about

I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)

Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)

advice

High school girl, sophomore and I weigh 253lbs. I'm told all the time that I look far older than I am and that my weight balances out pretty well and that I don't look as big as I actually am. Gym class this last year was torture for me because most of the guys were making fun of me the whole period for being fat. I've been made fun of since kindergarten. No one's really ever liked me. I've been in a new school for two years now and no one here likes me too much. Most guys avoid talking to me at all costs. So I wanna hear it from the guys, does anyone even like big chicks??? In the last three years, I've gone from being outgoing and bubbly to being too afraid to walk to the other end of the cafeteria just to dump my freaking tray because I'm paranoid and feel like everyone is watching me. Just wondering. Thanks in advance!

Yes they do. I know a couple who is your age. The girl is big, but it means nothing to them, to their friends, or to most other people. They are so happy and even though they're young, they're probably my favorite couple ever. The guy is really smart, really sweet, and really good to her. Being your size does make things difficult because there are guys out there who are not okay with it, but don't think of yourself as being much different from anybody else. There are guys out there that don't like small boobs, that don't like brown eyes, that don't like girls who don't wear makeup, that don't like athletic girls, that don't like African American girls...there's something about everyone that they're worried about. It's easy to think that everyone's watching and judging you, but few really are. It may be hard to believe, but many girls your age are going through the exact same thing as you are, even (and perhaps especially) the ones who are thin and dating all the time. Stay confident and positive. You seem like a great person that your future husband is going to be very happy to have. Why waste your time trying to date guys that aren't good enough for you? You'll find someone with an amazing heart that will love everything about you.

The poem below sums up my experience with high school. Nobody wanted to date me and the only guys that seemed interested were really creepy. I thought I was doomed, but then I found someone in college. Some people get lucky early on and some don't. The guys around you will mature eventually and like I said, you could end up with a better one with a better heart if you wait.

“Girls are like apples...the best ones are at the top of the trees. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples that are on the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think there is something wrong with them, when, in reality, they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.”

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So recently me and my mom were talking, and the subject of me not being honest to her came up. now my mom is very big about lying and hates it and i know that so i dont lie to her very often. she think that im lying to her about something but i have no idea what. i kept asking her what i did wrong and she kept telling me to go to bed ( since it was like 11 o'clock) and talk to her once i tell her the truth but i have no idea what i did wrong. i also feel like shes just trying to get me to confess about a lie. whats a tip so that i can get out of this mess?

Oh gosh, my mom was like this. She somehow always knew exactly what was going on in my life. She'd accuse me of something and it would almost always be true. I hated her for her scary level of psychic perception. There were a few times, though, when she was wrong and it was very frustrating. She was convinced that I was having all kinds of wild sex with my boyfriend, but we'd agreed to wait until we got married. She would not believe me and was very concerned that I was going to get pregnant. Dealing with her in this circumstance was awful.

There were other times when she would hear something from someone else and want me to fess up about it. Sometimes it wasn't even anything that bad and I couldn't think of anything that I'd done even remotely wrong. It sounds like this is what's happening with you. She probably heard something from someone. It could be completely true, possibly exaggerated, or just plain wrong. I can say that I totally feel your pain on this one.

The only thing that you can really do is talk to her about it. But you have to be 1 million percent calm, relaxed, and logical. This can be so difficult under the circumstances, but it's the only thing that works. Come up with exactly what you're going to say to her and how you will respond to what she might say. Will yourself with all of your energy to not get frustrated, mad, or anything else. If you can do this, she should be willing to open up to you about whatever it is that's bugging her. I wish you tons of willpower and luck and I hope that it's just something silly.

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I had sex with someone I've been seeing. For the first time, I had anal sex. I was not expecting that to happen. If I knew it was coming, I would have done an enema ahead of time. He still treated me well and acted as if everything was fine afterward. But now, he's not talking to me as much. I know that if you do anal, it's going to smell like poop. Now I'm just hoping he didn't try smelling his hand or whatever.

So, do guys get turned off if their penis smells like bad after having anal sex? Or are would they be satisfied that they even had sex, etc?

You know what, if he has a problem with it, he can go and find someone who's ass doesn't stink. And good luck to him! There is a very small chance that this is what his problem is though. It doesn't smell that bad, probably not even much at all, and he's the one that wanted to do it. If a guy is turned off by anal for whatever reason, he's going to choose not to do it. It's not like your butt and someone else's are much different in terms of smell. His problem would be with anal in general and not with his particular experience with you. Is this the first sexual experience you've had with him? It's possible that he's feeling weird about that. It's possible that this was the first time he tried anal and he just didn't like it. You really never know. Maybe something else is going on in his life coincidentally. Whatever it is, there's only a very small chance that it has anything to do with you. Even if it is about you, that's his problem, not yours, and he's not a good person for it. Don't worry about this at all. Cast it away from your mind entirely. If it's really bothering you, it might be a good idea to identify his behavior (hey, you're not talking to me as much all of a sudden) and ask him what's going on. Don't bring up what it could or couldn't be about. Let him explain if he wants to. It seems like the two of you are not strong in the communication department yet. Work on that and this should sort itself right out. Never feel ashamed about your natural body and what it does. You can't fight biology and if someone wants to take themselves so seriously that they expect you to, ditch them immediately. Good luck!

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So...my 8th grade boyfriend who I haven't spoken to in three years randomly messaged me on Facebook last night. He wasn't even on my friends list. He just popped up in my messages. He wants to hang out on Sunday and said that he wish we never broke up and wants to start over again. Since I've never had a true, genuine relationship before, I don't know what to do. I really like him all over again. What should we do starting Sunday?

I know this may be hard, but try not to get too excited too fast. People can really change in 3 years. Because you've already dated him, you already like him, are already comfortable with him, and already trust him. This is great, but it could be dangerous. If you didn't date him for more than a few months, you may not have gotten to know him too well either. Even if you talked for hours every day, it can take awhile to truly get to know what someone is like and how they'll treat you in a relationship over time. Try to figure out his intentions. Why does he want to see you all of a sudden? Did he just break up with someone? Does he just want to mess around? Has he been thinking about you and miss you? Straight up asking him might not get you the whole truth. His intentions could be good and unselfish, but be mindful that they might not be. My intent is not to discourage you. This is something to be happy about and I'd definitely see where things go with him. Just remember to be careful not to jump in too fast. Good luck, I hope it works out for you!! :)

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I don't really think that my issue qualifies as an eating disorder which is why I feel like I can get advice from here, before immediately rushing to the doctor's office. Anyway, I've been stuck in this horrible cycle of starving my self and then binging, starving myself and then binging, over and over and over. It goes like this: I'll starve myself starting whenever I wake up and then around four o'clock I'll allow myself plain toast and water or an apple or something small like that. But then dinner time will come and I'll have to sit and eat with the family. The problem is when u start eating, I can't stop. For example, the other night my mom made mashed potatoes, meatloaf, gravy, corn, and carrots. I don't eat meatloaf but I went CRAZY with everything else. I had 2 large helpings of potatoes, a whole bunch of corn, and then later in the night I had a bunch of snacks at 3:00 am. Sometimes I won't binge at the end of the day though, I'll just starve all day or binge all day. I'm trying to lose weight (which my doctor said I need to do to be healthy) but this isn't the healthy way to do it. I can't seem fibre am this cycle though, how can I do it????

It seems as if your plan for losing weight is a terrible one and you've gotten stuck in this weird cycle. What's happening is that when you deny yourself of food for the beginning of the day, you're getting really hungry and you end up eating more later on. This is a terrible plan that will never work. You say "I'll starve myself...then...allow myself plain toast and water or an apple or something" You are going down a very dangerous path. Look at the vocabulary you're using. You "allow" yourself food. Whether or not you can be classified into one of the officially recognized eating disorder categories, you are without a doubt struggling with eating disorder thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Since it seems as if this is something that's just begun, what's going on with you may still be under your control. What you need to do is realize the danger you're in and take control of it now. Consult a doctor or nutritionist. Tell the doctor exactly what you're doing, thinking, and why. Ask the doctor to give you a personalized plan for keeping this from turning into a full-fledged eating disorder while still working to get to a healthy weight. You are not an expert on nutrition, weight loss, or eating disorders and so you should not be trying to come up with your own plan on how to be healthy. You have no idea what you're doing and could cause more harm than good. Talk to someone who is an expert. As soon as you can. They should be able to give you ideas on what and how much you should be eating at each meal. Tell your parents that what the doctor said to you earlier about needing to lose weight has you worried and it's affecting you in such a way that you are afraid that you may be at risk of developing an eating disorder. You have to be honest with everyone. Dancing around the subject now will only make it harder to talk about later when things are worse. Good luck.

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Here's a picture of me: http://i.imgur.com/e2uF7w6.jpg

I have a stupid haircut and i don't look good.

I have no idea what hairstyle would look good for me, but could someone tell me what hairstyle would look best with my face? Every time I've asked this, people have just made fun for how I look; I know I'm ugly, but I just want legitimate advice as to what would look good for me.

You're not ugly at all, quite the opposite. You're right about the haircut though, it's a little stupid :). Your current haircut makes your forehead stand out. Sticking your hair up like it is or in some other way will likely have the same effect. Try something like this: http://www.besthairstyles2013.com/haircuts-for-boys.html/haircuts-for-boys-5. I think that would look great on you. Good luck!

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ok so I realized you gave me advice before..http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=640493
And I would like to say thank you so much for that because your right it has been a long relationship and I do some what feel what your telling me on your advice. I just don't know what to do.. One side of me really likes him but the other really doesn't and his flaws stand out a lot more than his good because I barley see him make his good stand out but deep inside I feel like I have high standards over how perfect I want him to be or act and I am aware he doesn't have to be perfect, maybe I just can't learn to love his flaws like he has told me he's done with me. I can give you examples like going to the bathrooms at wrong times and leaving me there alone and recently it happened at his family's gathering and it made me feel less comfortable around his family. He has no way if figuring out his future he expect people to, there's more but it be too much. To summarize it all he zones out throughout many things, He says all I notice is his flaws not the good in him but I don't know why I wish it wasn't that way I wish I loved him as much as I did in the beginning which I know he wishes that to but he still loves me as much as he did in the beginning

You can keep on asking the same question over and over every few months for the rest of your life, or you can end your relationship with him and see what the rest of the world has to offer. Trust me, you can be much happier than you are right now. What you describe isn't a good relationship. He's a good guy, but he's just not right for you. Nobody's perfect and no relationship is perfect, but it can be perfect for you. This relationship isn't perfect for you. Set out to find one that is. The things that aren't perfect about him bother you. You can find someone whose imperfections are less bothersome to you. It's hard to just end a long relationship, especially when he's a good guy, but it's what you need to do. It will get worse over time. I have a feeling that no matter what I say you're going to continue to stay with him and continue coming on this site asking the same tired questions for years to come. Don't be that loser. Eventually, it will end and you'll have wasted years and years of your life on something that you knew right from the start that it wasn't quite right. Do what you've been doing or take our advice now. There's no use in asking another question about this relationship on this website if you're never going to take the advice you're asking for. End it today or for God sakes quit asking about what to do. There's a saying: "poop or get off the pot". If you're not going to break up with him quit whining about the same issues. If you can't move past these things that continue coming up, it needs to be over. You need to just do it or don't and stand true with your decision rather than continuing to complain about the same problems. Decide for good. If you can't let go of these issues immediately, the decision is made. It's been years and nothing has changed. Good luck.

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Hi 15/F
(*̩ love pets)
*̩ got 2 puppies when *̩ was around 9. When *̩ was 10 one of them past away and it was very sad. *̩ was so afraid the onther one would pass away *̩ was overprotective and she became "̮м̣̣̣̥γ̥"̮ everything we would so everything together. When "̮м̣̣̣̥γ̥"̮ grandad died whe moved to a farm with "̮м̣̣̣̥γ̥"̮ granmom when *̩ was about 13. 5 months ago a snake bit he and she died. We burried her and now "̮м̣̣̣̥γ̥"̮ mom wants to move. *̩ still cry everynight over her and *̩ don't know what to do. *̩ will never have a dog like her. And mym mom don't want me to get another one. She would also not let me reburry her* plZ help?

The way that you wrote your question with the stars and quotes is very confusing, just to let you know. Substitute real words in there for the names next time and it will be easier to read!

It's best that you do not dig up your pets do rebury them. Let them rest peacefully. It's normal to feel as sad as you do over losing two dogs. Not only are you sad over the loss of a companion, but there's a space in your life that's empty that can only be filled by a pet or that will close in time.

Don't give up on trying to get your mom to get you another dog. Tell her how sad you still are even though some time has passed. Try to figure out why she doesn't want to get you another one. Would it be harder to have a pet in the lace that she wants to move to? Did she not like the dog that you had? Was it poorly trained? Does she think it would cost too much? Offer to help pay if you can. I think that your mom will understand if you are honest with her. Good luck!

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I'm trying to help a family member pay off tickets. Can they do community service & set up a payment plan? I'll be paying. We live in Texas if that helps.

The person who got the tickets can make a request for a payment plan. Just contact whomever the money is supposed to go to and remember that the request has to be approved. It should be rather easy, actually. Just start calling.

Alongside of this, I do want to point out that I do believe that what you're doing for this person is wrong. If this person was sentenced to 30 days in jail, you wouldn't be serving their time for them would you? By paying their fines, you're essentially doing the same thing. The fines are their punishment. What if this person continues getting tickets? I mean, why wouldn't they? Everything worked out so there's no reason to make a major change. They should be the one figuring this out, not you. Since you're the one asking about payment plans, it doesn't seem as if you can afford to pay for this person's mistakes either, so why are you planning to?

I got a speeding ticket a few years ago and really couldn't afford it. I scraped the money up somehow, but that experience really changed my life. I used to speed. Not all the time and I didn't always go all that fast, but I was normally going about 10 mph over the speed limit. It was stupid, juvenile, and dangerous, but it was fun. I had a fast little car and it became a habit. After having to pay this ticket, I no longer speed. I stopped cold turkey. I'd gotten tickets before, but none that cost me this much money and I think my parents paid for a few.

Not having the money to pay for something that you consciously did is a GOOD thing. This type of pain has the chance to bring about a change in your behavior. You may feel like you're being nice or that this person really has no other options, but really they do and you're hurting them more than helping them. You wouldn't buy drugs for someone who was addicted, but would you? By paying for someone's tickets, you're aiding a criminal in getting away with their crimes. If you really want to help, don't do it for free. Write a contract with this person where they promise to pay you back within 3 years or something. Make a payment plan with them even if it's only like, $5 a week. If they don't pay you, go after them! If you're having to find all this money for something they did, they should be able to pay you back in several years. Make this person work for you in order to cut down on the price. What can they give you? Can they work on your house? Clean for you once a week? Think of something.

You gave very little information about yourself, but if this person is a boyfriend, what are you doing? Don't bring your relationship to this place. You'll never get out of it and you'll be paying for his mistakes over and over again because you did it this time.

I know you probably weren't expecting such a long answer containing a bunch of rather unsolicited advice, but I do want you to understand what you're planning on doing, what it means, and what it could create in the future. Good luck.

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I'm a 21 year old female and have just recently started to develop some insecurities about my breast size. I'm 5'2" and 95 pounds, and wear a 32A size bra. I am going to be sleeping with a recent love interest for the first time in a few days, and for some reason I am kind of nervous for him to see my boobs because they are so small. I know some people think small boobs are sexy but they're not just small, they're basically nonexistent.

What's weird is that I've never been very insecure about this before. I've been sexually active since I was 16 and have always embraced having small boobs. And this guy is totally cool and never puts me down about my looks or anything so idk why it's all of a sudden an issue for me. How I stop being so insecure about this?

You'll go through phases of insecurity and phases of confidence for awhile. I did. They could be triggered by most anything. It seems as though you're aware of the fact that what you're thinking/feeling is irrational and a little silly. That's a great sign. Unless you wear huge padded bras all the time and this guy is going to be surprised, you shouldn't have a care in the world about this. Unlike penis size, it's not a total surprise. You can look at a girl and it's a bit easier to tell. Maybe your guy is going through some insecurities of his own! Once you have your experience with him, you may feel a lot better. The excitement and anticipation of being with a new person is probably being filtered into insecurity about your boobs. Brains are funny things sometimes. As long as this isn't going to affect your behavior or decisions, continue to label it as ridiculous and put it to the back of your mind. Good luck!

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I read a really amazing book a few months back but I can't remember the author. It was a young adult/teen fiction book. I'll describe the plot and maybe someone will recognize it: it's about a gay teen boy who has to pretend to date a popular girl so that the girl can go out with a boy that her father doesn't approve of (I don't remember any names I'm sorry). The gay main character is really overweight with hair that he calls a "jewfro". He ends up falling in love with his best friend Spencer.

Is this it?

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11325338-my-awesome-awful-popularity-plan

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I'm 15 and I haven't masturbated vaginally before. Well, I did with my finger, and it was pretty rough. I am a virgin and haven't had sexual experience of any kind with anyone. So after, I noticed a bit of blood on my finger, so I checked it out and I was bleeding very very lightly, but it terrified me!! Is something wrong?

As long as it's not much and it stops soon, there's no need to worry. Totally normal. Be more careful next time!

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My best friend used to do everything together. I loved hanging out with her. When a girl on her basketball team moved into the neighborhood, whenever I came over, she'd greet me with," don't bother. I'm inviting my NEW bestie over." after a while, i stopped going over. After a while, she apologized. Then she gave me the book we wrote together. She said, "write a new entry, then give it back. Then I'll write one.". But when I tried to give it back, she smirked and told me it was mine now. She had passed off her junk onto me. It has been half a year now, but I can't get over it. I've thought about burning the book. Can someone please give me some advice, because even though she is a jerk, I still cry myself to sleep at night thinking about it. Thanks, ~M&M

Wow, that's awful! I'd cry myself to sleep every night if I were in your position too. I've had good friends leave me for seemingly no reason over the years and it is very painful. I cannot imagine if it had been someone who was that close to me. The thing is, there's not much that you can or should do. The more you try to be friends with her, the more she will use your kindness against you and the worse you will feel. The more pathetic you look, the further it will drive the two of you apart. She might be feeding off of the idea that you are so "pathetic" and "obsessed" with her. You're DEFINITELY not, but who knows what she's thinking.

You'll find that these sorts of things will happen throughout your life. You never get used to it, but you will come to accept it. Don't think it has anything to do with you. The actions of other people come from within them. If someone is mean to you, it doesn't mean that it's in reaction to who you are. It's a result of who they are. Trust me, this will catch up to her. At some point, even if it's years from now, she will think back to how she treated you and feel really, really bad about it.

You may not like what I'm about to say, but anything else is just not the truth. The only thing that can make things better for you in this situation is time. There is not a solution for you. Whether you like it or not, that's the reality. The only thing you can do is stay in touch with her. Since she will eventually feel bad about what she did and miss the friendship that you had, you want to keep a very small line of communication open. If you don't, when she does start to feel bad, she won't reach out to you.

Staying in touch doesn't mean trying to talk to her a lot. In a few weeks, send her a message online that does nothing else but remind her that you're still there. Send her a link to a website or a page that you think she'd like. If something happens to her or someone in her family, send a message of support. "I heard about what's going on with your brother and I'm praying for him. Let me know if there's anything I can do." "I heard Stephanie saying some really nasty stuff about you and I felt like the right thing to do would be to tell you about it." "Good luck on finals!" Don't send more than one message a month. It's really important that you spread this out. As time goes on or if she gets annoyed, send the messages less and less. Send one every 2 or 3 months. Remember that the only reason for doing this is to give her the opportunity to talk to you if she wants to without having to be the one to reach out. Do not let this become something that you do for yourself. It's for her. Be very guarded if she does respond and remember back to what she did with the book. After a year or so, your messages can be a little more personal. "I was at the park yesterday and it reminded me of the time we at a lot of candy and acted like complete goofballs. Good times!" Don't mention anything about what she did to you or the hurt she caused you unless it seems like she's genuinely trying to apologize. Even then, be guarded.

There's nothing you can do except wait for her to reach out to you. It sucks because you have no control over what she does and there's nothing that you can do to try to make the situation better now, but this is really the only thing that could work. Most anything that you do now could result in ripping the two of you apart forever. You have to leave it up to her because as I said before, anything that you do will become a new joke to her right now and make the situation worse.

Don't burn the book. Put it in a place where you won't look at it and try to forget that it's there. In 10 years when you find it, you will be glad that you kept it. I wish you the very best of luck and stay strong. As awful as you feel right now, the feelings will subside over time and you'll be alright. Just remember that it's okay and totally normal to be emotional and be hurt by this. You may think that you're alone in your sorrow, but you're not the first or the last to go through this type of loss. You will recover and the world will be better once you do.

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I know even if I'm not a good singer, if I've got a good body and loaded pockets they'll just autotune me and I'm set, but I wanna get in because of my talent and hard work. More like Madonna, she started with $35 dollars, not miley cyrus who got on because of her dad. I can hit notes and control my volume, and I sound good singing to myself, but when I record myself and listen to it I sound like total crap. And my parents can't afford vocal lessons, so what should I do?

The easiest way to get an answer to the question of whether you are a good singer and possibly boost your career is to try out for all of those reality singing competitions. American Idol, The Voice, etc. You may scoff at that and not want to go that route, but it's really the best way to figure out if you're any good or not as long as you can handle the criticism should you receive it. It's the best way to get noticed and make a career out of singing when you never would have been able to otherwise. If you were to get voice lessons, do you really think that your instructor would be honest with you about your talent? If you weren't good enough and your instructor told you that, they'd be out of a job. If you're totally against reality TV, go the YouTube route. Above all else, have a backup plan if this doesn't work out. Good luck!

http://www.wikihow.com/Become-a-Famous-Singer

http://wwa1.com/5-tips-for-singing-cover-songs-on-youtube-to-get-famous/

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19/f
My uni female housemate has invited me and our other housemate to her birthday party. The issue is its over 180 miles away (3hrs by train).
The party is spread over 2 nights and basically shes said the other 2 females in the uni flat are allowed to sleep over-but not me as theres just not enough room.
Tbh I don't want to pay my rail fare and hotel accommodation for two nights when the others arn't-plys I'm not as close to her anyway and my parents won't aklow me to travel/stay alone.

Theres no one I can stay with. I don't want to let my flatmate down on her birthday but think if I do the other 3 girls will become closer and segregate me as a result. The others are all turning 21 soon and I already feel left out due to my youngness.
However going would cause alot of stress for my mum who simply won't allow me to go-fearing for my safety.

What should I do?

You say you don't want to let your flatmate down, but what is she doing for you? She is asking too much of you. You're worried that the other girls will become closer and segregate you...haven't they already? They've put you in a very terrible position. How is there not enough room? If she can afford a 2 night party and isn't cognizant of the cost for you in having to travel and book a hotel, she can certainly afford an air mattress or some sort of sleeping pad to put you on. I would be very angry at them if I were you, but I do have some ideas to help make it work. Since they are your housemates, even if they're not treating you well, it's a good idea to stay friendly with them. Tell the host of the party about your issues. Tell her that it would be too much money for you to come and not have a place to stay, but that you really want to. Tell her that your parents are worried and even though they don't control you, you don't want to do that to them. Ask her if there's any way you could stay at the house. What if you brought a mattress pad? Would it be possible for you to go to one night of the party rather than two? Two nights of partying does seem a bit overboard. In those sorts of situations, it's much too easy for drama to occur especially if there's going to be a lot of alcohol. If your housemates are good people and they care about you, they will find a way to make it work. If not, don't go. She is really asking way too much of you and there's no way she doesn't know that. There's no point in throwing down that much money to go to something that they don't want you at. Find out how willing they are to work with you and make your decision from there. If you decide not to go, don't blame yourself. They have set up impossible circumstances for you and anything that results from you not attending is on them, not you. Good luck.

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I'm 19, he's 22 and also my superior at work. I work in a grocery store, I'm a cashier, he's 1 of 10 supervisors of the front end of the store, just one step up from me so he isn't a manager or anything huge.

Next, I explained that because I do believe that he may like me. I think he's cute and would have no qualms against this. I just want to explain some things to see if you feel the same. I am returning back to school soon so I will be going on leave of absence from work so, technically, he and I could work.

I believe he may like me because:
-he greets me at work with "well, if it isn't my favorite cashier"
-one day, I got in trouble because my shirt wasn't blue enough (I know) and I had to go home and change on my lunch break.. I came back from changing and he asked me if I did change because he noticed I wasn't wearing the same shirt.. so I told him the other supervisor on at the time yelled at me, he told me not to worry about her and that what I do is perfectly fine
-the money box is behind register 11 so he has to go to that register a lot and I find that when I come into work, he usually puts me on 11 or the next over, 12 or on either self check outs because when he puts me there, he always stays and talks because I don't have much to do on self checkouts
-if he's the supervisor that has to stay nights, he has to do the store's money bags which means he has to walk around the entire store to empty the drawers into the money bags to put in the vaults and he has to take someone with him and he usually asks me to go around the store with him
-he also knows how bored I get when I'm on register so he sometimes finds other jobs for me to do such as organization within the aisles or moderating price tags
-lastly, we always just talk, when I don't have a customer no matter what lane I'm in, he'll walk over to me and talk to me about whatever, sometimes work related.. sometimes not

However, we don't have each others numbers and we never hang out outside of work.

Please don't say that I don't need to know because he's my superior at work and that's wrong, because I know that. Just tell me what you think.

Thank you

Interesting. Nothing stands out to me as being a really good sign. It could be that he just gets along with you and enjoys your company in a friendship sense. He may not like you, like you. It could also be that because this is a work situation, he's being very professional and doing a good job of trying not to show that he's into you. In order to figure this out without being direct (because being direct could be a bad idea here), you'd have to get him in a non-work environment. I'm not saying you should ask him on a date or anything (because you shouldn't), but try to think if there's a way for you to hang out with him outside of work that wouldn't seem too much like a date. Perhaps schedule an outing with a few friends from work where it would be possible for you to be alone in public with him. Like going to a theme park or going on a hike, something along those lines where you could have sort of "private" conversation with him in a public setting. I'm not sure if this would be easier to do once you've started your leave, but that's an option too. If none of this works, are you friends on facebook? Once you've been on leave for a week or two, you could send him a message saying that you didn't realize how much you liked talking to him and that you miss him. Something like that is innocent enough, but also opens things up a bit to where he might take the bait. Don't worry, there's honestly nothing wrong with being romantically involved with someone you work under as long as it's for the right reasons. You just have to make sure it isn't against company policy and you're careful about it because some people will have negative opinions. It's not wrong though! Back to your question, it's a tough one. It's really hard to tell what he's thinking. Hopefully you can get him to drop a clearer hint or bring yourself to drop a hint and see how he reacts. Good luck to you!

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Can you get pregnant from giving a man a blow-job?

No, but you can get an STD. You also want to be careful if you get anything on your hands, not to touch your vaginal area afterwards. It's best to use a condom even for this.

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Yesterday, I was accused for shoplifting. I was handcuffed, cussed at, and thrown against a wall causing bruising to my legs. They searched my bag against my permission. As I was “escorted” through the store I had a severe panic attack and tried to sit down because I couldn’t breathe they pulled me up and dragged me all the way to the back of the store while cussing at me and calling me rude names. Yes, admit, I stole a snickers bar, and I have a court date. If I mention these things could it get me out of legal trouble due to having my rights violated? Were my rights even violated?

Probably, but whether or not the legal system will work out in your favor is a different story. Talk to a lawyer. Someone I know got arrested for drug possession, but the police had no right to search his vehicle. What I believe happened was, he went to court for the drug charge and was supposed to ask for a "stay of continuance" (I think) awaiting the outcome of his trial against the officers, which the lawyer helped him set up. If he won that, when he went back to face the drug charge at a later date, it would be dropped because it would have been proven that the police abused their authority and should never have had the right to search his vehicle, therefore would never have found the drugs, and he would never have been charged. The police department, fearing the negative publicity and knowing that they did something wrong, would likely have settled out of court and the drug charge would have been dropped. What really happened was the person either got nervous or just felt guilty and admitted guilt at the original trial for the drug charge and that was that. If what you describe is accurate, what happened to you is terrible. Yeah you stole the candy, but you were horribly mistreated based upon the level of your crime. You may be able to get out of the shoplifting charge if you speak to a lawyer, but hopefully this entire ordeal will make it so that you never shoplift again. Was it really worth the 89 cents? It never is. Take pictures of all of your injuries immediately, find witnesses, and see if you can get a copy of the security footage from the store. It may be worth going to a doctor to get documentation that you did have a panic attack and official documentation of your injuries. Definitely talk to a lawyer because you've got a good case. Good luck.

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There are times when he seems very interested and then times when he doesn't.I have his phone number, and we have texted, but his texts always seemed cold.

I am a shy person and I do not want to make the first move.I do like him and am interested, but I'm not gonna go up to him and say "By the way, I like you" :/ That would be odd.

No worries, I figured it out :)

I went with clueless because your main question was along the lines of "does he like me" Based upon the information that you originally provided, OF COURSE HE DOES! With the additional information that you've given to me, you've painted a clearer picture. In your original question, you didn't mention that he sometimes seemed cold. Remember this quote: "We only make a dupe of the friend whose advice we ask, for we never tell him all; and it is usually what we have left unsaid that decides our conduct." You painted the picture that you wanted us to see and the details that you thought were important rather than the whole picture. If your perspective of the situation and the things that you were focusing on were enough, you'd have this problem all figured out on your own.

I'd say that rather than clueless, it's more like you're being very aloof with him. Aloof means that when he does something, you respond in a very reserved way and aren't acting interested. You may think that you are, but to him, it's likely that it's very difficult to tell if you are interested by how you are reacting to his hints. You're worried about making the "first" move, when he's made quite a few already. Because of how you may be coming off as a bit aloof, you're going to have to be somewhat direct, or start hinting back. Don't worry, there are ways to be somewhat direct without coming out and saying "I like you". It's reassuring that you do like him.

It seems like he hints at things all the time. For instance, when he told you about his dream and he said "I told you I loved you and loved working with you, and that you were a hard-worker, and you told me you enjoyed being with me too" he gave you a HUGE opening. All you had to do was say "oh, well is that true?" Just because he's a guy doesn't mean he's not a person just as you are. He doesn't have some magic ability to not fear rejection. It should not be his responsibility to do everything because that's just not fair. He shouldn't have to be 100% direct with you because you're "shy" and don't want to make the first move. Well, why does he have to? Perhaps he's shy too. If you really are interested in him and don't want this to turn out to be nothing more than a brief flirtationship, give him a little help! At least give him 20%!

You've got all the reason in the world to believe that he likes you and is interested in you. What have you given him to make him believe that you're interested in him? Probably not much. "Shy" is not an excuse. It just makes things slightly more challenging. Shy people get married all the time. How did they get to that place? They had to muster up enough of themselves to prove to the person that they liked that they liked them more than their shyness was able to control them. The next time he says or does something odd, say something about it. Ask him directly. "What do you mean by that". If an opportunity doesn't arise, reschedule the lunch date. It's not difficult to say "Remember when we were going to go out to lunch? We should reschedule that."

There's a difference between being shy and not showing much interest. The reason why he sometimes seems very interested and then doesn't seem interested at all is probably because of the mixed signals that you are giving him. Whether you mean to or not or whether you even think that you are, you're probably giving him just as many mixed signals as he's giving you. All you may have to do is overcome your fear for 10 seconds and give him just one clearer signal. Getting that lunch date rescheduled could really help things. Good luck!

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Let me start from the very beginning(which will be very long) There's a co-worker who has shown interests in me or at leas that's the way I read it.It started one day when He asked if I had a boyfriend, what he was like and what kind of dates we went on.Then one day I upset because on old crush of mine contacted me on facebook and things didn't go well.This co-worker hugged me, kissed my hand, caressed my cheek, told me I was beautiful and special.A few weeks went by and he didn't really show anymore signs until one day during break he told me that another co-worker said that I was the perfect girl for him, and that he should take me out for dinner.A couple days went by and one night when I was leaving, I tripped over a chair, He ran up to me and asked if I was okay.I told him, I was having an unlucky day, he then told me I needed a boyfriend to unbreak that luck, he asked me how old of a guy would I date.Then eventually offered lunch.Scheduled a get to gether, but he had to cancel because his brother had a heart attack.We never rescheduled because we both got busy, few weeks went by and he didn't really show anymore interests.Until last week he brought up my old crush again, asked if I still contacted him.Told him no, that I don't talk to that guy anymore.He then went on to say how he had a similar issue.

Tonight I was leaving and he was upstairs on break, I had to wait for my ride so I sat down.He asked when my days off were and I told them.Then he told me how he sent me a friend request on Facebook, and we discussed games.I pulled out my phone to text my ride.And he started laughing, I thought he was laughing at me texting "I was like what?" He said nothing, but kept laughing and I responded "Are you laughing at me texting?" He was like "what?" and kept laughing.Finally I said "What is so funny!" He then said, "Well last night, I had a dream...about you" I was like "About me?" and he responded "Yeah, you were sitting texting like you are now, and I knocked on your door, you let me in and we sat and talked and had a good time, then you kissed me.I told you I loved you and loved working with you, and that you were a hard-worker, and you told me you enjoyed being with me too"

I felt really strange hearing this.Why would he say something like that? Do you think he made it up just to get a kick out of seeing my reaction?

Prior to this random outburst of laughing, when i told him that I had my old crush blocked he was like "Good, keep him blocked!" lol

Was he trying to hint he wants to kiss me or likes me?

Are you interested in this guy at all? It may not be easy for you to tell, but for someone on the outside, having read your description of the situation, it's PAINFULLY obvious that he's interested in you. It sounds like he could have made up a lot of these things or exaggerated them. It just doesn't sound genuine, it sounds desperate. The real question though, is whether or not you are interested in him. I would think that if you were, you'd be dating him by now with as aggressively as he's going after you. If you are interested in him, girl, quit acting clueless and go for it! If you're not interested or you're not sure, quit acting clueless. If you're really not interested in him, what he's doing is actually pretty disgusting. He's taken this way overboard and is verging on creeper status. You either need to date him, or tell him to stop. You shouldn't just go with the flow and continue feeding his hunger for you. It could get out of control and create a lot of pain for the both of you. You may feel like it's the right thing to do to be nice to him, but it isn't. The more you allow him to build up his hope and feelings for you, the worse it's going to be when you finally do have to reject him. Figure out what you want and assert yourself. Be direct. Tell him you want to date him or tell him that you're not interested and he needs to back off. If he doesn't, you need to threaten to report him to your company for sexual harassment (and then actually follow through if he continues). This is actually kind of a serious issue if you're not interested in him. Good luck and quit acting so submissive and clueless. It may be nice to get his attention, but allowing him to go this far could become dangerous.

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