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Love Choice,should I stay with him or end it now?
When I was 12 years old,I met a young man about 13.We met in church.We hanged out alot and we were close.He left the church with his dad who was singing there at the time.
I am 24 now and he is 25
I moved to another state,and he is still in California
3 years ago we got back in touch through Facebook.At first we were texting and talking always,and throughout this period we had times of seperation due to personal problems,not neccesarily with eachother. The times that we kept texting we just kept getting closer and closer.And we love eachother.
We are planning to see eachother in September.Ive saved money and Im happy.
The problem is is that I have beliefs.I am not Jewish,but I kep Shabbat and Bibical Feasts.And the Bible clearly states that I cant be un-evenly yoked with a non-believer.He does not believe in any of this stuff,whereas,I havent talked much about it.Hes very serious about me and wants to marry me.My mom is very strict about our Bibical beliefs and she won't have a heathen with her daughter.I also don't want to go to hell and lose the beautifullness I have with this man that I love.I feel torn.Should I stay or tell him goodbye and be with someone who shares in what I believe? I dont want to let him,even thinking has left me crying for hours at a time.Please,what do I do??
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Hi,
I will keep it simple. Do you love him? Has he proven his love to you? If both answers are yes, then you know what you have to do. Love is hard to break if you both want it and no one can tell you who to love. Try not to worry about what anyone has to say. People like to judge, ignore them and prove them wrong. Opposites attract. Etc. :)
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Hey sweetie!
I don't know if you came to the right person for help with the belief-stuff, since I'm an atheist. But I'll help you anyway.
Firstly, I think it is so sweet that you guys found each other after so much time! So I assume you guys are just friends (with feelings for each other), but not in a long distance relationship.
I respect your beliefs but you love this man. It's a difficult situation: religion/love. Whether you go against your religion or not is completely your choice but if it were me, I would re-consider my religion.
This man loves you, and is willing to marry you and maybe one day, you'll have his children. You could have the happily-ever-after. It's something very rare; not everyone finds this opportunity.
I understand your Mom is strict, but you're 24, not 12. You rule your life, you make your own decisions and ultimately, if you choose your loverboy then it is you who will marry him. So forget about your mother, and think about you and your feelings.
"I also don't want to go to hell..." Here's where me being an atheist is a bit complicated. I, personally, think that heaven and hell were made for people who are scared of death. Basically, everyone. If good people were good then they go to a happy place (heaven), if they are bad or know of someone bad that person will go to a bad place (hell). Really it's simple, people would rather live their lives a certain way, follow rules, be obedient to other people just to assure a good place after death, if there is such a thing.
Sorry about my religion rant, onto your problem. I don't think you'll go to hell for pursuing a relationship with this man. Do you think it's fair to go to hell for being in a loving, happy, healthy and successful relationship? I don't.
Why do you think there's so many religions in the world? People have problems with their religons all the time. So they either change to a religion they find acceptable, or they just abandon religon alltogether.
So with all that said, I apologize if I drifted a bit off the topic. The whole religion thing really infuriates me. I hope I could help you in any way possible and I truly wish you all the happiness in the world.
Stop trying to make everyone happy, and make yourself happy.
Best of luck!
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Your mother is not the person who is going to marry this young man you are. My wife and I are of two different religions and have been happily married for 43 years as of next Saturday. As for Heaven and Hell the Jewish religion does not believe in such. As for the Bible and Interfaith marriage that is something you have to decide for yourself.
In today's world that passage is so trampled upon purgatory would need to expand to accommodate all the sinners of just that passage. Most churches do all interfaith marriages to be performed in their church they just do not provide a Mass or religious service.
If you love this man. If he honors you, makes you happy and together you can make a family and have a life together that's what counts. Mom is not going to live your life for you nor can you live your life for her. Sure there are ways she can show her displeasure and you can address them when and if they come along. Whatever they may be if they be they will fall to the wayside when her grandchildren come along for she will want to be part of their lives. If she somehow alienates herself from you before then she will not be a part of her grandchildren's lives in the future.
As someone of grandparent age I can tell you for a fact the biggest thrill in our lives is when our children have children. It is the most cherished time in our lives after the birth of our own children. It is something I am looking forward to and can't wait to hold my first grandchild and I will do nothing to harm that chance.
What this all boils down to is as I said in the beginning. This is your life you live it as you want. Your 24 and adult now and your mother no longer has any right to tell you how to live your life. As parents we can offer suggestions, that does not mean you have to accept our suggestion or advice.
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You need to tell him.
Your beliefs are unlikely to change between now and September, so you need to let him know what is up. He deserves to know what the problem is, and you should be able to let him know what is going on in your life and causing you stress.
Otherwise, it's tough to advise you. Frankly, I find the religious beliefs that demand 'blood be kept pure' nothing more than xenophobia, and a horrible technique religions have used historically to control and coerce members, but if you know that is it is really important to you, personally, that you marry a man who conforms to your religious beliefs, then you need to go find that man, or at least a man who is willing to sincerely convert for you.
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