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i dont know if i am virgin or not and i need someone to tell me


Question Posted Wednesday July 10 2013, 6:08 pm

my boyfriend and i try to have sex, but the thing is he thinks im not virgin, the thing is it hurt so much but i didnt blooded i need someone to tell me if i still virgin?

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Additional info, added Wednesday July 10 2013, 6:16 pm:
and i dont see something different in my vagina like i dont even know :-( if i still a virgin .

Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Virginity?


Dragonflymagic answered Thursday July 11 2013, 8:11 pm:
What you have said, tells me that not only is your boyfriend uneducated about sex and all the different variables and things to learn to be really knowledgable but you also do not have a clue.
only 12 states are required to haveSex ed classes and those are not required to be accurate. So it falls to you to educate yourself on more than just this one issue. (If your boyfriend is too prideful to admit he knows next to nothing or unwilling to go watch the youtube site together with you that i am going to give you, then he isn't worth your time. Find another guy.)
Once you have intercourse, the part when his penis enters your vagina, you are no longer a virgin. Females have hymens which stretch like rubber bands so they don't always tear and bleed a few drops. Its an old misconception started by men long ago in times of when it was important to have a female who was virgin so that there weren't other children who might come forward and fight his own children for rights to have the wealth and property passed on to them.
What many people don't know is that the hymen stretchs like rubberbands and so in some women there may be no bleeding at all or in some, a little tear of skin that produces a couple drops of blood, never much. There is no way, no test at all to know if a woman is a virgin or not. Why, because many adult women who are out of a relationship for a long time before they find a guy, will discover that when they were not having any sex, their hymen shrunk smaller again as it was when their were teens.
Your boyfriend needs to be educated. Hopefully he isn't the type to spread around stories that you are a slut.
There is a YOU TUBE channel called Sex plus by Laci Green she has 159 3-4 min very informative videos. She is close to being a peer, college age now but started as a teen, and very funny and entertaining. As a much older adult, I couldn't do any better than her in teaching on so many sexual topics. Its amazing what self education can produce. Please start off by watching this one video with your boyfriend and going on to view the others too.

[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)

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lightoftruth answered Thursday July 11 2013, 4:10 pm:
A virgin is someone who has never had sexual intercourse.

If you guys had sex, you're not a virgin.
Your vagina is not supposed to look any different. You don't always bleed when you first have sex.

You should probably educate yourself about things like this.

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adviceman49 answered Thursday July 11 2013, 10:45 am:
If you are talking about the fact that when you boyfriend first penetrated your vagina, if he did in deed fully penetrate you and you hymen didn't bleed when broken? You were a virgin prior to him penetrating you with his penis and may still be if he did not penetrate you.

Todays definition of virgin is: Anyone who has not had penis to vagina sexual intercourse. Meaning for you that a boys penis has not penetrated your vagina. Fingering or using a sex toy does not have anything to do with your virginity.

Now you say it "hurt so much." Three things are possible.

1. The boy has not successfully penetrated your vagina and by definition you are still a virgin.

2. Your boyfriend did not penetrate you far enough to break you hymen and this is the reason you did not bleed. Are you still a virgin? Not by definition if any part of his penis did actual penetrate your vagina, then you are no longer a virgin.

3. Your Hymen could have broken some time ago from many differed factors, Anything from bike riding to gymnastics to horse back riding could have dislodge you hymen.

The dark ages definition of virginity was blood on the sheets after the first sexual intercourse. We are more enlightened today and realize that a young girl can lose her Hymen in many different way. Therefore the current definition is the rule today.

That fact that you found sex or the attempt at sex so painful tells me you are probably a young teenager. You probably don't want to here this but these are the facts.

Your first intercourse does not have to be as painful as you experienced or failed to have. You experienced this because even though you may be developing the outward appearance of a women. Your body, meaning your vagina and your breasts too, are still developing and maturing.

Your body is still not ready for sex. You are still in the early stages of puberty and the hormones needed by the muscles of your vagina to stretch and accept a penis have not been developed yet.

Remember what comes out of your vagina. Your vagina is capable of stretching to bring a baby into this world so it is more than capable to stretch to allow a penis in to it to make that baby, when your body has matured to that point. Yes if you are having periods you could get pregnant. Still your body has not yet matured enough to have sex.

One other thing. Boys going through puberty are prewired to have sex. It is their hormones, hence the word horny. They will do anything to have sex. Their definition of love and yours is different. To them love and lust are the same. Many a boy will tell a girl; "If you love me you will have sex with me."

Sex is not how you prove your love for someone, it is the result of a loving relationship. Do not be tricked into having sex before your ready just to prove you love someone. If you don't believe me ask your dad. We all used this line on our girlfriends. Adam probably used it on Eve that's how old that line is.

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