about

I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)

Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*college degree
*no kids (yet)

advice

15/f and I have a few questions about having pubic hair. I don't have wax available to me so I do shave it but that area gets really irritated and forms bumps of red and is really rough unlike the skin on my legs or underarms when they are shaved. Also, in which direction is it better to shave the pubic region? Sorry this is awkward

To add to the advice you've already gotten, hair conditioner makes a really great shaving cream and let it grow in a bit before trying to shave again.

http://www.wikihow.com/Shave-Your-Bikini-Area-Completely

[view]


This guy has been asking me for sex since Sophomore year. He's been asking me stuff like sex, and stuff related to that I see him a lot bc I'm a lacrosse manager and i became one in 10th grade and he plays. He asked me and I was like watch the game bc he was talking to me and this was during our junior year. And he was like is that a no. I didn't say anything. He asked me again and he was like are u in the middle like yes and no and i nodded my head. Also he snap chatted me after and was like i know you want to have sex with me, he's serious. I snap chatted him saying "ok ill admit it, I want too. happpppy?" and he didn't snap chat back. And then we planned on hooking up after one game but I sorta faked because we were going to his car or mine and Im very unsure about myself he's been bugging me since 10th grade. He showed interest too in 9th grade like its weird!
But all of that is over! We never did anything and he has a gf. So our summer started this year, he contacts me in the very beginning of summer and it was just a awkward but he still wanted to do stuff with me.
We are rising seniors now, do you think he's still trying to get my pants, once lacrosse season starts again or maybe during the school year? I want him so bad..

I snap chatted him saying "I guess.. you'll never f*ck me" and he didn't snap chat back, but he always views my stories all the time. What is he thinking now?? Maybe bc its summer? Please answer my question right here!

It's nice to feel wanted. It's nice to know that someone wants you. It's easy to want someone back. What's very different than all of this is actually hooking up with someone. Take this for what it is: flirting and hormones. It is not, nor should it be, anything else. This guy seems like an idiot. It's nice to feel wanted, but what's nicer is someone that wants you because they like you not just because they think you're attractive. If you ever did have an experience with this guy it wouldn't be good. He's not interested in your needs and he was probably all talk back then. He has a girlfriend now and has matured. You need to mature too. Wanting to have sex with someone because they talked abut sex with you isn't mature. All you're going to do is get him in trouble with his girlfriend by sending him these messages. He's not going to want anything to do with you once you ruin his life. Seriously though, if this guy wants you, others do too. If he was so bold to say what he said, there are a lot of other guys interested in you. You're probably really attractive to guys. He can't be the only guy looking at you and being like "damn". He was just the only one that was immature enough to talk to you about it in the way that he did. Let your experience with him be a confidence builder. There are tons of guys that want you. I'm sure he still does, but it's not going to happen and it shouldn't. Find someone that you actually like personality-wise, get to know him, start dating, and have sex with him! It'll be so much better than this creeper. As good as it made you feel to hear it, he's a creeper. Non-creeps want you too. They're just not going to be creepy and let you know about it so directly. Forget about this guy. You can do way better. Good luck!

[view]


My parents brought a dog home last night and it's so annoying! It keeps fighting with the other dog and has peed on the floor three times. Despite this, I'm the only one ticked off as everyone is like "aw look how cute the wittle puppy is". He was barking at three in the morning last night, and not just a little bit, a full-on frickin' chain of YIP YIP YIP. He knocked over my Chromebook and my mom got mad at me even though I put the charger up on the chair where I thought he wouldn't get it....I hate this dog and wish we would've gotten a kitten instead. Kittens are cute. I wish I could love or at least tolerate it though....what do I do? Just suffer until he's trained?

Puppies aren't for everyone, but there are some things that you can do to make things better. The reason why the puppy was making noise at night was probably because it was the first time away from his mother. This is very common and shouldn't last for more than 2 or 3 days so just hang in there. Knowing that there's a puppy in the house that can knock things over, just be careful about where you put things. If it's peeing on the floor that much, your family is not taking care of it properly. It should be let out every half hour or so and someone needs to be watching it constantly. Consider crate training. Do it yourself if you have to. It may be worth it if you can train the dog more quickly. Crate training is also a nice way to keep the dog out of trouble. If that's not an option, maybe baby gates? Put them up so the dog can't go certain places in the house? Good luck! You won't hate the dog forever. After awhile it won't act much like a puppy anymore. Honestly a kitten probably would have caused just as much trouble too. Rather than suffer until it's trained, train it yourself. There's tons of info online about how to do it. It can actually be fun and rewarding. If you're not willing to do that, then don't complain and just tough it out.

http://www.humanesociety.org/animals/dogs/tips/crate_training.html

http://www.inch.com/~dogs/cratetraining.html

[view]


Because I can insert a tampon but it always feels a little odd. Not necessarily uncomfortable, but I can tell it's there. I'm just wondering if I'm still doing it correctly or if I need to push it in farther.

As long as it doesn't hurt you're fine. It is true that some people can't feel them, but certainly not everyone. It can also depend on the brand a bit so try a few different kinds. Good luck and don't worry about this stuff!!

[view]


My boyfriend and I are middle school sweethearts and we have finally decided to try and start a family. For 9 months we have practically been having sex every day maybe 3 days tops inbetween we wouldn't. I have weird periods where i skip every other month,so it's hard to schedule anything. I'm still not pregnant, i don't know what I'm doing wrong. Seeing a negative on every test i take is heart breaking. Please set me up with some useful advice. My boyfriend and I are ready to have one of our own, it's just not happening.

I think that what she's saying is that they've been together since middle school. "Middle school sweethearts" like "high school sweethearts", meaning that they've been together since they were young, not that they are young now. If you're at least 20 years old, continue reading. If not, are you crazy? Wait!

Lots of people have trouble getting pregnant. It's not uncommon at all. The best thing that you can do is schedule an appointment with a doctor especially since you have an irregular cycle. It's possible that all you need is a fertility drug. It's also possible that one of you is infertile. A doctor can help you with everything. Good luck!

This link contains way more information than you need, but is informative.
http://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/ss/slideshow-which-treatment-is-for-you

[view]


I'm quite embarrassed to say that I am a 33 year old female virgin and have never masturbated. I don't think there is something wrong with me, it's just an opportunity to have sex never happened. But now I am constantly thinking of sex, getting sexual urges sometimes for days on end etc. I am even thinking of getting a vibrator just to please the urges. I am quite scared to do it, since it will be my first experience but I am also quite excited at what I might feel. Is there something wrong with me or my sexual urges? Will it calm the urges a bit if I masturbate? I am quite shy about this subject as sex and masturbate is not a common subject in my family / friends circle. I am quite a sorry Suzi / sad case and feel like I am doing something so out of character by ordering a vibrator. Any advice? Should I masturbate?

You shouldn't be embarrassed! If you're thinking about trying masturbation, why not go for it? It's very different from an experience with another person so don't think of it as losing your first experience. That will be just as special and different when it does happen whether you've tried masturbation or not. As for calming urges, it may or it may not depending on the person. You can only really find out once you try it. Since you're shy about this, it might be a good idea to try without a vibrator first. This might not make sense, but you shouldn't try using a power drill before you know how to use a screwdriver. Start small and easy just using your hands. Get comfortable with that and work your way up to the vibrator. Once you've had a little experience, buying a vibrator might not be so scary and you might even have a better idea of what you want. It seems like you really want to try and just needed a little reassurance. Go for it and good luck! :)

[view]


My bf of 9 months just dumped me. We were Absolutly head over heels in love. He comes from a super strong Christian background but when he was in his early 20's pretty much split away from the church. His fam is super religous still and recently have been attempting to bring him back to the church. The past month he became distant because he was so torn on what to do. He is very about loyalty to fam and was struggling w the fact that they would dis-own him if he didn't come back. He's almost 30 and says he had been thinking of one day trying church again and so because of the pressure of losing his fam, he has decided he really wants to make a good hard effort now. Because I am not of the same faith, he said he had to end it. His family would never accept him marrying a girl not a part of their church. He said he still wants to stay friends because as bf/gf we are also each other's best friends. My bday is in 1 1/2 months and he says he wants to still get me something and I asked and he agreed maybe hang out if we are ready. Till then I'm going to back off and let us both heal for a while first, but do you think down the road maybe we could work on things once he feels more like he has a grasp on this? I've even been considering maybe converting if in a few months I'm still not over him. I don't know how to go about bringing that idea up as well. Has anyone else ever gone through this and had it work out, or is it pretty much, if it's about religion, it's over...?

His family is more important to him than you. You can deny this or defend him all you want, but based upon his actions, it's true. You may even say that it's okay if your family is more important than your girlfriend. Do you think that someone's family should be more important than their spouse? Of course not. If you were to marry him what would make anything change? It's not just his decision to follow a particular religion that we're talking about here. Your family shouldn't ever be more important than yourself. He decided to go back to the religion because of them, not because of him and what he really wants to do or believe. His family's wishes are the most important thing in is life. This is a hard truth that you need to come to understand and you need to realize that it's not good. Your feelings are getting in the way of seeing that he's a bad person to be in a relationship with because of what he has done here. If you find a way to get back together with him, his family will always be an issue. Whether it's about religion, kids, or something else. It's best to move on. If HE changes his mind again and decides to be with you, maybe it's worth trying, but leave it up to him. If he is going to cater to what his family wants rather than what he wants, he's not going to ever be a good partner for you. Something like this causes huge problems within a marriage. Even if you're okay with accepting it now because you love him, you won't be okay with it later, especially when kids are involved. The last thing you want to do is begin catering to his family yourself. Converting to a religion for the primary reason of being able to date someone is completely ridiculous, desperate, and pathetic (and you probably know that). You should only convert to a religion because you believe it, not so that you can be with a guy. If you're interested in Christianity, look into it and see if it's for you. Don't do it for him. It wouldn't be believable and is an insult to the religion. If you're able to be friends with him go for it, but it might be difficult to just be friends at this point. I may sound kind of harsh, but when you're desperately in love with someone, you're bound to do something stupid if someone isn't harsh with you. It may be hard to see something like caring about your family and being religious as a bad, unforgivable dealbreaker, but it should be in this case because he's doing it for the wrong reasons. Get out and get over him now before you get in too deep. It will only feel worse the farther you make it with him. Just because you love someone does not make them right for you. Good luck.

[view]


I have a question if I have a to go pre paid phone but I put that sm card in an I phone and I'm on a friends wifi and I post something dumb talking about someone. If someone like the law were to trace what I post what will they pull up the wifi address my IP address? Which would be bunch of numbers and What if my I phone has my name as it's name? Can they pull that up? Will my IP address on my phone give me away?

Yes it will. Absolutely. Don't say dumb things. If you have to say dumb things, never put them in writing. It will come back to you. This means that in order to say dumb things, you have to say them to the person's face. Since you don't want to do this, you must be a complete coward or you're just trying to hurt people. Either way, you should probably think about being more of a better person who says smart things and less of a loser who says dumb things. Good luck.

[view]


I'm going on a diet and I only want to eat around 500 calories a day (with little to no cheat days) I was wondering if this is safe/ healthy as long as I get all if my vitamins and nutrients. My Bmr is about 1,400 and I'll be exercising so I know I'll lose weight. I've been eating avocado, almonds, milk, oranges, apples, bananas, blueberries, raspberries, strawberries, oatmeal, spinach, tomatoes, fish, tofu, grapes , broth, watermelon, green tea, black tea,and of course water. I'm planning on expanding the list if I do this long term. I eat 5-7 small meals a day. So is this safe? I've heard that if I do this my body will start eating my muscle so I've put the diet on hold until I know for sure. If this isn't safe, I'd like some suggestions to improve my diet, like how many calories I should eat. Thanks! (Oh and by the way, I'm a woman if that matters.

If you were to completely gorge yourself with food every day to the point where you were consuming enough food to gain a pound every 2 days, you'd be really really unhealthy and disgusting. Agreed? Well, it's no different the other way around. If you completely deny yourself of food to the point where you're consuming so little, it's SUPER unhealthy and disgusting. It took you awhile to put on the extra weight and it's going to take you awhile to get it off. That's life. Healthy weight loss is about 5 pounds per month. In order to lose 5 pounds per month, you need only cut about 500-600 calories per day from your regular diet. That's like one snack. If you are really serious about losing weight, you have to set realistic goals for yourself. It it not realistic to limit yourself to 500 calories. In order for your body to sustain itself so you don't get sick and die, you need at least 1200-1500 calories per day. You might be able to pull it off for a week or so and lose a bunch of weight all at once, but you won't be able to sustain it and you'll feel miserable all the time because you're hungry and your goal is simply unattainable. You'll probably end up gaining more than you were able to lose. I was able to lose 12 pounds in 3 months by limiting myself to 1500 calories per day. Isn't that good? Wouldn't you like to be the one saying that? Three months isn't really that long. You can do it too. It's going to take dedication and it's going to take time. Avoiding food will destroy your body, you'll look terrible, and you won't learn how to sustain your weight once you lose what you want to lose. Good luck!

[view]


So I met this girl in school and I've known her now for a year, and I really like her but she has a boyfriend. Now I'm friends with her on Facebook and I looked at her boyfriend and he looks like a low life, degenerate, douchebag. And I've called this girl sweet names before like sweet heart and stuff like that and she said that's one thing she likes about me because her boyfriend doesn't call her sweet names and I would take time out of my day to talk to her when her boyfriend wouldn't even talk to her when he's watching TV. But I went on one of those sites where you can look up people's info from there email and username and I found out her boyfriend has been on dating site and I know they didn't meet on one because they met in school together. But I'm not sure how I should tell or even if I should tell her at all. I was going to do it anonomysly through a fake email, because she already knows I like her, so I didn't want to tell her straight out because I know how girls think and she will probably think I'm a nut job or a psycho to go that far to get dirt on him and I don't want her thinkin I did I to break them up so me and her could be together. So I need someones opinion on what I should do.
Also

She's 15
He's either 16-18 I don't know because he can drive and I'm not sure if he lied about his age on Facebook

This is a weird situation because if you tell her, she might respond differently than if someone else told her. I've been in a few situations where I've discovered things about friend's and close family member's boyfriends online. It's always a tough situation. You don't really know how her relationship is, just one side. You don't know if she already knows about this and has accepted it by allowing it to happen. Your situation is complicated in that she may wonder if you have ulterior motives in telling her (which you honestly do) and she may end up getting upset with the wrong person (you). I think the fake e-mail route is a good way to go because she does need to know and you don't want it to affect her relationship with you. Make sure you include hard evidence, screenshots, the link, etc. The problem with the fake e-mail strategy is that since it's so impersonal, when she reads it, it might not work. She may want to deny what's going on and not tell anybody. She may not want to believe the faceless paragraph on the screen or may not trust it because it was anonymous. If no one in her life convinces her that it's time to break up with this guy, she'll probably stay with him. It can't be you because then you'd have way too much involvement, which would come back to bite you in the end. She has already stayed with this guy after how she says he treats her so why wouldn't she just accept this too? What you can do to help with this is send an e-mail to one of her close female friends as well. It's likely that her friends don't like him either. The other problem with this strategy is that if she does break up with him and you do end up with her, you HAVE TO come clean about what you did. If you don't, you're no better than the guy she's with. Going behind her back and manipulating her life online isn't a particularly noble thing to do and is really rather cowardly. It's probably the right thing to do if it's what it takes for her to break up with this guy, but it isn't good and you know that. You have to consider the idea that if she disagrees with your methods, she may not be interested in you and you have to be okay with that because at least she's not with him. You risk losing her by getting involved at all. She will have every right to know that it was you so you will need to plan for how to tell her. Be ready to explain why and answer any of her questions. Set a date and make sure that you do it. If you know that you can't bring yourself to tell her, do not do this. Doing something that you can't be honest about would make it so that you don't deserve her, just like the guy she's already with. If you do send the e-mails and it doesn't work, you have to let it go. Do not get very deep into this. Once you've responded back and forth with like, one more e-mail, that's it. Set very clear limits for yourself. You don't want to become obsessed with this. If she chooses to stay with him knowing everything, that's her decision to make and all you can do at that point is continue to be a great friend. If the e-mail thing has started to scare you, another option would be to speak to a close friend of hers that you think you can trust. Explain to this friend what you found and explain that you don't want to be the one to tell her because of your interest. Tell the friend EVERYTHING. How you feel about her, that you were thinking about sending an e-mail instead, really, tell everything. The friend will sympathize with you. She may reveal to her where she got the information from, but she will probably paint you in a positive light. This is the more noble way and simpler way to go if you're brave enough to do it. Good luck!

[view]


Question

End of everything i want to die

So this all comes to this , let me tell you readers about me
I'm not gonna mention my name but i really need some help and hope that you guys can give me some :(
Its midnight here and its raining quite heavily , and here i am a lower middle class boy who is about to lose everything he had .
Well i am a university student , even though I am a middle class my parents worked so hard for me to get into the university i am not a scholar guy I'm just average at first year in first semester i had 3 ATKTs and because of that i had to give 9 subjects this semester
I worked hard i did my best there was a time when i didn't even slept well for 6-7 days and keep studying hard
Now exams are over and i need to pass in at least 4 subjects to get in second year and i know that I'm gonna fail cause how badly I've done in my exams
My results are on next month
Plus i hace a education loan from bank and they cant continue my loan if i fail
Worst of all guys I'll drop out of the college
And i couldn't stand the embarrassment of it i couldn't stand look on my parents wyes when they will find out i droped out :(
I know guys results are not declared yet but i know how i done in exams and I'm surely going to fail
And ill get a drop :( i just don't know what to do
I cant stand the shame
I can't sleep in night
My dad got 2 heart attacks already and he cant work for much long and i feel really terrible now i am crying at this very moment
I messed up everything life disent give another chance
MK

You're mistaken about your options. There are ways to continue with school if you fail. There are ways to continue to get loans if you fail. This is a very stressful time for you so it can be easy to lose control and feel yourself begin to spiral negatively downward. It was the right thing to do to ask for advice. My advice to you is this: Don't be a pessimist, be the type of person that finds a way. Talk to a financial or academic counselor at your university. Tell this person what your fears are and ask them what your options would be in the worst case scenario. There are options. There is still a lot of hope for you. It is certainly not the end of everything. You haven't even asked yet. Rather than an end, make this a beginning. Take a look at the link below for comfort. It's a list of very successful people who failed, but persevered. You can and will move past this and be successful in your life. You don't need to be given another chance. Search, find another chance, and take it. Good luck.

http://www.onlinecollege.org/2010/02/16/50-famously-successful-people-who-failed-at-first/
http://www.onlinecollege.org/2010/02/16/50-famously-successful-people-who-failed-at-first/

[view]


Im not sure how many calories i should consume everyday.
My BMR is 1589 and i go to the gym 4-5times a week. Im 16 and weigh 73kg right now but im trying to change that. i read somewhere that for leight loss you should consume around 1500 calories but then in another place it said something different and id appreciate it if someone could help me out :) thnx in advance

I like to use livestrong.com/myplate to track my caloric intake. It gives you a custom goal. Then you enter in what you eat as well as any exercise that you do each day. It keeps track of all of the numbers for you. It's a great tool and it helped me lose 12 pounds a few years ago! Then it helped me keep it off. Since you're 16, it would be a good idea to run all of this by your doctor first just to make sure you're being safe. Good luck! :)

[view]


Ok..I dated this guy for a couple of months but he was 6 yrs older than me..I'm 16..we were first just friends but then we began to "love" each other. I would go by him everyday but we never did anything really..then we almost did and I stopped him...he got a bit mad at me. He said he didnt want to date me now at 16 because he didn't want me to do things that were not right..we didnt talk for awhile...then he called but we are sort of awkward friends now...I still like him though and i told him but he said he dont want to destroy my life. Should I get back with him? If yes how?

No. He's right. An age difference of 6 years isn't a big deal when you're in your mid-20's or older, but at your age it's too much. Any guy that is 22 that would want to be with a 16 year old, no matter how mature she was to talk to or how much he liked her, has something wrong with him. It's natural for a 16 year old to fall in love with someone older, but it's just a crush and is NOT a good idea for a relationship. He's too far ahead of you in life for the relationship to be meaningful or balanced. Stop trying to pressure him into it and move on. We all have that older guy that we fell in love with when we were young. Let him be that and that only for you. If when you're 22 and both of you are single maybe it's worth a shot, but for now, you're not ready for him yet. You're probably going to disagree and you probably don't understand why, but just trust me on this. You don't want to push him into being with someone who is too young for him. Good luck.

[view]


So I've been on a diet for a while and it's kind of spiraling out of control. I use to intake about 1,500 calories a day and then work out and all of that but now I work out and eat only 500 calories a day. Is this bad? How many calories do I need a day? I've tried eating but I just can't make myself because I don't want to get fat. What can I do about this all? I'm a 14 year old female by the way. Thanks in advance!

Yes that's very bad! And I'm sure you know that it is. You don't get fat from eating, you survive from eating. It is VERY dangerous for an adult woman to eat less than 1200 calories a day and probably for you, since you're 14 and your brain and other parts of your body are still developing you need a lot more! I limit myself to about 1500 when I'm trying to lose weight, not when I'm trying to maintain my current weight. You should be consuming around 1800-2000 calories every day. It actually takes an EXTRA 3500 calories beyond that just to gain one pound. That's a lot. You really don't have much to worry about. If you are truly concerned about becoming overweight, a doctor will be able to give you the correct number of calories that you should be consuming so that you don't. I feel as if there are other issues going on here though. You've taken this to the very extreme which is not a good sign in terms of where your mind is at. Talking to someone who knows something about nutrition can help you come up with the right diet. Doing what you're doing could cause permanent damage to your body over something that is a temporarily exaggerated and irrational fear. The good thing is that you're not crazy. You really aren't. It's normal to worry about this sort of thing. What isn't normal is trying to figure it out yourself and going to the extreme as a reaction to how you're feeling. Just because you're growing doesn't mean you're getting fat. You're 14. I'm guessing you're not an expert in health and nutrition. Talk to someone that is if you really want to do this right. You could really mess yourself up if you don't. Things will get out of control for you very fast. You'll want to stop doing this because it's wrong, but the longer you do it for, the harder it's going to be and your whole life will get messed up. That's not what you want. Get help. The only thing that can happen if you talk to someone is exactly what you want - to not get fat. Don't let your brain keep telling you that the wrong choices will give you the right results. Good luck.

[view]


It so hard for me to talk about these questions to people in person, mainly because I'm worried everyone will think I'm crazy. I totally feel like I'm going completely nuts, but there's something I can't get my mind off of.

Does anyone here believe testimonies of people who claim to have been to Heaven or Hell? I didn't really in the past, but there are these two girls who claim to have been taken on by Jedus on tours of hell and came back to tell about it. They both say some of the same things, like that they saw Michael Jackson there and children who watched cartoons.

The thing is that these girls messages may actually come from satan, or they may be making their stories up for whatever reason. Regardless, they are causing people to have intense fear about their eternity. They're making salvation seem impossible.

Some of what they say seems extremely random. Like, "Oh, God doesn't like blondes, God doesn't like people who own Chihuahuas, God doesn't like people who drive Ford's." They don't actually say those things, but that's how bad it can seem. Like we're all unknowingly doing things that can get a person sent to Hell. Like no one can know that they're doing anything that will condemn them later. Like we're all doomed and God tries to make salvation as hard as possible.

When one girl was giving her testimony, I thought to myself that if some of what she was saying was true, it didn't seem as if God could be the loving, gracious, and just God that some believe that he is. I know better than to believe that though. I know better than to think that he is a cruel God who likes to see people go to Hell and who makes salvation practically impossible.

I feel like God states everything you are and aren't supposed to do in the Bible, but some of these people say that you can get sent to Hell for things that the Bible doesn't mention and things that you'd never think of.

They claim that dying your hair, painting your nails, wearing makeup, and using perfume will keep you from having any hope of getting to Heaven, but my grandmother did all of these things and, at the risk of sounding crazier than I already do, I know she's in Heaven because she gives us this sign that she is and that she's watching us. I reject that these things will sent you to Hell.

The last reason I don't believe them is because their stories seem to contradict the Bible. For example, they say that they were taken to Hell and brought back to warn people, but doesn't the Bible say that if someone doesn't already believe, they still won't even if somebody comes back from the dead to tell them? Also, one girl sounds very high and mighty and says that God made her responsible for saving people, but isn't Jesus the only one who can save you?

There are plenty of other inconsistencies, but the majority of people seem to believe them. It seems like most people don't believe Colton Burpo, Alex Malarkey, or people like that, but they wholeheartedly believe these people. They say, "I don't see why any real Christian would feel the need to question this." Even though the Bible TELLS us to test these things. It's like people don't want to hear nice stories that give you hope,they only want to hear terrifying ones that make you feel hopeless.

I guess my question is am I right not to believe any of this? And also how do you KNOW you're going to Heaven?

.

A lot of people have a lot to say about what God does and doesn't want, don't they? It's more complex than these being messages from either God or the devil. The world is a complicated place and there are very few things that are pure good or pure evil. People who claim to have been to heaven or hell may just believe that they have because they dreamt it. There are so many different denominations of Christianity, many with different beliefs. Any one of them could be right or wrong. Perhaps none of them are true...but aren't there good people in all of them? The whole point is that we don't know exactly how to get to heaven and are left to our own devices and our FAITH. The only thing that you can do as a Christian person who believes in God is to follow your conscience and what you believe. Live a good life. Do good. Help people. If in the end, when you face God for judgment, you can be proud of the life that you led, that's all that matters and all that means anything. Trying to hack the system and figure out exactly how to behave isn't possible and even if you could it's cheating. Live the best life you can and if you can be proud of the person you become, chances are, God will be too. :) It's hard not to stress over the unknowns of religion, death, and the afterlife. For some reason, people like to make it complicated, but it's not that complicated. According to the Bible, you need only believe in Jesus. Remember how just before He died, He told the criminal who was being put to death with Him that He'd see him in Heaven? Surely this guy lived a horrible life, but was welcomed simply because he believed. Don't let yourself become consumed by figuring out how to be perfect and trying to be perfect. God made you perfectly imperfect. It is impossible to live a life without sin, but that's the great thing about Jesus. Before he came along pretty much nobody got into heaven. Jesus made it so that all you have to do is believe in Him to get there. So take a deep breath, believe, and just try to be a good person. People who say that watching cartoons or straightening your hair is going to send you to hell are completely missing the point and focusing on weird stuff that doesn't even matter. God is much bigger than all of that. When you can get these worldly, insignificant worries out of you mind, there will be room for Him. Good luck!

[view]


So my husband and I have an age difference of 22 years, and he will turn 50 soon. I am a soldier and on the tail end of a deployment. This is the first time that we have been apart for longer than a week, and I was really scared at first. Not because I didn't think I could handle it, but because I didn't know what he would do. Early on in our relationship I now realize he was very controlling. Would go through my phone and emails, and interrogate all of my contacts with other men. He always says he needs to feel needed, but it always feels so forced. He quit caring about how he looked, acted, what he wore when I left. He has also gotten lazy and overweight. He gets angry with me because he doesn't think I prioritize him anymore. He refuses to make friends or join a support network while I am away and clings to me for everything. I was first attracted to him because of his strength and independence but now it seems that he is weak and clingy. When I was home on mid tour leave I cherished the moments I wasn't around him because he was suffocating. On top of all of this he is always negative. Always in crisis. Negativity is my huge pet peeve. I talked to him about it 3 times over 9 months then finally gave him a warning shot that it had damaged my ability to care for him bc I couldn't handle it anymore. I cringe to think about going home. Is there a way I can move through this or should I just start preparing myself for the dissolution?

A situation like this has a lot of layers and is much too complex for a person that doesn't know you to examine with a simple paragraph. It is often the things that are left unsaid that are the most important and you can only provide one side. If you truly want an answer and you want the right answer, you need to speak to a professional. Find a marriage counselor in your area. What I can say is that this is definitely not a healthy relationship. If you want to try to make things work, you will need to see a counselor anyway. Find someone that both of you can agree on. If he is not interested and refuses to see a counselor, the decision is clear. I'm so sorry that this is happening for you and I wish you the best of luck.

[view]


My boyfriend and I are 17, and we’ve been dating a little over 5 months. Before then, we were strangers. After about the first three months, we've argued almost everyday, sometimes more than once. He is very insecure, jealous, overdramatic, inconsiderate, and he is my exact opposite. Even his brother has told us that before. Our ways of thinking clash... a lot. Sometimes I feel like I'm being used. yada yada yada. We break up often, and a lot of times I don't mean it, but he'll pressure me into doing it by telling me to, or constantly asking if we're done until I break and tell him yes. I used to not mean it, but lately I've wanted it to do it for good. I've seen a completely different side of him, and it isn't good. I just can't imagine marrying him while our relationship is like it is. We are too different, and we think different. How will that work if we have kids? Well, every time I break up with him, he'll start crying and apologizing, saying he wants to kill himself (one time he actually cut his wrist in front of me) So, I give him, because he seems like he will really change, until the next day we're fighting again. I do love him, and I can't imagine not having him in my life, but I can hardly take it anymore. What can I do? The future scares me.

Keeping you in the relationship by threatening to hurt himself is either abusive (if he actually would never really do anything) or he needs serious help. Either way, it has absolutely NOTHING to do with you. It's something that he has within himself. Do not spend another day in this unhealthy relationship. As bad as it is for you, it's just as bad for him to be learning that he can behave this way in a relationship in order to get what he wants. What you need to do is tell him that you're breaking up for good and completely stop talking to him. Block him from social media, texting, everything. The reason why this is important is because he has the ability to talk you out of your decisions by acting pathetic. You cannot allow him to do this again. Just in case he is serious about suicide, the right thing to do would be to tell a school counselor about the entire situation before you break up with him. That way, people will be making sure that he is okay and he will receive counseling if he needs it. His irrational thoughts and ideas are not your responsibility. You are not equipped to reason with someone that has these personality issues so stop trying because while it may seem like you're being nice and helping, you could be making things much worse. So, my advice to you is to tell someone about what has been happening, break up with him for good, and stop all communication with him. You don't want to be with him in the future because besides all of this you say that you're really not that compatible. It's not good that you've continued to stay with him for 5 months, but the real crime would be staying with him for another day. It's time. Do it before you chicken out and continue to help mold him into an unbalanced person. It's not just the best thing for you to get out of this, but it's the best thing for him too. Good luck!

[view]


Hi! So just this morning I dropped my contact on the floor of my bathroom and I picked it up and rubbed it with solution and put it in my eye. Could this give me an eye infection? What should I do if I drop my contact lens again? Thank you guys!

You did the right thing. As long as you rinse it off, you have nothing to worry about. I've had contact lenses for 15 years and I drop them all the time. I've never gotten an infection and sometimes I don't even rinse them off.

[view]


Is Diamond puppy food THAT much better than the rest? Is it really all natural?

Every brand will try to make you believe that theirs is better than the others and that theirs the one that you absolutely need to use. Whatever makes you feel good and what makes your dog feel good is the right food. Different dogs can react differently to different kinds of food. I went along with what my breeder feeds her dogs. She had years of experience and a good track record. Her dogs lived a few years longer than the breed is supposed to. That could be for other reasons, could be a lie, or might only work for that particular line or breed, but I felt good about what she recommended and did my own research too. This website has a ton of information. http://www.dogfoodadvisor.com/best-dog-foods/best-puppy-foods/ Really though, most dog foods are the same. There are tiers of quality, so if you want the best, you actually have a lot of choices. Don't forget to match the food to the breed, or at least the size of the dog if you're not sure about the breed. I'd say that if the one you're using is working well and is appropriate for your dog, there's no need to switch. We concentrate so much on getting the very best because we love our little critters so much, but it's honestly a waste of energy. Good luck!

[view]


Basically, I had these 3friends in 8th grade and I was on a trip. My day was going really horrible. And I saw one of my "friends " was making fun of one of my favorite bands. So, I got really mad because she knew what they meant to me. They had helped me to try to stop cutting and to try to better myself. I was going through such a rough patch at that point of my life. I had no dad growing up and it was being constanly brought up. So, I started getting angry at my friend for saying all that bad stuff about the band. I told her off really bad. I told her "well your dad isn't any better he cheated on your mom. So he must not be content with you. With she replied by saying something among the lines "well at least he didn't leave me. You're pathetic " and so forth. Then, she made fun of my sexuality and about my cutting. That's when I completely snapped becausr she knew I was getting a lot about that at home with family(sexuality ). So I don't know what even caused me to say this but, I said "you're so pathetic maybe if you would be a better daughter your dad wouldn't have cheated on your mom to have other kids" . Then a couple of our friends heard the argument and started siding with her. And we're like attacking me verbally. Saying all this "well don't go home and try to kill yourself you lesbian bitch." to wich i replied "She should be the one that kills herself she's stupid and irrelevant. She is just as bad as me . I am a bitch but so is she . She always brought the bad things in my life. I had enouhht"And I got so angry and this fight carried on for about another hour or so. I just kept at it with them. And it turns out they might be going to a friend's party in 2weeks. I haven't seen them in about 10months. I'm scared about what's going to happen when I do see them again at the party.

You don't want this to turn into another pointless altercation. Showing up in the same place as them could do just that. It's clear that you didn't mean what you said and that you reacted that way out of stress over your own life. You were pushed, couldn't take it, and ended up in an argument over something that you didn't even believe in. The best thing to do is to test the waters. Send a message to the girl that you got in the fight with explaining what happened and apologizing. Let her know that you were wrong, you're sorry, you want to try to work things out, and that you miss her friendship. If she's a friend worth having, she'll respond positively and over time, all will be forgiven on both sides. Maybe she feels just as bad as you do about what she did. Be the one to break the ice. If she responds negatively, DO NOT respond back no matter what. It's not worth it and will make things worse. Think about it. If you send her this nice message and she's mean back, later on, she may look at what she did and feel bad about it to the point where she messages you back and apologizes. You don't want to get in an angry messaging war. It will get you nowhere. Until both people are ready to make amends, nothing is going to get accomplished and trying to force it can set you back even farther. Try to talk to her BEFORE the party. If things go well, go to the party. If they don't go well, it's probably best to tell the host that you can't make it. It's fair to her and it's not the right thing to do to attend a party knowing that there could be drama. Just stand in your own truth and know that as a human, you did make a mistake, but no matter what happens, you can feel good in knowing that you did the right thing in the end. This girl has her own issues to deal with and just because you're ready to make amends, doesn't mean that she is. Her not being ready has nothing to do with you. Maybe she is though, so it's worth a quick, heartfelt, honest try. Good luck!

[view]




eXTReMe Tracker