Gender:
MaleMember Since:
June 18, 2009Answers:
8136Last Update:
May 26, 2019Visitors:
140157Favorite Columnists
karenR
AyyItsKristen
Erinn_the_bamf
Xui
storageanddisposal
lvr
Smartone
bewise
GradingCurve
anonymous99
HildaJrCarter
more...
Main Categories:
General Sex Questions
Abusive Relationships
Cooking
View All
about
My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
why a 14 years child lie and what to do
All children lie, why this is I'm really not sure. Mostly I believe it is the fear of getting into trouble. How you handle the lying is really up to you.
How I handled my child's lying is this way. Of course he was punished in what I thought was appropriately for what he lied about. As the saying goes let the punishment fit the crime. After you talk to your child about the following advice if the lying continues then the punishment escalates until the child gets the message.
Now some children are habitual liars; hope this is not the problem with your son for if it is there is another problem. One that requires professional help do find out and correct. That help would be in the form of a psychologist and talk therapy. Hopefully this is not the problem with your child.
So you have caught your child lying. First administer the proper punishment; grounding, extra chores around the house, extra school work if the lie involves school work. Do not back down on the punishment see it threw no matter how hard it may be on you. The child must learn that just like society exacts punishment when laws are broken; mom and dad exact punishment when house rules are broken and they are lied too.
Then sit down and explain to your child how it is better to tell the truth rather than lie. One thing about the truth is you never have to write it down for it is easy to remember. Lies have to be written down because they are hard to remember and while he or she will not remember what he lied about; the person he or she lied to will always remember what was said and what the lie was. This is how they will get caught.
You continue to tell them that telling the truth will not always mean they will not get punished for what ever happened or what they were thinking about lying about. What will happen is the punishment will be far less severe than if they lie and the lie is discovered.
You may have to pound this into your child over several conversations. Just remember a 14 year old teenager has many things happening to them. Puberty is in play and those hormones may just play a part in the lying if this is something new to the behavior of your child.
It is hard for us as adults to remember what it was like to go through puberty. Puberty can hit a young teenager extremely hard causing the many problems that as adults we see as behavioral problems. They are really frustrations with things they do not know how to deal with. In fact these frustrations can cause what doctors now call "Teenage Depression" caused by Hormone imbalance as the body compensates for the new hormones.
If this seems to be the problem take you child to the doctor and have him or her screened for depression. This is not a true mental illness as it is caused by a medical condition easily rectified with a pill for a few years. During this time it is also advisable to have the child see a therapist. This is someone they can talk to that they would never talk to their parents about. Free in the knowledge that what they talk with the therapist about stays with the therapist.
Hello Advicenators: I shop and spend a lot of Money at Menard's. It is a big box home improvement store. It is or was my favorite store. They have more of my monthly income than a food store. I try to keep busy and have many projects to keep my mind busy, so to speak. I am on Social Security Disability. I am 58 years old and on a fixed income. About a month ago (since that is the day I last visited) I was at Menard's at 6:30 when they opened. The floor scrubber guy was following me around and came within inches of hitting me. I have a psychiatric condition due to my disability. I have not been back to Menard's since for fear. I contacted the manager. He sent me two dog toys and apologized. I just feel terrible. This store really has me scared. Do I have any legal recourse here for some sort of compensation? Respectfully, Dzadzy
I'm sorry you had a bad experience at what was your favorite store. You should not let something like this keep you from enjoying your hobbies. As the saying goes if you fall of a horse you must get right back on or you never will.
As for legal recourse you do not have any. You can of course check with an attorney. People have sued for less and been compensated mostly for what is considered nuisance amounts any were from $1,000 to $10,000 dollars depending on what the insurance company feels it will cost them to take the suit to court.
In general though the only person that gets rich is the attorney as these types of actions are not the ones they take on where they take a portion of what they win for you; depending on state law that can be as much as 40% to 50%. Instead they bill you by the hour and you pay for every minute of their time. You can tell how good they feel the case you have based on what terms they will take the case on under.
My advice is it will cost you more than you can win to sue them. Talk to your therapist about what happened and go back to the store later in the day when they will not be cleaning the floors.
Female/27
I just found out some terrible news. My sister just had a miscarriage. This sucks! There aren't words bad enough to express how much this sucks! I didn't even know she was pregnant and apparently she and her husband were planning on telling everyone Thanksgiving.
I feel sooooooo bad. Since my sister's the first born, I feel like she's always been the golden child while I'm the family f
I'm sorry that your sister had age miscarriage. While it is hard to hear and even harder to justify; there are times that a miscarriage is better than some of the alternatives. It is generally accepted that a miscarriage happens because there is something wrong with the embryo and to carry the embryo to term is wrong as it will be horribly malformed and may not live outside the womb. So the body rejects it. IT is not your sisters’ fault or her husbands and it is not as your grandmother might say Gods punishment for something she may have done wrong. Science says otherwise.
If she miscarried and she did so in a hospital then pathology was done; standard procedure for all human tissue coming from an OR. If you really want to know why the miscarriage happened the pathologist might have the reason. My advice is to stay ignorant of the science as it will not help. It happened, the next step is for your sister is to see her GYN and have a complete physical. Wait until the doctors says okay to try again and then do so. She needs to keep her wait up and to eat properly, stop smoking if she is a smoker and no coffee or tea while pregnant.
As for what you can do. You need to be her best support. You could head of grandma and her vile comments before she has a chance to say anything to your sister. In this instance it is okay to make whatever type threat needed to protect your sister. As you put you can't be held in any less esteem by her than you already are so if a threat is needed to keep grandma in line by all means use an appropriate one, just not one that would be of physical harm to her.
Be there to supportive of your parents too. As you will find out when you have children of your own; when your child or children hurt you hurt. You want to take the pain away even if it means being in pain yourself. This is parenting.
Being supportive means helping them get past this, your sister included. It could mean maybe a girls say out somewhere like a day spa for the three of you. Maybe a shopping trip for three with a nice lunch thrown in, anything that helps them take their mind of this and you two. You would be surprised how doing some normal things help ease the pain. The object is to get them out of the house where they sit around feeling sorry for themselves and you too.
You might recommend to your sister and brother in-law to take a vacation if affordable. A nice change of scenery is also helpful. It might be nice to do so when the doctor says it is okay to start trying to have a baby. A nice relaxing vacation may just be the key to a quick conception.
I am a lesbian and my gf I bi. She wanted to have a threesome with a guy I decided to fulfil her fantasy. I seen a guy I approached him got his number we all hung out got comfortable we end up eventually doing the threesome now a few weeks later my gf text me asking for his number she said its nothing I just need to ask him a question and I said what do you possibly have to ask him. I am entitled to know why correct? And she wants him again thats why she is contacting him correct?
No you are not entitled to know why. She is your girlfriend not your property. You should have known or considered the fact when she asked for a threesome that given the fact that she is bi that she might enjoy a physical relationship with him afterwards. That is the chance you took when you agreed to the threesome.
I would have liked to have known your ages for if you are truly a lesbian I cannot see you going anywhere near a real penis or allowing one to come in contact or even touching one. I'm not saying your not a lesbian I'm just saying by vertue of this three some I have my doubts as to how strong your lesbianism really is.
If you allowed him to touch you, make love to you anyway. Whether this included intercourse or not. You may want to re-examine your sexuality.
Should you be a teenager and you decided you were a lesbian when puberty struck, then I urge you to re-examine your sexuality. You just do not wake up one day and decide you are gay. You should have had these feeling and none something long before you became sexually aware. I am available in private email if you would like to write and explore this further.
how i convience to my girlfriend doing sex with me..??
I'm going to tell it to you straight so pay attention!!!
You cannot and should not even try to convince anyone to have sex with you. TO do so is seual harrasment. Once someone tells you no then the answer is NO and you must stop asking or in anyway trying to convince that person to have sex with you or do anything sexual with you. That includes Petting, Oral Sex, Handjobs or Fingering. If you do continue you are committing SEXUAL HARASSMENT A FELONY IN MOST STATES.
Sexual Harrassment is on the very top of the watch list in all states followed by Bullying. If you were to be reported to the police, which we would recommend if she was to write to us. You would be prosecuted, very possible in adult court. Meaning you could get jail time. This is how seriously this is taken.
Where I live two 16 year old boys were just sent to prison for 10 years for sexual harassment and rape. They will do 5 years in Juvenile detention and 6 years in state prison. They were charged with harassment and when she finally gave in they were charged with rape for it was forced consent. Read the papers this is happeing in every state.
YOU DO NOT FORCE OR TRY TO CONVINCE SOMEONE TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU. The courts are dealing out harsh punishments to those that are prosecuted because the public in general are tired of teenagers thinking they can get away with this type of thing that there age will protect them. It won't, times have changed. If you are prosecuted and fortunate enough to go to juvenile court then besides what ever punishment juvenile court hands down you will be expelled from school. All this plus your parents will incur thousands of dollars in legal fees.
Is all of this worth it for something you can take care of with the same satisfaction in the privacy of your bedroom. If your girlfriend is unwilling then masturbate. The relief you get is the same, and it is safer for both of you. When she is ready she will let you know. I'm positive she knows what you want and when she is ready she will let you know, no harassment is needed.
My grandparents are extremely important to me and I don't use to be like that. I used to feel that I might die if anything happened to them however lately I started to feel disgust(not exactly but dont noe wat else) and can't feel anything when they are sick. Once my grandfather had a heart attack and all I could think of was "I should be worried". I have problems with my father who repeatedly make troubles bcause he kept thinking badly of my grandparents ( they were my mother's parents).I also use to hate my father but recently can't bring myself to. Everything simply went opposite. Deep down I knew it was because I unconsciousLy chose it this way as a defensive mechanism. What I want to know is, how I can change my mindset again? I KNOW I love my grandparents and don't want to be that unfilial child that can't feel anything even when they die.I know it sounds rlly ironic but everything I mentioned is true
What is happening to you is a defence mechanism one you have unconsciously built to deal with most likely some type of abuse; physical or mental. It is a close cousin, so to speak, of building an alter personality to deal with things you do not want to deal with. It is a total defense mechanism.
To fix this and get back to who you really are takes the help of a professional such as a psychologist and talk therapy to find the root cause of why you built this wall. Everything that you say to the therapist is confidential as is never repeated to anyone.
To start the process you need to see your family doctor as the therapist is going to want you to have a complete physical. This is to rule out any organic reason for why you feel this way. As a teenager hormones of puberty can be playing a part and your family doctor can help with that. When you see your doctor ask to be screened for depression. Why? The way you feel is usually partly due to depression. If you are showing signs of depression it would not be unusual for a young teenager. They even have a name for it now, they call it teenage depression and once again it is partly caused by the hormones of puberty something your doctor can help with.
Should your family doctor give you any medication be very compliant with the medication and take it at the same time every day. Medication for hormone imbalance works best if taken at the same time each day. Once any organic problems are found and treated you and your therapist can work together, much better, to find what triggered this change in you. You may be surprised when you realise what the true trigger may be. You think you know and you maybe correct. Then again it could be something altogether different. I was surprised while discussing something with my therapist a light bulb literally went off in my head and a door opened to something I locked away in my adolescence. Turns out it had been the cause of my problem for many years.
F/18. You see I'm sharing an apartment with my best friend from six years (middle and high school) and its only been three months and a few weeks but I feel... strange. Its like I'm slowly getting to know her for real. At the beginning of the semester she dyed the tips of her hair blonde (I mean like yellow-yellow and not just tips, practically the whole half of her hair). She's the type of girl who's always wanting to do things right and is proper when needed to be. The thought recently occurred to me... that maybe... she's been trying to... I don't even know how to put it. It seems like she often tries to impress with her shorts and her dyed hair and her supposedly innocent acts where guys have flirted with her but she didn't notice. Sometimes I feel kind of bad and self-conscious when I'm around her and we're accompanied by people, because compared to me:
I'm thin and flat-chested, she has more body;
I'm shy and don't talk much or have a flirty/witty attitude of any sort, she talks much more than me and has a reachable personality;
She is way smarter than me.
She is younger than me by a few months yet she drives and I haven't gotten my driver's licence yet (I actually haven't had time to get something other than my Learner's Permit)
She has also done a few things I'm not very fond of. She takes a lot of the space on the cabinets in the kitchen and the fridge (we're two and the place is not that small so there should be enough space for both... yet there isn't); she's ditched me on various occassions for different things and different excuses; she's always interested in many guys and is quick to get all the attention.
I guess I just want to be mre upright and have more personality but I'm torn in two here: Who's really wrong? Me? Because of my image complex and posible feelings of jealousy towards her life and how she is able to do things I can't.
Or her? Because of the occasions in which she has not supported me/been there for me/ ditched me/comments on how I'm a 'twig' or 'boney' with a playful laugh that actually bothers the smithers out of me(yes I do not know if that Word even exists but in my mind it does)/shot down my dreams (she always has a "fact" or an "opinion" about my ideas or my style of dressing or... you get the idea).
I already said to myself that next semester I would start a new me and try to be more outspoken, confident, etc. I actually feel bad about
You really do not get to know someone until you live with them. To me that is the real issue here, nt who is right and who is wrong. There is enough wrong to go around for both of you.
She is wrong for being insensitive and for taking more space than is her to have. I assume you are sharing expenses equally which means to the best of your ability the apartment space should be shared equally, kitchen, bathroom and bedroom if you share that as well including closets. The living room is a common area though space for individual items should be shared equally.
I will assume that this is the first time either of you have lived totally on your own without some type of adult supervision. This take getting use to. If you lived in a dorm you would have a dorm resident advisor to help over these hurdles. To resolve these issues and others what you need to do is what they would have you do in the dorm, have a roommate meeting each week. This would also be the day or evening you clean the common areas.
In this meeting you discuss any problems of the previous week and hopefully resolve them. You divide up the household daily chores for the week as well as who will do what of the weekly cleaning that day. These chores would be dusting and vacuuming the living room and any other common areas, cleaning the bathroom and kitchen. Once a month the windows and blinds need to be cleaned and the drapes need to be vacuumed. Make sure to dust over the top of the door frame for when mom or dad come to visit no matter how clean the apartment looks the first place we will look is the tops of door frames by running our fingers across them.
Fact of the matter is the apartment can be a mess, messy is not dirty. If I walk into my sons apartment and it's messy I don't have a problem with that. If I find dusty door frames, dirty dishes in the sink or a bathroom that hasn't seen a toilet brush; then we are going to have a discussion. Fortunately for him he has been to basic training in the Army and knows how to keep a drill Sergeant, me, happy.
As for the other problems part of them is as you feel a bit of jealousy or maybe envy might be a better word. You have a bad self image. There is nothing wrong with being thin and flat chested. I know a lot of men who like flat chested women' myself among them. My wife was a large A or small B when we married. Childbirth caused her to become a large B or small C all depending on the cut of the bra.
The other issues need to be discussed with her as she is wrong to treat you this way. After all you have been friends for a long time and you are roommates as well. She has no reason to insult you , hurt you or demean you in anyway. It is just possible with her new found freedom she is not truly aware she is doing so. Talk to her and make her aware.
As for your self image problem. Most colleges offer free counseling for students through the psychology department. I would suggest if your school offers this, ask at the student medical center, that you make an appointment. I can tell from your writing that inside you are a beautiful person. So you're skinny and flat chested, big deal. Let your inner beauty come through. Make the best of what you have by dressing appropriately. Get a hairstyle that highlights your face. Get makeup tips from the cosmetologist at the makeup counter at a good department store. Wear a pad bra if you must though I don't think you should or you need one.
If you are really are concerned by being flat chested consult a BOARD CERTIFIED PLASTIC SURGEON. in most states any doctor who did a rotation in Plastics can call him or herself a plastic surgeon. A Board Certified Plastic Surgeon is someone who has done a Fellowship in Plastics and past all the requirements to be certified by the College of Surgeons. If you do elect to enhance your breasts you don't want the telltale circles that would be seen in low cut dress or bathing suits. You want the device placed under the muscle not on top as many are done. My wife had this done after a mastectomy and I cannot tell her real one from the rebuilt one neither can any of her doctors. Thats how good this type of surgery is. It was also about $10K. Something to think about but not a necessity.
Does anyone know what i can make at home to get me off? I want to try anything new other than my hand.
It would help to know if you're male or female. Since you left that out the following is for both.
I think you will find your hand is truly the best way to masturbate though there are some ways to enhance what your hand is doing.
Female: Clitoral stimulation while inserting a slightly unripe Banana or appropriately sized Cucumber in your vagina will give you more pleasure. In the bath if you have a hand held shower head that can be set on pulse; this held under your vagina and moved back and forth towards you anus is also very pleasant for some. An electric toothbrush holding the base on your clitoris or at the lips of your vagina should have you seeing stars as you climax.
You only have two hands and neglecting your nipples while masturbating would be a real shame as they are a source of real pleasure. This is going to sound weird but try it. Since you are probably too young to buy nipple clamps make your own with clothes pins. All you need to do is lighten the tension on the spring or replace the spring with a lighter tensioned spring. All you want the clothespin to do is pinch your nipples as if you were doing it yourself. It should not be painful for you unless of course you are in to pain.
Males: The shower thing works well for you as well. As your penis gets sensitive point the pulsing towards the head of your penis as well while you masturbate. If you want to use an electric toothbrush start by holding it under the base of your scrotum and masturbate. Once again as your penis becomes more sensitive move the toothbrush between your scrotum and the head of your penis. You should see fireworks as you climax and I suggest you be relaaxing in bed when you do this so as not to collapse on the floor.
I really want to have sex with my boyfriend and at dsame tym he wants to finger and suck me....but I hvnt been sucked and fingered before.... am just scared cox he might say I get wet easily and maybe when he sucks me he might not like the taste of my Varginia.wat f he ends up sucking me and doesn't like the way my pussy tastes or feels
Dragonflymagic is correct. We are a humane animals. Unlike animals we don't go around sniffing at each others privates. Though when we are attracted to someone we give off a scent. If the person we are attract to likes the scent you are giving off they will be attracted to you. The funny thing about this scent is initially you won't smell it, but the person you are attracted to will though it has no real smell to it. When and if things get to the point of being down and dirty you will both be able to inhale the scent of sex as it escapes through your sweat glands on onto your close and the sheets if things progress that far.
Oral sex is an acquired taste. If you are healthy and bath regularly he should not have a problem with your taste or scent. The same with you giving him oral sex. His semen is all protein and could be a bit salty. It could also taste a bit strong if he has had say a meal with a great deal of spices. Other than that it should not have much of a taste.
My advice is to allow him to go as far as you are comfortable with. Just remember your pants and panties are your best defense against getting pregnant. Once they come off it is just a short jump to intercourse easily made in the throes of sexual passion.
I'm 13 to, attempted suicide 3 times and hit 6 veins due to self-harming. I tried everything to know what to kill myself with. Now I don't self-harm because I'm to scared of my Mum seeing it, I forgot how it felt like to live. Now I ask God/Creator why he made joy when there was so much hate. I've been asking him the same question for over a year, he has never once replied. I've asked him for help, for a grave, for a new beginning, I have none of that. If you ask God to kill you he won't listen, he never will...
We are not here to help you commit suicide, we are here to help you live and enjoy life. It is obvious that you are troubled but you only refer to hate as what is troubling you. Unfortunately there is a lot of hate in this world though the hate is not your fault or is it specifically aimed at any one person especially not you.
There is help for what is bothering you and hopefully we and I are the answers you have been looking for. There are doctors and therapists that can help you. When it comes to mental health you sometimes have to try several different doctors and therapists until you find the ones you are comfortable with; who understand you and you understand them IF you are not in therapy and not seeing a doctor to receive medication that can help you I urge you to get this type of help even if you have been in therapy before and not been successful.
I am going to place below some links to websites with hotlines that are available to help you. They are free and totally confidential. They operate 24/7 365 days a year. Pleaser call them and talk to them about what is really troubling you. Let them help you.
http://www.kidshelpphone.ca/Teens/Home.aspx Kids help Phone for ages 20 and under 1-800-668-6868
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ 1-800-273-8256. National Suicide Help Line
https://rainn.org/ 1-800-656-HOPE. I am including RAINN in the event you are a victim of Rape, Incest, or Abuse. RAINN is a National Network for victims of these types of incidents and they can and will help you. You do not have to suffer any of this type of abuse. IF you are a victim of Rape, Incest or Abuse please call them for help.
Suicide is not a solution, it is the wrong answer to your problem. There are people that love you and will miss you. We want to help you, I want to help you. You can contact me in a private message if you wish to give me more information as to what is bothering you this much. No one but you, me and the webmaster, who is very trustworthy will see what you write.
if im horny and a girl what do i do about it?
Since you did not supply you age I will assume you are a teenage girl between 14 and 18 years of age. If so sexual intercourse is not the answer to you being horny. The reason for feeling this way is the hormones of puberty.
The best and safest way to deal with this is by masturbating also called playing with yourself. Now mom, when she had "THE TALK WITH YOU," may have said this was something that was bad or dirty and not to do this. This is not true and very much hypocritical of parents who say this to their children. Why? Well for one thing masturbation or mutual masturbation is part of foreplay prior to intercourse and very likely something your parents partake in when they have sex. According to a research survey 85% of us masturbate including married adults.
As I said this is a safe and pleasant way to release the sexual tension you are feeling. As far as I know, no young lady has ever gotten pregnant from masturbating. Also contrary to what you may have been told none of the recognized religions consider it a sin, though most will not condone it. Mainly because it is pleasurable and most adults feel it will lead to wanting to have intercourse. It does not have to, it is entirely up to you; your morals and your will power to hold off until you’re older and mature enough to have sex. I generally recommend for both sexes to hold off until their 18th birthday when by law they are old enough to have a sex life regardless of whether they live at home or not as they are adults and legally entitled to all pleasures of an adult.
As to how and where to masturbate I recommend as to where the following: Either in the privacy of your bedroom with the door closed and locked so you are not intruded upon or in the bathroom while bathing or showering.
As to how to masturbate is something you will have to self-explore. When it comes to sexually exciting women there are women that are excited through clitoral stimulation, vaginal stimulation or both.
You can go on the web and use a search engine type in "Female Masturbation Techniques." You will get a host of returns to look at. Being a male and being married for 43 years I know how to stimulate my wife. As to how to stimulate you is something you need to find out by yourself. Yes I am old enough to be your grandfather and after raising my own family I now find that it is important to be blunt and straight forward when it comes to questions like yours.
You only have one virginity to give to someone; don't give it to a high school sweetheart who does not know the difference between love and lust. To teenage boys love and lust are the same. “I am not saying you should wait until you find the man you wish to marry as that to would be hypocritical. What I am saying is to wait for someone who is mature enough to understand the gift you are giving him and to make the first time as pleasurable for you as he can.
Im 16/f. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and I'm confident that I love him. I need to know the details of sex. What does it feel like? Should it be prepared or spontaneous? I need to know everything teachers don't tell you in sex ed
I'm old enough to be your grandfather. As such I will tell you the way it is not how your parents will tell you, or your teachers and possibly not even how your own grandfather would tell you. Why? Simple, the more knowledge you have the better decisions you can make and this is one of the biggest decisions you can make.
Lets start with protection. At age 16 under a federal law, called HIPPA, you have the right to medical confidentiality over your reproductive system. These means you and not your parents have the only say as to how your reproductive system is treated by a doctor. It means when having a female exam only you, the doctor and the nurse can be in the exam room. Mom must wait outside. The reason is so you can speak to the doctor in confidence about any problem or concern you may have. This includes asking for birth control medication. Being 16 the only reason not to prescribe is if there is a medical reason not too. Parental permission is not required.
This law was passed so that young people, girls and boys would seek medical help or advice they may not want to ask parents about. Under this law you do not need parental permission to see a doctor. You can see any doctor you wish or seek treatment at any of the free clinics.
So if you are considering starting a sex life the first thing you need to do is to see a doctor and get birth control medication. It is the responcible thing to do. Next is to get condoms and have your boyfriend practice properly putting them on. You can use a banana or cucumber for this.
A condon only works if properly worn. Together they provide 99.99% protection against pregnacy. Start now on insisting your partner use a condom even if he is a virgin as well. The condom protects against most STD's and the HIV/AIDS virus. Never have sex with anyone who refuses to wear a condom. Those who refuse are only out for themselves and not looking out for you. That should tell you they lust only for you and not in love with you.
We have covered the protection. Next we need to talk about waiting. This boy is most likely not the boy you will marry. He is for the most part a high school romance who may be in love with you but also lusts for you. To a teenage male love and lust are the same.
In 2 or 3 years most likely you two will go your seperate ways to college or he may or you may join the military. This happens in almost every high school romance they breakup and go their seperate ways at graduation. When this happens if you have had sex with him you have given him the most precious posesion a women has; your virginity. There is more to sex than intecourse and ther is no chance of an unwanted pregnacy with if there is no intercourse.
Oral sex, fingering and handobs will bring about a climax for both of you which is the object of sex; to reach a climax. Oral sex, fingering and hand jobs are used as foreplay to excite your partners before intercourse. What I'm suggesting is you bring the foreplay to conclusion with a climax rather then intercourse, The sexual tension you both have will be relieved and your virginity remains intact to give to a man that may possibly be the man to whom you wed.
As for intercourse itself that is someting that is both a learned experience and something we all know the basics of as they are in grown so to speak. He is going to get an erection and push his penis into your vagina. Yes it will hurt the first few times. Mostly because the muscles of your vagina are still locked and will not want to expand to accept him. The hurt is suppose to stop you. As you get older and closer to the end of puberty the last of the hormones are released which will unlock those muscles and the hurt will be far less. Mostly from the tearing of your Hymen if it is still intact.
When your ready to have intercourse, now or in the future make sure it is someplace you will be comfortable, secure and will not be disturbed. The back seat of his car where grandma probably lost hers is not the right place.
As for the rest of sex it is a learned experiece done through communication with our partner telling him what you like and where and how you like to be touched. He needs to tell you the same.
My best advice though is to hold off on having intercourse. If you have gone through the heavy petting stage then the next stage is to move to mutual masturbation which is what I discribed above. Fingering, oral sex and hand jobs.Yes get on birth control ust in case as at this stage it is easy to go to far.
Good luck
My uncle is a pot head going through divorce and ruining my cousins lives. And on top of that, my brothers girlfriend is seven months pregnant. Honestly, my parents are sick of it and I don't know what to do any more. Please give advice. My family is falling apart as we pass each day. I'm only fifteen, and I don't need this right now. I can't even think straight.
I can understand why your parents would be upset and concerned with what is happening with both your uncle and your brother. Use of illegal drugs such as pot is something you're all Uncle did on his own and if this is the cause of the break up of his marriage is not your fault and it is not something you or your parents really can do anything about.
If the break up of your uncles marriage and his use of pot is causing you great concern and you would like to know what to do about it to help yourself and him then I recommend the following. There is an organization called Al ateen. I believe the website addresses Alateen.org go to that website you'll find locations for meeting sites in your hometown where you can go and speak to others that have similar problems as yours. Through them you can find out a better way to work or handle the problems that you have with your uncle. You're not going to change your uncle or his pot habits what you will find out is how to better deal with him so as not to cause you such great concern or the harm that it is doing to you. There is also a website called Al-Anon you might recommend to your parents to go to this website it's Al-Anon.org where they will find meeting locations where they too can find better ways to deal with the problems caused by your uncle.
As for your brother or his girlfriend becoming pregnant, you're going to be an aunt very shortly. The best thing you can do is be prepared to help care for the baby and to take the stress off of being and unwed parent if this is the way things are going to be.
Just remember none of what's going on is not your doing or your parents doing it is just life. Sometimes in life things like this happen and the best you can do is to deal with what happens as it happens; to get upset to get angry is only harmful to yourself. This does not do you or your parents any good.
I know what I'm about to say is easier said than done but the best thing you can do for yourself and your parents is to go about your daily life as best you can. Be available to help be supportive but to stay out of the situations. What is uppermost for you to remember here is that in neither of these situations have you done anything wrong. As the saying goes the best thing you can do for yourself is to stay off the radar, in other words do what's asked of you. Try not to cause any new problems for your parents they have enough to worry about. Be helpful and just do whatever you need to do with as little bother to your parents as you can. I know this is not the answer you're looking for but it's the best advice I can give you.
Hi,
I met this girl on omegle. she gave me her kik id and asked me to chat with her....now she is threatning me to go to police. what should i do?
We really need more information before we can offer advice.
1. You ages will help a lot
2. Why is she threatening to go to the Police?
3. Did yoiu ask her to send you a pornographic picture?
4. Did you send her any.
5. Did you in any way sexually harrash her in your conversations?
The reasons for these questions are that if there is a large age difference; the sending or requesting of pornographic pictures or sexual harrasement over the web are the only things I can think of that would be of interest to the police.
If there is a large age difference and she is a minor and you an adult. If there is any sexual content to your messaging then the police would be interested in you being a child preditor. If none of the above applies then lacking any other information I can't see the police being interested in a complaint.
To be honest I feel like a prisoner.
My parents sort of force me to do sports, like they just sign me up each year without asking if I'd LIKE to do it. They ask also force me to alter serve, and I don't believe in that stuff anymore, because I'm bisexual and the bible is against that so...........
And I remember my mom forced me to do dance even though I hate dancing I cried that I didn't want to do it but she just yelled that I had to, and the only reason she wanted me to do it was because my friends were all doing it. It got to the point where I'd refuse to go and misbehaved so I got kicked out (I was younger) another thing she forced me to do is band,I decided to try for a year and she wouldn't let me quit when I decided I didn't like it. I want to learn gymnastics, maybe be a cheerleader, but she won't let me, she shamed me for it.
I tried to tell her I didn't want to do alter serving anymore but she got all bad and even got OTHER people (a nun, a couple of priests, random strangers) to subtly convince me to keep doing it. I overheard her reveal it to a family member. I didn't tell her the golden reason why I wanna quit because I don't think I'm ready.
I will get to the parenta issue in a moment, first I would like to address the issue of bisexual and labels.
I want to stress that there is nothing wrong being bisexual. My concern is given your age, which I believe to be mid to late teens, are you truely bisexual or a teenager experementing with her sexuality.
It is not unusual for a teenager to experement with his or her sexuality with someone of the same sex. I have known a few females that were bi all the way through college then went straight hetero. Why, simply because it is easier, safer and in college women out number men. At your age it is easier and safer to have a lesbian sexual relationship while still liking boys for parents will not question two girls having a sleep over or being together behind closed doors. Puberty causes sexual tension. Masturbation is one way to relieve the tension as is same sex sexual relations.
As you reach the age of majority, age 18, you can if you wish have a sex life with or without parental approval. Once you can have an open sex life you may wish to have a more normal male/female sexual relationship.
If you label yourself as bi now two things are possible. You will find it harder to have one on one sexual relaionships with male partners later. For now many of your classmates will not understand and you could be subject too harrasment and harm. So first make sure you are not just experimenting. If you have not had intercourse with a male then you are experimenting as you have nothing to compare. This does not mean you should go out and have sex with a male. You can wait.
Now as to your parents. First they mean well and please understand that what they do is not meant to hurt you but for the most part to keep you safe and secondly to give you a well rounded upbringing.
Parents of teenage girs biggest fear is for them to come home one day and announce they are pregnant. Many parents of teenage girls feel that if they keep them busy they won't have time for dating and sex. This may be true more often it is not.
I had a partner who raised a two teenage girls who followed this philosophy. When the first daughter went of to college; when she came home after the first semester. I'm sure you guessed it, she announced she was pregnant. She had never learned how to date or handle boys plus she just went wild with her freedom.
Use the story I just gave you if you think it will help and have a conversation with your parents. tell them how you feel and ask them to trust you. You need the opportunity to spread your wings and find out how the world operates while they are able to help you and in a way pick up the pieces if you hit a the proverbial wall. This is what teenage life is all about. Learning to become a law abiding adult and how to funtion in the adult world.
Trust is a big part of functioning in the adult world. You need to learn to earn trust and how to trust others. This is what you need to discuss with your parents.
What are the side effects of xasten drug
This drug is shown to be in the glass of Steriod drugs. All steriods have some side effects.
When I researched the side effects there were many different listings of side effects attached to this drug. I suggest the best answer to this question is to ask your doctor or druggist for side effects to be concerned about.
When you picked up the medication you should have had a pamphlet printed out and inserted with the medication. In the information contained in the panphlet would have been a list of side effects. If like most of us you disregarded it ask the druggist to print out another copy for you.
Given the number of different answers I saw I believe this is the best way to get a straight and truthful answer.
I just had sex with my boyfriend today on my second day of my period , is there any chance of me geeting pregnant because he only stuck it in a few times and wasnt near squirting not even close to getting there but he stopped because i told him to take it out because i didnt feel comfortable? Please answer my question.... :( im scared
Ther is a 15% chance you could get pregnant having unsafe sex during your period. I will explain.
For 85% of women they ovulate during the 7th to 21st day of their cycle. It is during this time that women that use the rthymn method of birth control do not have sex. The problem her is you have to know when you ovulate. Meaning when your overy ejects and egg. For 85% of women it is during this time. For 15% of women they can ovulate at anytime including while they are haveing their period. If you have unprotected sex during your period or during the suposed safe time and donot know when you ovulate; there is a 15% chace of pregnancy.
Next the male emits a fluid during intercourse. It is the same fluid that carries the sperm nd contais enough sperm to cause pregnancy. He does not feel this fluid being emitted as it emits as a lubricant and looks a lot like the lubrication you might see on your fingers if you masturbate.
You should do two things. Go to the drug store and if it has been less then 7 days get an plan "B" pill. These pills have been known to be effective u to 7 dys after intercourse although they are most affective within 48 hours. If it has been longer than that and longer than 10 days get a home pregnacy test kit. This way you will know if you are safe or have something to worryabout. Should it come up positive don't freak out. Ther are more false positives then negative,wait ten days and test again.
If you are not pregnant go back to the drug store and purchase an ovulation kit. This kit will help you know when you ovulate. This is important for a women to know for more reasons then just when it is safe to have sex,
Hey , um i really fell in love with this girl , and we really wanna get married and have our own life.But there is one problem though , i discovered that she is a atheist :( , and according to my religion ,Islam , Guys cannot marry non Muslims unless they convert , or at least the kids would be Muslims.Islam is not strict or anything but its just a major law that must be followed.i don't know I'm thinking about giving up my religion for her but i would be in deeeeep shit , ill lose my relationship with my mother , sister and friends:(. I tried to make her convert but she just doesnt believe in the existence of god , should i try harder or what.what can i do , i really love her.should i give up my religion ?:(
No do not give up your religion. If your family is agreeable to you marrying outside your religion then go ahead and marry this girls. My wife and I are of two different faiths and we have been married for 43 years. Neither of us are deeply religious though we did promise both our parents that our children would know both of our religions. When they came of age they could then chose which religion they wished to follow. Our parents were very happy with thiis idea and we did make sure that the children had a good insite into both religions by celebrating both religions with their grandparents when we were with them.
If her parents are not athiest, which is very possible as I'm sure your parents may be shall we say less then pleased with an athiest in the family. The solution we chose should satisfy everyone including your girlfriend.
Talk to your Imam (I hope I spelled that right) and see if he is ageeable to my solution. It is not a refusale to raise the children Muslim, it is an agreement to educate them in the religion but to give them the right of choice when the come of age, something they would have as right anyway if they are American citizens.
The Muslim religion religion is unfortunatley portraid in the news as a less than peacefull religion. Those of us who know beter know it to be a religion of peace. If my suggestion keeps peace in the families and allows for a hapy life for you and your future wife I cannot see a reson your spiritual leader will refuse you.
Hello, thank you very much for your answer. Perhaps I have my bases mixed up, but there was no penetration involved. Rather just dry-humping and fondling of the genitals until orgasm. Maybe this doesn't actually matter, because either way it was wrong to her. She still has her virginity essentially.
I do plan on marrying this girl. She means so much to me. I know you're mother said, "there's plenty of fish out there.." but not this one.
A day later she messaged me saying in her words" I really don't mean to hurt you ...just keep in mind that I am a little insane and nothing makes sense in my world at the moment.." to which i replied that "just know that i care about you, and i'm here whenever you need me and want to talk about anything".. She responded with a crying face and said ,I'm sorry and thank you.." You say theres not much hope, but I'm not going to give up on this girl. I vowed to her father moments before he passed that I would do my best to be there for her.. Now its just that I'm not sure if she means she's sorry, "don't mean to hurt your feelings but i'm still breaking up with you".. or if she means " i'm sorry for what i said last night, lets stay together.." I didn't want to ask because she may just rationally say in her current unstable emotional state that she does want to split up... What she said though was pretty hurtful.. never had she said anything like that before and seemed so cold the night that she said we should split up. Would you say that she's dealing with a lot of stress and pressure and just doesn't want me to get hurt if she doesn't talk to me for a bit? So she's intentionally trying to hurt me, to agree that we should break up? This similar siutation happened before.. randomly (on the subject that i said i would miss her alot)she wanted to break up.. a day later she said lets work it out and was so glad that she decided to keep the relationship... This is really killing me.. I think I should just give her space to think things through and she'll message me eventually right? IF not maybe every couple days i'll just email or send her a message asking her how shes doing? Before I give up, and try to find a new woman. I want to do all it takes to be with this one.
I'm not sure how to put this as I can see you feel not only an obligation to her father but you are also deeply in love with her. In one sense I have been where you are having once been in love with a girl who was not in love with me. You have done your best to carryout your obligation to her father and you can still do so by being there for her should she ever need you in the future.
The biggest problem I see in your present situation is one of distance. Words in an email are cold and lack expression. Phone calls can add emotion to the words but still lack expression so they both can easily be dismissed. Tome might heal all wounds tough it may not in this case make her heart grow fonder as you are nowhere close to be seen or heard.
Going to third base crossed a line she did not want to cross in doing so she either no longer feels she can trust you or trust herself with you to stop at third base. One or the other or both are a possibility. These are real fears for her if she is set on saving herself dor her wedding night.
You don't have to give up on this girl totally. You can give her a month or two and see if she contacts you. Call it playing hard to get for she has hurt you as well. Then if you still want to, you can email her and say sommething happened that day to make you think of her and you thought to send her an email to see how she was getting a long. Christmas will be here soon and a email to wish her Merry Christmas would be appropriate.
Keep it short,tell her your happy though you miss her. Update her on any mutual friends if she has not kept in touch. Then wait and see if she writes back and if so what she says. If she does take your cue from what she writes to you. If she doesn't write back you have your answer as to whether or notyou can get back into her life.
I wish I had a better answer for you but I just do not see one. Not knowing her cultural background I can oly guess that what you did violated her in a manner that she now feel dirty and possibly used goods. If she is from any of the middle eastern countries this would be a true feeling for her as it is not only a cultural thing it is a religious upbringing that only her husband may have any caranal knowledge of her.
I swear I see God when I have sex with my current partner - he's the first man to ever make me cum. The problem is he doesn't seem to get off....ever. We've been together twice, the sex has gone on for hours and still no climax for him. I have suggested we bring another woman in (hoping that would help) he says he doesn't care either way, Im not really inclined to force the issue and I don't want to pressure him about it but I feel like maybe I don't please him....what should I do?
Since you have not given your ages lets do this by the numbers. There are any number of reasons why he can't climax during intercourse.
First question: Can you get him off orally or with a hand job: If so the problem may have to do with a fear of getting you pregnant. This is very possible many men have this fear. It does not matter if you are on birth control or using condoms.
Second Question: Has he ever climaxed during intercourse with you. You say ever as in never but you need to be specific if we are to help him. It is not unusual for a male to occassionally not beable to get off. Stress, diet and medications can be a problem.
As others have written you need to communicate with him and him with you. The key to any succesfull relationship including sex is the ability to talk openly. Maybe he has a fethish most people do and there are tons of them. Just remember their is nothng wierd about what happens in the bedroom just as long as both of you consent to doing whatever it is that will help him in geing off.
One adviser wrote about bondage, this requires a great deal of trust, in whoever is going to be tied up, in the other partner. Crossdressing is another as is spankings. There is nothing wrong with theses fetishes just as long as you and he are both willing to indulge the other. This is where communication comes in. So talk to him.
If the above is not the problem then you should help him with the folowing.
1. If you are not aware of what type of stress he may be under at work or home ask him. There are ways to handle stress.
2. Ask him to make an appointment with his doctor for a complete physical and to tell the doctor of this problem. Offer to go with him.
3. If his doctor finds nothing wrong then it is time to see a Urologist. His doctor should suggest this if not you should suggest it. The Urologist or and Internist is a Doctor who specializes in the area of the body covering the sexual organ.
4. If sill nothing is found to be wrong then I suggest you and he find a phychologist who practices sexual psychology for his problem most likely is mind over matter and this is the doctor who will do him the most good.
Do this by the numbers, first by talking openly then by the process of eliminating the most worrysome first. Some way along the way the problem should be found.