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i'm not really ready
i'm 12 and my bf is 13. my bf is more experienced than i am and he wants me to do stuff that i dont think i should cuz of my age and i'm not really ready for. i need help to know how to tell him that i'm not ready for that stuff. pleez and thank u if u can help
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You are definitely too young to do whatever it is you are talking about, maybe tell him that it's because he's older you aren't as ready as him and you want to wait, tell him it's not because you don't like him. Also if he is not ok with waiting he is a bad boyfriend anyways and you shouldn't go out with him
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The other advice you got is what I would say too, just adding some things. Boys at your age have anatomy that reminds them of sex all the time and they can get erections several times a day even if not thinking about girls. It comes with the territory. Unfortunately for the females, young boys want to try out their equipment with a girl rather than just learn to masturbate for now until older. All guys will experience this phenomena but some learn self control and can be satisfied with just becoming a girls close friend and enjoying simply her nearness in friendship. Thats what you should aim for. Young men are driven more by lust than love as girls hope. They can easily fall for a guy and young women going through puberty are very susceptible to male attention at this age. All teens worry about acceptance sure, but I am talking about a special role Dads could play in building their daughters self esteem. I sought out my Dad more at this age, it was not romantic or sexual, just wanting to have male compliments and attention and support which is self esteem building. You can get all of that from friendship with a male your age without kissing and sex or anything in between. Too many Dads dont catch on or are absent alot so girls naturally turn to guys their age for this. And as far as I know, other than maybe transgenders, all girls automatically go thru this stage to some extent. Many aren't aware it even exists. And this 'need' is what breaks a young girls resistance down when a guy keeps asking her to do things she doesn't want as she actually 'Needs and craves' male attention.
I know you'll probably lose quite a few chances with hot looking guys if you say no. They'll go pester another girl whose looks they like because, pay attention now, "It's not about them pleasing you or showing you that they are in love with you by treating you with respect and trying to please you" it's all about themselves and taking care of their sexual itch and some want to learn about what sex feels like and gain some experience. I know its probably too embarassing to ask adults what sex was like for them the first couple times, so I shall tell you as I've spoken to plenty who aren't shy to discuss the topic and for both men and women, sex in the beginning is not memorable (for 9 out of 10), actually pretty bad due to being naive, immature. Prior experience at that age means nothing. Every one can figure where the parts go which is all that young boys know but there is a lot more to love making than that and it's a learn as you go type of thing that you'll want to do with a guy who has deep feelings for you and you for him. I am not talking about a strong attraction to looks, for someone you've gotten to know well as a friend while at the same time, though there is a natural draw to want to kiss and go further, you both are willing to wait until you are older because you do care alot about each other. There are teen girls who do find guys like that. And if they do, I find it's not bad if they are older, like 15 on up. You'll want to get on birth control and not trust just condoms for that and Planned Parenthood will help teens with that but do have an age where they feel the person is too young. First love with sex is really only better when exploring it when you are ready and the guy cares deeply about you. then you both can explore things together and even study with books or online to learn different ways to give each other pleasure. Learn foreplay.
The best thing to say is something simple and to the point. "I am not ready to explore those things but when I am, my first time will be with a guy who loved me enough to wait a couple years." gOOd luck dear.
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Be honest with him. If he wants to do stuff your not comfortable with, remember--you don't have to do it. I know it's hard to say no because your afraid of what he will think, but if he gets mad about you not wanting to go all the way, then he isn't worth your time. He would only end up hurting you. If he's truly an understanding guy, then he will accept that your not ready yet and feel too young and will give you time and let you wait till your ready. Let him know, that when people sex, girls are the ones who will get found out. Guys may never get caught, but girls lose something when going all the way, and uncles there is a condom, they can very we'll end up pregnant. Tell him the truth, and hopefully he will understand
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This question is probably the easiest one I have ever answered. Neither of you are old enough to be doing any of the things I believe your boyfriend wants to do and you are right in your belief to not want to do it.
The answer to your question is simple. You just say NO. You do not need to give him an explanation. If all he is interested in you for is to do sexual things with you he does not love you in the way you love him. The definition of his love for you would be that of the word LUST.
Teenage boys confuse the definition of love and lust mostly because of puberty. Because of puberty their need for sexual relief is stronger than for girls the same age. They will do or say almost anything to get their girlfriends to have sex with them or give them sexual relief.
On line boys use goes something like this; "If you love me you will have sex with me." Any boy or boyfriend that says anything like that to you DOES NOT LOVE YOU, THEY LUST FOR YOU. Their only interest is sex.
Once you say NO that is the end of the discussion. If they continue to try and coerces, harass or force you to have sex with them they are breaking the law. The first thing you do is tell your parents or a police officer. Yes, even someone as young as your present boyfriend can be arrested for doing these things.
My advice now is simple. Just say NO. If he continues to ask you to do these things you tell him to take a hike for he doesn't love you. If you does not take no for an answer tell your parents.
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