NinjaNeer's advice column | NinjaNeer's Advice About Love Life

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Q: I met a guy on deviant art who was 20 (I'm 13 but I turn 14 on January 7th) and we started talking. I never had my age or name up on my profile. Or how I looked like. So he didn't know how old I was or any of that. He saw my art, though and thought I was so great. He had a fan fiction series he was writing and I suggested he made a Wattpad account for it. So he did. And we chatted on there more. One day I suggested he added a cover to his fan fiction and he said he wasn't too good at making covers so I offered to draw one for him. I finished it within a week (I think). He loved it and even told me I did so well, he kinda wanted to give me virtual kisses because of it. I was kinda shocked and didn't know how to respond at first. Then I replied- "That's cute. *virtual kisses* 😘" He did the same. Ever since, we'd been giving each other virtual kisses and I was had been so into him while we were talking as friends so I went along with it. Later on, we got pretty close and I lived it. However, one day I was just looking around at his profile and I saw it. He was 20 effing years old. I didn't know what to do because I was already so into him and thought my age could scare him off. But I ignored it for a while. Months later (and quite recently) he asked me how old I was and my hear freaking SINKED. I freaked out big time and didn't know what to say. I was thinking "Should I tell him my real age?" "What if he never talks to me again?" "What's gonna happen?" Eventually, I freaked out and told him I was 15, thinking it would freak him out a little less (again, I'm 13). His reaction wasn't really good at first but he said he'd wait for me and he thinks I'm turning 18 in 2019 but I'm really turning 18 in 2020. So instead of 3 years, he'd have to wait 5 years for me to turn 18. It's almost been a month since then and I'm in love with this guy. I know how he looks, how he sounds, and everything. He has a YouTube channel as well but anyways yeah. We've been texting on Kik for awhile now. But idk what to do, PLEASE HELP. WE'VE BEEN FLIRTING A LOT AND WE ARE SUPPOSED TO MEET EACH OTHER ONE DAY. IM SCARED HOW HE'LL REACT AND THAT HE'LL STOP TALKING TO ME!!! HELP!!!!!
I don't even CARE if he doesn't want a relationship. Just having him still talk to me will be enough.

I think you should be honest with him. No good relationship starts with a lie. By being honest, you give him the chance to make his own choices about how he proceeds with your relationship.

Q: i'm posting this to Ninjaneer only to remind her that marriage is not for everybody some people are not marriage material also nobody really has to get married marriage is really want not a need dating does fascinate me sometimes but having kids doesn't fascinate me at all and i hope you get this in your column so can educate yourself on the meaning of marriage and know that it's okay to not get married !

I'm not quite sure where this is coming from - is this in response to another question of yours that I have answered in the past? If you link to it I can refer back to my answer. Otherwise I'm flying blind, so bear with me.

I agree completely that marriage is not for everyone. Some people are happiest on their own, in a non-legally binding committed relationship, in an open relationship or any other number of relationship types. I think one of the best things a person can do in life is to look deeply at him or herself, decide what it is they want and be honest about that moving forward in their future relationships.

Also, for the record, as someone who has been married for five years, I am well aware of what the "meaning of marriage" is.

Q: My boyfriend of 3 years and I are 21 years old, he loves going on vacations/holidays and travelling to new places. I, however, cannot stand going on vacation/holiday. I live in a small town in the country in the UK and all my family live in the area. My family are the most important thing to me and I'm perfectly happy where I live. Travelling and going away really stresses me out, I do not find it relaxing, it's often expensive and I do not have a lot of money, I'm saving up for a place of my own. My boyfriend knows this but he's always really pushy about going on holiday.

I've compromised, a few months ago I went to the other end of the UK for a week's holiday but I was so stressed the whole time, all I wanted to do was to come back home. I get really anxious about having a car accident, cities getting bombed and people getting stabbed for example. What if I went away and something happened to us? Or what if something happened to my family back home and I wasn't there? My boyfriend's demanding that we're going on 3 more holidays in the next few months. He gets angry with me when I say I don't want to go and he just keeps saying that I HAVE to go. I compromised by going on that holiday to the other side of the UK and I don't mind going on day trips (but not to huge cities). I've told him that in a few years, when we're older and have more life experience (we're both still living with our parents) that I would consider going away more. But he keeps going on at me to go on holiday now, further and further away each time. Has anybody got any advice on what to do?

I'm going to disagree with just about everyone here. It's not the end of the world if your priorities regarding travel don't align at this particular moment.

My husband used to hate travelling. He'd had bad experiences travelling with this family, and found it to be a huge source of stress and discomfort. I love to travel and suffer from an excess of wanderlust. We've been together for nearly 10 years, and we've found a way to make it work.

It doesn't sound to me like you're completely against travel or travel-phobic. You just want to stay within your financial means and comfort zone for now, but are willing to compromise and expand your horizons. That's a good sign. You're also on the right track: start small and work your way up.

The best thing that my husband and I were able to do is to get him involved in planning. That way, travel wasn't some foreign thing being forced on him, but something he was comfortable with. I make sure to get him involved now every time I start planning a vacation. We're now at a point where he will help pick activities or places to stay, and is even offering up a few places he'd like to go. It's still not the priority for him that it is for me, but we're managing pretty well.

Compatibility while travelling isn't the relationship dealbreaker everyone seems to think it is. When you work full time, travel takes up maybe 3-4 weeks a year - is it worth it to throw away a great relationship for the sake of those couple weeks? Worst case scenario, you could always travel separately on occasion. My husband loves skiing and I don't, so he went away for a week with his family to a popular skiing location without me, and I'll be heading off on a month long solo hike this summer to check off one of the items on my bucket list. It's not the end of the world, is what I'm saying.

Continue to compromise and expand your horizons one baby step at a time. You can make it work!

Q: i thought about having a date but now i really dont want to becuase i know i will have to have some of the same interest if i get to date is there a way i can get my mind off dating becuase dating leads to the worst things in life marriage and i hope Ninja Neer gets this in her advice column and has some wonderful advice on fixing my problem .

If you aren't in a place where you want to date right now, take advantage of the extra time to do the things you want to do. Take up a new hobby, take some online classes... Whatever floats your boat.

As a married woman, I can't really agree that marriage is one of the worst things in life. I see it as a commitment to be with one of your best friends forever - hardly a negative thing at all! However, there's nothing wrong with taking the time to get to know yourself if you're not ready to share your life.

Q: the question i asked was how to avoid dating and i dont see it in your column anywhere so will you receive it and again im sending this to Ninjaneer

I did receive your question, but had not had a chance to answer it. Please do not send repeat questions or requests for answers to previous questions in the future. Your question, along with the answer, will be posted in my column once I have answered it.

Q: I was curious to know if you would be willing to help me with something. The gist of the situation is that I'm dating a bisexual guy that has never been in a relationship with a guy. We've been together a year and he says he wants to be with me for the rest of his life. Although he said that, I felt he wasn't being completely honest. I was right; he's 98% sure and 2% of him is wondering what being with a guy is like. He has explained to me his attraction and he has had that attraction since eight years old. I know this is weird asking you. I don't want to give him up but I don't want 98%. I want him to know. Have you ever had thoughts like his?

It is definitely possible to be bisexual and 100% devoted to your significant other.

I am what I would probably consider pansexual, but identified for many years as bisexual. I am also happily married and monogamous.

Being bisexual doesn't mean that you aren't capable of committing fully to any one person because you'll always be jonesing for the other genitals. This is a common misconception. All that it means is that you have a greater scope when it comes to who you partner up with.

I'm sure you've been attracted, even briefly, to other men. Does that mean you're only giving your boyfriend 98%? Not at all. Being attracted to someone or having curiosity doesn't mean that you're not completely "in" your relationship. He might be 2% wondering what it's like to be with a guy, sure. That's pretty common, though, even in a happy, healthy relationship: you wonder what it's like to be with another person but you're not about to sacrifice something great for the sake of curiosity. I challenge you to find a guy who hasn't considered what it's like to be with someone other than his current wife/girlfriend.

Q: I want sex with my boyfriend but I'm lucky if I get a kiss of him. Im a girl and I only got my first bra today and I'm not finished with puberty I've snogged and my ex showed me how to have sex but he left my school my other ex dumped me for two girls in my class. My boyfriend isn't that serious and I want more but the ex that is still in school won't go back out with me.

I don't like to tell people that they're too young to have sex, because all that does is make them want it more. What I will say is that it's hard to see the consequences of having sex when you're very young. There are physical and emotional reactions, and you want to be sure that you're ready for them.

I'm sure you've heard about the risks of pregnancy and STIs in school; be warned that nothing can 100% prevent pregnancy or STI transmission. If you are going to have sex, you have to be ready to obtain multiple forms of birth control (chemical, like the pill, and barrier, like condoms). You would also need to feel comfortable discussing these choices with your partner.

Your first time will be more emotional than physical. It's often not that pleasurable for a woman her first time, so this is where it's important to have a really strong connection with your partner. You want to be sure that he won't hurt you after the fact. Since you say that he's not that serious, I would recommend that you hold out until you are with someone who takes your relationship seriously, someone who values you as a person.

I remember being your age and wanting to have sex. It's perfectly normal to be curious and to want to grow up faster. You have so much time to grow up in, though, and it's a shame to rush through it all only to have regrets later.

Q: 20/f

It happened recently that guys just come to me and expect comfort or try to get me and sleep with them (in which they don't succeed.) It's like no one even considers me a girlfriend option. It's either the guys that are crazy about girls who don't even deserve them or the ones who think I'm young and naive and will just surrender to them. I am not that pretty,but I have a strong character,I'm caring,I'm intelligent,and I also have many other qualities. It's just that I'm pretty much invisible. Is it me,or is just the world overcrowded with idiots?

When you're 20, the world is definitely overcrowded with idiots. People your age are still stumbling around, trying to figure out who they are, which sounds like something you have figured out already.

A lot of guys have the idea that they're not mature enough for a relationship, so they should get their physical jollies and move on. As you grow older, they'll settle down and start figuring out that they want more out of life (most of them, that is).

Maintain your self-respect and don't change who you are for someone else. Eventually, you'll find someone who appreciates that.

Q: Someone asked the question, why would a married man want to cheat with a married woman. I read the tale of a married woman having an affair with a married man. She's tried everything to get her husband to turn on but nothing has worked. She is in love with the married man who claim he won't leave his wife, but says he loves his lover. Long story short, these lovers are IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER AND THEIR MARRIAGES ARE OVER. Until the truth is faced head on, you will suffer. Don't listen to people who say it's wrong. They know nothing. They are preaching but don't know what it's like to be in your shoes.

Marriage is, in my mind, when two people decide to work together to enjoy their lives together. How they go about it is their own choice: there's no such thing as a single definition of a healthy relationship. Everyone's needs are different, and everyone's life experiences will contribute to a different perspective.

When someone has an affair, it is, by nature, dishonest. It involves one partner carrying on a relationship of some sort with another person without their significant other's knowledge or consent. It puts their partner at risk physically, and damages trust.

Am I saying that it's wrong to have sex outside of a marriage? Not necessarily. If a person talks to his or her spouse about wanting more, and that spouse consents to an alternative arrangement, I think that's fine. This isn't cheating, because cheating involves dishonesty and betrayal.

It isn't fair to your partner to carry on extramarital relationships without their permission. If you want something out of your relationship that you can't get honestly, then you should consider whether you want to be in that relationship still. If you want to have children and your spouse doesn't, is it okay to sabotage birth control to get what you want? If your spouse wants to move across the world but you don't, is it okay for them to sell the house and arrange for you to move without your consent? The decision to involve outside people in your sexual life should be treated similiarly. Both partners should be equally involved and considered in decisions.

I'm fairly progressive when it comes to tolerance for alternative lifestyles. I can understand that plain and simple monogamy isn't for everyone. However, I do think it's wrong for one partner to make decisions without consulting the other, simply because they're afraid of getting caught. Having an affair is an inexcusable breach of trust.

Q: Once I have anal sex and it didn't slipper to my vagina, am I still a virgin? (Stressed)

It all depends on your personal definition of virginity. To some, virginity is lost when the then is broken; however, this can happen without any sexual contact at all. Many define it as not having had penetrative sex.

I can't tell you if you are still a virgin. Only you will know that.

Q: Okay so I have been with my boyfriend for almost three months and, in my mind, things have seemed to be going okay. I'm 16 he's 15 and this is the first relationship for both of us, we're also both quite shy people so the relationship is moving quite slowly. We see each other most days at school and we've met up a few times at weekends and we don't text an awful lot. People say that we can't really class ourselves as being in a relationship and that we're being pathetic. I can kind of see what they're saying seeing as we don't make any physical contact with each other - we've awkwardly hugged once but that's as far as we've got.

I wouldn't mind moving things on a bit faster and being in contact with him more but I'm not really sure how to go about it. I have social anxiety so I am constantly scared of saying something wrong or annoying him by texting him too much.

Also, my best friend told me the other day that she and this other boy basically forced my boyfriend into asking me out. I had no idea about this now I'm worried that maybe he didn't have any intention of asking me out and he only did it to stop people bothering him.

On the other hand, he has bought me really nice presents for Christmas, Valentines Day and my birthday and always responds very quickly and positively whenever I suggest we meet up. He spends time with me at school rather than his friends and always seems to be happy spending time with me.

Basically I'm confused - I want a relationship that people don't class as pathetic but I don't know if that's what he wants.

You know what\'s funny? 10 years ago when I was 16, that\'s actually what relationships were like. Texting wasn\'t widespread... you\'d go on dates on the weekend, and talk sometimes in between. Dating never used to be this all-consuming monster that it\'s become.

You guys aren\'t pathetic. You\'re taking a sensible, level-headed approach to your relationship. The people who have nothing better to do than put doubts in your head are the pathetic ones. You keep going at a rate that makes you happy.

Q: Recently, I started date one of my oldest friends. We started catching up last September, and we realised that we like each other. We decided to give dating a shot, and it worked out really well. He is everything I want in man; he is passionate, kind, considering, and has the biggest heart. Yes, we had our arguments; sometimes it was my fault and sometimes it was his fault. However, the biggest problem is me, you see I lied to him, more than once; and he forgave me more than once. Every lie I told him was ridiculous, and I don't know why I did so. By me promising that I will never lie will not solve anything and he will not believe me. I know I screwed up big time, and I know he is willing to give me another chance, but I truly do not know why I lied to him. I do not know how to fix my mistake. I told him that the only thing that can solve this issue, is for me to work on myself more, and for me to show him in time that he can trust me again. But I don't know what else to do other than that, because promises won't mean anything, saying sorry won't solve anything, and even if I am working on myself (i.e. my issues), does not mean that we can move forward in out relationship.
Yes, I lied, and I am sorry, but I don't have a justification to my lies, and honestly, if I was him, I wouldn't believe any of the "reasons" that I would give him.
What am I supposed to do now? How are we supposed to move past this?

The only thing that can fix this situation is continuous honesty, patience and time.

If you're really serious, you've got to keep on yourself. Stay honest about everything. Quit lying cold turkey. There may be some slip ups, but come clean about it and the repercussions will be lighter.

You're also going to have to be patient with him until he regains trust in you. There may be times when he questions your honesty even though you're telling the truth. It would be easy to blow up at him, or to lie since you're being held guilty of it anyhow. If you can keep reminding yourself that he's only thinking that way because of the past, he'll see the pattern of truthfulness emerging and he'll trust you more and more.

Other than that, time is the only thing that will get you past this. My husband and I have done some truly awful things to one another, but time helps to heal old wounds. If you really care for one another and respect one another, you can make it through anything.

Q: I take it you must be from the 50's when the men ruled the roost. You need to get into the new millennium. That was pretty nasty what you responded to the fish and chip story. I only which I could truly say what I thought right now. Is this how you are in your relationship, overbearing and rude?

I'm not sure what question you're responding to, as a quick search turned up nothing recent. Even so, I feel a response is in order.

If you see an answer that's truly offensive or harmful, you can report it. There's a link in the left sidebar for reporting abuse. Who knows? It may already have been reported as abusive and deleted, and that's why I couldn't find it.

Q: Hi:)
So over the last two months two things happened to me in a club. Once a guy that I knew and that I was dancing with touched my ass and I stopped him and danced with other people afterwards, but later had to spend time with him again, because I was visiting a friend.
Another time I was in a club and a random guy came up to me and my friend and said something I couldn't hear. So I said "what"? And he came closer, I turned my head, cause I thought he would say something into my ear, but he kissed my cheek instead.

I did not tell my boy-friend about both these happenings, but today I remembered again and felt guilty and realized that even when back then it was not my fault, I was now guilty for not having told him.

I apologized, explained what happened and asked him for forgiveness.

But I know that he now cannot trust me anymore. I mean I understand that he might think I will hide things in the future.

I don't know what to do in order to make him feel better and in order not to lose all the trust we build up over three years.

Do you have any advice?

From my perspective, there's no reason why his trust in you should be broken.

You received some unwanted physical attention in clubs. You didn't reciprocate, you didn't enjoy it (from what I gather).

You feel guilty for not telling your boyfriend, but that was because you brushed it off at the time as "Ew, these guys are creeps" and left it at that, only to remember later and feel shame. It's common for victims to feel ashamed, even when they've done nothing wrong.

If your boyfriend is upset with you for being groped in a club, you've got to remind him that you didn't ask for it. You were minding your own business and some guy decided to get all handsy. Not your fault.

If he's upset about you not telling him earlier, you can let him know that you were feeling guilt over it even though you know that it wasn't your fault and were worried to tell him. Promise to tell him if things like this happen in the future. Chances are, he's more worried about your safety than anything else.

I'm pretty sure that you haven't lost any significant trust from him. You aren't in the wrong, and your heart is in the right place. There's no quick band-aid solution: you've just got to let time do its work.

Q: Hi! So I'm 18 & my boyfriend is 19, we've been dating for about 9 months now & we've started talking about having sex! I'm a little nervous because we are both virgins, but I really want to expierience this with him. He has a genetic disease called cystic fibrosis & because of this he is infertile. Even though I know this, I'm still scared about getting pregnant. We talked about it & he suggested that he just pulls out before...you know. But I'm still unsure... Any advice?

Most men with CF are infertile, but not all of them.

The bottom line is, if you're worried about pregnancy you won't enjoy yourself. It's not worth the hassle and the inevitable pregnancy scare when using birth control in some form could save you from all of that.

Q: K so basically been talking to this guy for a few months now and we've hung out a few times. Today he asked me to come over to just cuddle and watch a movie so I said sure. Everything was going well we cuddled and watched a movie and then started making out and that's when things went downhill. While he was making out with me he was touching me in spots I wasn't comfortable with him touching me so I asked if he could please just stop because I wasn't comfortable and he did for a little bit and then the kissing got a little more intense and he started the awkward touching so again I asked him to stop and jokingly said otherwise and he said otherwise what and I said I'll leave that's when he said k bye now he was laughing when he said this but I don't know why I just got up grabbed my stuff,said bye and ran out of his house I really don't know why I did that I knew he was joking but I just left it makes no sense I don't know why I did that I really like him. Anyways not even a second after I left he texted me saying seriously that was really rude what's wrong with you and I didn't know what to say so I said I thought he was serious anyways I really messed up he deleted me off bbm but I did call and apologize and we are talking again but it's like awkward I don't know how to make this better. I really like him and I've had horrible dates before where I've gone through instead of getting up and leaving but today I just left and it made no sense it was almost like I didn't know what I was doing. He thinks I didn't want to be there because of the way I ran out.

Your decision to leave makes perfect sense, really. This guy was violating your personal boundaries despite you asking him repeatedly not to touch you where he was touching you. He didn't take your requests seriously.

Somewhere, in the back of your mind, you didn't feel comfortable. You did nothing wrong, and he's basically being a baby about it. It was rude of him to tell you to leave (even jokingly), so you were well within your rights to take him up on the offer!

Q: I'm a thirteen year old (nerdy) girl, and it's been pointed out to me that thinking nerdy boys are cute is atypical. I simply don't find what people would consider "normal" boys my age attractive. I think nerdy boys are very cute, especially boys with glasses (I've also been told this is odd), and I've never had a crush on anyone who isn't as smart or smarter than I am (I realize this may seem somewhat rude, as that's saying I think myself to be very intelligent, which I do not- just somewhat competent). What do you think? Is this weird? I never thought of as being so, just not the dominant opinion.

Here's the thing: when you date someone, you spend a lot of time with them. Does it really make sense to spend a lot of time with a guy who is pretty, but dumb as a post? Would you be able to carry a conversation with him? Could you respect him?

Chances are you couldn't. That's why it's completely normal for a smart person to only be interested in other smart people. Your friends may not realize that yet, but they will soon enough, after they waste their time on pretty boys with nothing to say. Those nerdy guys make great boyfriends, usually, and are often overlooked.

Q: So my boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. We have a great relationship and we plan to keep it that way for forever.

We are in a really great spot right now. I am 25/f and he is 28/m. He just graduated with his masters degree, and I finished my program certification last year. I have a great job and he's got tons of people interested in him with the degree that he has. We just moved in to a new apartment, and in short, our lives are good.

I've always said that I wanted to wait until we are in a stable spot to get married, and I think right now we are. I'm just not sure how to bring it up. There's always that stereotype that girls are just supposed to wait and let guys decide when it's time to get married because they are the ones proposing. If my boyfriend would allow it, I would propose myself (lol) But I know that eventually, he would want to do that.

So anyways. I'm jsut not sure how to bring it up. I don't want to be the naggy girlfriend always bugging him to get married. I just want to know that he's thinking about it and that it's in our future.

Thanks for any and all input!

Something I really don't like is the idea that the decision to get married is a one time conversation. It's a huge decision to make, and it should be an ongoing dialogue so that both of you are on board and each person knows where the other's expectations lie.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking him what he thinks on the subject of marriage. You can let him know that there's no pressure, but that you want to know if both of you have the same priorities in the relationship. There's nothing naggy about that.

Your head is in the right place. You're not stamping your feet and pouting because you have the perfect princess wedding planned out in your head and your boyfriend isn't cooperating. You just want to know if you're wasting your time waiting for a ring when there isn't one coming. You want to know if there's an intent for lifelong commitment, which is more than fair after 5 years of a healthy relationship.

Q: I'll get straight to the point.
19/f
I am in a 2 year relationship and up until this point have never had a problem with my boyfriend or myself watching porn. I always thought it was a healthy form of sexual expression and completely normal. Were very open about these kinds of things.
But then the more I started thinking about it the worse I felt. He doesn't abuse it at ALL and when I watch it, its maybe once a month or less, so these feelings came out of nowhere. It doesn't interfere with our relationship whatsoever.
(Also i'm not religious)
So I just need opinions!
1) Is it healthy/normal for a relationship?
2) It's not considered cheating ... right?
3) How could I maybe cope with it better?
Or anything else you guys wanna say please do.
I'm a little confused about the whole thing and have been feeling pretty bad every time we talk about it.
Thanks!

I think you've heard a lot of negativity so far, so here's my take on things.

1) Is it healthy/normal?

Absolutely. In any relationship, you're going to be curious about other people. Much as it would be lovely to say that we only use our significant others for masturbatory fodder, it's not necessarily the case. Porn gives you a way to act on these urges without having to go outside of your relationship. It gives you new ideas to keep things fresh and interesting, and can really expand your horizons.

2) Is it cheating?

It all depends on your personal definition. For some people, flirting is considered cheating. For other couples, full sexual content with other people is fine. So it's no surprise that some people feel that watching porn is cheating while others incorporate it into a happy, healthy sex life. It sounds like you two are doing just fine, other than your recent misgivings, so I'm leaning towards saying that you guys don't feel like it's cheating.

3) How can you cope with it?

Now, I'm not sure how you have been using porn, but if you have only been indulging solo, it might be worthwhile to try bringing your boyfriend into the mix. Try finding some couples-friendly porn, or something that really gets you going, and invite him to watch with you. It really takes away the "dirty" stigma and makes it something you can share.

I'm seeing a lot of "It gives men unrealistic expectations" pearl-clutching, and I would have to disagree. While there is some porn that features plastic women being abused, there's a whole world of female-friendly porn out there. Men decide on their own expectations for women, and it takes someone who has been damaged in some way to get that wholesale from porn.

Porn doesn't ruin relationships on its own. It's abuse of porn or a messed up attitude to it that harms relationships.

Q: we are young teens and in te next few days are gonna have sex and im scared after we do it he is going to leave me what should i do

If you have any doubts about him, hold off on having sex.

You want your first time to be with someone who really cares about you and who you can trust completely. I'm not saying you need to marry your first, but you don't want to look back on your past and be resentful of your first time. You want to make sure it's with someone who respects you and cares about you, and someone who does won't take off on you the moment he gets some action.

bio

My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.

Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.