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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

I started to have a crush on my cousin but he's gay. I feel like I can talk to him about anything, that's why I like him. Is it a sin to go out with your cousin? Were not,gonna have sex just dates and stuff. Please help. I'm only 14.

Some people might tell you it is a sin to date your cousin. I would say as long as the date is strictly platonic there is nothing wrong with the two of you dating each other.

When I was a bit older than you I had a cousin my same age. When one of us needed a date for an evening and did not have one we would help the other out by being their escort, if we could. We did this often enough that for major family events such as weddings we were not given the option of plus one until we were in our twenties. The host simply paired us up.

My advice is don't worry about what others might say. If you enjoy his company then go out with him. He is a safe date for you and you for him.

For awhile I've been giving advice, not only on here but to family and friends . My mom and other people love told me that i should start a blog. And for awhile, I've actually feel like i could have alot of fun doing a blog. But i don't even know where to start. Anyone who has a blog or just any helpful suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!

Go to http://www.worldpress.com This is a site for bloggers. It is a free blog that you can also link to your Facebook account. It is a great first step to blogging. The site has hints and prompts as to how to set up your page for what you wish to blog about. Also they will show you how to get your message out.

20\f. Sexually active - yes. Only contraception used - condoms.

Over the last week I have noticed a bump on the lower inside of my vagina, it doesn't hurt, but can be lightly tender at times, I cant tell if its got bigger. I also bleed after intercourse, when I never use to. No funky discharge or smells.

I dont know if this has anything to do with it, but I came of my period unusually quick, and it was very heavy and extremely runny.

Sometimes the area seems to swell slightly, becoming more tender.

Any ideas on whats going on?

We are not doctors and we should not be making medical diagnoses.

When it comes to unusual lumps anywhere on your body, especially on your breasts or in or around you vagina, they need to be seen and examined by a doctor. Most lumps are just what they appear to be, a lump of fatty tissue. Sometimes though they are more than just fat and need to be excised or treated in some manner before they become a bigger problem.

My suggestion is you make an appointment with your gynecologist and have this lump looked at. Since you used the term "pence" I assume you are from Great Britain and have National Health Insurance or private insurance to cover the doctor’s visit. If so you have no reason not to see a doctor.

The fact that it bleeds after intercourse suggest you should not have sex until after you see the doctor and you should consider seeking medical treatment at a Hospital ER if you cannot see your doctor in a reasonably short time.

Hi im mia from Dubai I'm 27 yrs old Can I get pregnant if we both release? Me and my boyfriend sex last month and my period should come this August 10 but until now I don't have it . He think when I go to pee i will not get pregnant he come three times and I come also. How big is the possibility to get pregnant ? But I drink oral contraceptives after two days having sex and its my first time to try thank you I need some advice

The chances are high that you are pregnant if you had sex during the 14 days that the possibility of conception is high during your cycle. This is the middle 14 days between periods on a 28 day cycle for about 85% of women.

If you are not on birth control and did not use a condom while having sex during this period then you may have conceived a child. It is during this time of each month that most women will ovulate and eject an egg for fertilization.

You say you drank oral contraceptives 2 days after you had sex. Unless this was what we call the Plan B Pill it probably was not a high enough dosage to cause a disruption in the pregnancy.

There is also a high probability that your period is late because of stress. You being worried that you are pregnant is enough stress to cause a missed period. More women miss periods over stress than actually being pregnant.

What I suggest is if it is possible to get a home pregnancy test that you do so and follow the directions for testing. Should it come out positive wait ten days and test again as these kits are prone to false positives if you test too early. should the second test be positive then you need to see a doctor for a medical test.

So I'm a strong Christian and I'm 15 and going to be a sophomore. I have been a Christian for years. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months and he is a Christian also (17 and senior). As Christians we don't believe in marriage before sex but we have already been to third base together even though we say we won't go further. Is that too far? Inside I feel like it is but I don't know how to slow down sexual but keep up in the relationship. What should I do?

As you can see we all seem to be of one mind here that this is your body and no one, should tell you how far to go. This is something you have to decide for yourself.

What I will say and I say this as a very liberal grandparent when it comes to sex and sexuality is this. You will know when the time is right to move from one place to the next and when it is time to give yourself to a boy. Right now at your age is not the time. Not so much because you are too young, which is one reason, but for the most important reason of all RESPECT?

Boys your age and many into their early twenties confuse lust and love. To them the two are synonymous. To boys sex is an alternative, a better alternative, to masturbation. They are constantly horny because of the hormones of puberty which makes them what sex all the time. They will say anything to get a girl to have sex with them including shaming them by saying something like; "If you love me you will have sex with me." Any boy that tells you something like that does not love you he lusts for you.

While sex is an expression of love it is not the way to prove your love for someone. In fact if a boy uses that type of line on a girl it is actually sexual harassment which is illegal. Once you say no to sex any type of sex, which would include allowing him to finger you, it is sexual harassment. If he does not stop or forces himself on you, even to try and finger you it is rape.

Making out is part of the rite of passage of the teenage years. You decide how far you want to go, not the boy. You decide based on your readiness, you’re upbringing and you religious morals if you wish. No one not me not any of us can tell you what or where to draw the line; that has to be your decision.

If you wish to be a virgin when you marry that is your decision and do not let anyone talk you out of it. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin when you marry. Your virginity is a very special gift. One your husband will appreciate and one teenage boys see as nothing more than a notch on their belt that many high school boys’ plays as a game to see how many girls the can deflower. Your virginity means nothing to them.

So I'm a very nice peron and I'm straight forward so this is how the story goes my Bff (Bri) and me were in a fight with A boy named Max and so we went to the keys and we're on vacation together and we were sitting in the Jacuzzi and I brought the subject up because this is what my grandmother had her and told me I told her straightforward "Brianna I have to tell you something "Brianna goes " what's wrong "? "I tell her that Max's dad had told us that her dad Tony wasn't right for her mom Tess and I thought everything was OK nothing was bad but then all of a sudden she's ignoring me for some reason nobody's talking to me NOBODY!! And then I'm put in the group chat with Bri and max and they think I was lying and I wasn't I don't like to liievand they told her parents and the parents are now extremely mad at me and I don't know what to do anymore and I made up with Bri and Max but Their parents hate me to death!' And I don't Know what to do because I'm not lying and neither is my grandma and I don't want us to fight anymore!! Please help me!!

Hi. I'm 15 years old and a sophmore. Two summers ago I got into a casual relationship with a guy 3 years older than me. What I didn't know about him before hand was that he was depressed and suicidal. He trapped me into getting in a relationship with him that I never wanted, making me think that if I didn't he would kill himself. I talked him out of suicide 3 times, each I was balling on the floor usually cutting with a razor. Nobody knows I did that. He also had anger issues. Very bad ones. One minute he would say he loved me, the next he would tell me I'm a selfish b*tch and worthless and should die and should go to hell etc. I cut more because of it. He made me insecure about my weight and i went from 138 pounds to 10p and im 5'6." I was anorexic, eating only a few bites a day, and a far from accurate view of my appearance. I thought I looked fat when I was stick thin. I felt worthless. But I got throught it. I got through all of it, entirely on my own. It was the worst year of my life but I have learned so much from it. I want to share my story, to encourage others or just so I won't feel like I'm hiding my past from the world but I'm scared and don't know how. Help!

There are any number of different ways you can share this story and do so anonymously.

1. This is the type of story you could write to any of the national advice columnist almost exactly as you have written to use. It is they type of story I believe all would publish. The one thing I would suggest you could add is what was the one thing that caused you to see the light and turn your life around before it was too late.

2. This is also a story where we would ask you to be brave and tell it to others for your not alone in this type of fight. There are many others in it as well. I would think if when school opens you went and spoke to your guidance counselor or your school Principal this would be an issue they would like to have your help in dealing with.

3. Lastly I would suggest if your parent do not know about this that you tell them. While you have do a terrific job on your own. I'm sure they were worried during the time you were suffering. By telling them what was happening during that time you will lift a great weight form their shoulders a weight that will I'm certain pay many dividends to you in the future.

4. There are any number of groups for people that suffer from anorexia and low self-esteem that could use your story to help others.

5. Most every community has a crisis intervention center. Your story would be of great help to them in dealing with those who contact them for help. Consider calling the crisis center in your town and possibly volunteering to help as well.

In closing let me say I'm old enough to be your grandfather. When I finished reading your story I was very proud of you for being able to help yourself. In the future if something like this should ever happen again be you still be in your teens or be you an adult. Do not be afraid to reach out for help.

Help is never any further away than your phone. You can call 911 or a crisis center. No one will think badly of you and the help is always confidential. One other thing to remember; there is no such thing as a problem to large as there not to be a solution for. Someone someplace will have the answer or the solution.

Enjoy your Sophomore year of school.

I'm a 13 year ok going on 14 and I'm at a music and Christian camp in jersey at the moment. I haven't whacked off in a month and now my hormones are raging. In my mind I think about having sex with campers or porn and i think why now why at camp especially a Christian camp. I don't wanna masterbate here but I have to do something please help.

Contrary to what you may be being told it is not a sin to masturbate. So go find a nice quiet place where you won't be disturbed and take care of your hormones.

Masturbation is a safe and healthy way to relieve the sexual tension brought on by puberty. The reasons parents and the religious elders tell you different is the fear that once you start masturbating you will want the real thing. The problem is with or without masturbation there will come a time that you will want to have sex. Masturbation will help you delay that time until you are old enough and mature enough to have adult sexual relations.

A point of fact that might make thing easier for you. According to a recent poll 85% of us masturbate, this includes adults. In fact as part of foreplay prior to sex people usually indulge in what is called mutual masturbation. This is where the female gives the male and HJ and the male fingers the female. Fingering of a female by herself or another is masturbating. Giving a male an HJ is masturbating him.

As I said go find some place where you won't be disturbed and take care of business. You will feel better and be able to enjoy the remaining weeks of camp.

How to convince my g.f. for sex

When you have to convince someone to have sex in legal terms it is called sexual harassment and regardless of your age it is against the law and you could be arrested. Once someone tells you NO to any sexual advances you make; you must STOP. ANY FURTHER EFFORT ON YOUR PART TO CONVINCE THAT PERSON TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT.

It is really just that simple. When it comes to sex it is far easier to break the law then it is to run the bases with a young girl who may or may not have had any sexual relations yet. I am of course assuming you and the young lady are both young teenagers since you have not given your age and this question is asked a lot by those in the 13 to 16 age bracket.

All it takes is for her to say something to a friend like; "Billy is all hands and I can't get him to stop" or All Billy wants is for me to have sex with him." The friend says something to her mother who then calls your girlfriends mother. Next thing you know there is a police officer at your door. If you think I'm wrong read the newspaper it happens quite often.

The best advice I can give you is this. Stop trying to convince her to have sex with you. If you like her and want to keep her as your girlfriend then masturbate to relieve the sexual tension. If all you’re looking for in a girlfriend is someone to have sex with. Then find a girl who may be more willing to have sex with you. Whatever you do: DO NOT SAY TO HER HAVE SEX WITH ME OR I'M LEAVING YOU. That statement or anything like it is in and of itself sexual harassment.

My bestfriend and I went to college and he took the easy way. The median of his salary when he graduates is around 40k while mine is 90k, I warned him about this and he told me that its ok. Now I was trying to observe both his and my experiences.

On his first month, he and his new friends went to mount rushmore for four days. Then their second year was even more of a blast, they went to paris.

Now I have many things to be jealous about, I know I'm not supposed to be feeling this way since I have a bright future ahead, since I never get grades any lesser than 98, but he just seems to have so much fun.

Here are the things im jealous about:
1.) How much fun he has on his studies
2.) How much friends he has
3.) He's my bestfriend, I should've been there the first time he rode a plane, but he has other friends with him.

First about number 3 on your list: This is typical of high school friends. When high school friends go off to college they make new friends, friends with the same interests as theirs. You said it yourself. Your interest and his started to change when you both left for college. He is interested in just getting by taking easy course and it appears having a fun experience while in college.

You on the other hand are more grounded in the reality of what is the best course for you and your future family. You have chosen to take full advantage of what college has to offer you. Yes you will be giving up some of the social aspects of college, in the end though he will be the one who will be jealous.

Right now he is enjoying life while you work hard. When college is over you will be enjoying the perks of your sacrifice while he works harder just to get by. He will be the one jealous of what you have and what you are now getting from life as you will have the time and the money to do all things he did in college plus all those things he might never get to do unless he goes back to school to get the education he pissed away.

I'm not going to say you should not be jealous. Sure he is doing fun things while you’re back in school slaving away over your studies. What I am saying is put your jealousy in the right perspective which is what I pointed out to you. It will come full circle and he will be the one jealous of you. For you will ALWAYS be able to do what he can no longer afford to do.

High school friends are just that. Few if any high school friends remain friends for life. We start to lose these friends after high school as are lives go off in different directs. Some of us go off to college; some go into the military while some stay home and find a job.

There is an old saying you can never go home again. I could not afford college so I joined the military and went to college while in the Air Force. I never understood what was meant by the saying; "You can never go home again;" until I came home on my first leave. All my friends seemed to have changed. Looking back on it did they change or did I.

In actuality we all changed because we all matured differently as we were all seeing the world a bit differently. This my friend is what is happening to you today. Stay in touch with this friend if you can but use what free time you have to make new friends, friends that you have a common interest with. For when you go home things will look a lot different and he will be different as well.

I just want your opinion.
Who are to blame for child deliquency The Parent or The Government??

Both. Parents do not parent the way they should they rely too much on others to parent for them. This is true of both the affluent and the poor.

The government also is at fault for placing too much emphasis on issues that do not is not the government's responsibility. An example is the recent case of the government intervening in how some parents allow their children to walk unaccompanied to a park about a mile from their home. They called this child endangerment. Yet children of the same age are allowed to walk the same distance to school.

Children no longer play by themselves everything has to be arranged for them and supervised such as play dates. If not the parents could be in trouble with the law for not supervising their children. When I was young, during the summer and on non school days when the weather was nice you had your breakfast and you were sent outside to play. You came home for lunch and you went back outside until dinner.

No one supervised us. We went to the school yard or a corner lot and played ball. We rode our bikes. We built forts in the back yards and played Army. If you did something wrong any of your friends parent on the block could punish you.

No one called the police for minor infraction or even major ones. If we broke a window for by playing ball where we should not have been. Our parents pooled their funds to pay for the repair. We were given chores to do to pay for the funds our parents paid to fix the window. Simple crime and punishment adjudicated on the spot by the parents. No judges no police officers; parents parented their children.

I what to know the side effect of XASTEN DRUG?

xasten is a steroid used to treat a large variety of medical conditions. The drug also has a long list of side effects that you may or may not experience. The list is too long to copy here. Below is a link to a website that lists all the side effects know to be caused by this drug.

http://www.drugs.com/sfx/dexamethasone-side-effects.html

I am in a committed relationship (3yrs) and we have a 16 month old son together. I love him more than anything. We have a couple issues but are open and communicative about them. One is that he is a workaholic and his current job requires minimum of 12 hour days. The second issue is that he had a low sex drive where as mine is insatiable. Add that to the fact that he's never home and our love life is pretty much nonexistent.
I met a guy and he has become my best friend. He is an amazing person. I know that he is not someone I would likely end up with but I can't help but feel this insanely strong attraction to him. I don't want to cheat but I am finding myself wanting to spend all my time with him and I desire to be intimate with him. How do I deal with this feeling without losing a life long friend? Chances are it's just a crush and will fade but until then how do I prevent something from happening. My willpower is fading quickly.

Workaholic's in general do have a low sex drive. Sometimes it is because of fatigue and sometimes it is for other reasons. Not everyone is a workaholic by choice. sometimes it is thrust upon them by their employer and other times it is a cover up for something else.

You have had a child together so I can assume you have had some type of sex life together. Did he have a higher sex drive before you became pregnant? This is an important question. As is this one; Was this pregnancy planned by both of you or an accident?

If the answer to both questions is yes then there are two thoughts on this. He may be working hard to insure his family's well being. In so doing he may be unknowingly damaging his health. Try and get him to see his doctor for a physical and ask the doctor to test him for low T. If his Testosterone level is low so will his sex drive be.

If the answer is yes and no to the question then the problem is more complex and might require the intervention of a therapist. If this was an unplanned pregnancy then he may fear having intimate relations for fear of fathering another child. He may not even admit this to himself but in the back of his mind this is a real possibility.

Having fatherhood thrust upon him before he is ready can and will put a crimp in a man's' libido. He If this is the case and he is standing by you and the baby he is doing the right thing. By doing the right thing it is affecting his need and desire for intimacy and he covers it up by overworking. This is where a therapist, a clinical psychologist can be a big help to both of you.

As to you and the crush you have on this other man. The best way I know to stop something from happening between you two, if will power alone is not enough, is to stop seeing him. Put as much distance as possible between you. With distance comes safety.

Based on the answers to the questions I've asked you will know what direction to take in order to help the father of your child and the man you love the most. If the answer to the questions I have asked is the yes no answer you can start seeing a psychologist by yourself and have the therapist help you bring him into the sessions.

If the pregnancy was a complete accident, birth control does have a failure rate. Condoms are only 85% effective. Birth control has a small failure rate and sometimes passion gets ahead of us and we fail to use a condom once. It is not one person's fault that you got pregnant.

Still if he was not ready to be a father this could be his problem. This is something he may not be able to or willing to talk to you about though a skilled therapist will be able to get him to talk about it and help him deal with things better.

I've been dating my older boyfriend for 4 years. He had commitment issues (took him 2 years to actually say I love you) because he was hung up on his ex-wife and wouldn't admit it. Two years ago, she died (cancer). He says he is complete and over her, yet I found a poem he wrote her recently saying how he loves her, and how he does everything in his day to make her proud, and how she's his best friend, and he can't wait till he sees her again. We had a fight about it, he said he wrote it so his girls could read it so it would help them. But he put I love you at the end.. and what was in it discredited me. Saying he did everything for her and still loves her, and nothing past tense. He still has her death card on the fridge after 2 years, her name is STILL on his taxes, water bill, and checks, and keeps a statue she wanted thats sitting in the breezeway. I've told him please remove her from his bills, please get rid of the statue IF it means nothing to him as he claims. and remove her pic off the fridge as it's been long enough and she should come down. He hasn't done anything. He hasn't made a move to really be present with me right here today. I feel like an outcast because he hasn't sat with his girls and said I'm in a committed relationship and it's important to me, and then actually made me a part of household decisions. He's a good man, we do have fun together, I know he loves me and cares about me. But is that enough? Am I overreacting to wanting him to remove HER from off the fridge and just be present to "our" life? He knows how much those things bother me and yet hasn't done anything about it..doesn't that show that he's not fully committed to me or to us? I just want to be happy but every time I go see him.. I'm reminded of HER right in my face and how much he loved her and still does.. even though I've been here 4 years! Am I wrong? Am I being too selfish and unreasonable? I don't know anymore.

Are you being unreasonable? The answer is yes and no depending on different factors. One thing that significant others of divorced men and women need to remember is that when children of that marriage are a factor the ex will always be the third person in the relationship. Even when that ex is deceased he or she remains in the relationship because of the children's presents. It is the ex's responsibility to raise the children to remember and honor with love and fondness the deceased parent. This is where you could be being unreasonable.

Now I am not a doctor and definitely not a psychiatrist or psychologist so I cannot say with any certainty why your BF has the feeling for his ex that he has. My best guess is some type of guilt that the divorce may have caused cancer that took her from them. Also people grieve in many different way. While two years may seem like a long time it may not especially if he somehow feels responsible. This would be where you could or could not be being unreasonable. It would depend on the why he feels the way he does.

What I suggest is you both seek counseling. The reason for this is for him to find out why he is still grieving for his ex and to find a better way to handle her death. For you both to come to terms with the fact that his ex is going to be in your relationship because of his children and for you both to find a more comfortable way to handle it. Your request to take her name of his bills is not unreasonable or to remove her Mass card from the refrigerator. The statue in the breezeway is something you might give in on for now.

Find a qualified Psychologist and have both joint and single sessions of therapy.

Im 13 and my penis when erect is 5 1/2 inches and i just wanted to know if that was a normal size for my age because I'm worried that it's too small and that maybe my girlfriend will be disappointed not saying that I'm gonna have sex at my age but i just want to know if that's an ok size

Relax you are well within normal range.

According to the latest Ansel Research Survey; the average male penis when erect is between 5.1 & 5.9 inches long.

Average Vagina Size

Relaxed
Length 3 1/2 to 4 inches
Diameter 1 Inch

Aroused
Length ("tented) 5 to 6 inches
Diameter 1 1/2 to 2 inches

I am 17/f about to be 18 next month. I have been talking to this 21 year old guy since December. It was such a random thing, he messaged me on fb very politely, we had a really nice conversation and havent really stopped talking since. Hes always been very kind and sweet to me, always consistent. He asked me out in January but I didnt start liking him until around March/April. In the meantime he always treated me very very well. We got into to a relationship around April and weve been getting stronger and better and my feelings have grown a lot for him. And the way things went with meeting him and all that has been truly amazing. He can sense how im feeling, synchronicities always happen between us. I do not believe in coincidences and I feel like all this was no accident. However, ive been hiding this from my mom until just recently in July. I told her mostly everything about him. She got to see a video of what he looks and acts like..and she thinks hes an imbecile. Thats hes embarassing and all this other ridiculous crap. She wants me to stop talking to him completely, to just shut him out. End it. That ill move on and meet someone better. Someone who's good enough for me and is my own age. She threatened that if I dont stop that she's tempted to take matters into her own hands and Im scared of what she'll do. She said there is no way this is going to happen. And she said to stop hiding things from her and that im two faced and a betrayer for doing so. Im honestly so confused and terrified. Is this a trial? An obstacle we have to overcome? Because nothing worth having is easy to come by? Or is this a sign that I really should end it and stop this. But how can I do that? We have the most ridiculous, incredible connection. And honestly im terrified to end things because im afraid of what he might do. It would break his heart and when hes upset and gets very negative, its hard for him to shake. He cant work, eat, hed want to hurt himself. And no one in his life rn could really comfort him besides me. Im just very torn. What do I do? I cant even text him now cause his number showed up on our phone bill and now my mom has his number. And also, i know this is awful, but the past few days when all this shit with my mom has been happening, I have been missing this kid I used to like. He was my best friend and since ive had a bf, he hasnt really wanted me to talk to other guys. So I havent been able to talk to my friend and I miss him. I always wondered why things didnt work out with him.. I know its because he wasnt/isnt ready enough to handle a mature relationship. He has too much shit on his plate. But I dont know.. does this all mean I should listen to my mom and start talking to my friend again? Not in a romantic way but just in a friend way for right now. Or should I disobey and fight for the guy who has been there for me, loved me and has such a deep connection with and because im almost 18? I dont know. Please help. Thank you!

As of next month no one can tell you what to do legally speaking and mom can't punish you for anything legally. What I will say is that you are blinded by love and that based on what you have written you mother and I may be seeing something altogether different.

The 3 year age difference is no big deal, not at your present age. The problem that I see is this guy is trying to control you, that he is a controller. People who are controllers can be very harmful to others more than to themselves. This is a personality flaw that cannot be fixed with a pill. It is something that will take months if not years of therapy to over come and he will need to work at it daily.

The clues you gave are,"honestly im terrified to end things because im afraid of what he might do. It would break his heart and when hes upset and gets very negative, its hard for him to shake. He cant work, eat, hed want to hurt himself." & "ive had a bf, he hasnt really wanted me to talk to other guys. So I haven't been able to talk to my friend and I miss him." These are key tell tale signs of a controller ,especially his not wanting you to speak with other guys. Next he will tell you what you can be doing and not doing.

Your mom may have seen this, I'm seeing it and pointing it out to you. He will not harm himself if you break up with him. He will find another young girl to control. For you this is a toxic relationship one which can only get worse.

My advice is to listen to you mother, not because she is your mother, because she is seeing what you are blinded to.

I want to have sex with my friends mom she is divorced
14 male

Every red blood male has been in the position you find yourself in. So relax your normal. It is the hormones of puberty running through you that are making you feel this way. Hence the word "Horny"

Just why you want to have sex with an older woman? Well there are numerous reasons for that some of which you may not even realize. The fact that she is divorced may mean to you that she might be available and has a need that you can fill.

Facts are at 14 she cannot legally have sex with you. You cannot legally consent to sex in almost any state in America and most western countries. If for the sake of discussion you two were to have sex and someone found out, say your mom. This lady could possibly go to prison for a long time. At the very least I'm sure you would ruin a friendship for your mother.

Then there is the fact that you are 14 and she is probably as old as you mother or close to her age. Fact is most women her age are not looking to have sex with someone as young as you are. Now I'm sure that if you asked rather than tried she would be nice and let you down easy. The question is do you really want to embarrass yourself and maybe have the fact that you wanted to have sex with her get back to your mother. I'm sure she would think it cute that you found her sexually attractive and most likely say something to your mom.

The fact that your 14 also means you are too young to be thinking about sex with her or anyone else even a girl of your age. This is a time of sexual exploration where masturbation and heavy petting play the biggest part in your sex life. Masturbation and heavy petting is how you learn to make love.

Like everything else in life learning to make love is like an algebra problem. There are certain steps one must go through, both boys and girls, to get to the answer. Skip any steps and you probably not get the wrong answer.

My advice: Use this lady as masturbatory fantasy rather than embarrass yourself. When your older, more knowledgeable and above the age of consent for where you live. If you still want to have sex with her and she is still available. Then consider asking her.

Hello. I'm 22 and a male. For a long time now I've gotten this weird pain in my lower back and upper and lower back of my legs. I can mostly feel it when I'm trying to lay down and relax. Mostly I feel it at night when I'm trying to sleep. It keeps me up and I can't get comfortable or stay still. It's like a burning cramp like pain in my very lower middle back (around the sacrum joint) and down the backs of my legs all the way to my feet. It's horrible keeps me up and constantly tossing and turning trying to get relief. If I take pain meds it's fine and obiviously I don't feel it but if I don't have anything to take its like a 10 out of 10 pain wise. I had a mri that showed a disc somewhat buldged into the spinal cord. My doctor tried therapy physical and massage and a chiropractor but nothing has fixed it and he refuses pain meds. But they don't seem to be able to find what's causing this. It almost feels like the burning feeing like if you were to tie something around a finger and cut the circulation off that kind of pain. But I need help with this. So far no dr has been any help and this is a constant problem every night if I don't have anything for pain to take. I hope someone can help me figure out what this is because I need some type of direction for help with it. It's really effecting my life in a bad way. Any info will be a great help. Thanks

You need to see a neurosurgeon. Yes I know you don't have a brain problem. Neurosurgeons' are also the best spinal surgeons. You have a bulging disc into the spinal cord. You may need a spinal fusion. This is where they remove the disc and fuse your spine at that level. My son had that surgery and is now back at work as a Paramedic/Firefighter.

What I suggest is what we did. Not knowing any neurosurgeons and not happy with the orthopedic spinal doctor, we called one of the local trauma centers. We are fortunate in that where we live there are several within in less than an hours drive. We called the patient referral center and they were actually the ones who told us we needed to see a neurosurgeon. We called looking for a neurologist as he was told it was a nerve problem.

We were very fortunate to be referred to the head of neurosurgical recovery for the shock trauma center. Turned out this doctor was one of the top five in the country. As in most trauma centers which is where you will find the best doctors as this is where they will see the most challenging case.

My suggestion is: If there is a level 1 or above trauma center near you or within a reasonable travel distance, Call there patient referral line and ask to be referred to a doctor in the Neurosurgical department. Once you have the appointment call the MRI center where your MRI was done and get a copy of your MRI and bring it with you. IF there not to old it will save you from having to have another one done.

IF the doctor recommends a fusion I would say to go ahead and have it done. IF for some reason it can't be done. Then you will have to find a good Pain Management Center near where you live to help you manage the pain. They have treatments, and injections that can reduce the pain to almost nothing.

These centers are run by Doctors of Anesthesiology and they have more medications to offer that are non narcotic to manage pain with. I know as I am a patient of one of these centers as I suffer from chronic non operable back injury. Without my Doctor at the pain center I would be miserable. My pain once a 10 out of 10 is now a 0 to 3 on any given day and I can live with that.

Ok I'm from pa my girlfriend lied to me about her age she said she is 17 and November she be turning 18 but she's really only 15 and about to turn 16 in November and I'm 27 years old and we been with each it here for just about a year and and she might be pregnant now sense the baby wouldn't be hear until after her birthday would I go to jail sense she would say it was consistentual and would I be able to marry her. I just wish she would have told me but. I would like to marry her cause if it wasn't for her age and finding out I was going to marry her I know this sounds crazy but I was really going to purpose to her on what I thought was her 18th birthday. So if any body could help me with this thank you

It appears Razhie knows the laws in PA and knows what she is talking about. I don't know of any state where the age of consent is 14. The fact that she lied to you is of little or no defense in court even if she owns up to lying to you.

I would suggest, even though you don't know if she is pregnant, that you get yourself a good lawyer now, today, immediately. Explain the problem you have and make sure you have both daytime and after hours contact information.

This is called being prepared should she be pregnant and should you be arrested. If you are not prepared and have to depend on a public defender to get you out of Jail you could spend a few nights in lock up. A good criminal defense lawyer should be able to walk you out right after booking.

It is unfortunate and somewhat stupid on your part for not realizing this girl was not as old as she said she was. Given the fact that your 27 and she said she was 17 you may not be in line for any leniency depending on the age of consent in PA. The girl is culpable in this too unfortunately this doesn't help you. Get yourself a good lawyer today.

I had a boyfriend, got pregnant by him, and at 6 months pregnant I found out he was cheating on me with 2 other women when he was supposedly doing other things and I trusted him. I had my son, his name and my name are on the birth certificate and I gave him a chance to change his ways. HE moved in with ME and my family. So he paid no rent, no food expenses, no utilities, nothing besides baby needs. (The basics). We split up and after that, he started working 2 jobs and gave me money every week for my sons expenses. I wasn't so aware of child support and didn't have much knowledge about it until now. He and I got into arguments and I started to feel uncomfortable with him, so I want to put him on child support, so I won't have to be responsible for collecting the money and talking to him about what he owes. My son is 10 months, he has only paid an estimated 600 dollars of child support since my son has been born. I'm nervous to do this because he says it will only cause problems and make it difficult. Will he have to pay ever since my son was born, as in owe money from the past? Will it be worse if I put him on child support? He makes an estimated 830 a month and does not pay rent because he now lives with his mother. He only pays for his personal needs and gas for his own car, and his phone bill.

As the father of the child he has certain legal responsibilities to this child until the child is 18. He does not want you to file for support because the order for support will follow him for the next 17 years and 2 months wherever he goes. Failure to keep the courts informed of his employment can be cause for a bench warrant. His tax returns can be garnished if he has a refund due. If a bench warrant is issued and he is stopped by the police for a traffic violation he will be arrested. If he can keep you from filing for child support then he avoids all of this and pays you what he wants when he wants.

He is responsible for a certain amount of monetary support that the court will order based on his income. As his income goes up you can return to court for more monetary support. Now each state is a bit different as far as other support that is required. Most states require that if he has health insurance, now under Obama Care he should then he must provide health insurance for your child on his policy, dental included. Some states also require life insurance in the amount of what he would pay until the child is 18 with the child as the beneficiary.

There are two ways you can file for support. The first is to contact your county's office of child and family services and ask them for help in filing for child support. This can be tedious and time consuming.

The second and faster way is to contact a lawyer. The first visit with any lawyer is always free while you explain to them what you need and they ask you for information. In cases like yours where paternity is not in doubt it should be pretty straight forward. Still the ex can challenge paternity the cost of which for the testing is his. The legal fees though do start to mount.

IF you cannot afford to give the lawyer the retainer they ask for ask if the lawyer will work out a payment arrangement with you or if it is possible the courts will award his payments to him from your ex. If the answer is no to both then go to your local legal aid center for help and the will do the filings for you. Using legal aid will take longer but having a lawyer rather than Child protective service work with you is in your best interest.

What is important is to get the court order for child support. Once the order is issued it cannot be revoked unless he sues for custody. From what you have written his chances at custody are extremely poor The courts always lean to the mother and you would have to proven unfit.

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