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he's taking me for granted


Question Posted Friday January 2 2009, 7:53 am

hi. my boyfriend and i have been dating for 3 months now. I am not sure about my feelings right now but i think i am not happy anymore with our relp. I don't know but until now he hasn't even let me check his cellphone. Not that it's his obligation to fetch me after school or buy me simple gifts but he hasn't done any of that until now. I am happy when im with him but he's not putting too much effort in our relp for it work and stay strong. i haven't talked about it with him coz maybe it's just his personality that he's not expressive but im starting to get used to it. Another thing, when some girls admit that they like him, he entertains them. and is it ok for him to call them Babe? do guys are really born flirts? I'm afraid that he's pushing me away and i might lose him. But i can't take it anymore. One time, he doesn't call or text me for a day. As if he doesn't care about my feelings...

Pls. Help. My relp is on the rocks!


thanks!


~yssa


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TimothyDanger answered Sunday January 4 2009, 12:31 am:
You didn't mention an age, so I'll just assume you're young (high schoolish)

I never let any girlfriend of mine check my phone. I have nothing to hide, but I just always felt like she didn't trust me if she did it.
I'm not in a relationship to be tested everyday.

Before you think about cutting him loose, remember that you have admitted you havent talked to him about it because of his personality...
It sounds like a broken record, but communication and trust are the key to any relationship, you should talk to him like you talk to your best friend because if you date him longer, that's what he may end up.
The good news is you are at an age where you can afford to be selective in your dating, you can change dudes out like socks so you can learn what your type is. If he is worth saving, he will come back. Isn't it better to face things head on than to go on like it is and have things blow up at a socially awkward time?

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duudee_advicer answered Saturday January 3 2009, 11:23 pm:
You might not like my answer, but I'm not here to tell you what you want to hear- I'm here to help.

You can't expect a guy to be OK with you checking his cell phone. A phone is private. Trust is imperative in a relationship. My demanding to check his phone is an invasion of privacy and a loop in that trust. Like you said, you can't expect him to pick you up when you need to or buy you gifts. Sure, its nice. But its not mandatory to show someone you care about them.

But now, for the other girls. Having my guy call another girl "babe" would piss me off. I don't think that's okay. If he is friends with these girls and its harmless, I'd have no problem with it. But if this guy is going out of his way to be flirty with girls he KNOWS are interested in him- that's bull crap.

My recommendation?
Talk to him. I know, it sucks. But you gotta do it. I'll help you out. "*Name*, its bothering me that you keep making a point to flirt with other girls. If you don't mean to, its cool. I just hate when you do it, it makes me feel like you don't care about me." That should get you started.

Good Luck
Kymmy :)

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Janie93 answered Saturday January 3 2009, 11:10 pm:
I'm sorry you are going through with this! What i would do is confront you boyfriend and tell him about how you feel. If that doesn't work...maybe it's not meant to be

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ccupcake07 answered Saturday January 3 2009, 8:14 pm:
I would think about taking a break. It sounds like he isn't doing a good job being a boyfriend to you and you aren't really interested in him anymore. There are bigger and better things out there. Go for them. Good luck! Hope this helps!

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