I am 48 years old (yes that's old compared to some of you).

I have worked in nursing and/or healthcare management positions for 24 years. Primarily OB, Neonatal, Mental Health, Occupational Health and Geriatrics. In Jan 2008 I started my own business to board horses and do equine/human education. I am also a certified dog trainer.

I've been around the block so to speak and seem to be always helping others. I've been told that the reason people seek me out for advice is that I am approachable and caring. But on the same token even though I consider the person's feelings. I tell it like I see it. I've dealt with people in trouble with the law, dysfunctional families such as those with abuse & marriage problems. Not to mention problems with employees and employers.

I don't ever claim to know it all, and always keep an open mind.


I was at a party on the beach and screaming alot i know its not good but i was, And when i came home my voice went all squeaky and sometimes when i talk i either talk squeaky or not at all. I try drinking bu it doesn't help my throat hurts and it's dry when i have drunk about 1 bottle of milk. Please answer A.S.A.P

If it doesn't go away in a day or so be sure to contact your doctor. In the mean time, try resting your voice--just whisper when you need to say something, and try gargling with warm salt water, and drinking extra water. Milk won't hurt you, but it's not likely to give you relief either. This type of thing just usually takes time.


back muscles sore and stiff and stiff all over this make my arms feel weak the muscle in my lags want spasm that herts age 71 male

I assume you are asking what to do about this? The first thing you need to do is visit your doctor. The reason I say this is there are many things that could be causing your weakness and pain, some serious and some not so serious, but there's no way to get to the bottom of it without being diagnosed. It may be something simple that an inexpensive lab test can detect. But there is help and hope, so don't put it off..and at the very least you will have peace of mind as a result.


Does any one know of any other good websites similar to craigslist? I was looking for a horse for my moms land.

If you have a local equine Vet..call and ask about rescues near by. I for one hate to see horses go to slaughter, and adopting well help prevent that in some cases.


We've been married for 6 years and I want to have children but I showed my husband a sad video on YouTube now he's crying and he's scared to have kids. What should I do ? I love him so much.

It is good that you are looking out for his feelings. As you know, having children is serious business, and parents pour out their heart and soul. There will always be fear that something could go wrong, but it is worth the risk. If you can, talk to a church (or other) leader about this before proceeding, it may help ease his fears. The positives out weigh everything, he may need to realize this before his fears are alleviated or at least reduced.


My BFF and I went to a party on Friday night and expected to have a great time. We'll call her Reilly and me Carol. Reilly knows that like this guy ( we'll call him Steven). So she went ahead and asked him out. HE SAID YES TO HER!!! I thought that she could have told me about what she was going to do but she said that I would have hurt her. I would never have done that over a guy but she didnt believe me. She avoided me the rest of the night except when 2 guys got mad and it was leaning toward a fight so she comes up to us like:
"I need my B****** cuz there's about to be a fight."
It really ticked me off and I need to know what to do about the guy and my BFF.

That was very cold and inconsiderate of Reilly. Since she was aware of how you feel, you will probably never be able to trust her again. If the guy did not know your feelings, he did not do anything wrong. All I can say is Karma is very real. You don't have to do anything. You don't need friends like that, so go on with your life as if nothing ever happened..except try to ignore your former friend as much as possible. The situation will iron it's self out, he won't care for her much or she will cheat on him. It's not going to work and then you will have your chance, and by the time you get that chance you might not want him either.


I've been having a lot of problems with my boyfriend and i recently started self harming again, i always hit my head when he aggravates me or ignores me and i cut myself when i feel he doesnt care, no one knows about it only him. i am 19 yrs old and i did this from age 11-15 then i stopped when i started dating him cause he made my life better than before (we've been together since then). Well lately every time we argue i always try and go to sleep because i seem to forget, but when i cant to go to sleep i start hitting my head uncontrollably and start cutting. Yesterday he made me mad and i started hitting my head really bad more than ever before and really hard so i was afraid cause i started going crazy and having thoughts of killing and weird thoughts and i tried falling asleep but couldnt because i had taken a nap that day so i took Acetaminophen PM with sleep aid (cause my head was hurting from when i hit it). and i fell asleep from 9-7 a.m. i woke up cause he called me and i felt really sleepy my head felt really heavy and tingly and i couldnt talk right and my head felt numb and it hurt a lot. I fell back asleep and woke up at 9 a.m. and felt soo sleepy i tried getting up and almost fell over and i was so dizzy and my head feels so heavy i thought maybe it was because i hadnt eaten since yesterday i only ate an apple (i dont starve myself i usually eat a lot i just had a lot on my mind and i slept most of the day since i was arguing with my boyfriend). I managead to serve myself cereal but could barely eat cause i kept falling asleep and i could barely put the spoon to my mouth and i cant smile or open my mouth a lot and my head feels like its gonna fall over. I have been depressed since as long as i can remember from age 11-15 i cut myself and i attempted to commit suicide all the time and my mom would spank me with a belt so i wouldnt do it anymore and get really mad and say i was such a brat cause other people had it worse yet i would cut myself and wanna die, and sometimes her hitting me would stop me from cutting cause i was scared she was gonna find out and hit me and yell at me and i hate seeing her mad or upset. but that stopped and i had been telling her i have been feeling more depressed than usual cause i always feel depressed and that i've been hitting my head when aggravated and she just said its cause im such a brat and i over react at stuff. but today i felt weird so i told her this morning and she got really mad and yelled that she hated me and that she was gonna hit me and i swore i wouldnt do it anymore but anyway im scared cause i feel like just going to sleep even though i slept almost all day yesterday and my head feels wierd like i can write this because i know the keyboard by memory after years of taking the computer class in school but i cant read like if i tried to read something i cant but yet again i can write this.But could this be because of the pills i took or is this serious and yes I know im depressed but my family can barely afford to pay the bills and get enough food we have no type of insurance and dont qualify for any we cant afford even going to the doctor so most of the time we dont go and we already owe so much to the hospital so now we dont ever go even if we are in excruciating pain cause we cant afford it.my parents cant afford missing a day a work to go so they go to work with the pain and i dont have family here cause i came from mexico and im now legal but i dont have anyone and since im so depressed and negative i dont have any friends i only have my boyfriend who works nights and works twelve hour shifts and hasnt had a day off in YEARS. he works from 10-10 gets home at 11 wakes up at 6 showers eats sees me sometimes plays games or just lays and relaxes til he leaves at 9, he hates going out because he is always tired and the light bothers him and his legs and joings always hurt he hates his job but cant find a better one. What should i do? Like should i go to sleep? or Should i wait til my boyfriend wakes up and tell him to take me to the Dr (he does have money since he works a lot) but right now his family took it all(like always) and he only has like a 500 dollars, he told me, or should i just not worry about it cause it could be like my depression or the pill i took? or is there anything i can do myself i tried listening to music or trying to wake up and i cant i feel so sleepy even as i write this my eyes close ?

You posted this a while ago, so your funny feeling has probably resolved. Sounds like you have had a very difficult time, and life is hard for you. You say that all you have is your boyfriend, and your parents that have treated you horrible. That's not true, you have yourself...don't give anyone else control by hurting yourself because of them. Everyone was put here for a reason, and that reason is not to be treated badly. Don't tolerate it, you are worth more than that. Yes you need to seek help for the depression, but beware you might get resistance from your boyfriend. He doesn't want you to get better because then that makes him look even worse. So take care of yourself, that is all we can count on in this world anyway.


I honestly feel like my step brother has hooked up a hidden camera in my room. His friends will come over and they have this name that they call me, and i'm pretty sure it involves what I do in the privacy of my room. I have looked up how to detect a hidden camera but I don't even know where to begin looking. Like the internet says they can be hidden in tvs and vcrs but how the heck are you supposed to open a vcr or tv to find a camera? I want to confront my mom about it but she'll just think im crazy, and she'll ask me why I think theres a hidden camera in my room and I really dont want to explain the meaning behind their joke.. What do I do? How do I know if theres a camera in my room? I mean, the internet also says "look for any red or green dots" well my tv has a red light on it but it came like that and so does my dvd player, and dvr. Please someone help. I am at a loss and I just want to get to the end of this and find out if there really is a camera in my room. Oh and how long does it take to even hook up a hidden camera?

I suppose you will have to sneak into your brother's room when he is not home. If he hid a wireless camera there will need to be a receiver connected to his computer, it will probably be a USB device. Even wireless cams need power, so look for cables or plugs. If he hid a small video cam, he'd have to go to your room to retrieve it to download and watch the video. You could always set up something to see if he moves your things or even enters your room. Put a small piece of paper in the door, or arrange your items in a specific way etc. If you discover anything you may wish to tell your parents and maybe they would allow you to put a lock on your door.


my bf and i are a very happy couple. however, on the occasions that we do fight, his anger gets awful. when we first started dating, it wasn't that bad (he'd yell and things like that). over time, it's gotten worse (punching walls, calling me names). he's never hit me, but today we got into a fight and i admit (i smacked him and things, but i only do that if i felt like he was crossing the line). and although i'm wrong for doing it, he called me things like the 'b word', and he even shoved me violently and pinned me down on the bed to get in my face. also, he threw something at me. every time we reconcile, he keeps saying how he knows how angry he gets and he tries to calm it. but then he blames ME for getting him that angry and that's why it gets uncontrollable. i don't know who's wrong here anymore. it's not like he's violent all the time (no, he's not abusive in the normal sense). but it just happens when we argue. someone please tell me what to do thank you.

What bothers me most about your question is this statement you made (no, he's not abusive in the normal sense) This leads me to believe you would be willing to accept some type of abuse as long as it's not what you consider "normal abuse"
While disagreements between couples are normal and sometimes healthy if it resolves an issue, mental and physical abuse is not and is NOT acceptable.

The pattern that you are relating here is highly suggestive of an abusive relationship that is and will continue to escalate. If he blames you--and is uncontrollable like you say, he is obviously not in control and could one day seriously hurt you. No one should be held responsible for the lack of control of another person. That's their deal. You are not controlling his emotions and actions, HE is! If you told him to jump off a cliff, is he going to do it because you told him to? See..you cannot control him.

An abuser follows this pattern, name calling-throwing and punching things to wear you down mentally in the beginning. The victim will start to have lower self esteem, and may possibly believe the outbursts and name calling are their fault.
IMO 9 times out of 10 the abuser will step this up and begin to physically hurt their victim. Most abusers keep their partner hooked on this cycle by being remorseful, even admitting they are wrong and saying they will change. When in fact change will only be for the worse.

It is easy to get caught up and addicted to a love hate relationship, but it is not really "love" it is an addiction to the person he is when he is nice or one that you want him to be.

Not sure how long you've been in the relationship, but that's not important, the important thing is that you get out while you are still emotionally and physically well.


My husband's 85 year old mother is solely dependent on my husband for support. She has lived separately but due to the onset of severe Alzheimer and her mounting maintenance costs, it is no longer affordable by my husband. I have agreed to take a loan in order to expand our home and allow her to live with us.
I am however stressed by my husband's announcement that he intends to move all of MIL's furniture in to our home despite being unable to accomodate them. I feel exploited by having to take a loan to ease my husband's financial burden but yet he is willing to impose further stress on me. I must say that I reluctantly agreed as my husband is her only child but she has been a very vulgar and rude woman in the over 10 yrs I have known her and now I will also have to deal with her behavioural issues associated with her illness.
Please suggest how to deal with this pending crisis before I end up divorced!

Having some experience with this, I hope I can help. My mother-in-law also had alzheimer's. At the early onset of her illness she made her children feel guilty for considering nursing home placement and would cry each time they approached the issue. Being an assisted living administrator at the time, I knew she would soon go beyond the assisted living level, and when they need more than that, it is nearly impossible for a family to provide home care.

One of the daughters, who had no experience in nursing or with AD, quit her job and moved in with Mom to care for her during the last few years. It was a disaster, but if I spoke up, my opinion was not valued as only a daughter-in-law. However, I continued to give my husband gentle reminders about the issues at hand. His sister needed a break, and he stayed with Mom alone to care for her. He called me in tears, as he finally realized I was right about the level of care she needed. So, he began to take my side regarding the nursing home issue. However the sisters didn't agree. Their Mom died at home in a miserable state and should have been cared for by professionals.

I would not recommend that you take a loan, or move in your Mother in law's furniture, or move her in for that matter. Your husband probably does not have experience caring for a person with Alzheimer's and is only trying to be a good son and live without guilt. His relationship with his Mother will become so strained, neither of them will enjoy her last years on this earth.

Instead, go directly to the nearest Alzheimer's association and ask for help, and how to get social services involved to assist with the finances. They are wonderful people and hopefully can offer your husband peace of mind and convince him to leave her care to the professionals that are trained to do these things (and go home after an 8 hr shift)

I think you are right, you would end up divorced and your husband would eventually get burned out on caring for Mom, even if he doesn't see it that way now. In the end everyone will be alone and miserable, when things do not have to be like that at all. You may have to stand your ground on this one, it seems you are completely in the right.


So my relatives husband has apparently been looking for a job for a while and cant find one but keeps living in my aunts house, doesnt pay for anything and seems to be able to go on vacation and buy fancy electronics. Point is my b/f just got a new job. Its a labour intensive job lifting heavy items up to 90lbs. She asked me if he can put down my b/f name on his application as someone he knows in the company. Her husband has a serious back problem and cant lift heavy objects, stand or sit for long periods of time. Therefor I know he either wont get the job or get the job and not be very good at it. I dont want to let them use my b/f name because I dont see it ending well but dont know how to say no. Besides even if I do say no whats from stopping them as putting him down anyways. Help I dont know what to say I grew up with her and dont want to hurt her feelings.

I don't advocate lying, so you could just say "I will have to say no in case he doesn't work out" and just leave it at that.

Or if you really want to spare her feelings, a little white lie might be in order, just say you don't want to be a reference for someone applying to the same place that you work because the last time you were a reference, the person didn't get the job, and you think of them as friends and prefer not to risk the friendship over employment.


what am i in store for regarding pain and having my teeth pulled all at same time??? i will be getting my dentures put in right after getting them pulled, just looking to see if anyone has any sound advice for me...

The pain will depend on how difficult your teeth are to extract, and how many you have to have pulled at once. The new way of thinking is that a treatment denture that is put in right away acts as a band-aid to help control the bleeding and swelling. In addition you will get accustomed to dentures quicker and be ready for a set of custom made dentures sooner than if you go without a treatment denture. You will probably be given pain pills and instructions to help with the pain and healing. Follow them closely, and keep a good attitude. The pain of extractions is nothing like the pain from an abscess or infected tooth. Stay positive that this will be a better solution. Many people are back to work in 2 or 3 days and report very little problems. You may just be one of those.


I'm 19 years old and currently a highschool senior (no I'm not a super

senior), but the man I'm totally head over heels in love with is 39. I met him
my freshman year because he happened to be my busdriver. Do you think thats weird? And from the
first day I saw him I always thought he was cute but nothing
more than that. There was no actual feelings but by the end of freshman
year I felt something builiding there kinda like a crush. I wanted to
talk to him more than just saying hi and bye everday, but didn't know how
to. That summer I found myself thinking about him a lot. I think i grew to be
infactuated by him. And sophmore year

came around but nothing changed just kept admiring him more wishing
for him to talk to me- and I think that's when I was starting to like him more
than a crush. I'd be thinking of him at home on weekends, when I was out
with my friends, and even in class waiting for the bell to ring just so I can be
on the bus with him. No matter how busy i kept myself he managed to be
on my mind all day and all night long. The summer after sophmore year the
same feelinggs continued but I never told anyone cause I didn't know how
to and was kinda embarrassed. It wasn't until junior year that one day this bus
driver just started talking to me. I remember I got up to throw something away
and he was like nice shot and I

was like thanks! And he was like I think you should go out for the ladys
basketball team and we just started talking from there. THAT DAY WAS
its the guy i was totally in love with that said it..who also likes basketball.
He picked me to talk to out of every girl on that bussss!!! meee! It went from
talking a couple times a week to everyday. And I was starrting to like likee
him moree! LIKE ALOTT :)) He was so sweet and intresting and diffreent
and charming, and kind, and smart even if he didnt go to college, AND

then all the other guys I know. I still told nobody bout my feeling and that
summer just because I liked him so much I made a goal to work out even
if I already was skinny just so he“d be impressed by my body when senior
year would start up and he did notice. I thought A LOT about him that
summer even if I kept myself busy with vacations and friends! That summer
was the hardest to go through without seeing him Senior year came and I
got closer with this bus driver I shared by personal life with him and

so did he. WE HAD SO MANY ALIKE INTERESTs (we liked the same sports, movies, tv shows-all ten shows we both watched, values, i dont know we just were really alike. AND HE MADE ME
SWEETHEART BUT NOBODY ELSE THAT I reallly reallly realllly knew
that this is the man I wanted to be with! But that's when I found out he had
a fiance and so I stopped talking to him but then he started talking to me
and I think

he noticed hw I suddenly stopped talking to him after he told me about the
fiance! I think I kinda made it akward but he just started talking to me again
even if i didnt make the effort to talk to him. I dont know if he knew I liked him..I'm
JUST GNNA STAY ENGAGED! But I was dying to tell him, I invited him to
cme to my powderpuff football game and watch me play! He said he would
of if I asked earlier! And I wish I did. But a couple months ago my bus driver
got fired for not doing a child check. I'm so sadd! I couldn't stop crying and I still cry and it hurts so so much! He
never even said goodbye to me, thers a lot I still wanted to tell him,
talking to him made me feel so happy when I was having a down day. I
wanna talk to him but I dnt knw what to dooo! - I needa to see his
face and hear his voice. Please dont judge I have feelings for my
busdriver its not a joke your heart desires what it desires! And no I
dont have daddy issues nor am I a gold digger! And no she's not some
model looking guy everyone thinks he's ugly but I think he's drop dead
gorgeous! Thers no man I rather be with than him. I'm not too young
too love so pls dnt say that, I've never gotten this feeling in my
life before! I know what a crush feels like and I now knw what love
feels like. We were so alike and had a lot of the same intrests I miss
it all. I sent him a goodbye card through the bus company but I dnt
know if he got it. What do I dooo?

I needa to see his face and hear his voice. Pls dont judge I have feelings for my busdriver its not a joke your heart desires what it desires! And no I dont have daddy issues nor am I a gold digger! And no he's not some model looking guy everyone thinks he's ugly but I think he's drop dead gorgeous! Thers no man I rather be with than him. I'm
not too young too love so pls dnt say that, I've never gotten this feeling in my life before! I know what a crush feels like and I now knw what love feels like. We were so alike and had a lot of the same intrests I miss it all. I sent him a goodbye card through the bus company but I dnt knw if he got it. What do I dooo? IS IT WEIRD I LIKE HIM? I know hes on ebay should i try and contact him? i miss him and wanna get in touch like crazy. Its been since the superbowl that hes been gone but i still am CRAZY about him. Ive tried going out with other guys to get my mind off him but nothings working. CANT I ATLEAST BE FRIENDS WITH HIM? Or friends with benfits? I wouldnt mind if he were to use me for sex, hes the only guy I would let use me for sex.

I truly do care for this man more than anything in this world. Im willing to give him anything. If he needs money which i know he does Im willing to give him my pay checks-all of them. I wanna take him on vacations hes never been able to afford, i wanna save up all my money to one day be able to surprise him with the sports car hes always wanted, I wanna take him to comedy shows he wanted to go to, i just wanna give him everything hes ever wanted and cant afford. HES MY LIFE HE COMES BEFORE ANYTHING AND ANYONE IN MY LIFEE! AND IM NOT EVEN JOKING!

I LOVEEE HIM so sos sooos sooo much, i want him to have all the happiness in the world, im not trying to be selfish cause love is not selfish, i just need him to say he doesnt want me in his life and i think itll be a little easier to move on. i dont want to move on from him causee he is my life, and i dnt evn think its possible to love again. i dont want to love anyone but him! i would take care of him so well, even when hes 60 and im 40, he"ll be just as gorgeous as he is today and ill love him more and more until i die. every thing reminds me of him..eveery song and every object-everything

should i contact him ...



If he didn't come on to you, good for him. If he hasn't contacted you it is because he is not thinking of you the same way you thought of him. That would have been very unprofessional on his part. He's engaged. No I don't think you should contact him. Well you asked, and I gave an honest opinion. Sorry that you may be hurt, but this sounds more like an "addiction" or an "obsession" rather than true love. True love is mutual. From what I gather, this is not mutual. Talking and being polite on his part says he is a nice person, and that he likes you, but that is not the same thing as being "in love".


My parents want to come and spend the night at my house. I have told them hundreds of times that they have really nasty habits (like not washing their hands after using the bathroom then touching food and not taking baths but once a week). Then they come and bring roaches with them (unintentionally of course) from their house, that they refuse to clean. (Then they ask why we don't visit them at their house. Last time we went I got a glass from the cabinet to get some water to drink and it had roach eggs and spiderwebs in it.)I have to treat them like children and tell them how to do things properly. I do not like them giving my kids food because I don't know where their hands have been. When I do tell them that they need to clean up their act, they get offended and blame it on this or that (a line of bull). Then my dad gets mad at me and says sarcastic comments (like I'm sorry we are not perfect like you). I never said I was perfect, I just don't want them to teach my kids ( 2 & 6 yrs. girls) bad habits. They need to be able to look up to them and be proud. Nothing I do seems to help. They never listen, when I'm trying to tell them something they always take it the wrong way. Then they act jealous of other family members (ex: why can u go visit them and not us?). Last time they stayed over night the room had to be cleaned because it smelled after they left. I can't take much more of this, I don't know what else to do other than just start avoiding them. I have put up with this for years, Please help...

It's not likely people like this will change. Being in property management and healthcare I realize that there are many people out there just like them! It's frustrating, but as far as teaching your children in a bad way, most likely this won't happen. You have a greater influance on your children than they do, and after all you didn't turn out like your parents. I personally think there is something mentally blocking people that stop them from having good hygiene, an illness of sorts. If you honestly love your parents don't avoid them, but keep trying to help them. If they won't let you gather the troops to get their house clean, by all means don't visit if you feel uncomfortable, and tell them the reason why, perhaps write it a letter so you don't have to tolerate the excuses and sarcism.
If they visit you, keep certain clothes and items at your house so you can wash and clean up. Don't allow them to bring luggage etc into the house. Carry around a bottle of hand santizer and disenfectant wipes....you'd think they'd get the hint that you don't want to live like they do. Either they will be offended and stop visiting on their own or they will clean up their act. If not, you have tried, and they have no one to blame but themselves.


Okay, so at the beginning of this school year I said something pretty nasty. It was referring to a boy who died of a drug overdose, and how his friend was gonna end up the same way if he didn't stop. I know, it was totally uncalled for and I really, really, really regret it. The thing is, I don't know how to apologize to the friend of the deceased boy. Its a couple of friends, actually. They happen to be the most popular guys at my high school, so I'm kinda intimidated. Now I feel like they all hate me along with the rest of the drama club.

When they found out what I said, it was obvious they were upset. One of the boys called me, and wanted to talk to me about the comment I made and try to clear the air about it all. I agreed to see him the next day in school and thought that was mature of him, but he never approached me in school the next day like he said he would.

I'm not really sure if they are starting to harass me or not. They've done a few things, such as logging onto my school account and leaving a false love letter from one of them. And on a field trip, they tapped my cell phone number to the back of the bus and made a sign that said to "call for a good time" and obviously we know what that means. I got a few inappropriate phone calls....

I was actually writing an apology letter to them all the other day, because I wanna be on good terms. I'd like to try to be friends, because they are actually nice, outgoing people. But when you get on their bad side, it isn't always pretty.

What should I do? Should I still apologize, or just ignore it all? If so, how should I approach them? Thanks in advance. [16/f]

Hello, I am thinking if you put anything in writing it will be picked apart and used against you, so no don't write a letter. Call the boy back that called you, and tell him you've been thinking about the meeting that never happened. Then explain your side of the story, when bad things happen people don't always know what to say, explain that you chould have chosen your words more carefully, but I wouldn't necessarily apologize, that makes you look 'guilty' Perhaps you were only saying it out of concern because you were so distraught over the boys death, it might have made an impact on you on how dangerous drugs are, and overall the other boys are probably thinking the same thing. Once you explain in mature terms, then drop it and let it go. If they continue to bother you make sure you report it to the authorites.


My friend is having an affair with a married man. Side note: This is her 4th affair with a married man in our office! Anyway, I recently found out he is also having an affair with another woman in the office (yes, we all work at the same company). This man (I use that term loosely) has told my friend he loves her and will leave his wife for her. I say, 'poppycock'. He recently helped the other woman buy a home by giving her a down payment of $27,000. He's bought my friend a watch, so she always knows what the time is and always remembers to meet him! My friend knows nothing of this other woman....I feel the need to tell her. Should I? Or should I keep this a secret and let her find out by herself? Which, I believe, she eventually will. Argh! This is killing me! I don't want to hurt her, but I think she needs to know. Right?

ohhh boy, what a soap opera huh? Just feel lucky you are on the outside looking in. I didn't tell a coworker about the affair I knew her husband was having, and she ended up with VD and had a miscarriage. She was so possesive of him I felt that she would think I was lying and wanted him myself. I should have told her, but yet I doubt she would have believed me. Which may be the case with your friend too. Is there any way you can put the evidence in front of her so you don't actually tell her. If you can't do that hint to her instead. Anyone who has half a brain knows "If a man will cheat for you, they will also cheat on you"


I have two lovebirds-- I feed them a seed mix and fruits/vegetables every day. I read that it's good for them to have variety in their diet...

Any ideas on other kinds of foods I can feed them like grains, pasta, etc.?

Also, does anyone know of a good treat recipe I can prepare for them?


Here's a link that might help you. I always fed store bought treats to my birds, but making them would be nicer! Grains are your seed mix, so it sounds like your bird already has a good diet.
They also need gravel or a cuddle bone to help digestion.



3 or 4 weeks ago, this is a long story, i'll try and make it short. My friend(no longer) touched me in very inapropriate places. My mom thought she was cool by letting me go with him places, im 15 and a half, and he is 18. Thts illegal right? And I didnt really want him to touch me, I was scared, and we were alone, and i was afraid if I tried to get away, he'd hurt me, and if I stopped hangning out with him, he would come and get me, or something. And I just told me mom..I was so afraid, but she realizes tht my so called friend was playing her. She feels horribly bad, but we both cant decide if we should tell my dad. For one thing, my dad is a police officer. Second, my dad already hated my so called friend and offered to arrest him before. And the guy is really creepy, who touched me. He was a ponytail on the back of his head, and is just plain...looks like a child molestor. I was so stupid, talking to him, txting him, hanging out with him, i dont know why i continued to do things with him. He even asked me to have sex and brought condoms on night, when it was dark, he pulled into the parking lot at a nearby lake in some place i didnt know and parked the car. And of course I said hell no, im not on pills, condoms break, hes ugly, im scared, im smarter than this, i dont want to be pregnant, bingo. I wanted to go home. And if I tell my dad, that hes touched me in "wrong" places, my dad WILL arrest him and put him in jail. And I'll have to go to a testimony/trial. And I have been stupid and have been giving his phone number to random people on the internet and my friends, to call him or txt him, saying tht hes a creeper, or giving it to random people, one which sent a picture of their own penis to him, which wasnt entirely my fault, because my friends were over. Is that considered phone harrasment? Im so scared way beyond belief. i live in Ohio

Well, number one child molestors can look like anyone..so looks are not the issue. However the issue is how he made you feel, obviously creepy so your gut instict says.."this is so wrong"
I must tell you that you are very smart for realizing this! So many girls would fall for the thrill of the ultimate bad boy persona. Sometimes that risk is addictive, that's why you continued to have contact with him. Since you are smarter than most girls, I believe yes, you should tell your Dad. The reason I say this, is something really terrible could happen to the next person involved with him and you have the opportunity to at least put a temporary stop to it. Tell your friends to have no more contact with him as you are handling things in a professional manner now.


Hey all...Being a member here for awhile and offering advice myself. I now need advice. I'll keep it short and to the point. I shall utter those famous words...It's long!

Anyway, I work the weekends at my job. I am the only one there. I get there on Saturdays around 10AM. Well, last week I pulled in the parking lot and there's a car there. A guy jumped out and said, "Hey sir, hope you don't mind me staying here..." I told him I didn't have a problem with it. He said he was just going to take a nap then leave. I had walked in the door with my lunch and got to thinking, "Darn, I know what that's like..." So I go outside and offer him my food but he turned it down. Anyway, this Saturday he's there again. I had no choice but to call my boss and tell him. He told me to either call the police or ask him to leave. I told him to leave. Actually I told him to go away and to comeback tomorrow because no one would be there but come Monday he would have to leave or the owners would call the cops.
Here's my dilemma. I know what it's like to living on the streets. I talked to the man, he lost his job and has been out of work for 5 months. Everywhere he goes he gets harassed by the cops or told to leave. He's been trying at the unemployment office and at Day Hire but no luck. I am torn between disobeying my boss's rules and helping this person out. Any ideas? I just don't think that's right to be an American and have to live on the streets. No one should have to suffer here. We have it good. We are blessed.

Okay so you are referring to this guy that died? How sad! Maybe this answer will help others though. Instead of getting your self in hotwater and allowing a potential con in your life, refer them to agencies that can help, such as the salvation army a mission, even a church or social services. I am a perfect example of getting taken advantage of by a so called friend...someone I tried to help. It's practically ruined my life and she does not appreciate it.


yea thanks for your advice lol ummm
see thats the thing we used to be best friends completely before we dated and we could talk about anything that bothered us about each other or anybody else. when we get into arguements i want to break up but when it comes down to it its really hard for me. i dont no if i can bring myself to do it. weve been dating for a little over a year and i dont want to break up and lose her i want to try to atleast keep communication open with us. i dont want her to hate me i lost all my friends so i could hang out wit her all the time and i dont know if ill be able to get them back ill be left with nothing and i think im scared of that

Whatever you decide, best of luck!

I am guessing your friends would come around. By the way you shouldn't have to give up friends for anyone.



I watch too much anime, spend about seven hours on the computer every week day and more than 20 hours on the weekends. I eat every hour on the hour, I have friends who lie and talk behind my back and I have lost all insperation for writing my stories, which is why I'm usually on the computer. It's hard to trust people and I feel really empty. I have sudden depression every so often. Usually around nighttime or evening. I don't know why, but maybe one of the things I listed above could be the problem? If you suggest exercise, I'm sorry, but it's too hard for me. I'm not fat or anything, mostly average, maybe five pounds overweight, but that's it. I mean, I don't like exercising. I can't, really. I'll promise myself to do it, but I never do. I feel like I'm going to die and that I'm going to catch some kind of diease. I'm just feeling utterly depressed. This is the first time my depression phases have lasted more than 24 hours. It's started since yesterday morning when I woke up. I cna't do anything with myself. I try to perk up, watching happy movies and listening to happy songs, but they just make me cry. I've tried watching my favorite anime, Naruto, but that made it HORRIBLY worse since I've read up ahead in the manga. (Japanese comics)
Do any of you think you can help me? I've had thoughts of suicide, but they disappear after a while. I sometimes get the thought of 'why am I here' kind of thing. I talked to my mother, but she claims I'm either tired or just says, "You're here to be a writer". That's nice to know, but it's not satisfying me. I've had a few problems with my friends, such as backstabbers and people who try to use me and cheat on me.
I hope this was enough information for you to help me. Please, I need help because I don't like the empty feeling. I want to be happier and write more, but I don't know how.

"Why am I here?" thoughts are very typical for most people, especially at your age. You are coming to terms with finding a purpose and direction in life.

Suicide thoughts should never be taken lightly, no matter how brief. You need to tell an adult that can give you direction, a school counselor, nurse, your doctor, pastor or a teacher.

It sounds as if you are isolated, and maybe intentionally do so because of your lack of trust in others. Instead of excercise what I would suggest to you is find a club to join and/or volunteer some of your time at a non profit organization. You can make new friends that way, and perhaps meet others with the same interests as you.

Also I am wondering if since you are telling me your depression happens in the late afternoon and evening if the lack of light has an effect on your moods. Not sure what area of the country you are in, but this happens in winter for some people too. Look up some info on S.A.D. Or seasonal affective disorder, and perhaps you will want to try a sun lamp or some bright colors in your room.

You may also wish to keep a diary or journal that is just dedicated to your moods. Write what precipitates any moods--if anything-- and describe your emotions. You may discover a specific pattern and then can work on changing that pattern.


<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker