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Please excuse the hostile title of my question, but I am VERY angry right now. I want to warn you in advance that this writing might make me sound like a truly terrible person, but like I said, I'm extremely angry and fed up at the moment with my parents and my situation.
My parents have one of the worst marriages I've personally ever seen in my life. I don't understand why they ever got married in the first place or why they have stayed married for as long as they have. It's against our religion for them to get divorced, but there are many times that I feel like they, and the rest of our family, would be better off if they got separated or something. I don't think that's against their beliefs.
If I had to tell you everything wrong with their marriage, I'd be writing all night. There are numerous ways that my parents marriage sucks, but basically, they're distant, secretive, rude, verbally abusive, and vindictive. They spend entirely too much time apart, they leave each other out of things they do with their friends that they should do together, they keep secrets from each other, they call each other names that I've never called my worst enemy, and they do things just to make each other angry. Their marriage is constantly getting worse instead of better because when one of them gets angry at the other, instead of talking about it like normal people, they just get revenge on each other.
My parents scared me out of ever wanting to get married. I know they don't have a normal marriage and I know it's possible to get married and be extremely happy with your spouse, but even so, I just never could get up the guts to bite the bullet and commit my life to another person PERMANENTLY not knowing for certain what our marriage would look like one day. I am a Christian like my parents and if I did get married, I couldn't run to get divorced as quickly as some people do. I could get separated, but only if I was desperate and my husband and I would still be joined together legally. Also, the fact that I grew up watching my parents dysfunctional marriage and have never really, closely seen what a good marriage looks like kept me from having confidence in myself to know how to be a good wife and make a marriage work.
I always wanted a family, but when I kept chickening out of marriage, I decided just to have kids on my own using both IVF and adoption. I now have a large family that I'm raising by myself and I'm extremely happy with my life choices most of the time. But on occasion, I do feel sad that I don't have a husband and my kids don't have a dad. They have father figures, but not a legit dad in their lives. I feel bad about that, especially for the boys, but what can I do now? Who wants to marry a single mother raised in a dysfunctional family who doesn't even know what a healthy marriage looks like. Even if someone did, there's not a counselor in the world that could assuage my fears about marriage.
The reason I came here is that my parents are constantly putting me in the middle of their arguments and I get SICK OF IT!!! It's not FAIR!!! They get mad at each other for things I have nothing to do with and they make me take sides, help get revenge on each other, and bad mouth each other to other people. It SUCKS!!!
While I deeply love both of my parents, despite their flaws, and have a very close relationship with my Mother, my relationship with my dad hasn't been good since I was twelve. We've been very distant and we both hate that. We try to work on it, but every time we seem to be getting closer, something happens and our relationship goes straight to hell again.
So over the past six or seven months, my parents have been working on remodeling their house. The first thing they did was remodel the bathroom my sister and I used to share. They took out that bathtub that used to be in it and put in a shower in it's place. I use that shower when I can because it's by far the nicest and one of the most spacious showers I've ever used.
Two weeks ago tomorrow, I was using that shower and when I opened one of the two glass sliding doors, said door fell and shattered. It apparently wasn't put on right. Both of my hands were badly cut up. I had a cut in my finger on my right hand that went all the way down to the bone and the glass took two big chunks of skin out of my left hand that required stitches. I had a cut on my foot and one my left arm that was DIRECTLY OVER all of the veins and arteries in that arm that can kill you if you cut them open. The whole thing scared me to death. I was very sore for over a week and although I've been feeling better and healing fast, I temporarily lost some of the feeling in the finger that was cut all the way down to the bone and I fear I might be anemic from the blood loss. That probably sounds a little dramatic, but I lost a lot of blood, more than you'd think, and I was also on my menstrual cycle at the time. I've been having symptoms of anemia since then.
I was afraid my dad was going to be angry about what happened. I was scared he was gonna scold me and make me buy a new door. I was a little scared that he would even ban me from his and my mom's house. Instead, he was nothing but worried and sympathetic towards me. He wanted to look at my hands and arm, he asked me how bad the whole thing scared me, he gave me a couple very big hugs. He couldn't have cared less about the door. It was the closest I'd felt to him in a long time. It was one of the rare moments when my dad shows me how much I mean to him and it meant a lot to me.
We've been tight since then, but tonight, my mom almost screwed the all of that up. You see, on Saturday, I wanted to take my kids to see the new Beauty and the Beast movie and my mom said that she'd like to come. I found out that she told a lie to keep my dad from knowing where we were going out of fear that he'd come along if he knew. My dad has since found out where we went and that we'd left him out of something he'd have probably enjoyed and I feel bad about that. I didn't know my mom was going to lie to him like that. I should've invited him myself, but I didn't realize how much he'd have wanted to come. I didn't think he'd like the movie. Even as an adult, I loved it, but it is still a kids' movie and a musical, so I assumed my dad wouldn't want to come, but apparently he would and now I feel like sh!t.
That incident with the shower door happened two weeks ago and today was the third time that my dad had promised to go to the closest home depot an hour away and get a new shower door. He didn't do so and my mom wanted me to confront him and be a b!tch to him thinking that he'd get it done faster if I did. Thing is, my dad and I have been getting along great lately and after the whole thing with the movie, I was scared that he already wasn't happy with me. If I went and was an @as hole to him about the shower door, then he might explode on me and our whole relationship would go south again. Especially since I was the one who broke the door.
I went to politely ask him about the door, but when he was really sweet to me and we talked for a minute, leading me to realize that he wasn't angry with me, I lost my nerve to say anything that could anger him. My mom kept pushing me though so eventually I mentioned it to him, but it didn't help much. He was perfectly sweet about it, but didn't sound like he had gone to indeed home depot and I failed to light a fire under him like my mom wanted me to. This is not a good example of one of my parents putting me in the middle of an argument, but it's what prompted me to come here.
My mom is furious with me for not standing up to my dad and telling him off about the door like she wanted me to. She brought up the times I have stood up to my dad when it was for myself and accused me of not caring enough to do it for her. I explained to her that the rare times I've had the backbone to stand up to my dad, it was because he provoked me to do so, but he didn't provoke me today. I also explained that even if I had more of a backbone, my dad didn't deserve to be berated for the door today. Yes, he should've gotten it like he promised my mom, but he had a pretty busy day and I don't understand why it's such a big deal anyway. There's another shower and a bathtub in the house. My mom does like to use the new shower, but not often it's not like it's the only place in the house to bathe.
This is what I'm sick of. My choices tonight were to either be a jerk to my dad and ruin how well we've been getting along lately or to not be a jerk to my dad and make my mom mad at me. My parents do this to me all the time. They put me in the middle and make it so I can't possibly get out of the situation without making at least one of the mad at me. My mom acknowledges that she puts me in this position. She says flat out that I have to choose between her being mad or my dad being mad at me. I've tried to tell them that I'm not getting in the middle of anything, but that tends to make BOTH of them mad me.
It's really not fair because I have done nothing to get myself in these situations. I didn't cause my parents to have such a disaster of a marriage, I don't cause their arguments, I don't cause myself to be put in the middle of their arguments. I have no options. It's either p!ss my mom off or p!ss my dad off. Their are no other options.
The only other thing I can think of that I could do is to stop being around my parents, but that is not an option. I love both of my parents very much and could never alienate them from my life.
Super sorry this has been such a long writing, but I just wanted you to know everything you might need to know about the situation. Does anyone have any advice? (link)
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So.....this is exactly what I went through with my parents and I have to say I keep them at a distance because some people do never really change their old ways. You as an adult and as there daughter need to just find a way to keep a bond with them individually and together as a family outing . It's mentally stressful and you have a family of your own and they need functioning grandparents and sometimes in life when things don't work out the way you want you need to find alternatives of how you're are going to be happy wether it's with them or not it is not healthy to be in the middle and I believe you need a break .
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im girl 17,i told my classmate(boy) who is also my crush in the concrete i gave him a note, saying i like him..two days later, i asked him to talk about it bc he didnt give any respond and i wanted to how he feels ,during school,i asked him if we could go and talk somewhere private , he said it is nice that i told him about my feelings for him,he also told me that he know how hard it must´ve been for me to hide my feelings from him.then he said he doesnt have time for relationship bc he has activites besides school (he plays guitar, he dances)and also he told me he firstly wants to develop more spiritually..(if that makes sense) bc we go to catholic church ,and then he hugged me saying that we should continue to be friends and then i deleted him from my friends on fb during summer holidays bc i was always checking if he is online.now is new school year and he found out i removed him from my friends on fb, and he texted me why i did that, and if he did something wrong he is sorry , i told him i did it bc it hurts me and that i dont want to be friends, and he said it´s ok, i thought it would hurt less, but it hurts me more ,now i ignore him bc i dont know how to act to him..he sent me friend request on fb but i didnt accept it yet..he was good friend to me before i told him about my feelings..please help me should i be his friend again or not? if yes what should i tell him,why i suddenly accepted his friend request on fb,and also today is his birthday, should i wish him happy birthday even i removed him from my friends??..thanks for help :) (link)
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Yesss wish him a happy bday although you may have a crush he was being really polite and said he doesnt have time .also ya both are really young so its always good to wait to when the time is right. If he asks you whats the change of heart say you just things happen :)
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My alcoholic mother neglected my education from age 5 by "unschooling" me (it's code for lazy parents who are too prideful to admit their failure in homeschooling) I'm going to be 18 next year and I've never been so depressed and hopeless.
I tried to motivate myself to catch up academically years ago, but it just made me too upset to even open a text book.
I have no idea what to do. I feel like I have no future. (link)
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You do have a future their are websites that can help as well aslo start from baby steps from the root and make your way up !! I too suck at studying but mootivation is the key to know you made it and youll be there . Nothing happens overnight is the effort you put in to achieve your goal. You got this rooting for you!
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I started my period and i have no clue what to do
I am only 11 and i have locked myself my room
By the way my mom wont be home all day tanks for reading please help (link)
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I hope by now you have grown comfertable with your period if you have any questions im back!:)
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I raped someone I want to turn myself in immediately. Tell me what I need to do. I need to be punished. I will not say how it happen and why. I can't make up any excuses. I was drunk but it doesn't change anything. The person who was hurt doesn't want to do anything and prefers to just forget and move on, but I can't . I need to be punished and I want to turn myself in. The person wouldn't have to worry about trial or publicity. I just need to know what I have to prepare for. (link)
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Jail . Forgive yourself you admit a wrong and you're turning yourself in. God already forgave you. I'm sorry it had to happen.
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Hello,
My boyfriend and I are 17 and 18 years old. We started a long distance relationship a little over six months ago. Back then, I was still a virgin and he knew that. However, a few months ago I cheated on him and lost my virginity to a guy I honestly had no feelings for. I was completely aware of what I was doing and I did it because I really just wanted to get it over with. I made sure there were no feelings attached. Now, the guy still chases after me, but I want no business with him, or any other guy rather than my boyfriend. I love him to death and really have no trouble remaining faithful. I realized it wasn't worth it and he's truly the only guy I ever want to be with. However, I know that he'll want to break up with me and his heart will be completely shattered if he knows. He keeps talking about how magical he wants my first time to be once we finally see each other again. And I believe it will be magical because it'll be with him. I don't want to lose him, but I do think he needs to know. I also don't think it's any conversation to have via phone/text/video. A close friend told me not to say anything '"cause there's no point". I know if we were in the same time zone it'd be easier to confess and try to win his trust back, but I have a serious disadvantage by not being able to daily demonstrate my true feelings towards him. I've thought of telling him in the far future, once we're living together, but I don't know how he'll feel about it after such a long time...
Also, I'm actually kind of glad I did it only because it was extremely painful, and he wasn't the one who caused that terrible experience. The guy was gentle, so it would've been bad either way. Should I tell him when we finally meet again? If so, should I do it as soon as possible, or do I give it some time? If I do choose to tell him, I know I probably shouldn't have sex with him until he's known, but I'm terribly scared of ruining the possibility of a future with him.
I'd appreciate any thoughts and advice,
Thank you. (link)
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He's going to be upset and you being partially responsible its up to him to figure out if he wants to forgive and get past this due to the fact its long distance now he might feel like theirs nothing to treasure unless to him it wasn't about the fact that you were virgin and he really loved you its going to shatter him and you can't do nothing about it whether you choose to remain silent and tell him later or suffer in guilt if you have a bond like no other your actions for doing that have to amount but cheating is just not right and I hope he knows and can see your lesson is learned. Fact are no one can actually tell if a girl is a virgin or not in fact many girls at young age pop their cherry on their own with certain movements etc. But anyways its up to you to decide when to tell him or if you're going to . Even if you wait honesty is always best.
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I feel scared to ask my parents for a snapchat facebook Kris even an instagram because of how over protective they are what should I do (link)
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dont do it yet . itll change everything .
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So I had been a Wiccan for months, and my dad had the bad idea of it. That every Wiccan was a witch. That witches are evil. That the Horned God is associated with Satan because he has horns/antlers. I have never felt comfortable in Christianity, but felt comfortable in Wicca, like I was 100% safe and nothing would ever hurt me. I'll be turning 18 in a few months. Should I just light candles in my room, try to tell the Horned God that I'm sorry and that I'll move in with my friend when I turn 18 and become a Wiccan again? (link)
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Noone.should should.choos your religion.its just that
Not everybody is open to every religion. If.it upsets your.dad.that much then.just respect his beliefs for now because you are at your parents house. Then yes when you are not there anymore you can.do your own thing.
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Here's a picture of me: http://i.imgur.com/e2uF7w6.jpg
I have a stupid haircut and i don't look good.
I have no idea what hairstyle would look good for me, but could someone tell me what hairstyle would look best with my face? Every time I've asked this, people have just made fun for how I look; I know I'm ugly, but I just want legitimate advice as to what would look good for me. (link)
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First of all why would they make fun of you you are a cutie
And usually kids have nothing better to do i think a regular haircut not bald would look great :) eventually you will get older and shouldn't care what anyone says trust me when someone likes you theyll like you for you.
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will god forgive me and will I still go to heaven when I follow through with what I'm about to do. I figure if I'm going to loose everything I'm going to loose it on my terms. I am going to jail for driving under suspennsion and I,m on disability and I'll loose everything I'm already living my life in a wheelchair from a motorcycle accident. I already have my mind made up (link)
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I say dont do it. Theres always a solution and death ill be the easy wayout and makes it even more tragic. Im hoping everything will comeout perfect .pls keeP me posted.
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So, I'm a 14 year old girl and I honestly can't cope with the way my parents tell me to live, I feel like I am trapped in my home and I can't do anything!
They have these rules that I cannot go on my iPad/phone until 8pm every night, even at weekends I'm not aloud to use them. They say I'm to antisocial and I need to get out more, I go almost everywhere with them! I do go to town with friends aswell. They won't let me out of my town, I live in Barnstaple, devon and I'm not even aloud to Exeter or Bristol to go on a shopping trip with friends which is only about 2 hours away. Also I'm not aloud to be friends with a few people I know, one of them because there is a rumour going around that her mum is a prostitute and the other one who is my best friend and I still hang out with her secretly because she said something rude on Facebook like 2 years ago! It annoys me how I can't be friends with who I want to be friends with. My parents won't let me go out after school and I always have to be back home at 4pm if I go anywhere, which means I can't go out in the evening or at night and have a laugh :(
They also won't let me use social networks other than Facebook and Twitter, I want to be able to use snapchat, Instagram and tumblr but I'm not aloud to have it on my phone, another thing is that my dad still reads my texts and my messages with friends online!!! I'm 14 and I literally have no privacy! It's really annoying I want to just tell him "no, I won't give you my phone" or just not tell him the lock to my phone but he always makes me! :(
This is really annoying me now how I feel like I am stuck with nothing to do and no privacy at all :(
Anyone know what I could do? (link)
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Mayb they are being a little.to over
Protective but its only cause their are alot of Th people with bad intentions and us girls as teens are very naive. U might not understand now but its good that they want you to be different although you feel leftout .maybe you can use your time and take up some classes. maybe they wnt you to invest your time in something positive that will.make you succed.
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I'm from Berlin, Germany. I can read and write English almost as well as anyone else. Recently I have lost my dear identical twin brother, tragically. My father doesn't seem to care much, he didn't even blink when he died but I can't stop feeling this hole. I feel lost now, and confused. I can't cry for some reason. I'm depressed and alone. My mother is with my brother and my father is always at the bar. So what can I do to ease this pain inside of me? (link)
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I\'m so sorry to hear of your lost honestly everyone.in your family is dealing with it in their own way and although your dads going to the bar he may.not be doing the best in dealing with it as well as your moms
Maybe you guys need to talk it out all together but if it is true that they don\'t care as much as you and you need to.talk about it as much as u want to.me even write.about it. But first step is talking about it even.maybe with ur mom first. You can keep me updated
Im here.
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Iv been dating my boyfriend for over a year &i am head over heels in love with him. I know this is immature and annoying to get anxiety over but everytime he watches porn I get such anxiety and mad at him. I try to hide it as best as I can. I know he should be allowed to do whatever and I don't want to control him in ANYWAY or tell him what he can or can't do but it makes me feel so bad. He never calls me pretty or gives me compliments so I get nervous when he's looking at other beautiful girls. If I told him I know he'd be mad I'm trying to tell him what to do. I feel bad for feeling this way but I can't help it. What should I do? Any advice is appreciated! (: thanks!!! (link)
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you should tell him how you feel because if youre not getting turned on by another guys parts cause you have eyes for him only then he should feel and be at the same level as you.you respect him so he should do the same and not just to change his habits for the hell of it but to change them for good cause he cares and loves you.those girls are disgusting and not important you are and if he cant see that then you need to open your eyes an realize he doesnt love you and is really immature
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My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 5 years. We are in our late 20s. I have an 7 year old son from a previous relationship and they get along great. My son even views him as a father. That is not even close to being an issue with us. Currently we can not go a month without having some petty blown up arguement. Wether it is about whats for dinner to who is going to drive. I have a very short temper when it comes to him and i dont know why.He can look at me wrong and it will put me in a bad mood. When i try to talk to him about why I may be short and rude at times to him it causes a whole other can of issues. Currently he is in school and will be graduating soon. I have been caring the weight of majority of the bills and also taking my son to and from school, practices, friend's house etc. I dont feel appeciated and slightly feel taken for granted. He will rebuke any of that and throw out examples of what he does to help, (picks up our son (occasionally), does dishes, and may make dinner a couple time a month) Please help! how can I commmunicate to my boyfriend that i feel this way without him being upset??? He is a man after all. Any of this hits his manhood/man pride. (link)
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i can totally understand where youre coming from youre carrying the load while he does simple easy things here and there that doesnt take out the stress and everything you take care of through out the weeks and because hes in school youre trying to be considerate but now youre going through mood swings feel irritable being with him and youre overwhelmed !!try to relax and have a talk with him be calm and see if he comes to and understanding of how stressed you feel .also if he can come to a conclusion on how things can change so that you wont be so stressed than he actually cares!!if not than hes being selfish we know school gets in th way you been holding things down but theres only so much weight you can take he needs to give you time for you . remember is better to b alone then to b with someone that doesnt make you happy thru out the years that youre also getting older.
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I am now 18 and my gf is 16.
Now it;s been 5 months since we started dating.And we've been really close and we ARE going good.But now there's something in my mind which has been a big problem for me.My gf used to have a FB account.But last December she deactivated it due to some issues with her parents.But she had recently activated it and it took like 1 week for her tell me what she did.But actually I have her password but she doesn't know that.And I've been checking her messages.She does have a lot of contacts with guys'not like me.It's not that I dont trust her but those guys they ve been like flirting with her.I know that she loves me alot too.Then recently she has given her mobile number to this guy who likes her and all.And then she told me that this guy has been texting with her.But she lied to me telling that she didnt give her number to him but somehow he has found it,But she did give him her number.I know that.Actually we are so in love.And we are crazy about each other.But still I have these problems too.I cant ask her about them too.But I ve told her once before about something else which came up before.sometimes I feel like she is totally different from the person who is with me when she is not with me'or when she is on the phone with me.Now I can't talk to her in the way I used to do with all these doubts.And when I see her messages I kinda get angry + jealous.So I need advice!.I mean how to react on this issue.(I dont think that I ll be able to talk to her about this) (link)
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I totally understand where you coming from. What I don't understand is why is she texting this guy if she knew that he was flirting with her and they probably text on the low. I don't think is fair to you cause you want to trust her and not seem obssesive but you don't want to get played and hurt. If she really loves youshe wouldn't hurt you talk to her about. It see how she reacts .
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We had a nice conversation last night.We shared our true feelings.First she was lil bit shy.But then I initiated the thing.She was like "I AM REALLY GLAD CAUSE I DIDNT LOOSE MY VIRGINITY THANKFUL TO MY GOOD HEARTED BF.I was like REALLY!!!!.It was damn good.But now we both have a serious issue.Now we miss each other a lot.Sometimes we don't even meet like once a week.So now its getting very hard.So I need some good advises how to control myself and how to concentrate on my school stuff when she is not around.Its now getting damn hard to stay without her. (link)
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im glad the convo went well :) but you guys both have to realize that sometimes distance is good. You guys dont live together yet so appreciate the time u guys r together but also appreciate the time that you guys are away fom eachother. Theirs so much love already and not being together makes it even better so when you see her you guys will have more to talk about and more love to share. Dont stress it. Skewl is very important and no matter how much love you can have for someone your education is important as well as hers she needs to also stay focus. So make sure that if shes feeling that way to always motivate her and eachother because none of you guys want to fall behind while the other is doing good..
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wow woo you are awesome.Hehehehe.So I'll talk to her about that.But if both of us wanna ve sex so badly,we ll go there right. (link)
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haha thanks anytime :) yup u can go there just remember no rush n not to quick lol
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Thanx alot for your advise.I wouldn't do that for any reason.I love her a lot and I can't picture my life without her.Its the same with her.We ve been very close.So we'll never let each other go.But now I'm a little bit curious about the way I should react.So what do you think?.Is it ok to talk about that with her and ask her that she really wanted it or not. (link)
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ofcourse baby boy talk to her thats number one in a relationship communication is the key never hide your feelings and always make sure that you make her comferatable enough so she wont hide hers. Talk to her and if ya both feel comferatable then hey enjoy :)
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Regarding my question http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=600936.
Thank you for your advise.Really appreciate it.But next that we ll meet she won't be on her periods.so I wanna know how should I react next time.SJust like the last time,or in a different manner. (link)
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u should try telling her how u feel see to me is not even about being a virgin everyone was a virgin once . To me is about staying with her being with her and not walking away after. To her it might be tempting because she has you and she likes you but u should think about how long have you guys been together and realize that even if you guys have sex its more about the companion and freindship and relationship that you guys will have after. You can choose to do it but remember if you walk away a year later its something she wont forget she will remember you as her first. So be smart about it and if you choose to do it dont rush into it make her feel comferatable and dont finish quick unless shes uncomferatable. Make it special :) and if you choose not to remember theres plenty of time just figure out within yourself if you feel like its the right thing to do or just to wait. Its upto you.:)
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Okay, the issue at hand goes somewhere among these lines. My group of friends is not quite extense, I've had issues with people in the past, which led me to find decent, healthy people. Our group consists of eight people, three girls and five guys. I love hanging around them and all, but sometimes my guy friends ditch me because they are not around, or sometimes our girl friend( one in specific ) would tell them they shouldn't go out with me and a bunch of girls ( to set an example ) or she'd get mad, at that point they cancel out on me and it drives me crazy. I feel like I have no friends right now and it's driving me crazy, Any advice on how to handle the situation? (link)
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sometimes in life when we are young we dont find the right freinds i been throught it plenty of times but as you get older you realize that only a few will stay and a lot will go so do things you like write poems or read books spend time with your family if you like blogging then blog idk do something you like . While you grow older better freinds come or long and even if they still not the right ones just be aware of who you lend your full trust to and time. Girl just do your own thing dont worry bout it and live your life people will come and go but the true ones will stay.:)
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