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Nervous to file for child support
I had a boyfriend, got pregnant by him, and at 6 months pregnant I found out he was cheating on me with 2 other women when he was supposedly doing other things and I trusted him. I had my son, his name and my name are on the birth certificate and I gave him a chance to change his ways. HE moved in with ME and my family. So he paid no rent, no food expenses, no utilities, nothing besides baby needs. (The basics). We split up and after that, he started working 2 jobs and gave me money every week for my sons expenses. I wasn't so aware of child support and didn't have much knowledge about it until now. He and I got into arguments and I started to feel uncomfortable with him, so I want to put him on child support, so I won't have to be responsible for collecting the money and talking to him about what he owes. My son is 10 months, he has only paid an estimated 600 dollars of child support since my son has been born. I'm nervous to do this because he says it will only cause problems and make it difficult. Will he have to pay ever since my son was born, as in owe money from the past? Will it be worse if I put him on child support? He makes an estimated 830 a month and does not pay rent because he now lives with his mother. He only pays for his personal needs and gas for his own car, and his phone bill.
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As the father of the child he has certain legal responsibilities to this child until the child is 18. He does not want you to file for support because the order for support will follow him for the next 17 years and 2 months wherever he goes. Failure to keep the courts informed of his employment can be cause for a bench warrant. His tax returns can be garnished if he has a refund due. If a bench warrant is issued and he is stopped by the police for a traffic violation he will be arrested. If he can keep you from filing for child support then he avoids all of this and pays you what he wants when he wants.
He is responsible for a certain amount of monetary support that the court will order based on his income. As his income goes up you can return to court for more monetary support. Now each state is a bit different as far as other support that is required. Most states require that if he has health insurance, now under Obama Care he should then he must provide health insurance for your child on his policy, dental included. Some states also require life insurance in the amount of what he would pay until the child is 18 with the child as the beneficiary.
There are two ways you can file for support. The first is to contact your county's office of child and family services and ask them for help in filing for child support. This can be tedious and time consuming.
The second and faster way is to contact a lawyer. The first visit with any lawyer is always free while you explain to them what you need and they ask you for information. In cases like yours where paternity is not in doubt it should be pretty straight forward. Still the ex can challenge paternity the cost of which for the testing is his. The legal fees though do start to mount.
IF you cannot afford to give the lawyer the retainer they ask for ask if the lawyer will work out a payment arrangement with you or if it is possible the courts will award his payments to him from your ex. If the answer is no to both then go to your local legal aid center for help and the will do the filings for you. Using legal aid will take longer but having a lawyer rather than Child protective service work with you is in your best interest.
What is important is to get the court order for child support. Once the order is issued it cannot be revoked unless he sues for custody. From what you have written his chances at custody are extremely poor The courts always lean to the mother and you would have to proven unfit.
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You need to file for child support.
Of course he doesn't want you to. He wants to choose what charity he offers you when he feels like it. He doesn't want to be actually responsible to you or the child. You've already seen this behaviour when he lived at your home. He doesn't want to have to do anything he doesn't have too.
You aren't required to ask for retroactive child support. You could choose to only ask for child support order moving forward. Then he wouldn't be required to pay money owing since your son was born. In fact, a lot of places don't like rewarding child support retroactively, so it's easier to simply ask for a court order for future payments.
The only thing that might be worst on a child support order, is if your ex decides to act like a complete asshole about it, but that would be his fault, not the court order's fault and not yours for asking for what is your child's legal right. You are absolutely right: With an order, it becomes his job to pay you, rather than your job to go out and beg him for some money. That's much healthier and more respectful for both of you, and it means your son will be better carried for with a regular and more reliable plan.
Go ask for an order. You and your child are not his charity case, to give whatever donations he feels like whenever he wants.
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No, since his name is on the birth certif. he is the legal father and they will garnish his wages to make sure you get the right amount and EVERYTIME, so theres no inconsistent months from the point that you file and are processed ON. Until that child is 18 years old.
some of the minor details can differ alittle from state to state im not an expert but i came from a welfare home and know friends that are single mothers and on it currently.
The only way it makes things difficult is for HIM because they will take it out of his pay if he EVER works a legit job.
Also you have to report any side income your receiving so that they can reduce the amount accordingly. i have a friend who is on it with THREE kids and two of them have a bone disorder that will require them to be on SSI their whole lives, and she is now required to report that income to welfare.
You can also get section 8 housing or low income housing as well and food stamps when you file so you basically dont have to depend on your babys daddy ever again for anything.
good luck and he could just be saying what he said to make you afraid to file because he knows they will take it from his pay.
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