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Is it okay to assume that we're exclusive?
21/f, 27/m
I've been dating this guy for two months. We haven't really discussed whether or not we were exclusive. We have but we did not go anywhere with the conversation.
He knows that if he was seeing other people, I would stop seeing him. He has also told me that he would be upset if I was seeing or dating other people as well. He has told me that he wasn't seeing anyone else but he has been "chatting" or "talking" to other people but he hasn't actually seen them ever since he met me.
The one thing that throws me off is that he's also still on Tinder (dating app), is it okay for me to assume that we're exclusive? Or what should I make of it?
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First off, I'm glad to hear that things are going so well for you in your relationship. However, although both of you have seemed to lay your cards out on the table so to speak, I personally don't believe it is ever a good idea to assume anything, especially when it comes to dating.
Obviously, you know how you feel and that you consider it to be an exclusive relationship on your part, but you can never account for someone else just by assuming.
In your case, my guess would be that he is considering himself exclusive to you but is still open to future possibilities. Now don't get me wrong, I am in way shape or form saying he isn't committed to you. Maybe it's even a guy thing since I can relate. But what I mean is that he wants to take things slow in that regard.
If you do decide to outright ask him, be tactful about it and never accusatory, That sort of thing can be the ruin of a good relationship.
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Assuming is never a good idea.
You need to talk to him about this with more precision or one, or both of you, is going to end up hurt.
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Hi,
It's safe to assume this is not an exclusive relationship. He will keep his options open until you both agree to the terms to only see each other. He is clearly not hiding it from you. Be free and see who ever you want until this becomes serious. Talking is key. Nothing more to think about. Just keeping it simple. Don't stress over this. Doesn't sound like it's worth your undivided attention yet :)
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No. Haven't even finished the post; just read the question. (I will though.) Don't make assumptions in a relationship. ASSume=Feelings Hurt. Period. If you don't know, ask. If you don't have the courage to do what you need to do in in a relationship (like express yourself and ask questions), don't be in a relationship. Otherwise, you will end up with a broken heart and/or embarrassed, and you will have no one to blame but yourself, but you will probably end up blaming the other person, which is BS. (Now, I'll finish reading your post.)
Ok. I read it. You need clarity. Especially if he is still on a dating site. Sometimes people aren't 100% sure and they want to keep their options open. That shouldn't happen at your expense. If he wants his options open, he needs to be upfront with you and let you know and then YOU can make a decision about whether or not he's worth waiting for. Sit down. Get some clarity. Get a solid answer. Are we exclusive or not? Are we going to be? What are we doing? What direction are we going in? Are you going to get off Tinder? Stuff like that. If he can't give you an answer, then YOU make a decision- stay and wait (maybe keep YOUR options open), or move on. You have to look out for you. As you can see, he's looking out for himself cause he's still on Tinder. ;)
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