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Messed up
K so basically been talking to this guy for a few months now and we've hung out a few times. Today he asked me to come over to just cuddle and watch a movie so I said sure. Everything was going well we cuddled and watched a movie and then started making out and that's when things went downhill. While he was making out with me he was touching me in spots I wasn't comfortable with him touching me so I asked if he could please just stop because I wasn't comfortable and he did for a little bit and then the kissing got a little more intense and he started the awkward touching so again I asked him to stop and jokingly said otherwise and he said otherwise what and I said I'll leave that's when he said k bye now he was laughing when he said this but I don't know why I just got up grabbed my stuff,said bye and ran out of his house I really don't know why I did that I knew he was joking but I just left it makes no sense I don't know why I did that I really like him. Anyways not even a second after I left he texted me saying seriously that was really rude what's wrong with you and I didn't know what to say so I said I thought he was serious anyways I really messed up he deleted me off bbm but I did call and apologize and we are talking again but it's like awkward I don't know how to make this better. I really like him and I've had horrible dates before where I've gone through instead of getting up and leaving but today I just left and it made no sense it was almost like I didn't know what I was doing. He thinks I didn't want to be there because of the way I ran out.
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You pretty much just hurt his ego so that's why he's blaming you like it's your fault when he's the one who's wrong.
You did the right thing by walking out. He doesn't care about your feelings. If he did, he wouldn't have tried to keep touching you places that made you uncomfortable. It's disrespectful to keep doing something like that after they tell you no. So honestly, he cares more about touching you than actually having feelings and caring about you.
He should be the one saying sorry, not you.
If one of your friends was talking to you and telling you, "I was over at this boys house that I liked. We started making out and he started touching me in places that made me feel uncomfortable and I told him to stop. He did but then he started doing it again and tried playing it off like he's joking when I said I was going to leave." What would you tell her? You wouldn't be like, "You were wrong for leaving." It's completely obvious he's a jerk who's selfish and is completely disrespectful.
Don't continue talking to this guy. He's using you. You can do better.
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This is victim blaming.
You are infatuated with this person. You like him and I think that's clouding your judgment. Imagine that a friend told you they went over to a guy's house and the guy was touching her in a way that made her uncomfortable, then your friend told him to stop, then he started touching her in uncomfortable way again. What would you tell that friend?
Thinking of it this way may help you distance yourself from your feelings enough to show you that you are the victim here, not him. He is the one that knowingly made you uncomfortable, then tried to pass it off in a joking manner which is typical of someone who victimizes someone else. The discomfort you felt is entirely normal. No one has a right to make you feel uncomfortable in this way and this is exactly why you walked out. No one who respects you would do intentionally do something that would make you uncomfortable like this.
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Your decision to leave makes perfect sense, really. This guy was violating your personal boundaries despite you asking him repeatedly not to touch you where he was touching you. He didn't take your requests seriously.
Somewhere, in the back of your mind, you didn't feel comfortable. You did nothing wrong, and he's basically being a baby about it. It was rude of him to tell you to leave (even jokingly), so you were well within your rights to take him up on the offer!
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