I watch too much anime, spend about seven hours on the computer every week day and more than 20 hours on the weekends. I eat every hour on the hour, I have friends who lie and talk behind my back and I have lost all insperation for writing my stories, which is why I'm usually on the computer. It's hard to trust people and I feel really empty. I have sudden depression every so often. Usually around nighttime or evening. I don't know why, but maybe one of the things I listed above could be the problem? If you suggest exercise, I'm sorry, but it's too hard for me. I'm not fat or anything, mostly average, maybe five pounds overweight, but that's it. I mean, I don't like exercising. I can't, really. I'll promise myself to do it, but I never do. I feel like I'm going to die and that I'm going to catch some kind of diease. I'm just feeling utterly depressed. This is the first time my depression phases have lasted more than 24 hours. It's started since yesterday morning when I woke up. I cna't do anything with myself. I try to perk up, watching happy movies and listening to happy songs, but they just make me cry. I've tried watching my favorite anime, Naruto, but that made it HORRIBLY worse since I've read up ahead in the manga. (Japanese comics)
Do any of you think you can help me? I've had thoughts of suicide, but they disappear after a while. I sometimes get the thought of 'why am I here' kind of thing. I talked to my mother, but she claims I'm either tired or just says, "You're here to be a writer". That's nice to know, but it's not satisfying me. I've had a few problems with my friends, such as backstabbers and people who try to use me and cheat on me.
I hope this was enough information for you to help me. Please, I need help because I don't like the empty feeling. I want to be happier and write more, but I don't know how.
Don't worry at all. This is normal and I went through the same thing, and probably am still going through it. In my opinion, this is a case of "suppression" rather than "depression".
When you're on the computer too much, all of your focus tire out because it's so direct and consistent all the time, so your thoughts, feelings, sort of go into a straight line that heads to nowhere. Doesn't sound too good, does it? If you really don't want to exercise, don't do it when all of your moods are so down. It can cause you to strain more after your exercises.
I guess it's not really a writer's block situation, but that you just need a break. I used to be really into writing fan fictions...but now I just lost the thrill. I still love to write. But I just don't have the motivation anymore. It doesn't mean you're not a writer anymore. You just need a change, or a break.
Friend problems...we all have them. It may sound bad but you'll learn it anyways. There are people you can trust in this world. Then there are people you can't. You'll meet both kinds over the course of your life. It's not that you have trust problems or anything like that. But if a person has earned your trust, give them their share. If they haven't, just smile and politely treat them. Who cares really what they want.
Finally...we're here, because we're here. Make what you may of it. Be glad, or be sad. Your options are wide open. All of us have the right to live. Because we do. We were born so we have that right. Do whatever you want with that right, but whatever you do, be careful with the consequences...
Sorry if I'm not so much an advice giver...I'm just trying to make you realize your problems...their causes and effects and stuff. You're you, so I can't make decisions for you because I don't know you.
One tiny advice though...ever tried making lists? You never analyze you and your life as much as making lists. Make one! Of what kind of guys you like...your favourite books...your ideal future...what you hate, what you love...it always helps! After doing that, talk to some people that make you feel good. People who make you feel excited, motivated and happy. Try to find them. There's always some...I hope I helped...! [ orphans's advice column | Ask orphans A Question ]
Nallie answered Monday December 15 2008, 11:00 am: "Why am I here?" thoughts are very typical for most people, especially at your age. You are coming to terms with finding a purpose and direction in life.
Suicide thoughts should never be taken lightly, no matter how brief. You need to tell an adult that can give you direction, a school counselor, nurse, your doctor, pastor or a teacher.
It sounds as if you are isolated, and maybe intentionally do so because of your lack of trust in others. Instead of excercise what I would suggest to you is find a club to join and/or volunteer some of your time at a non profit organization. You can make new friends that way, and perhaps meet others with the same interests as you.
Also I am wondering if since you are telling me your depression happens in the late afternoon and evening if the lack of light has an effect on your moods. Not sure what area of the country you are in, but this happens in winter for some people too. Look up some info on S.A.D. Or seasonal affective disorder, and perhaps you will want to try a sun lamp or some bright colors in your room.
You may also wish to keep a diary or journal that is just dedicated to your moods. Write what precipitates any moods--if anything-- and describe your emotions. You may discover a specific pattern and then can work on changing that pattern. [ Nallie's advice column | Ask Nallie A Question ]
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