about

:.Hey x3
My name is Emily and blah blah blah.


:.I have a lot of personal, family, and friend issues of my own so a lot of times, I can probably relate to you a lot of times if you have personal, family, and/or friend issues.


:.I can offer a lot of information, help, and advice on family and friend relationships, love lives, depression, stretching/flexibility, weight loss, violin, being organized, dog training, forensics (public speaking), keeping up with school/extracurricular activities, eating disorders, writing (stories and poems), and probably a lot of other random stuff like what to drink when you eat something spicy and why.


:.Although I can help a lot of you guys on the above subjects, I don't tend to take my own advice so it can become quite an awkward/ironic/contradicting situation for me or make myself sound like a complete and utter hypocrite.


:.Hannah Whitall Smith once said, "The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right." I agree 100% of it. Advice is advice and it is given when asked for. I give it and I leave it at that. It's up to the questioner/advice seeker to take it.


:.That point leads onto my philosophies in advice giving:
1. Advice is given when asked and no time else, unless your friend is about to irritate a black bear, then you should definitely advice your friend to back away and run for his or her life.
2. Advice is not critical, not judgmental, and definitely not biased. Advice is advice and should remain neutral.
3. Advice is to help, not to get 5s on every answer. As a result, my advice ends up being quite blunt and frank with a hint of rambling mixed in.

If you have general questions on the topics I can be a lot of help in (as listed above), most likely, they will be in my FORUM

If it is not, you can inbox me to request me to put it up.

:.If you want to ask me a question directly...
a)if it is not urgent and can wait a week or so, inbox me.
b)if it is an urgent question such as "I'm being eaten by a shark! What do I do???" first of all, I'm quite amazed that you can type while being eaten and second of all, e-mail me at cancel.life@gmail.com. I will answer you by midnight of that day (or if it's 11:55PM, probably by 3PM the following day).

advice

Okay,
So, my boyfriend, Craig, enrolled in the army about 6 months ago, and left right away for Iraq. Well, a month after he left, I went to a party with a couple of girlfriends. Some man put a drug in my drink, and I passed out on the couch. The man picked me up and took me to a back room and raped me. I ended up getting pregnant, and sine i am pro-life I did not and will not abort the baby. After 5 months of pregnancy, my boyfriend came home and rang my doorbell. When I answered, he saw that I was pregnant and took off.
Now, he won't talk to me, answer any messages on myspace, answer my phone calls or anything!!

what do i do?

First things first: thank you for not choosing abortion!
Second thing, did you report this to the police? You really should have if you haven't. You don't want that to happen to another person you know or don't know. Either way by not reporting this, you're letting a rapist lose.

Third thing--do not try to sort this complicated thing out by the phone, internet, anything but face to face in person.

I understand that he was the immature one wlaking out like that without letting you explain and not facing the problem and running away from it.

Tell a really good friend of his what happened. Explain the situation to him first. Have that good friend call your boyfriend and tell him to meet him somewhere. And instead of his friend going there, you should go or that friend can leave when you arrive there. Key point: be alone together. Tell him that you really want to explain and that you can't deal with losing a person you love.

Incase he doesn't want to hear what you have to say and takes off, prepare a note you wrote. Explain everything in a calm manner on that piece of paper and give it to him before he gets a chance to leave.

If he doesn't leave GREAT. Talk to him calmly and gently. Hope everything works out perfectly well and I am happy about the part where you are against abortion.

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Alright this is major im in school right now so i havnt much time. My little cousin she is 11 years old and she is in 6th grade her first year in middle school. Her mother never taught her good higeane habbits so she smells a little bad but not to bad cause she does take showers and what not. Alright but the other day she came oiff from her bus crying because people were spraying perfume in her face well im in highschool and she came to me crying. Im more like her big sister than a cousin. I confronted the girls when they got off the bus they told me no they didnt spray perfume in her face. Well this morning i went to her house to pick up her brother for school and she told me she got jumped at the bus stop this morning so she wasnt going to school. I asked why she got jumped because the girls told her to meet them at a park near my house and they were going to bring there boyfriends and friends and stuff. So she got scared and didnt show up so thats why she got beat up this morning. My question is im really heated and i want to beat them up cause my cousin cant defend herself am i in theright am i justified or does this just mean im acoward? Please help ASAP because with your help soon or not i will beat them up.

I'm not sure if I'm still in the time frame for being able to give you advice but what are your thoughts on those girls? If you beat them up, you'll be just like what you think of them.

Report them to the school counslor and they WILL suffer bad consequences. No joke. They WILL get suspended in or out of school for at least more than 10 days. I hope anyway. They feel the need to bring down other people mentally or physically so they can boost their little slef confidences up. I suggest you get this think straightened out with the school. Better yet go to the PRINCIPLE. Report this abuse and discrimination against your cousin. Do this and do not:

threaten, physically or mentally harm these girls or anything that would back frie on you. REmain calm and stay level headed so you don't do anything to get these girls off the hook

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This is a question for guys [but girls, i guess you can answer too.]
Okay, so, lets say a girl with a nice body, pretty features, and a good personality has MILD acne. Do you think that that throws it all off, or do you care?
because, yes, I have mild acne, but people tell me all those things anyway. but sometimes, i get the feeling that people only look at the small zits on my face and get grossed out.
i do clean my face and stuff, it's just that i have this stupid disease/virus thing in my body that makes it happen.

so the main question is,
do you, guys, think that girls with mild acne aren't pretty even though if they DIDN'T have it, they would be

Haha. I'm the third girl...with no boys answering this question. But really, why are you asking for guys opinions? You are the one who likes this girl, not them and if they make fun of oyu for going out with her, it's their lose and they're being childish and immature. Am I not right?!?

I mean if you don't go out with this girl because of her mild acne, it's the same as a girl who has mild acne not wanting to go out with you only because of the mild acne. And that is SHALLOW dude.

And as the first person said "Inside is what matters." although it sounds corny, it is true indeed.

And about that feeling you get thinking people ar grossed out about your face..why are you so self concious?! I'm a girl and I don't care because I know that people like me for me and my personality..and no how I look or dress...well there's this one girl that wants to be "punk/emo" and what not but I don't like her anyways. lol.

So here's my advice: ASK THE GIRL OUT. Don't think or care about what other guys have to say because you are the one who likes this girl.

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Okay, so, I have mild acne [i just asked a different question], but now i'm wondering, what really causes it all?
don't say genetics, because my ansestors would have to get it from something as well.
anyone know?
thanks in advance =]

Oily and greasy food like junk food, fast food, pizza, soda, and all that stuff WILL cause acne. In some cases, when you get really small red bumps, it's usually because you're eating too much ketchup, hot sauce, pizza sauce or such so just lay off them. I've heard milk and dairy products can cause acne as well. Also the dirt and oil from your hair, hands, and just hte air around you and anything that touchs your face can cause acne. You should really wash you hands and hair everyday...face twice a day..don't touch your face, eat healthy foods and you should be fine

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One of my bestfriends Asked the guy that i liked out. Well i was really upset about it and she told me to stop acting like a child. She knows that i really like him and have for the past month.

He ended up telling her that he wont go out with her. But shes not the type of girl to give up when she likes someone. She will pester him till the end. And i dont want to hear her talking about him constantly. And i really dont want her liking him i know sounds rude but she gets a boyfriend and wont talk to him for like 2 weeks and then decided well i dont like him anymore.

I know its not actually a question i just need some advice on what i should do. 17 f

----- She knew that i liked him because i told her like 3 weeks ago.

Well, your friend isn't your friend if she would let a guy rule over your friendship. If she doens't aggree that friendship is more important than guys, than that means she obviously don't value your friendship. And guys don't really like guys that pester them every step of the way. So erm don't waste your time on her. Ignore her and just be nice to this crush, talk to him, invite him to group things like bowling or go to the movies without this friend of yours and maybe ask him out..??

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wel i use to like this guy lets say his name is tom and he is asian like me but when he found out i liked him he goes up to me and says i don't like you i like only white and black people and i mean that hurt he judged me so easily because of my culture and then i got this dream i kissed my ex like we were bf and gf lets say his name was apples and i loved him alot but we've both moved on (i think) and all of a sudden these days he kalls me after skewl and then calls me once mre at night time and he always wants me to go on the transit bus with him what does that mean does he still have feelings for me? do i have feelings for him from that dream? but then theres this other guy lets say his name is grim he is soo nice and cute and he always wants me to sit beside him and he loves teasing me does that mean he likes me? that guy that judged me so easily i liked him alot what does that mean? do i have bad taste? should i just stay single? oh please help!!
-thank you

Okay..so
-Tom is the guy that was obnoxious and rude.
-Apples is your ex
-Grim is the guy you think has a crush on you.

Okay..erm. Tom is a bastard. He apparently is insecure about his ethnicity and was so rude to you setereotyping and being somewhat racist..even against HIS culture. You really don't need a guy like that. He has no life and you should'nt even waste one more breath on him.

Apples...maybe he wants to be best friends wiht you and there is a chance that he wants to get back together but I suggest you don't. You guys are ex's for a reason. If you want to go throughall the problems and arguments you guys went through again, go ahead and be my guest. But you guys broke up because you guys couldn't solve things wihtout breaking up so there is no point in going out with your ex again...

Grim...just because he teases you does NOT mean he likes you. I know a lot of guys that tease me. There's Tom, Luke, Terry, Jeff, Stephen, Eddie, and a bazillion other people. But they are just my friend and I'm just their friend. It could bejust Grim's personality and how he acts. I can't tell you if he does or doesn't like you.

And for the single question...you should just stay single until you get your feelings sorted out. You don't want to be going out with a guy while you like another guy and it complicates things up

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Has anyone ever been discriminated against by anyone or anyone popular or famous? How did you deal with it if you did? Thanks. A friend and I would love to know since we are dealign with a huge profile. Thanks. Any advice would ge great!

What do you mean by popular or famous? Like celebrity famous, high goverment level famous or just the usual high school popular?

Well, I know that Arnold Swaczinager..whatever his spelling is..anywhos I know that he is a racist who hates Asian--I'm from South Korea--and then there's Bush where he won't allow homosexual marriage and I'm bisexual.

Discrimination is all around us no matter how many or how we try to end it. Just think of it as this way: They discriminate because they are afraid that their race, gender, etc will be overruled by the ones they discriminate or they just need the feel to discriminate because they need a little self confidence booster.

If this is a big person and you and your friend have EVIDENCE--as in hardcore evidence. Not hearing it by gossip or such--you can sue this person. If you need help with this, PLEASE IM me or email me.

My email is xchoke_on_dead_hopex@yahoo.com and my AIM sn is r0ck0nl0ser

I'll be glad to help out, tadvise you on what to do because I myself have been discriminated at school and the police officer and I had a little discussion on that matter and such. How big of a deal is this person..who is this person??

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well i like this guy and im pretty much waiting for him to ask me out. sometimes he shows signs that he likes me. but i dont know if he likes me for sure. i dont know should i tell him that i like him? the only reason why i dont feel comfortable is because whenever i told a guy i liked him he was like "oh let's just be friends." and that hurts and i dont want to have that horrible feeling again...i just dont know what to do...help?

been there. But really, being friends is way better than being a couple. Think about it..friendships can last years and years but couple end up breaking after a few months. Which is better? Being the girl that goes inot his ex group or in his friends group?

You need to get over that rejection fear and move on. If you are really unsecure about this, ask your friends to somehow find out or bombard him with questions online using a fke sn that NO ONE knows. Not even your closest friends. This is very very fun my dear. Haha. Erm but really, you should ask the guy out..

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[Its going to be long, but please, just help me]Her name is Hannah.
We were the best of friends for about four years, we were so alike and so opposite, it was crazy. We understood each other more then anyone else, we didn't keep a single secret from each other, it was insane. She knew more about me then I knew about myself. She taught me how to be myself and not let others influence me, and how to see beauty in my imperfections.

Over the summer she got into it with this guys. He began fingering her and she hung out with him and his friends while they smoked. I found out she began drinking and our fights became very frequent. I was losing her, and I knew it. She became friends with this group of girls so famous for all the bad things they do, my brother, a senior and high school knew about them. [We're in 8th grade]

I've lost her completley. She's not the same person, she's running away, stealing, drinking, cussing at her parents, cutting, everything. We've both moved on, and I know theres no way to save our friendship. But I miss her, I can't trust anyone anymore and when I hear her name I breakdown in tears.

How can I ease the pain, I have no one to be there for me know when things get tough.

Wow. This is horribl.e beyond words. I know that if my best friend..which won't really happen since he's gay..erm anywhos if my best friend...let's say it was Jen, than I would breakdown too so don't feel bad about that.

Only in 8th and she's already becoming sexually active, drinking, smoking and all that?!?! More teens who begin drinking under the age of 15 are likely to become alcoholics. Tell me about your friend past...like any divorce or abuse or anything? This guy is changing her and she's going under the influence instead of above..I know sounds corny but oh so true.

You should really really talk to her. You guys were the bestest friends, maybe there's still some o fhtem left in your friend. Just call her up and meet her at a playground or somewhere like that and start of with a "I want you to listen to me and not get mad at me. I really care about you and you're tearing me up right now" or something like that. Talk about what's conserning you. Her behaviors, habits, friends, etc. Make sure that you don't lose it and both of you end up screaming and such. Don't interrup either. She'll probably say something like you don't know _________. Tell her. Show her what she's been acting and doing recently. Ask her how she would feel if you started to drink, steal, smoke, cut, etc. Would she care? If she says she does, then tell her that you care about what she is doing too. If she says no, then remind her of your 4 year friendship. Tell her that she needs to get her out of that group and straighten out her life or else you WILL tell the guidiance or principle or some administrator at your school because parents won't really have any power to do much.

Don't bluff. Think of it this way: You've already "lost" the friendship and you'll always have time to gain it back but you won't be able to if you lose the friend. You don't wanna lose Hannah completely. She can easily kill hersle ffrom cutting and if she moves on to drugs she can od. I hope I helped and your friend needs really really big help from someone.

As for your pain, start a journal, diary something--and no, don't make it like blogger.com or anything. USE PAPER AND WRITING UTENSIL or you will get in trouble for something..been there done that. Erm listen to music, draw, write poems or start a serious story. IT always helps me.

If you need additional help or support anytime just feel free to ask me more questions or justIM me at

r0ck0nl0ser

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k this is for guys.. im 13 f and i wnat to no from a guys perspective what you guys look for in order to like a girl

I know that I am NOT a guy but trust me, I have a gazillion guy friends and I know what they like in girls.

1--most guys hate girls that wear too tight jeans, too low jeans, too tigh shirts, or shirts that just scream "let my boobs fall out" because htye think that it's slutty and they don't really appriciate that.

2--they hate it when girls try to baby talk or act like babies

3--they just think that you're trying to draw attnetion and are NOT funn when: you jump up and down, scream something "funny", get uberly hyper, clap and jump and giggled in the middle fo class or anytime anywhere for that matter

4--Lay off the make up. They don't wnat to date clowns. Plus, it gives them the feel that you're high maintnence..which most guys don't like

5--They never ever like self centered whiny bitches.

Just be yourself. That is the key. You don't wnat guys liking you for a fake you...

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i want to learn to dance like the waltz, tango, and other romantic things like that but do girls think that it cool because i can ball room dance but i can't dance like at the clubs

Lets se...it depends on the girl. Some girls may thnk you're nerdy while some thnk that its cute a romantci. Don't try to change yourself or do stuff you don't wnat for a girl because if you do, there is a risk of losing a girl that does like you for you.

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When a girl talks to a boy, what are key things they say or do that gives everyone a hint that the girl might like the guy? Even when talking on IM alot. Like when they say "haha" alot or at smileys frequently does that mean anything? Im 14/m btw.

Erm....it just means that you're funny...don't over think it. If you like a girl, ask her out. Or just involve them in group activities like..go to the movies or bowling with a bunch of friends and that girl

Erm some things that say girls like guys are: they IM you automatically as soon as you sign on, they lke to hang out with you, try to be near you, erm...lets see. I had one. Oh yea, try and strike up a conversation after a 5 second awkward silence...

Next time you're in doubt, IM me at r0ck0nl0ser

and c &p the part you think where a girl likes you and i will probably know. Trust me..it's impossible for me to not know having at least 10 friends who flirst CONSTANTLY

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i have acne, but none of the fash wash things ive tried have worked. what should i do?

AHH NO PROACTIVE YO! I'm serious. A lot of people who used it said that it didn't work even with regular use for about 6 months. It will dry out some peoples skin and cause irritation. Not all products are meant for everyone. Everyone reacts DIFFERENTLY to each products.

One thing that will work for everyone:
-Don't eat greasy foods
-Eat a lot of vegetable
-WATER
-Use Cetaphil to clean your face twcie a day everyday
-Don't wear make up
-Don't put stuff on your face such as oil or sugar
-When you buy sunscreen or lotion, make sure it's oil free and own't clog pores
-Mix green tea powder with fridge water and splash it on every night after washing your face about 1-2cups should do
-Do NOT go to the dermas. They are a rip off. They don't do anything but perscribe medications that will seriously hurt you. Most people regret the fact that they did everything the dermatologists told them. Now at age 30+ they have the worst skin (rough, dry, irritated) and people who took oral medications are suffering from the powerful substances in them. Most of these products never work. You'll have to take them all your life because they only control the acne for a short amount of time

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i am 14/f and i have acne.. but not like MAJOR acne but i have some small ones and when i eat some certain foods like junk food and fried and hot foods, i get bigger pimples, what are some good treatments or face washes? or zit cream for the bigger pimples?

I'm sorry, but I disagree with the advice columist below me. I know this site (only for certain qualified pepole) where every logs on, and types their comments, idea about a variety of topics. One topic is about acne and they said that 1 thing they regret is using what dermatologits perscribe. It really hurt them internaly and externally. It's so powerful and once you stop using it, the acne will come back like crazy. So do not go to the dermatologists. Another thing: most of the people who tried Proactive said that it didnt work, it dried out their skin, it caused buring irritation for some people. It works for some people--yes.But no everyone, so we need to be cautious about what products we use.

I don't recomend store bought products that says it will get rid of acne because it will dry out your skin and cause irritaiton. I'm struggling with some acne too but I've got it under control now and it's getting way better. My guidelines are:

Wash your face twice a day with Cetaphil. You can buy it at Rite Aid, Costco..almost anywhere. It's a really gentle cleanser that will smooth, soften, and make your skin feel uberly pretty.

There are 2 things you can do after you wash your face at night:
1-Miz red ginseng gel kind of thing with hot water and flour. Dip gauze in there and put it on your face for 15-20min. This is VERY effective but the bad side: It's VERY expensive stuff and it requires a long time, complicated, and such. This should be done only once a week. But if you want to use this method, email me or send me a msg to the inbox and I'll give you more specific instructions.
2-Green tea. Mix green tea pwder (organic if you can get it) with water from the fridge. Mix it and just splash it on your face every night after you was your face--about 1-2 cups will be fine.

Tip: Do not do them in the mornings. Do not do both of them in one night. If you're gonna do#1 method, do it once a week and #2 do it every night. This will take some time so yeah.

Those 2 methods will help the acne and make your pores smaller

Lay off of greasy foods like junk food, fries, fast food, pizza. If you get small red bumps, lay off of ketchup, hot sauce, pizza suace, etc. Eat a lot of vegetables to get rid of blackheads.

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13/f
ugh my skin tone is uneven, and i have a little bit of acne so it's basically impossible to get makeup to look normal. haha so first i put on concealer (tru match) on my acne & under my nose where it's red. i have covergirl clean makeup foundation but sometimes i don't use it unless my skin is extra red in some areas, so i put it there. so usually i skip that and use physicians formula loose powder and maybe some powder bronzer. it looks ok for a little while, but after like 2 hours my face looks red again and some of the like, hardened acne(i use retin a micro) looks all gross. i don't know what to usee ! help?

ps: no bare minerals though its probably not worth $60

Honey, you're only 13, no need to throw your beautiful skin away using making. It will cause wrinkles by age 20 if you keep this up.

First, you must get rid of the acne. Putting on make up over it will look okay...for a while but in the long run, it will cause it become worse.

You should try splashing green tea onto your face every night for a while until the acne goes away and keep doing that (wehn I say green tea, YOU mix it with fridge water and green tea powder..not store bought sugard filled green teas). It will make your pores finer and help wit the acne. Don't use anything perscribed by dermatologists because they will seriously hurt you in the long long run. Store products are okay I guess but it really doesn't help but rather burns, irratates, and/or dries out your skin causing your acne to get worse. Wash your face twice a day with Cetaphil and splash at least 1-2 cups of greeen tea onto your face at night. It will really help with the acne which will reduce your usage of make up.

If you want to even out your skin tone, use Aveeno Radiant Glow--I believe is the name--it will even out your skin. Plus it's oil free and won't clog pores

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15/f

i have a friend but she's not close and we both like the same guy but she nor do my/her friends know that i do.

but me and this guy let's call him G well we know eachother and he's always messing with me he's put his arm around me and is a total gentelmen with me.

But he doesn't even know her that well and her/my friends are trying to hook them up.

what should i do?

ALSO i have a feeling he might ask me out and if he does should i say yes even though my "friend" likes him?

Help please!

Tell your friends that you've liked tis guy for a while and that you're feeling jealous because they are trying to set the other girl and your crush up...and then say YES when he does ask you out and if he doesnt ask you out, you ask himout

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13/f/8th grade. i have baby-sat my own brother and sister before, but that is basically it. i am going to start baby-sitting the kids on my street and in my neighborhood. any advice on how to start? like what do say to parents, what i should have them pay, what emergency numbers i should have, anything at all?

Great way to start: Take the Redcross Babysitting course. I took it...it's easy and fun. Make flyers to promote your babystiting job. If your negihborhood has a montly newspaper thing, ask the editor to put your name in there..something like that.

Emergency numbers, basic ones are 911 police and poison control center in your area. Before the parents leave, ask them to leave a set of emergency phone numbers you can call--which will include their cell or beeper.

$5 per hour per kid is about the avg rate..and to the parents, make a good impression

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13/f/8th grade. i am confused about bra sizes. does it go 32A, 34A, 36A, 32B, 34B, 36B, 32C...etc. or what?

the number is the size of your chest (right below your breasts/first rib cage) A, B C, etc. they are your breast sizes

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13/f/8th grade. i am skinny already, but i want to get toned. i want nice abs, legs, and arms. what would a good solid work out plan be for me? it wold be nice if it involved jogging ;)

Pilates is rad yo. Do curl ups, push ups, jogging can tone your legs. WEight liftings a good one to tone

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Hi.I am a 20 year old female.
about 11 months ago I ended a 2 year relationship with someone I really loved. I could not have asked for a better relationship. I was devastated when He broke up with me out of nowhere. I gave the breakup a few months to try to heal, but within 6 months of breaking up with the first boy, I relucktantly began dating another male who I thought was a short term fling. 5 months later we are still dating. He says he thinks he loves me and thinks about me all the time. I don't feel the same way. I've broken up with him 2 times because I am not really sure that he is the type of boyfriend I want. The first time only lasted 2 days because he made me feel so guilty for breaking up. The second time was 2 weeks ago and lasted for about a week. then he came back to me and said all the right things to get me to want to be with him. While We were broken up, I finally got to spend time with my amazing friend, whom I had a big crush on for about a year. I continue to spend time with him now even though we are just friends, I know he likes me and I like him back. Last night he told me that he loved me. I'm so confused and my head is spinning because I know that I could never be with the 3rd guy since I don't agree that he has cheated on almost all his gfs. I don't think I could trust him as much as I want to. My current bf is just sort of there, I still love my ex, and my friend is really confusing. Could you please give me some advice on how to sort this mess out? I would appreciate it.

thank you.

This applies to the 2 people mentioned first: THEY ARE YOUR EXs for a reason. Your first boyfriend broke up with you for a reason. If you get back with him again, it's bound to happen AGAIN with your heart being broken and it WILL hurt more. You really need to move on from him. The second boyfriend--well you broke up with him twcie. There's a reason behind that. If you wanna go through that again, keep him but I suggest you don't because relationships with doubt really doesn't work. The 3rd guy, just stay close friends but not more than that. You can't trust him and without trust there can't be a relationship. Cheaters will cheat again and that will rarely change. Why don't you ask your current boyfriend if he's okay with the idea of seeing other people for a while. If he doesn't want to, break up with him. You don't need a man by yoursidde 24/7. Go to clubs or something like that and meet new people. And do not go out with the 3rd guy because he is bound to cheat and if you do go out with him, you're asking for a history where you've been cheated on and you won't be able to trust another guy

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