about

I am 48 years old (yes that's old compared to some of you).


I have worked in nursing and/or healthcare management positions for 24 years. Primarily OB, Neonatal, Mental Health, Occupational Health and Geriatrics. In Jan 2008 I started my own business to board horses and do equine/human education. I am also a certified dog trainer.


I've been around the block so to speak and seem to be always helping others. I've been told that the reason people seek me out for advice is that I am approachable and caring. But on the same token even though I consider the person's feelings. I tell it like I see it. I've dealt with people in trouble with the law, dysfunctional families such as those with abuse & marriage problems. Not to mention problems with employees and employers.


I don't ever claim to know it all, and always keep an open mind.


advice

Is it true that stomach ulcers can be caused by being stressed or worried too much? I was told this and I'm not sure if it's true.

Stress releases hormones which can aggravate illness, but sometimes "Stress" is not the core cause. Ulcers are not caused by stress, but a bacteria that can be eliminated with the right antibiotic. People who believe they have an ulcer should be treated by a physician. If in fact they do have an ulcer this can be a serious problem if it eats through the lining of the GI tract or creates stomach or intestine bleeding which is life threatening.

Go here to read this article and then do your own search for H.Pylori

http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/9608/30/nfm/tummy.trouble/

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what can you do to reduce gas without medication?

There are usually common foods that trigger "gas" in the majority of people. Although some tolerate those foods better than others. To start with you should avoid those foods as someone else has already mentioned. When you eat, chew your food well with your mouth closed (as not to take in air) eat slowly and don't gulp beverages. If you commonly drink carbonated beverages--and/or use a straw this can cause "gas" too. You can try adding the foods you have eliminated back to your diet one at a time. For example: On Monday eat cabbage, eat broccoli on Thursday, eat Onions on Sunday...etc. When you add the food back you should know within 24 hours if it is a trigger for you and you might want to avoid that specific food altogether. If you are having extreme abdominal pain, diarrhea or constipation--or any change in bowel habits you should see your Dr to rule out a more serious illness and advise treatment.

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every now and then, I get these truly awful headaches that dont go away for a few days. Theyre really annoying becuase they interrupt my whole life...I cant do anything becuase even the slightest noise makes my head pound and bright lights make my eyes sting. Could it have anything to do with the computer? and is there anything I could do (besides aspirin or any medication) to make them stop happening or make them less intense? thanks so much ♥

From my nursing point of view it sounds as if your headaches are a serious problem. Don't try to self treat or get a diagnosis on a message board. There could be a serious reason for the headaches and then again it could be minor. However, your health and life is not worth gambling--and playing the guessing game.

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i know this is weird but is the best tampon to use..i'm a beginner at his..and how do you one...
and how long doesa pierod last...please help

There are now slender tampons for teens and beginners. The ones with plastic applicators are better. A period should last anywhere from 3-7 days, usually less than seven in the begging of your cycles. By all means follow the directions on the box, and until you are used to wearing a tampon wear a panty liner too.

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ok well one of my friends wants snakebites and the only way he can get them is if someone else pierces them and well the someone is me. and i was just wondering some tips on how to do them..we're going to use everything a professional would use but i would like some pointers.

P.S. and if u dont kno what snakebites are they are lip piercings on both sides

Whatever you do, don't sterilize the needle by using a flame! This causes the needle to turn blackish and that can cause a permanent tatto effect as the needle goes into the skin.

I personally don't like extreme body or face peircings just because I have seen a host of medical complications due to the same. I would recommend going to a professional.

PS peroxide doesn't sterilize the wound or the equipment.

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Ive been having like really low self esteme issues for like the past year or so... ive done so much physical harm to myself but i know its not right.. but i keep doing it cuz its like an addiction.. in the past year my best friend killed herself..(over me to try and get me to stop) and ive been in an abusive relationship.. everything has just put me down.. even the smallest things.. and i dont ever seem to be happy anymore.. i dont know what to do anymore.. sometimes i think that life is just like a dream.. is there any way i could help this?? (please dont say a councelor ive tried many and none have helped)...

I believe that the reason most people harm themselves through what's called self mutilation is to attempt to releieve emotional pain. This process rarely causes any long term relief because of the negative implications like the guilt that you are probably feeling when you say "I know it's not right" This in turn creates a negative self esteem, and yes with all this emotional pain most people will be bothered by the small things in every day life. So while what you are feeling can be expected.

You say you've tried many counselors? Sometimes successful therapy is a trial and error process. With each failed attempt you are one step closer to finding the right treatment.

The sun will rise tomorrow, and with each new day, there is new hope that you will find help. I am sure you want to be around to feel what it's like to feel good. If you give up now, you'll never know.

Call this number for help:
800-DONT-CUT
800-366-8288

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Dose anyone know what the odds are of getting pregant by the put out method? Cuz he didn't cum in me but i didn't know what the odds are of getting pregant by per-cum or whatever it's called. ~Thanks

The fluid that is discharged prior to ejaculation contains millions of sperm (there are millions in only one drop). It only takes one sperm to fertilize an egg. Given this knowledge, and to relieve your worries if you don't want a baby..use real birth control. Worrying about pregnancy is enough to ruin the moment, and an unwanted pregnancy can ruin your life.

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i've said in one of my recent questions that i've been hanging out with new people... those people would happen to be.. the druggies of our school... they've been asking me to try some stuff... and im thinking about doing it... does anyone have any advice on or websites i could go to... to maybe get some info on these types of things! appreciated!

That old fashioned peer pressure is really difficult isn't it? They will make the drugs seem like they are safe and harmless. They will make you think nothing will happen to you if you do them. They will even make you feel like less of a person because you are clean and they are not. However, either they don't know the truth or they are too stupid to care! You apparently know the truth about drugs or you wouldn't be asking. I don't think you are asking for a lecture so I will just give you some ways to say "no" without sounding uncool.

"I respect myself more than that".
"I know people that are addicted and they live miserable lives, I like my life just fine, thank-you."
"Haven't you heard about the new task force that is busting everyone in this area, I'd be afraid to have that stuff on me if I were you."
"I'm allergic to so many things I might have an allergic reaction and die immediatly".
" I know how to have fun without them".

Here's the sites you might like:
http://www.freevibe.com/

http://www.teens.drugabuse.gov/


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This may sound like a really stupid question comming from a mother of 6 but here it goes. I have a 2 year old little girl and she is the love of my life, but lately she is driving me crazy with this whole potty training thing. Does anyone have any advice or tricks that I can use to help her train?? She is the only female child that I have had to potty train. Boys are so much eaiser!!!!!!! Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!!!!!

First of all "relax" your stress will be transfered to your toddler and she will resist. Although other parents--and especially older parents will claim their children were all potty trained at "two" without incident, I highly doubt this is the case. Some two year olds don't have the bladder and bowel development to get potty trained that early. Most will by 28-30 months of age..and some will be over three.

One thing that hindered my younger two childrens potty training was the use of pull-ups. My oldest child didn't have them and therefore I know thats why it was so easy with him. You might try to find some old fashioned cloth training pants and only use pull ups when away from home. I think they need to feel the "wet and cold" to get the idea it's not a comfy thing to pee in the pants!

Start out by scheduling potty time--for example every two hours, immediatly when waking up, after a meal etc. Keep the time on the potty chair relaxed and unhurried. You can try a reward or better yet let her wear a fancy pair of underpants after she goes. Make a big production over how nice these underpants are. If she pees in the panties put the plain training pants back on and tell her no more pretty pants until she goes potty in the potty chair again. They are "special pants" and have to be dry and not wet. Most important is consistancy--so that everyone is reponsible for caring for your little one is doing the same thing.

Don't give up..and remember kids hardly ever start kindergarten in diapers. So it will happen eventually :-)

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I have a problem with worrying too much. I worry about everything, big and small. I worry that people won't like me at work, I worry that people are going to gossip about me, I worry that I might say the wrong thing. I also worry a lot about money, and that I'm never going to find a boyfriend. I also worry that my friends are mad at me.
Everyone tells me that I worry too much. Co-workers tell me I do a great job even when I think I left things a mess.
I wish I could just stop worrying. How can I stop worrying so much? I heard it makes you age and adds wrinkles.
signed,
worry wart

From one worrier to another....
It makes no sense to worry about what is not under our control. You have no control over what other people say, do or feel, so let those things go.

I have been reading much on stress and worry lately. I have discovered that these emotions are linked to a type of anxiety disorder. I am doing the "self help" thing myself. I have found that by listening to relaxing music, doing meditation, eating right, sleeping right and exercising my worry factor is lessened and I am feeling much better about myself. Of course an alternative to this is to see your Dr and discuss possible treatment methods if you actually do have an anxiety disorder.

I have also learned to shrug things off by asking myself "What's the worst thing that could happen?" When you answer this question come up with a solution to the worst case scenerio and you will see that every problem in your life can be solved if and when you actually have to face that situation.

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Theres a new girl at my school; Lizzie.
She seemed really sweet and over the past 2 weeks we've become [ or so i thought ] great friends.

The first day she got here, she asked me like who are good people to hang around, who to trust/not trust, who the populars are, who would get you in trouble, and what our school is like.

I told her in my school you can't trust anyone. I told her about a girl on our Team that is so stuck up and self-concieted and thinks she popular [ and shes deff. not ]And I told her my opionion about other people too. Well Lizzie ran off and told all those people what I had said about them and how not to trust me. This made me mad cause she specificly asked about these people then stabbed me in the back by telling them my opionion about them.

I don't wanna confront her about it though; I'd feel so embarressed. What should I do?

I wouldn't confront her, it will only make matters worse. This new girl sounds like what I call a "pot stirrer" meaning she likes to stir up trouble and sit back and watch it happen. Don't give her the pleasure.

Everyone else will find this out in their own time and way. You won't have to do anything--except you might want to apologize to the people that you talked bad about. Admit you made a mistake, they will think better of you and less of her in the end. It takes a big person to admit they are wrong.

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There is this one girl at my school who is basically my shadow. But not in a good way. Her main goal in life is to beat me at everything I do, which also means doing everything I do. I play the cello, and so does she, but I, not to brag, am better, so she gets very competitive about that. And since we met, she has decided to play piano, "volleyball," "guitar," and "sing," all of which I have been doing before we met. The reason I put quotation marks is because she does't do either of those things, but she just says she does. What should I do to make her get her own life?

Just consider it flattery and although it makes you crazy, don't do anything about it. This girl is being a copy cat because she likes you so well she wants to be just like you. You are probably her idol! Feel proud that you are so accomplished she idolizes you. Eventually you will do something that she is not interested in, or she will find a real talent of her own and you two will go your separate ways. Friendships like this don't usually pass the test of time.

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Well last night my mom and I had a fight and she said well if your dads so great go live with them so I started to cry, I sent a text message to my dad and step mom and I was like well if it comes down to it can I live with you. They havent replied and so I sent them another one about a hour ago. Still no answer my mom has been a real bitch lately and I dont know what to do somtimes I want to go live with my dad but I really dont like my mom just its my friends and the skit we are doing for the variety show that makes me want to stay. Please help.

♥ Tiff

Perhaps your mom is just not buying into what some kids of divorced parents do. Which is... play one parent against another. Without realizing it, that may be what you are doing. In other words, she is just calling your bluff. I would guess that she doesn't seriously want you to leave, but is practicing a little tough love. Perhaps your Dad isn't playing the game--and that's why he is ignoring you too.
As hard as it may be when you are upset, make a a "good karma" list. Write down all the reasons you might want to stay with your Mom. Keep it upbeat and positive and you just may bring good energy to your life at your Moms--good things will start to happen right where you're at, you'll see.

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16/f My dad won't let me get my license until I turn 17. I don't think this is fair. I've been driving (with a learners permit) for a year now. I'm like the perfect daughter, and I make mostly A's in school. I've never gotten in any serious trouble. And I really need my license because my parents hate driving me everywhere, and so I'm always stuck at home and I feel so..restrained? I don't know if thats the right word. But it's been really depressing me, seeing as ALL my friends are or have gotten their license when they turn(ed) 16. But I'm the only one who won't be getting mine. I cry all the time when I think about it, I want my license soo badly. How can I talk my dad into letting me get my license? I need some good, real answers. Thanks.

If you were my daughter I'd let you get your license.

I assume that your Dad is afraid that you will get into a car accident..it's a frightening thought, and I know what it feels like all to well.

Can you bargain with your father? Ask to take a drivers safety class. Tell him you will continue to get good grades and maintain a proper curfew. If you don't keep your end of the bargain he can stop you from driving if he wishes. Or perhaps if you get a job to pay for the insurance--then of course you will need to drive to go to work.

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My friend is a crybaby. I'm sorry if I'm being harsh, or freakishly blunt, but come on. The girl is thirteen years old, and she burst into tears when these two kids in my class wanted to see her yearbook. ALSO, she takes everything WAY too seriously. Every time anyone tries to offer helpful criticism, she gets all mad and starts talking shit about you to other people.

My question to you is...What do I do about this? Should I be friends with someone who is so...out of control? And what can I possibly say to her?

Some people are just more sensitive than others. She probably has a very low self esteem, and giving her any kind of criticism isn't the right way to approach her. Obviously she needs friends, but without knowing--she will drive people away.
Perhaps the best way to deal with her is to give her compliments to help boost her confidence.

I had a friend like this in my early highschool years and I slowly moved away from the friendship. I really couldn't handle how she taxed my emotions. Even at our 5 year highschool reunion she had a crying spell over the fact that her husband didn't show up. We were all perplexed at the fact that she hadn't matured.

After discussing this with a friend, I found out that she had been abused by her father from childhood on....it certainly explained a lot of things. I wish now that I would have spent more time trying to help her. She is probably still leading a miserable life.

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Ok well I've liked this boy for some time now. Like 6 years. I just dont know what to do I think he likes me but not sure. We were best friend but we both went to new schools this year and well we kind of arnt that close anymore. I still get that butterfly feeling in my stomach everytime he calls me or I see him but I just dont know what to do. I'm way to chicken to tell him I like him or to ask him our so dont even think about telling me to do that. Also I dont have anyfriend that are close to him to tell him. I just dont know what to do so please help me!!! I rate 5 for good answers!!!

Some people are "chicken" because they believe that they will be rejected. However, since you don't really have him...think of it this way "you have nothing to lose". Send him a simple card. Don't over do it, just say something like...

Since we've been apart, I have been thinking about you a lot. Please meet me (give time and place) if you aren't able to make it, give me a call and we will make other plans.

This will give him an easy out, he doesn't have to respond. If he doesn't then you will really know he doesn't feel the same way about you.

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patrick= guy i lost my virginity to... love.... friends... the whole nine yards he is perfect for me... i mean seriously. i can handle him... i love how he loses control... loses the angry. it all turns me on.... but he has a gf now. yet he acts like he still wants to be with me. i mean like seriously she stopped talking to me b/c i talked about him too much. my friends don't like him at all... as a matter of fact they hate him. i mean what am i supposed to do? i really like him... alot... hell i love this boy but my friends don't see the side i see. heres the side they see: evil,gothic, angry, depressed, psycho. all of those are true but i love it... i mean seriously. the side i see has all of those plus more. affection,love, happiness, joking around alot. i mean i love my friends and they have a bad feeling about him but i don't i mean not just b/c i love him and all just b/c i don't. i never have. i really love him. should i talk to him about it or what?? i mean over all what should i do?

Well, I am probably going to say some things that you don't want to hear.

People always want what they percieve they can't have.

and

Love is blind.
--------------
Your friends see Patrick in a different light because they don't love him.

That's a good thing--their instincts are probably more accurate.

If he's got another g/f, let him go. If you really care about him, let him go. If you care about yourself, let him go.

Letting go does not mean to stop caring.

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alright, first off i should tell you about my self. i am a 14 year old female, and i have never believed in god, or any of that stuff. ever. my whole family is majorly relgious, and im not. in most cases i am completely different from my family, so it didnt supprise me when i really didnt believe in god.

i dont believe in him, at all, what so ever. and my parents FORCE me too. like i HAVE to go to classes and church every week. i have tried to calmyly tell them, i dont believe in it.. i have tried uncalmly. nothing works.
i believe that religion is a thing that you should choose, it shouldnt be force.
so i need ya'lls help.

how can i really get them to see that i do not believe in this stuff?

i want to come across mature.

thanks for all that is going to help.

From reading your short post, I gather that you are wanting to express your independence and separateness from your parents. That's typical of someone your age, and perfectly healthy.

The very fact that you feel religion has been forced upon you is all the more reason for you to want to push away. You are correct, any religion cannot be forced upon a person, just that simple realization suggests to me that at fourteen you are very mature.

I have to ask you, why do your parents want you to attend religious classes and church?

I bet deep down inside you might answer that it is because they care about you and believe whole heartedly they are doing the right thing.

I fully believe that one important aspect of being mature--is keeping an open mind. Most religions have core values and beliefs that are similar, but they all require an open mind since a higher power is not something we can physically see or touch.

The bottom line is you are being "forced". I was lucky in the fact that I attended church on my own free will. My parents were relaxed enough to allow me to explore what different religions mean and to attend different types of services. It was really quite refreshing and interesting, I am so glad I was allowed to do that. But you know just by doing that I discovered that my religion felt "right" and I kept coming back.

Perhaps the best thing for you to do is have a heart to heart with the pastor of your church. That to me would show 'maturity'--later you can include your parents in the discussion or in another meeting.

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My grandpa died about one year ago, and the only time I cried about it is when i recieved the news on the phone. Not even at the funeral/wake..=\. But it's sort of hard to believe that I didn't because I used to have a diary and i wrote about how close i was to him and how much i loved him and such. Now for the past few days, all I have been doing is crying about him because I miss him so much. I mean i can't even watch certain shows on tv anymore because we used to watch them together, and songs that sing about relationships make me cry. My question is, why am i just starting to miss him and crying now? What should I do? This is the first time i've cried about him being gone.
Thanks for any advice. And btw, I dont have any other grandparents, and my parents and i arent that close so i cant get help from them. Thanks.

Grief is individual. Meaning there is no right way or wrong way, no right time or wrong time. In fact crying is good for you, it means you are on a healing journey. Especially when combined with the memories which you hold dear to your heart. It does not mean your are selfish--it's a proclimation of your love for your grandparent. I just want you to know that what you are going through is okay.

While you will never ever replace a person dear to your heart, a lot of people find peace in using their sad experience to bring goodness to others. If you are interested perhaps you could call a local nursing home or assisted living and ask if you could volunteer. There are many older people that do not have families that visit--and would love to adopt a grandchild such as yourself.
You'll just have to trust me on this one...but it's 100% true.

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I just had a volleyball tournament recently. Well, I got a few injures. I can't extend my left leg without my knee hurting ((Could y'all tell me what's up with that? I skinned it pretty bad)) and I think I cracked my tailbone. And my muscles are real stiff. Can y'all tell me what I can do to relive this pain?

Remember for an acute injury try the RICE method
Rest-Ice-Elevation and Compression. "Ice is Nice" I wouldn't use heat unless it is orderd by the Dr. Heat dialates the blood vessles therefore making swelling and the pain worse. Ice may feel uncomfortable at first, but in the long term it decreases swelling/throbbing and will help the pain. Never apply ice or a cold pack directly to the skin wrap it in a towel first.

If you are a teenager, don't use aspirin or products containing aspirin. In fact if the pain is severe, it's not likely that any over the counter medicine will bring you enough relief.
In my opinion it would be best to see a Dr--if only for the pain relief aspect.

You might want to consider that a knee is a rather complicated joint (lots of tendons, ligaments and cartilage) If you don't get the proper treatment now, you may have long term problems. If you enjoy being active in sports, you should consider that an "ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." Meaning go now--instead of waiting therefore elevating your risk for reinjury on an unstable knee at a later date.

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