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stoping self harm
hi im 12 and i do self harm ive been doing this since i was like 10-11 i want to stop but every time i try and tell someone i get nervious and scared what should i do?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I understand that this can be really hard. Esspecially if you have been doing this for a while now. All you have to do is find other things to distract yourself from self harming. Find a hobby, hang out with friends...just do anything that would prevent you from being alone, because when you are alone, you overthink, and depress yourself, and tha's when you slef harm. Have you ever self harmed in public, or around people? No. So just go do somethoing to keep yourslef busy, and then you won't think about hurting yourslef. Hope this helped!
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I used to be and still some what am in your possition. When I was ten I started to cut. For about 4 years I cut and no one noticed. I was afraid to tell any one. I was afraid theyd judge me but one night I talked to my best freind about. I discovered that he cut to and even worse than I did. We both wanted to stop so we began to hold each other acontable. Now we wouldn't yell at each other when we cut but we'd try to help each other through the reason that we did cut. It felt good to know that some one actuly cared. Eventuly some people I didn't want to find out found out including my parents. They weren't mad but some what disapointed that I felt I couldnt trust them to tell them what was bothering me. Eventuly we found out I was bipolar and I've been able to find ways to help me stop cutting. When I feel the urge alot of the time I listen to my favorite songs or play my guitars or meditate. This has helped me alot. I'm not going to lie to you. I still cut but I went from a few times a day to once a week then eventualy once ever couple of months. Your right its very hard to tell people. If your afraid to tell your parents try to tell your best freind or some one who is close to you and keeps your secerets. Or write in a journal/diary. I started to and it helped me so much. I just wrote down my trouble and basicaly pretended that my journal was a freind who had no problems of his own but wanted to listen to mine. Message me if you ever need to talk. I would love to help.
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I truly feel for you and the struggle you are going through. Please know that a lot of people are probably in the same boat as you but a lot have surely successfully overcome it as well.
I actually think you did the right think by coming to this site in that you started on a series of steps to get you to the point you want to reach. For example, you say you get nervous when you want to tell someone. Well guess what, you already did! You told me and anyone else on this site willing to listen. That's progress.
Maybe a few conversations on here or perhaps support forums online can lead you to a next step in confiding in a parent, sibling or friend. After that, and what you will ultimately want to do, is reach out to a therapist or mental health professional. There is no shame in it and they really can help.
Good luck.
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The biggest step in stopping the self-harm is admitting you have a problem which you have done. The reason you get scared and nervous is you think your parents are going to yell at you or be mad or even punish you for doing so.
As a parent myself, actually I'm of the grandparent age I can only tell you how I would act if my son or daughter would come to me with news like this. I think I would get upset not necessarily at you but with me for not noticing what was happening. Depending on how you self-harm I would probable then get scared as well because you could have hurt yourself beyond repair. While I might be yelling at you I am really yelling at myself. I know that is a little hard to understand but it is a parent thing we yell at our children when they do something that scares us that we could or should have been able to prevent.
Have you considered writing mom and dad a note? You could start by saying something like; "I need help and I'm afraid you will yell at me so I have chosen this way to tell you why I need help. I have been self-harming myself for the last two years and I want to stop. I need your help. I think I need to see a doctor."
Self-harming is a cry for help. It usually means you are suffering from some type of depression. Given when you started to self-harm it is possible you are suffering from teenage depression which come on when a child starts into puberty.
Since puberty can start as early as 10 and sometimes even earlier, it is quite possible that you are having trouble dealing with all the new hormones now in your body. This is generally a cause for teenage depression and doctors can help you. So you are absolutely correct in asking for help.
If you can't fact mom or dad in person then write them a note. Leave the note on their pillow or on the kitchen table where they can find it. There is one other thing you can o and you do not need parental permission to do so.
IF you feel the need to self-harm before you find a way to tell your parents. Pick up the phone and call 911. This is a reason for calling 911. Tell the call taker you have been self-harming and you feel the need to do so now. The call taker will stay on the phone with you while help is sent to you.
Where I live, and as a first responder; when we get this type of call they dispatch the closest fire truck to you, and ambulance and a police officer. The fire truck is sent so the EMT's on the fire truck can care for you until the ambulance arrives with the paramedics. The police officer is dispatched to make sure you are safe and that the firefighters and paramedics are allowed to treat you.
I'm telling you this as this is fairly a standard response in most parts of the country so you know what to expect if you need to call 911. If you need to call 911 then do so this is what 911 is all about.
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