Hi,
I see life simple and to the point. I love to live, seriously. I am a music aficionado and live a very positive life. My screen name says everything about how I want to be identified :) Being new to this site should not discourage you from sending me a personal question. All I do all day is focus my attention on customer satisfaction. With the free time I currently have there is plenty of time to advice others, maybe not every topic, but on topics that I can relate to or have experience with at my age. I am part of the positive bunch in my circle of friends and hang with like minded people.
I feel I have accomplished most of my dreams at my age. I grew up in a very impoverish neighborhood living with my mother and stepfather. By age 15 my goal was to be alive and see 19 to graduate high school. By 19 I wanted to be an Engineer. So I applied myself to prove those who had doubts about my goal. I was accepted to a university right out of high school and a few years later made my mother happy by graduating. The story goes on and there is more to my story but you get the point. We only limit ourselves to a certain extent. I know we can do better so don't give up. Make me proud! :)
Gender: Male
Location: Long Beach
Occupation: Account Manager
Age: 36
Member Since: July 1, 2014
Answers: 23
Last Update: September 4, 2014
Visitors: 3413
Main Categories:
Doesn't Fit Any Of These Categories
Mental health
Spirituality
View All
|
| |
|
I'm 20 and I broke up with my first love a year ago. I loved him with every fibre in my being and did literally everything for him, even if it went against my morals. I spent all the money I had on getting him expensive gifts and I stuck with him, even when he couldn't care less about me. When we broke up because of the fact that he didn't wanna deal with commitment, at this stage in his life, he wasn't upset, not even for a day. It's been over a year and I've been the only one carrying all this pain and I've been holding so much hope that we could get back together, someday. We still see each other and he kisses me and that's what gave me hope that he still likes me. But last night, he told me that he'd never even think of marrying someone like me and that he needs a submissive kind of girl who doesn't pick up on the wrong things he does, like I did.I always picked up on all his lies and everything he hid from me. It hit me all at once, last night that he's been using me this past year and using my vulnerability. I cried in front of him for two hours straight and he kept saying the same things like "You're not my first love so I can't hold that much love for you" and "I told you I didn't want a relationship" "My first made me lose all my emotions" . I don't know why I'm so attached to him or why I'm even this devastated over a jerk like him. I just need someone to talk some sense into me. I worry, that I'll never be good enough for someone. What else can I do for someone to make them appreciate me? I allowed him to cross so many limits of mine and went above and beyond for him, and I get this, in return. How will I expect the next guy in my life to appreciate what I'll do for him and not break my heart again? (link)
|
Hi,
I'll be brief but our first love is always painful. It hurts both, but especially you since its your first. It's like the first time you ride a bicycle and fell. Well, you get up and try again on this tricycle. If that tricycle breaks you get another one. I make the bicycle example because it's easy to follow. If you believe in love it finds you and if you are lucky, it will find you both. This boy you now date is not ready to commit and you can't force him to love you no matter how much you try. Just stop seeing this person, heal, and a new person will be in your life before you knew it. People come and go, but the good ones that are hard to find stay if they love you. Try it.
Good luck stranger,
ULO
|
|
So I had been a Wiccan for months, and my dad had the bad idea of it. That every Wiccan was a witch. That witches are evil. That the Horned God is associated with Satan because he has horns/antlers. I have never felt comfortable in Christianity, but felt comfortable in Wicca, like I was 100% safe and nothing would ever hurt me. I'll be turning 18 in a few months. Should I just light candles in my room, try to tell the Horned God that I'm sorry and that I'll move in with my friend when I turn 18 and become a Wiccan again? (link)
|
Hi,
I am not too familiar with Wiccan, but as long as you are doing this in good spirits and not hurting anyone you'll be fine. Right? Horns or no horns. If your dad does not allow you to worship a different God at his home, I would respect his wishes until you have your own home to do as you please. I say respect your parents wishes, respect yourself, and naturally you will respect others. I make it sound simple because it is. I listed to music that could be related with worshiping other Gods, but it is an entertainment for me. Best of luck with your study of Wiccan religion and one day you can prove your dad wrong about your beliefs. Have a great day!
-ULO
|
|
will god forgive me and will I still go to heaven when I follow through with what I'm about to do. I figure if I'm going to loose everything I'm going to loose it on my terms. I am going to jail for driving under suspennsion and I,m on disability and I'll loose everything I'm already living my life in a wheelchair from a motorcycle accident. I already have my mind made up (link)
|
Hi,
Thanks for sending me a message. This could be complicated. Will God forgive you? Ask yourself would you forgive yourself? If the answer is yes, then why end it now? So you do a few years in jail/prison, well you knew the risks for what you did. Don't feel guilty, just pay for your actions with time like a man and be responsible. Learn from the experience and be a better person while doing time. If the answer is no, then what is the purpose of being alive? We all make mistakes.
Being on disability does not mean life as you know it is over. Being on a wheelchair does not mean life is over. If all you see is negative, then you need to turn that into a positive immediately. I make mistakes all the time and learn from that to never let it happen again. If you see a kid crawl, cause walking is not in the mind, instinct tells the kid to get up and try again. For what? Kids know when they see adults they also want to imitate them as they walk. Our instinct is to keep moving forward and hope for change. Don't loose HOPE AND BELIEVE in yourself even if no one around you believes. I believe you can be a better person. You did send us a message here for some advise and I hope you use it to your advantage no matter in what country you live in. Make positive happen!
ULO
|
|
You answered my question about making a job change recently. After initially accepting the offer, I recanted and turned it down. Later that day the HR Manager left me a voicemail stating management really liked me and wanted to sweeten the offer. I called this morning. Instead of making an offer, she asked me what it would take to get me to come. I gave her a number that was 6% more than what Iwas offered, but still well within the stated salary range. She later sent an email saying she gave the proposal to management and that they were going to pursue other candidates. They didn't even make a counter offer, and said they really didn't think I wanted the job. I thought it was bizarre. (link)
|
Maybe this was not meant to be. How do you feel?
ULO
|
|
I havnent been able to sleep very well for the past week, and when I do it's maybe 5 hours a night with me waking up every 45 minutes in that time span. What should I do to get some sleep? (link)
|
Hi,
This can be complicated. Is there something in your mind that you keep thinking about? Are you stressing over something? Maybe try taking a bath before you go to sleep. That should give you a good nights sleep? Some hot herbal tea with no caffeine can also be a good idea? Some medicinal herbs help too? This all depends on your age....
This is a good start. Try some.
ULO
|
My father took everything of value and left us.
My mother is mentally ill and now has no insurance(so she's off her pills).
My sister is a major suck up to our mother(Favorite child).
Were stuck in an Extended Stay hotel and,its sucking up all the income we have.We have tried all "free" places for medicine and help.But our income is too high,but its not enough for us to live on.
I barely make $150 a week from my job and, its considered part time.I'm at my job all day from 10AM to 4PM and,they don't consider it full time.So because of the time and all the work,I can't get a 2nd job.We have no car,so we take the public city bus everywhere(which is $1.50 there and back per person).
My problem is my mother.She's always been an mental abuser and only to me.She says that "I'll never be anything","I'll never go to college,and even if I did I'd fail it","Ill never be anything in life,or have a husband let alone a boyfriend"... That was just this week.
She said that to me because I told her to "hold on one moment" while I was filling up water bottles,and she wanted me to look for a phone number for her.It only took 2 minutes and I couldn't look away or I'd have water on the floor.
My sister is a major suck up to our mother.She sides with her even when moms wrong.She won't stick up for anyone and can't even keep a job that long.she keeps calling out at work and lying to them about why.I tell her to quit it and I get screamed at by mom (mom encourages her to call out).
Right now I got no friends,because I don't have time.I got no other family to go to,and right now mother plans on leaving with my sister.They plan to go to grandma's and I can't come.she made that clear.Were all old enough to be on our own,but we weren't ever encouraged or pushed to go on our own.Our mother was one of those ones that did everything for you,even when you didn't want her to (tried getting her to stop,but that only made her mad and she'd guilt me into letting her).
So where do I go?Do I leave my job and beg my deadbeat dad to go,live with him in another state?
Or do I take my chances on the street?If I do that I lose everything I own. (link)
|
Hi,
Thanks for writing and I hope by the time you read this you are doing better. What I tell you here is just an idea of what I would do and think about before you decide what to really do. Only you know what is best.
First, do the people you love with love you? I'd say no.
They have their own reasons for feeling the way they do. But not to worry. You can do anything you set your mind into. I guarantee it. Give it a shot. Eg. My father did not think I was smart enough to do anything in life. Yes, he was comparing me to his failed decisions. No, I never believed that guy, although if did cross my mind and he was a drunk. But he was my father you ask? That does not give him the right to devalue me... period. Let alone strangers like your boss or any other human you loose respect for. Follow me?
If I were in your shoes I would leave these people, your family. That keep in mind does not respect you
|
|
My mom is weird. She yells for the stupidest stuff and gets angry quickly. Today we rented a movie and my brother played it off the ps3 . She started yelling and screaming why youbeat the system use the cd playr in front of my cousin even tho the movie plays either way. She gets mad when the house isn't clean to perfection and in stores she'll yell at the manager if things aren't flawless.if I don't want to do something she'll give me this speech" I gave up my life for you . I sacrificed everything" if we don't do things her way she screams. She's always taking pics and posting them on fb and if the pics aren't perfect she'll yell. I stress out and am getting acne bc of it. I tryed talking to her but then she's like" oh your trying to act like the victim " I don't no what to do. Please help me (link)
|
Hi,
Sounds like your mom is going through something personal and must be very private to share with you. I'm not sure you can help until she is ready to tell you what is really going on. I'm not sure how old you are, but if you are under 18, I can only recommend to be passive and just let her be. Keep asking and don't give up trying to find out what's going on. She might not even think something is wrong. You know? Keep hope alive and it might sound easier to just type, but some time, patience , and persistence will keep you feeling better. Meaning you cannot feel bad for not trying, right? Sure hope you agree with me. As of now keep a close bond with your brother and talk about this. Help each other and be there for one another... Best of luck and smile.
ULB
|
|
ok, so thats me, the one with the girl hating my guts. I couldnt log into my account, so i had to reset amd i just used a quick account, but, the girl (L) will crumple up my notes when i send them to her, and shes been pissed now for about 4 months. And is anerexsia really that serious? She needs professional help? :0 (link)
|
Hi,
Anorexia is a serious issue. I say that only a clinical doctor might be able to help with. That is beyond my advise. Good luck with this...seek help ASAP. :)
|
So I know the internet isn't exactly the safest place. But I have a social media account to keep track of like what's going on. But I have met a few people on there. I don't say anything personal or anything, we just talk about the stuff we have in common. I am trying to stop talking to them though because I feel like it just makes me anxious and unsafe.
Anyways, the only things I've told about myself is my name and timezone. I've never said anything too personal like the city I live in, about personal things, etc. But is this "safe"? Is using my first name okay? (link)
|
Hi,
Explore the social media...everyone is practically on it and you never know what advice you can receive. I remember when chatting first began and I was hooked for hours. Sometimes even just 3-4 hours of sleep at the 24hr computer lab in college. I would not recommend meeting someone in person until you have spoken for at least one year. Why? Well, what is the rush? Maybe speak on the phone. With today's technology with google you can get a free number that no one can track you down. You are safe, but never give your address until that year :) and if you ever meet just make it a public place.
Just a thought...
ULO
|
|
Long story short I still talk to my ex in occasion, and we get along OK. Since we broke up we've been in touch to some degree. I see him as a friend and solely a friend. He's now engaged which is great. Problem being is on several occasions since they've been together he's tries to get me to send "dirty" pictures of myself to him. The first few times they had just started dating, I said no but never said anything to her. Just recently he's started asking me again, which I said no, they are due to get married in 3 months. Should I tell her what he's up to or leave it be? I still have the messages in case. (link)
|
Hello,
Just ask yourself if this ex boyfriend is worth keeping as a friend? You can get in real trouble with him/her for being around. I would not tell her anything and leave the ex behind. Might be tough? Well, just ignore the calls and text, or just block it off completely. Forget this person and move on. If I was the guy trying this with a female friend, which I would not, this only means I want to "hook up" again.
Best of luck,
-ULO
|
i liked this girl i started dating who i thought was an innocent girl. in fact i didn't even try to kiss her until the third date because of how innocent i thought she was. well the thing is after i kissed her and don't ask me why we started talking about sexual experiences ( i thought she had practically none so what did i have to fear). well i found out she is what is known as a virgin slut or virgin whore, a girl who is still a virgin but has kissed around 40 guys and had blown off 4 guys just because she was horny and returning the favor after they had sucked her off.
i feel a little disgusted with the horny attitude with random guys in the past and don't know what i should think.
anyway, she is leaving the country for a year so we broke up but still talk as friends. we only kissed so i didn't even get blown off myself but she is going to do some religion studies outside the country, meaning no more sex life for at least that year (no kissing, no nothing). the thing is she went to Aruba as her last opportunity to party and i hate the feeling i get when i think about the certainty of she kissing at least a couple of guys a night (which really doesn't bother me that much)and the possibility of she sucking a guy off just because she is horny (that one does bother me).
i know this inst exactly a question but i need counsel from someone.
thanks in advance. (link)
|
Hello,
I am not sure how old you are, but I would not worry about it too much. The reason I say that is because you might never see this person again. It doesn't sound like you had a serious relationship where you two talk all the time and you can't get enough of each other. Long distance relationships are tough. I would only encourage that it if it was very serious where you could potentially be falling in love.
Also, it could be "puppy love". Just learn from this experience and know how to treat the next gal that comes your way. She was definitely curious about you since you two kissed. Just be careful with the girls you date because they could just be telling stories. I personally don't trust anyone until they have shown themselves and me respect. Take care of yourself and always use protection even if they tell you they are on the the pill.
-ULB
|
I'm a freshman , and I've been searching online for good colleges and i just need someone who attended or have seen CUNY : Brooklyn College to tell me is it good or bad ? , and does it have Computer Science ?
(link)
|
Hello,
I did not attend a University in New York. I did go to an Engineering School in California and cannot really give you much information on CUNY. Do not worry too much about good or bad. They are all tough colleges. Follow the steps to apply or visiting some campuses. Heck, if you live close visit some colleges and talk to students one on one. That's what I would do. Best of luck!
Options for computer science start here: http://www.computersciencecolleges.com/Colleges_list/college_list.aspx?state=ny
-ULO
|
22/f, 27/m
I'm seeing a guy, we're not sure if we've exclusive or not, but he came over to my house for the first time and he met my parents. He slept over at my house. Yes, we do have an intimate relationship as well. The morning after, I showed him a big stuffed animal I had that was in my closet. I told him I had no idea where to put it. He jokingly said, "well, since you don't have a boyfriend, that means you can cuddle with that at night."
I laughed it off but it has been lingering in the back of my head for awhile. Was that him just saying he was considering me just as a fuck buddy? Was he trying to talk about being exclusive and that's the way he tried bringing it up? Or was that him just joking about it? We've been dating and talking for awhile. He told me he'd be upset if I was seeing other people and same vice-versa.
He's still talking to me everyday so I'm wondering what may have been the hidden message of what he said (if there was any). (link)
|
Hi,
Sounds like a Sarcastic joke. Is he Sarcastic? The only way to tell is by asking. If it's exclusive both of you should agree. Does he treat you like his lucky charm? Do you feel disrespected? I would not worry about it too much. Enjoy each others company and only time will tell. You might already know the answer... :)
|
|
This is an odd problem, I think. So I'm a 20 year old college student in Ireland. I want to be successful and to be a decent, happy human. But I have a serious mental block in pursuing these things and trying to push myself because of the man my father is. My father is lazy, stupid, ignorant, close minded and greedy. He is all of these things to quite a high degree. This becomes more and more apparent to me the older I get. I feel like I Just feel like I'm genetically predisposed to be the complete failure of a person that he is. It seems impossible to me that I could be the complete opposite of my own father. As much as I try to overcome this feeling I just can't. It stops me from pushing myself to tap into whatever potential I may have. I'm often told by close friends that I don't think nearly enough of myself and that I don't take myself seriously. I think they're probably right but I find it very difficult to think that I can't shake off my DNA. I feel like this is really holding me back. If anyone has experienced something similar and has overcome this or knows of examples of people who have or can give me any kind of constructive advice Id greatly appreciate it. Thanks in advance (link)
|
Hi,
As you try to find yourself and your identity, you will learn much more as the years go by. Your dad has made a decision to be who he is for some reason you might not be aware of yet. Accept him for who he is. At least you have learned this is not what you want for yourself. Don't judge him and let it be. You have total control to keep pursuing your personal goals. Focus on your education even with this distraction. Make smart decisions and you will be better than decent and happiness just follows you. :)
|
|
So my mom baffles me with her "hostile" behavior. It seems like she starts fights with people around her out of no where. She would lash out at people for no reason. Or yell at them for no reason. Sometimes she'll take the calmest situation and somehow transform it into a bloody battle. I HONESTLY have no idea why she acts that way to everyone around her. Would you know why she's like that? I really cannot understand why she acts that way. It's so baffling and mind boggling! I think she needs psychological help but she wouldn't believe that. Whenever we tell her to calm down or to be more understanding she just keeps acting hostile. Is it a mental problem? I need advice... I don't know what else to do or how else to talk to her. Anyone else's mom like mine? I just feel so heated right now... It's as if she's from another world where the notion of hostility has taken over her mind. (link)
|
Hi,
I'm no doctor but sounds like she might be going through something she is not sharing with you. There is no need to be angry at the world unless something bothering her. I hope she is okay but I recommend taking to her and digging deep into her mind. Finding inner peace could be tough, but with you in the picture being positive is one way to see it. Keep in mind this won't be easy but don't give up trying. :)
|
21/f
He did not make me feel less pretty than her, I put this on myself. I don't think he knows that I know how she looks like. I don't think he was aware that we went to the same school and that's how I know.
I've been dating this guy for two months now and every time I see her, every time he mentions her, I can't help but compare myself to her. My friends and siblings have seen her pictures and the first thing that comes out of their mouths are, "wow! she's really pretty!" And they look at me and say, "it's okay... You're cute?" And it makes me feel worse about myself.
I know that she worked for a dog rescue, etc and I sometimes feel like he brags that he has dated a Brazilian girl... and that doesn't make me feel any better. He's told me that I'm cute and that I'm pretty, but I can't help but compare myself to her. I keep thinking that maybe he won't like me as much as he liked her or how he maybe comparing me or thinking that his ex girlfriend was prettier.
Majority of the time I'm satisfied with myself and how I look but this time it bothers me. How do I stop myself from thinking this way? (link)
|
Hi,
Just a thought...But, you might not be ready for a relationship. At least not to this person. Try to never compare yourself to anyone unless there is a competition. You will always be beautiful and you must love yourself before you can love another. You need to meet someone who likes you for everything you bring to the table. Plus, he might still like the ex if he keeps talking about her... :)
|
21/f, 27/m
I've been dating this guy for two months. We haven't really discussed whether or not we were exclusive. We have but we did not go anywhere with the conversation.
He knows that if he was seeing other people, I would stop seeing him. He has also told me that he would be upset if I was seeing or dating other people as well. He has told me that he wasn't seeing anyone else but he has been "chatting" or "talking" to other people but he hasn't actually seen them ever since he met me.
The one thing that throws me off is that he's also still on Tinder (dating app), is it okay for me to assume that we're exclusive? Or what should I make of it? (link)
|
Hi,
It's safe to assume this is not an exclusive relationship. He will keep his options open until you both agree to the terms to only see each other. He is clearly not hiding it from you. Be free and see who ever you want until this becomes serious. Talking is key. Nothing more to think about. Just keeping it simple. Don't stress over this. Doesn't sound like it's worth your undivided attention yet :)
|
|
My boyfriend has clearly admitted to liking hentai and other cartoon pornography but can not get an erection with me. He swears up and down that I am not the problem, that he is attracted to me, yet, I flaunt my naked body around him all the time and not even the slightest bit of arousal is seen in him. He stays limp. Everytime I ask him it's always "I don't know, I tell myself to get hard and it doesnt happen". I cant say what type of cartoon porn he likes because he hasn't shown me any of it, so, I don't know if its kiddy porn, or legimite adult on adult...I just know that he is into that and not into real porn, he won't watch the real life porn or even have sex with me. What can I do to help change that besides draw a picture of myself and wear it on my body? (link)
|
Why watch cartoons when the real deal is in front of him in person?
Can you accept this person with this glitch? You can't change this person unless they want to change. Odd addiction to have.
If I were in your shoes I would move on. Trust me that there are people out there who want your body, mind, and soul for good use for life. :)
|
When I was 12 years old,I met a young man about 13.We met in church.We hanged out alot and we were close.He left the church with his dad who was singing there at the time.
I am 24 now and he is 25
I moved to another state,and he is still in California
3 years ago we got back in touch through Facebook.At first we were texting and talking always,and throughout this period we had times of seperation due to personal problems,not neccesarily with eachother. The times that we kept texting we just kept getting closer and closer.And we love eachother.
We are planning to see eachother in September.Ive saved money and Im happy.
The problem is is that I have beliefs.I am not Jewish,but I kep Shabbat and Bibical Feasts.And the Bible clearly states that I cant be un-evenly yoked with a non-believer.He does not believe in any of this stuff,whereas,I havent talked much about it.Hes very serious about me and wants to marry me.My mom is very strict about our Bibical beliefs and she won't have a heathen with her daughter.I also don't want to go to hell and lose the beautifullness I have with this man that I love.I feel torn.Should I stay or tell him goodbye and be with someone who shares in what I believe? I dont want to let him,even thinking has left me crying for hours at a time.Please,what do I do?? (link)
|
Hi,
I will keep it simple. Do you love him? Has he proven his love to you? If both answers are yes, then you know what you have to do. Love is hard to break if you both want it and no one can tell you who to love. Try not to worry about what anyone has to say. People like to judge, ignore them and prove them wrong. Opposites attract. Etc. :)
|
|
I am from South Africa 16 years old..I recently lost my virginity last month. So during that month weekly me and my boyfriend would have sex .Since I lost my virginity I never gotten my period, however , every time we had sex we would use a condom AND before he would cum he usually pulls out and gets rid of the condom afterwards.. there was one day when we were doing it and he was gona cum so he pulled out the condom broke ! ..but I don't understand because the condom only broke when he WAS NOT in me anymore ..however just for precaution the next day I took an emergency contraceptive ..and its the 1st of July and I'm still waiting for my period ..I'm afraid to get a Pregnancy test ..PLEASE HELP what do I do? (link)
|
Hi,
First take a deep breath and write down some options. I recommend to just take the test. You have nothing to loose but the truth. Yes, the truth sometimes hurts, but that is a learning phase in life. If you do not want to be in this situation again, use protection. Make it always your decision, not his. This is your body, your temple, your life. Make better decisions and avoid these situations. :)
|
|