3 or 4 weeks ago, this is a long story, i'll try and make it short. My friend(no longer) touched me in very inapropriate places. My mom thought she was cool by letting me go with him places, im 15 and a half, and he is 18. Thts illegal right? And I didnt really want him to touch me, I was scared, and we were alone, and i was afraid if I tried to get away, he'd hurt me, and if I stopped hangning out with him, he would come and get me, or something. And I just told me mom..I was so afraid, but she realizes tht my so called friend was playing her. She feels horribly bad, but we both cant decide if we should tell my dad. For one thing, my dad is a police officer. Second, my dad already hated my so called friend and offered to arrest him before. And the guy is really creepy, who touched me. He was a ponytail on the back of his head, and is just plain...looks like a child molestor. I was so stupid, talking to him, txting him, hanging out with him, i dont know why i continued to do things with him. He even asked me to have sex and brought condoms on night, when it was dark, he pulled into the parking lot at a nearby lake in some place i didnt know and parked the car. And of course I said hell no, im not on pills, condoms break, hes ugly, im scared, im smarter than this, i dont want to be pregnant, bingo. I wanted to go home. And if I tell my dad, that hes touched me in "wrong" places, my dad WILL arrest him and put him in jail. And I'll have to go to a testimony/trial. And I have been stupid and have been giving his phone number to random people on the internet and my friends, to call him or txt him, saying tht hes a creeper, or giving it to random people, one which sent a picture of their own penis to him, which wasnt entirely my fault, because my friends were over. Is that considered phone harrasment? Im so scared way beyond belief. i live in Ohio
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship? rierie09 answered Monday January 5 2009, 9:18 pm: well if he did not have sexual intercourse in any way using fingers,a penis,etc. then it is not rape. it is in fact sexual harrassment and he can get reported. i think that you should sit down with your mom and dad and tell him and ask him what will happen. But with the phone thing it was not as bad as what he did to you, but you could have just been a little better because you basically stooped down to his level. but if he knows or find out that those are all your friends who has been harrassing him and if you think you might be in danger then tell your dad before any thing happens. Be safe. [ rierie09's advice column | Ask rierie09 A Question ]
Peeps answered Sunday January 4 2009, 1:24 am: As a paid user, I can see the past questions you have asked. Now, I can't see who you are actually (as in, username) but I can very well see some of the past things you've been curious about and what-not.
Now, in this past month (not even a month long, at that) you have asked questions similar to:
"My male friend wants to "play" with me a little but likes a shaved vagina. Can I get some tips on how to shave my vaginal area for him?"
and
"I'm planning on having sex soon but I'm nervous about pregnancy and stuff like that...is there anything I should know about having sex for the first time that I might not already know?"
Now, chances are that your "male" friend in these questions happens to be the same guy you're talking about here. Chances are, he knew your "plans" to engage in sexual relations--fondling and actual intercourse--with him (especially since you knew what sort of vaginal area he desired most of all). Chances are, he thought all systems were go-ahead when he thought the sexual play was initiated in some form.
If you take this guy to court then your history of questions on this site can be used against you in the court room. You would have to somehow prove that the guy you talk about in your other questions is NOT this same guy. You would have to explain who you were planning to have sex with then if it was not this guy.
If you did something you regret now there is absolutely no use in causing this guy to go through Hell for the rest of his life. Honestly, were you, AT SOME POINT--ANY POINT WHILE KNOWING HIM, leading him to believe that there would be sexual relations involved in your friendship? Think very hard about this.
For a last note, it isn't going to stand up in court when you say, "Well, he tried having sex with me--even brought condoms once--and I was like, 'No, you're ugly!' and then went out with him another time after that..." I think if someone tried to persuade me to have sex with them when I thought they were too "ugly" to reproduce with then I wouldn't be going out with them alone anymore. Hmm...
Really, it's okay to regret letting a guy go further than you were ready for. Sometimes our bodies get ahead of our hearts and minds and we end up in positions we really were not emotionally ready to deal with. If this is the case, please just leave the poor guy alone. If this is the case, he really meant no harm but thought it was something you both desired. If this is the case, please stop putting this story out there like you were some innocent victim and not an initiator and planner.
Stop harassing the guy any way it is. Just. Stop. It. NOW. That alone doesn't look good in a court room because usually the innocent victim tries to stay far, far away from the attacker (almost always the victim NEVER initiates contact with the attacker). The victim is usually the one that is harassed by the attacker. The victim is usually so upset that he/she tries to totally forget about their attacker in all ways possible. You are going to have to explain why you dwell so much on your attacker to actually make verbal contact with him on a fairly regular basis.
A ponytail does not constitute child-molester appearance. Actually, there is not a specific LOOK of a child molester. They come in ALL sorts of shapes, sizes, heights, and races. For proof of this, type in any zip code and state to search for on The National Sex Offender Public Website:
I am not going to advise you on a course of action. That is for you, and you alone to decide.
Heres the thing. We don't know this guy. We don't know if he's just a bit creepy, or if hes a genuine threat. You do. You know the situation you were in. It doesnt sound like he forced the issue, just tried and got slapped down. I could be wrong, I understand talking about it, let alone writing about it to strangers could be more than you can handle.
Heres the thing. Given that your father is a police officer, if authorities become involved this guy's life is quite possibly fucked. A conviction won't go away.
You need to sit down alone and think. Not with anger, with logic. Is he a danger? Were you scared because he was pushy or were you in possible danger? I can't tell you that.
Whatever you do, warn your friends and anyone else whos female who knows him about him quietly. Stop the phone harassment (thats illegal) and stop all contact with him.
This is a tough one. This requires more adult maturity than you've probably had to muster. If hes a threat, bury him. If he isnt, just leave him alone and warn people that he's creepy. I leave it to you. [ WittyUsernameHere's advice column | Ask WittyUsernameHere A Question ]
Nallie answered Saturday January 3 2009, 8:14 pm: Well, number one child molestors can look like anyone..so looks are not the issue. However the issue is how he made you feel, obviously creepy so your gut instict says.."this is so wrong"
I must tell you that you are very smart for realizing this! So many girls would fall for the thrill of the ultimate bad boy persona. Sometimes that risk is addictive, that's why you continued to have contact with him. Since you are smarter than most girls, I believe yes, you should tell your Dad. The reason I say this, is something really terrible could happen to the next person involved with him and you have the opportunity to at least put a temporary stop to it. Tell your friends to have no more contact with him as you are handling things in a professional manner now. [ Nallie's advice column | Ask Nallie A Question ]
Sweet_LiL_Angel answered Saturday January 3 2009, 7:49 pm: I live in a ohio to and if you are really scared of this person. stop with the phone harrsement. but your parents can press charges against him for you being a minor. i think you need to let your dad know. dont do it if your just doing it because he made you mad. where you really scared?? did you not want to do anything with him? tell your father what happened. [ Sweet_LiL_Angel's advice column | Ask Sweet_LiL_Angel A Question ]
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