I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)

Facts about me:
*large extended family
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)


I'm a 13 year old girl and there's something wrong with my jaw. It's been going on for about a year now. At the beginning, it was just when I chew food or him or whatever it would kinda get stuck if that makes sense. It gets really hard to keep chewing. But last month it started not opening all the way. When I yawn it'll sometimes only let me open halfway so I have to close my mouth and test every few minutes to see if I can open it because I'm afraid that I'll get hurt if I force it. Is there some easy way to fix this or should I ask my parents to take me to a doctor?

It could just be muscle cramps or it could be something very serious. If you do a search online of your symptoms, you'll find a lot of people complaining of the same exact thing. Your parents don't need to take you to the emergency room or anything, but you should explain to them what has been happening, talk about what it could be, and schedule an appointment to get it checked out just in case. Good luck!


PS - Don't let the Internet frighten you. Most of the time when you start looking up symptoms online, you end up thinking that you're going to die. It's probably not serious at all.


how do you burn pics and videos from your camera to a dvd disc so you can view them using your dvd player?

This is a really hard question to answer without knowing what kind of camera and what kind of computer you have. You probably have a program that you can use for this, but different programs are available for different types of computers. Add additional information to your question or ask another question with more information. Windows or Mac? What kind of camera?

You will also need to check to make sure that your disc drive will burn DVD's. Some can't.



The whole thing could be really, really easy, but it's impossible to tell without knowing exactly what you're working with!


Hi.I am in a relationship with my guy for almost 9 months.We have our ups and downs but now adays , we've been having our downs only.It's like , we had sex 4 months ago and now , we just don't have a place where we can have it.I am absolutely okay with it , but he's all horny and devastated.We've been having so much fights lately.It's just so bad!I just love him so much and he does too.We end up leaving each other after every fight but we get back together and have a fight all over again.I cannot live without him.I try to fix the fights and they do get fixed but we have a fight all over again.I don't trust him anymore.He describes how horny he is every single day but I can't do anything about it.We don't even have privacy when we meet , it's just public places.So we can't really do anything.And his ex lives near his place , she always pops up out of no where and that girl is extremely horny aswell , he doesn't talk to her much and all but lately he has been talking about her a lot.I try to keep my cool but she sent him a text asking him to go at her place to go get some songs and shit with using all the winking emoticons.So I was like "So go to her place ;)" and he just went like "yeah" an then I was like "Have some good sex with her maybe" and he went like "If I tell her she will do so" and it pissed me off so much!I expected a different reaction but I was like wow!and then I went like "If you're trying to make me jealous think what would you have done if I told you something like that regarding one of my ex" and he was like "I was just telling you what she said" and so I didn't answer his text anymore and he just sent me another text saying "Just dont talk to me if you can't behave properly!" I mean like what the hell?!And so later we fixed the fight and I told him what I expected from him and he just went like "I am devastated and horny but I keep calm and I didn't expect you to ask me things like that , I was shocked" and so I told him that "That doesn't even make sense , I don't even trust you anymore!" and we ended up having a fight again.
I don't know what to do.I love him.Mom knows about us , my cousins know.I don't want us to end.But I don't see any options either.

You need to be brutally honest with him. It's not like he wants sex and you don't so you're avoiding it. The two of you cannot find a place and time where sex is possible. He knows that.

What you need to tell him is that he needs to quit telling you how horny he is. Tell him that there's nothing that you can do about it and bringing it up all the time accomplishes nothing. It's making you feel like all he wants you for is sex. If he's so horny all he needs to do is masturbate and stop bothering you about it. Once an opportunity arises for sex to take place, he will be the first to know about it and it will happen. Until then, tell him that he needs to stop talking about it because it is destroying your relationship. There is no reason to bring up his horniness again until there is an opportunity for sex.

If he can't do that or doesn't understand your feelings, I'm here to tell you that he's not interested in you as a person or a partner. He's only interested in you as a body. You're much more than that and you can't allow someone to treat you that way. Sure he's said really nice things to you, but anybody can do that. It takes a person that really cares about you to act like they do, not just say it.

You say that you can't live without him. That's an outrageous statement to make. You certainly can. You have before and you will again if things turn out that way. There's no reason to overdramatize your statements. Yes, it would absolutely crush you and it would hurt for a long time, but you'd be okay.

If he can't respect you by abiding by one little request to stop mentioning how horny he is, he is not a good person to be in a relationship with and your fighting will eventually lead to a very painful breakup. Try to get him to understand that his words are hurting and worrying you and that you'd like to talk about something else for once. How awful it is of him to want to talk about himself all the time? What is your relationship even based on now? Endless conversations about hormones? What a dreamy guy! Ugh.

So, to recap - There's a very simple solution to being horny. He needs to just shut up about it, masturbate as much as he needs to, and wait patiently for the opportunity for sex with you. That should be pretty simple. If it isn't simple, it's over. Good luck.


So... I have been having this issue going on for some time now. I have been with my boyfriend for a few years and my mom has not liked him for a while. I first thought that it was a phase. Then, I thought she would grow to like him eventually. But, now it is worse than ever. He was away for a few months for something that he needed to do for school. Those months were pure bliss with my mom. I finally remembered what it was like to love my mom again because we weren't butting heads. We were just friends. I'm 23, by the way. I live with my mom and grandparents at the time because I cannot afford to move out. I live in an expensive city and I'm a teacher, so I don't make very much money. I had a plan to move out, etc. when I had some more money just so that I could have peace of mind. But, it's not happening right now... at least for another couple of months. This summer, like I said, my mom and I re-kindled our relationship.

Upon his return, it was like everything I ever saw in him was different. Things that I took as a joke now seemed serious and rude. For instance, today, I was running late or wanted to slightly change our plans and he told me that my mother was a psycho liar and that I should never believe anything she says. PS, he doesn't know how she feels about him. He was just saying so because she was part of the reason I had to change the plans. Then, I told him that we have all had to sacrifice our plans at one point and I gave him the example about how we both left town on my birthday (to the same place) and didn't see each other because he was with his family and I was with mine. He could have chosen to come with me and I could have chosen to go with his family. But, it was my birthday and I wanted to spend it with my family. I was just using it as an example. I wasn't implying anything about it. This was months ago! And he said that it was my fault that he didn't see me because I decided to go with my family. We were in the same city! He could have certainly made an effort to take a cab or even send some flowers to my hotel... i don't know. I'm not saying something huge. Just an effort to know he was thinking of me. I've excused his behavior since I've met him. Now, I look back and see that it wasn't so nice of a thing to do. And before summer, I would have excused this too and say "he's just frustrated." Now I see how quickly his anger escalates and I don't like it.

There have been other situations that have happened in the past. Like, how he got angry at me because I didn't have cash to pay for parking when he had a wallet full of cash. If we've had a difference in political views, he turns bright red in anger and has pushed me away. One time, he was fighting with someone over politics and I thought they were just talking until I walked through the middle to throw something away. They were at a reasonable distance away from each other so it wasn't like I was cutting through them. He got angry both at me and the other person, but grabbed me and bent my thumb to my wrist. It was throbbing till the next day. I have excused it all. It was like I was under some weird spell. And now, I see how wrong it is.

So, this question is going to be broken down into a few pieces. First of all... I wouldn't even know HOW to end it. I feel like I still care. It's not like I'm a ball of fury. It's just that I think that I deserve to be happy. I want to feel loved. And I have felt loved before, so I know the difference. I don't always want to feel scared that I've offended him. And I can only see this getting worse. Imagine... bending thumbs now... how about when we are married? How about by the time we hit a 20 year anniversary? Do you really think it's going to get better? But, it's just hard. It's like I'm not ready... even though I know this is necessary. How can I get over this? What do I do?

Secondly, I have some issues with my mom that need to be addressed too. She turns into a PSYCHO when he's around. When he's not, she's my best friend. When she's around, she wants to throw me out of the house and tells me that she hopes I know that if I'm with him, she will never be a part of my life and she won't want to meet her grandkids. As much as I love my mom, this is unacceptable behavior from a parent. She is in no way providing a safe environment for me to come to her with real issues that a mother is to help her daughter with. Instead, I feel fear. Then, I burst into anger because I get angry at the fact that at 23, I need to live in fear. And then I feel even angrier because if it weren't for financial issues, I would be able to move out. So, it turns into a whole circle.

I don't want to be deciding this for my mom. I just wish someone can extend a hand and just say: "I think this is what you should do." An objective person. Someone who is not in this situation at all. I am crying out for help. Please answer!

I think that a big part of the issue is that you've defended your boyfriend to your mother for so long that it's almost something that has to work out. Now that it isn't working, you feel as if ending it will be giving in to your mom's inappropriate reaction to him, even though it really wouldn't be. You know you're going to get a lot of "I told you so's" and she's going to be happy when you are heartbroken.

The thing is, you have to take your mom out of this entirely. Separate from your mom, the relationship isn't going well on its own. If you choose to stay in the relationship, it would be more because of your mom than choosing to get out of it. An overcorrection of sorts. Because you don't want your mom to have an influence on your decision so badly, she actually will and you'll stay in a relationship that you probably would have otherwise ended if she hadn't been so against it. It's weird when you switch your logic around, isn't it?

Don't stay with this guy because of how you remember him. How you remember him isn't how he is. Even looking back, you're seeing things now that you failed to see before. There were good times and he's a good guy, but it doesn't seem like you're compatible with him long-term. If things are bugging you now, yes, they will big you more later on. A breakup will hurt more later on, too.

The last thing I want to address is your lack of openness. Why didn't you talk about how your mom feels about him? What makes you think that he doesn't know? Maybe he does. People are more perceptive than you think. If you had talked about it, things could've gotten better. Tactful open communication is important in any relationship. Don't tell him about it now because you may be ending things with him soon so there's no point to make him feel worse for no reason. But, it's something that he should have been aware of and that you should consider in any future relationships.

People break up all the time. There doesn't have to be a major betrayal or catastrophic falling out. If more people were honest and were more concerned about avoiding mistakes than about preserving each others feelings, don't you think there would be fewer divorces? Don't let this get worse over time. It will. End the relationship before it gets bad. It will be hard, but for every day that you wait, it gets harder. It seems like he's ready for it to end too, doesn't it? Good luck.


I sent a few nudes to a guy I met online and he's sent me money in return for them and now he's blackmailing me saying if I don't send him something else then he'll post all my pics on the internet.. Is there anything I can do to stop him? Can the police do anything?

This isn't a criminal matter. Do not go to the police. You sold him pictures, so what are the police going to do? Break into his house and take them back? They can't do that. The pictures are his property because you sold them to him. He can legally do whatever he wants with them now. It's not blackmail at all.

Unless you have a contract in writing with him that a condition of him purchasing the pictures is that he will not share them, there's absolutely nothing that you can do about it, ever. Him saying "yeah, okay" in a chat isn't enough. Even if you do have a legal contract, it might not matter. If and once he does post them online, they're there forever. At that point, it would be a civil matter and you could try going after him for money, but there's little chance that you'd win. You don't need me to tell you that you did something really stupid. You know that it was. A judge would know too.

Are you a minor? If so, contacting the police would be a horrific idea because you could get into trouble for selling child pornography, which is rather serious. Besides the fact that they wouldn't legally be able to get involved, the police have much more serious issues to deal with than someone being upset over the very foreseeable consequences to a really stupid decision.

I am very sorry that this is happening to you. We often don't realize or we choose to ignore the possible consequences of our actions when we're in the moment. Unfortunately, you're not alone. This happens to a lot of people. The laws need to catch up to the times. They haven't yet.

There's a good chance that the guy is bluffing and isn't going to do anything. He's getting off on the power that he thinks he has over you. Take that power away by refusing to send him anything else. If he's really going to put them online, he's going to do it whether you send him more pictures or not. It would be best if there were fewer. Rather than saying "no", come up with a bunch of fake excuses. My camera isn't working, my Internet connection is acting up, I can't get a minute alone, I have the flu, I dropped my phone in the toilet and can't afford a new one for a month, etc. He might lose interest on his own. There's a small chance that you're the only person that he's doing this to and he'll focus his efforts on the others if it starts to be too much effort to get anything from you. Good luck.


He has a baby on the way by a girl he got pregnant before we set boundaries and he has had money issues and i helped im with him every night and im happy but i just feel,for myself, i need that commitment especially before the child gets here to feel that security and have that commitment..i deal with a lot dating him and this situation and i feel i deserve at least that...but i dont want to feel im forcing anyone to "be" with me..although im always with him, his family knows about me, etc...do i wait it out or stand my grounds about having his all or nothing...

I could tell you that you need to give up on this relationship, move on with your life and never look back and you might even agree with me, but you'll never listen to my advice, which breaks my heart for you. Attempting to make a life with this guy is the wrong thing to do and you know it, but you'll continue trying because the chemicals in your brain are forcing you to even though it's the worst decision in the world. Take a long hard look at your situation and try to see it from a point of reason. You deserve for him to leave you forever because even though it will hurt for awhile now, you will be much, much happier without him than you ever were with him once some time has passed and you get over it. He got a girl pregnant before you set boundaries? I'm pretty sure you shouldn't need to have a direct conversation with someone about how they shouldn't have unprotected sex with other people if they're genuinely interested in you as more than a fling in the first place. You don't want to be with a guy that's going to be that stupid. There's no way the pregnancy was planned and you do not want to be with someone that makes such bad decisions. Unprotected sex? Are you kidding me? If he's having money issues now, how is he going to ever pay child support? You say "I'm with him every night" like that's some sort of win. Don't you think it's a bit pathetic? You deserve for him to dump you and never talk to you again because that would be the best thing for you. You deserve so much BETTER, like a good man that's going to treat you right and he is not one. You have so much loyalty, but you're giving it to a person who doesn't give it back and won't start. He accepts money from you? What a guy! Get the idea of "love" out of your head and make a good decision for yourself. Every good thing that he does for you, you can find someone that can give the same things, but without the pain. You need to require more for yourself. Again though, you're not going to listen to me, so why am I even saying any of this? Like so many before you, you're going to give in to your desperation to be with him because of how you feel when he's awful for you and you know it. Feelings fade, his bullshit will not. When the next guy could make you feel just as good as he does, never make you feel bad, not have to have discussions where you need to prohibit him from participating in behaviors that if he really cared about you he wouldn't even dream of doing, and not have to give him money, you can't choose this. Get out of it NOW, this minute, today, or YOU might get pregnant, get stuck with this loser forever, and spend the rest of your life dreaming about what your life could've been. You asked for advice and there it is. Do with it what you know you need to do, not what you want because even though he is what you want right now, he is not what you need and once you experience someone that is actually right for you, you'll wonder how you could ever have wanted this. I promise, you'll never look back. Good luck.


My wifi is fine, I've uptaded the app, and I've restarted my phone (I have the samsung 5) and it still won't upload my videos. When I try to do it it try to upload it for a mila second and says it failed again. Another issue is it won't say I have 16 followers. If I click the followers thingie and count it I have 16 but it still says I have 15. I tried emailing instagram but they won't answer. What should I do?

Since nobody has answered this yet, I'll give it a shot. I don't have an instagram account, but I know that oftentimes if you have a questionable internet connection, it can cause issues like this. Try resetting your wifi or attempting to upload a video using someone else's wifi or your data plan if you have one. This seems like the most logical thing that could be wrong. Even though everything appears to be working just fine, uploading a video involves a lot of data being sent through thin air and a slow connection will become an issue. I hope you figure it out, good luck!


I'm a 14 year old girl and there's a job that I want to have when I'm older and I don't know what it's called or if it's a real job at all. I've always had incredibly strong senses of empathy and sympathy so I'm always wanting to help people. The job I want is going around to different troubles countries and helping those who are starving and need medical help that they can't get in their countries. If obviously be putting myself in very dangerous positions sometimes but I'd rather die young changing the world than die of old age at home after a life of changing nothing. I'd also need to get some kind of doctoral training to get a ton of medical knowledge. Is this actually a career I can pursue?

Absolutely! There are a lot of programs that do just what you're describing. Once you get into medical school, you can talk to your professors to see what kinds of opportunities are out there for you. If you live in the United States, think about joining the Peace Corps. http://www.peacecorps.gov/

It might also be a good idea to talk to your school guidance counselor about your plans. Make sure that you're taking the right classes and performing well enough academically to realize your dream. Even if you can't get into med school, there are other ways to help abroad. Good luck!


hi people!

im a 19 year old girl & ive only tried anal once. from that experience im terrified to do it again.

when i did it the first time i got a hemorrhoid, disgusting yes i know! & also he cummed in my butt & when he pulled out it made a couple farting sounds but i dont think i farted? im not sure but it was embarrassing & i dont ever want that to happen again!

any suggestions or comments? thanks!

also any suggestions on how to clean your butt out before anal? because you poop there lol, i dont want anything coming out or smelling, sorry i know this sounds very out there! i just need some help!

thanks in advance and sorry about how weird this sounds haha!:)

Why would you be asking for help on how to solve these problems if you had such a bad experience the first time around? Anal isn't your thing. So don't do it. It resulted in you getting a hemorrhoid, that's awful. Don't risk it again. You were humiliated by the sound of air that had been pushed in, coming back out. Knowing that it wasn't a fart doesn't make it any less embarrassing because it still sounds like one. This is going to happen when you do anal and can't really be avoided. You're worried about how clean it is in there because you don't want anything coming out or smelling. People that participate in and enjoy anal are not worried about this. Clearly, you aren't into anal. There is no reason for you to do it.

This brings me back to my question. Why would you be asking for help on how to solve these problems if you had such a bad experience the first time around? Someone is asking you to try it, right? Some guy really wants you to do it for him. Well, the answer to all your problems is to just explain to him that you're not into it. Explain that you tried it once, had a bad experience, didn't like it, and that was enough for you. Do not do this just to make him happy. You may be willing to, but even if you are, it's not the right thing to do. No part of a sexual encounter should be a sacrifice. Both people should enjoy all parts of everything that the two of you choose to do. Otherwise, it's just bad sex and sets you up for being pressured and having your generosity taken advantage of or stretched too far in the future. If this guy is worth anything, he's not going to care if you don't want to do anal. He might want to try it, but he'll certainly live without it. I'd prefer it if my husband would trim his pubic hair better than he does, but he doesn't want to and it's his body to decide that for. I really don't care about it that much and I respect what he wants to do. It's really that simple. Your need to please needs to end.

If you don't have a boyfriend asking to do this with you, I apologize for assuming so. In this case, my answer is still essentially the same. Anal isn't your thing. Don't worry about it. Communicate this to your partner and everything will be fine. BOTH of you will be happier if you do. Trust me. :) Good luck!


I'm 13 and I know that all teenagers have acne but I have an unusual amount. My denatiligist have me a cream but it's not helping. I clean my face with a gently soap and cloth in the morning and evening then pay it dry with a towel, use the cream my dermatologist gave me, and pull my hair out of my face. Even after all of this my face is oily again a few minutes later. With seven kids, my parents really can't afford any of those special soaps. What can I do? Are there any home remedies that really work? Oh, and the acne is in my forehead, chin, and cheekbone area if it matters.

If you've seen a dermatologist, see him/her again! If the cream that you were given isn't working, there are often stronger concoctions or different kinds that might work. I would imagine that it's very rare that the first thing that you try is going to be perfect. Let the dermatologist know what happened and that cost is an issue. Remember that if your family has health insurance, something that the dermatologist prescribes to you should be covered by your insurance and won't cost your family very much at all. If you go out on your own and try to find something in a store, you're going to have to pay full price and you're going to have less of an idea of what might work. Definitely go back to the dermatologist one or two more times before giving up on this person's help. He/she an expert and will be able to help you more than anyone else. Good luck!


My boyfriend had sex with me yesterday and it was my first time doing it he didnt pop my"cherry" and today I feel sick and my stomach was bouncing, what does it mean? And can I still get pregnant if my "cherry" isn't popped?

This "cherry" that you speak of is a bunch of nonsense. There isn't something in you that "pops". You may bleed your first time if your partner isn't cautious because of stretching and tearing, but nothing in that area "pops" open. Your vagina is already open. There is no such thing as a "cherry". If your boyfriend's penis entered your vagina, you have a chance of becoming pregnant.

Sometimes, people are referring to the hymen when they are talking about a cherry. The hymen is a completely different thing though. Some very young girls have a membrane covering most of their vaginal opening. If you've had your period before and blood has come out, your hymen is not completely covering your vaginal opening, which means that your vagina is open and you can become pregnant from sexual contact. The hymen can be torn open a bit larger when you are a child as a result of normal human activities such as running, biking, and horseback riding. Your hymen doesn't pop when you have sex for the first time. If you are healthy and have had your period before, your hymen already has an opening in it, so there is nothing blocking sperm from traveling into your body.

It was very foolish of you to have sex without protection and I'm sure that you know that. Do not allow anyone to convince you to do something unsafe ever again and never just "go with the flow" because you don't want to ruin the mood or hurt someone's feelings. Even if you're a shy or quiet person, you must speak up when it comes to things like this because it's your body and your life that are most at risk. The next time you have a question as important as this, find out the answer before participating in a risky behavior.

Feeling sick and your stomach "bouncing" are probably just a result of you being nervous and over thinking things. We become more aware of ourselves when we think about it. For example, whenever you start to think about breathing, you become very aware of it when just a second ago, it was happening automatically without a conscious thought from you. These things are not related to your sexual encounter.


Ok so I have became and extremely needy girl towards the guy I love we have only been a thing for like 4 months in the beginning everything was good then i took things way too serious i text him all the time and always ask him if we can hang out... he knows he has me whenever he wants so he takes advantage of it..if i back off and stop texting him and let him make the moves will this keep him more intersted?

Be careful backing off too quickly. If you all of a sudden stop texting him all the time and asking to hang out, it might concern him. You don't want him thinking that something is wrong, you're cheating on him, or you're not interested in him anymore. It is important for you to give him some space though. Not to keep him interested, but to keep him from getting annoyed. If he's interested, he's interested and if he's not, he's not. By being "needy" you run the risk of annoying him to the point where even if he is interested in you, he won't feel like he can be with you because he doesn't have enough space. What you need to do to get the situation under control is tell him that you feel like you're being needy and you want to try to stop texting him as much as you do. That way, you're backing off like you need to and he knows why. Good luck!!


So, I recently graduated in December with my bachelors in education. I never really wanted to pursue teaching. I wanted to go into either counseling or administration. But, I needed to make ends meet with the degree I had and I had to take on this assistant teaching job. Mind you, I did not sign a contract for the year. I signed a payment contract (that said how much I would get paid for the year) and then I signed a paper about upholding the school's standards. I have worked in schools before. But, this by far is one of the most exhausting jobs I have ever had. I get there at 8am (not too early), but, those of you who are teachers know that unlike other jobs, you don't really ease into your mornings. You have to go right away. Lunch is from 11-11:20, but we eat with the kids. I don't have a break all day. Since I'm an "assistant," I have to travel with the kids to each and every class. At lunch, I find myself scarfing down my food because I need to take people to the bathroom, get water, etc. The special area teachers expect me to do the majority of the work. Most of them don't do anything. They think the whole day is a vacation. I have them all day. I don't mind staying in the class while they are in art/spanish/science.... but, do I really have to manage their behavior? It is truly exhausting. Every time that children misbehave, it is your fault. If you happen to just have a rowdy one in your class, be prepared for all of the blame to go on you. I come home SO exhausted. I haven't washed my hair in days because of how tired I am when I get home. I can't even enjoy my life after 4:00 because of how tired I am. I don't mean to sound like a whiner.I know that no job is easy. I've been working since I was 16. My first job was at a nursery. Since then, I've worked in an office setting (throughout college) and then an after-care program. This is the worse and most tiring job that I have ever had in my life. I'm not saying that teaching is like this in any other school. I really don't know. It might be. But, this experience in particular is just the worse. This job is just pure torture. It is also a very small school and with such a small faculty, they have people doing extra things. It's just too much. This is not for me. Out of all the jobs I have had, I have enjoyed the office setting the most. Yes, there were days when I was tired. Yes, there were days when we had a ton of work and I was stressed. But, it was nothing like this. I was able to sit and eat lunch (even on those heavy duty days) and believe it or not, 20 minutes of quiet time at lunch (watching netflix, reading a book) made a HUGE difference. I went back to my work a different person. I come back more tired from lunch than the way I came in now! At the same time, the work is also boring and not challenging... just exhausting. All I do is grading and classroom management. Managing a group of kindergarteners for 7 hours a day is extremely difficult. It's strenuous on the body but not challenging to the mind. I use to have hobbies. I use to come home from work and write, read, exercise, cook! Now, I don't even have dinner because I'd rather just go to sleep. Even though I would leave work an hour later, I still had the physical energy to do all the things I loved.

Now... it is wonderful that I didn't sign a contract obligating me to stay. But, I would feel horrible just quitting out of the blue. It's not like anyone has been mean to me or that the people are difficult. The people are beyond nice, the children are great, etc. Plus, we JUST started school. But, this is already affecting my health. I'm willing to send out some applications to institutions that may take a while to respond (like hospitals, universities, etc.) Bigger places. Because that gives me some more time. It's not like I'm thinking of starting at a new job tomorrow (although I wish I could). But, you know what I mean! :). In the event that I would get offered a job elsewhere and I would be making more money and have a more positive health change (right now my salary is $21,000 a year), what can I say? I can't just quit by absence because the people have been very nice to me or quit unexpectedly. When I was in college, I tried retail and 1 week into working, one of the shift managers asked me if I was stupid because she wanted me to walk into a dressing room with a customer and I said I wasn't comfortable). I quit unexpectedly at that moment. They begged for my forgiveness and asked me to come back... but the university had offered me a job as part of a scholarship. But... those people were rude. It wasn't like I didn't like the job or whatever... but, I was disrespected and that was reason enough to quit. But, here, I don't really have a reason to quit other than I don't like the job. I"m not bound to the job because they could find someone else to replace me. I'm just an assistant. But, how can I break the news nicely in the event that I do find another job?

Thank you for reading this far!!

Talk to your union (if you have one) and get a copy of your contract. It doesn't sound like your schedule would comply with it. There are rules and laws and agreements in place that prevent a schedule with no breaks. Having a break and not being able to use it is an issue that your union can definitely help you with. If this isn't the case or it doesn't solve your problem, don't worry too much about leaving. People leave jobs at schools all the time for all kinds of reasons. There are a million reasons that you can come up with like you found a job closer to home, you've been offered a great opportunity someplace else, you'll come up with something. Don't feel bad at all about leaving if that's what you need to do. I wish you the best of luck and I hope that things get better for you soon!


Hi. I am a teenage girl, and I'm supposed to sing in a Talent Show next week. I'll admit it myself, I tend to get really nervous before any kind of public speaking, but people have always told me to share my gift with the world. It's not that I don't want to, I'm afraid I'll mess up or do something stupid, and embarrass myself. Are there certain techniques I could do to relieve my anxiety about this? Advice is much appreciated. Thank you.

Don't feel bad about this. The lead singer of my favorite band is so nervous before performances that he often has to run onto the stage. Once he's out there, he can't go back and the show starts. It's totally normal and natural to feel like you do. Even the pros struggle with it so you're in good company.

The best thing that you can do right now is acknowledge and embrace it. Be okay with it. If you accept it, you're less likely to be embarrassed about it or make a mistake because of it. You must be really good or people wouldn't be begging you to get out there. People will understand how you're feeling because they'll empathize with you. Empathy is like putting yourself in someone else's shoes. For those that don't understand, they're not nice people that don't get life and take themselves way too seriously.

There are tons of things you can try to help reduce your nerves. Here are a few ideas: http://www.wikihow.com/Overcome-Stage-Fright.

Good luck!!


My friend asked me to go to field hockey tryouts with her. Well I figured I needed some Excercise because I've been really unfit lately. But these last three days have been a workout. And today I realized that I'll have to run a mile almost every day and I might get scared playing for a real game. Then they volunteered me to do goalie, well I didn't know that I had to wear a hot black suit. I also realized that with being goalie I will stand out an I really don't like to stand out, and I'm kinda girly(no prissy but I like to look good). And I am SOOOO SORE! I just want to know what I should do, my dad already brought alot of stuff. I also really don't want to play goalie but I already told the coach that I liked it but I don't like it THAT much. I just don't know the only perk of being goalie is not running the mile. CAN ANYONE PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Talk to the coach about how you're thinking about quitting and why. It's not right to quit a team without talking it over with the coach first. No matter what you do, you need to make sure that you show the right amount of respect to everyone involved.

When I was in high school, I convinced my friend to join my basketball team. She came to one day of practice and I felt really bad for her. She wasn't in shape, but she was expected to do the same amount of running and activity as everyone else right from the start. It was really tough on her and she just couldn't do it. She quit partway through the very first practice. I always sort of blamed the coach for it because she could've been a good member of the team if she'd been given a chance to start from her own level of comfort and athleticism.

Talking to your coach about what you're struggling with could solve a lot of the problems that you're having because then the coach would be aware and would consider your situation. I also advise you to stick with it if you can. The running will get easier and your confidence will go up a lot about your body and about being in front of people, which is really important in life. Being a part of a team is something that you'll wish you'd done for longer. Good luck!!


OK, my life sucks. My mother hates me and is doing drugs, my dad keeps molesting me and I can't feel emotions or make friends. Now how the fuck do I commit suicide.

Don't kill yourself! It's a permanent "solution" to temporary problems. There are so many other things that you need to try before considering suicide. I say that you "need" to try them because if you make a decision too quickly without considering all other options and trying a bunch of other things first, you could be denying yourself an amazing life in the distant, or perhaps very near future. You may feel like you've tried everything already. You've tried what you know and it seems like you don't have the answers. You're not an expert on life though. Someone else could have the strategy or information that you need in order to get a good life for yourself. If you've given up on your current situation, trying something else couldn't hurt. Go to this website: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/. It has a number you can call or you can even chat with someone online if that would be more comfortable for you. Definitely do this! What have you got to lose? Good luck.


So last week I was at an extra color guard practice just for fun and my color guard partner was there too She's a senior and I'm a freshman, but we're close friends. So anyway, even though I'm younger than her, I can spin a quad on my flag which is extremely hard to do. My coach saw me doing this with some other fancy work and she asked me if I wanted a solo part of our performance. I obviously said yes and I was super happy. So I went to my partner and she already heard the news. She didn't look excited like I was and I asked her "aren't you happy for me?" And she was honest and told me no. She said she was jealous because she never got a solo and she is better than I am. I got a little offended by this. I told her it wasn't my fault coach asked me. But of course, she yelled at me and told me it was my fault. I then told her how I work as hard as her and how she is never proud of me for anything I do and how she's always better than me and will never say I'm good and that hurts me. We fought more until she yelled at me to shut up and I said no and I tried to finish what I was saying when she hit me. Right in the face. My cheek was bleeding and it was swelling. My partners face was more shocked than mine. She said "(my name) I--" and stopped there. I started tearing up and ran out of the band room. I ran into 2 other team mates and they asked me what was wrong but I ignored them and ran home. My face has a nasty bruise where she hit me and I can't believe she did that to me. I thought she was my friend. What do I do now? I'm so scared of her.

Talk to your coach privately about what happened. It is very important that your coach knows what happened. You don't want your coach finding out about it from someone else or being completely in the dark about the situation in case it gets worse. Be honest about everything. You didn't do anything wrong and didn't deserve to get hit by your friend. Your coach should be able to make you feel better or make a discreet change such as getting you a new partner if you're nervous.

In the future, you do need to lower your expectations for your color guard partner a bit. Expecting your color guard partner to be like a parent by being proud of you and telling you that you're good is over the top. Your partner is a kid just like you. If you accomplish something, approach it delicately. Your partner might be happy for you or might be jealous. If they're jealous, don't shove it in their face when they're hurting. It's not your partner's job to be happy for you. If they're not, it's okay. When your partner first said she wasn't happy for you, you should have let it go. Even though you did not handle the situation tactfully or communicate with your partner well, there is still no excuse at all for what she did.

That being said, it does seem like it was a big mistake. Your partner probably feels very bad about what happened and would like to apologize and work things out. If the two of you do want to talk, do it with your coach there. Your coach would make a good moderator and would be able to offer good suggestions. I think that you should give your partner another chance. Did she help you get to where you are now? If so, tell her. Try to be a better communicator, have realistic expectations, and be more mindful of her feelings in the future. Good luck!


I'm a 13 year old girl and I think that I may have an eating disorder of some type but I'm not sure. I've been eating less, eating healthier, and exercising one a week to lost weight l because I'm only 5 foot but I weigh around 140 pounds. I figured that I should lose it now because everyone in my family is obese, it's in the genes, so I'm trying to avoid that. My eating schedule is usually like this: I'll have a yogurt or some fruit for breakfast, skip lunch or have carrot sticks or something small and then have pretzels for dinner. And I feel like this is too much. Sometimes I'll binge too and then punish my self with fasting/liquid diet for a day or two.

What you describe is absolutely an eating disorder. No doubt about it. Seek help immediately. You don't want to be obese like your family, but what you're doing and thinking is very, very dangerous and just as unhealthy as being overweight (maybe more!). There is a balance in the middle that a professional can help guide you to. Do not let this go. You really do need help before your perception becomes distorted. Good luck.


hey guys! im a 19 year old girl & i ended up hurting my leg by running 7 months ago and just got referred to do physical therapy. i used to work out and run everyday! since my leg started hurting ive been off for 7 months now, all ive been doing is binging & when i say i binge eat i mean it. its so insane i eat more than anyone i know. ive gained about 30 pounds in 7 months because of it. i used to weigh 128 and now i weigh way more. i literally feel it when i get up and walk or anything. its horrible. none of my clothes fit me anymore!! i hate it and it makes me so depressed. my body gets me depressed as well as the way ive been eating. i know i have to stop but its hard. ive been trying to eat healthier. i went out to eat for lunch & dinner everyday for the longest time. im now trying to stop that & trying to get a healthier life style like i used to have. i want to be healthier so that when i start to run again (when physical therapy is over & im allowed to get back into running fully) im not completely out of shape.

any advice or motivation??? i really need some! thanks:)

I know what you mean when you say that you feel it when you get up and walk. Think of it this way: a gallon of milk weighs about 8 pounds. It's not that heavy when you first pick it up, but if you try walking around the store with it for awhile, it gets difficult. For every 8 pounds that you gained, it's like carrying a jug of milk around all the time and never being able to put it down. That sucks and it's definitely what motivated me when I needed to lose weight. I was getting winded trying to climb a flight of stairs, but it got a lot easier after I shed a gallon and a half of milk. I was skipping right up.

This method isn't for everyone, but it truly worked for me. Counting calories. It's the most scientific, basic method out there that does not restrict certain foods. You can eat ice cream and pizza if you want. I did. What counting calories did for me was force me to come up with creative ways to eat less. Ultimately, I decided to have a small lunch, stop snacking, and eat a big dinner. The program also forced me to exercise. I really wanted to meet the calorie goal that was set for me each day, but if I got hungry and wanted a snack, I'd usually have to exercise so that I could fit it in. The beauty of counting calories is that you can figure out what works best for you along the way. It allows you to be creative, doesn't restrict you, and sets appropriate, achievable goals.

Join a website or app such as livestrong.com/myplate. All you need to do is put in your current weight, set a weight loss goal of 1 or 2 pounds a week, and it will tell you how many calories you should consume each day in order to meet your goal. Every time you eat something, you type in what it was, how much, and the program will calculate how many calories you have left for the day. You can also type in any exercise that you do and it will increase the number of calories that you're allowed to consume based upon how many you burned. It's super easy and most of the math is done for you. I decided to track my calories for a week without making any changes to what I was eating to see where I was starting from. This helped tremendously because I was able to see where I could make cuts and it helped me begin to learn what was high in calories and what wasn't. Don't jump in too fast. Have a plan.

The only thing that bugged me a little bit was having to count things. For example, if I wanted to eat chips out of a large bag, I'd need to count them. If I wanted a slice of cheese, I'd have to quick cut the whole block into serving sizes. If there are 12 ounces of cheese and each ounce is a serving, if you cut the block into 12 pieces, you'll know exactly how much cheese you're eating. It took a week or so to get the hang of it, but it was well worth it and I can do it in my sleep now.

Counting calories may not be for you, but I can tell you, it truly works for me. Good luck.


I am in a crisis involving a horrible case of writer's block! I cannot decide on a topic for my personal statement I need written, revised, and embellished by this Friday! There are two prompts on the UC applications and no matter which one I choose, open a new word document for and just begin writing sounds like a load of crap. I am too distracted by my past and how it's shaped me as a person and cannot find a good solid yet positive topic to write about. I don't know if I can do this. I have scoured the internet for tips and advice but none has helped. I'm feeling low, and desperate.

The instructions for writing a personal statement include this: "Find your individual voice and express it honestly." Your problem is that you're not being honest. You're trying to shape yourself into what you think a personal statement should be like. The worst thing that you can do is come up with a cookie-cutter statement that is going to sound like crap and be just like everyone else's. Nobody wants to read that. Not even you. A story where the main character goes through no level of adversity, challenge, or struggle is a rather terrible, boring story.

Make your statement stand out by making it a truly personal statement. Be honest. If all you can think about is your past and how it's shaped you, write about it! That's what you're supposed to do! Your struggles and how you have overcome them should be the focus, not a distraction. It may be negative, but it's what has shaped you into the person that you are today. Struggles in life are sometimes what bring about the greatest, most positive qualities in people.

Use your own voice and write what your heart is screaming at your brain to put down. If you are honest, it will be a moving, wonderful piece of writing that will catch the eye of whomever is tasked with reading it. It will stand out from the rest in a good way. Consider this quote from the movie Mulan: "The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all." You have a story to tell, so tell it. Good luck!


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