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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

i live in a society where sex before marriage isn't allowed.. so how can i now fake virginity..?? :/

If you're talking about getting your Hymen back or faking that your Hymen is still in tact that can't be done. While you may live in a society where sex before marriage isn't allowed though women are allowed to use Tampon, exercise go horseback riding or do Ballet. The these women even though they may not have sex before marriage may rupture their Hymen long before they marry.

Tampon usage is number 1 on the list of rupturing the Hymen without even knowing. The first few insertions generally are painful enough that the tearing of the hymen and any bleeding that would come from it would be associated first usage of tampons. The other things I mentioned are all things that can dislodge the Hymen even something as innocuous as jumping rope.

Now as for your future husband being able to tell if you have ever had se before. Unless you tell him he will never know, even your doctor can't say for sure. The only thing a doctor can report is if you Hymen is intact. Unless you have had many sexual relations or relation in the near past to your wedding you will be tight enough That he be able to tell.

How bad is it to cheat on a test?

There is an old saying; "Cheaters never prosper." What this means is, in the case of a test. You may pass the test but what have you demonstrated to your teacher. By cheating are you demonstrating you have learned the material? Not really, all you have done is maybe gotten the right answer and maybe you pass the test.

What if you get caught cheating? If you are caught the teacher is going to punish you in some manner plus everyone will know you cheated including other teachers. No one will ever trust you, including other teachers.

So how bad is cheating? To me cheating is like beauty; it is in the eye of the beholder, the cheater). You may receive some temporary gain now but the one you are really cheating is not your teacher of the test but you're cheating yourself.

So now I ask you; is it bad to cheat on a test?"

i'm 12 and my bf is 13. my bf is more experienced than i am and he wants me to do stuff that i dont think i should cuz of my age and i'm not really ready for. i need help to know how to tell him that i'm not ready for that stuff. pleez and thank u if u can help

This question is probably the easiest one I have ever answered. Neither of you are old enough to be doing any of the things I believe your boyfriend wants to do and you are right in your belief to not want to do it.

The answer to your question is simple. You just say NO. You do not need to give him an explanation. If all he is interested in you for is to do sexual things with you he does not love you in the way you love him. The definition of his love for you would be that of the word LUST.

Teenage boys confuse the definition of love and lust mostly because of puberty. Because of puberty their need for sexual relief is stronger than for girls the same age. They will do or say almost anything to get their girlfriends to have sex with them or give them sexual relief.

On line boys use goes something like this; "If you love me you will have sex with me." Any boy or boyfriend that says anything like that to you DOES NOT LOVE YOU, THEY LUST FOR YOU. Their only interest is sex.

Once you say NO that is the end of the discussion. If they continue to try and coerces, harass or force you to have sex with them they are breaking the law. The first thing you do is tell your parents or a police officer. Yes, even someone as young as your present boyfriend can be arrested for doing these things.

My advice now is simple. Just say NO. If he continues to ask you to do these things you tell him to take a hike for he doesn't love you. If you does not take no for an answer tell your parents.

Can you pop you own cherry by masturbation?

Depends what you mean by "pop my own cherry."

Today’s definition of popping a cherry means losing one’s virginity. For that the accepted way to do that by definition is a males' penis must enter the females’ vagina.

If this is your question; then the answer is no; you cannot do so through masturbation.

If you are asking can you rupture your Hymen through masturbation? Then the answer can be yes depending how you masturbate and if you use your fingers or anything else to penetrate your vagina.

If you use tampon you may have already ruptured your Hymen.

I am 24/f. I recently moved out of my house and moved to graduate housing at my university. before i begin, i just want to give a brief description of my family. they are extremely controlling. my mother is absolutely nuts. she is a narcissist and i can tell you that she has ruined my life. both my parents are the most irresponsible people i have ever met in my life and how someone gave them a child is beyond me. i was adopted at birth. all of the paperwork and everything was set up before i was even born. she confessed to me that the reason the adoption finally went through is because she called continuously and harassed them until they gave her the child. i would like to meet the social worker who ruined my life. at this point in my life, i love them because hey are my parents. but, i don't LIKE them as people. i know it's hard for some people to understand. some of you have already read some of the things that i've written, but i will write it again for those who didn't. i need to add a couple more things that happened this weekend.

basically, my mom plays a great actress when she pretends that she wants what is best for me. she doesn't. she wants whatever makes her look good or has money. i am a person of great faith (i am just angry right now). i always thought that the reason that she didn't like my current boyfriend is because we don't share that same faith (we were already together before my conversion) and because she thinks that he didn't have money. She said that he "lacks drive" and just isn't her type. I get that she doesn't like him, but she threatened me several times. She said that if I stayed with him, I could just think of her as dead. You think that might solve the problem if she was just out of the picture, but that isn't true. her threat is just that... a threat... what it really means is that she will make my life miserable. she doesn't mean that she will stay out of my life... but rather, that she will stalk, harass, show up at my door. she even threatened that she was going to beat him up. everyone says to call the police. but, seriously, the police isn't going to do anything about a verbal threat. he has also threatened her because he got angry. so, both of them would be in trouble. i basically told my mom that we broke up, which isn't true. but, it got her off my case. she has been harassing me and harassing me about finding a new boyfriend. she says that she wants to live to see her grandchildren. so, i basically told her that there was a guy from class that i thought was cute, just to get her off my back. at first, she saw a picture of him and she said he was ugly and "forbid" me from seeing him. Then, a few weeks later, she was pretty much telling me that i better knock on his door and throw myself at him. I told her my "concerns" about him were that we didn't share the same strong beliefs and that he was poor ( i just wanted to see what she would say, since that was her gripe about my bf). She said it didn't matter because he was "hot."

The other day, I came back from church and told her I had seen a friend. She asked me if he was cute (the only thing she thinks about is hooking me up with a guy). I told her who it was. I'm here thinking that she would think that this was the perfect guy. The reason I am doing this, by the way is because I'm trying to test what it is she would want from me. what is her ideal vision for my life that I could have for her to leave me alone. this guy is a little bit older, makes a lot of money, we met at church. i was like... she's has to give a positive review. She threw everything on the floor and almost started punching me. she said she forbids me to ever see him and that he's not allowed in the house ever. so, i got in my car, and drove an hour back to my dorm because i said that this is not home if i can't even bring a friend here. additionally, i would like to add that this person has been a great friend. like, he has gone above and beyond what it means to be a friend and if i were a mother and witnessed that, i would be writing thank you notes instead of forbidding the person in the house. i told her that i wasn't angry about her not liking him. i really could not care less. what I'm angry about is the way that she treated me with a lack of respect. till today, she continues to call me to tell me that i am wrong and try to get me to see things from her point of view.

there is nothing to see. she doesn't want what is best for me. her judgement is clouded. however, she continues to control me because i'm living on campus, not in my own apartment. realistically, no matter how much is say i won't speak to her again, she weaves her way into my life. my entire family takes her side because she is "unwell" and i should "know better." they will come to my door and call the police if i chose not to answer. my mom will put herself in an institution just to make it more dramatic. and everyone will say i'm evil. they already do. apparently, i'm the cause of everyone's misfortune.

when my mom has been out of money... since she decided not to work for 20 years. the solution was to steal my identity. even before i turned 18, i had a ton of debt because she used it up. that debt was deleted, but no legal action was taken and no apology was issued. before i came to the faith, my family was involved in the occult. when my 17 year old boyfriend broke up with me, my mom's idea of making me feel so much better was taking me to a warlock who sexually abused me. when i have brought it up to her, she said that she was just trying to make me feel better. i told her that a mother is suppose to build up a child's self esteem, not make them want back a guy that did so much harm to them. she told my cousin about the incident and then they both laughed about it.... i don't think it's funny. and i hate when people say "it could be worse." Everything could be worse. try telling that to a child who was sitting there afraid, being sexually abused and people laughing about. i finally told my dad about it and he said he was angry at both of us. I was just a child and I made that very clear to him. he said my mom has always been very smart and he doesn't know what happened. by the way, my parents are divorced.

most of all, i feel like my dad is a coward who left me with this lady so that he could get away from her. then, everyone just tells me that she is my mom and wants what is best for me because she loves me. she does not love me. she is obsessed with me and thinks that i'm her little barbie doll. if she really did care about me, she would be trying to direct me towards a guy like the third one I mentioned. She would treat me with respect and not throw things at me and people have to stop her from punching me in the face. if she cared about me, she wouldn't steal my identity to buy clothes and then think it's justified because some of the clothes were for me. she wouldn't be laughing about happened to me. i was a victim. i'm so angry at both of them. they could take them to jail, fine them, put a restraining order on them... but honestly, they don't see what they have done wrong. that is what gets me angry. i feel like i am owed an apology. if i can't get that, i feel like i need validation from a jury... someone. i feel so alone. please help.

now, about her being irresponsible

I believe I answered your previous letter. In my answer then I told you that you were legally an adult and your family could not do the things you wrote about then. They still cannot do them today.

You need to take control of your life. If your relatives tell you that if you do not come to see your mother in the hospital or wherever that they will knock down your door and drag you out by your hair. If you believe they are capable of doing so and fear for your life and safety? Then their threat meats the legal definition of "Assault" and they can be arrested. This is also sufficient cause to get a protection order against any of then you believe would be involved. Should any of them start pounding on your door you call 911 and tell the call taker you have an order of protection against someone who is pounding on your door? This makes the call a priority call and officers will be dispatched to arrest them for violation of the protection order.

As for the other things with your mom, they are her problem not yours. What you do is send her a letter. In it you say "Mom I am grateful you and dad adopted me and gave me the opportunities in life that you have." "I will always love you for that, right now I do not like you very much for the way you are acting towards me; those are your problems not mine." "I am an adult and I am fully responsible for my actions" "If you don't like my boyfriend’s that's your problem, you don't like the way I dress again that's your problem, what I eat, who I chose to see and where I chose to go are all up to be and not subject to your review or approval." ""You harassing phone calls and showing up at my dorm unannounced must STOP and stop now today." "If they don't I will take the following action, !) I will get an order of protection prohibiting you from coming anywhere on campus. 2) I will notify you phone companies of your using the phone to harass me and ask them to turn your phones off."

"I do love you and I don't wish to take these actions." "Realize I am 24 years old and no longer a child that you need to protect or have a right to control." I"I would dearly love to have a proper mother daughter relationship with you." "If you force me to I will take the actions stated without hesitation or regret, the choice is yours."

Use your own words of course but this is what you have to do to take back your life. It is a form of tuff love in reverse.

Good luck

My dad died last week and I do not get along with my family, and this is something I've accepted for years now. From the outside, we looked like the perfect family, and everyone thinks I'm the sweetest, nicest, most perfect daughter. But in reality, I am the emotionally out of control black sheep in my family. I've never felt truly understood by them. At times in which I've felt suicidal throughout my life, they weren't there for me emotionally.Everyone keeps telling me how highly my dad spoke of me and how much he loved me, but all I can remember are our fights and horrible, hateful words toward each other, that most people who "know us so well" could never imagine. The two of us have had a very distant relationship since I'm 11 or 12. Now I'm 22. I have wonderful friends, thank god, who make me feel amazing but they live very far away. I feel totally and completely alone right now. Anyone who says things like, "blood is thicker than water.." and "family is everything" clearly can't know where I'm coming from, because honestly the most loving supportive people in my life are friends and teachers. Thankfully, I will be away from home next year. What can I do cope with this until then?

First my condolences on your loss.

I'm a little confused at what I'm reading. I see lot of anger here. Anger is one of the five stages of grief which is why I'm confused. Are you angry over losing your father or are you just plain angry at you family for the way you feel they have treated you.

I never got along with my father as he blamed me for whatever was wrong in his life. Nothing I could do about it except keep my distance from him when I realized there was nothing I could do about it. When he passed I did not suffer grief I was relieved.

You are right about "blood is being thicker than water" though it does not mean what you think it means. Good or bad they are your family and we do not get to choose them, it also does not mean we have to like them or even love them and I may just know a little about where you are coming from.

This all may straighten out in a year when you are away from them but that is too long to wait. Your friends are too far away to lean on for support. What you need is someone to lean on, who will support you, who will help you find the root cause of your anger, you may not realize the root cause, and help you channel it properly or it will follow you for the rest of your life.

The person best capable to do this for you and with you is a psychologist. If you are covered under moms health insurance or her employer has an EAP program you can see a psychologist under both programs. The psychologist is a person who can become that best friend you can tell your deepest secrets to confident that no one will ever hear them. With the help of the psychologist you will learn how to deal with your family and channel these feelings you have in a more constructive manner so that you don't feel as the "emotionally out of control black sheep in my family."

I want to know how to tell my parents that i am bi. All my Friends know But no one in my family does so how do i break the news to them?

To be honest with you at 16 years of age I would hold off telling your parents you are bisexual. Even telling your friends your bisexual was a bit premature.

It may very well be that you are bisexual and if you are there is nothing wrong with that. Some doctors and scientists are of the opinions that like Gays people that are bisexual are born this way. If you are truly bisexual you would have had these feelings long before you become sexually aware.

This is why I am saying you may be a bit premature in in labeling your sexuality. It is a rite of passage for teenagers as they become sexually aware daring puberty to experiment sexually with someone of their same sex. There are many different reasons for this among them are it is safer, parents do not questions two teenagers of the same sex being alone in the same room together or even sleeping in the same room together.

Fact is many parents try to forget that many if not most of us learned about sex thorough experimentation with the same sex. Now how far each of us went with these experimentations differs greatly depending on each of us and our partners we experimented with.

Before you tell your parents make sure you are truly bisexual. When you know for sure then embrace your sexuality for it is who you are. This will sound a little strange but; "You are who you are because you are who you are." as far as your sexuality goes you parents have nothing to do with how you ultimately manifest sexually as it is ingrained in you at conception. Remember that fact and try to calmly remind them of that fact when you do decide to tell them.

As to how to tell them? I have always found that being truthful and straight to the point is the best way. When the time is right sit them down and say; "Mom, dad I think you should know that I have found my sexuality to be bisexual." Then say no more and wait for their reaction.

I will offer this as well. If you know your parents to be avidly against homosexuality then it may be best to keep your sexuality in the closet. Why? As far as I'm concerned your sexuality is your business and given your parents feelings, if they are avidly against homosexuality. Then it is in your best interest to keep you sexuality unknown to them until you are old enough to move out and live on your own.

In a month and a few days I will be 24 years old. I have a boyfriend of four years, who I think is the perfect fit for me in so many ways. He stimulates me sexually, and I just love who he is as a person.

My ideal is for the two of us to be engaged and living together within a year or two, but there is something that is holding us back and it also hurts me because my favorite human in the world thinks that he is a horrible person for it. He has no drive, he suffers from incredible laziness.

This is affecting him with the 50 more pounds that he needs to lose, and with holding a job. Currently he's living with his mother, which is fine, he still has this semester and next semester before he gets to graduate.

Honestly, I blame his father for some of this shit. His father left him and his brother when they were two years old, and he chose drugs over them before he died when my guy was 15 years old. While my boyfriend's brother was always more independent, my boyfriend has always been dependent on people.

I know that my boyfriend is gaining greater self confidence in himself, and I'm so glad for it. Recently he took his shirt off during sex, which he has never done before. I was so happy, because I would constantly try to encourage him to fully get naked with me during sex.

For one, I feel like you're sharing all of yourself with a person, so why not let them see you naked? Personally, I have never had this issue, because all of the men who I have slept with have loved my body, and I actually find it uncomfortable to not take off your clothes.

Yet what's really upsetting me is that he tells me he's a shitty person, because he has no drive and he's lazy. I found out that he was let go from the two internships that he worked last summer for being too lazy.

I spoke to my 30 year-old best friend who was worse off than he is at his age. He told me that he became more driven because now he knows what he wants to do, which is work on his YouTube channel and create games. At one point, he went to architectural college and discovered that it wasn't really what he wanted to do.

How do I inspire my boyfriend to find his drive? The way that it's looking, this will affect me too as his future wife. I already know what I want to do, which is working in the analytical field, and my degrees will allow me to do this.

My boyfriend says that he wants to be a CPA, but yet he's offered internships, he finds himself slacking off in them. This is not good, because these positions might offer him full-time employment after college, which will be good for our future together.

I cannot tell you why your boyfriend is the way he is. What I can tell you or suggest to you is how to help him.

In general a lack of drive stems from a lack of self-esteem. From what you have written you have done well helping him with this and certainly his weight loss should have been a big help as well. From what you have written this is not a problem that he recently developed more likely one that has developed over many years. I would also not be surprised if he was not also suffering from some form of depression. Poor self-esteem and depression sometimes go hand in hand and become a vicious circle meaning you can't cure just one you must cure both.

While I believe you have been good for him and have helped him in many ways. Your boyfriend needs the type of help you can support but cannot give him. He needs professional help to get at the root cause of his self-esteem problem and possible depression if he is going to gain any form of self worth leading to the drive you want to see in him.

For this I suggest you suggest to him going one of two ways. The easiest is seeking out the help of a psychologist for talk therapy. The psychologist can treat both the depression and self-esteem problem through talk therapy but cannot offer, in many states, and medication to help kick start the recovery.

The psychologist is going to ask that your boyfriend have a complete physical to rule out any organic reason for his problem, This leads to the second way. You can start by suggesting he have a complete physical and while he is with his doctor he be screened for depression. You or he should also tell his doctor about his lack of drive and probable low self-esteem as your reason for requesting the screening. The screening is painless and is just question the doctor will ask. Should the doctor diagnose a form of depression see to it that you boyfriend follows his doctors instructions which should also include talk therapy.

Ok, so a little while back I started receiving text messages from a random guy asking for someone named Angie. I said I knew no one of that name and he starts asking me what my name is. My parents have always taughted me to be careful with who I give my name out to, so I said no. After a while he starts asking weird questions like if I like possums and have ever hit one, then started talking about my shoes and wanted me to send pictures. Naturally, I refused. He then started asking for numbers of girls in my contacts and asks a total of three times for my picture. All he knew was that I was sixteen, and kept trying to squeeze out information. Later that week when I was with my friends I told them about that, one said she heard of a lot of girls getting text messages from this guy, and my other friend asked me if he started asking questions about possums before I got to that part and said he's been texting girls the same thing asking for either a Margaret or Angie and then asking for pictures and contacts. My parents worry way too much and they would most likely have a heart attack if I told them, and I can't go to the police without my parents finding out so what should I do? I deleted all the texts and blocked him and also turned my location services off, so is it ok? It's been a while since this happened, and my neighbor is a cop so I'm not worried, but did I do the right thing? I did tell him about my neighbor being a cop when he wouldn't leave me alone.

I agree with Razhie you need to tell an adult. Since your neighbor is a Police Office I would think you could talk to him in confidence which is what I suggest you do.

There are a lot of creeps and perverts out there that lurk on the web trying to lore young girls to meet with them. You did the right thing an probably have nothing to worry about as you did not give out any information with which to find you with.

What about the next girl he happens to hook on to, she may not be as well trained as your parents have trained you to be? This is why you need to tell an adult like your neighbor who is a police officer. The more information you can give him the better chance his Cyber people have of tracing back to him and arresting him.

Your are lucky you have very caring parents who have taken the time to insure you do things safely. Not all young people have parents that are that caring. There is a saying the Indians have that goes something like this; "It takes village to raise a child." You are part of the village that raises those that are younger or less fortunate than you are. So pleas talk to your parents, talk to your neighbor and let them do what needs to be done to catch this pervert before he hurts someone.

will i b pregnent if my boyfriend fucked me from back side....my age is 19

If you mean you and your boyfriend did anal sex the answer is no. If you had vaginal intercourse in the doggie position then you can get pregnant if the sex was unprotected and you are not on birth control.

I started using triphasil since the 16 jan 2015 and have been taking it everyday at the same time..i then had unprotected sex on the 28 february 215 bt 2 days before that on the 26th feb my alarm never went off so i took my pill at 5.30 because i always take it at 5 everyday at the same time..i just want to make sure that if i will still get pregnant because i took the pill a few minutes later on that day but the next 2 days i took it at my usual time

A few minutes will not make a difference. The medication builds up in your system to keep it at its fullest effect you should try to take it at the same time each day. But a few minutes or even a few hours will not make a difference.

When you are ready to start a family you will find it may take 1 or 2 months before you can conceive. It will take that long before the full effect of the medication has left your body. Should you miss a day follow the manufacturer's directions on what to do if that happens.

My father has another wife and a kid in another country. He and my mom are not married but he comes over everyday for dinner when he's in the country which is most times and takes us out for dinner/vacations/everything a father does. He didn't tell me about this other wife and my sister. I found out on my own. I don't know what to do with it though. He's a great father. And I can't wrap my head around this. My mother knows but when she had me she didn't. He promised he'd marry her. But he didn't yet he still is around with her. He doesn't give her much money only when she really really needs it and even then its a loan. So she's not here for the money. Every weekend we go to his house and they don't sleep together they actually talk. Sometimes past midnight. So I'm guessing he loves her. But I can't fathom why he wouldn't marry her or divorce the other one. But I was hoping someone here can help me with it. I don't know what I should do with this information. What should I do with it? And also any ideas on why he's doing what he's doing?

I don't think you understood what I said to you. By law whether your father is a citizen of this country or not he is financially responsible for you until you are 18. He should be giving your mother money not loaning it to her. If your mother is unwilling to ask the courts for the legal papers required to make him pay child support; You are now old enough to ask the courts to do so. This is something you are entitled to by law.

I understand you love your father. I am a father myself and I do not understand how a man cannot live up to his financial responsibilities for children he fathers. No matter how much you may love him or he says he loves you; failing to live up to his financial responsibilities, in my eyes and the eyes of many fathers, make him a poor father and even less of a man. That is why I suggested you could take him to court IF YOU CHOSE TO.

The one thing that doesn't change with this information is that he is still your father and they are still your parents married or not. This is truly something that is between them. Most likely you are the result of an affair they had and to a certain respect he has not neglected his responsibilities to you as a father or to mom as the father of her child.

Where he is neglecting his responsibilities is in the area of child support. By law he is financially responsible for you until you're 18. The money he gives her should never be a loan but part of his legal responsibility to you and her. What mom needs to do is see a lawyer and have legal papers filed requiring him to pay child support as ordered by the courts and possibly support in the arrears to make up for what he hasn't paid.

If he fail to pay the support as ordered he can be denied entry into this country if he is a foreign worker or his passport can be revoked if he is a citizen of this country. His earnings if paid by a company of this country out of an account in this country can be attached as well.

You mother may be unwilling to do this or she and you dad may have come to an agreement or she may believe what ever he may have told her when you were born. Whichever is the case there is little or nothing you can do if mom is unwilling. You can not force them to marry. As I said to begin with you are most likely the product of an affair they had and there was never a marital interest to begin with.

You may be able to ask child services to intervene for child support if you are receiving any type of public assistance. Children and Family Services would want to go after your father for support if they can to recoup any money they have given your mom in the form of public assistance. This could take time and could involve legal charges against mom for making false statements to obtain public assistance if you are receiving any type of assistance.

You may be able to initiate legal proceedings for child support against your father. This would depend on the laws in your state. For this you would have to contact an attorney. First meetings with an attorney are of no charge and if the attorney is willing to take your case the attorney may be willing to do so with payment coming from the recovery of the child support.

Ok, so my parents are really strict when it comes to anything. Clothes, boys, even friends. Other teens have even asked me why my parents are so strict and that mine are way worse. They even have me homeschooled for that reason. I do go to church, but maybe four times a month, and my parents won't let me just hook up with some guy at the mall. They say he has to be a certain age, a certain religion, everything. I'm not around teens much, so I don't know how to flirt or get a guy to ask me out. I can talk to guys, but it makes me nervous. I wouldn't even know if he has a girlfriend or not, or how to handle rejection. Surprisingly, I found a guy that lives up to my parents expectations, but I don't know how to get him to ask me out. And I'm too shy when it comes to flirting. I'm a 16 year old girl and never had a boyfriend or first kiss, so it's really important to me. I know I'm not ugly, fat, or mean, I just don't know how to do this! Please tell me what to do🙏

Being home schooled you have missed the learning the social interactions that come with going to a public or private school. Social integration is a very important part of life as it also teaches you not only respect for other people but the rules one needs to know to be safe when out in the public areas of life.

Flirting and getting a boy to ask you out, sexual interaction is all part of growing up and comes with practice. As you grow especially during your teenage years you learn this by dating and going to social events and parties. You have missed this.

I'm sure your parents have their reasons for raising you as they are. For me to say to you that they are wrong would be wrong of me. They are though doing you a great disservice by not allowing you to bloom in the environment you will someday have to live and work in.

What I can suggest to you is to ask your parents to allow you to join some social clubs they may approve of. I'm fairly certain your church has a some form of teen clubs, be they Bible study or other types of clubs sanctioned by the church for the teenagers of the church.

These clubs are generally coed but well chaperoned by the church and the adult membership of the church. Because of this parents such as yours are willing to allow their children to attend events these clubs offer.

Even if you are reluctant to do so I suggest you do as you will gain the insight into what you have missed by not attending a more public school. You will have the opportunity to flirt and to meet boys your parents will most likely approve of.

You don't have to marry any of these boys but at least you will learn how to protect yourself when with a boy when you go off to college.

I went t0 the doctors and she said I had herpes she just looked at me and gave me meds but never did a real test on me.I have herpes. I gave it to this guy and now he's going to prosecute me. I have a two year old and I can't go to jail. I was raped perviously by another guy and was embarresed.I don't know who the guy was. I didn't know I had an out break. I take meds everyday. So does he have a case? I asked the doctor if it was illegal for me to not tell anyone she said no. I dunno if this is true. HE now has herpes. What do I do.

We are not Lawyers more importantly even if any of us were; we would need to know what State you live in as the laws differ from state to state.

Though I believe your doctor is probably correct I suggest you contact a lawyer to see if you can be sued in your state for this. Also understand prosecute does not always mean criminal trial. He can try to bring civil charges against you in domestic relations court. No jail time only a finding for compensatory damages. I have not heard of anyone winning this type of civil case or getting the state to take up a criminal case on something such as you have written about.

Still your best advice will come from an Attorney at Law. First visits with an Attorney are generally no charge while they evaluate you need for their service and if they will take your case.

how should i show my boovs to a guy????

By asking this question I believe you may be to young to be showing your Boobs, not boovs, to anyone except your doctor. So wait a few years before doing so.

So I was adopted by my grandma. My mom was in my life, though. Basically my mom and my grandma both raised me. Anyway, I'm 24 and I'm living in my own townhouse with my boyfriend in a completely different county. When I lived at home, I paid the bills and helped any way I could, because I lived in the house. However, now I have my own bills I need to pay. My grandma called me constantly asking for money to pay her such-in-such bill because she couldn't afford to pay it. I refused her once, and she would always bring up the fact she adopted me and that she raised me and that I owed her for it. Then, I end up having to go to court FOR her because the old landlord sued her and she refused to go. I'm now having to pay this debt to him because I was the one who showed up. Now, again, I'm having to go to court because of something she won't pay and won't go to. I tell her that I shouldn't have to go, and she, once again, brings up the fact that she raised me and that I owe her for it. It makes me feel so horrible. I didn't ask to be born, why does she keep doing this to me? And not only that, but it is getting me and my boyfriend into HUGE fights. What can I do about this?

If it is not your bill DO NOT GO TO COURT FOR IT. Unless your name is on the bill you are not responsible for it and do not need to go to court to answer for it. I'm not sure how you were made responsible for the landlords payment by going to court for your grandmother it wasn't you debt in the first place. If I were you I would contact an attorney to see if you can get out from under that one.

Unless you are named on the Court filing or must appear as a witness you are not required to be in court for any actions against your mother or grandmother. If your name is not on this filing do not go.

As to being obligated to pay these bills because you were adopted. NO. No child is responsible for their parents obligations. Be that child the parents natural born child or an adopted child. In the most recent mortgage crisis Banks have tried to go after children and other family members to recoup their losses and have been forced to return any moneys collected by the courts in most states where they have tried this. Even for student loans unless a parents name appears on the loan application the parent is not held responsible for the students failure to pay. I know because my sons loan fell into default and they never tried to get me to pay his loans.

Do not let mom or grandma bully you or coerce you through guilt to pay their bills for them. If you can afford to and wish to is one thing. If you cannot afford to and would cause you to default on any of your bills then you tell them you can't help them. Your credit and good credit rating has to come first.

Should you decide to help your grandmother or mother do not give them cash or a personal check. Get a cashiers check from the bank and make it out to the company it is going to. I once loaned my son some money to pay a debt to pay a bill and that company used my check as authorization to debit my checking account for future payments. We settled for them cancelling his debt and a written promise never to do that to anyone else. So if you ever loan them money do so with a cashiers check made out to whatever bill you are paying.

13/f.Ummmm,I am in the 8th grade and one of my good friends some way have gotten pregnant. My friend doesn't know that my bestfriend and me know that she is.My best friend had to do some for my friend on her fb page because her phone is going to be off. So she told her to text her boyfriend that her phone is going to be off. My Best friend just have texted me sending me pictures of the messages between my friend and her bf talking about abortions and if she is going to keep the baby. Her child's mother talked to her too. Right now my most concern is like I know that its like we invading her privacy,but I need an adult advice. I want to tell my mother,but my mother would most likely make me stop talking to her or hanging with her. But now I don't know how I'm going to face her in school tommrow. Also,she told me many times that her father child use condoms,but it seem like they don't. So please tell me what to do. THANK TOU!

She is 13 and having sex that's the first problem. She is way too young and this is the usual result of two young people having sex. They may have used condoms but if not used correctly they don't work. Even when used correctly they are less 85% effective in preventing pregnancy.

The next problem is when her parents find out. By law she has no say over her reproductive system until she reaches the age of 14. Neither she, her boyfriend or his parents have any say only her parents have any say as to whether she has an abortion, keeps the baby or puts it up for adoption.

The best thing you can do for your friend is to tell you mother. If your mother knows her mother I would expect you mom will have a conversation with her mom. Pregnancies can=not be hidden for long unless the girl is grossly overweight. If her parents decide on an abortion which is legal up to 27 weeks. The longer they wait the more dangerous for the mother they become.

I've never been close with my dad, ever. We've always argued. It's probably because we're so similar. I got my anxiety and depression from him, so I guess that's probably because I take my anger out on him aswell.

We argue literally every day. 98% of the time is something negative. I do admit that I call him stupid, annoying, etc. out of anger (I have anger issues). He'll always say that I'm rude, annoying, even sometimes say I'm a bitch (Or that I'm acting like one). It doesn't get physical obviously. Usually I just get mad, go to my room, and slam my door. I am in my room 99.8% of the time. He just makes me so mad. He has a short fuse too. Even asking him a question will make him burst into flames. It's ridiculous. If I ever try to talk about it or say "You need to stop that" or whatever, it just gets awkward and he gets annoyed over it and blames it on me. I always raise my voice and it just gets bad. I don't know how to stop this without getting help or talking to him. Should I go awhile not talking to him?

Without knowing your age it will be hard for me to give you any advice. What I can tell you is I could have written this letter when I lived at home with my father. Like you the best I could do was avoid him as much as possible.

For reasons I didn't learn until I was much older he blamed me for many of his failures in life. I was always wrong and he was always right. It wasn't until I joined the Air Force that he saw me as a man and things got a bit better between us. But not for long, eventually after seeking help for depression and finding he was the root cause of my depression I broke all ties with him after my mother died. He died a broken lonely old man.

I know this doesn't help you but what I am attempting to show you is you're not alone. We don't get to chose our parents. Not all families are like the ones that use to be portrayed on television.

His constant yelling and screaming at you could be seen as mental abuse which would be seen as child abuse. You could talk with a trusted teacher or your school principal. IF they feel your home life is detrimental to your well being there are actions they must take to intercede.

My son and I have a much better relationship than I had with my father. When we do have a disagreement he reminds me he is the one who will be choosing my nursing home. I remind him I am the one spending his inheritance. Of course this is just away for us to joke between us. But you and any siblings you have will have that responsibility some day. My sister chose the Adult living center she put my father in which became his nursing home. It wasn't the best it was what he could afford as neither she or I felt obligated to pay for better. When you're older you might want to remind your father of this fact.

23/f

I'm not really sure how to express myself right now I just want to vent to someone to listen. I come from a loving family and could get whatever I possibly wanted. But I sometimes feel so sad that I am going no where in life I always feel everything is my fault. I care about people before i care about myself. I would kill myself to save another person. Growing up I can remember this would happen and I think it is getting worse. Whenever I do something wrong and I make someone angry I start hurting myself when I get in a fight with my boyfriend I start punching myself and pinching my arm I slap myself across the face and I tell myself how useless I am and how my mother should have never had me. Is this normal? I don't know if I want to express my feelings to my family about this. I don't want to be put into a physc place and I feel like if I say something people are going to think I'm dramatic. I just needed someone to vent to about this. No one knows about these. I often think about cutting myself but I don't think I have the courage to take something and cut myself with it. What's wrong with me?

No what you write about is not normal and we are not doctors so we cannot make a definitive diagnoses. You may be suffering a form of depression that has caused you to have a low self-esteem as well. This is called clinical depression and is generally caused by a hormone imbalance easily corrected with replacement hormones.

Now because these hormones are secreted into the part of the brain the control depression your family doctor may refer you to a psychiatrist to medicate you. This does not mean you're crazy the referral is because of the fact that the medication or hormones affected are secreted into the brain a psychiatrist is the best trained MD to medicate.

The hormone imbalance is only part of the problem. Something else triggered the anxiety, the suicidal thoughts and the other self harm thoughts you are having which all relate to the depression. For this you will most likely be referred to a psychologist for talk therapy. This is the person you are looking for. The person you can safely vent to with your most secret thoughts in the knowledge they go no further than the therapy session for they are confidential between you and the therapist.

My suggestion is as follows: First see your family Care Doctor for a complete physical while with the doctor ask to be screened for depression. Remember you are an adult now so everything between you and your doctor is confidential. The doctor needs written permission from you to share your medical information with anyone including your parents even if you are still on their medical insurance.

The physical is to rule out any organic problems for your problem. The screening for depression consists of the doctor asking you questions from which the doctor can make a diagnoses. Once the doctor made a diagnosis follow the doctor's instructions.

Should you feel suicidal or feel like you must hurt yourself in any manner before you see your doctor either call 911 for help or go to the nearest hospital emergency room for help.

There is o reason to suffer with whatever the problem is as help is just a phone call away. Statistically 1 in 3 of us will suffer from some form of depression in their lifetime. So this too is nothing to be ashamed of for as I said help is there for the asking. I know this for I could have written this letter before I asked for help for my depression.

so, I have been friends with tracy for 15+ yrs and thought our friendship was a close one. ( she lived with my family for over a year when I was over the road truck driving). her daughter is getting married in july and dress fitting is this week. tracy and I haven't been talking lately and im chalking it up to her boyfriend.
you see, tracys boyfriend jeff wants to go to her daughters wedding. seeing jeff up close and personal and dealing with him for a week at another vacation we had taken. I really don't think this is the guy for her. he is an alcoholic and talks to tracy like crap whenever he drinks too much. I don't like it and wont put up with that at her daughters wedding. I don't know if I even want to go knowing he is going to be there and up tracys ass the whole time. she wants to introduce him to her parents ( dad recovering alcoholic from many moons ago). I don't think this is a smart decision. what to do

Being the long time friend that you are I believe you should attend the wedding if for no other reason than to insure that the Daughters wedding is not ruined by Jeff.

It may be possible between you and Tracy's father, him being a recovering alcoholic that the two of you can point out that which she is love blinded too. Most importantly though is her daughters wedding be the wedding the daughter wants and not ruined by someone who gets belligerent when he drinks.

With you and the grandfather their to keep and eye on Jeff and remove him before he ruins the wedding. Then hopefully Tracy's daughter will have the day she has dreamed of.

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