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I am a girl, currently in Grade 12, and I have had a crush on this one guy in my grade since halfway through first semester grade 9.
He is really cute, and he loves singing and history. He is really funny, but can also be quite serious. He tends to be quite loud in class(he is in no way shy), but he is so sweet and kind and honest that the teachers rarely get mad at him.
I am quite(extremely...) shy when in a group setting, but one on one I tend to open up a bit. However, I only ever see this guy in class, in choir, and when our two friend groups (occasionally) hang out together.
He is always hanging around with this one group of girls, but he would never date any of them, so I know that's not an issue. The problem is that he's always with them. I get along well with all of them, a couple are even sort of my friends, but it would be awkward for me to just join their group when they are talking or whatever. I have in the past, like if they are in my class and my regular friends aren't but its just a little awkward...anyways yeah I feel too awkward to get closer to him that way.
He jokes around a lot, and when we are in a small group of people together, he sometimes/often teases me more than the other people in the group. In class the other day, he came over to talk to me, and he asked me about why I had been late for class that morning. He has done similar things a number of times in the past.
Also, just to point out, he is straight. I know this for sure. The girls he hangs out with have been his friends for years, they are like sisters to him...
Another problem- I am scared to tell my friends I like him. I told them a couple years ago, but they laughed and told me we would make a really awkward couple (probably because I'm 5'9", and at the time he was super skinny and like 5'3", but he's grown since then). I would love to have their support, but we don't really talk about guys much, and I feel like I've been lying to them for years about this guy..not that I ever lied...I just didn't speak up...
Also, casual out-of-school meetings are difficult because he lives in a different city than I do, although we go to the same school (it's a private school). I can't just casually invite him to do something with me like randomly on a Saturday because he lives like a 45 minute drive away..
I guess what I want to know is: do I have any chance with him? and how do I got about getting that chance? (link)
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You really need to involve yourself in more social events, preferably where he will be. I don't say to act like a stalker either. This will not only help you get closer to him, but it will help your self confidence to be in public gatherings. If, and from what you've written, you have barely even hung out as friends, then I don't suggest trying to immediately date him. You don't want to commit to a relationship with a stranger would you? There are always two sides if not more to people - 1) Who they think they are and 2) Who everyone else thinks they are. Become friends first, take that leap, it does suck but sometimes it's very necessary (been there done that) even if you pretendbyou need help with some type of project inside or even outside of school. Make a fundraiser over the summer, ask a group of people to help out including him, or make a group chat or page or something about a commonality that most of the kids in your community enjoy over the summer. As great as it is to meet someone who is opposite to you it's just as nice to have common interests as well. This way if you end up in a relationship with him you'll want o be sure you're not bored and neither is he if you don't enjoy the same things. As for chances, I would say you have as much of a chance as you're willing to work at it. It really depends on what style you're looking into getting his attention and what type of person you are. Flirtatious? Good girl? Outgoing? Spontaneous? Etc... Let me know I may very well be able to help but focus on whyvyou are first. YOU are the most important person in your universe and nobody can ever change that.
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hi hope you can help me i'm a 15 year old male i'm a devout christian i love god with all my heart and i wanna be a better christian and devote my life to god i want to help people to get closer to god i wantto start to spread god's word i'm a bit nervous not sure where to start but i want to start talkinhg to people about god maybe start with people that i know not sure how do i go about it? (link)
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This can be tough, I think you should go with your gut but maybe start off with those you trust, and know. I do know that if you do this there will be more than many who will reject you. Can you deal with rejection? If you can then, go for it! Do what enlightens you.
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ive been pretty depressed for a while... i got my first bf in feb. 2014 and we broke up last week. also my frinds started fighting and hating eachother. i lost my only 5 frinds that i had made since 1rst grade. i started getting bad grades on my report cards and im getting made fun of for it. im just 10 years old but i cut myself and hav suicidal thoughts... please give me advice. (link)
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Life is not over yet, the beauty of it is you can choose however many new beginnings you want. There are no rules telling you that you aren't allowed to start over. Friends come and unfortunately they go as well. But being so you you will have so many more opportunities to make new friends, school, work, when you have your very own apartment or house there are so many things you can do that will help your social life too. Whenever you feel down in the dumps, try doing something kind for someone else. It will turn negative thoughts into positive ones and helping other people will surely put some good luck into your life. As for school, don't be afraid to speak with your teacher for extra work or tutoring and if you have a mountain of homework to catch up on always start with the stuff that's due first and then if you have time afterwards do what's been due the longest. Never try to do it all in one shot, even stay in during recesses to show the teacher you are trying. My brother had the same problem and he is going into high school next year. We fixed it. Always tell yourself when you feel low, "this is not the end. Life goes on and things will not be like this forever." Always try your hardest to look at the bright side of things. If your friends left you, they don't know what they're missing and maybe they aren't your forever friends if they're gone because of something you can't control, just know there's a better script out there and you're the lead role. This life is yours so grab it by the horns and smile young one. There is so much yet to learn of the world and I even find that I learn new things every day. You can talk to me if you ever need to.
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Personally, I have been very miserable all of my life. I have suffered from OCD as long as I can remember. I moved from New York to Florida when I was five years old. It was very traumatic for me. I have tried to commit suicide, but I just ended up in a mental institution. I do see a psychiatrist, but she does not help me. In fact, I only see her for the medication. I am absolutely miserable right now, especially with my job. I decided that I will no longer give any types of hints about suicide because I don't want to end up in a mental institution again. That did nothing to help me. I am going through preparations (getting my house ready, cleaning, trying to pay off bills). (link)
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I find this to be as much of a statement than a question. I understand mental illness, it runs in my family. Hope is not lost. I cannot tell you anything because you will be the one who ultimately makes the final decision. However, you giving me a statement as such, makes me hurt. I don't want to be the only one, or last one who knows of your suicidal thoughts. I wish I could say something to you, to help you realize you are part of something much larger than life itself. You are the master of your universe and leaving now would only destroy your amazing story. You, as dismal as you may believe your part in this world is, affect more people than you think. Take myself for example. You are personally erectifying this projection of an individual to me, that individual being yourself. I may even speak of your situation to my husband, for support because now you've created a rope between us and I want you to hold on. The world is connected in various ways and as vast and huge as it may seem, the world is truly smaller and more connected than you think. You are important, you've touched more people than you realize and to be grateful even though life has thrown you fast balls that you weren't prepared to hit, it goes on. I won't tell you people have it worse because nobody knows how you feel in this moment. You are truly brilliant, and I know this because through your letter I see you are educated, self aware (which many people lack), hopeful (otherwise you wouldn't have put this out into the world) and there is always hope, in fact, my middle name is actually Hope. Coincidence?
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Hi solidadvice4teens, I am not looking to start a fight. I am not a person who likes arguing. However, after reading your reply to my post I will not keep my thoughts about it to myself. Again, I am not replying to insult you in any way. With that in mind, first of all, let me tell you that in the past I have suggested to my current psychiatrist that she wean me off meds. She said exactly what you said. Was she right? Yes, for the most part yes. Adding onto that, at the beginning of your response you stated that you agreed with adviceman49. Saying that you are both right whether I like it or not. You both are PARTIALLY correct I say partially because you both assumed I was feeling mentally stable while on meds. There is a reason why I suggested to my psychiatrist that she wean me off meds. All those years I had been on them I never felt they truly helped me as much as they sedated me and I have been on loads of different cocktails of drugs. They have all been the same. They all dumb me down tremendously. Psychiatrists have tried prescribing me a smaller dose, changing the medicine altogether to a more "effective/modern" drug but the fact that I was drugged out, to the point of not knowing what I was really doing, on antipsychotics has never changed. Abilify was the last drug I was on and I do admit it was the most helpful one. Not 100% or even 80% either.(As my psychiatrist says the pill is the miracle worker, it does 80% of the work and you only have to do 20% of it). I was on it for four years and it was never the miracle worker my psychiatrist said it would be. Now, you also suggested I visit an emergency room. Why would I go to such an extreme? Doing that would surely result in me getting a 51/50. I have a tight work schedule, if I am gone for even 1 day without notice I would surely lose my job and if I told my employer to let me off the hook because I was in a mental hospital he would surely not sympathize. Not to mention how intense it would become at home with my own family members giving me looks of disapproval and disappointment or even amusement because of my mental "weakness". Adding on to that I was hospitalized when I was about twenty one twice in the time span of one month. I must say the psychiatrist there was horrible, HORRIBLE and the employee's were awful as well. They either hated their jobs or loved their jobs because the patient's crazy behavior entertained them. This is no lie, I got a rash on my face while I was hospitalized because a negligent nurse didn't tell me how to properly use a prescription acne face wash. Yet another thing that sparks my curiosity about what the psychiatry and drug industries true intentions are. Why would they give me a prescription for my acne when that has nothing to do with my mental health. Also, because I was put on so many drugs that had potential increased appetite/weight gain listed as side effects I was eating A LOT. I gained twenty pounds in ONE WEEK. That is ridiculously fast weight gain. They had no problem with serving me three meals in one sitting. That was extremely hazardous to my health. The way everything played out while I was there steers me into believing they were milking my health insurance for all it was worth. In conclusion, adviceman49 suggested I keep a note on my fridge to remind myself that I feel okay because of medications. If you took your time to read this which, I know, ended up being really long you now know that was never the case and also never will be. If I have managed to stay even slightly productive it has mostly been because of my own will. As a teenager I honestly thought they were helping me but I realize now that some of the craziest and most destructive things I have done in my life were done when I was on meds. I completely agree that my mind isn't average. Possibly even inferior and defective but one thing I don't agree with is psychiatry's approach to people like me. My last words may be shocking and insulting to either one or both of you: I am back on my meds. After all these years of being on if go off them my mind becomes too much to handle. It is bad when I am on them but worse when I am not. I hate being overly sedated. Most people see right through it and view me as slow and mentally impaired and I have never in my right mind told anyone other than family and psychiatrist's about my diagnosis. If anything those drugs that you refer to as meds. have done nothing good but turn me into their slave. I know 100% deep down that if the first psychologist I saw didn't order me to take drugs and would have stuck to therapies and counseling my situation in the long run would have been much better. I am not stating everything that has to do with psychiatry is bad but MOST psychiatrist's are and the pharmaceutical industry most definitely is. (link)
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I am confused with this? I gave you advice?
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I sent a few nudes to a guy I met online and he's sent me money in return for them and now he's blackmailing me saying if I don't send him something else then he'll post all my pics on the internet.. Is there anything I can do to stop him? Can the police do anything? (link)
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Well, how old are you and how old is the man you sent the photos to? I believe the police can get involved regardless however if you are a minor, I feel they would get involved ten fold. Unfortunately if you don't try explaining your situation to the police you will never know what will happen. Everyone makes mistakes and hopefully you can learn from yours. Good luck!
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So I had been a Wiccan for months, and my dad had the bad idea of it. That every Wiccan was a witch. That witches are evil. That the Horned God is associated with Satan because he has horns/antlers. I have never felt comfortable in Christianity, but felt comfortable in Wicca, like I was 100% safe and nothing would ever hurt me. I'll be turning 18 in a few months. Should I just light candles in my room, try to tell the Horned God that I'm sorry and that I'll move in with my friend when I turn 18 and become a Wiccan again? (link)
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I am delighted to see you are looking for my advice however, I am not very knowledgable when it comes to religion. I was born Catholic however we were never pressed to practice the religion. I feel what I'm about to tell you won't be much help - as log as you are living at home, unfortunately your parents have the last word. I feel that the best decision for you would to stick it out at home, if you truly believe in what you practise maybe have a sit down with your dad, be calm with him. Avoid saying things that sound like blame. Just explain how you feel about it, tell him what you know and that maybe he should show an interest in your life so he knows more about how you're growing up into an adult. Try making him feel that you want him in your life and your religion or however you perceive it is also part of you and it makes you who you are. But like I said be calm, respectful to his word, this will ultimately avoid argument. Also, there is one very important thing you must know and I think everyone should know this for that matter, no one can change anybody else. No matter if they believe they have, the person who's mind, habit or addiction that changes for the better or worse is solely up to the person themselves. So basically, if your father disagrees with you by the end of your calm sit down explanation, tell him that you understand where he is coming from, it is ok to be afraid of what we do not know, and that you hope the two of you can come to an agreement in the future. :)
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can kissing and fingering causes late periods
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Anytime your body goes through a big change (after you have already gotten your period for the first time) it can cause late periods. This includes the "love bug" or increase in sexual drive as your hormones are going crazy especially if it is your first time experiencing them. Stress and worry also cause late periods. I would go to a doctor ultimately as no one can diagnose the cause of a late menstrual cycle better than a physician. I myself have endometriosis which means I have cysts on one of my ovaries cause dysmenorrhea (sever pain during my menstruation - TMI?) but there are a lot of factors that can cause late periods is basically what I am saying. And so, yes if it is your first time being sexually active it can even slow the menstruation cycle and move it further. However like I said I would go see a doctor and consider birth control, it not only prevents pregnancy, it regulates your period, reduces acne and balances your hormones. I hope this helped, be safe. Always use a raincoat!
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Here's a picture of me: http://i.imgur.com/e2uF7w6.jpg
I have a stupid haircut and i don't look good.
I have no idea what hairstyle would look good for me, but could someone tell me what hairstyle would look best with my face? Every time I've asked this, people have just made fun for how I look; I know I'm ugly, but I just want legitimate advice as to what would look good for me. (link)
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Ok well first off your haircut is not that bad - I have seen worse, secondly - you're not ugly and thirdly - it's hair, so the great thing is it grows back! :) I suggest for the time being cut the top a bit shorter so it's not too fly away, and high. Also you won't have to keep up with maintenance. Then just let your hair grow out, cutting the top little by little until your hair is basically all the same length. I'm not sure what kind of hair you have just judging by the photo - thick, thin, curly, straight, wavy etc... But maybe keep it simple next time. The same cut only longer around the sides and shorter on the top. :) I don't know - the other best thing is rock the do you have and be confident! It's not horrible.
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What qualifies someone to give advice on this site? (link)
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There really are no specific qualifications. However, I believe that the more life experience in certain areas and/or education of specific areas are a good start to giving good advice. Also, I believe that a person who gives GOOD advice allows the one who is asking the questions, to figure out the answers on their own. I do not believe in telling people what to do, then the blame game gets played only too often. Other than that, I hope this helped :).
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My father took everything of value and left us.
My mother is mentally ill and now has no insurance(so she's off her pills).
My sister is a major suck up to our mother(Favorite child).
Were stuck in an Extended Stay hotel and,its sucking up all the income we have.We have tried all "free" places for medicine and help.But our income is too high,but its not enough for us to live on.
I barely make $150 a week from my job and, its considered part time.I'm at my job all day from 10AM to 4PM and,they don't consider it full time.So because of the time and all the work,I can't get a 2nd job.We have no car,so we take the public city bus everywhere(which is $1.50 there and back per person).
My problem is my mother.She's always been an mental abuser and only to me.She says that "I'll never be anything","I'll never go to college,and even if I did I'd fail it","Ill never be anything in life,or have a husband let alone a boyfriend"... That was just this week.
She said that to me because I told her to "hold on one moment" while I was filling up water bottles,and she wanted me to look for a phone number for her.It only took 2 minutes and I couldn't look away or I'd have water on the floor.
My sister is a major suck up to our mother.She sides with her even when moms wrong.She won't stick up for anyone and can't even keep a job that long.she keeps calling out at work and lying to them about why.I tell her to quit it and I get screamed at by mom (mom encourages her to call out).
Right now I got no friends,because I don't have time.I got no other family to go to,and right now mother plans on leaving with my sister.They plan to go to grandma's and I can't come.she made that clear.Were all old enough to be on our own,but we weren't ever encouraged or pushed to go on our own.Our mother was one of those ones that did everything for you,even when you didn't want her to (tried getting her to stop,but that only made her mad and she'd guilt me into letting her).
So where do I go?Do I leave my job and beg my deadbeat dad to go,live with him in another state?
Or do I take my chances on the street?If I do that I lose everything I own. (link)
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Hi, your question and story are very touching. Under the circumstances... I am from Canada so I don't quite know the legal system or welfare system in the US however, depending on your age - if you are legally able to move - I recommend it. You do not need to go through the mental and emotional abuse both your sister and your mother put you through. I have just been in a recent situation where I had to watch my family fall apart and my own mother locks herself in her room and "gives up on being a mother" to her three kids currently staying at home. I am 23 so I live in my own home with my boyfriend. I understand it is difficult, trust me. I'm not sure if you voice your opinion or stand up to your mother but that is what I did and it didn't get me anywhere really. I have lost touch with both her and my abusive father - not that I really care - but in doing so I gained full trust, respect and the leadership role that was never instilled in my family by my parents - and my siblings and I stay very close. What I am saying is you have many options that you can choose from to be a better person and whatever works for you; you will find it. Every decision you make will lead up to where you're supposed to be - so, that being said - forgiveness and gratitude are the utmost important things in our lives. Your mother is mentally ill - forgive her for being an emotional night are yet THANK her and be grateful for being aware of what you never want to become. Thank her for raising you to be nothing like her and then move on. Be honest with your work - ell them it is very crucial to your health and safety that you require a full-time position even if it is temporary until you can find another job. Being honest with people will make you feel good too. If that doesn't work - call your father, speak to him - stay calm and find out why he left and took everything. Parents will use their kids as buffers meaning the anger or hatred they have for their spouse will bounce off onto the kids literally brainwashing them. Also, think of the legal stand point. Maybe your dad recognized that you and your sister can legally live on your own, leave the abusive relationship at your current situation and be free of negativity. Perhaps he was hoping that you would do the same and be responsible for yourselves? I am only making suggestions here. I believe in always having a way out. Look into apartment buildings, being a superintendent - free rent, but you got to know how to change a lightbulb :P. or perhaps moving somewhere to start fresh. Save up what you can, if you can legally rent a car - do it. Drive until you find the place you want to be then apply for welfare until you can establish yourself with an apartment and good job. Look into shared housing so the rent is split is a lot cheaper. I am not telling you to run away but it is possible to make your life without the help from your parents. If you're old enough, as in legal age to be on your own - then why would you want to depend on others all the time? It's much more gratifying to get something done all by yourself. Chin up - I know what it's like to live with someone who has a mental illness and you feel like walking on eggshells all the time. Do what is right for you. I believe you're strong enough, you're in a bad situation and yore still alive. Go you! :) just keep moving forward. I hope I gave you some insight, I would like to stay posted but it's your choice, your life. Good luck!
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Which do you think is weirder ? A close guy friend that cuts and files my nails and toes nails or a close guy cousin that cuts and files my finger and toe nails ? Or are they both weird ? (link)
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Perhaps it is uncommon to some however my boyfriends have all done this for me too haha. I asked them of course, but I find that it gave them a something to do, and men are all doers and helpers. It's their natural instinct. They could have seen it as a way to help you out. Haha. Or maybe we re just lucky ladies with nice hands and feet ;) - unless you're a guy then you're on your own on that one. lol.
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Lately, I have been having a gut feeling that my husband may be big curious or even gay. In the very beginning of our relationship (been married almost three years together almost 4yrs.) He admitted that when he was younger a friend and him were playing around and the friend ended up giving him a Blow***. I asked him then if he was gay or if he would do it again. He said no. Keep that in mind. A few months back my husband his friend and I started going to the gym. My husband is a man who is in and out of the shower, 7 minutes top! Every time the two went in there they would take ATLEAST 30 mins. I take long showers I would take one myself in the girls room and would still have to wait. I have asked my husband and he said he would just wait for him. Now his friend on the other hand, let's just say if you met him you would think he had sugar in his tank. I live in a small country town and my female friend said her husband had sex with a man before. People in this town including his family say he may be gay or curious as well. For a week now my husband and I are not talking, because I feel like I am being lied too when I ask him if he is gay or bisexual. I can work with bisexual, I just want to know so we can both have safe sex. He still says NO. I don't want to think that I am over thinking everything but I don't want to end up like my husbands mother, lied to and turn out that my husband is bisexual or gay. IDC what he is, I just want to know. I have told him how I felt and how its okay to like other men. I just don't know anymore. I won't let my husband touch me nor look at me because I feel like I am being lied too. I even talked to his friend and asked in a mature matter. I was not disrespectful nor did I just pop the question are you gay? Or what's going on with my husband and you. I explained my reasons first then asked. His friend says he's not gay. (link)
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I dated a gay man for four years... If your intuition speaks to you, it speaks to you. The man I was with didn't show any signs that he was gay when we were together, sex life was great, got along, we were happy. He wanted to marry me and the whole shebang... He denied it until I broke up with him, and even then it took him a year to come out. He went through the same thing as your husband in his childhood. I'm not an expert but I have been through this scenario before.
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I havnent been able to sleep very well for the past week, and when I do it's maybe 5 hours a night with me waking up every 45 minutes in that time span. What should I do to get some sleep? (link)
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If you have a tv or any other electronics in your room - take them out, I can't stress this enough, even if it is off you need to remove it. If you enjoy tea, have some peppermint and especially chamomile tea will help almost like a natural sleeping pill. Read a book, a real book. Make sure your room is free of clutter a messy room calls for depression and lack of sleep due to the subconscious irritation it develops. Lavender scent spray on your pillow. Have a nice temperature room, cold rooms cause nightmares. Clean your sheets and bed spread and pillows. Nothing calls for a greater nights sleep when your room looks good and your bed feels nice to sleep in. Go for a walk before bed about an hour, or some other type of exercise. Do a puzzle before bed, it will make your eyes tired, and most of all listen to your body when you are tired. You will know, so stop fighting it. If you put your phone away, laptop, tv, ipod, whatever, out of your room It will make a difference. TURN OFF THE LIGHTS. :). If you need a night light, which there is nothing wrong with that, find something that glows softly, or get fish. A fish tank with a light will sooth you and help you relax. I also listen to relaxation hypnosis or ASMR before bed which makes me sleepy as well...A trick I do (this is going to sound weird) because I have a very hard time sleeping as well, once you're in bed, raise one of your arms in the air, and leave it there as long as you can, with your eyes closed. It is weird but helps me. Also if you take a nice shower or bath before bed and rinse with a few seconds of cold water, you will want nothing more than to warm up in your bed and the warmth with rush through your body making you feel tired as well. I hope you got some ideas?
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I am going on a date to the beach with a girl. I am looking for some suggestions of food to bring since I wont be able to heat it up. Something surprising! She doesn't yet know I am planning a picnic for dinner. Please and thanks! (link)
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Watermelon for sure, already sliced of course... or a homemade fruit salad for dessert. Maybe some kind of crackers, cheese and dip spread, pickles, olives like a platter of stuff... think finger snacks - nothing complex you don't want sand in your food! You could even do veggie wraps without the dressing and just bring it on the side - quick and easy. Jug of lemonade, and water to keep hydrated. Hope I gave you some ideas? :) Have fun!
ou know what, I thought of chocolate covered strawberries after I meesaged you and I didn't know if you were legal drinking age :P good luck.
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Hi I'm 13, can I get my birth mark lasered? I have a really embarrassing birth mark on my the end of my butt, I can where regular swimsuit bottems because it shows. Do u think I can get it lasered, how much will it cost, or am I too young? Ps I've talked to my mother about it
Please help!! (link)
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Always love your body child. I would have another serious talk with your mother if I were you. Really tell her, how it upsets you. Ultimately your Mother will make the decision for you as you are a minor and have basically no legal rights to make your own decisions until you turn 18. However, maybe tell her you will even save up by taking up a babysitting job or something to help out. When you speak to her, be serious, do not get into a fight over it, and tell her that you want to have a grown up conversation because you need her adult advice.
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Dear Vikki
I'm 24 and from South Africa. I have been in a relationship for almost 7 months now and before that we were only friends. I love him a lot and care about him a lot, but at times I feel that my insecurities gets in the way and it ends up in us having an argument about something small and stupid. See we have a long distance relationship at the moment and it is mostly when he cannot have decent conversation at night because his busy and then I start thinking "maybe he doesn't want to talk to me" , "maybe he doesn't find me interesting anymore and he will leave me for someone else" and I do know that he cares for me a lot and that he loves me and as soon as I think I have these feelings under control, it creeps in again. I don't want to lose him, because I was insecure and clingy. I never was like this in the beginning. I was cheated on before and most of the times it is when I'm away from him, when we are together, I don't have it and because of this it makes things hard for me. I care about people real fast and they can actually hurt me with words. How do I get past this? How can I get past my insecurities and not be clingy when I feel like these emotions are creeping in? I'm not jealous when it comes to being his girlfriends, because I know what type of guy he is. I know he will never cheat on me, but because I don't always see myself as beautiful, I'm sometimes afraid he will leave me for someone more beautiful than me. The guy that cheated on me used to say to me, that I shouldn't think that someone can love me, because there feelings will change. I was so deeply hurt.
Is there any advice you can give me? Guess I'm just looking for someone to talk to that I don't know personally!
Thanks!
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Hello :)
First off I must say long distance relationships are a very complicated thing. I believe that even though you say you have insecurities due to a past relationship and from self destructive images of how you feel about your beauty - not knowing what he is doing, or spending little to no time with your man is a very difficult thing to add to your insecurities. As harsh as this sounds, I believe that everyone, including YOU is deserving of a love with no boundaries. From personal experience - if he tends to turn things around on you, doesn't speak much about himself, has a very short temper when you confront him about something or when you put yourself in need - he very well may be lying or hiding something from you. Also NEVER ignore your intuition, women are born with intuition - that is why we bare children and are the caregivers because we can sense when something is right and when something is wrong. You must give in to your feelings and put yourself first. Always put yourself first. If he has a very short temper and is aggressive I highly recommend you remove yourself from the relationship - you do not need a toxic person in your life and if you stay too long you will only become a hostage of a relationship that he never wanted to be a part of. I am not sure if I am making sense to you and I really do not want to be hard on you, I have had experience in abusive relationships and I know first hand what it is like to see someone get sucked into a bad relationship and stay with a monster - not everyone can be strong but you need to try. Of course, that is only if he is aggressive to you in any way. Also, if you notice tat he accuses you of doing things, calls you names, makes excuses - it is a projection of what he does, or thinks about but to put you down takes the attentions off of him. Arguing is perfectly healthy, but if it is constant and about small things, maybe a re-evaluation of the relationship needs to be taken. I have an exercise that I like to do: Pros and Cons for change and no change - change and no change being whatever you choose (stay in the relationship vs leave the relationship, take a break vs don't take a break, Tell him how you feel vs staying quiet etc...) The next steps are simple - you rate out of 4 (1 being not important to you and 4 being important to you) each single reason you have put for pros for change, Pros for No change, Cons for change and Cons for no change. Then you add the numbers up for all the pros for change PLUS the numbers for Cons for no change and make a total, and do the same for Cons for change and pros for no change. Whatever the bigger number should point you in the right direction. No matter what don't lose sight of yourself, you have a beautiful soul, a beautiful mind, you were made the way you are for a reason and there are billions of people on the planet I am 110% positive that there is more than one person who would fall in love with you and show you how much you mean to them and what a wonderful being you are, inside and out. I hope I have helped you in some way. :)
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I'm female and 18, thin build, 5'4" with 113-114lbs. I'm going to start college soon and I found out that there's a Dance Team. In high school I was in basically the only dance team there was but from 11th to 12 th grade nobody had time for it anymore so it pretty much got cancelled. I'm not an expert, I can do expert flips, splits, or any sort of acrobatic move. However I really love to dance, and I think it would be fun to audition even if they don't pick me. The thing is... they have a lot of requirement I can't comply to: experience (being in a four year dance team that only performed once a year couldn't really be called experience), recommendation note (I never had a teacher nor a coach, we were just independent kids who wanted to have fun and show everybody our inner talents in a school where mathematics and sciences were everything), jazz shoes, sneakers for hip hop (I dance with whatever I have or barefoot and all I have are my converse which I love, slippers and a pair of what you could and couldn't call ballerina slippers), and it has to be only contemporary, lyrical and street jazz. There were other requirements but those weren't hard for me (black clothing, punctuality, a 1min routine, etc). Now I like jazz a lot... but I'm a little out of shape and any of those types of jazz require a lot of flexibility that I currently don't possess. The one good thing about me is that I can always learn steps quite quickly and when it's hip hop especially I really get my groove on. I'm just wondering, is there any chance they would even consider me with those things I lack that in pretty sure other dancers will have? If so, is it worth all the trouble or should I just forget about it? (link)
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Always chase your dreams and aspirations. If you love something do not let it slip away. Who knows what the outcome will be - it sounds as if you have some pretty heavy qualifications and I wouldn't be afraid if I was you. I believe that you should go for it. Never give up. At least you can say that you have tried, and you won`t regret doing nothing and watching someone else take this opportunity from you. Be fearless and show it through your audition - good luck! :)
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My boyfriend and I are in our mid-twenties and have been together for almost 2 years. One day about 4 months ago, I got a very weird feeling, like instinctively I knew something wasn't right. He left his phone in the kitchen while he was in the bedroom taking a nap. I tried not to let myself stoop so low as to go through his phone, but I couldn't take it any longer and gave in. I found messages to 2 other girls. He was being very flirty with them, saying things like "we should hang out soon" and telling them how beautiful they were. I was so furious I packed my things and left, and drove a couple hours away to stay with a friend.
Up until that day, he had given me no reason not to trust him. I think I was having a moment of insecurity. We got back together a couple weeks after that, after I let him explain himself and I felt like he really did care about me. He said that he had only texted those girls after he had been drinking, which he knew wasn't as excuse, but his lapse in judgement would subside once morning came. And his excuse made sense; the texts would start late at night and end after just a few responses. He claimed it gave him an ego boost. I don't think he has ever actually cheated on me in the physical sense, but my feelings were still incredibly hurt.
When I decided to take him back, it was because I simply WANTED to be with him. We have so much fun together and rarely even fight... We have talked about marriage and other future plans. I felt in my heart that I could trust him and actually, our relationship has been better ever since. But lately I've started getting that bad feeling again. Many times I have wanted to snoop through his phone, but I have refrained. When we got back together, I promised myself I would not throw his past mistakes back in his face. Clean slate.
I want so badly to put these thoughts behind me since he has been so good to me, but I'm having trouble forgetting the past. I want to communicate with him and tell him how I'm feeling, but I don't want him to think that I'll never be able to get over the past. How do I resolve these feeling of insecurity and mistrust without discouraging him? (link)
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Take a plate, smash it, now say "Sorry" to it. DO all the pieces glue themselves back together. That in a sense, as sad as it may seem, is the equivalent of our heart after someone has mislead us. I understand what you are going through but if you do not stand your ground, and make rules now you will only be a doormat in the continuing future. Make phone and computer times - let him know that you do not like it when he is on his cell when he is with you and you must reciprocate. Also, leave your phones out in the open more regularly, no passwords on anything. If you want to trust him then he must trust you right? In a relationship we get what we put into it, so that being said if there is a lost spark, bring it back. I find with a lot of these questions here seeking for advice about relationships, people need to step out of the relationship and look at it through a window. You need to ultimately make yourself happy, and it is ok to be a passive person but not to the point where people are constantly doing you wrong and apologizing for it with no consequence. As I have said in multiple advice columns, make him want you. If he seems to stray, he may be looking for that different little edge to keep his, as you said, ego boosted. Show him what he would be missing if he ever screwed up. Try something new, always be yourself and always have fun. Sometimes all you need to wear is a smile. ;) Hope this helped a bit.
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Me and my bf have been together for almost 3 years and I'm 19 and he's 24 and we have a 1yr old son together. Our sex life has been pretty good but now he is always wanting oral and he doesn't wanna have sex with me even though he says he will but he just gets what he wants n that's it. Does anyone know why this is? Please help me out. (link)
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Ok well, maybe you're just really good at it haha, I am suspecting that perhaps things stay the same in the bedroom. As much as sex is sex, it's also a work of art. Try something new, make him ache for you, tease him by not giving it in to him when he wants it. Show him how seductive you can be. Sometimes all a relationship needs is another spark to be lit back up in the relationship.
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