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my parents, and their views (male, 17)
So heres my problem...
my parents are really uptight, and a little closed minded when it comes to my future. They still have this picture perfect mental image of me graduating with honors, and getting a bussiness degree, and starting a normal life. Problem is, I dont want that. I have bigger plans, and a passion for music so great its almost unreal. All i want to do with my life is something meaningful, and inspiring to others like me. Sure it may sound like a childish dream, i want to be a rockstar kind of thing, but hey who ever said we cant dream big right?
My question is, how do I get them to realize its not going to be how they picture it. every time i try to confront them about it, they brush it off as if to say "you think thats what you want to do" but i dont think, i know. thats what they dont seem to understand, becuase they never had a passion like I have.
Any help would be much appreciated.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
hmm .. tell your parents that YOU have a dream that your gonna fofill .. sure their your parents & they want whats [ best ] for you , but shouldnt you do sumthin that you enjoy and will have fun with it ? tell your parents that you have to decide your future , they can help .. but not make ... just like that sayin [ you can lead a horse to water but cant make it drink ]
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I have a friend who was in sort of the same situation. He wants to be a train conductor (the guy is crazy about trains) but his parents didn't like the idea. So, he's at university studying engineering as a backup.
It never hurts to get a college education. It's not even wasted time... college is a great place to get involved in band competitions and coffeehouses and stuff. You know, get yourself out there and recognized.
And then, if your dream for some reason doesn't pan out, you still have something to fall back on other than minimum wage hell :)
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Give music a shot. They'll seem angry as hell for a while, but they'll be proud that you are trying hard to accomplish your dreams. Your parents know what it's like, even if they don't tell you. They were 17 once, after all. For example, my parents want me to have a good job with good pay. But I want to work with dogs. So in February, I'm going to be spending all my savings (and risking my credit by taking out a loan!) to start a doggie daycare facility. And you know why? Because I want to, and when I look back, I don't want to say "what if..." I could go bankrupt, and never be able to start another business, buy a house, or even get a measly cell phone, because my credit sucks. But I might also learn that this is what I need to do with my life. This will be the start of something big, whether I succeed or not, and it will be for you, too. I wish you the best of luck.
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It sounds like you have the determination it takes to succeed in what you want to do.
Parents always think they know whats best. I think when you tell them you don't want to do things quite the way they want you to its probably scary for them.
With luck, and possibly some success :) they will
probably, in time, come to accept whatever you decide to do with your future. For right now just don't bring the subject up any more than you have to.
You will probably have to work at a few jobs along the way, but, I wish you luck in following that dream. You're only young once you know, so go for it. :)
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I think that you should do what you want to do. Like the person below me said, it doesn't REALLY matter what your major is. What REALLY matters is that you have a degree.
However, your parents probably won't be open to this. This is why I did a little research to find majors that are both music and business related. For example, in the U.S., there are 27 public 4-year colleges that offer a major in Music Management/Merchandising, and 14 community colleges that offer the same major, according to collegeboard.com . The music part should interest you, while the management/merchandising part should please your parents because it is business related.
You could also decide to get 2 degrees: 1 in music, 1 in business. That would be expensive and take a long time, though.
Good luck!
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Yeah, they should be more understanding of your dreams, but they do have a point. Let me explain. They may not be being entirely realistic, but neither are you. You are at one extreme and they are at the other. They are doing this in an attempt to counterbalance you out. The best place to be is somewhere in the middle. Your "picture" of how your life will be has yet to be painted. You're 17, it could end up being practically anything. You need to have a backup plan. You can't just decide to become a rock star. Most people that don't leave their options open and go blindly into the arts don't make it. It's okay to dream big. There's no problem with that, but you can't let your dreams get in the way of your life. You're young. It's hard to imagine what life is really going to be like. There are going to be bills you'll have to pay, maybe a family you'll need to support. I'm not saying that you won't make it and that you shouldn't try. What I'm saying is, you need to put your dreams on hold until you have a more established and stable life. Keep with your music, but don't make it first priority at this point in your life. You can join a band in college. You could go far with it. Without an education though, you're putting way too much pressure on yourself. Pressure that you might just not be good enough to take. There should always be a plan B and a plan C especially when you're dealing with your future. Your parents are realistic people. They're not opposed to your dreams. They don't "know" that you won't make it. They just want to make sure that you're not screwing yourself out of a happy future by having such big dreams. They know what they're talking about, they just aren't saying it in the right way. They do want you to have a happy, successful future. If the rock star thing happens, it happens. If it doesn't, you're going to look back and say "wow, my parents weren't just being uncaring, unsupportive pricks. I went 'all or nothing' and I lost. I should have listened to them." My advice for you is to go 'all and something'. A normal life can be a very good life. It's better than nothing. Keep your options open and get a college degree in something stable. There's no reason why it can't be related to music. It should be. There are many different types of degrees out there. I'm sure you can find something that you like. It's not so much what the degree is for when it comes to getting a job, it's the degree itself. Of course it helps if the degree has something to do with the job you are applying for, but it doesn't necessarily hurt you if it doesn't. On the side, keep with your dream. You can do both. It's not going to be that hard. College will help you with it more than it will hurt you. It'll give you access to other people like you and a good audience that wants to hear you perform. This way, there is no chance for you to lose and it'll keep your parents off your back. If they make you apply as a business major you can always change it. I hope that your dream comes true for you. You have a lot of drive and passion and I think that no matter what you end up doing in your future that you will be successful. Keep your expectations high, but there's no need to be taking huge risks so early in your life. Good luck.
P.S. They do have a passion for something. YOU. :)
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My dear, I'm with you on this situation...the worst part: I'm younger than you. Haha.
Seriously, my parents expect me to be the picture perfect child to mearsure up to my sister's immortal accomplishments and all I wanna do is write songs and sing in a band so HA it's not childish--and you're not alone in the view.
But you also have to understand where your parents are coming from. They don't want you to live too harsh of a life where you're stressed out under finacial problems and they just want whats best for you. YES I said that trite statment...
Tell your parents that you don't want to be held down the the problems of life jsut yet and that you're still experimenting with it and you feel like you have a long time ahead of you to settle down. Tell them that you want to make mistakes so you can learn from them instead of following orders. Tell them that you understand that they want a bright successful future for you but you don't want to put that into place just yet.
Good luck =]
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show them that your serious
enrole in music school after highschool and if they disapprove, ignore it and enjoy the rest of your life knowing that atleast in 20 years you wont be looking back saying "what if.."
and if it doesnt work out you can always go back to school later.
good luck!
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hey man go for it.
but becareful with what you say, "they never had a passion like I have." their passion is you. they care about you. they want you to live a good life. just take into consideration what they say sometimes...at least 20% of the time, sure it sounds lame, but they were kids once, i mean hell my dad started opening up to me and i was saying "YOU DID WHAT!!"
i mean who doesnt want to achieve their life long goals, i want to be an orthepedic surgeon, but i think thats out of reach because well i hate angles and having people mad at me when i mess up.
so go for it rockstar.
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