hospitals are more selective in patients they accept over a county or state owned and operated hospital. You will find a state or county owned hospital more agreeable to Medicaid or Medicare patients.
Second no hospital can turn a patient away without providing a certain level of care. That level of care is a minimum level of care to treat the patient for the problem they present with. Not just to diagnose them and street them.
What I would suggest is that you start by calling your local State Medicaid office and tell them of your problem in getting treatment. They can and should be able to intercede for you. IF you are correct that you are covered under Medicare they will advice you who to call at your local Medicare office.
There are many doctors and medical clinics that accept both Medicare and Medicaid I'm certain by contacting the proper office they can help you find a participating doctor or clinic close to your home.
I was sexually abused in the 7th grade and afterwards I found a social website called "yoville" I made an account made a fake avatar and messed around with it. At first it was just a game to take my mind off things but 3 years later I am still on it and it's become an addiction. I've made a fake storyline for my "character" formed friendships tell them about this character's problems. Every day I go on this and waste hours pretending to be a gayy man who has had a troublesome life. I actually feel as if I am him. When in reality I am a female in highschool. I don't know how to stop but I need to. It's taken control of my life. I have lost most of my friends barely leave my room etc. It's taken a toll on my grades. I need advice on how to stop,and move on with my life. Thanks in advance!
I am so sorry you have been abused in this manner. What is happening to you sometimes happens to young people like you who try to suppress the abuse that has happened or try to ignore it. You can't ignore what has happened, it needs to be dealt with properly with the help of professionals.
If I were to guess what happened I would say that your abuser was someone you know. Possibly a teacher, friend of the family or even a close relative. You may even feel that in some way you invited this abuse. This thinking has caused you not to tell anyone what has happened to you.
Lets deal with the abuse first. There is no way anyone can invites sexual abuse. You are a victim regardless of what your abuser may have told you. There is nothing you did that caused him or her to abuse you sexually. It just doesn't work that way.
As to your abuser. Anyone that forces someone, child, young adult or adult into a sexual situation they don't wish to be in is guilty of sexual abuse. Rape and statutory rape as well as child sexual abuse are the legal charges the person who did this to you face.
In order for you to properly deal with what has happened and get your life back. To gain the control over your life the "yoville" has taken, starts with telling someone what has happened to you. IF this person was an adult in a trusted position such as a teacher they have failed in their responsibility to keep you safe and deserve to be punished. Remember what I have said for it is true, you are the victim and they are the wrong doer.
I would suggest you start by telling your parents. There is no reason not to. Yes it is embarrassing what happened but again you are the victim, you deserve justice and your parents can help you get that and see to it that you get the proper professional help to deal with what has happened to you.
If you truly feel you cannot speak with your parents then there is some one else you can talk with. They are a National Organization called RAINN. RAINN stands for: Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network which operates a 24/7 hot line you can call to speak with a trained person who can help you find the proper help in you home town. There number is 1-800 656-Hope.
RAINN will help you find a trained therapist to talk with who will help you properly deal with what happened. The therapist will also help you tell your parents when and if you are ready to tell them. If you like and you should RAINN will help you contact the police to make a police report.
Regardless of who this person is; teacher, close family friend or relative and regardless of age as sexual abuse knows no age limits. They deserve to be reported to the police as they have broken the law. Worse the y have violated you in the worst possible manner and they deserve to be punished. Remember you are the victim. Nothing you could have said or done was cause for what happened to you.
Hai Everyone i want Mangalgiri handloom cotton saris with Affordable prices saris, so where can i buy saris in online shopping sites
As to affordability: What is affordable for one person may not be affordable for someone else. From that standpoint this is hard for someone to answer for someone they so not know.
As to where to find Cotton Saris: I typed "COTTON SARI" into a search engine and a host of sights were returned. The price ranges varied from site to site and from Sari to Sari.
I suggest you do the same and enter "Cotton Sari" into a search engine and then view the different sites. I fairly certain one of the sites will have saris' within your price range. Then it is just a matter of finding one you like.
Is it true that you can love at first sight?
This is somewhat of a personal question in that it is unique to the individual.
I'm married to a women I fell in love with the first time we met and we married 42 years ago today. So some people do fall in love at first sight. Some even marry. Some of those marriages do not work out. My wife and I are lucky that are marriage has stood the test of time.
Short answer to your question is: Yes, it is possible. So do not be afraid if it happens to you. Just be cautious as most times (as I have seen) it happens when you are on the rebound from a bad relationship.
is it because it is impractical when practicing swimming? Does a girls stomach distract the boys in the class or something? It is funny because boys are allowed to wear their swim trunks and nothing else
You have asked a very good question. For the most part you also answered you own question.
There are many different two-piece bathing suits. Some would be more acceptable than others. Just where would the school officials draw the line. When it comes to one piece bathing suits there is really not a lot of difference in styles. Most if not all would be found acceptable by your school. It is also easier for the school to describe the type of suit they want you to wear.
Is it fair that the boys are allowed to wear almost any type of bathing trunks they want and girls are restricted to somewhat unflattering one piece bathing suits. Probably not. Though many of the two-piece bathing suits a girl would choose are or would be very distracting.
Take heart in the fact that you are allowed to wear a bathing suit. Way back in the dark ages around the time of when your grandparents or maybe your great grandparents were in school. Classes were segregated by sex. Those schools that offered swimming did so in the nude since it was only same sex doing so at one time they saw no need for bathing suits. Many boys and girls found this very embarrassing.
My sister and her boyfriend have been smoking oxycodone 30s on tin foil?
Just want to know what harm it has on them. They called them percosets before but oxys today?
I can't tell you exactly what harm it will do to them as this is the first I have heard of anyone smoking Oxy. What I can tell you is that this is a narcotic medication and for that alone the abuse of it can do them great harm. It is also a very addictive drug the smoking of which I would guess is also addictive.
Percocet or Oxys (Oxycodone) as they are called on the street, is a class II drug. Meaning it is illegal to possess them without a valid prescription. To have them on your person and not in the prescription bottle they came in can result in a person being arrested for possession of Narcotics.
By whatever name you wish to call them this drug is very addictive and meant to be used to control severe pain. In fact recent federal laws have been passed to monitor the distribution by doctors of this and other drugs like it to insure doctors are not over prescribing or part of a drug distribution ring.
While no one likes a tattletale in this case the best thing you can do for your sister is to inform your parents of what you know. You just may save her life. From my view point it is better to have her mad at you then to attend her funeral.
Hi my Name Jasmine iam 22, years old.My period Usally comes on the 9th of every Month. But I came 1 Day Late. Which is the 10th. But befor I came on I been Sleepy lately and My tits have been a little sore. And been a little hungry. Is I'm pregnant?
No I do not think you are pregnant. If you have gotten your period then you should not be pregnant. Remember your period is the cleansing of your womb to make it ready to receive a fertilized egg. One this happens normally you will not be pregnant.
If you are having a normal period and not just spotting then the chances are you are not pregnant. If you would like confirmation of this. Once your period is done take a home pregnancy test. Follow the package directions. My thoughts are you will get a negative result.
Being one day late could just be the result of stress of many other factors.
I am married for 3.5 years now and I am just not happy with my husband. I am sure he has same feelings as I do. I really dont know were the problem is. Is it my mental stability or its our understanding issues.
Initially when we fought, the conclusion was that i have some mental disorder and i am reacting for small issues. But this is going on for ever. Every 4th or 5th day we fought, the situation is sooo bad that we have started hitting each other. We physically abuse each other. We dont want to do this to each other but we get out of control when we are upset or mad about anything. Most of the times the fight gets started because of me, i lose temper for very very small issues (according to my husband, these are small issues and i should not be reacting). I have lot of expectations from my partner which i dont see him taking care of. He is not a responsible person to take care of small things in our house, either if getting furniture, setting up home, family planning, going for vacation, financial planning etc.
I am 32 years of age & Female
The first thing that needs to be addressed is the physical fighting. Fighting should never reach the point of physical abuse. Once it does it just continues to escalate. At some point it will become a police matter.
Many states have domestic abuse laws which call for the police to separate the combatants. This means one of you will be going to jail for the evening or possible the weekend while waiting to see a judge. Which one of you will go to jail? A friend of mine who is a cop tells me he usually picks the one least injured as the aggressor and they go to jail.
Do you have a mental illness? I doubt it. You do seem to have a temper and that could be helped with talk therapy with a qualified therapist. At the very least it would help reduce the physical fighting.
The fact that you are not happy with your husband and he is not happy with you says that this may be the time for a time out from your marriage. One of you needs to move out and a legal separation document be prepared by a lawyer, each of you having your own lawyer, and filed with the courts. This is a prelude to a divorce and spells out each others rights and many other things should you decide to end your marriage. The good part is it is not final, for at least 12 months, as a divorce is and can be negated with a stroke of a pen.
During the timeout you and your husband can attend marriage counseling, both together and individually. You can if you wish start dating each other again, without marital relations as this starts the clock on the legal separation all over again. You can if you wish start dating other people just make sure it is stated in the separation papers.
From what you have written you two are headed to places you don't want to go. It is only a matter of time before a neighbor calls the police or one of you is hurt to the point you need a doctors care and the police are called. Then one of you has an arrest record for domestic violence. Neither of you need this.
I would not like to read or hear on the news of a couple fighting to the point that one of them had to be hospitalized. For that reason I think it is best that you both take a timeout from your marriage. Even if it means one of you temporarily moves back in with their parents while they make other living arrangements.
See a lawyer and discuss how to go about a legal separation and what is needed to have your husband leave your home if you wish to remain in your home.
15 year old female, DAILY headache and breathing hardly for a couple of seconds, and sometimes develops a very very hard headache for only a couple of minutes. Yesterday, she vomited before sleeping and today she's vomiting EVERYTHING she eats...
Any ideas?
High five everyone like always.
-Thank You.
This could be the signs of some very serious problems. I'm not a doctor none of us are. The signs you write about indicate problems which can be life threatening. I urge her to seek medical help immediately. This would include calling 911 for emergency medical help by EMTs or paramedics.
my boyfriend and i try to have sex, but the thing is he thinks im not virgin, the thing is it hurt so much but i didnt blooded i need someone to tell me if i still virgin?
If you are talking about the fact that when you boyfriend first penetrated your vagina, if he did in deed fully penetrate you and you hymen didn't bleed when broken? You were a virgin prior to him penetrating you with his penis and may still be if he did not penetrate you.
Todays definition of virgin is: Anyone who has not had penis to vagina sexual intercourse. Meaning for you that a boys penis has not penetrated your vagina. Fingering or using a sex toy does not have anything to do with your virginity.
Now you say it "hurt so much." Three things are possible.
1. The boy has not successfully penetrated your vagina and by definition you are still a virgin.
2. Your boyfriend did not penetrate you far enough to break you hymen and this is the reason you did not bleed. Are you still a virgin? Not by definition if any part of his penis did actual penetrate your vagina, then you are no longer a virgin.
3. Your Hymen could have broken some time ago from many differed factors, Anything from bike riding to gymnastics to horse back riding could have dislodge you hymen.
The dark ages definition of virginity was blood on the sheets after the first sexual intercourse. We are more enlightened today and realize that a young girl can lose her Hymen in many different way. Therefore the current definition is the rule today.
That fact that you found sex or the attempt at sex so painful tells me you are probably a young teenager. You probably don't want to here this but these are the facts.
Your first intercourse does not have to be as painful as you experienced or failed to have. You experienced this because even though you may be developing the outward appearance of a women. Your body, meaning your vagina and your breasts too, are still developing and maturing.
Your body is still not ready for sex. You are still in the early stages of puberty and the hormones needed by the muscles of your vagina to stretch and accept a penis have not been developed yet.
Remember what comes out of your vagina. Your vagina is capable of stretching to bring a baby into this world so it is more than capable to stretch to allow a penis in to it to make that baby, when your body has matured to that point. Yes if you are having periods you could get pregnant. Still your body has not yet matured enough to have sex.
One other thing. Boys going through puberty are prewired to have sex. It is their hormones, hence the word horny. They will do anything to have sex. Their definition of love and yours is different. To them love and lust are the same. Many a boy will tell a girl; "If you love me you will have sex with me."
Sex is not how you prove your love for someone, it is the result of a loving relationship. Do not be tricked into having sex before your ready just to prove you love someone. If you don't believe me ask your dad. We all used this line on our girlfriends. Adam probably used it on Eve that's how old that line is.
Hi this may be a little long winded but thanks to anyone who reads this.
I am 23 and female, I have been friends with my friend lets call her T for 10 years, we were very close when we were younger and spent all of our time together, as we got a bit older she moved schools and we grew apart a little but we used to meet up and get drunk, anyways we used to kiss whilst drunk but we still dated boys.
I got in a bad relationship for a while and did not really see her, when we were 19 we ended up having a threesome with a guy we met in a club, and she was not interested in the guy she mostly wanted me.
Now years later we both have a child each, she is engaged and I am in a committed relationship, when we go out she still flirts, ages ago she told me she loved me when drunk. Last week we went out and she told me she was attracted to me, she was trying to hug me alot and touch my face then when I confronted her about this she said it was in my head and was weird.
I am just so confused about whether she is straight or not and what her behavior means, has anyone else been in this situation and could you shed any light on it?
Thanks :)
You say she is engaged and has a child. You also say when she is drunk she says she loves you. While alcohol does tend to lower ones inhibitions the facts as you have presented them do not truly point to her being a lesbian. She may be bi or bi-curious.
It is also possible that she is a lesbian and trying to pass in the straight world or in other words deny her true sexuality. It is really hard for me or any of us to say for sure since we do not know her. To make a definitive call based on the limited information you have supplied would be wrong.
I do get the feeling that you are uncomfortable with the thought that she is sexually attracted to you. There are two ways to handle this:
1. Do not get in a situation where she can explore her sexual attraction to you. Such as the three-way you once had with her.
2. You could and I do suggest that you have a frank and open discussion with her about the feelings she is giving off to you.
You can love someone and not have sexual feeling towards them or want to have sex with them. I'm sure in your own way, being friends for as long as you have, you have feeling of love for her that are more like ones you would have for a sister or cousin.
Should it turn out that she is a lesbian or bi it should not change your relationship with her. She is the same person you have always been friends with. Just maybe a little more open about her sexuality then before. The only thing that needs to be said is that you need to tell her your feelings for her are not sexual. That if she wants to continue the friendship that she should not continue to hit on you.
If I had to come down on one side of this issue or the other. My bet is that your friend is bi. I do not think a true lesbian could commit to a relationship with a male where she would have to have sex with him.