about

:.Hey x3
My name is Emily and blah blah blah.


:.I have a lot of personal, family, and friend issues of my own so a lot of times, I can probably relate to you a lot of times if you have personal, family, and/or friend issues.


:.I can offer a lot of information, help, and advice on family and friend relationships, love lives, depression, stretching/flexibility, weight loss, violin, being organized, dog training, forensics (public speaking), keeping up with school/extracurricular activities, eating disorders, writing (stories and poems), and probably a lot of other random stuff like what to drink when you eat something spicy and why.


:.Although I can help a lot of you guys on the above subjects, I don't tend to take my own advice so it can become quite an awkward/ironic/contradicting situation for me or make myself sound like a complete and utter hypocrite.


:.Hannah Whitall Smith once said, "The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right." I agree 100% of it. Advice is advice and it is given when asked for. I give it and I leave it at that. It's up to the questioner/advice seeker to take it.


:.That point leads onto my philosophies in advice giving:
1. Advice is given when asked and no time else, unless your friend is about to irritate a black bear, then you should definitely advice your friend to back away and run for his or her life.
2. Advice is not critical, not judgmental, and definitely not biased. Advice is advice and should remain neutral.
3. Advice is to help, not to get 5s on every answer. As a result, my advice ends up being quite blunt and frank with a hint of rambling mixed in.

If you have general questions on the topics I can be a lot of help in (as listed above), most likely, they will be in my FORUM

If it is not, you can inbox me to request me to put it up.

:.If you want to ask me a question directly...
a)if it is not urgent and can wait a week or so, inbox me.
b)if it is an urgent question such as "I'm being eaten by a shark! What do I do???" first of all, I'm quite amazed that you can type while being eaten and second of all, e-mail me at cancel.life@gmail.com. I will answer you by midnight of that day (or if it's 11:55PM, probably by 3PM the following day).

advice

im not sure if this is where the question should go but i want to go to a site for cutting. or start a website for people who cut or self injur them selfs does anyone have any idea where i should go?

Well, the infamous myspace is one...you can search for a group or create a group there. Also there is blogger.com

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Ok im bi, and I like this kid but I dont know if he is or not. What do you people think I should do? Come out to him? That what I was thinking but what if he tells everyone and what if hes not? Do you think I should come out to the school or just come out to people slowly like just tell friend first? Im in the GSA and most people know about me there. Does it matter? Im really depressed.

Okay, you may not want to go out and say "I;M BI!!" because there are some really cruel homophobes out there and I speak from experience...don't do it.

As for this guy, be friends with him and not much more. You can't tell a person is bi or not if they're shy or conservative. Also tell two or three of your closest friends. You can also ask the closest one to become this kid's friend and later on ask if he's bi or not for you without mentioning that you wanted your friend to ask this kid..

Good luck and if you need more help or something, just IM me on AIM

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im in a secret santa thing for x-mas and i got a guy who i really dont know or get along with mind you but w/e...what should i get him...budget is 10$ btw...

Make a card and stick a $10 bill in there!! haha.

Or ask around and see what he's into. Maybe get him a $10 gift card to a store he'd enjoy.

But if you're going to get a gift for someone you don't quite know, it's just best to give them money so they can use it for whatever they want...maybe add some cookies..

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19/F

I'm going to a formal dinner and dance this weekend with my boyfriend and his parents.

I'm wearing a black halter dress that comes down to my knees on the left side and my calf on the right... it's really pretty :) I'm wearing purple flats with it.

Thing is, I don't know what to do for hair and makeup!

Here's a picture of me, to make things a little easier.

http://photos-908.facebook.com/ip002/v49/175/94/72600492/n72600492_31101908_2785.jpg

I have really short brown hair, blue/grey/green eyes, and pale skin. Currently I only own black eyeliner and black mascara (I'm ridiculously low maintenance!)

Any help before Saturday would be appreciated!

I think that you look just fine like that in the picture...maybe just comb up your hair a little bit more neatly? The make up--if you did put some one--should be the exact same as the one in the photo..

But I think you should get heels (preferably black or silverish gry) instead of flats..

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I've had a really bad cold for the past couple of days, with a runny nose. Now my nose is all red and sore and the skin is all dry and gross!

I have to be at a formal this weekend, so if anyone can give me any tips on how to reduce the redness and help it heal faster, I'd appreciate it. I'd really prefer to not have to wear foundation or coverup though, because it bothers my skin.

First of all, be gentle with the tissue and use soft brands. For the runny nose, get one of those nose medicines you shoot up and that should help a little with the runy nose.

Since your skin is dry, it should be moistured so used Neutrogena moisturizing cream or something like that. Use a gentle skin cleanser when you wash your face and get better =]

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Im a Guy and I'm 17. For some reason when I see Attractive people, such as gils or bous, I feel the need to want to be friends with them. If i see a good loking guy I think to myself "how can i become friends with them?"

Whats does that mean!

It may be just your hormones raging up or you could be bi.

Erm, ask yourself this...when you see a guy, would you rather hug him or kiss him? If you want to hug him, you just want to be friends. As for the girls, you're normal...

IM me if you want more help or something

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ok this is getting me really really mad. Every1 says I really like a guy who i trust will all my heart and I think hes starting to believe it and its like getting me really upset. Like, I think of him as a really good friend and i tell him alot but i dont like him. I know your gonna say calm down but like its sooo annoying when every time i go to talk to him their like "oooh Mary" and im getting so annoyed and like i know he doesnt like me. So he used to hang around with us alot but not anymore and hes starting to ignore me and when i try to talk to him in private hes like anything you say you can say to any1 else around here. Im like "i can't" but then he gets mad at me. Its like im loosing a friend that I REALLY wanna keep....also like i dont react ill just say no i dont and thats it but he reacts and just like leaves as soon as they start. I was really mad at him day about it so i tried to avoid him and when he came over to us we talked and stuff and he said something mean so i kicked him hardish and he like kicked me lightly back and stuff so I playfully kicked him back then he like pushed me like not a quick push like the one were its like puhing ba ck so i pushed back so i wouldnt fall in tthe snow and he just like snapped and yelled Mary stop flirting with me already!

I love him sooo much as a friend but now everythings starting to fall apart. I admit I flirt with him but I can't help it...How can I get him back to his old self?


I;m sorry that my advice didn't work out but if he wants to go around believing rumors instead of his best friend, he's not the best person in the world and if he gets scared of a paper and graffite on it, that's his problem.


Well, first you need to tell your friends to just stop because they're being immature about this and breaking a really good friendship that you want to keep. Write this guy a note saying that you really want to keep this good friendship but people that are saying that you like him are ruining it and that you only like him as a friend and no more than that.

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im male
16 years old
ok well me and my girlfriend have been together for like a few weeks now and we started out going really fast like making out in my bed and stuff and like all of a sudden she wont let me kiss her goodbye or ne thing ans she sais she wants to slow down is this like a sign she wants to break up with me or sumthin yea i know im a guy and this is prob a stupid question but yea

Maybe her hormones were driving her guy crazy and then she came to her sense--what the heck am I doing making out in his bed without even going out with him for a month?!!?!

I'm not her so I don't know but form what I've done in the past...that might be a sign of her indicating that she wants some space (even if she brought this upon herslef) and that she really wants to slow down or it's over. So just give her some time to slow down. Just keep it to a kiss max and give her space and let her chose to pace you guys move at

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i was talking to a guy that i like heres the conversation

me:we should hang out that is if you arent already hangin out with some girl
him: i wish
him: sike
him: ill hang out with you
me: u wish? im sure you have plenty of girls
him:nahh not as many as you wuld think
me: well i dont see why you wouldnt have as many as i think
him:uhh
him: lol
signed off at 3:20 pm.. (he got kicked off)

do you think maybe i scared him by saying that or what do you think he meant by the uhh? THANKS

Guys are confusing and they blame us for being complicate? HA.

Anywhos, he's just being a guy...the part where you kept on saying that he has more girls to hang out with and such menat:
1. That he has a lot of girl friends..which may have offended or boosted up his self esteem
2. It made it sound like you were really really low on your self esteem and confidence.

So don't ever do that again...

When he said uhhh he was just replying to that previous IM you sent him and it was his way of.. "What are you talking about... I don't know/don't want to answer that question" and whatever.

I know that I'm not a guy and you're oprobably wondering where I'm coming up with this from..well lets say that I have half my guy friends figured out and I must say that they are all very very different and I have a lot me beingthe tomboy..anywhos

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im rilly confused my mom hits me but its kind of my falt so it just dosnt seem like cild abuse to me but my best friend was over one day and saw what was going on he ses i need to tell but i rilly rilly dont want to . what should i do????

plz tell me what i should do
thanx
13/f

It's never your fault if a parent hits you. It's their actions and not yours. They could've given you a stern lecture or gorunded you for life but hitting is never okay. This is child abuse.

This is going to be really hard to do but as your firend said, you need to inform someone of this matter because this can soon escalate to a higher level of violence.

You can go to safeyouth.org (I believe) and talk to someone that works on that site on there and discuss about this. I really suggest you do because it's annonymous with professional help and I don't want you to make rash decisions or something that would be bad..

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I need to choose a book written by an american author by friday and I have no idea what I want!

I'd like to read a good romance book (I wanted to read The Notebook but somebody else got it before me) or just something interesting, I guess. Nothing too long and nothing too obscure, because I'm going to be researching the novel and the author so if I can't find any information on them, I can't write the paper.

So if someone could give me some recommendations, that would be great. And maybe a little bit about the book you're recommending. I'm mostly looking for good romance novels but I also like mystery, thriller, whatever. Just something interesting.

Thanks!

You dont have to read a ROMANCE book, right?

Well anywhos...
Things Change by Patrick Jones is about a girl and her abusive boyfriend...if my memory is right

Another good one is Keeping You A Secret by Julie Anne Peters which is about a girl finding her true orientation and the hardship she faces.

Some good books are:
Stormbreaker
The Hotzone
The Outsiders
Go Ask Alice

I must warn you that the hotzone is a little long and boring if you're not too interested in scientific things. The Outsiders is such a moving story and it's absolutly fantastic. Go Ask Alice is about a girl who gets addicted to drugs and well, read the book to find out what happens next. All these books however are serious page turners. I seriously couldn't put the book down... and I'm not kidding. It's really good.

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Okay! So...There is ALOT here...Well, I was dating this Guy named Logan for over a year, and we kept fighting because this other guy, William, put the moves on me, and Logan thinks i've done things with William, infact he truely believes it, like without a doubt. But, I really haven't, and he won't believe me so one day I told him that I had done things with Will so that maybe Logan would get off my back alittle, but it just made things worse, and whenever I tried to take it back, he kept saying he got a confession, and I griped him out and said he wouldn't believe the truth, so I told him what he thought was the truth so that we could just move on, but he kept complaining about it, for over 7 MONTHS! And it killed me, because he truly didn't understand how much it hurt me or how much I really did care. And i'm afraid he'll never know, because he broke up with me just a few hours ago. And this makes him sound like the bad guy, but he really is not, basicaly I did do things with William, but not as far as Logan thinks. My mom used to tell me to hold Williams hand, or I couldn't call Logan. So I went without calling Logan for awhile, but he got mad about it, so I started holding Williams hand, and hoped that maybe I could keep that a secret, and I made it clear to William that I only did this so I could talk to Logan, and Logan naturaly got even more pissed, and suspected more happened, because my sister said I had.

And basicaly...It was just a GIANT mix up...But, he told me he doesn't feel the same anymore, but I don't know if he means it because he's said things like that before just to hurt me...Because he thought I cheated on him. But after that, some girl named Brittany started moving in on him, and I freaked out, and got angry at him. But I never told him to quit talking to her or anything.

And now i'm just so worried that I won't get him back, and I feel so empty. He was my whole life for over a year, and I CAN NOT bear to lose him! I really can't! It feels like if someone hit me with an 18 wheeler, all it would do is relieve alittle pain from the break up, and maybe get my mind off of him. And at this point, I would do ANYTHING to hate him. To dislike him so much that I would be glad he broke up with me. But I can't, and I don't know what to do...

I want him to be happy, but I won't be happy until I have him back. And I just want him to love me again....


I can't live without him.


(15/f)

WOAH, honey, you're only 15...CHILL.

As you know, relationships don't work out very well unless there is trust and your ex doesn't seem to trust you at all so forget about him. If you really want to go through all those accustions, mistrust, and complaining, be my guest but I wouldn't bet on it. One thing is that he won't trust you and another thing is that you'll just get mad over that and he'll be mad at you for being mad at him which becomes this whole jumbled up mess that will lead to a break up..again

Just write him an eloquent letter type thing. Clarify that you never did anything with Will and explain all those misunderstanding in details. Say that you were really hurt because the someone you deeply cared about didn't believe you. Tell him that maybe it was your fault that this whole thing started but you are sorry for whatever you did that offended/angered him. Blah blah. End with a "I don't want us to end in a bitter fight and I want to remain friends with you" or something like that.

Read over it...make sure you didn't say things that popped into your head because you were mad blah blah and hand it to him.

But seriously, if this guy can't trust you, you two arn't gonna work out so give up and move onto other guys..

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female. senior in high school.
ok so there is this guy, lets call him bob. so last year i saw bob every now and then and always thought he was cute. i saw him again this year like last week for a second. he stayed in the same room as me for a whlie talking to someone i knew and we both for sure made eye contact and saw each other. then i saw him the next day and stuff and we smiled at each other. i know that he recognizes me and stuff and i guess "knows i exist" but just we've never talked but i really want to and i sort of get the feeling he thinks im cute and whatnot. i found his myspace but i dont want to add him cuz that'd be really weird since we've never talked and i dont want him to think im weird/stalker. i dont know how else to start this tho cuz whenever i see him in the hall its for like one second. i really think hes cute and think about him all the time bc theres just something about him. we're not in the same group of friends but i know a couple of his friends but not well enough to get their help. help! what do i do??????

Ah imfamous myspace. Whatever.

Just add him on there and when he accepts your friendship, send him a MSG not a comment but a msg asking "Haven't I seen you around school before?" and just strike up little conversations with him.

He won't think you're weirtd/stalker lady because..well hello, you guys go to the same school and saw each other a few times.

After you talk to him for a while on myspace, or aim or whateer, when you see him in the hallways at school, just wave hi or smile at him or whatever and the rest..well you figure it out

GOOD LUCK

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Alot of people say i give great advice, but i cant help myself on this one. a while ago i went to the emergency room for a broken ankle, and now my mom has to pay $1000 for that. There are too many bills and our crappy insurence just went up. so with all this preasure, my mom is realy stressed out and depressed, wich makes me realy stressed and depressed. plus i have alot to worry about at school, i get good grades so i have alot of responsibilitys. Chess team, M.E.S.A. [math thing], honors english, giand science/technoligy project, writeing projects, and tring to maintain my 3.9 g.p.a and college reading level. im 14 and in 8th grade!!!!! I need help, i want to help my mom out but im too young to get a job, i cant babysit cuz i dont have neibors with kids, and im way to stressed, please help

Woah. First of all don't think about all those activities at once. RIGHT NOW make a December calender and write down what's what on what days and the times and whats due in what classes on what days and you'll prioritize which will make your life a lot easier.

Since you're too young to be earning any money, all you can do for your mom right now is give her peace and quiet, try and do as much as you can for things she ask (like taking out the garbage) help her around the house and maintain your good grades and help her when she needs it (like chores) and give her silence when she needs it. Try not to go and say "Oh my goshness I want those!" or something like that. Lay off the whole going shopping/eating out/going to moives and whatever. Try to limit on the frequency of when your friends come over/you go over to their house

Try to make life easier on your mom's life for now

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So heres my problem...

my parents are really uptight, and a little closed minded when it comes to my future. They still have this picture perfect mental image of me graduating with honors, and getting a bussiness degree, and starting a normal life. Problem is, I dont want that. I have bigger plans, and a passion for music so great its almost unreal. All i want to do with my life is something meaningful, and inspiring to others like me. Sure it may sound like a childish dream, i want to be a rockstar kind of thing, but hey who ever said we cant dream big right?

My question is, how do I get them to realize its not going to be how they picture it. every time i try to confront them about it, they brush it off as if to say "you think thats what you want to do" but i dont think, i know. thats what they dont seem to understand, becuase they never had a passion like I have.

Any help would be much appreciated.

My dear, I'm with you on this situation...the worst part: I'm younger than you. Haha.

Seriously, my parents expect me to be the picture perfect child to mearsure up to my sister's immortal accomplishments and all I wanna do is write songs and sing in a band so HA it's not childish--and you're not alone in the view.

But you also have to understand where your parents are coming from. They don't want you to live too harsh of a life where you're stressed out under finacial problems and they just want whats best for you. YES I said that trite statment...

Tell your parents that you don't want to be held down the the problems of life jsut yet and that you're still experimenting with it and you feel like you have a long time ahead of you to settle down. Tell them that you want to make mistakes so you can learn from them instead of following orders. Tell them that you understand that they want a bright successful future for you but you don't want to put that into place just yet.

Good luck =]

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Ok so my family has a long line of ADD and ADHD. My mom is the only one in my family who dos not have it, but many people on her side of her family have it too. The problem is my school work is starting to go down a substantul(Sp?) amount because i am restles and i cant focus. I want to ask my parents about seeing the dr. My brothers and dad go to but im to shy they will think i am faking or something. The reason i know i have it is because my bro said that i act the same way he acted when he was not medicated.
Please help, soon.

Go ask your mom if you can see a dr. because you're worried that you might have ADD/ADHD. It's nothing to be shy about and if they think you're faking it or something let the doctor prove it.

If they do care, they'll take you to the DR because ADD/ADHD without medication can effect your school work in a bad way...

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heyyy well i can tell you right now that i don't really have big problems. other than those normal teenage problems with school, but I guess that maybe it is beneficial to ask here, because I might get back some useful advice. I really feel super sad, and I don't know why. Sometimes at night before going to bed I just cry and have no idea why, so lately I've been feeling this way. I thought it may be PMS or something, however its not because I'm not PMSing. So, there must be something bothering me? am i depressed? because I may get anxiety, but this feeling is painful and I just don't know what there is to do! advice me please n ty

It's not depression my dear. I think that school is getting to you and you're getting stressed from teh changes that occured this year or friend problems and what not.

Maybe you're holding too much in and not sharing anything with people that you should shar.e...anywhos just write down whatever when you're feeling sad, cry, and what not.

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How long does it take to burn fat?
IS it 30 minutes?
And How exactly does your metabolism work?
And what does it do?

Thanks a bunch!!

Okay, so depending on how strenuous the workout is, it changes the rate...but normally, it takes 30min for your body to use the fat that's already floating around in your body. After that your body starts to use your stored fat so normally working out for an hour will burn a fair amount of fat depending on how hard the workout is.

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theres this boy and well i kindve got a huge crush on him. he's nice, caring,and respectful. but my only problem is he likes my best friend. not any kind of like more like obsession. he always talks about her, flirting with her. ect. she says she dont like him that he aint her type but i dont believe her and i know i should because shes been my best friend even before this boy. when im with them she flirts with him, i feel like grabbing her and beatn the shitt out of her but i aint the the type of girl who fights over a boy ...iight i know he's a waste of time but no matter how much i try to stop liking him he always does sumthing to make me like him ..i dont get him anymore he alwaysz tells me he loves me and how cute i am.. his cuzin even askd me if i liked him. he makes me believe he loves me and not her sum daysz and otha daiis he makes me feel ugly and hated. im going to be honest im mad and jelous ...i love him wat should i do ?

ASK HIM OUT. there is nothing wrong with a girl asking a guy out so ask him out before he gets taken. Ask him if he wants to join you and watch a movie with your or something like that.

Or just straight tell him that you like him...write it in a note if you want to

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14/F
How do you ask out guys if you are a shy person???

Just suggest that you and him go to bowl or watch a movie or whatever with a few other friends. Do this several time and when you're confortable enough to ask, just ask if he wants to go to a movie..together...without friends...haha

Good luck

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