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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

I'm italian, I look like most my family, olive skin, brown hair, and hazel eyes. My mom will fight people to her last breath Italians aren't white. I did a google search and found some article about how Romans were tan and stuff, and in the south italians were considered black and were segregated and couldn't marry "whites" Italy is in Europe, so I think Caucasian I just want other ppl's opinion. Are Italians white?

From a standpoint of Genealogy my personal view is that Italians are white. If you were to ask a Black African I would say they would say Italians are white, not Negro but Caucasian.

There is another possibility that like Asian and Hispanic Italians are there own subset. It is an interesting question one I have never given any thought to especially since my best friend until his passing was Italian.

A friend of mine is a Police Officer. I am going to send him a message and ask him when they book and Italian they arrest if the book the as Caucasian or some other Nationality. Unfortunately I won't be able to send you his answer unless you write back to me in a private message asking fro the answer. Though you could ask a police officer where you live how they book an Italian arrestee

I fall in love with a guy who loves feminim girls but I'm tomboy. How to be feminim and not tomboy?

It would help if you had included your age and why you consider yourself a Tomboy. Since you did not I will have to make an assumption to justify my answer.

There is nothing wrong with being a Tomboy. I have a niece who is 15 plays several different sports and although a high school freshman plays softball with a college team. She already has a scholarship offer waiting for her. Because she plays sports and exercises she is somewhat muscular and small breasted. Small breasts do not run in the family. She will wear a dress when appropriate though she does not look good in them. Is she a Tomboy? I don't consider her to be. I consider her an athletic young women like any other athletic women you might see in sports today. In her own way she can be very feminine but not like her mother or sister.

If how I described my niece fits a description of you then I would not consider you a Tomboy. Maybe you too don't look good in dresses. Maybe like her your more comfortable in slacks and blouses or jeans and t-shirts. There is also nothing wrong with a girl liking sports or playing sports be it for fun or somewhat semi-pro as my niece.

What I do know as wrong is trying to be something your not. You may become more feminism as you get older. We all change as we mature. For now to try to be more feminism when you don't feel it would be false and people will see right through you. This is especially true if you are a young teenager.

I could probably give you a better answer with more information such as your age and why you feel you are a Tomboy. What I have written is pretty much a generic answer. If you want a better answer you can send me a private message and I will try to give you a better answer.

For now though my best advice is not to try to be something you are not. This would be false and people who know you will see right through it.

I started college and these months I developed a friendship with a classmate who's really different than me.I'm gay, he supposedly straight, and hates gay people? but we're friends, I mean. The thing is we're getting closer and closer but I don't know what's going on between us, everything so contradictory. He's really insecure and doesn't like to show his feelings. I'm going crazy because I think maybe it's all in my head. But if it is in my head then why he never complains when I say that I love him and I send him hearts and kisses and stuff, even though he always telling their mates how he hates gay people, even though I'm out to everyone. I don't know what to believe. He tries to be with me every time we have on campus. We do everything together and I don't know what else he wants, I asked him what are we but he never replies, I tell him I love him but never replies. It's weird. What do you folks think?

From what you have written the first thought that comes to mind is that he does protest too much. Meaning that he may just be gay and is not ready to commit to you or to come out of the closet and declare himself.

If my first thought is correct there is not much you can do but wait until he is ready to either take the next step with you or declare his sexuality. For you to try and take the next step could ruin a great friendship. To me dating is dating be it two guys or a guy and a girl. You have to read the signals before taking that next step. From what you have written I don't see any signals that give you the okay to take the next step.

It could be that he is waiting for you to make the first move. If I'm wrong and you do make the first move you run the possibility of ruining a great friendship. You are literally between a rock and a hard place at the moment.

Ask yourself these questions: Have I ever seen him with a girls? Has he ever talked about the girls he's dated with me or with others at parties? At parties have I ever seen him, making out with a girl.

After answering these questions you might have an idea on how to proceed.

Hi I am a 14 year old boy. I met a girl 4 months ago and she has feelings for me and I guess I like her too.she has so many problems she has been through a tough break up and she lost a close friend who I like. I've been trying to bring them back together but while texting her to make her feel better. Because she has juristically changed. And she told me she isn't a virgin. And I freaked out and the conversation went on then I told her my sexual fedishes and she said she was getting horny then we continued and I came. She wanted to date after but that was an accident. And I didn't answer what should I do I haven't dated for years and tho is all new to me.

I wouldn't worry too much about the accidental sexting or the fact you had what we adults would call an emission, fancy was of saying you came.

As for dating that is really hard to give advice on to someone your age. TO have an actual date is something you may not be ready for, from what you have written I can't make a judgment on that. This is something you will know. Dating will always be new to you until you actually start dating, when you do just be yourself. Be the guy who is texting; remember I said texting not the accidental sexting. This is the guy she wants to meet.

I would suggest you keep a first date or first couple of dates with any new girl in places that are not to intimate such as going bowling or ice skating. Someplace where there are other people around and you can talk and get to know one another.

As for sex as an adult and a parent I have to say you’re really too young and she is too. That fact that she is not a virgin does not mean you have to have sexual intercourse with her. Instead show her the respect of not trying to get into her pants.

I would suspect at her age the fact that she did have sex it was not totally consensual. In that I mean that the boy she had sex with may have said something to the effect, "You either have sex with me or I will find someone else" or "If you love me you will have sex with me." Either of these two lines will sometimes force a girl her age to have sex before they are really ready. Don't be that boy.

I know you will want sexual relief and she may want it too. Masturbation and mutual masturbation are the best and safest way to get sexual relief without the worry of pregnancy. Hand jobs and fingering are as far as either of you should go in having any type of sex for the next several years until you’re older and more mature.

If you haven't experienced it yet you will have to trust me when I tell you the sexual relief and the intimacy from mutual masturbation is almost the same as sexual intercourse and neither of you will be writing to us worried about her being pregnant.

Hi, I'm 13 and my bf is 12. Him and I were fooling around one day and I let him put his had down in that area like in side my underwear, but the thing is him and I don't know if he had a Little bit of cum on his finger/hand. And if he did he had VERY little like barly anything, I didn't let him finger me that day I only let him just rub down their. My period is about 3 days late and I'm kinda worried. Could I be pregnant?!

I seriously doubt your pregnant. Most likely the reason your period is late is one of two reasons.

First: You are stressing out over the possibility of being pregnant. Stress more than pregnancy is the biggest reasons for teenage girls missing a period. More so than actually being pregnant.

Second: For girls your age being in puberty it is not uncommon for periods to be irregular or to become irregular.

The best way to relieve your stress is to take a home pregnancy test. Now if you can pass for 14 you will have no trouble making the purchase.

As a general rule I do not instruct teenagers how to lie or hide things from their parents. In this one instance I make an acceptation.

Purchase the test kit. Put it in your purse and put the purse in your room before going to bed. In the morning take your purse to the bathroom with you when you take your shower. Carefully open the kit and take the test as the instructions tell you too. After the results are shown, which I'm 99.99% positive will be negative, repackage the kit and place it back in your purse so you can dispose of it at the mall or some other place away from home.

Should taking your purse into the bathroom not be part of your regular routine and mom is home and see this. Should she say something just say you got up feeling you might need a tampon or napkin and you were not sure there were any in the bathroom.

This is the only time I will ever encourage anyone to lie to a parent. In the future you and your boyfriend need to keep your hands on the outside of your clothing. You two are way to young for this kind of sex play. IF you want, and here again I think it's wrong because it leads to other things. IF you want to let him feel your breasts that's fine. But no further.

You are both too young for any type of mutual masturbation play which would be him fingering you or you giving him hand jobs. Of course any type of oral sex is totally out the question.

The mystique in the relationship between a boy and a girl, man and women is the mystery of the women. The less you give away the more the mystery. Make him earn the right to unlock the doors to solve the mystery. Right now boys his age see love and lust as one in the same. Make sure he actually loves you before you unlock any doors.

I am 17/F, my brothers are 13 and 15. We are currently on Christmas break, have been for the past 4 days.

It seems their favourite activity is walking into my bedroom without knocking while I am reading and fiddling around with my stuff and talking to me about Minecraft (which I am utterly uninterested in) or trying to convince me to read Lord of the Rings (also not interested).

I really don't like that they continually come in, particularly because they just waltz in without knocking even though I have asked them to knock multiple times. I talked to my mom about it and she told me to just ask them nicely to leave.

There are a couple of problems with that idea. First, I don't want them to come in unannounced in the first place. Second, I can't always ask nicely. I mean in theory it's easy, but I can't always put it into practice.

When I'm in a good mood, I put up with them coming in, and I try to make conversation for a while, until they or I get bored and they leave or I ask them politely to leave. This works fine.

However, if I'm really tired or just feeling kind of grumpy, I find it really hard to ask nicely. Sometimes I let them come in and hope if I ignore them they will leave(it doesn't work, I should stop trying), but most of the time I tell them to leave. I know I shouldn't tell them, because they won't leave unless I ask nicely, but I tell them, and then either they or my mom tell me to ask nicely, but at that point I am frustrated and I can't seem to control my tone of voice, so I say "Would you please leave me alone" but I say it in an annoyed way, so they don't leave because I didn't ask nicely enough.

How can I stop this? Is there a way to prevent myself from getting so frustrated?

I see several problems here that really need attention and they are not just about asking your brothers to leave. You are correct in they should not be walking into your bedroom without knocking. Having once been their age I have reasons to believe there is more to this then just wanting you to read to them or to talk to you.

You should have a lock on your door so you can have some privacy. You need this privacy for I believe your brothers are trying to catch you in a state of undress. The 13 year old is just now getting interested in girls. The 15 year old has been interested in girls for sometime.

If you search their rooms, the garage, the basement or wherever they hang out I guarantee you will find pilfered copies of Hustler, or magazines of these types. Every young boy has them and they are passed around between friends and hidden where they hope mom doesn't find them.

These only contain pictures of naked women. They have an older sister who is the real thing and very pretty I'm sure. Walking in on you at various times is I'm sure their attempt to catch you undressed and get a glimpse of the real thing in the flesh so to speak.

Even if I could be wrong, which I doubt I am, just the thought that I am right is reason enough that you be allowed to have a lock on your bedroom door if you don't have one. When you want or need privacy you lock the door.

Ask mom or dad to go to Lowes or Home Depot's Hardware Department. They will find interior door sets that have the ability to unlock with a small key in an emergency. These keys are all they security mom or dad should want in allowing you to have a locked door. They will have the ability to unlock the door should you ever lock yourself in and they need to get in or should you or your brothers lock you out.

Talk with mom. Tell her what I think is happening. She may not have thought of this. She may even want to discuss this with your dad. I'm positive dad will agree as he was once a boy of their ages and probably did the same type of spying if it was possible or knew of a friends that did.

I was fifth grade when I noticed that she's doing
weird stuff around me.It stopped but until now she's kissing me in the forehead,"accidentally" moving closer to me and I don't know if she still likes me.If she does,What should I do?

If she is your friend then she is your friend. Her sexual orientation should not be an issue just as long as she knows you are not a lesbian and do not have any sexual interest in her.

People with different sexual orientations can be friends just as people of different races or religions can be friends. Differences of these manners should not be an issue of friendship. Friendships are born of other likes and dislikes. Some are the love of literature, art, movies, sports and other activities that the two of you and others enjoy doing together.

Friendship is also knowing the other will always be therefore regardless of time and distance that may come between you. My best friend for years was someone who I worked with. He has since passed away but before he did we were never any further apart then the telephone. A phone call was all that was needed to whenever either one of us needed some type of help or cheering up.

One time I had spoken to his wife and she told me he had trouble turning 50. I went out and put together an old farts kit (a joke). It contained everything I could find to symbolize he was being a dumb ass and sent it FEDEX to him overnight. Within 20 minutes of it being delivered he called me. HE started yelling, you had to meddle you couldn't let enjoy my funk could you." An hour later we were both laughing and joking and he was in a better mood. This is what friendship is all about.

Friendship has nothing to do with a person’s beliefs, be they their sexual orientation, or religion or be it the color of their skin. The world would be a better place if we can find it within ourselves to look past these things and see the real person. Just like beauty being skin deep. The real person lies just below these other things.

Recently my little sister told me the reason her and my stepbrother don't get along because when she was about 15 or 14 and he being 17 when they were both high not that this makes it an excuse ... Well my stepbrother asked my little sister if they could have sex.... Mind you my dad and stepmom have been together sense we were 6 so we've been related by marriage for almost 20 years now so this happened 4 or 5 years ago... I told my fiancé and I told my older sister who also doesn't know what to make of the situation or what to do!! My little sister said we can't do anything because so much time has passed. I'm sick to my stomach and the fact that she shares a space with him where they sleep makes me scared. I don't know what good it would to tell my mom because it's our word against his and not that my mom wouldn't believe us but all it would do would make her broken hurt angry I can't imagine how a mother would feel to hear that. My stepbrother is such a manipulator that he can get his way out of anything. Also my step siblings are treated way differently than all of us. For example my older sister graduated college and had to pay rent my stepbrother does not. Please help me I'm sick to my stomach sad I wasn't there to help her and all I want to do is make this better but I don't know how!!

You do not say if your little sister gave into your stepbrothers request. If she did it is rape. If she didn't and depending on if he just asked once or if he continued to try to have sex with her it could be sexual harassment. Both of which are crimes. It is not incest as they are not blood related as in half sister and half brother. At least that is the opinion I get from what you have written. As in from the same mother but different fathers.

If he is still trying to have sex with her then your parents must be informed especially so they can change the sleeping arrangements. If he is not still trying to have sex with her and your sister does not want you to go to your parents. Then I suggest you go to your brother and inform him that back then was a sex crime against a minor and there is no statute of limitation on those crimes.

Tell him to stay away from your little sister. In fact it would be better if he found some place else to live. That you will be watching him and if he steps out of line he will be talking to the police, not your parents. Depending on which of the two sex crimes he may have committed he could be looking at life in prison.

I suggesting that you make this a threat and convince him you will go to the police. I'm not suggesting you do that is entirely up to you to do if you think you need to.

I am a 14 year old girl and after I masturbate my lower stomach thighs and hips hurt even for a few days how do I stop this? or what medicines can I take ? Do I have an infection?

We are not doctors and I am definitely not a girl so this is a hard question to answer for me and for some others.

I think it is possible that you are working to hard to have an orgasm, which your body may not be ready to give you or you may be masturbating wrong. For a guy masturbation is easy, for a girl it is a bit more complicated.

Most women are stimulated vaginally and masturbate by fingering their vaginas. There is a small percentage of women who are not vaginal in there pleasure and get little to no stimulation from fingering no matter how hard or long they do it or it is done to them. These women are clitoral in nature and will get of by stimulating her clitoris. The clitoris or clit as it is called is located above the vagina.

If you have been fingering your vagina and trying to force an orgasm this may be the reason for your pain. Try gently rubbing your clit. If this works for you then your clitoral in nature.

When you get older and are ready for intercourse you will need to tell your partner. For you will need to find positions were his penis stimulates your clit while having intercourse or positions where one of you can manually stimulate your clit during intercourse so you get maximum pleasure.

I'm 13 years old, anorexic. Don't tell me things like "Don't do it" or "you're too young" cause if so then please not to be rude but I don't need your help. So I'm getting braces soon and I'm afraid that anorexia might ruin my teeth since I'm running low on nutrients and that it will make them loose and have gaps. So should I get braces later when I'm fully recovered or now? Like I don't want the 2 years of braces to go to waste if anorexia will ruin them afterwards so I need advice on wether what I should do....????? I know my teeth should be the least of my worries but I know the other risks and I can't do anything about it but I can do something about my teeth though.l....so please help!!!! (It just started and I eat around 500-1000 Valois a day and also workout now and then but when I do it's Extreme)

This should be a question that you, your parents and your dentist should be discussing. You should also be discussing this with the doctor(s) helping you with your anorexia. All of you have a vested interest in your recovery and it is not the cost of the braces or the outcome of their effectiveness.

I am not a dentist so I cannot speak with any medical knowledge on this. what I do know s I would not allow my child who might be suffering as you with anorexia to get braces right now. Braces can be painful for some. Those that do suffer from pain find it hard to eat and lose weight. This would work against your recovery from anorexia.

Anorexia is a bit like being an alcoholic. You're never fully cured but constantly in recovery, constantly trying not to fall back into old ways. Because of this fact I would suggest not getting braces right now but to wait until your older and much longer into recovery.

Braces are now being made available to people well into their adult years. I see no reason right now for you to race into getting braces. Especially while you work to recover from anorexia.

Im I still virgin if I do fingering?

Fingering is the same as masturbating even if someone else is doing the fingering. Today's definition of virginity is a person remains a virgin right up to the moment a penis penetrates a vagina. When that happens a person is no longer a virgin.

For the female she does not have to have an intact Hymen when intercourse first happens. A female can lose her Hymen from various sports activities as well as through masturbation. so the definition of virgin is no longer considered to be an intact Hymen.

I how this clears this up for you.

I'm 20 but my mum will still call me 'princess ' and 'honey blossom' in public sat if we're out shopping.

Also she likes me to come home every weekend when I'm at uni and she has to call me at set times during the week which is awkward because often it's on evenings and I have plans to go out or I'll be at a bar when she calls!

She hates me spending much time anywhere else and acts off with me -think she's jealous. She has to know my whereabouts always and suggests curfews saying 'it won't take you and '*friend* 5 hours to look round the shops ' etc.

She even takes time off work to take my sister to job interviews. I love her and really don't want to hurt her but I'm sick of being treated as a child!

I have made steps to progress... when she calls me baby names I'll respond in an adult off sounding way . And I'll rearrange these calls for later in the evening (really I'd rather she never called at all)

What can I do? My dad who lives with us treats me like an adult !

I'm not sure if mom is having trouble cutting the apron strings or if she is a bit of a controller. Either way you have to declare your independence from her or it will be this way for the rest of your life. Something that could cause problems later when your married as well.

Pet names can be troubling as well during an emergency as well. Now this doesn't apply to you hopefully but is a good example of how a pet name can be bothersome during an emergency. I was a member of a rescue Squad when we received a call for a woman who had overdosed. We were finally able to get her to concentrate and answer questions when in swarms her entire family calling her by several pet names. The woman just shut down and stopped talking. We found out later at the hospital that she hated these pet names and in fact was the reason for the overdose. When time is of the essence you can't be calling someone by a name that puts them off.

You and your sister need to have a discussion with your mother. Use my story, adjust as need be to fit what you want to say, when talking to her. You have to impress upon your mother that you are no longer a child. That while you love her she must allow you to lead your own life. You will call her when you can and she should call you if she has an emergency or at a time each week you and she agree upon like Sunday morning.

Your sister should insist on this too if she is of legal age even if she is living at home. If she is not of legal age then she needs with your help to explain to mother that she needs some space to spread her wings and prepare to be an adult. Part of parenting is helping a child be ready to take his or her place within adult society. This includes cutting the apron strings when a child becomes and adult.

If mom is not having trouble cutting the apron strings but is in fact a controller. Then expect to have to repeat this conversation many times. When she calls at inconvenient times answer the phone and ask if this is an emergency. If she say no or starts in with questions as to where you are or why you are not at home. Say mom this is not the time for this conversation. we can talk on Sunday and hang up. Yes it is rude but it is the only way to get the message across to a controller. IF she calls back let the call go to voice mail.

This may be a long story and I'm sorry but there really isn't a way to cut this short. I had previously posted a question about a condom breaking during sex with my boyfriend. This incident was December 1st, the condom broke the second time we had sex and it broke before he finished so when it did break, the only possible semen that was in the condom was excess from the first time. I am on birth control but at the time of the condom breaking, I was only on my third official day of ever being on it so I was not protected from that when this happened. However, like I said he didn't finish and he pulled out as soon as he heard it and that was only when he was about half way in. He also went to get Plan B for me to take because I was a bit apprehensive. So, December 1st was when this happened and my period is expected to begin Christmas Eve so I was to ovulate December 7th. Like I said in my previous question that if anything was to get in me and stay in there, if my expected ovulation was correct then I should be safe about pregnancy.

However, I am just a naturally nervous person. It's getting closer to when I should be getting my period and I'm questioning if I'm pregnant or not. I'm nineteen days in on my birth control so I'm pretty protected with that so I'm not really worried about anything that happens now. But, one thing I noticed was that I've been getting a frequent irritation that makes me think I have to pee but when I sit, I don't have to pee and I read somewhere that a lot of other girls experience this after they have sex and I've noticed that when I experience it, it's the entire day after I have sex as well. So, I'm freaking out that this frequent feeling of having to pee is evident of pregnancy or something weird happening after intercourse. I also had some spotting today and my period is supposed to be in six days so I'm also freaking out that this spotting was implantation bleeding that I read about but it could also be a side effect to my birth control "premature bleeding." I'm also factoring in that taking the Plan B may also make my period come late so that is also something to think about.

My boyfriend keeps telling me to not worry. He said that even if there was any in the condom when it broke, it wasn't enough to crawl all the way up and get me pregnant. I guess I'm just looking for advice, anything would help; thanks!

First: Let's clear up some misconceptions you and your boyfriend have. Sorry for the choice of words.

A. Condoms should be used once. If you are going to have sex a second time remove the condom dry his penis and put a fresh condom on him. Most likely the reason the condom broke is the attempt to use it twice.

B. It only takes one sperm to fertilize an egg. It does not matter how much sperm enters you. IF any does it only take that one swimmer to get to an egg which is always possible.

I don't think your pregnant. In fact I would bet on it and I only bet on sure things.

Second: I don't think you are pregnant as you had intercourse well before your fertile time.

A. For most women, about 85%, ovulate during the 7th and 21st day of their cycle. According to the dates you gave you are well within your safe period.

B. Most likely you are experiencing anxiety pains so to speak out of fear of being pregnant. You may also miss your period because of this. Tension and anxiety are bigger causes for a woman missing her period than actual pregnancy.

C. I believe in your original question I suggested a home pregnancy test. This is still the best way to find out if your pregnant. If your concerned about your parents finding the test kit you should not be. You're 19 now and adult. As a parent myself I can tell you that we may not like the idea of an unmarried child, especially a daughter, being sexually active. You are an adult and entitled to a sex life if you wish to have one. You are being responsible in taking birth control and even so you should make your partner use a condom.

Condoms not only add an extra layer of protection against pregnancy making it almost 100% safe. They also protect against many STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus.

My advice is; if you are this nervous about the condom breaking. Take a home pregnancy test to put your mind at rest. With all the tension you are building if you do not relax I can almost assure you that your period will be late or missed and you will still not be pregnant.

I'll be starting at a private university in January. It's my dream school and I'm super excited to have gotten in. The school itself usually costs 41k a year, but I've earned enough scholarships that I knocked the price down to about 18k a year or about 72-74k for four years. A big part of the expense is dorming and meal plans for four years.

I'm okay with the high cost because I feel like this is my only way to break out of my parents house, become independent, and create something of myself.

I really want to take out a private loan to cover all four years at one time. I know this will make the interest sky-rocket, but I'm scared to death that if I do it year by year, that I'll be denied the second or third year into my schooling for already having a loan out.

My father also plans to commit bankruptcy for the second time in his life in the next year so I will also possibly be losing out on my cosigner which could put me in a bad situation and unable to get anymore loans out. This could cause me to have to drop out of school and then the loans I already have will come due and it would just turn into one giant mess. That's why I want to take out the entire 72-74k loan at one time.

I know the dropout rates are high, but it's really important to me to go to college and I know I'll give it everything I've got.

My next question is, when do schools realistically expect you to pay the tuition? Right now I live several hours away from my father so I would rather wait to take out the loan until I'm closer to him which I will be when I start at my new college in less than a month.

It says the 20th of December is when you're supposed to pay for the semester but is that really realistic if classes don't even start until January 14th? I would rather wait until I've moved into the dorm to pay so I know I'm not getting the short end of the stick, because right now they haven't told me where I'm being dormed yet or what my schedule will be. Why would I pay for something I haven't even seen yet?

Last question first. Once you pay your tuition the school then knows you are actually going to attend. They will then give you a dorm room and you can register for classes for the upcoming classes. You cannot register for classes until you have paid for them.

As for student loads versus a regular loan. student loans are uncollateralized loans at very low interest rate guaranteed by the Federal Government to the banks that actually make the loans. To Get the kind of money you want on an unsecured loan is not going to happen and even if you had the collateral with which to secure the loan the interest rate would be outrageous compared to a student loans. Student loans are also held in abatement until six months you graduate or stop going to school.

My suggestion is you go to the school and talk to the Finance Officers there. There may be different grants you could be entitled to which are given on a yearly basis which will lower what you need to borrow each year to cover what is outstanding. That $72K you think you need could be greatly reduced. It was for my son when he went to school. Now he also had military service points that cut his cost in half. Though with different grants that were available to him he graduated with less than $20K in debt and he has 20 years to pay it off.

My advice is to look before you leap into the deep end of the pool. GO and talk to the Finance Officers at the school. You may be pleasantly surprised at what they can do for you. Make sure to tell them your father plans on filing for bankruptcy. That fact that you do not live with him his plans and credit rating should not affect you.

so I just want some understanding is it possible that the mother of my kids. mother put me on child support even tho I support my kids an I'm always there for them she wants to put me on child support cause I don't help out with the pregnancy bills but the job I have cant afford them an only have money for my kids an my bills. I live in Alabama I don't see why she think she can put me on child support when 1.i have no kids by you

While the laws differ somewhat from state to state the purpose of child support does not. The purpose of child support is to see to it that the children, your children, have a roof over their head, clean clothes, food on the table and their medical bills paid. The court who will order the support will not be concerned with your bills only their needs. You are legally responsible for your children's support until they reach the age of 18. You may also be ordered to take out life insurance in the amount of the totaled sum of 18 years worth of support for each child you have fathered.

Once the court has awarded the mother of your children or her mother if she herself is not of legal age, child support. The court can then order your wages garnished and if need be any tax return garnished and garnish any savings you may have.

If this woman has children by another man they are not your responsibility and the court will not order you to support them. You are only responsible for the child or children you have fathered. Once again though the court will put the best interest of the child or children first. The child or children always come first for they did not ask to be here. You are responsible for them being here and your needs are secondary to theirs in the eyes of the law.

What do I do if my friends make fun of me for being late in puberty

Try to ignore them. I know it is easier to give that advice then it is to receive it. Facts are that the later you go into puberty the easier it will be for you emotionally and physically. Especially for girls but boys as well.

I remember when I went through puberty I was about 10 or 11 I believe. If the physical pain of the growth spurts wasn't bad enough I suffered migraine headaches. I remember having to be in a completely dark room with an ice pack on my forehead and a blindfold over my eyes so my sister, who was 6 years younger than me, could feed my dinner with a flashlight to guide her. My friends who went through puberty later in life at ages 14 and 15 didn't suffer the headaches.

Everybody's voice changes and boys voices crack when they talk and everyone will laugh when it happens. Just laugh with them. Girls will grow breasts and get their periods. Getting their period can be painful for them and giving up their undershirts for Bra's can be traumatic.

So while others may be teasing you just remember they have gone through entering puberty and were teased too. Ignore them or remind them of the pain you will not suffer as much from because your body is waiting for you to mature more.

I'm not totally sure if this is in the right category, but here goes....oh and btw I am 17/F
I often find myself starting to cry at times when logically I shouldn't be crying. It's not like I'm crying out of the blue randomly, but in situations that should not be upsetting enough to make me cry. For example, a few weeks ago at work, I was told I had to do an online training thing. I sat down to start it, and then my supervisor told me that I actually wouldn't have enough time to do it and I would have to do it the next time I came in to work. It wasn't really a big deal, but I started crying, and every time I looked at my supervisor or thought about it for the next hour, I started crying again.

I also often have difficulty stopping crying. Something will happen, maybe worth crying for, maybe not, but I will cry, and then every time I think of it or see the people involved I will start up again, and this often continues for an hour or more.

This doesn't happen a lot, but often enough that it can be embarrassing, particularly if it happens at work or school.

Any advice on how to prevent myself from crying and/or stop crying once I have started?

You are probably an emotional person. Crying is a relief valve for something not always what is right in front of you. What is in front of you may be a trigger for something else that may be bothering you and the tears just start falling.

The only suggestion I can make is to talk with a psychologist to find the cause. Once you find the cause then you can deal with the triggers. I know it sounds weird but that is what is happening to you.

A trigger is a reminder of something that is deeply repressed. You probably do not even remember it. It could be a sight, a sound, or even a smell. This is where the psychologist come in. I've been there and with her help we found the cause which amazed me part of the cause I was aware of, part I repressed. The part I was aware of I was not dealing with effectively which made things worse. Once I was aware of the cause dealing with the triggers was easy. For the most part they disappeared. Those that didn't I have learned to see them coming and deal with them better.

If your parents have insurance through work then they probably have an EAP program. If they do ask for the program contact number and call them. Ask them for a number for a psychologist. Most EAP programs will pay for the first few visits then the your parents health insurance will kick in.

During sex how do you fuck someone

You're probably not going to like this answer but here it is anyway.

Based on your questions wording I'm going to say you are way to young to have sex if you are asking this question. How to have intercourse, fucking as you put it, is a natural act inherent in all of us.

Making love is the entire act preceding up to and including intercourse as well as the afterglow upon completion of intercourse. In all my years I have never fucked a women though I have made love with a number of women; there is a difference.

Making love is a learned experience that you do with someone you are in a loving relationship with. To my mind fucking is someone you do with a whore. Fucking someone is demeaning. It means you have no feelings for them other than getting your satisfaction. Getting your rocks off.

When you make love with someone you want to make sure that someone is satisfied as well as yourself. This is what making love is all about. Do not demean someone just to satisfy yourself.

Until you understand this keep it in your pants and masturbate for personal satisfaction.

So I have a 37 year old boyfriend and I'm 16. We've been dating for more than a year now. We do love each other and he says he'll wait for me till I'm grown up and wants me to finish college first. In short he's a good man. I'm just afraid of our future ,it really bothers me wondering if our relationship would work out and be successful. Plus the fact that everyone doesn't want us to be together because of age. People who have the same relationships out there please give me advice? Everyone's welcome to comment what's in your mind.

I have a problem with a man dating a women could be his daughter or almost his granddaughter. There is something inherently wrong about this. If you were 25 and he 50 it would be a different story but you’re not. DO your parents know you are seeing him? How do they feel about it?

If you are having sex with him then he is committing a crime in most states as you are under the age of consent and not an adult. He could go to jail for life in many states. If you two have ever crossed a state line together he has committed a federal crime. It would be very easy to call him a pedophile if you are having sex with him.

Your question, "it really bothers me wondering if our relationship would work out and be successful." Think about this in 7 years you will be 21 and he will be 44. You will want to go out partying and drinking. He will more than likely want to sit home, watch TV and be in bed by 11. He's done the wild stuff he's ready to settle down, have children, the house with the picket fence and career. This is why the so called May/December marriages don't work out.

I know it is romantic to have someone his age interested in you. My advice though is to find a nice boy in your own age group and have the fun a teenager is suppose to have. If you don't you will someday regret not having that time in your life.

Good afternoon,

I'm writing this because I'm reaching out for help. I've tried searching for help in many places, but a lot of those sources are helping me deal with and sort out my feelings, and barely any are helping me with a plan of action. I'm 25 years, and I'm my mother's only daughter. She adopted me at birth. Following my adoption, my father abandoned us because he got a prostitute pregnant and chose to remain as a part of that family. From that moment on, my mother grew unhealthily obsessed with me. I never had a healthy relationship with a member of my family. I realized this at a pretty young age. My mother never let me sleep in my own bed. She wouldn't let me bathe myself until I was 14 years old. I wasn't allowed to go away for college. I wasn't allowed to drive until I was 20 years old. But, these restrictions were compensated for with minor freedoms. For instance, I didn't have a curfew. My mom was considered the "cool" mom among my group of friends because she would talk to them about boys, sex, etc. She drove everybody. She put together a limo for prom. On the surface, you would think I was a spoiled brat. I attended a very expensive private school and my mom always took me to the beauty salon so that I would look top notch. I had the latest gadgets: cell phones, iPods, etc. The newest clothes. The newest music. You would think I was a princess. But, everything that glitters is not gold. I would trade, without a doubt, all of these "luxuries" for a healthy relationship with any of my parents. For parents who raised me for the world, not for themselves.

I must mention that for years, I have been financially abused. My mother has stolen my identity and opened credit cards and phone bills in my name, failing to pay them, leaving me with bad credit. Therefore, I was happy about not having to apply to lease an apartment, given that my credit is not the best. She has stolen from my savings account, emptying my college fund, therefore, I am now paying back college loans. She has had me take out payday loans, harassing me until I have done so, so that she would have enough money to pay a bill on time, and then I've found out that she has taken the money to be me clothes, but her and the rest of my family have taken the stance that if the clothes were bought for me, regardless of whether my own money or credit was used, I cannot use that against her.

A few months ago, my mom had her house rented to psychologically diagnosed hoarders. Needless to say, the house was a nightmare. Nearly $1000 were spent on just sanitation bills. After this experience, my mom had the epiphany of allowing me to live in this house in order to ensure that something like this didn't happen again. After all, at 25 years of age, I thought that maybe she realized that I deserved a little bit of independence. I'm not surprised to find out that the house came with strings. She continues to harass me, show up uninvited, knocking on my door at 5:00 in the morning and making me get up. Those are the days when I'm actually able to stay here. Oftentimes, she uses excuses such as my grandmother feeling ill, to get me to stay with her (the house is down the street). She frequently orders me to come back home. The other day, she even picked me up after I had someone over and took me in the car back home, inquiring about any sexual encounters. When I opened up to her about it, she harassed me the next day, telling me that she was going to buy me sex toys. Yesterday, I opened my nightstand drawer and found cards with sexual positions on them and two bottles of lube.

I have had enough. I don't have another place to go because she ruined my credit. So many times I've wondered if I should just give up on life because I really am never going to have freedom. I can't leave this city (or state) with bad credit. I also have a full time job that I can't just pick up and leave. I'm in the middle of graduate school, finishing my masters degree. So, giving me advice to pack up my bags and "run away" is just not feasible right now. I would leave to an apartment if the credit issue wasn't present. I just want to cut her off until she decides that she is going to get the help that she so desperately needs. I can't deal with this anymore.

Wow where to start.

1. What I would do is contact an attorney and ask for advice on just how to tackle all these financial problems in the stat you live in. Some state offer Identity protection laws that may help repair your credit.

I should warn you since you know the person that stole your identity those laws my require you to press charges against her. This is a tough thing to do for any child especially a child who has been adopted. In my mind an adopted child is very special as they are chosen.

Now I am old enough to be your grandfather and almost old enough to be your great grandfather. My advice as to whether or not to charge you mother with identity theft or grand theft fro stealing from you would be to do so.

From what you have written have been an abused child from just about the start of your adoption. No child should sleep in a parents bed or be bathed by a parent after they are old enough to bathe themselves. Every child needs restrictions and limits placed on them as they are young and growing then those restrictions are lifted as they earn a parents trust.

Your mother bought your silence on her abuse with trinkets which is a sign of a person with a controlling personality, something you cannot change. Which brings us to number 2.

2. You need help to establish the self-esteem you have never had the chance to establish for yourself. For this you are going to need professional help from a good psychologist. This is going to take time and hard work on your part. Though there is a lite at the end of the tunnel.

3. I would like you to call an organization called RAINN which stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. their trained professional call takers are far more qualified to help you then I am. They will even help you find a psychologist in your area who can best help you. Their number is 1-800-656-HOPE.

The hardest thing I have asked you to do is to talk with an attorney about just what you have written to us. The attorney can help you find a credit counselor and may suggest filing criminal charges against your mother in order to recover what was stolen and correct you credit history.

This will be hard for a child to and something I do not recommend lightly. If ever there was a case that called out for a child to press charges against a parent it is this one.

I'm sure in her own way you mother loves you and you love her. The abuse you suffered calls for closure. The only way to get that closure and to rectify, at least financially, what has been wronged may be to file charges. That would be for an attorney to tell you. If he or she does then my advice is to follow the advice of the attorney.

The first visit to an attorney is always without charge. If you can't afford the fee they may work out a payment plan, take the case on contingency meaning they will take a part of any recovery or find you an attorney who will take the case Pro Bono, free of charge.

This is what RAINN does best finding the professionals to help you so pleas call them.

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