Member Since: January 12, 2014
Answers: 9
Last Update: August 28, 2014
Visitors: 1444
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So I had been a Wiccan for months, and my dad had the bad idea of it. That every Wiccan was a witch. That witches are evil. That the Horned God is associated with Satan because he has horns/antlers. I have never felt comfortable in Christianity, but felt comfortable in Wicca, like I was 100% safe and nothing would ever hurt me. I'll be turning 18 in a few months. Should I just light candles in my room, try to tell the Horned God that I'm sorry and that I'll move in with my friend when I turn 18 and become a Wiccan again? (link)
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Have you tried giving your father some more information on it? Maybe not face to face, because some people just don't understand when we try to explain (I'm Wiccan and have been half-heartedly practicing for the better part of 10 years), but have you tried giving him some literature to read? I don't know what type of person your father is, but if you feel he wouldn't listen to your voice and wouldn't accept anything you try to give him to read, then I would try printing out some articles and leaving them casually somewhere. He's your dad and you're almost 18; he's going to jump at any chance he can to look at what you leave around.
I wouldn't jump to with moving out just because your father has an idea about Wicca that most people of his generation have. And remember, the gods of Wicca aren't like the God that Christianity depicts him to be: the gods won't be upset if you miss a few Sabbats because of other family obligations. If you're concerned, you could do some offerings to the gods on the Sabbats, without doing any specific rituals. Even just saying something like, "I thank The Horned God and ask for his blessing this day. So Mote It Be." And your dad can't mad at you for meditating, so do lots of that, too!
Like I said, I only have a limited representation of what type of man your father is, but it's only been a few months of you practicing Wicca. If your father is a Christian, it may be asking him too much too soon to accept the fact that you are following a path much different than his. All parents want just what is best for their children, and unfortunately sometimes we tend to push our ideals on them, believing that what worked for us will work for them. Give him some more time, and try not to push it down his throat. Give him the option to accept it, but if not, try again down the road. It could be that once he realizes that your new found religion isn't just a phase you're going through, he'll be more open to learning about what you've accepted into your life.
Speaking as a Wiccan now, too, you could probably do a ritual asking for open-mindedness and patience; the first for your for your father, to learn to accept what he cannot change, and patience for you, to allow yourself to give him the time to learn and be okay with it. Keep in mind the Three Fold Law, and make sure your wording doesn't undermine free will. Remember that a ritual can only guide and help grow what is always there, not change a person entirely.
I hope the best for your and your father. I know it's difficult watching a child choose a different path than where your own heart lies, and I know how painful it can be to have a parent dismiss and second-guess something that makes you feel so secure. Time can heal, though! Blessed Be.
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will god forgive me and will I still go to heaven when I follow through with what I'm about to do. I figure if I'm going to loose everything I'm going to loose it on my terms. I am going to jail for driving under suspennsion and I,m on disability and I'll loose everything I'm already living my life in a wheelchair from a motorcycle accident. I already have my mind made up (link)
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I can't technically answer for God, whether he would forgive suicide or not. But I can tell you that suicide is said to be a mortal sin, and that you cannot be forgiven through repentance. By the definition of "mortal sin," then no, you wouldn't go to heaven if you killed yourself. You would go to hell.
I almost committed suicide a few years ago. The only thing that stopped me from doing it was seeing the family of a friend whose son had killed himself. They had lose a part of themselves...it's like the pain and confusion that had come with loving someone who took their own life had also taken a part of their heart. They'll never be whole again. I knew then, that if I had taken my own life, it wouldn't solve my own problems...it would just cause more for the ones I loved. Even people who didn't love me and only knew me...they'd always question if they could have done something. They'd never be the same, and they would be a little bit less okay for the rest of their lives. I couldn't allow my own choices to have that effect on everyone I'd ever met.
I pray that you don't kill yourself. Sometimes it's difficult to see options when we're overwhelmed and we feel that everything is going wrong. Sometimes so many things go wrong at once that we can't accept it and we want it to just all end at once. But it's important to remember that our actions have consequences for everyone we touch, not just ourselves. I pray that you'll know that this one person, typing feverishly and hoping to make a difference, is rooting for you to keep on keeping on.
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I have a very strong relationship with my mother and due to this people consider her my best friend(as well as mother of course) while others disagree and just say that she is just my mother. What do you think? (link)
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It is definitely possible for your mother to be your best friend, but there is a line, in my opinion, that shouldn't be crossed. I think the timing of this depends on age.
My own mother considered herself to be my best friend, and when I reached certain important aspects of growing up, I realized I didn't WANT her to be my friend; I wanted a mother figure. For example, when I got pregnant at age 20, she told me everything would be fine, and not to worry about money or expenses. I actually got angry when she said that, because as a mother she should be helping me prepare for the hardships of parenthood and how difficult it would be raising a child in a low income family.
But there comes an age where I believe in the best situation mothers go from being a mom to being a friend. They should come to realize that as we become adults, we make our own decisions, and all they can do is support us, as a friend would.
So in my opinion, this all depends on your age, and what kind of friend your mother is. As long as she was able to be a strong actual PARENT, there is no reason why she cannot be your best friend.
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I dont know what to do, im inlove with him i think about him all the time we text and call all the time and she has no idea.. i feel so guilty (link)
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There are a few different factors to take into consideration here: how long ago did they break up? Why did they break up? How long were they together? Who broke up with whom? What would you be risking? For example, is your friend the type who would feel it's a blatant disrespect of your friendship? Or would she feel okay about you pursuing a possible relationship?
A good idea would be to compare your history with your friend versus her history with this guy. Will she know you well enough to understand that you're having a moral dilemma with the situation? Will she understand that you're not taking any decision lightly?
Also, contrary to other answers I've seen to your question, if he cheated on her, don't do it. Not only would you be embarking on a relationship with a known cheater, but your friend will probably feel betrayed AND think you're insane.
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Okay, my name is Allison. I am 15 years old. So, this year I started being friends with a bunch of drugies. &' I really love it. They have gotten me into all of that stuff. My ex-boyfriend is named Sam. He was the reason why that all happened. When he first asked me out I was so excited. We are an on &' off again kinda thing. He was my first that I slept with. &' only so... But, the reason I am Telling you all of this is because my dad doesn't want me to see Sam anymore &' he says my friends are bad influences. What should I do? (link)
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It's tough having friends who your parents don't approve of, but what this issue really comes down to is the level in which your father trusts you, and what you have done to earn or sacrifice that trust. See if you can put yourself in his shoes: he wants to keep you safe, you've started hanging out with people that do drugs, and drugs are not safe. You are his daughter, and you've started having sex. These are scary things to deal with as a parent, and he’s reacting in a way that he thinks is best.
In my opinion, your friends ARE bad influences. That doesn't mean they’re bad people, and that doesn't mean they aren't “good” friends to you, in your definition of the word good. But the point is, their friendship has influenced you to get involved in drugs, and drugs are bad for you. That’s not an opinion on the matter, it is a fact: while drugs may make you feel good, chill out, bond with friends, they’re bad for your health. It is your father’s job as a parent to keep you healthy and teach you to make good decisions. In his eyes, you are making a decision that risks your health, and are therefore not making a good decision, so he’s taking matters into his own hands.
But you’re fifteen. That’s not being an adult, but it also makes it virtually impossible for your father to keep an eye on you at all times of day, and therefore unrealistic that he could expect you to just stop being friends with people because he demands it. Though it’s a nice thought that he thinks you might listen to him.
I would recommend trying to go for a compromise, but my advice is inherent to you WANTING your dad to trust you. If you aren't willing to earn his trust, your entire question is pointless, because there is nothing that will truly help in the long run. Having a parent trust you will give you more freedom, a closer relationship, and better communication. So, my advice is to ask your dad if you could still see these friends as long as it is under his roof, under his observation. No drugs, no sex, just you and your friends. If this isn't something that you’d consider, ask yourself: why am I friends with these people, and why am I not willing to hang out with them without the aid of substances? (I’m not sure if this would be the case, but I figured I’d cover all my bases.)
That all being said, I have to implore you to reconsider these drugs you've been taking, whatever they are. Drugs are well liked by many because most of them calm you down, chill you out, and cause you to forget your problems. They slow you down. At your age, it is imperative to have a drive to succeed. If you forget your problems, you forget to CARE about your problems, and you don’t learn to overcome them. This is a crucial part of your life to discover who you are and who you want to be, and with a foggy mind, you will find down the road you may have missed a step because you weren't paying attention. I can tell you from personal experience it is extremely possible to have friends who do drugs and not partake in them yourself. If they are true friends, they’ll accept that about you. Please, don’t take this as some cranky adult judging your ways or scolding your habits, just as a person who’s seen it happen and doesn't like what she sees.
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Okay, so I took eight 500mg Tylenol &' I'm afraid something is going to happen. The reason that I did this was because I really wanna get high &' I have no weed ... So that is what I did now I'm afraid. Please tell me what to do!! Also, is there another way to get high? Oh, I'm 15 &' weigh 103 lbs. I'm a girl. Thanks. (link)
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The answer to your question is actually in the question. You did something to alter your perception and it scared you. How are you going to feel if you take something that will alter your perception so rapidly that it deteriorates your mind? Or your body? How much of that fear are you willing to risk?
The other advice columnist is correct in saying that you won't actually get high from Tylenol, you're more likely to get sick. Did you know that if you take other medications in the same manner you could end up killing yourself? You could get so sick you could end up passing out and throwing up and ending up asphyxiating on your vomit (inhaling vomit into your lungs) and dying.
You're lucky that you picked a medication and a dose that didn't do this to you, but what are the chances you'll be that lucky next time? You're smart to be scared. You should be very scared.
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I feel so quilty saying this, because God might be mad that I am questioning him, but im so scared. I never touch the Bible but I should. And when I hear a voice in my head I think its just my imagination. Im scared of dying, cause its just so scary. I know its part of life, but there is so many things out there that can kill you, it makes no sense. I wish I could ask what happens when you die, but I can,t. I ask and pray for God to show me something like they do in the Bible but nothing happens. The stuff in the bible is so awesome, but none of that stuff has happend. Im just so scared. Please tell me what you know. (link)
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This is such a personal question, and by that I mean that I believe each person sees God in different ways. I, myself, was raised Roman Catholic. I was an alter server, and a cantor in choir, and I taught CCD and Sunday School. When I turned 14, I decided to stop going, because of mostly political Christian things I didn't fancy. I believe in gay marriages and I think that people should be able to go to church with piercings, tattoos, and leather, and not be judged. I don't believe we should have to tell a priest our sins, because I believe that God sees into our hearts and knows our pain and if we are truly sorry. I think that the church as a whole is more judgmental than it should be given Jesus's teachings.
But none of this has to do with how I perceive God, or His love, or the faith I have in Him. And most of the time, I don't even think of Him in that context. I look around me and I just see something that was created, something amazing, and that just astounds my soul. I don’t believe that we will see those “Acts of God” present in the bible if we pray for them because that would be asking for proof, and that’s the entire opposite of what faith is. Faith is not needing proof and believing anyway. I think it’s the moments and emotions we’ll see and feel when we give in to that faith that are the true Acts of God. The bible is a wonderful book full of faith, and it's inspiring, but just look around you for a moment. See how beautiful and amazing the world is and how it has grown. See the people that need help and be KIND and make a DIFFERENCE. Find something to strive for to make your world even better, because something has given us the ability to do that, and we should take advantage of it in every moment of every day.
It makes sense to be afraid of dying, because what happens after is unknown. We all are scared of the unknown, and if we knew what happens after our lives end, we wouldn't strive to live so powerfully. In my mind, the point of life is to just make the best of it. I know that sounds sappy and vague, but really think about it. When we die, we're not going to care about the things we have, or how many hours we worked. We're going to be thinking of those we love, and the lives we have touched and changed. In this day and age, that makes most people think of celebrities and famous people, but it's less than that and a whole lot more at the same time. If you can change one life for the better, if you can make someone grateful just for your words or actions, then that fear of death won’t be nearly as terrifying, because it's not the point. The point is to LIVE and not just survive. Make a difference. Change someone’s life. Give someone hope.
Go outside and look around. Life is everywhere. It’s in nature, it’s in people, it’s in problems, and it’s in overcoming them. Life isn’t about fear, and if you are afraid of death, then don’t waste time. Live not just for today, but for other people’s tomorrows.
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So i got my 1st period few months ago and i already had it few times, i always tried to tell my mom but i didnt know how to.. And one time i got it , it left red mark on my bed and she saw it and asked me what is this and i said i dont know and i feel horrible for lying to her !! Please help (link)
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You know, I did the same exact thing that you did, and the same exact thing happened to me, possibly for different reasons though.
I was very young when I got my first period (nine years old) and I was very much a tomboy. In contrast, my mother is very big about celebrating "womanhood" and all things that go with it, like taking me out to dinner and giving me presents when I got my first bra. All I wanted to do was strap the things down and go climb a tree, so the thought of my mother singling me out and making me feel all womanly was mortifying. When I got my period and she found out, she literally took our phone out on the back porch and called my entire family, crying tears of joy.
The important thing to remember is that your mom went through this too. Depending on our upbringing and knowledge, getting your period can be a scary or embarrassing thing to go through, and I guarantee she went through something similar. You know your mom best, so you could probably guesstimate how she would react to any of the following advice, but this is what I would do.
Go to your mom, and just say, "Hey, I didn't want to hide this from you or anything, but I just don't want to make a big deal about it...I just want to let it go, if that's okay," and tell her that you got it. If you feel horrible about lying to your mom, it tells me that you and your mother have a relatively honest and open relationship, and she'll probably understand. Like I said, she's been through it. Not many girls like to scream out to the world that she's gotten it when it happens to her.
If you don't feel comfortable confronting her face to face, you could even write a note. My mom LOVES passive aggressive notes :) And just say the same thing: Mom, I know you saw the mark on my bed, and I'm sure you know what it is, and I'm sorry I hid it from you. I wanted to tell you, but didn't know how. I just don't want to make a big deal about it. Thanks for understanding!
Honesty is the best policy. I can bet that your mom would be less upset that you hid it, and happier that you were honest with her in the end.
I hope this helps! Good luck!
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About 4 years ago, I came across a stray cat fighting. I scared away the other cat and nursed his wounds. He was very grateful and started to come by my house almost every day. He had the cutest meow that kinda sounded like "Rroooww" sort of a roar haha. I love him to bits and even gave him a name, Tangy. He came to my call and loved on me. Problem is, I can't have him in the house because he might spray. The last time I saw him, I'd say he was maybe 8. He stopped coming by my house this year during late summer. I don't know if someone took him in or if he's dead. I constantly worry about him. Does anyone have an idea what might have happened to him?
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Stray cats are everywhere unfortunately :( There are too many to house, and cats breed like crazy when they aren't spade or neutered.
As to what happened to your sweet kitty, it depends a lot on how much feline volunteer programs are in your area, and (I know you don't want to hear this) what kind of predators are in your area and in what volume.
I had a cat that ran away about a year and a half ago, and in my heart I know she's passed on, and was most likely was victim to some sort of coyote or other predator. But I know this because my cat was indoor, and had never learned to truly defend herself, and was always the submissive one with the other cats I had in my household. I could just imagine her seeing a coyote and going, "Aww, a big fluffy dog! Wanna cuddle?" She also was shyer around humans she didn't know, so it's doubtful she found her way into another household. It absolutely broke my heart, but I did call my local feline volunteer group (Forgotten Felines around here) and put in a missing cat report, and I called Animal Control to keep an eye out.
That said, your feline friend obviously knows how to take care of himself, given that you first found him in a fight, and since he came to you so willingly, there's a good chance he was found by another Good Samaritan, and that he's living the good life.
For future reference, if you find him again, I would find a feline volunteer group near you. They always have too many cats to take in all strays found, obviously, but a lot of places take cats in and neuter or spay them then release them again, to avoid more population. It could stop him from spraying, but even if you still can't keep him, it is a little thing you can do to help control the population off little defenseless homeless kitties.
I hope this helps, and I hope he comes to you again someday soon!
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