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my parents are so controlling!
To be honest I feel like a prisoner.
My parents sort of force me to do sports, like they just sign me up each year without asking if I'd LIKE to do it. They ask also force me to alter serve, and I don't believe in that stuff anymore, because I'm bisexual and the bible is against that so...........
And I remember my mom forced me to do dance even though I hate dancing I cried that I didn't want to do it but she just yelled that I had to, and the only reason she wanted me to do it was because my friends were all doing it. It got to the point where I'd refuse to go and misbehaved so I got kicked out (I was younger) another thing she forced me to do is band,I decided to try for a year and she wouldn't let me quit when I decided I didn't like it. I want to learn gymnastics, maybe be a cheerleader, but she won't let me, she shamed me for it.
I tried to tell her I didn't want to do alter serving anymore but she got all bad and even got OTHER people (a nun, a couple of priests, random strangers) to subtly convince me to keep doing it. I overheard her reveal it to a family member. I didn't tell her the golden reason why I wanna quit because I don't think I'm ready.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
I am going to respectfully disagree with adviceman regarding sexuality.
There is nothing wrong with identifying as bisexual at any age. Sexuality is fluid, and people may lean one way or another throughout their lives. I'm all for being flexible when it comes to labels, especially when putting a label on your sexuality causes you stress, but I very strongly disagree that it's harmful to identify as bisexual at this point in your life. There is no risk to future relationships whatsoever; I can say this as an adult openly bisexual woman in a monogamous, opposite sex relationship. To imply that bisexuality is simply a waypoint on the way to a "normal", straight relationship is dismissive and frankly, offensive. You don't have to have experience with both sexes to know that you are bisexual, just like a straight virgin doesn't have to have had sex to prove that they are straight. It's all about attraction. Don't let anyone change who you are.
As for the problems with your parents: it's hard when you don't have a lot of say in what you do. Parents do typically have your best interests at heart. I remember being forced to play soccer for 5 years even though I hated it and was terrible at it, but it was because it's good for building teamwork skills. Your parents may be looking forward to your college applications; many colleges look favourably on applicants with lots of extracurricular activities. The only suggestion I can really offer is to try bargaining. For example, maybe you could offer to continue altar serving if you are allowed to do gymnastics, or to do gymnastics if you get a part time job and pay for it yourself. Otherwise, it's just a matter of waiting it out. It seems like you're living with your parents forever, but that time flies by before you know it.
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I will get to the parenta issue in a moment, first I would like to address the issue of bisexual and labels.
I want to stress that there is nothing wrong being bisexual. My concern is given your age, which I believe to be mid to late teens, are you truely bisexual or a teenager experementing with her sexuality.
It is not unusual for a teenager to experement with his or her sexuality with someone of the same sex. I have known a few females that were bi all the way through college then went straight hetero. Why, simply because it is easier, safer and in college women out number men. At your age it is easier and safer to have a lesbian sexual relationship while still liking boys for parents will not question two girls having a sleep over or being together behind closed doors. Puberty causes sexual tension. Masturbation is one way to relieve the tension as is same sex sexual relations.
As you reach the age of majority, age 18, you can if you wish have a sex life with or without parental approval. Once you can have an open sex life you may wish to have a more normal male/female sexual relationship.
If you label yourself as bi now two things are possible. You will find it harder to have one on one sexual relaionships with male partners later. For now many of your classmates will not understand and you could be subject too harrasment and harm. So first make sure you are not just experimenting. If you have not had intercourse with a male then you are experimenting as you have nothing to compare. This does not mean you should go out and have sex with a male. You can wait.
Now as to your parents. First they mean well and please understand that what they do is not meant to hurt you but for the most part to keep you safe and secondly to give you a well rounded upbringing.
Parents of teenage girs biggest fear is for them to come home one day and announce they are pregnant. Many parents of teenage girls feel that if they keep them busy they won't have time for dating and sex. This may be true more often it is not.
I had a partner who raised a two teenage girls who followed this philosophy. When the first daughter went of to college; when she came home after the first semester. I'm sure you guessed it, she announced she was pregnant. She had never learned how to date or handle boys plus she just went wild with her freedom.
Use the story I just gave you if you think it will help and have a conversation with your parents. tell them how you feel and ask them to trust you. You need the opportunity to spread your wings and find out how the world operates while they are able to help you and in a way pick up the pieces if you hit a the proverbial wall. This is what teenage life is all about. Learning to become a law abiding adult and how to funtion in the adult world.
Trust is a big part of functioning in the adult world. You need to learn to earn trust and how to trust others. This is what you need to discuss with your parents.
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