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Was he trying to bring up relationships or was he trying to end things?
22/f, 27/m
I'm seeing a guy, we're not sure if we've exclusive or not, but he came over to my house for the first time and he met my parents. He slept over at my house. Yes, we do have an intimate relationship as well. The morning after, I showed him a big stuffed animal I had that was in my closet. I told him I had no idea where to put it. He jokingly said, "well, since you don't have a boyfriend, that means you can cuddle with that at night."
I laughed it off but it has been lingering in the back of my head for awhile. Was that him just saying he was considering me just as a fuck buddy? Was he trying to talk about being exclusive and that's the way he tried bringing it up? Or was that him just joking about it? We've been dating and talking for awhile. He told me he'd be upset if I was seeing other people and same vice-versa.
He's still talking to me everyday so I'm wondering what may have been the hidden message of what he said (if there was any).
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Well, he obviously does not consider HIMSELF to be your boyfriend and there was nothing "hidden" about how he put it!If I were you I would just ask him "WTF did you mean when you said that!I thought you wanted us to be exclusive! Doesn't that make me your girlfriend?" If he says no, then you are just a fuck buddy! You will have to decide if that is enough for you or not. Good luck!
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Hi,
Sounds like a Sarcastic joke. Is he Sarcastic? The only way to tell is by asking. If it's exclusive both of you should agree. Does he treat you like his lucky charm? Do you feel disrespected? I would not worry about it too much. Enjoy each others company and only time will tell. You might already know the answer... :)
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Ouch!! That comment would've hurt me too. He could have said, "Well, you could cuddle up to that on the nights I am not with you." if he was wanting to make a joke and get you to laugh.
But since he used the words 'since you don't have a boyfriend' it would seem he doesnt consider himself a boyfriend. I can not say what is going on in his mind and why he feels that way. So there are several possible reasons for whats in his head and one is possibly the idea you came up with, a friend with benefits or fuck buddy. Guys don't play games to hint at something they want to talk about like girls do...they just come out and say it. So he wont be trying to find a way to talk about being exclusive if he wanted to do so, he'd just say it.
The two of you may be sharing lots of talk but the really important words that are going to help the relationship along are not being spoken by either of you. He told you he'd be upset if you were seeing other people. If he did not follow that up by volunteering to explain why, then how are you to know what he means by that. It could go either way, that you are special to him and he loves you but may have a hard time saying 'love' or he could be an insecure man who is easily jealous which he has no right to be if he hasn't talked about being exclusive. He may be terrible at getting his thoughts out of his head and heart and out into the open, there are men who are naturally more quiet, deep thinkers but not much on meaningful talk. However, if this guy doesnt want to bumble up things with you, he's going to have to be willing to talk about what is really important to communicate...assumptions don't work in relationships
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