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confused
Me and my bf have been together for almost 3 years and I'm 19 and he's 24 and we have a 1yr old son together. Our sex life has been pretty good but now he is always wanting oral and he doesn't wanna have sex with me even though he says he will but he just gets what he wants n that's it. Does anyone know why this is? Please help me out.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
At that age it is possible he is afraid of getting you pregnant again so he might just want to avoid intercourse altogether. However, if it is upsetting and affecting you, try being more intimate with him in the bedroom and do things to spice up your love life to make him want sex. If he still is denying you then just talk with him and express how your feeling. Communication is key.
~Best of Luck!
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Ok well, maybe you're just really good at it haha, I am suspecting that perhaps things stay the same in the bedroom. As much as sex is sex, it's also a work of art. Try something new, make him ache for you, tease him by not giving it in to him when he wants it. Show him how seductive you can be. Sometimes all a relationship needs is another spark to be lit back up in the relationship.
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You wrote to us back in May with the same basic question. As a moderator on this site I can look back and see questions from registered users such as yourself. This allows us to give continuity to our answers and better advice as we can follow your questions on a subject.
I said then that I felt the pregnancy was not planned and I still feel that way. I also said that I thought the BF was staying with you out of an obligation as the father of the child. Once again my feelings have not changed on that either though my reasoning why he is has.
Now I learn that you were 16 and he 21 when you started dating. This to me and others on this site is a big red flag. We will always question why and adult male will look to date such a young female. You must have conceived the baby while you were still under the age of 18.
If I'm correct this could put the whole situation in another light. When I said the obligation he felt to be a father to the child may be wrong. The obligation in staying with you out of wedlock may be a statutory obligation. Meaning you were in the eyes of the law in your state still a child and by law unable to give consent to sex. By getting you pregnant the proof that he had sex with you is there and he is open to a felony charge of sexual relations with a minor plus a charge of statutory rape.
Once again depending on the laws in your state these charges may only be brought against him for a certain amount of time and then they run out and he can no longer be charged. This brings me to the possible conclusion that the statutory limit for these law to no longer effect him is fast approaching. Generally speaking the limits on prosecution for most crimes except murder are three to five years.
The only advice I can offer right now given the conclusions I'm coming to is for you to protect yourself and the baby by seeing a Family Law Attorney. There are certain papers that you need to have drawn up and approved by the courts to insure that he continues to meet his obligations for child support in the future; regardless of what happens between you and him.
I'm sorry to say this but with the additional information you provided today I have to believe that what is happening between you two is his way of protecting himself from legal problems. The legal problems stem from him dating and getting an under age girl pregnant. As you approach the statute of limitations on these charges he may be looking to find away out of this relationship with you. Refusing to have sex with you is one way to start a relationship ending argument.
As I said I'm sorry I feel this way but this is the way I see things today. If you think I'm wrong write me back in a private message with your reasons why and I will address them and advise you further. Even if you feel I'm wrong; please see an attorney and have the proper paperwork done to protect you and the baby.
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