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My dad won't allow me to be involved in the religion I love...(worshipping the Horned God)
So I had been a Wiccan for months, and my dad had the bad idea of it. That every Wiccan was a witch. That witches are evil. That the Horned God is associated with Satan because he has horns/antlers. I have never felt comfortable in Christianity, but felt comfortable in Wicca, like I was 100% safe and nothing would ever hurt me. I'll be turning 18 in a few months. Should I just light candles in my room, try to tell the Horned God that I'm sorry and that I'll move in with my friend when I turn 18 and become a Wiccan again?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Spirituality?
Your dad is trying to keep you safe, and he believes the path you are following will lead to unhappiness and immorality. He, along with the majority of society, sees "Wiccans" or witches as inherently evil, and their Horned God as the Devil. He is afraid that you are going down a path straight to Hell - which is a REALLY terrible place - eternal suffering? Um... no one wants that for their kids!!
He also still sees you as an impressionable young and innocent child, who just doesn't know any better. He thinks you've been misled and corrupted, and that it is his job as your father to help you find your way back to the right path. He will not listen to what you have to say on the subject because, quite simply, he believes you have been brainwashed, or corrupted, by this "Wiccan" group - which he thinks is inherently evil. He is afraid for you, and you are his baby - he is not going to be very reasonable - it's his emotional side talking, not his rational side.
Because he is your father, you should respect his wishes. You should also listen to everything he has to say - he might know something or have information that you don't, and it may affect how you feel about everything. Give his guidance a chance - he wants only the best for you.
If, after you have listened to him and truly thought about what he has to say, you still feel Wicca is the right path for you, the first thing I would do is try to find someone he will listen to, who does understand why you have chosen this path, and ask them to talk to him.
I would certainly adhere to his wishes. Don't practice the rituals or ceremonies in his home. He has the right to say what can or cannot be done under his roof. But he cannot dictate what you believe. If you prayer and keep the Wiccan beliefs in your heart, and live by them day by day, you have nothing to apologize for. If rituals are required, find somewhere else to enact them.
Try to remember that he is much, much older, and much wiser than you. He was your age once, and he had rebellious thoughts, and he learned - he has a lifetime of experiences he has learned from - and he really is wiser than you are. Times have changed, true, but people and the ways of the world never change - and he has learned a lot more than you probably can even imagine. So listen to what he has to say, and consider it very, very carefully.
I think if you show him that you ARE listening, and that your reasons for going with Wicca are well thought out and logical, and if he is shown what Wicca really is, he may lay off a bit. If not - well, like I said - he cannot make you believe something you don't.
If you don't know someone who is sympathetic to your choice who will talk to him, I would try to find some books or booklets or maybe a website on Wicca, and if you show him you are listening to him and considering what he is saying in a logical and thoughtful way - maybe he will be willing to take a look at the website and find out about what Wicca truly is all about.
Good luck, and remember - he is your father, and you owe him your respect and your consideration. He makes the rules in his house and you should follow them. But he nor anyone else can tell you what to believe - that has to be your choice.
Take care - I hope I have helped some. *smile*
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I think you may be a little confused on the Wiccan religion
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Have you tried giving your father some more information on it? Maybe not face to face, because some people just don't understand when we try to explain (I'm Wiccan and have been half-heartedly practicing for the better part of 10 years), but have you tried giving him some literature to read? I don't know what type of person your father is, but if you feel he wouldn't listen to your voice and wouldn't accept anything you try to give him to read, then I would try printing out some articles and leaving them casually somewhere. He's your dad and you're almost 18; he's going to jump at any chance he can to look at what you leave around.
I wouldn't jump to with moving out just because your father has an idea about Wicca that most people of his generation have. And remember, the gods of Wicca aren't like the God that Christianity depicts him to be: the gods won't be upset if you miss a few Sabbats because of other family obligations. If you're concerned, you could do some offerings to the gods on the Sabbats, without doing any specific rituals. Even just saying something like, "I thank The Horned God and ask for his blessing this day. So Mote It Be." And your dad can't mad at you for meditating, so do lots of that, too!
Like I said, I only have a limited representation of what type of man your father is, but it's only been a few months of you practicing Wicca. If your father is a Christian, it may be asking him too much too soon to accept the fact that you are following a path much different than his. All parents want just what is best for their children, and unfortunately sometimes we tend to push our ideals on them, believing that what worked for us will work for them. Give him some more time, and try not to push it down his throat. Give him the option to accept it, but if not, try again down the road. It could be that once he realizes that your new found religion isn't just a phase you're going through, he'll be more open to learning about what you've accepted into your life.
Speaking as a Wiccan now, too, you could probably do a ritual asking for open-mindedness and patience; the first for your for your father, to learn to accept what he cannot change, and patience for you, to allow yourself to give him the time to learn and be okay with it. Keep in mind the Three Fold Law, and make sure your wording doesn't undermine free will. Remember that a ritual can only guide and help grow what is always there, not change a person entirely.
I hope the best for your and your father. I know it's difficult watching a child choose a different path than where your own heart lies, and I know how painful it can be to have a parent dismiss and second-guess something that makes you feel so secure. Time can heal, though! Blessed Be.
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Hey there!
Firstly, I respect that you're brave enough to believe in what you do, and stand up for it. I think your father needs to mind his own business. Of course he wants to protect you and I've found that most parents wants us to follow them in whatever religion they choose to be. But like so many other things, it's something everyone must choose for themselves. You're almost 18! You have the power to decide what you want to believe, and whatever you want to do. He cannot force you into christianity or any other religion. Just tell him to respect your choices as you respect his. Religion is something personal to each and everyone of us. So go ahead, & believe in what you feel like believing.
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Are you moving out when you turn 18? If not - well, your birthday isn't going to change anything.
BTW: never leave a candle unattended. If you burn your dad's house down, sure as anything he'll blame you new religion.
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I am delighted to see you are looking for my advice however, I am not very knowledgable when it comes to religion. I was born Catholic however we were never pressed to practice the religion. I feel what I'm about to tell you won't be much help - as log as you are living at home, unfortunately your parents have the last word. I feel that the best decision for you would to stick it out at home, if you truly believe in what you practise maybe have a sit down with your dad, be calm with him. Avoid saying things that sound like blame. Just explain how you feel about it, tell him what you know and that maybe he should show an interest in your life so he knows more about how you're growing up into an adult. Try making him feel that you want him in your life and your religion or however you perceive it is also part of you and it makes you who you are. But like I said be calm, respectful to his word, this will ultimately avoid argument. Also, there is one very important thing you must know and I think everyone should know this for that matter, no one can change anybody else. No matter if they believe they have, the person who's mind, habit or addiction that changes for the better or worse is solely up to the person themselves. So basically, if your father disagrees with you by the end of your calm sit down explanation, tell him that you understand where he is coming from, it is ok to be afraid of what we do not know, and that you hope the two of you can come to an agreement in the future. :)
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I'm sorry that I can't be of much help to you. I am a Christian myself and I'm so sorry that you haven't felt comfortable there. I was very much into Wicca when I was your age and then I started to experience some very scary supernatural things. I thought that I was totally in control when I was into it and felt the exact same thing that you did. And then, I realized that the one I was honoring was one of fear and not hope and life. I know this may not be the answer that you want to hear and it's okay if you want to rate me low. But, this has been my experience.
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You are young and it's normal to venture outside the religion you grew up with and spend periods of time or whole life even, fallowing a faith/s of your own choosing. If you want your father to be more supportive of your choice perhaps you should do a little research? Type "common misconceptions about Wiccan's" into google and see if you can find some support within the Wiccan community. YOu might find some people explaining the religion to outsiders in a way your father can understand? Your father might be willing to read what they have to say and become a bit more open minded about.
There is also the chance that he wont be willing to do this, but there is no harm in trying. If this is the case you need to make it okay to agree to disagree about religion with your father. Even after you turn 18 your father will still be in your life and religious affiliation might always be something the two of you don't agree about.
You should realize that you are very young and although you feel like this religion is absolutely the best thing for you now, you could change your mind later in your life. Also your father should try to understand that you are exploring a new religion and as you grow older you will explore many new things in life. He can't choose where your path takes you, he can advise you and he can offer support but indefinitely it is your decision. This disagreement is not worth destroying a family relationship over!! Many family's differ from each other in religious beliefs and love and respect each other just fine. Aim for this. We don't agree but respect each others choices because we're family.
I don't know anything about Wiccan's but I say light your candles and explore your life. Fallow your passions, learn, grow, make mistakes, change your mind and embrace life. If your father can't support you in that just get through it until your 18 and move out. Sometimes it's hard for parents to realize that their children are old enough to make their own decisions. Try and be understanding of that. I know it's hard when you don't have kids but try and understand your dad is just worried about you. Try and make him realize. If he pushes you away by judging your choices, he will loose you. If he pushes you away with judgment, he can't have you in his life. Then if something bad does happen you wont feel like you can go to him for help. So tell him if he is worried about you the best thing he can do is NOT push you away.
I don't know if any of that helped but I hope the two of you can work it out.
Good luck honey
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It's not your dads place to judge your religion but neither is it mind to judge your dad
If I was in your situation I would choose to worship in privet
I don't believe that any deity would wish someone to alienate their friends family
You and your dad seemed to both have A strong religious belief and my hope would be that you both find the time to sit down and talk about your differences coming to some sort of resolution
I wish you good luck
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Till the point you never hurt anybody and follow the right path to please God, I feel that you can follow any religion. But, I feel that moving away from parents is not right.
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Well I'm no expert about being a wiccan but you should pursue your dreams no matter what the cost. But even though your parents don't understand right now, you shouldn't try to leave them. They are still your parents even if there ass holes sometimes. I hoped this helped.
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Well, that's not very nice. As individuals, we are all titled to our own beliefs, theories, and ideas. It is not your dad's place to decide who or what you should believe in. If you're not comfortable being a Christian, then don't be a Christian. If you want to be a Wiccan, then be a Wiccan! Your dad isn't going to have God ground you. ;D
Anyways, if your dad isn't thrilled with the idea of you not being a Christian, then maybe you should keep your own belief to yourself. A philosophy or religion can be a private thing. Surround yourself with people that support you too. If you're not comfortable with engaging in Christian activities such as going to church, then just let your dad know. It is wrong for anyone, even a parent, to impose religion or anything else upon someone.
You are your own person. Good luck!
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Before you do that.. think for a long time evil is the easy path to take it might make you feel safe untouchable for that little point in time but light is the hardest thing to reach it takes years and practice to good... being involved with wicca could seem cool because you feel its something people fear or hate but u want to be different church is boring because its church wicca is fun because satan will do anything to take as many of gods children to hell with him and you will be falling for his evil plan in the end believe it or not... God is the only way dont let evil take you as well love....
Wish all the best
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Unfortunately when you're underaged and living in your parents' house, its their rules. Some stuff seems to make sense and some will never make sense to you and thats okay. Growing up and living on my own I've seen things my parents had and I can see why they did it and others I'm just like "That was their rules and its just not something I will enforce upon my children or myself, I view XYZ a different way..." and thats when you kind of grow into who YOU will be as an adult.
I think this is something that you'll have to respect your parents' wishes. If you want to do it behind closed doors, thats your call and if you don't feel guilty for and have a clear conscience with then I would say go for it. And then perhaps talk to your parents about it later on down the road and let them know THIS is what your beliefs are and this is who you want to be. They'll love you no matter what. I hope this helps, if you need anything else please let me know.
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I mean your parents control you until you're 18, but once you're 18 you're free to do whatever you want. You can worship whoever or whatever you want. Don't let anyone tell you any differently.
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Hi,
I am not too familiar with Wiccan, but as long as you are doing this in good spirits and not hurting anyone you'll be fine. Right? Horns or no horns. If your dad does not allow you to worship a different God at his home, I would respect his wishes until you have your own home to do as you please. I say respect your parents wishes, respect yourself, and naturally you will respect others. I make it sound simple because it is. I listed to music that could be related with worshiping other Gods, but it is an entertainment for me. Best of luck with your study of Wiccan religion and one day you can prove your dad wrong about your beliefs. Have a great day!
-ULO
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I'm an Atheist with a Wiccan friend and an extremely Christian friend got into an argument with me about the exact same thing a couple months ago because I showed her a tarot card I had found. It started when I showed her the pentagram on the back which she insisted was the Satanic pentagram.(Sorry about the ramble, I was just intrigued to find someone who had a similar experience and wanted to share mine.) I was told when I was little that I could believe in whatever I wanted. Your father can't make you believe in anything. You don't need to quit and then "become Wiccan again" later. You should practice freely. It's your religion, your beliefs, and your right. That's what America was originally all about, right? I say keep practicing, he obviously has no idea what he's talking about. (: Good luck.
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Well I dont really know much about the wicca but I think that
You could at least still do Wicca as long as you use it for the good of others.And it also may depend if it has been passed for generations
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Noone.should should.choos your religion.its just that
Not everybody is open to every religion. If.it upsets your.dad.that much then.just respect his beliefs for now because you are at your parents house. Then yes when you are not there anymore you can.do your own thing.
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Hi there! This is your life. You have the freedom to chose your religion. Even if your dad doesn't like what you want to become, he can't control that. You should go to whatever you feel most comfortable in. Good luck. I believe you will trust yourself and take the right path. If you need any more advice, just ask me on my advice column. Good luck.
~glasses
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You can still be Wiccan. You may not be able to openly practice your rituals, but no one can force you to be one religion or another. Your dad may be angry with you, make fun of you or even as much as it hurts me to say disown you. Thats just how alot of people who follow a strict religion are. Just explain to the horned god what's going on mabey even give him am offering if you think he may help things go your way. Alot of Christians asociate pagan god's with their devil because thats what their taught. If you havent alredy mabey talk to your dad about how your life has changed for the better since you have become Wiccan. I hope things work out for you and try to make the best of the situation.
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Hi there. I'm actually in a similar situation, but it's my girlfriend who doesn't want me to be Pagan rather than my father.
I don't know whether your father firmly opposes Wicca and won't change his opinion on it, or if he is simply misinformed about it and could change his opinion if he looked at it from a different perspective. If you don't think it will make him more angry, you could try talking to him and explain that he is misinformed about what Wicca really is. (Although, of course, depending on the situation, bringing it up to him could make things worse.)
If you want, I think you could communicate with the Horned God alone and light candles in your room, but I don't think you have anything to apologise for. I think he will understand. :)
If you have any other questions, feel free to inbox me anytime. I'm happy to help and I hope everything goes well for you.
Blessed be!
~ Kyler ♡
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Your father should not be forcing another religion on you and forcing you to give up the one you are comfortable with.
You could try and hold out till you turn 18 then your father cannot tell you who/what to worship.
If you need to light candles in your room and pray/talk to your god then do so!
Do what you need to do. It may be hard, but you only have to wait a few months.
I wish you the best of luck :)
- Hardcore-Band-Geek
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I tend to believe that everyone's religion is part of them, that no-one else has the same experiences or feelings as anyone else. Our religion is personal, even if you're in the same religion as 50,000 others, each one will have their own belief system. I don't know a great deal about Wicca, only that it's been around for a long time, and is largely accepted as an 'earth religion'. (I also think that there is only one God, but we all have a different view of Her/Him/It, whatever. Just as we would all give a different eye-witness account of an event, so we see God differently.)
So in my idea of it, if you worship the Horned God, whether that involves public displays of your faith or private prayer and praising, it is your business. Your God will hear and see you wherever, whatever you do.
For me, whoever you worship, as long as you do no harm to anyone or anything, you are free to do what you like.
Hope this helps and best wishes for your brilliant future.
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You're old enough to make your own decisions. The religion you follow should make sense to you and help you to be the best person you can be.
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Being religious is everyone's right and your dad should leave you be. So yes,if you want to stay Wiccan,do as you wrote you would.
Best wishes,
Luchia94
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Your father can't change your heart. Even if you do not overtly practice and worship, you have it in your heart and that is understood. Light candles in your room. Practice as you wish without disrupting your household. Honor yourself, your family, and your gods. Maintain balance. Soon, you will be on your own and will be grateful for the balance.
Blessed be.
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If your parents are Christian, they will likely never come around unless they choose to be more open-minded. Believe what you believe in secret for now until you turn eighteen and can make your own choices for beliefs. There is no real true Deity, God or Goddess who would take offense with you at your situation.
You may do your own little rituals in privacy of your room if family members are prone to knocking on your door often or just barging in. If you have siblings who dont believe the same as you, you'd have to keep it secret from them too.
But I do not believe any ritual necessary.
I began my beliefs in Christianity and later in life as an adult, by the leading of the Holy Spirit which I now recognize as the Goddess half of deity. The Horned God is the male representation of deity and the moon, the female one, The male is asso. with the sun and the Goddess with the moon. In my mind, there is nothing wrong with.
I have come to know that pagans, wiccans or witches if they identify themself as one, have acted more as children of GOD, Than the Christians I recall acting, and also have had more success with their prayers, rites or rituals for healing then Christians who believe that healing will only come if its Gods will.
I read a great book when i first became pagan. I still retain some of the principles from my Christian faith that I find truth in and discarded the rest after I discovered through experience and the reading of a comparison of Christianity vs Paganism as sister religions. Paganism was there first and Christianity copied and made much of the pagan ritual and beliefs part of their doctrine to win pagans over.
While you await your time to worship freely, you are still a Wiccan, it isn't something you can turn on and off and on again like a light switch. What is in your heart remains.
Hopefully your friend and her family are Wiccans and you can go over to visit and talk with them, perhaps if they attend a ritual, you can occasionally go along and stay overnight with them as long as your parents dont know of their beliefs. Since the sabbat rituals are only 8 during the year, its not likely to be often you do this. If you ever need someone to talk to more in depth about your beliefs, a friendly listening ear, feel free to write to me.
Blessed Be!
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You and your father may not agree about religion but that is not the issue here. The issue is, that as long as you live under your father's roof you have to obey his rules and follow his wishes. If he doesn't want you to practice Wicca in his house then you have to respect that. Once you turn 18 and move out you may do as you choose.
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My advice is that even though he is your father, nothing he can say will affect your religious views. As for the last part, i am sure your god will forgive you. Hope this helps! ~M&M
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I think you should definitely make your own peace with your Horned God and pursue things in a very discrete manner until you can do as you please when you are independent at 18. It's never a good idea to try and inflict spirituality and religion, or any other belief system on anyone who is hostile towards it. It never fails to cause arguments. On an interpersonal level and even globally, between nations (though there is usually some other agenda in play such as land and control of economics where nations are involved). I don't know anything about Wicca. Is it evangelical, encouraging you to convert people to the faith? Or is it a personal choice, between you and your god? I'm sure either way having a father who does not share your belief and is even dead against it can't count against you, can it? All belief systems with a godhead assume this supreme figure is all seeing and all knowing I believe? So I assume your Horned God will know the score (as it were) and know YOU are sound? And a few months (or longer) would hardly be likely to bother an eternal god. A case of keep the faith, and let others work at their own salvation I'd say.
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When you turn 18 you can pretty much do as you please with some exception if you are still living at home.
As parents we all have a rule even though legally by age you may be an adult, if you live under my roof you still must live by my rules. IF you are living under my roof it probably means you are unable to support yourself. While the law supports your right to be an adult and do as you please, the law also supports my right that once you turn 18 I no longer am legally responsible for you in an way shape or form. I do not have to pay for college, buy clothes, provide you with a car or anything else I may be providing. You are an adult now and by law should be providing this for yourself. You see my point.
Now once you leave Hearth and Home you are free to do as you please. While living at home lighting candles in your room may be against your fathers wishes, even after you turn 18. If he says don't light candles in my home then you should not fight him on this. In the same vain he can not force you to go to church. This all happens at the stroke of midnight on the day you were born.
Until then the law is on his side. If he tells you to get up, get out of bed and get dressed we are all going to church. You have little choice in the eyes of the law you are still a minor right up to 11:59:59pm the day before your birthday legally speaking and you have no choice.
There is nothing wrong with being a Wiccan. I have several friends that are Wiccans and follow the religion closely. They are nice people and great members of the community. I would suggest if you want to light candles you try and do so at your friends house rather than risk angering your father.
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